


One Shaft of Light That Shows the Way

by BohemianBeth



Series: I See the Light [1]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blind Character, Color Blindness, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, John is a Good Friend, Multi, Protective Older Brothers, Sad with a Happy Ending, blind!roger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-01 22:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 67
Words: 263,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21339541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BohemianBeth/pseuds/BohemianBeth
Summary: In a world where everyone is colorblind until they touch their soulmate for the first time, blind Roger Taylor figures he'll never find the love of his life. After all, he can't even see light, let alone color. Maylor/Jimercury
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor, Jim Hutton/Freddie Mercury, John Deacon/Veronica Tetzlaff
Series: I See the Light [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550953
Comments: 516
Kudos: 254





	1. I Heard it on my Radio

**Author's Note:**

> When you have an entire extended universe like Marvel planned out for Four Magical Misfits and a shit ton of school work to catch up on, but you have a brilliant idea for another soulmate AU that no asked for. Who can relate? No one? *Sigh* Yeah I can't get this idea out of my head and had to start writing it otherwise I'd go slightly mad.
> 
> It's inspired by Blinded by the Light by shewasagaystripper which is an amazing rollercoaster ride of emotions, but I totally recommend. This idea also comes a bit from Eyes Full of Stars by GroovynSpoiled(FeederMercury) which I also would highly recommend you check out.
> 
> Anyway, this is a modern day soulmate AU about Maylor with a bit of Jimercury. If that's not your cup of tea, you might wanna click on that back arrow. Otherwise be respectful and know I don't want to offend anyone. This is just some fun I'm having with Queen fans. So please don't send this to the real Queen or anyone affiliated or anyone who might take offense. Thanks!

_Roger's POV_

It was only natural that I gravitated toward my radio. I learned everything I had to know through sounds more or less. When I was younger, I relied on touch a lot, but now that I was no longer a child, people didn't find that as endearing. It was understandable I guess. I could imagine how creepy it came off, asking to touch someone's face, but I had no other way of "seeing" what they look like. Unfortunately, exploring the world through my hands was not always a safe or comfortable option. So that led me to rely on my ears and so I developed a love of music and cherished the radio. Anything with a screen was useless to my dead eyes, so I did it the good old fashioned way with all the little knobs that I could feel and adjust with my fingers. Bless my flatmate and best friend John who installed a CD player into my radio so now I could listen to anything I wanted. Yeah I'm behind the times. Bluetooth and Youtube are foreign to me. All I have are CDs with braille covers and a radio. Honestly, I don't need anything else. Unlike what my parents believed, I was self sufficient. Of course I had my service dog Ringo (named after my favorite drummer) to help, and Deaky was always here for me as well, but I liked my independence.Listening to the radio gave me that freedom because it didn't require sight. I was exactly the same as any other listener. Music gave me a chance to see.

_'Picture yourself in a boat on a river_  
_With tangerine trees and marmalade skies...' _I imagined myself there in the vivid description creating a vision in my imagination. The scene dissipated when I heard the door open. I felt Ringo stiffen beside me, sitting up. He nudged the back of my palm with his nose to indicate someone was here. I turned off the radio even though I could hear the footsteps loud and clear with it on.

"John, is that you?" I called.

"Yeah it's me." Deaky confirmed. "And Ronnie's here too." His girlfriend, Veronica, announced herself.

"We have some big news that we'd like to share with you." John's voice was close enough for me to know he was in the room with me. Ronnie giggled softly and Deaky paused for dramatic effect.

"Go on." I prompted.

"We're engaged!" The couple shouted in unison.

"No way!" I exclaimed. I knew the two were soulmates and never far from each other's minds and hearts, but this was unexpected. I figured John would wait until after he graduated to pop the question. Still, I was happy for him. He and Veronica loved each other very much, and they deserved a long happy life together as soulmates. "Congratulations!" I proclaimed.

"Thank you!" Deaky said. "We're both really excited."

"Oh yes! John totally surprised me. I did not see it coming at all. We were walking through the park and he bent down to pick one of the bright yellow roses for me, but he stayed down on one knee and presented the ring alongside the rose." Ronnie recounted. "It was all so romantic!"

"The rose was improvised. I saw that it matched your yellow dress." John explained. "I'm starting to notice all these little things that I hadn't before now that I..." He stopped himself and I could tell he was looking at my guiltily.

"Now that you see in color." I completed the thought for him. I loved Deaky because he treated me like a normal human being for the most part. But then he had his slip-ups. I shrugged it off. "Color is overrated. Most people never find their soulmates and only see in black and white their entire lives." I reasoned. And then there were those who didn't see at all. People like me.

I was born with a weakened immune system as a baby and was unable to take certain vaccinations until I built up my immune system. Of course without the vaccines in my first years of life, I was vulnerable to many diseases. When I was two years old I contracted the measles and nearly died. My eyes got infected by the disease and I was left permanently blind. Fortunately, my immune system was strengthened by the tragedy, so I was able to receive my vaccinations afterwards. However, there was nothing doctors could do about my sight. The saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger comes to mind, but I prefer to think of it as what doesn't kill you makes you go blind for life. I don't remember what it's like to see which I suppose is a good thing. Having those memories and trying to transition into a world of darkness would make life more difficult. Here, I knew nothing outside of this void black pit, but because I knew nothing else, it was easier to accept as my reality.

My pet peeve is all this soulmate color bullshit. Seeing was seeing. I'd give anything just to be able to open my eyes and know what the world looks like. Who cares if it's in color or not? At least you have something displayed in front of you that isn't just a figment of imagination. People would complain about being colorblind or talk about what a world of a difference the shades would make after they met their soulmate. Probably the quote that would make me roll my pointless eyes the most was "It was like I was blind until I touched my soulmate for the very first time." Give me a break! You don't know what it's like to be blind until you experience it for real.

Deaky and Ronnie tried to downplay it around me, but I could tell it was difficult for them not to revel in the joy of exploring newfound colors popping out in front of their eyes as their love blossomed. I hated to bring down their spirits. It was nothing personal. I pretended it didn't bother me. "Do you mind if I see your ring?"

Ronnie understood what I meant by "see". She put her hand out and let me run my fingers across the diamond. I discovered it was indented and shaped like a teardrop. "Very nice." I complimented. "You must have paid a lot for it, Deaky. It feels rather large." Then I realized what I just said and snickered to myself resisting a "that's what she said" joke.

"Money doesn't matter." John dismissed. "I already have a job offer for after I graduate. The hardware store needs an electrician and the pay is good." I also knew that money was never a concern for John because his father was fairly wealthy, but I didn't point that out. Like me, Deaky wanted to live independently.

"We're setting the wedding date for the summer right after we graduate." Veronica announced.

"That way my brothers will be in town." John proclaimed. "You'll finally get to meet them, Rog! I'm sure you'll get along great with them, especially Freddie. You two have similar senses of humor."

Deaky spoke about his older brothers Freddie and Brian a lot, and I was looking forward to getting to know them. I didn't have many friends outside of John and Veronica. Most people thought blind was synonymous with stupid and would treat me like a small child or take pity on me. I've been living this way for 22 years and I can function quite well thank you very much.

"You're gonna cause a sibling rivalry when you decide on who you'll pick as best man." I chuckled. "Either Brian or Freddie is gonna be pissed off at you for not choosing them."

"Actually I was gonna ask you, Roger." Deaky admitted.

"Me? Over your own brothers? Are you joking?" I cried. "Why would you go and do a daft thing like that? I won't take offense, Deaks. In fact I'd be doing you a favor by saying no. It'll spare you a big fight with Freddie and Brian."

"Well, if it wasn't for you, Ronnie and I never would have met." John recalled. I smiled to myself remembering that awkward encounter in the library about four years ago when we all first met.

_I was busy stacking the braille books on the shelves of the special section of the campus library. It was a tedious job, but it was better than being stuck at home having my family treat me like an invalid. Ringo nudged his paw against my foot making me stop. I figured there was a book on the floor that I could trip over. So when I bent over and touched the carpet beneath me I was surprised to find a slip of paper. "I probably wouldn't have tripped over this, but good boy." I pet him behind his ears. My hands explored the paper, and I frowned feeling nothing. It obviously wasn't in braille._

_"Oh sorry!" I flinched when I heard a man's voice from behind me. Normally I could sense when people were near by through their footsteps or body heat. This person completely snuck up on me. "I must have dropped that one on my way to the bulletin board. Would you be interested by any chance?"_

_"Interested in what?" I asked cluelessly._

_"Well, read that flyer silly." The stranger replied. I was looking in his general direction. Maybe I got lucky and made direct eye contact. I paused for a bit to revel in the pleasure of someone not realizing I was any different._

_"Hey, I didn't know you were allowed to bring animals here. Your dog is so cute!"_

_"Ringo, sit!" I commanded as the man stepped forward, probably to pet him. I wondered how long it would take this guy to see the vest Ringo wore marking him as a-"Oh! You're a seeing eye dog? Wait...that means..." Here we go. So much for being treated normally. I prepared myself for that self righteous tone of faked sympathy to make himself feel better._

_"Sorry I didn't make any flyers in braille. I didn't think to do it. It says I'm looking for a flatmate. I used to share the flat with my big brothers, but now they've both graduated and moved out, and my father doesn't want me living in the city alone. It's about a 10 minute commute from campus. So are you interested? The complex has a no animal policy, but I'm sure the landlord will make an exception for service dogs. I doubt he'd be able to resist such a cute face either."_

_Was I hearing that right? Someone actually wanted to live with me, and they were well aware of my disability? This had to be some sort of dream. Moving out and living with someone who viewed me as an actual fellow human being would give me full independence. Now I couldn't give my hopes up. There had to be some sort of catch. I responded as casually as I could. I gave Ringo a pet. "Did you hear that, buddy? Someone with real vision confirms that you're cute. All this time you could've looked like Gollum for what I know."_

_"You've seen Lord of the Rings?" My potential new flatmate asked. "Those are my favorite movies!"_

_"I've um only read the books." Movies with audio enhancements exist, but I still don't find them too entertaining._

_"Oh duh of course. How else could you know what Gollum looks like?...Sorry. Am I coming off too strong? I've never done this kind of thing before, but I'm trying to make new friends now that my brothers left. And I really don't want to move back in with my dad. I'm sick of being coddled by everyone. I'm the baby of the family, and I want to prove to them I can live on my own or at least with a flatmate...My name is John by the way, but everyone calls me Deaky."_

_"Roger." I introduced myself "And this is Ringo Starr the dog. Maybe he looks something like Ringo Starr the human, but they certainly don't sound the same. That much I can tell you."_

_Deaky laughed at my bad joke. "We have a lot in common it seems. We both like Lord of the Rings, dogs, and the Beatles."_

_"And we both want our independence and to be taken more seriously." I ventured._

_"So does that mean you'll be my flatmate?"He sounded genuinely excited, like this was something he really wanted. I couldn't believe it! Here my dad said no one outside of the family or the state would ever take me in or show me compassion, so I shouldn't even bother making friends. I never thought I'd prove him wrong. "I'd love to, Deaky! When can I move in?"_

_"As soon as possible. In fact..." John trailed off, and I knew what stole his attention when I heard someone wheeling one of those mobile bookshelves past us. "Oh, that's probably just the librarian, Veronica." I concluded. "She's very nice. Don't worry. We can keep talking. She won't shush us."_

_"I-I know...I have a crush on her....I'm just too shy to ever talk to her." He whispered. "I don't even know what to say."_

_"Maybe you can ask her to recommend you a self help book." I suggested._

_"But I don't need a self help book." Deaky stated. "Besides, I hear therapy works better."_

_"It doesn't matter. Just use that an excuse to talk to Veronica. Now's your chance. Maybe she has a self help book on the thing she's wheeling." I prompted._

_John gulped. "M-Maybe that'll work. I think I'll give it a shot!"_

_I followed John to where Veronica had stopped to set up the books. The librarian knew I was blind, so she wouldn't realize that I was spying on them._

_"Um...umm.."John's voice was shaky. It was kind of cute how afraid he was. "Excuse me?"_

_"Can I help you?" Veronica responded._

_"Um...My name is John Richard Deacon...and I was born--"_

_He needed help. I stepped forward. "Hi. My friend needs a self help book, something that will encourage him to overcome his shyness."_

_"Is that so?" Veronica responded. "If that's the case, then you're in luck because I happen to have a shyness and social anxiety workshop book right here. I've read it several times myself. It truly works miracles. There's no shame in asking for help, but it can be a little scary. I appreciate that you chose to reach out to me, John."_

_"Thank you."_

_Suddenly, the two went dead silent. All I could hear was their breathing. What was happening? Would it be rude to blurt something out asking what they were up to? If they were snogging I'd be able to hear it, right?_

_"D-Do...you see that the book cover is green too?" Deaky finally clued me in._

_"Yes." Veronica choked. "A-All the covers have color...E-everything has color!"_

_"I never thought it'd be this beautiful! And even you, you're more beautiful than before, and I'm not sure how that's possible!" John proclaimed._

_"I've seen you admiring me from afar and I was wondering when you'd work up the courage to come talk to me and ask me out, but I never thought we'd be soulmates! I can't believe this! Look at all the colors!"_

_All I could do was listen as the two laughed in a euphoria. A match made in heaven that I was happy to be a part of. I just wish I could've seen the surprise and delight on their faces when their hands brushed against each other for the first time as Deaky took the book from Ronnie._

Who knew my life could change for the better so quickly? I knew I had some limitations, naturally, but without the negative influence of my family since moving out I gained so much more autonomy. Sometimes I could easily forget that I wasn't an able bodied person, but those moments were rare. Having friends like John and Veronica allowed them to occur more often.

"So are you sure your brothers won't get upset that I'm best man?" I asked again.

"Maybe." Deaky acknowledged. "But I'm sure Freddie will forgive me when I put him in charge of planning the wedding. And Brian would probably turn a festive event into homework and stress himself out trying to write the perfect best man speech. I don't know why he always puts himself under pressure like that."

"There's nothing wrong with being a perfectionist." I justified. "From what I hear of Bri I think I'd like him a lot. You said we have similar taste in music too."

"Yes, Brian loves Jimi Hendrix. That's why we call him Brimi. I think Freddie was the one who started that 'cause he loves to give out nicknames, although I can't be sure. I just always remember us being deemed Deaky and Brimi. In fact Freddie even gave a nickname to our dad too. He dubbed him Miami and now everyone just goes along with it."

"I wonder what Freddie will call me." I said. It would be a mystery considering I didn't even know my own face. I was told that I was very handsome, but people could just be saying that to make me feel good. I'd never really know.

"Well my family is very eager to meet you, Roger. I've told them a lot about you. My dad is having us over for a brunch next month to celebrate our engagement and to welcome Freddie home from another successful tour with the royal ballet. He's invited you too if you'd like to come." John offered. "Brian won't be there because he's busy working with NASA, but you'll be able to meet him at the engagement party."

"You should come to the brunch with us." Ronnie insisted. "Freddie and Miami would love to get to know you. Whenever I visit them with John all he ever talks about is you. I'm sure they're quite sick of hearing about you from John and would rather talk to you in person."

"That sounds like fun." I agreed. I was slightly bummed out that Brian wouldn't be there as well because he sounded like someone I would get along with and I wanted more friends. I wasn't sure how well I'd bond with Freddie. He was an artist and dancer. Those were two things you needed vision to appreciate (watching someone dance; of course sight isn't necessary for dancing yourself but it would be helpful).According to John though Freddie and I both shared a love of sarcasm, so that was something we could work off of.****

"I um haven't told them you're blind." John blurted."You're always saying you wish people didn't know so they won't treat you any differently. So all they know is that you're funny and smart and a killer on the drums. I hope that's alright."

I nodded. "They'll find out eventually, but I appreciate the gesture. Thanks, Deaks."

"I've got your back, Rog." He assured me. It caught me off guard when he patted me on the shoulder because I naturally didn't see the touch coming. Ringo barked when he saw me flinch. "It's fine, bud. It's only Deaky." I shushed him. 

"Have I told you how much Brian loves animals?" John asked. "When he's not holed up in a library studying space dust, he's advocating on behalf of badgers and foxes."

"Badgers?" I was vaguely familiar with the animal, but I had no references, so in my mind I imagined a bizarre looking creature that probably resembled anything but a badger. When your eyes don't work, your imagination has to pick up the slack. Sometimes I wondered if the world appeared completely contrast to how I pictured it. The one thing I wanted more than anything else was to be able to see, but sight could get overwhelming, and I may even have to relearn everything I thought I knew because expectations were all wrong. I sighed and turned my radio back on. Why bother giving myself hope when there was none?


	2. Dear Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger meets Miami and Freddie at a brunch celebrating his friends' engagement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read the first chapter of this fic! The upcoming adoption plot line and the way Freddie refers to Deaky as his cream puff is inspired by the works of sweetsisterbeebin on Wattpad.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter alludes to child abuse and discusses Freddie's fictionalized backstory dealing with a violent hate crime that is unfortunately very realistic for today's times.

I love driving. Okay technically I can't drive. But I just love the feeling of sitting in a car (even if it's the passenger seat) and the sensation of the rush of movement and the wind flying through my hair. All I hear is the gear and it's such a thrill when the radials squeal. The sounds alone invited me into a different realm where I can travel long distances and explore a world that's otherwise completely dark. I don't remember living life any other way, so many things that I miss out on I just shrug off; however driving is an impossibility I yearn for. If by some miracle God answered my prayers and gave me my sight back, the first place I'd head to was the DMV.

"You know you taught me a lot, Roger." John struck conversation as he backed out of the driveway. "You get so happy from the simplest things in life like listening to the radio or going for a drive. Sometimes we get so busy or worked up over the big things that we forget to take a moment and enjoy the little things. Like my beautiful fiancé for example. I shouldn't take you for granted, Ronnie."

"I should record you saying that and play it back to you if you ever do take me for granted." Veronica laughed. "Not that you ever would."

"Red light." Deaky announced and I felt the car slow to a stop.

"How could you tell which color the stoplights were before when you were colorblind?" I asked curiously.

"The lights are also marked with the letters G R and Y for green, red and yellow." Deaky explained.

"So no one should be excused for not going when the light turns green." Ronnie drummed her fingers on the dashboard impatiently. "Deaky, honk your horn, for crying out loud!"

I assumed the light switched back to green but the car in front of us was still stopped.

"I don't like using my horn. I feel it's impolite."

"We're going to miss the light because of this asshole." Ronnie complained.

"Sweetheart, I think you're missing the point of my talk on not getting worked up over things and sometimes just sitting back and going with the flow." John remarked, "Right, Roger?"

"No, I'm with Ronnie on this one." I disagreed. "The car in front might be broken down or have a flat tire but he's more likely just texting and not paying attention so you should beep the shit out of him until he moves his bloody ca—" The jolt of returning to motion made me stop mid sentence. "It's fine he's moving now." John announced as if I couldn't already tell.

The rest of the ride was uneventful. Well it was uneventful for Deaky and Veronica, but any sort of experience that linked me closer to the world of sight, especially car rides, I cherished.

Ringo nudged the back of my hand with his nose when I slowly stepped out of the car. I knew what it meant but still Deaky warned: "Careful, Roger, there's a curb in front of you. Be sure to step over it and not trip."

"I'm alright but thanks for the heads up!" I stepped over the curb and with Ringo's guidance followed John and Veronica to the flat. According to my trusted service dog there were no more obstacles in my way so I trudged forward without any issues. I didn't need Ringo to come to a halt for me to realize I'd be bumping into someone because I could sense their body heat. The scent of floral perfume told me it was Ronnie and not Deaky. I took a few steps back so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable by how close I was.

Deaky knocked on the door of the flat and a moment later it opened with a soft creak. "John! My boy! How are you?" A man with a kind voice greeted.

"I'm doing great!" Deaky replied.

"Ronnie! It's good to see you again. And you must be Roger. I've heard so much about you. Please come in make yourself at home." I assumed that Miami was issuing the invitation.

So focused on making a good impression with John's dad, I didn't take into account Ringo's warning. By the time Deaky cried "Roger, watch out! There's a step." it was already too late. I was falling. Thankfully someone caught me before I could hit the ground. "Thanks, John. You're a literal life saver. I totally missed that step."

"Um, Rog, I'm not the one holding you."

"Are you okay?" Miami's voice came from the person holding me steady. "I've been meaning to get that step leveled. It's caused nothing but trouble. A total liability that the home ownership's association should have informed the contractor about during construction. I'll tell you my colleagues who specialize in slip and fall could make a quick penny from this sort of thing."

"Dad, please don't scare my only friend away with all of your legal mumble jumble. Roger's alright and that's all that matters." John said as I resituated myself.

"Am I really that bad?" Miami chuckled. "Hi, I'm John's father, Jim, but everyone calls me Miami, even my own sons. You can thank the mischievous eldest one for that nickname. I'm holding out my hand at 2:00 if you want to shake it."

Much to my surprise, he didn't seem to be making a spectacle out of my handicap and he knew the clock system. "T-Thank you, sir." Miami had a firm grip. His hand felt slightly wrinkled.

"Like I said, call me Miami. What breed is your service dog? He looks like a lab to me."

"He's a chocolate lab I'm told. His name's Ringo like Ringo Starr."

"Ah, you are a man with a fine taste in music. Deaky, I'm so proud you've found a friend, but I probably wouldn't be too nice to him if he had named his dog Post Malone or Drake." Miami joked.

I told Ringo to sit so Miami could pet him. "We love animals in this family. You know I had so much trouble saying no to the boys that we had so many pets over the years. It was like we were running a zoo! A dog, a bunny, and several fish for John. An entire litter of cats for Freddie. And a hedgehog and a badger for Brian."

"Wow!" I exclaimed.

Convincing my father to get me a seeing eye dog took an intervention from members of the special academy for the blind I attended. What finally sealed the deal was being told that any expenses in taking care of Ringo could be tax deductible. In a messed up way, I was glad I ended up like this so my father wouldn't pester me about "paying him back" because I received disability money from the state. My poor little sister Clare on the other hand was not spared from Dad's wrath. By the time she was 13, he forced her to seek employment at any place willing to overlook child labour laws. I was so thankful that she had gotten out of there and was able to attend university far away. Clare had a bright future ahead of her unlike me. Literally speaking nothing in my future could ever be bright.

"So where's Fred?" John interrupted my dismal trail of thoughts.

"Oh you know your brother, he's always running late. We might as well start eating without him. Come at least have some hors d'oeuvres. Roger, the living room is straight ahead and to the left. The coffee table is at 9:00 with chips and dip and pigs in a blanket ready to eat."

"Where did you learn the clock system?" I inquired.

"I've had a long career and I've worked with clients from all walks of life over the years including some with disabilities." Miami explained. "I'm retired now but I used to be a contract and patent attorney."

"Yes, John said you were a wealthy lawyer." I acknowledged.

"Well John told me that you're the best friend that he's ever had. He even called you his sunshine."

"Miami!" Deaky scolded embarrassment in his tone.

"Or maybe I'm remembering it wrong. Maybe he said that about Ronnie. Either way Deaky really loves you. And I've got to say, Roger, I'm glad he found you. I was so scared to let my little baby be all out on his own without his brothers there to protect him. Knowing he's not alone helps me fall asleep at night and God knows I need my sleep. I lost too much over the years as a single Dad of three hooligans. Loveable hooligans, but hooligans nonetheless."

A knock on the door made Ringo bark. "That's probably Freddie." Miami said. "Stay here and enjoy the appetizers. I'll answer the door."

"Hurry back." John replied.

Not exactly sure what a pig in a blanket was, I picked up the appetizer and gave it a taste. "This is like a mini hotdog?"

"Yeah. We usually have non veggie options at parties and get togethers where Brian can't make it." Deaky explained. Ronnie laughed. "He'd be so upset. Not that there's anything wrong with vegans," She preluded, "but that lifestyle is not for me."

"Brian's a vegan?" I asked.

Before I could answer, a loud posh voice trailed across the room "Miami, darling! I've missed you. What's the matter with you, dear, aren't you going to give your favorite son a hug?"

"Freddie, you know I don't have favorites."

"Nonsense. Now, where's my cream puff? Where's my baby boy? I can't believe he's getting married. They grow up so fast!"

I could practically hear the eye roll in John's voice. "I'm 23 years old, Freddie. You need to stop treating me like I'm--"

"DEAKY!" From the clinking sound of Freddie's shoes as he rushed to greet his brother, I could tell he was wearing platforms. Interesting choice in footwear. I was already too vulnerable to trip, so elevated shoes was a disaster waiting to happen, but Clare once told me I was lucky I wasn't a girl because they were expected to wear heels. To me nothing really mattered because I couldn't see any of it, but society placed a lot of restrictions on what was a appropriate to wear especially surrounding gender. I just wore whatever was most comfortable and least distracting.

"Freddie Mercury, you put me down this instant!" John shouted and it was clear that Freddie had swept his little brother up off of his feet in their embrace.

"You're so cute, my little cream puff. You'll always be my baby boy."

"Please, don't do this! You're embarrassing me in front of Veronica and Roger!" John scolded and I heard Veronica laugh but not in cruel manner.

"Ronnie! Long time no see! How are you, darling? Have you gone wedding dress shopping yet? Are you planning on hiring any strippers for your bridal shower?"

"No and no." She stated.

"Thank God you haven't bought a dress yet. You need my insight. I can't let you walk down that aisle unless you look absolutely heavenly like the princess from the fairy tale that you are, darling. This wedding is going to be perfect! And I take my responsibility as sole coordinator very seriously to see to it that everything goes strictly according to plan."

"Freddie, I'm not going dress shopping with you. I have plans this weekend with my mother and sisters. It's a girl thing. And you're planning everything except the bridal shower. That's also a girl thing." Veronica said.

"I understand, darling. Freddie will take no part in the bride's activities. Melina Mercury will be at your service instead."

"Melina Mercury is you in drag, which is still you. So no. She won't be participating either."

"You're no fun, darling." Freddie pouted.

I felt the weight of the couch shift slightly as Freddie sat down. He seemed like a skinny lad; there wasn't much of a motion. "Hey, hey, hey! You're Deaky's new best friend Roger! Where the hell are my manners? Hello, darling. My name is Freddie. I'm Deaky's favorite and oldest brother who's taken care of him since he was only a few weeks old."

"Just for being so obnoxious, I'm declaring Bri as my favorite now." Deaky muttered.

"I'm going to ignore that." Freddie said. "Anyway, it's a pleasure to finally meet you, Roger, darling. I'm so happy that Deaky isn't all alone. I want him to learn to live on his own. Eventually baby birds have to spread their wings and fly away, but having you around to take care of him has been a huge help. I don't have to worry about him while I'm off touring the world with the royal ballet."

"It's nice to meet you too Freddie." I replied. "Um don't take this the wrong way, but are you on cocaine?"

He laughed. "No, dear! I do get that question a lot so I won't take offense. I'm just very high energy and I drink a lot of coffee."

"He's like a vampire. He never sleeps." Deaky said.

"A sexy Persian vampire." Freddie declared himself.

"Why Persian?" I blurted. As far as I knew Deaky and his family were from London. John said he was born in Leicestershire. Did they have Persian roots despite coming from the UK?

"Well isn't it obvious just by looking at me, dear?" Freddie exclaimed. "You're not daft enough to believe we're brothers by blood. Deaky's white as wonder bread and I consider myself the caramel spread put on top of that bread."

"Gross, Freddie!" Deaky cried, "Who puts caramel on bread? The only thing that belongs on bread is cheese. Besides, now that I'm not colorblind, I see you more as a mocha or coffee color if you wanna make the food analogy."

"Oh please, please, please tell me again what it was like. Describe the moment you first touched each other and saw color flash before your very eyes." Freddie begged. "What's color like? I'm dying to know! This world is so bleak and dull without it. I can barely distinguish the color of my own bloody skin for crying out loud!"

"Some things can be worse." I muttered as Deaky and Ronnie went hesitantly silent.

"I can't imagine anything worse than this." Freddie sighed. "Each morning I get up I die a little, can barely stand on my feet! I take a look in the mirror and when I see my colorless reflection I cry. I ask Lord, what are you doing to me? I tell him 'I have spent all my years in believing you, but I just can't get no relief!'"

"Freddie, don't be a drama queen." John quipped. He subtly elbowed me as if to apologize without vocalizing it.

"I'm not exaggerating, darling! At the end of the day when I'm still stuck in this flat, lifeless world without my soulmate, I get down on my knees, and I start to pray 'till the tears run down from my eyes."

Ringo sensed my unease with Freddie's overdramatic monologue, and growled slightly. "Easy, buddy. He doesn't mean any harm. He just doesn't know any better."

"I'll be a cat lover till the day I die, but I must say your dog is quite lovely," Freddie complimented, "and it's always so adorable when animals get dressed up for special occasions. What does his vest say?...Seeing eye dog....Oh! Well fuck I'm being a total ass! Here I am bitching about needing to find somebody to love so I can see in color, but you need your soulmate more than I do. You can't see at all, can you?"

"I don't need my soulmate." I replied coldly. "I probably won't even know it's him when we meet."

"Him?" Freddie asked. I recoiled when he grabbed my hand without warning. "Sorry, darling. I just had to be sure that you weren't the one for me. Usually my gaydar is spot on, but for some reason I didn't realize you fancied men. It's a shame we're not soulmates. You're very handsome. And I really want you to finally see the world. I'm sorry I couldn't give you that with my touch."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"Oh, I'm gay too. I thought it was worth a shot trying to see if we were soulmates, but obviously we're not or else I'd be seeing and color and you'd be...well, seeing."

I shook my head. "It doesn't work like that, Freddie. I wish it did. When we touch, nothing will change for me. He'll probably see in color, but I'll just see darkness. A dozen separate doctors have confirmed it's medically impossible for me to ever see again. Meeting my soulmate won't change that."

"You poor, darling! I'm so sorry!"

"I don't want your fucking pity!" I scoffed, but still accepted his hug.

"Why don't we go to the dining room and start to eat?" Miami cleared the tension in the air. "We're having tuna noodle casserole with fresh fruit."

***

"Miami, your cooking's really improved! This is a great casserole!" Freddie remarked. "And I have very high standards as you know."

"Your standards must have gotten even higher now that you're dating that professional chef." John pointed out.

"Oh, dear. Please don't talk about Joe. You'll just upset me. I'm afraid we're not together anymore." Freddie said sadly.

"Oh no!" Ronnie cried.

"What happened?" Deaky asked.

"He found his soulmate. It was a very cordial breakup. We're still good friends, and I'm going to ask him to cater the wedding. I'm heartbroken, but I knew it was inevitable from the day we got together. We weren't meant for each other. I'm just glad we can still be close friends."

"That sucks. I'm sorry." I said.

"It's okay, Freddie." Deaky reassured him. "One day you'll find your soulmate and you'll be so happy when you do."

"In the meantime, I don't have a date for the wedding." Freddie sighed. "I spoke to Brian on the phone the other day. He's also single and doesn't know who he'll bring as his plus one. I suggested he get in contact with his high school sweetheart, Chrissie, but they're estranged now. I might ask Mary if I don't meet anyone in time. By the way, Roger, do you know who you're going to bring?"

"I-I wasn't aware that I needed a date." I stammered. I guess the best man was required to bring a plus one.

"It's necessary for the ceremony. All of John's family and groomsmen will walk down the aisle with their dates. It would just look lopsided if you walk by yourself. It doesn't have to be a date. It could be a friend or relative. Are you sure all of your bridesmaids aren't single?" Freddie asked Veronica. "That would make this a lot easier."

"I'm sorry. My older sister is the matron of honor and she's already married. My younger sister is engaged and my two best friends both have boyfriends." Ronnie said. "You should ask Mary, Freddie. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. And Roger, you shouldn't stress. We'll find you someone if we have to."

"Maybe I'll ask Clare." I decided. "I'm allowed to invite my sister?"

"Of course you are." Deaky said. "There's no rules."

"Miami, you can walk down the aisle with my mother, and my father will give me away." Veronica said.

"That sounds good." Miami agreed. "I just can't believe my youngest son is the first one to get married. I would have thought Brian would have been the first to settle down, but you surprised me, Deaky. I'm so happy for you two."

"What about me, darling? I'm the oldest. Wouldn't it make sense that I get married first?" Freddie reasoned.

"You're enjoying your bachelorhood too much to commit to marriage." John said.

"Oh, I'll have you know that the day I meet my soulmate, I will get down on one knee and propose to him on the spot." Freddie declared.

"You'll propose the moment you meet?" Deaky asked skeptically. "I'd like to see that."

"Of course I will. Now let's talk wedding planning. What do you think of a destination wedding? Miami!"

"I think it's up to John and Veronica." The lawyer said in between bites of casserole.

"No, not you, Miami. The _city_ Miami in Florida. The weather there is sunny and bright unlike this dreary fog we have now. You can get married on the beach! It will be so romantic!"

I tensed. Florida was so far away. I had never traveled too far from home, and the thought of flying on a plane was terrifying to me. America was an entirely different continent! Plus, I couldn't swim. While the beach seemed romantic and beautiful to some, it was scary to me. The ocean was just a wet consuming mass of terror in what was already one large black hole.

"That actually sounds lovely." Veronica said.

"Yes. I like that idea a lot. And Brian doesn't have to travel very far. The NASA facility he works at in Cape Canaveral is about a 3 hour drive from Miami." Deaky said.

"Wonderful! I'll make some phone calls and book us a 5 star hotel right on the ocean. It's going to be magical!"

"B-But the engagement party is going to be here in London." I confirmed. I needed more time to mentally prepare myself for such a big journey. The engagement party was coming up faster than the wedding. It was in a matter of weeks.

"Yes. I've already made reservations at the local Ritz for that. But I do need to speak to a florist. You can't have an engagement party without flowers. Deaky, darling, you should come with me and pick out the flowers you want. It's impossible to know what you'd like when I can't see color. Roger, maybe you should come with us as well. I'm sure your sense of smell is very keen. You can choose the flowers with the best scent. With your help we're sure to leave the flower shop with the finest of bouquets! Because only the very best can do for my baby Deaky on his special day and the events leading up to it."

"You really want me there?" I questioned. "I don't think I can offer much help in picking flowers or much help with anything in general."

"Stop that shit!" Freddie scolded. "Deaky tells me all about how resourceful you are. You even saved his life last year so I'm told."

"When was that?" I glanced in what I believed was John's direction.

"That time when a robber broke into the flat. Don't you remember? You heard him all the way from the cellar.Instead of panicking like I did, you shouted that you had a gun and thenbanged your drums so it sounded like bullets being shot. The coward ran so fast we didn't even need to call the police." Deaky recalled.

"Yes I remember that, but how will faking a gun with my drum kit help me go flower shopping?" I wondered.

"My point is that you're not as worthless as you think you are, my darling. You need to see yourself in a better light. Deaky views you as an asset as well as a dear friend and I can see why. So will you come with us, Roger? Even if you don't give us any insight on the flowers, you could provide us with some company." Freddie said. "And heaven forbid some lunatic tries to rob the flower shop, you can use your fake gun skills again."

That last outburst made me laugh even thought Deaky went dead silent. Miami reprimanding Freddie for the ill tempered joke made it seem even funnier. Maybe we would get along better than I expected. "Yes I'll go the florist with you." I agreed.

"With the three of you all going, this flower outing seems more like a bachelor party." Ronnie joked.

"Oh! I'm in charge of that too!" Freddie giggled. "It's going to be insane! 3 drink minimum nonstop party till we don't remember anything the next morning."

I frowned. "I don't drink." It just didn't seem like the wisest thing to do considering I was already impaired.

Freddie clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "I'm going to have to change that, darling."

"Freddie, stop trying to corrupt my friend!" Deaky protested. "Don't be a bad influence on Roger. Besides, I want my bachelor party to be tame. You're invited, Miami. And so are my engineering professors."

I heard Freddie spit out his tea. "Who the hell invites their professors to a bachelor party?"

"Well," The sound of fingers rubbing against fabric told me Deaky was fidgeting, "I invited some of my mates from school and I didn't want the professors to feel left out if they overheard us talking about it in the halls."

"You're such a bean." I cooed.

"I'll tell you, Deaky, you haven't changed at all really. You're still the same little baby cream puffthey brought to the orphanage all those years ago." Freddie reflected.

"It does feel like only yesterday that I encountered you in your crib at the orphanage and fell in love on the spot." Miami remarked. "And now look at you, all grown up and inviting your professors to your bachelor party!"

"Exactly I'm all grown up. Enough with the baby and the cream puff talk." Deaky dismissed in the cutest fashion. It was hypocritical of me to dote on my friend because I also wanted to be taken seriously. Although I knew if I could see I'd be reaching out and pinching Deaky's cheeks or bopping his nose as a sign of affection. He was just too adorable to handle at times. For now I resisted the urge because I didn't want to accidentally poke his eye or something.

"The memory is so clear." Freddie said. "I was playing on my toy xylophone and Brimi was accompanying me on his plastic guitar—"

"—I remember the women who ran the orphanage thought it was a good idea to adopt all three of you so you and Brian could learn to share your toys. Apparently you claimed the xylophone and guitar as your own and didn't let any of the other kids play with them." Miami interrupted the anecdote.

Freddie cleared his throat. "As I was saying, the two of us were playing when we overheard the orphan heads talking about the newborn baby whose mother passed away in labour and father suffered a fatal heart attack. They didn't know how to stop the little one from crying. So I snuck past them to go to the baby ward and that was how I met little Deaky. Poor thing was crying and crying in his crib. I started to sing to him and just like that—" Freddie snapped his fingers, "—Deaky stopped crying. He looked up at me and giggled."

"Newborn babies don't giggle." John stated. "At least not till they're a few months old."

"Well I swear you did, darling because you're my cream puff. Anyway the orphanage ladies were so impressed by my 5 year old skills to keep you from crying all the time that they let me visit you in the baby ward every day and with a little convincing, I got them to let Brian come as well."

"By convincing you mean whining." Deaky corrected.

"I don't whine, dear. I only drink it and dine."

I snickered at his play on words. Fred was a fun guy, and his story was truly touching. Much of it was probably exaggerated for dramatic effect like Deaky giggling and Freddie not whining (because let's face it, all five year olds whine even blind ones), but I believed most of it was accurate.

"Then along came a scary lawyer named Jim Beach who tried to take my cream puff away from me." Freddie continued. Miami laughed because of his son's dead serious tone. "When I heard Deaky was getting adopted and would leave me forever, I hid him. And if it wasn't for Brian snitching on me I never would have gotten caught."

"Where'd you hide him?" I asked.

"In the toy bin. He was so precious he could be mistaken for a doll and no one would ever find out. Of course Brian had to ruin my perfect scheme. I still haven't forgiven him for betraying my trust."

"He was 4 years old!" Deaky cried.

"And he did the right thing coming forward." Miami said. "John could have gotten hurt in the toy bin. Babies are very fragile."

"What convinced you to adopt all three of them?" I asked.

"I didn't have the heart to sign the final adoption papers while Freddie was directly outside wailing." Miami explained, "He was completely hysterical throwing the biggest temper tantrum of his life. Tears flying everywhere as he fisted the ground, screaming 'Don't take him away from me. You don't know what he means to me.' It was just agonizing to observe."

"And then the next thing I knew,Brian and I were brought into the room with the scary lawyer who was stealing my Deaky." Freddie recounted. "He became less scary of course when he said he wanted to adopt us too and that was the day we became one big happy family."

"I couldn't bare to separate them. They were already as close as brothers. And my wife, may she rest in peace, always said she wanted three little boys. I was adopting to fill the hole in my heart that her absence left. I originally just wanted a baby below one year to raise, but it seemed so perfect that the opportunity presented itself for me to take on two additional children to fulfill my wife's dream of the perfect family we always envisioned."

"Damn it, Miami!" Freddie sniffled. "Why didyou have to chop onions into this casserole? You're making me ruin my mascara!"

"I don't taste any onions." I frowned. I could usually figure out the exact ingredients of what I was eating within the first few bites.

"He means he's crying." Ronnie whispered.

"Oh yeah. That makes sense. Raw onions don't make me tear up. Most stimulants don't have any effect on my eyes." That sounded like a good thing almost like a super power, but it was very dangerous. My dead eyes could get infected or irritated but show no symptoms until it became serious. I recalled one morning waking up with a burning itching pain in my left eye so severe that I had to be rushed to the ER. The culprit had been an eyelash lodged in my sclera that I wasn't able to feel. With a few eye drops, I was good as new. However, my father threatened to give me a black eye that would bother me even more if I ever woke him up at 4 in the morning again for something he deemed a non emergency.

"It's such a shame that your eyes don't work properly." Freddie sighed. "They're so pretty. I can tell they're a lighter shade, and they seem to sparkle in the light."

"They're blue." Deaky said.

"Baby blue." Ronnie clarified.

"Oh I wish I could see that." Freddie sighed.

"You can!" I cried losing my patience for a moment. "Color doesn't fucking matter. When you look in the mirror you're still greeted by your own two eyes. I have to rely on other people telling me what I look like. For all I know I'm a freak with three eyes!"

"You're not. You have two big bright beautiful eyes." Freddie assured me.

But there really was no point in having eyes no matter how appealing they looked to others because they served no purpose. All they did was blink and look pretty. Occasionally let me cry. Like right now for instance. Damn, why couldn't I tear up when it mattered so I was informed that something came in contact with my eyes? I didn't need a reminder that I was sad. "Excuse me." I murmured.

I tapped Ringo, and he got up so he could help lead me to the bathroom where I grabbed some tissues and tried to compose myself. What was wrong with me? Freddie wasn't even being rude. In fact he was paying me compliments. He thought I was handsome and my eyes were pretty. If I were normal we'd probably be best friends. Deaky was right we surprisingly had a lot in common. It was just this one damn thing that controlled every aspect of my life and made it so hard to cross a barrier into friendship. It was a miracle I even found John and Veronica.

"Roggie?" Freddie knocked on the door. "Are you alright, dear? I didn't mean to make you cry."

"No. You've done nothing wrong. It's me. I'm the screwup." I said.

Freddie stepped into the room. This time I didn't flinch when he wrapped his arms around me and rocked me gently. He even gave me a kiss on my cheek which was an affection I rarely ever received from someone outside of my family. "Thank you." I whispered.

"Darling, I think you're the bravest soul in the world and you were brought here to be an inspiration to us all. So please don't just carry on like nothing really matters. You should have yourself a real good time and hold your head up high. I can't wait to take you flower shopping. I can tell you don't get out much and I want to change that. You deserve to have fun and be with friends. Now wipe those tears. There will be none of that. Every night's a party at Melina's mansion."

"We're at Miami's flat, Fred, not Melina's mansion, and it's not nighttime."

"It's an expression I have, lovie. You won't believe how weepy the ballerinas get when it's their time of the month. We travel together when we tour, so all the girls' periods are—"

"—Too much information!" I shouted.

"Anyway I tell them or anyone who cries and feels sorry for themselves to cut it out because there's always a party all night every night at Melina's mansion. Then I give them a makeover and invite them to my party. It gets them to smile every time." Freddie explained. "Honestly I'd join the team on Queer Eye if I wasn't so busy with the Royal Ballet and my art exhibits. Would you like a makeover, Roger? I can assure you I'm really good at giving makeovers. I applied to be on the makeup artist team for Rupaul's Drag Race. The only reason I didn't get the job was because they were looking for people who have met their soulmate and can see in color. Miami offered to sue on my behalf, but I would never want to sue such an icon. It doesn't matter anyway. I find there's a lot you can do with makeup in the shades of black, white and grey just like all my artwork."

"You really think a makeover that I won't be able to see will make me feel better?" I gave it some thought and then shrugged. "Alright yeah. What do I have to lose?"

"Yay!" Freddie cheered. "I'm going to make you look gorgeous and fierce like Elizabeth Taylor...Wait a minute. Your last name is Taylor isn't it? I'm calling you Liz! Liz Taylor. Yes. I like that."

Ah, the notorious Freddie nickname Deaky promised. "I suppose it's better than being called Taylor Swift." I agreed.

Freddie chortled at my remark as he began to apply eyeliner on my pretty but pointless eyes. He sang softly to himself as he worked. I was stunned by the depth of his voice even when just singing a simple tune. "You have a really good singing voice. You're a man of many talents, Freddie."

"Me? A singer? Don't be ridiculous, darling. I'm much too shy for that. When I dance, I have an ensemble alongside me. If I were to be onstage or singing a solo alone, my stage freight would get the best of me. Besides, I'm nothing too special. I just have a passion for performing and art and I do whatever it takes to make people happy. I'm an entertainer. I give the people what they want. They don't want to hear me sing. They want to see me dance and look at my art work."

"Well some people can't watch you dance or see your art work, and you'd make them happy by singing." I pointed out.

"Hold still, Liz," he instructed, "I'm going to get liner smudges under your eyes and you don't want that."

"You'd make me very happy." I continued. "I love music. I can't seem to really enjoy anything else in life."

"Music is wonderful. It's a universal language." Freddie agreed. "You should hear Brian play guitar sometime. He's really good. If he had listened to me and pursued it instead of his PhD in astrophysics, he could've been the next Jimi Hendrix. But we're still very proud of him. He's Dr. Brian May, author of many fascinating books on the cosmos."

"Are they available in braille?" I asked. Maybe I could familiarize myself with Brian's work before I met him. That way we could have more things to talk about besides music and animals.

"Darling, no one ever bothers to read them." Freddie said bluntly. "Miami tried to read one of them, but it kept putting him to sleep. He had to stop 100 pages in. And he's used to reading boring legal documents and cases. Of course, Miami lies right to Brian's face and tells him how compelling space dust is and how he looks forward to reading all of Brian's publications. Deaky does the same thing although knowing Deaky, he may have actually gotten through at least one or two of the books. I'm the only one who tells Brian the truth. I'm very, very proud of him and he's the smartest person I know, but no matter how much I love him, I'm not going to read hundreds of pages on something I'll never understand."

"Honesty is a good quality." I stated.

"A wonderful quality indeed. Miami spoils us rotten and lets us get away with almost anything, but we're never allowed to lie to him. That's the one thing he won't stand for. He taught us to always tell the truth even though he lied about reading and enjoying Brian's books. Well, Deaky broke that rule too when he didn't tell us you were blind, but that was to make you feel better and more comfortable around us and it wasn't an outright lie." Freddie rambled. For someone who claimed to be shy, he sure did have a lot to say. "Miami is the greatest dad I could ever ask for and I love him with all my heart, but of all the advice he's given to me over the years, the one thing that seems to stick with me is what my real Papa used to tell me. Good thoughts, good words, good deeds. I hope I'm living up to that adage and he's proud of the man I've become."

"What happened to your biological parents?" I inquired.

"They died." he said flatly.

I shouldn't have asked. It was too personal of a question. This encounter was supposed to make me feel better not have Freddie revisit the ghosts of his past. "I'm sorry." I murmured.

"Don't be sorry, dear. It's not your fault. You had nothing to do with it. The only person responsible is the fucking piece of shit who opened fire on them."

"They were shot?" I cried. That was even more horrible than what I had imagined. Poor Freddie. No one should have to go through that kind of trauma. Now I understood why Deaky had gone quiet and Miami had reprimanded Freddie when he made the joke about getting robbed earlier.

"We were at an ice cream parlor. I was around three or four years old and just wanted my ice cream. I didn't understand what really happened until I was much older, but a man came in with a gun....and....there were all these loud bangs...Papa held me so he could shield me. He saved my life. I was the only survivor."

So much for making me feel better. I was in tears again. "That's awful. Why the fuck would some sicko shoot up an ice cream parlor? Children and families go there to have fun. That's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard. I'm so, so sorry Freddie. I don't even know what to say."

"The gunman's motivation was pure evil and hatred. He chose that spot specifically because our neighborhood was primarily Parsi. The local ice cream parlor was a family run business started by an Iranian couple. That's why he did it. He couldn't stand people who were different than him. You'd think in a world where more than half the population is color blind, ethnicity shouldn't matter, but hate crimes like this happen all the damn time. It's fucking sick. I'm just happy that when the police arrived, they shot that motherfucker on sight so he couldn't hurt anyone else. I hope he's rotting in hell right now for what he did...the lives he took"

I could hear Freddie sobbing really hard, and I didn't know how to console him. I tried my best, giving him a hug and repeatedly telling him how sorry I was. We both wept until the tears ran dry. Then Freddie washed both of makeup off because it was soiled by the tears.

"It's healthy to get the emotions out and not keep them bottled in." I told him. "But always remember when you're feeling sad that every night's a party at Melina's mansion."

That got Freddie to laugh and he hugged me again. "Thank you for entering my life, Liz. Deaky's right to keep you around as a best friend."

It's a hard life, but having dear friends can make living more worthwhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes! I did not mean for this chapter to get so real and so angsty. Next chapter will be better as we join Roger, Deaky, and Freddie on their trip to the flower shop. And you'll never guess the florist who catches Freddie's eye....


	3. No Bed of Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is in the air when Freddie meets a special someone at the flower shop, and Roger receives a phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for continuing to read and leave such lovely comments! I'm having fun with this story. It's more grounded in reality than some of my other fantasy stuff so it's refreshing. Don't worry I'll be getting back to Four Magical Misfits soon enough. I have several cute one-shots planned. At the moment my brain is kinda scattered with a whole bunch of ideas including this one. Also school's still a thing but I'll be getting off for Thanksgiving break in about 2 weeks. Anyway Jimmercury arrives in this chapter so I hope you like it!!!
> 
> Also there's some angst in this chapter and a very minor SPOILER for the movie Joker so be aware.

"So let me get this straight. You have perfect vision. You're a world traveler because you tour twice a year with the Royal Ballet. But you never bothered learning how to drive? That's a crime against humanity!" I exclaimed.

"Oooh! I love that game." Freddie proclaimed. "I always try to make the dirtiest sentences with my cards."

"No, not Cards Against Humanity, a crime against humanity." I clarified. "Why don't you know how to drive, Freddie? That is inexcusable!"

"Leave him alone, Rog. Uber exists for a reason and it's better for the environment if he doesn't drive." Deaky said. "And he always has me, Brian, or Miami to drive him around if needed."

"Being a passenger is just so much more fun. I get to kick back and relax. I can even control the radio." Freddie said. I heard him fumble with the digitalized buttons on the dashboard on Deaky's dashboard. Unfortunately he had a newer car model so the radio was digitalized, and screens didn't translate to braille. It didn't matter. Sitting in the backseat with Ringo, I didn't have access to the radio anyway. I cringed when I heard a soprano voice singing in French. "What the hell is that?"

"That, my dear, is WWTLF Satellite Radio. It's a station that only plays opera all day long. Isn't it absolutely wonderful?" Freddie squealed.

"Deaky, can I please sit shotgun on the ride back?" I begged.

"Oh relax, Roger! We're almost to the flower shop. Believe me, you'd much rather hear Carmen than Freddie whining about not getting his way."

"Why does everyone keep accusing me of whining? Is it because I have a taste for fine wines?"

"No, it's because you're literally whining right now." I replied making Deaky laugh.

"I am not whining! If anything, you're whining!" Freddie protested.

"Children, behave yourselves or else I'll turn this car right around and we'll go back home!" Deaky threatened.

"Ahh, you are so cute when you try to be the responsible one!" Freddie cooed. "Leave that shit to Brian. You're better off as the cute one. After all, I can't have my own baby parenting me. What would the neighbors think?"

"What neighbors? What are you even talking about?" Deaky laughed. "You're so weird, Freddie."

"And you know you love me, darling."

"Yeah, I love you." John replied.

"I love you too, my little cream puff."

The volume on the opera increased and I assumed Freddie buttered John enough to give himself some leeway on how loud he could blast the radio. If it were a rock station, I'd be on board all the way, but opera wasn't my cup of tea. Thankfully, we arrived at our destination soon enough. Freddie continued to hum the song from Carmen to himself as we got out of the car.

"It's a revolving door." Deaky informed me. "Can you and Ringo time it right or do you want me to go through with you to help?"

"That's the spinny door thing, right? I think I've done that before once or twice. I'll be fine." I gave Ringo a treat from my pocket for behaving so well in the car. "Let's do this, buddy!" I let the dog take the lead, waiting for him to travel forward to know when it was safe. I stumbled a bit when he stopped in front of me, but then followed him out without any other issues. "Good boy, Ringo! We did it! Great job!" I applauded. In my pathetic dark world, I considered something as simple as getting through a special door to be a victory worthy of praise for both of us.

The scent of fresh flowers greeted me the moment I entered and had a chance to readjust myself from the revolving doors ordeal. Not too many footsteps told me it wasn't very crowded.Another sound caught me off guard. It was a soft rustling. Ringo growled over the pitter patter of four additional paws. Did someone else bring their dog here?

"Yelp was right. This is the biggest flower shop in all of London, and the bigger the better I always say!" Freddie proclaimed. "Okay, darlings. Let's each pick out our favorite bouquet and meet back here to compare our results. Does that sound like a good strategy for--OH MY GOD! THERE'S A CAT AND HE"S ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS!" A frightened meow followed by the sound of the cat scampering away told me why Ringo was so upset.

"Oh no! I scared the poor darling away. I'm so sorry, kitty, kitty! Come back! I just want to love you!" 

"Who would let a cat run around a flower shop?" Deaky wondered.

"You mean who _wouldn't_ let their cat play here? Cats make everything better." Freddie remarked.

"Deaky's right. It doesn't seem like a good idea. The cat could trample the flowers or rip them apart with his claws or mistake a planter for a litter-box." I said.

Footsteps cued me in that someone was running toward us. "I'm so sorry about that! This is very embarrassing." A man with an Irish accent stammered. "Romeo's usually a good boy and doesn't leave the flat while I'm working. This is the first time he's ever snuck downstairs. Romeo! Come here!"

"Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" Freddie mocked as the man presumably collected his cat.

"This is very unprofessional of me. I'm terribly sorry. I'll give you three a discount on your flowers. Let me just get this fussy little guy back upstairs to my flat and I'll be right back down to help you." The Irish man said. "I hope my cat didn't bother your service dog too much, sir."

"No, Ringo's cool." I replied, giving the dog a pet to calm him down. "So there's a flat upstairs? Are you one of those people who lives directly upstairs from their business? I've always wondered what that's like."

"Aye." He said. "It's very convenient. I couldn't see any downfalls until today when my cat got loose and started to harass my customers."

"Don't be ridiculous! Romeo would never harass us, darling! Just look at that cute little furry face. He can't do any harm as far as I'm concerned. Cats can get away with murder I swear. Just ask my newest kitten, Delilah. What a diva! That sweetheart can pee all over my chippendale suite and I can never stay mad at her."

"Yes cats are very adorable, but it's not a good idea to let Romeo roam around the shop. I'm going to put him back. When you get to the register and are ready to fill out your order form to purchase your flowers, just ask for Jim and I'll give you your discount."

"No wonder they got such good Yelp reviews." Deaky commented as Jim walked away. "Jim seems really nice and knows how to deal with customers."

"I don't know what's more appealing, the cute cat, or the handsome man holding him." Freddie purred.

"So how many bouquets are we going to get?" I asked.

"All of them." Freddie said abruptly. "Let's buy out this entire bloody store! Deaky deserves all the flowers at his engagement party, and Jim deserves all the money!"

"Freddie, we have a budget!" Deaky cried.

"Yes, but what about Jim? He needs the support. It's not easy being a single parent. Just ask Miami."

"How do you know he's single?" I asked assuming he meant Romeo as Jim's 'son'.

"I didn't see a ring. That's single enough for me. Do you think I should invite him as my date to the wedding?"

"You two literally just met. You don't even know his last name or anything about him." I pointed out.

"Nonsense. I know he runs a flower business. He lives in a flat upstairs. He loves cats. He's super dreamy. He has a sexy Irish accent. And his last name will soon be Mercury if he's not careful." Freddie swooned.

"Slow down, Freddie." Deaky warned.

"Oh, I want to buy all of these roses from him, and make a big bed of roses for us to lay in together!" Freddie shouted.

"Shush, Fred!" Deaky hissed. "People are starting to stare...Oh! Nothing to see here, folks. Don't worry. There'll be no bed of roses and absolutely no laying in that bed of roses. Carry on, carry on!"

"Then I'm going to take him on a pleasure cruise, just the two of us." Freddie continued too smitten to notice people watching us. Well, according to Deaky people were watching us. I had no way of knowing.

Freddie continued to ramble about the mad feelings he was catching. "I feel like dancing in the rain! Can I have a volunteer?"

"What a buck toothed idiot!" I heard someone murmur. That wasn't nice at all! Sight was a gift and you shouldn't use it to point out people's physical flaws. Deaky was trying to get Freddie to stop making such a spectacle by boldly declaring his feelings in public. Neither noticed that my fists clenched and I boldly walked toward the sound of the insulting voice.

"That's my friend you're talking about. You have no right to say that about him!" I shouted.

"Really, dude? If you're gonna confront me on your freaky friend's behalf, then at least look me in the eye when you do it!" The man laughed. "And what I said was true. He's ranting and raving about clementines, and look at him dancing around like one of those gay male ballerinas in tights and leotards."

I punched nothing but air even though I was aiming for this asshole's face. "Seems like you've also got mental problems." He snickered, and I heard him walk away out the revolving door.

"Yeah you better run you son of a bitch!" I shouted trying to sound tough.

"Roger, what are you doing?" I jumped when I felt Deaky's hands on my shoulders pulling me back. "That guy was like a foot taller than you. You're lucky he didn't kick your ass."

"But he insulted Freddie." I said.

"I heard what he said, dear." Freddie seemed to be coming down from euphoria. "And it's true I am a gay male ballerina and I do wear tights and leotards when I perform. The rest is just sticks and stones. I've heard Bucky and freak and all those slurs my whole life. It's nothing new. As far as I'm concerned, that bastard is just jealous that I've found the love of my life. I'm so fucking giddy right now nothing can lower my spirits."

"Does he always get like this when he has a crush?" I asked.

"Only when his crush has a cat." Deaky replied.

"I'm so happy that I'm not on tour this summer so I can spend time with my cats and start up a romance with my new sweetheart Jim."

"He's not your sweetheart yet, Freddie. You need to get to know him and ask him out on a date first. See if he's interested. We don't even know if he's gay." John said.

"Of course he's gay, darling, and I know he's interested. He couldn't take his eyes off of me." There was no way to verify if that was true, but from their brief interaction, Jim only seemed interested in rescuing Romeo.

"I just don't want to see you getting hurt again like with all your past relationships." Deaky said. "I mean look what happens when you rush into things too quickly. Mary, Paul, and most recently Joe."

"I had to break up with Mary because I was cheating on her with _men. _So I hurt her, not the other way around. I had no business being with a woman to begin with. That was my fault for pretending to be straight before I came to terms with my sexuality and she deserves better. Paul on the other hand was a despicable fruit fly and I was so blinded by his charisma that I let him hurt and abuse me, but that's over with and he's out of my life forever. As for Joe, I don't blame him for what happened between us. He found his soulmate. What was I supposed to do? And now that I found my Jim, I'm over it." Freddie summed up. "Now help me come up with a good pick up line. What should I say when Jim comes back? Maybe I should ask him about the size of his cock? That seems to work most of the time."

I was a horrible wingman and had no dating experience, but even I knew better than that approach. John's silence told me he was likely horrified by Freddie's idea. "Why don't you leave your number when you fill out the order form for the flowers?" I suggested instead.

"Oh yes." Deaky agreed. "Listen to Rog, Freddie. He's good at these things. He hooked me up with Ronnie."

"But that's so boring." Freddie complained. "I think I'm much better off asking him how big his cock is. Oh shit! He's coming back. I've gotta be cool, relax."

"Sorry again for the mishap with Romeo." Jim apologized. "I realized I forgot to give you an order form to fill out. Here." The sound of paper waving told me he was presenting the form in Freddie's direction rather than John's. Huh. Perhaps I was wrong and Jim was interested.

"How big is your--Ow!" I stepped on Freddie's foot, surprised I was able to find it. I was not about to let Freddie ruin his chances. "That's very nice of you, Jim. Give the form to Freddie please." I instructed.

"But we don't need a form. We already have one. I picked it up at the front of the store by the sign that says please take order form before purchase." Freddie dismissed "Now, darling, let me ask you, how big is your--"

"--Take the fucking form, Freddie!" I shouted.

"So bossy." He scoffed, but his tone completely changed when he addressed the Irish man again. "Thank you, Jim, my darling. I appreciate you going out of your way to get us an order form." I heard the paper crinkle as Freddie took it from Jim. "If you don't mind, I'd really like to know big is your—"

Then Jim gasped thankfully interrupting Freddie again. "Oh my God!" Jim's stunned voice was barely above a whisper.

"Now please," Freddie all but begged, "I need to know, my dear. How big is your**—**THOSE ROSES ARE RED! I SEE COLOR!!!"

Their hands much have touched when Freddie took the form. Jim and Freddie were soulmates! This was such a delightful surprise and I was very excited for them. There was no mistaking what was happening when I heard the smooch and the applause coming from Deaky and other onlookers. The only question was who initiated the kiss. I'd put my money on Freddie.

"Wow!" Jim exhaled. "Um...I don't know what to say."

"Look at that! Your blush. Your face is completely pink and I can distinguish the shade. It's more adorable than I ever could have imagined." Freddie laughed.

"Congratulations!" Deaky exclaimed. "I can't believe it! You found your soulmate!"

"I did. I really did!" Freddie sniffled, "And there's something I've always wanted to do." I heard him shift his position, but I doubted it was to get down on one knee as he had promised. That was a joke. It was too sudden for a proposal. Freddie and Jim just met.

"What are you doing?" Jim cried.

"Darling." When Freddie spoke his voice now came from a spot closer to the ground like he was crouched on one knee. What the hell was that crazy man thinking? "I was born to love you with every single beat of my heart. So take a chance with me. Let me romance with you. I'm caught in a dream and my dream's come true. It's so hard believe this is happening to me!...I'm sorry Jim, I've completely lost my train of thought looking up at you. The point is I want to ask you--"

"--I swear if you ask how big his cock is I'll slap you." I interjected.

"Liz, darling! That's outrageous! How could you be so crude?"

"Freddie, get up." Jim said.

"What? No! Is it because of Roger? Because I can assure you that I had no intentions of asking about your size until the second date." Freddie lied.

"I don't want you to propose, at least not yet." Jim said. "We literally just met. I know we're soulmates and I like you, but isn't this a bit too much?"

"Well then I _propose_ we go on our first date. I'll pick you up tonight at 6:30 and I'll be sure to buy you flowers on the way to your flat because that's a given. Then we'll go out for dinner and a movie. Classic first date. I'll have you wined and dined and falling in love before you know it, darling."

"Joker looks good. Do you wanna see that?" Jim offered.

"Oh no, dear. That's much too scary for me. No. We should see Judy. It's all about Judy Garland."

"I've seen Wizard of Oz." Jim replied. "She was in that one, right?"

"You're so cute. I love you already. It's a date! I'll see you tonight." When I heard the second smooch, I knew that they were meant for one another.

"Alright!" Deaky cleared his throat. "That's enough! Save it for tonight! We don't need to see this!"

"It would be nice to see it." I sighed once again reminded that I could only imagine the faces of the happy couple planning their first date.

***

Deaky and I were having our own movie night. We sat on the couch eating popcorn together as the movie played with audio enhancements for the visually impaired. I wasn't a fan of movies even with the modifications added, but I was always up for popcorn and spending a relaxing evening with my best friend.

***** _Lt. Dan throws Forrest's ice cream into the bedpan.* *The nurse draws a curtain revealing Lt. Dan has lost his legs in the war*_

I spit out the popcorn. "What the fuck is with this movie? You said it was a comedy."

"It is...sort of. I swear it's a lot less depressing without the audio narration. I still can't believe you've never seen it before. Forrest Gump is a classic! It even has its own restaurant chain."Deaky said.

"Well I guess I'd rather watch this than that movie on Judy Garland." I said in between bites of popcorn. "Do you think Freddie and Jim are having a good time on their date?"

"I think they're having the time of their lives! Freddie gets crazy and over-the-top a lot, but this time was different. You can tell it's a kind of magic. There's something special about Jim. He'll treat Freddie the way he deserves. I'm so excited for them. I know Jim kind of rejected Freddie's proposal but I have a feeling that there will be another wedding on the horizon very soon." Deaky said.

"I hope so." I agreed.

A good thing about being blind is I can fall asleep almost anywhere and if I'm super tired I can even doze off with my eyes open. That was probably what happened now because one moment, Forrest was talking about getting shot in the ass—excuse me buttocks, and then suddenly he had a son. It was like I blacked out during a large chunk of the movie, but that was fine with me. I was sleepy. Flower shopping took up a lot of energy believe it or not. My days typically aren't very stimulating. I became more alert when someone knocked on the door.

"I've seen this movie many times. You keep watching. I'll answer the door." Deaky said.

Hoping he wouldn't notice, I turned off the TV. Deaky swore he'd hide the braille remote if I didn't stop pranking him by turning on the TV in the middle of the night and telling him the flat was haunted. For now I still had access to the remote and my favorite button: the on/off button.

Ringo abruptly woke from his nap and growled gathering my attention. What if another robber was at the door? "Deaky, don't—" It was too late. I heard the door swing open.

"Freddie? What are you doing here?" I let out a sigh of relief when Deaky greeted his brother. _Meow. Meow. _And apparently several cats. "Be good, Ringo." I whispered.

"The cats wanted a sleepover with their favorite cream puff." Freddie announced.

"What's really going on?" Deaky pushed. "Did the date not go well?"

"Oh no the date was absolutely perfect! Jim is my Prince Charming, my knight in shining armor. I just want to cuddle with that sweetheart all day long."

"Then why are you here and not getting laid?" I asked bluntly.

"Oh hello, Roger, dear. Why are you sitting all alone in the dark? Let's turn on some light. In fact let's turn on all the lights. I don't want there to be any darkness in this flat, not even a speck."

"It'll still be dark to me. What difference does it make?"

"Oh don't guilt me into saying it." Freddie wailed.

"Saying what?" Deaky and I asked.

"That I'm scared." Freddie whispered. _Meow. _"That's right Delilah. Your papa is a big scaredy cat just like you."

"Scared of what?" I inquired

"Committing toJim?"Deaky wondered.

"No, don't be ridiculous. I love Jim. He's my soulmate. I'd marry him on the spot if he'd let me but we agreed to a second date instead. I'm scared because...oh this is super embarrassing. The tickets for Judy were all sold out and we had to see Joker instead. After kissing Jim good night and leaving him off at his flat, I was terrified of being alone after watching such a grisly film. When I got home and told the cats about the movie, they got scared with me and now I'm here. So can we stay the night?"

"Of course you can crash here." Deaky said. "Make yourself at home. Roger, do you mind getting up so I can unfold the sofa bed?"

"This is one of those sofas that turns into a bed?" I gasped. "How have I lived here so long and not have known that?"

"Beats me." Deaky laughed as I got up. I heard the clicks of Freddie going around the two bedroom flat turning on all the lamps and light switches. For a moment I pretended I could see the light but it only made me sad.

"Freddie, our electricity bill is going to sky rocket. How bloody scary could that movie have been?" Deaky cried.

"I'm just glad you didn't see it, my innocent baby cream puff. It's rated R for good reason."

"Christ! I'm an adult." Deaky exclaimed. "I can get into R rated movies. You know I love scary movies anyway."

"Yeah well at least you're not as bad as Brian threatening to put on the movie Clockwork Orange if I annoy you too much." Freddie remarked.

"I might try that trick sometime. Brian's smart and knows how to get you to leave a room." John sassed.

"I've never seen the movie for Clockwork Orange, but it's my favorite book. Can we put it on?" I asked eagerly. If I was going to watch a movie it might as well be based on a book that I loved.

"It's Brian's favorite book too. Not his favorite movie though. He likes Back to the Future. Have you ever seen that one, Roger? It might be more appropriate for our present company." I didn't need to see to know that John was gesturing to Freddie.

"Back to the Future? That's the one about the boy and his wacky scientist friend who time travel, right? Huh. I wouldn't have pegged Brian as someone who'd like science fiction stuff considering he's an actual scientist." I remarked.

"Well according to Brian time travel is theoretically possible. Einstein has a theory on it." Deaky elaborated.

"Yeah Brian explained it to us in the most traumatizing way possible." Freddie said. "Basically, imagine if you travel back in time and spend a few days in the past. Then when you come home, you realize you haven't been gone for just a few days, but hundreds of years have passed and everyone you know and love is dead."

"Is that what would happen if you actually time traveled?" I asked.

"Beats me. You'll have to ask Brimi. He explains it better. All I know is that it was the worst thing he could tell us while we were grieving over the loss of our dear cat, Pixie." Freddie recalled.

"I miss Pixie. She was the only one of the cats who didn't try to eat my pet goldfish." Deaky sighed.

"Oh sweet Pixie." Freddie reminisced. "We all miss her, darling. Especially Brian. That was why he was looking into time travel to begin with, remember? He wanted to go back in time and see her again."

"And so naturally he did what any thirteen year old kid would do and spend his summer vacation in the library researching time dilation." Deaky laughed.

"What a nerd!" Freddie proclaimed.

"Freddie!" John scolded. "I told you, we don't call him that. It's mean. We call him a smartypants. It has a better connotation than nerd."

"He's not here, darling. He doesn't have to know. You won't tell, right Roger?" 

I still hadn't even met Brian yet, and I wouldn't defy Freddie's trust. It was great having another friend who was so kind to me. I shook my head to assure him his secret was safe with me. "Good." Freddie said. "Now let's refill that popcorn bowl and put on a movie that won't make me scream or cry."

Ringo whimpered and nudged my knee as I reached for the remote. "Oh! You probably wanna go for a walk, don't you?" The dog panted in confirmation. "Alright."

"Be careful, darling, it's dark out." Freddie warned.

"Believe me I know." I murmured.

As I left the flat for our evening walk, I heard Freddie remark. "Cats are so much better. They're no at as needy and clingy."

"Don't listen to him, buddy." I told Ringo. "You're the best pet ever!"

We only stepped out for a few minutes so Ringo could do his business and I could get some fresh air before bedtime. When I returned, I found that Freddie was crying. Oh no! What could have happened in such a quick amount of time?

"It's alright, Freddie. At least you were able to hold yourself together so you didn't cry in front of Jim." Deaky consoled him.

"I know darling," Freddie wheezed, "it's just that...when the Joker's clown follower shot Bruce Wayne's parents in front of him...it was so similar to what happened to me."

No wonder Freddie was unsettled by the movie. It was more triggering than it was disturbing. I felt bad for him. Unsure of what to do, I let Deaky continue to care for him and faked a yawn. Pretending like I couldn't hear Freddie's sobs I announced. "I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Rog!" Deaky called.

"Night, Liz!" Freddie failed to keep his voice steady. Poor guy. I didn't know what I could do to cheer him up. Deaky was probably better equipped at the job anyway.

On my way to my bedroom, I heard John's phone ringing. It was probably left in his room to charge. I decided to get it for him. When I reached down to pick up the phone, my fingers accidentally slid across the metallic glass. The ringing stopped abruptly.

"Hello?" A voice came from the speaker. "John, are you there?"

"Shit!" Well it looked like I was officially capable of answering an iPhone even it was by mistake. Take that Grandma!

"Deaky?" The voice gasped at my vulgar language assuming it was polite John on the other end.

"No, um, I accidentally answered his phone." I told the stranger.

"Yeah. That makes more sense. You sound different, Veronica. Do you have a cold or something?"

"What? No! God! Is my voice really that feminine? I'm not Ronnie. I'd rather you mistake me for Deaky. I'm Roger." I cried.

"Roger? John's flatmate?"

Huh, so this person knew about me. Who could he be? "Yeah." I confirmed my identity. "Who are you?"

"I'm Brian, John's older brother."

"Ah, so you're the famous Dr. Brian May probably inventing a time machine at NASA right now."

"If we were working that, I doubt I'd have the clearance to tell you something so top secret, especially not over the phone."I had no clue if Brian was joking or not. "I hope Deaky only has good things to say about me because he's only had good things to say about you."

"Deaky thinks you're brilliant. It's that rotter Freddie you have to watch our for. You know he called you a nerd earlier." Wait did I just snitch? Oh well my admittance got Brian to laugh and his laugh was like harmonious chimes, one of the most beautiful sounds.

"I've heard worse from Freddie over the years. I'll take nerd as a compliment. It's all in good fun. We like to tease each other because that's what brothers do. Except Deaky, we don't tease or prank him. He's much too fragile for any of that."

"Deaks is a bean." I agreed.

"Thank you for taking such good care of him. Believe me, I was hesitant to accept this job offer. Even though working for NASA is a dream come true I'm so far from home. And with Freddie touring with the royal ballet, nobody wouldbe there for little Deaky. I'm so glad he has someone. You're a saint, Roger."

"I'm no saint." I dismissed.

"Freddie, Miami and I beg to differ after all the wonderful things Deaky's boasted about you. John has always been very bashful and was never good at making friends. We never thought he'd find a best mate outside of me and Fred of course. But here you are!" Brian proclaimed.

I couldn't help but smile. It felt good to be appreciated for once. "So tell me what it's like to work for NASA. It must be very exciting."

"Oh it is! Our team is working on building a satellite that we hope to launch by next year to land on Mars."

"Really? That's so cool!" I exclaimed.

"I just wish I could see the red in the red planet especially if our satellite is able to capture new footage. It's so unfair that the universe is full of color that's just out of my reach. But I can't even find a date to bring to John's wedding let alone my soulmate." Brian sighed.

"Isn't space completely dark?" I asked. It was why I thought the two of us could relate. Brian devoted his life to studying and exploring a place that was pitch black just like my world.

"Of course not, silly. Unless you come across a void, there are stars and planets and cosmic particles scattered all throughout the Milky Way. It's really quite beautiful. I've obviously never been to space, but the astronauts I work with all agree that the sight of planet earth from a spacecraft is breathtaking and even life changing. Images don't seem to do it justice but not many people are lucky enough to experience it in real life, so we have to settle with these satellite photos. That's why I'm so eager with this latest Mars satellite project to see if we can capture more footage and make it available for the public to see and become inspired. As the saying goes, a picture's worth a thousand words."

Tears streamed down my cheeks. "I want to see so fucking bad." I whispered.

"Well there are plenty of pictures up on Google that you can easily find. You can start there. Most people do." Brian said.

I had to tell him. The lie wouldn't last forever anyway. He'd find out about my disability when we meet in person. "Brian, if I tell you something, will you swear that you'll keep in mind everything Deaky told you about me, and you won't think any less of me or treat me any differently?"

"Don't tell me you're the Zodiac killer." Brian quipped.

"What? No. I'm being serious. I'm not the Zodiac Killer. I just...I-I'm blind."

The line went silent and I cursed at myself. Now things between us would be awkward.

"How bad is it? Legal blindness is a range. Can you make out shapes and silhouettes? Or are you completely blind?" Brian didn't ask with a judgemental tone. He sounded like he genuinely wanted to know and learn more about me.

"I can't see anything. It's all black." I replied.

"Oh, Roger, I had no idea. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine. Were you born blind?"

"I've been this way since I was two. I'm used to it and I don't want your sympathy."

"You brave soul. In the end I believe it's what's in your heart that matters most, and clearly you have a beautiful heart to be so compassionate toward John. You may not know it but your friendship really made a difference in his life, Roger." Brian said sincerely. "I'd love to get to know you better. I wish we could meet in person at the engagement party, but we're gonna have to wait until the wedding unless you can make it out to Cape Canaveral anytime soon."

"Why can't you come to the engagement party? I was looking forward to meeting you there."

"Well that's the reason why I called. I wanted to tell John first but you ought to know. Please don't freak out, okay? I'm fine at the moment, but I've been in the hospital for the past few days. I think it might be another couple days till I'm discharged."

"WHAT?" I shrieked. Staying more than one or two nights at a hospital meant you were suffering from something serious.

"Ow! Bloody hell, Rog, you want me to go deaf?" Brian cried.

"Well it's your fault for laying that bombshell on me. What happened? Are you okay? Please don't tell me you're dying. I don't want you to die, Brimi. I want a chance to meet you and become your friend. I can't do that if you're six feet under."

"I told you not to freak out!Like I said I'm fine now.I've just had some unfortunate luck." He replied.

"Oh no!" My mind went to the worst places. "Did you get hit by a car? Don't blame the car, blame the driver!"

"Goodness, what is wrong with you, Roger! Will you let me explain please?" Brian exclaimed. "The trouble started about a month or two ago when the Royal Ballet was in town so I got to meet up with Freddie. We went out for a few drinks, and he knows I don't handle my alcohol well. So he took advantage of my inebriated state and dared me to get a tattoo of a badger on my back knowing I'd regret it while sober. Long story short, the needle was infected and I developed hepatitis."

"That's horrible! You don't deserve that. For what it's worth I bet the tattoo looks really cute on your back. John says badgers are cute anyway. I wouldn't know." I said trying to make him feel better.

"They are cute. Such adorable sweet creatures. It's so painful to even consider the inhumane badger cull that's going on. But while I'm not busy with NASA, or laying in a hospital bed recovering, I'm doing what I can to help them."Brian said.

"I hope you really are feeling better and can get out of the hospital soon. Hospitals are so cold and sterile. With all the beeping and the smells. I hate being there for whatever reason." I shuddered. "And you're so far from home. Are you alone?" Crap! Probably not the best thing to say to make him feel better.

"It hasn't been too bad." Brian assured me. "Until now I've been pretty out of it, slipping in and out of consciousness, so I couldn't really tell what was going on. It was nice though because I was able to see in color. Even if it was just hallucinations, I appreciated it."

"I know what you mean. I dream in color. It's so cool to finally see even though I know none of it's real when I wake up." I smiled to myself reflecting on those rare nights when I would see something in front of me in my dreams sometimes even in bright color.

"Anyway, I've been meaning to call to let everyone know what happened, but I've just been so dazed. I'm finally feeling more with it now, and it should be only uphill from here." Brian said. "I wanted to let John know that I probably won't be well enough to make it to the engagement party. He'll be disappointed."

"John won't be disappointed. He'll just want you to get better even if it means skipping the engagement party. He's in the other room. Freddie's here too. Do you want me to put them on?" Brian likely wanted to speak to his brothers and not me. After all, he called for John and was not expecting me to answer.

"Well hang on. I know it's late in your timezone, but if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to you some more. Let me tell you, Roger, having this conversation with you is probably the first time I've smiled since I fell ill. Tell me more about those color dreams of yours. I also dream in color from time to time. It's rare but it's so beautiful when it happens. Always something to cherish"

And the next thing I knew, we were on the phone for hours chatting about nearly anything and everything from the possibility of life on other planets to the Paul McCartney is dead conspiracy theory and everything in between. Brian was so smart it blew my mind. I questioned how someone could have so much knowledge. He seemed to know all the secrets of the universe.

"...And so I tuned my drums to get a sound more like Keith Moon from the Who and--"

"--You can tune drums?"

Okay, Brian clearly didn't know everything. I was left flabbergasted. I thought that was common knowledge. "Of course you can tune drums. How did you not know that? It's just like any other instrument. Although you don't have to tune them as often as guitars. I'm sure you're tuning your Special a lot. I still can't get over that your dad built you a guitar from scratch and you were able to recreate it in mass."

"None of them are as near and dear to me as the original my father left behind for me before he went off to war." Brian said.

"He died a hero." I said firmly. "He was a brave man."

"I wish I got a chance to meet him before he died. He was supposed to come back in time to celebrate my first birthday. At least I can remember my mom a bit. She was very loving and gentle from what I can recall. It's a shame she had to die too, but at least she was reunited with my father." He sighed.

"What happened to her?" I was afraid to ask.

"Lung cancer." Brian replied flatly. "I have trouble remembering much before my first night at the orphanage. I cried so hard and kept asking for my mom. The women in charge of our ward at the orphanage didn't bother to sugarcoat her death. They told me outright she was gone and would never come back. And the other kids were cruel too. They made fun of my hair. My mom used to straighten it for me when I was too young to do it myself, so without her, it got all poofy and the kids would call me Poodle Puff. Then they found their new target when Freddie arrived and they mocked his teeth and made him cry as soon as he got there. I found him hiding under my bed sobbing and I knew better than to believe it was a game of hide and seek. So I took the pillows and blankets off the beds and made a fort and invited him inside to make him feel better. We sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star as loudly and obnoxiously as we could to dissuade the other kids from trying to invade our top secret fort. But eventually the heads of the ward made us take it apart and remake our beds properly. After I met Freddie, things became more bearable."

"At the school I went to, the kids were much nicer, but I think it's because none of them could see. I probably would have faced some sort of cruel nickname and taunting if I was visible to them." I explained. "I'm just so glad everything worked out for you Freddie and John. I know saying that doesn't make up for the trauma you had to go through, but it seems like you three are all making the most out of your lives and living your dreams. You're a real rocket scientist and you help animals in your spare time. That's so incredible! I'd love to read your books sometime, but the braille selection at the library where I work is very limited."

"What about you, Roger? Don't you have any dreams or ambitions? You deserve to seek them out if you do." Brian said.

I was quiet for a moment, considering his words. No one ever encouraged me to achieve anything. Even John just assumed I was content working at the library. There was no other occupation I was capable of doing. Still, one can dream. "I'm gonna say something really dumb. I haven't told this to anyone, but you should know."

"Roger, tell me anything, please." Brian prompted. He was so willing to kindly listen and I knew he wouldn't put me down. I never felt like this before, like I could be completely open and honest.

"I enjoy going to the dentist."

When Brian laughed, I knew he wasn't being mean. It was an involuntary reaction. I knew the statement was bizarre. "I swear I'm not high and I'm not insane." I assured him. "I just...I don't know how to explain it. I rarely ever go out, so when I do it's always an exciting ordeal. I love driving in the car to get somewhere. Then, at the dentist office I got to, they have these braille magazines. I can actually read them. My favorite are the ones about cars. They have braille descriptions of each image of the car so I can really picture it and learn about their engines and mechanics. Then when I'm called to see the dentists, the assistants speak to me like I'm a normal person and not a small child. They explain exactly what they're going to do to me before they do it and they let me touch the tools before they wash them and use them. I get to pick out whatever music I want while they're working and even if it hurts a little, I get to listen to my favorite songs, so that makes it worth it. Then when it's all done I get a lollipop. It's the gross sugar free kind, but I still feel really good when it's all over. Anyway, I know that sounds stupid, but if I could, I'd like to maybe be a dentist."

"No, that's not stupid at all. I wish all dentist offices were like that. Most are torturous." Brian said.

"Well the dentist I go to specializes in working with kids and people with disabilities." I clarified. "I know it's different with normal dentists. If I were able to be a dentist, I wouldn't be one of those sadists. I'd try to make the experience great for everyone, not just kids and the handicapped."

"I think you'd be the best dentist ever, Roger." Brian said. "I'd be your first patient."

"Thanks, Bri." I giggled. I was glad we were at the same disadvantage and couldn't see each other because I felt my cheeks flush. What the hell? Why was I blushing? And why the hell was I giggling? No wonder Brian mistook me for a girl when we first spoke.

"It's um pretty late." I paused as I remembered why Brian had called to begin with. The sound of snoring told me Freddie and John were likely passed out in the other room. "I can hear snoring from the other room, so if you want to talk to John or Freddie you'll have to call back in the morning. I'm so sorry for keeping you on the line for so long."

"Oh no. Don't be sorry, Rog. I enjoyed talking to you. I'm sorry I kept you up so late. I forgot about the time difference. It's probably around 2 in the morning there. You should get some sleep. I'll call John at a more reasonable hour. Maybe if I'm lucky enough, you'll answer again."

Okay, my heart definitely sped a beat. This might be too bold a move, but... "I have a special phone. It's an old school flip phone so I can't text, but the buttons are in braille so I can make calls. If you want I could give you my number. Of course you don't have to. I don't get many calls apart from my mom and sister."

"Well now you'll have one more person to add to your contact list." Brian said eagerly. "I must be someone really special if you group me alongside your mom and sister."

"It's no big deal, really." I downplayed. "I just like talking to you. And I want you to feel better."

"Believe me I'm already feeling better." He replied.

We exchanged phone numbers, but I was hesitant to say goodnight even though I was so tired. I wanted to stay on the line with him forever and ever. "So...we'll meet at the wedding?" I yawned. 

"Yes I'm looking forward to seeing you there." Brian said.

"Uh-huh. I'll see you too...I mean no, I won't, but I will...um...Goodnight, Bri. Thanks for the call."

"Of course. Anytime you want to chat again, feel free to call. Goodnight, Roggie."

Did he just call me Roggie? Once I confirmed that Brian had hung up, I squealed so loud that Ringo and the cats came running. I heard a noise from the other room and assumed I woke up Freddie and Deaky as well.

"Roger? Roger! What's the matter?" Deaky rushed to my side.

"I-I..I think I might be in love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it folks, our first taste of Maylor!!! More is on its way😉 And happy Veterans Day! Thank you to all the brave people who served.


	4. Dining at the Ritz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger attends Deaky and Ronnie's engagement party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Logic and common sense: Sleep is very important.  
Me: Hold my wine, darling, I've got a Maylor AU to write!

"Roger, isn't there anything else you can say?" Deaky exclaimed.

"What do you mean?" I asked haphazardly. My body was in the passenger seat of John's car as he drove us to the Ritz, but my mind was elsewhere. I was far away daydreaming about a certain someone who played guitar for me over the phone last night.

"Every other word out of your mouth is Brian." Deaky's words didn't seem to translate as I was preoccupied with other thoughts. "'I wish Brian could come to the engagement party. Do you think Brian's well enough to travel yet? It's a shame Brian can't come. I really wanted to meet Brian. What do you think Brian is up to? Maybe I should call Brian.'" His rambles went in one ear and out the other only catching my attention when he said my crush's name. "Look, I know he's ill and can't make it and it really sucks not having him here. Believe me I want him here just as much as you do, but I still want us to have a good time. We're celebrating my engagement. It's a big deal. So maybe don't bring up Brian so mu--"

"Oooh!" The radio stole back my attention. "Bri loves this song. He's a big Elton fan. Make it louder!"

"Never mind." Deaky murmured, and increased the volume on the car radio. I shut my eyes, listening to the words of our favorite Elton John song, and imagined Brian holding me, singing the words in my ear as we danced.

'..._I hope you don't mind _  
_That I put down in words _  
_How wonderful life is while you're in the world...'_

"I have to meet him." I sighed. "He's so wonderful."

"You'll meet him at the wedding. I promise." Deaky said. "Now let's focus on how much fun we're going to have tonight. If Freddie gets drunk enough he might sing love songs for me and Ronnie. Have you heard Freddie sing before? It's such a treat! I really wish he'd do it more often. His voice is out of this world and gives me chills each and every time. He claims he has stage freight but I think that's a lie because he's on stage all the time performing in the ballet. I think he's just self conscious about his teeth, but he needs to get over it because he's bloody fantastic. If I can't convince him to sing the surprise song I wrote for Ronnie at the wedding, I don't know what I'll do."

"Maybe Freddie will agree to sing if Brian accompanies him on his guitar." I reasoned.

"Roger, is there something going on between you and Brian? Suddenly Brian's closer with you than he is with me and Freddie. The two of you spend each and every night talking on the phone incessantly and you seem utterly obsessed with each other. Whenever Brian calls me, he just asks for you or wants to hear how you're doing. Meanwhile, you won't stop talking about him 24/7 and you're driving me mad. It's ridiculous!"

"Do you think I should call Brian? Maybe I'll let him know that we're on our way to the engagement party and how much he'll be missed." I considered.

"You two are possessed I swear. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were...No. Brian's straight. You two are just friends."

Those words I heard loud and clear. I dropped my phone in shock. I didn't care if I broke it because the damage wouldn't be as bad as my shattering heart. "What do you mean he's straight?"

"I mean he had a serious girlfriend in high school. Took her to prom and everything. He's only shown interest in women for as long as I've known him. I thought you knew that." Deaky said.

Of course the man of my dreams was straight. It had to be too good to be true. Brian didn't like me like that. We were just friends. It was a good thing Deaky told me now before I did something embarrassing. What if I had confessed my feelings? That would have been disastrous! I was just grateful to have someone as smart and compassionate and talented as Brian in my life even if we'd only be friends and nothing more.

"Oh Rog! I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I thought you knew. I didn't mean to break your heart. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you liked him that way. Please forgive me for being such a jerk." Deaky apologized.

"I told you I was in love! How could you not tip me off?" I cried.

"When did you tell me you were in love?" John asked like he couldn't remember. That was the most significant moment giving me light in this otherwise dark world. "I told you the first night I spoke to Brian. After he called me Roggie for the first time..." Oh, wasn't that spectacular? My heart fluttered at the memory. No! That nickname didn't mean Brian had feelings for me, and I had to deny my own. He wasn't gay.

"One day you'll find your soulmate." Deaky said. "And he'll be perfect for you and love you back. Brian would want that for you. I'm glad you've become such good friends though."

"I wish we could be more." I sighed. "I really do love him, Deaks. Are you sure he's 100% straight?"

"Well he hasn't had a girlfriend since Chrissie, but they were very serious. I think if Bri were gay, Freddie would have known. He has a knack for finding other gay men within his vicinity."

"His gaydar didn't work on me and he admitted it himself." I remembered. I clung to what little bits of tattered hope I had left.

"I just don't want you to get your heart broken and put Brian in an awkward position because he really does care for you even if it's not in the way you want and it would be painful for him to have to hurt you."

"It's a little late for that." I remarked.

"Here. You dropped your phone." Deaky placed my phone on my lap. "We're here. So let's go inside and have ourself a real good time."

I wiped my tears and nodded. For now I would just distract myself with thoughts relating to anything other than Brian May, the unrequited love of my life. 

***

"Roger, darling! You remember my boyfriend, Jim, the most perfect human being on the planet, right? Jim, my sweetheart, you remember my best friend Roger and his unfortunately not a cat but nonetheless cute service dog Ringo Starr?"

"Nope." Deaky blurted. "Roger is _my _best friend. Don't try to steal him."

"And how can a service dog ever be a cat? The word dog is literally in the title." I pointed out.

"Tough crowd." Freddie chuckled.

"Don't worry, love, you've already won me over." Jim said and I heard him pat Freddie's back. Even without vision, I could see that they were the absolute cutest couple. "Hello, John. Hello, Roger. It's nice to see you both again."

We mingled with Miami, Veronica, the bridesmaids and a few other family and friends in the lobby before taking our seats in the dining room.

"Why is doggie allowed at the table?" I heard one of Veronica's little cousins inquire.

"Because he's a very special doggie who helps Ronnie's friend see." Most likely Veronica's Aunt and the girl's mother replied. "You can tell because he's wearing that vest. That means he's working and you can't pet him and play with him like other doggies because he's busy helping his master."

"You can come say hi and pet him if you want." I offered. "He's very friendly. His name is Ringo like the Beatle. Do you like the Beatles?"

Before the girl could answer, I heard a click followed by several more. "Oh this is so great! I'm going to post all of these pictures on Facebook to show that my daughter is becoming more socially aware and treats blind people with respect. #Ashleysnewblindfriend. Smile, honey!"

"Uh-huh. Yeah I'm feeling very respected." I said sarcastically. Unfortunately, stuff like this happened a lot and people often didn't even realize they were being inconsiderate.

"Auntie, that's enough!" Ronnie said sharply.

"It's not very polite to take pictures of others and upload them on social media without their consent." Freddie said coldly.

"Ashley's my daughter. I'm able to consent on her behalf." The mother said obliviously.

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way. And you didn't ask for my consent. Contrary to what you may think, blind people have feelings too." I replied.

Before things could escalate any further, Deaky clinked his glass to gather everyone's attention. "Welcome everyone! I'd like to thank all of our friends and family for coming together to celebrate our engagement."

'_Not all of them.' _I thought glumly, longing for Brimi to show up.

"And a very special thanks to my brother Freddie who arranged this party so we could all dine at the Ritz like royalty."

"Don't forget to thank Jim. This party would be nothing without his flowers!" Freddie interrupted. "And it would be nothing without his beautiful face present at our table."

"I love you, Freddie." Jim whispered before Deaky continued with his speech. I swear those two should get an award for how adorable they were as a couple.

"Yes so thank you Freddie and Jim and thanks to everyone who could show up to celebrate with us tonight. Now as the waiters prepare our appetizers you'll notice champagne already in our glasses set on the table at 1:00."

"It's 7:30." Veronica's aunt blurted. "Also is there a kids menu for Ashley?

"He's trying to make it easier for me!" I snapped wishing she would shut the fuck up.

"So I'd like to propose a toast." Deaky went on ignoring her. "Let's all raise our glasses to my breathtaking bride to be, my soulmate Veronica and our upcoming special day!"

"To Ronnie and Deaky!" Freddie declared and we raised our glasses. Warily, I took a sip of the champagne. Much to my surprise, it was bubbly and sweet. I rather liked it, but I didn't want to get drunk.

"And don't worry darlings. After we've finished our champagne the waiters will be coming round with fine wine." Freddie announced.

"Will there be grape juice for Ashley? Also, she's gluten sensitive so we need to take that into consideration."

"Auntie, please!" Veronica scolded. "Don't make this about you."

"Oh no! This isn't about me. It's about Ashley." 

Thankfully, things didn't get out of hand because the waiters arrived listing all the different types of wine flavors they had to offer. Appetizers were delivered to our table and I wasn't sure if it was out of courtesy for me or because the food was fancy, but they announced as each dish was placed down. "Crab cakes, quinoa tuna poke, cobia ceviche, organic kale vinaigrette salad, and caviar." 

"Oh, darling, I'm sorry, but you can take back the kale salad. I only selected it because I thought that a vegan would be attending the party, but he unfortunately couldn't make it. No one else will eat it and I don't want it going to waste." Freddie instructed. 

So much for not thinking about Brian. He probably would have enjoyed the kale even though that stuff is super bitter. I didn't know how Brian can stomach all those disgusting veggies, but he loved them. Especially carrots I was told. Personally, I despised carrots because I was told they were good for my eyes and vision. Growing up I would eat them like a rabbit praying they would help me see, but it was fruitless (pun intended--Oh wait carrots are vegetables, not fruits. Never mind. Bad pun. Stupid carrots). 

I decided to taste the caviar after being told it was at 11:00. This was my first time sampling the posh cuisine, so I wasn't sure what to expected. I spit it out within seconds. "Gross! It tastes salty and fishy!" 

"Well of course it's fishy. It's fish eggs, darling. I just love caviar. I could eat it all day long. The soft texture is so divine." Freddie professed. 

"I'm more of a simple fish and chips kind of guy myself." Jim said. "Don't feel bad, Roger. I can't stand caviar either. This fancy stuff isn't for everyone, but it makes Freddie happy, so that's always good...Oh no, love, please don't cover your teeth like that, your smile is so precious!" 

"You're too good to me Jim." Freddie said. "I'd offer you a crab cake, but you're allergic to crab. Here, maybe you'll enjoy the tuna poke." 

The gagging sounds Jim was making told me I wasn't alone with my distaste in the options. What was with all the seafood? "Isn't there any land meat here?" I asked bluntly.

"Well when I was selecting menu items, I thought Brian would be here. Hence the abandoned salad. I didn't want him to be upset, so I figured the best compromise was fish since it doesn't seem as sad to eat them rather than cows or chicken or pigs. Plus like I said, caviar is such a delight!" Freddie explained. "But don't worry, there will be better choices for the entree." 

"They say fish is healthier than red meat and pork you know." Ronnie said. "I appreciate the choice, Freddie. And it tastes delicious."

"Thank you, darling. See? Veronica appreciates my genius planning and appeasement skills. By the way, dear, Melina still didn't get her invitation to the bridal shower. Perhaps it got lost in the mail." 

"Oh, I almost forgot. I'm sorry this is so late. It's a last minute invite, but I'd love for Melina to attend. Can you make sure she gets this invitation?"

"You're actually inviting him?" John laughed. 

"Well she owes us after Jim and I took her dress shopping so we could match the design of her gown to the flowers that Jim will be arranging for the wedding." Freddie said. 

"Freddie! John isn't supposed to know about the dress before the wedding!" Ronnie hissed. 

I snickered. "You're in trouble, Fred."

"Aren't I always?" He laughed. "So, tell me, darling, will there be strippers at this bridal shower?"

"No." Veronica said firmly. 

"Can I hire my own strippers to come?"

"No!" 

"Can I bring Jim and have him strip?"

"God no!" Veronica and Jim shouted in unison. 

"Why can't I have any fun?" Freddie pouted. "I need more wine and more champagne as well." As if on cue, I heard the footsteps of waiters coming to cater to Freddie's drink demands. They also presented us with a choice of chicken or steak for our main courses. 

"What would Brimi have chosen if he were here?" I wondered. 

"Probably that same nasty kale salad. They could make another one for him." Freddie said. "But Brian's not here to be a sad herbivore, so let us happy carnivores ingest our meats!" Then he giggled and I somehow knew he was poking Jim suggestively. 

"Freddie, I think you've had a little too much to drink." Mary remarked. 

"I'm not driving. I'll be okay, dear." Freddie said, and from the sound of it, I was sure he blew her a kiss from across the table. John said he wanted Freddie drunk enough to sing, so I allowed him to carry on. Besides, something told me if I had vision, I'd be getting shitfaced on multiple occasions. Being clumsy and knocking into things is fun when you're drunk; it's embarrassing and depressing when you're blind. 

"Freddie, why don't you sing for us while we wait for dessert?" Deaky suggested as the waiter presented Freddie with another glass. "Ronnie and I would really really appreciate it if you sang us some love songs. It'll be good practice for when you sing for us at the wedding."

"Did I agree to sing at the wedding?" Freddie slurred. 

"Yes." Deaky lied. "Don't you remember?" Sneaky Deaky! He was going to convince Freddie to sing not only now but also for the wedding. Well I guess that's karma for Freddie using alcohol to coerce Brian into getting that tattoo. Damn it! Why did Brian keep crossing my mind?

"Oh yes! You wrote a song to surprise Ronnie and you wanted me to sing it!" Freddie exclaimed. "Should I sing that one now or keep it a surprise and save it for the wedding?" 

"You wrote me a song?" Ronnie gasped. "Oh Deaky, that's so romantic!" 

"It was supposed to be a surprise." John sighed. "Let's save that one for the wedding, Fred. Do you know any other love songs?"

"Of course!" I heard Freddie stand up and push back his chair. "So I wrote this song for Jim and I planned to sing it at our wedding, but--"

"--Freddie, I love you, but this is only our fifth date. Give it more time, love." Jim blurted. 

"Fine. But I bet you after our 39th date if we're not already engaged or married, _you'll _be the one begging _me _to tie the knot."

"Well then here's to the next 39 dates and sharing forever after that with you." Jim toasted. 

"I LOVE YOU!" Freddie squealed. He hiccuped. "Excuse me! I think I've had one too many. Okay um...So...this is a song I wrote for my soulmate, but I'm at the engagement party of my creampuff, so I'll devote it to my precious baby Deaky and Ronnie even though it's meant for Jim." 

Despite being drunk, Freddie delivered a show stopping performance of his original song I Was Born to Love You. I was floored by his vocal power and sheer intensity. When he finished singing, there was a stunned silence sweeping over the dining room as people took in the star before our eyes bright enough to overpower the darkness of my world. What followed was a boisterous applause loud as thunder. 

"That was amazing, love!" Jim sniffled. "You're so spectacular! I can hardly believe you're real let alone that you're mine." 

"Can you sing another please?" I requested. 

"I um don't have any other love songs at the moment....Wait actually I do. Mary, darling, do you mind if I sing our breakup song?"

"Freddie, do you really think that's appropriate?" Mary retorted. 

"Yes. I do think it's appropriate. This song is called Love of my Life." He cleared his throat, but before he could sing, he was interrupted by Ashley shouting. "Mommy, look that cake is on fire!" 

"Oh, that's the baked Alaska flambe. It looks like dessert is here. Maybe I'll sing some more later. For now let's enjoy dessert." Freddie declared. 

"Ah man!" I protested. 

"Are you sure?" Deaky pressed.

"You prefer me over sugar and sweets? Surely I'm not that great!" Freddie remarked humbly as he sat back down. "Besides I'm expecting a phone call." 

"Why would you be expecting a phone call in the middle of an engagement party?" I questioned. 

"Shit! I am really bad at keeping surprises tonight. Between the wedding dress and Deaky's special song and now--" A Jimi Hendrix guitar riff interrupted Freddie's ramble. "And that's the call. Everyone! I have a surprise that I thankfully didn't give away. Can we all look at my phone please?" 

I felt left out when everyone gasped. There was no way for me to see what was on Freddie's phone. It was probably one of those cat videos on Youtube. Then I heard the familiar voice coming from the phone. "Hello everyone! Sorry I couldn't make it. I'm still recovering. But I'll be able to see you all at the wedding."

"Brian?" I cried. 

"Goodness, Bri! You look awful!" Deaky remarked. 

"Thank you, John." Brian replied sarcastically.

"No, I didn't mean it like that...You're just so pale. I'm sorry about what happened. I really wish you could be here." 

"If it helps you feel any better, I did cry myself into a frenzy with my guilt over what that tattoo cost you." Freddie interjected. 

"I-I don't understand...Brian, are you there? How can they see you?"

"Roger?" Brian responded to my calls. "Fred, do you mind passing the phone to him so I can see him. I really want to meet him." 

"It's Facetime." Deaky clarified and suddenly the phone was placed in my hand. Crap! Brian could see me. What if he didn't like me? Talking on the phone was very different from seeing each other face to face. The silence scared me. I wish there was a way for me to read Brian's facial expressions to determine what was on his mind when he looked back at me. 

"...You can't be serious." Brian said at last making me cringe. "Roger, this isn't fair! You're gorgeous, and you'll never even know it!"

"W-What?" I dared myself to speak thinking I had misheard him use the word gorgeous to describe me. 

"All this time I had no idea I was talking to someone good looking enough to be a model. I just wish _you_ knew how handsome you are...I just can't get over your face. It's perfect!"

"Darling, I know Roger is a total snack, but I should remind you that we can all hear you and Ronnie's kid cousins are here. So keep it in your pants." Freddie interrupted. 

"I think we'll be calling it a night now." Veronica's aunt blurted. "Come on, Ashley!" 

Freddie ignored their departure and put his arm around me. "I always knew you were hot enough to even catch the attention of straight men, Roger."

Oh my heart! Why did the 's' word have to come up again? I wanted to cry. If it was true, then why was Brian sending me such mixed signals? 

"Freddie, don't make him uncomfortable!" Brian reprimanded. "Besides, your boyfriend looks pretty jealous....That's Jim right, the one with the mustache?"

Much to my dismay, Freddie took back his phone so he could bring it closer to Jim. "Brian, have you met the greatest boyfriend soon to be husband of all time? This is Jim Hutton, my soulmate. Jim, darling, this is my brother Brian." 

"Pleasure." Jim said. 

I waited impatiently as the phone was passed around allowing Brian to speak to and catch up with Miami, Deaky, and even Mary. Finally Freddie gave the phone back to me. "Hi again." I said. 

"How are you doing, Roger? I don't care how much effort Freddie put into the party, unless you're having fun, it's a failure as far as I'm concerned." Brian said making me giggle.

"I'm having a fun." I assured him. "I'd be having more fun if you were here." 

"Ah. I know. I'm doing much better though, just tired and according to Deaky I'm pale."

"I wouldn't know." I said. "But you're probably tired cause you stay up all night talking to me on the phone. Should I be expecting another call tonight?"

"Why stop our little tradition? I don't see any reason to stop our late night chats each night." 

"You two talk to each other hours _every_ night?" Freddie spit out his drink. "Christ! That's really gay. It's like something Jim and I would do. You two should start seeing each other."

"I can't see him." I pointed out. 

"Brian, this is the part where you say that you're straight. If you were gay, I'd know. I mean I have to know. My trusted gaydar can't be failing me!" Freddie insisted, only to pound the nail further into my heart.

"Let's not do this now, Freddie." Brian said coldly. "I'll talk to you tonight, Roggie. Goodbye everybody! Sorry again that I couldn't make it." There was a beep and then the phone went quiet. 

"Love, you can't force someone out of the closet like that." Jim said. "You know how hard it can be." 

"But Brian's not gay." Deaky said. 

"In that case, neither am I." Jim laughed. 

"Is it that obvious?" Freddie cried. "How could I miss this? I've known Brian since he was three years old. He's my brother for crying out loud! Wouldn't I have realized?"

"I think you owe him an apology. You practically outted him publicly. If he is gay or bi or any other sexuality, it needs to be his choice if and when he comes out." Jim said. 

"I know. I messed up. Can I throw him a coming out party like he and Deaky did for me?...After he comes out of course."

"Assuming he's gay." Deaky ventured. 

"Do you think?"I asked unable to stop smiling. 

"I mean with the way he looked at you, it's quite clear now. There's no doubt that he's attracted to you, darling." Freddie said. "It's just a bit of a shock. I thought I knew everything about my brother."

"Well like Jim said, if it's true then he'll come out when he's ready and we can't pressure him." Miami said. "You should know that Freddie." 

"If he is gay or bi, I hope he ends up with you, Roger. You two would be great together." John said. "Just please don't give your hopes up because I'd hate to see you get hurt." 

"I told you earlier. It's a little late for that." I said. "I'll talk to Brimi tonight as usual, and we'll see what happens."

***

I nearly screamed when my phone rang. I anxiously picked up not sure what to expect. All I knew was that I needed answers. If Brian wasn't interested I prayed he'd let me down easily. If not... I couldn't get ahead of myself. 

"Hey, Roger. It was great seeing you earlier!" Brian greeted casually.

"Yeah it was great seeing you too...I mean hearing you...I mean..."

"I know what you mean." He laughed. "So how was the party?"

I relayed him all the highlights from the evening: the good the bad and the ugly including the fishy appetizers and food, Freddie's singing, and Ronnie's aunt's obnoxious behavior. "I think my favorite part of the night was when Freddie Facetimed you in."

"Really? You liked that more than hearing Freddie sing? You talk to me every night, Rog. Freddie doesn't sing in public too often which is a shame because he has a voice like an angel. He could sing the Alphabet Song and have you moved to tears." 

"He's amazing." I agreed. "And Deaky got him drunk enough to say he'll sing at the wedding too. Now I have two things to look forward to besides the wedding itself."

"What's the second thing?" Brian asked. 

"Meeting you in person."

"Yes. I can't wait to see you not on a screen." he replied. "I hope you don't mind if I spend the entire wedding staring at your pretty face. It's quite the sight. Oh God! That sounds creepy. Sorry."

"No, it's fine." I said trying to downplay how flattered I was. "I won't even be able to tell if you're looking my way."

"I'll be sure to let you know that I am." Brian said. 

"Would it be weird if I asked to touch your face when we meet?" I blurted. "I'm at a bit of a disadvantage. You know what I look like and all I know is that you have poodle hair and even then I don't know shit 'cause I have no clue what poodles look like."

"You don't even need to ask, Roger. You can touch my face as much as you need to get a sense of what I look like. Although I doubt you'll find me very attractive. You can't tell, but you're out of my league in terms of looks."

Why was he talking like we were going to start dating? 'Out of my league' 'Find me attractive'. These terms were so foreign to me. Because of my condition, I never had a serious relationship. I wanted this so bad, but I wasn't sure how to proceed because it was all so new. 

"Luckily for you, I have nothing to go off of except your personality and it's hot as fuck." Okay that was an awkward flirt that sounded better in my head. Thankfully Brian laughed again. I loved making him laugh so much. It was one of my favorite things besides cars. 

"So, if haven't already guessed from Freddie's reaction at the party, you should know that I'm not publicly out of the closet yet. No one knows." Brian said hesitantly. 

"So you are gay?" I confirmed.

"I think so...I realized I wasn't attracted to women on prom night when Freddie bought a hotel room for me to take my girlfriend afterwards...Let's just say certain natural things that were supposed to happen just didn't occur."

"There's no shame in that." I assured him. "A similar thing happened to me. Our school tried to make everything as normal as possible for us, so we had a prom even though a bunch of clumsy blind kids dancing is not too fun. Long story short, I asked a girl to be my date, we kissed, and I felt nothing. I thought it was a blind thing. I mean it's hard to experience attraction and love when you can't see what your significant other looks like. Then I went to the bathroom to hide from her to avoid that awkward conversation of telling her I didn't like her, and I ended up making out with a friend of mine who was also disappointed with his date and had similar intentions. He said it was just experimentation, but for me it meant something because it confirmed that I was into guys."

"I did a little experimentation in college as well but not too much. I was very busy with my studies. And now I'm very invested in work, and as much as I love America, it's not as progressive as Europe. Central Florida is not the best place to come out. People here are Puritans in public and perverts in private. So I haven't had much of a love life since breaking up with Chrissie after the worst prom experience ever." Brian summed up. "Maybe it would be easier if I took the job at the NASA headquarters in D.C., but the job here at the Kennedy Space Center offered more money and better benefits. Culture aside, the reason I didn't officially come out to my family was because I never actually fell in love before. Not even with Chrissie. I've never had the whole butterflies in the stomach experience where I was driven gaga. I figured if I was going to come out, I might as well announce that I had found my soulmate or someone I loved."

"Well thank you sharing your truth with me. I know coming out can be scary." I said, recalling how I had told my family. Thankfully, they had been accepting, especially Clare who gave me a big hug and told me she couldn't ask for a better brother. Dad, on the other hand, simply said no one would ever love me anyway because I was blind and useless, but I feared he would use the f word on me. Thankfully, the blindness distracted more people than my sexuality so I hadn't been called that hateful word that rhymed with maggot. 

"Roger, I was wondering if you'd like to be my date at the wedding." Brian asked, his quivering voice giving away his nerves. "I know neither of us have dates yet. Would you maybe be interested in that? If not, I can ask Mary since Freddie's bringing Jim as his plus one."

"No!" I shouted a little too quickly. "Don't ask Mary. I'll be your date. Gladly."

"You will? Oh Roggie! That makes me so happy! You have no idea!" Brian exclaimed. 

Swept up in my own excitement, I accidentally loudly shrieked into the phone again, a habit I knew Brian hated. Over the past few weeks we'd been talking, he was getting used to it, but it still annoyed him. "At least give me a heads up before you do that. My ears are ringing."

"Sorry. I'm just really excited."

"I'm excited too. John says you're arriving a week before the wedding because it's a destination wedding and a week will give you enough time to get over your jet lag. I was thinking I could drive down to Miami a week early as well. Would that be alright?" Brian said. 

I bit down on my lip to keep from squealing again. "Of course! That'd be great!" 

"Good. Now I don't want to overshadow Deaky and Ronnie's big day, but can you help me come out to everyone when we're there?" 

"Come out?" I recalled his words from earlier on the conditions he'd come out. "Wait, Brimi...does that mean you've found somebody to love?"

"Yes. I have." Brian confirmed making my heart soar. "I hope you have too, Roger." 

"Oh definitely. I've found somebody to love. Now I need you to hang up so I can scream my lungs out without making you go deaf."

"Okay, Rog." He laughed. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

And as I shrieked to my heart's content, running around the room, waving my hands in the air proclaiming "He loves me!", I heard another voice also excitedly screaming from the other room. "Freddie, sorry to call you so late, but you were right! They're in love!" John shouted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I have no clue if Your Song is Brian and/or Roger's favorite Elton John song, but it is my favorite Elton John song and it made a cute moment to show that Roger is head over heels despite not meeting Brian in person yet. While they're still beating around the bush and only implied they're in love instead of overtly telling each other "I love you", things will definitely heat up and get more official once they meet in person. That, my friends, is coming up next chapter and it shall be glorious! I'd say this chapter was worth pulling an all nighter, but I'll leave that opinion to you the readers. Now I need to work on a paper for school that's due Sunday night. Eek! I've got to get my priorities in line... LOL I'll probably find an excuse to return to this story and will update soon. Four Magical Misfits needs an update soon as well but one thing at a time. Cheers!


	5. Open Your Eyes Look up to the Skies and See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger meets Brian at last!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who finished her term paper? Haha I'm freeeee!...Until finals and the 3 quizzes I have this week. Ugh. School is rough. Anyway here is the highly anticipated chapter that I think will be worth everything! Maylor has arrived at last!!! ❤️❤️❤️

"I'm going to see Brian today! I'm going to see Brian today!" I sang giddily as I danced around the airport terminal. Blindness brought with it a lack of self consciousness. I was free as a bird to flail around in circles anxiously awaiting my meeting with my crush. Face to face. We'd see each other for real. Okay I was counting touching Brian's face as seeing him but that didn't matter. What mattered was that we'd be together. I squealed unable to contain my joy. I didn't care if people stared I was literally blind to their judgements.

"Such a cutie pie." Freddie commented and I heard him blow me a kiss in my direction. "You deserve to be happy like this all the time, darling."

"And to think you were so scared of taking this trip. Now look at how excited you are!" John remarked.

I stopped my motion now remembering that in order to get to Brian I'd have to go an airplane. So far the airport was a breeze as Ringo and my friends guided me through the hustle and bustle of security and helped me get my bags checked. Boarding the plane was a fear I still had to conquer.

"Darling, you'll be fine." Freddie promised. "I fly all the time. It's no big deal. I'll let you have the window seat."

"Planes have windows?" I questioned. Although it wouldn't make a difference to me. Windows were meaningless.

"Or maybe you'll have the aisle." Freddie corrected his mistake. "That way you'll get the most legroom."

"There's not a lot of legroom?" I figured it was like movie theater seats and there was enough space to put your feet up.

"Have you ever been in a small compact car?" Deaky tried another analogy.

"Ohhh. So it's a flying compact car in a nutshell?" I translated.

"Exactly!" Deaky approved.

Then I thought more about the implications of being trapped in a compact car with hundreds of strangers for eight and a half unable to see what was happening.

"You'll be fine, Roger, dear. I already called dibs on sitting next to you so I can comfort you the entire time even if it means I have to sit in the middle in between you and Jim. I'll be sure to take good care of you." Freddie assured me.

"It's not too late to trade seats. You can switch with Miami and sit with me and Ronnie." Deaky offered.

"No! I already claimed Roggie! He's sitting with us!" Freddie fought. "Trust me, Deaky."

"I guess I'm accounted for then." I said.

My father's words rung in my ear. _"You're such a damn burden, Roger. No one will ever want to be with you unless they're paid. We can't even take Clare on a family holiday somewhere fun because traveling with you is such a hassle and we can't leave you behind because you'll do something stupid unless you're watched 24/7."_

Now people were literally fighting over who got to sit with me on a plane. Plus I had the most perfect man waiting for me at the end of this trip. Although traveling was difficult, and my friends must realize that.

"Are you mad at me for slowing us down in security?" I wondered.

"Oh Rog, no, that wasn't because of you. Getting through security normally takes more than 30 minutes. That's why we left so early. There's always a long line and it takes a while." John explained.

"But I couldn't find the tray where I was supposed to put all of my things to be screened and I forgot to take my belt off and when we were finished I took Freddie's shoes and Jim's wallet by mistake and—"

"—We got delayed by 5 minutes total and we got all of our belongings back to the proper people. It sounds like a typical day at the airport. Nothing to worry about." John dismissed.

"If you'd like I could take you to one of the malls in America and buy you a pair of shoes identical to mine." Freddie offered. "I can understand why you like them so much. They're very stylish, but they're also rather comfortable. I must admit though when you took my shoe and I thought I had lost it, you really gave me quite a freight, darling. Of course I know it was on accident so I forgive you."

"And we traded back wallets so no harm done." Jim said kindly.

I had the best friends in the world! My father would have cursed at me or even hit me if any of these things had occurred if I were traveling with him.

'_Attention ladies and gentlemen! We are now beginning the pre-boarding process for Flight 39 from London to Miami. Passengers with disabilities and passengers traveling with small children may now begin boarding.'_

"Jim and I will go with you so you don't have to worry about getting up to let us go into the aisle if we arrive after you." Freddie volunteered. "Come on, darlings, don't forget your carry-ons."

I untied Ringo's leash from around one of the chairs. He licked me and then trotted forward. "Good boy!" I complemented as he guided me into the line and stopped so I knew not to bump into the people standing in front of us.

"A cat could do it too." Freddie said in a unimpressed tone.

Behind us I heard wheels rolling against the floor. I assumed it was a suitcase, but when it was accompanied by baby noises I knew it was a stroller. "Ohh! Look at the cute baby! Jim! Jim! Jim! Jim! Darling, I want a baby! Can we have a baby?"

"Err, let's wait until after we're married, Fred." Jim murmured awkwardly.

"Ohmygod are you proposing?! I think I'm gonna faint!" He hyperventilated.

"No, Freddie. I need more time, love. It'll happen eventually I promise. Just don't rush in."

"You know wise men say only fools rush in." Freddie spoke the words of Elvis.

"See? Now you're being sensible." Jim responded to the lyric cluelessly.

"..._But I can't help falling in love you with you_." Freddie crooned.

"I love your voice so much, honey. It's so rich and soothing it put the baby to sleep. Isn't that sweet." Jim noted. "I hope you realize what a gift you have, Freddie, but I'll keep reminding you how special you are until you tell me to knock it off and even then I'll continue."

"How the hell are you two so bloody perfect?" I cried. "It's not fair! You're like a fairytale couple."

I was so caught up in the flawlessness of Freddie and Jim that I hardly noticed the sound of small feet scampering toward Ringo. I froze when I heard a woman's voice reprimand. "No, Samantha! You can't pet that dog until you have permission from the owner!"

I prepared myself for a repeating encounter with Veronica's aunt or someone just like her. I would be fooling myself to believe that this would end any differently. "You can pet him. It's alright. He's friendly."

The little girl giggled as she pet Ringo. "He licked me! That means he likes me! Dogs are funny. I like them. Mommy, I don't wanna go on the scary plane. I wanna stay here with the doggie!"

"No, honey, we have to go on the plane. I promise it won't be scary at all. It'll be a fun adventure. We're going to see Grandma."

"But I'm scared." The girl whimpered. "Why can't I just stay here with the doggie?"

"He's going on the plane with me." I told the girl. "But do you wanna hear a secret?" I crouched down so I was her height. "It's my first time on a plane too and I'm also a bit scared."

"Really?" The girl gasped. "But you're a grownup. Grownups don't get scared."

"Sometimes we do." I said. "But I know we'll be safe because I have my dog to take care of me. He'll make sure everyone on the plane is okay."

"Well I guess I'm not scared anymore because the doggie will protect us." She said.

"Thank you!" The mother exclaimed. "Oh, poor thing has been a mess all day long. She's really afraid of flying, but you really helped her. Your dog is beautiful by the way. What's his name?"

"His name is Ringo." I said surprised that this woman was talking to me like a normal human being and wasn't using the same tone she had with her young daughter.

"Like the Beatle?" She laughed.

"Oh cool! Why would you name him after a bug?" Samantha blurted.

"No, honey, Ringo Starr is in the band the Beatles. You love them, remember? They sing your favorite songs about the Yellow Submarine."

"Ohh! I love the yellow submarine song!" She began to sing it at the top of her lungs.

"Alright, Samantha, we have to check in our tickets and get on the plane now. Say bye-bye to Ringo and...Oh I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Roger."

"Roger. Roger and Ringo. Two R's...Sorry I'm trying to teach Samantha her alphabet before she starts preschool in the fall. Never too early they say." The mother stammered as she wheeled her suitcase up to the checkpoint.

Some people were nice. I had to remember this. It filled my heart with warmth.

Meanwhile Freddie and Jim were still fighting over which one loved the other one more. I nudged Freddie's elbow. "The line's moving. We've gotta show our tickets to the man...I think it's a man. He has a deep voice."

"You're right, darling. That's a man checking the tickets. A fine looking man. I'd like to know the size of his cock."

"Freddie!" Jim gasped.

"I'm only joking, dear."

The man stopped the mother daughter duo in front of us. "Your daughter is so cute." He remarked. "How old is she?"

"She's three." The mother replied. "We're going to visit her grandmother in Boca Raton, Florida."

"I have a son who's four at home with a sitter. Being a single parent is tough. Here, let me see your ticket....Alright. It looks like you're good to g--Your eyes are green! Oh my God!"

"That logo of the plane is blue!" She gasped. "My goodness! You're my soulmate!"

Around us the people in line applauded and offered their congratulations. "See, Jim, he's not even gay. So you've got nothing to worry about." Freddie said. "And congratulations, my darlings! You make a lovely couple."

"Yay! Mommy found her soulmate!" Samantha proclaimed.

"Here. I'll leave my number on your ticket. Call me when you land, alright?" The man offered.

"Your pen...it's red ink! I cant believe this is happening." She exclaimed. I didn't realize she turned back to face me but she addressed me. "Roger, I think you and your dog Ringo bring good luck. I hope you find your soulmate one day and you'll be able to see the world after they touch you."

That wasn't the first time someone made the assumption that meeting my soulmate would restore my sight. I didn't bother correcting her. I just congratulated her and said goodbye. It would be nice to know for myself whether or not I found my soulmate, but my world would remain dark regardless. Brian would just have to tell me if he saw color...assuming it was Brian. He had to be my soulmate. Who else could drive me gaga without actually meeting me in person?

***

_This was it. The moment we had all been waiting for. Music was playing. Soon Ronnie would be walking down the aisle, but first the other people in the wedding had to take their places beside John waiting at the altar for his bride. Freddie was crying as he and Jim walked down the aisle. "My baby creampuff is getting married!" He sobbed._

_Someone was standing next to me. I could sense them shifting about as the music played. The next thing I knew, that mysterious person linked his arm in mine and we were walking down the aisle. "Brimi?" I gasped._

_I tripped before the stranger could say anything. I fell down in what seemed like an endless spiral as in this constant darkness there was no way of knowing how far I was from the floor. Finally, I landed on the cold unforgiving ground. The music stopped. Instead of sniffles and cheers from the attending guests, all I could hear was a mix of laughter and boos._

_"I never should have made you best man, Roger. You ruined the wedding!" John shouted._

_"I told you it should've been me, darling. What were you thinking? Didn't Mr. Taylor ever tell you that Roger can't do anything right?" Freddie scoffed. "I won't even bother inviting him to my wedding."_

_"Aye. You can fuck up elsewhere, Roger. We don't want you at our special day." Jim agreed._

_I attempted to get up, but continued to fumble and slip falling right back down onto my ass repeatedly. "Brimi?" I choked looking up in the direction of the man who was walking with me before I had tripped and humiliated myself. I held up my hand. "Please help me up." When the guests continued to laugh at my desperate pleas toward Brian who remained silent, I felt my broken eyes beginning to water._

_"Ah, what a pathetic baby! He's crying!" Deaky laughed._

_"Brian, are you there?" I screamed. "Please. I need you. I can't get up!"_

_"Did you really think I could ever love you?" He finally spoke._

I shot up in a panic still surrounded by darkness like always. Only there wasn't a soft mattress beneath me nor were there sheets covering my body. This wasn't my bed and it didn't seem like my room at all. I was sitting on a plush but somehow uncomfortable seat with hard armrests between me. When I tried to stand up, I found that I was strapped down. What the hell was happening? Did someone kidnap me? A pressure built up in my ears freaking me out even further.

"Roger! Roger!" Freddie shouted. "Darling, it's okay. Everything's alright, darling. You just had a a nightmare."

"A-A...n-nightmare?" I let out a sigh of relief as my memories translated over and I recalled falling asleep on the plane.

"Please, dear, you've got to calm down. You're scaring me."

Ringo put his face on my knee and whimpered gently trying to help me regain a sense of my surroundings. "I'm okay. I'm alright." I pet him. "I just forgot where I was for a moment."

Waking up in unfamiliar places was always terrifying, but experiencing it while blind was even worse. I was glad that I didn't go into a full blown panic attack and was able to calm myself. I felt more secure when Freddie gave me a hug and Jim reached across Freddie's lap to squeeze my hand reassuringly. "We'll be landing very soon." Jim said. "Here. I never ate my peanuts. You can have them if you'd like."

"Thanks." I said grasping the bag of peanuts. I was still shaky so I spilled some of the snack in the process.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Freddie asked.

"Um...I tripped at the altar and embarrassed myself in front of everybody." I whispered. I decided to leave it at that and not go into detail. The last thing I wanted was to relieve that awful nightmare.

"Well you know that won't happen. Ringo will be walking with you and Brian would never let you fall." Freddie said.

"I'm so fucking clumsy." I sighed. "I think I need to talk things over with John. It's a mistake having me in the wedding. I don't want to ruin things."

"Don't be ridiculous." Freddie cried. "People trip and fall all the damn time. Just the other day I fell flat on my face while trying to get out of bed in the morning. It could happen to anyone. The important thing is that you're not hurt. And you could never ruin the wedding. _You're _the reason the wedding is happening. I think that woman at the airport was right about you and Ringo being good luck. You helped John and Veronica find each other and you helped me and my Jim. Whenever you're around, people find their soulmates. So Deaky should be honored to have you at his wedding."

"But it's supposed to be about John and Veronica. If I fall, it will take away from their special day." I reasoned.

"You're not going to fall." Jim said.

"H-How do you know that?" I cried. "I-I can't see...There's so many ways for me to trip."

"If it makes you feel any better, when we land I'll call Brian and see if he can meet you at the chapel in the hotel where the ceremony will take place. You can practice walking down the aisle with him, memorize exactly how many steps you'll need to take to reach the altar safely. Do it as many as times as you'd like until you're confident and comfortable." Freddie suggested. "I don't want you being a worry wart at the wedding. It's a festive occasion, a time to get drunk and celebrate."

"Y-You really think Brian would want to waste his time practicing something so mundane as walking with me?" I pondered.

"Of course he would, dear. Brian's crazy for you. He lives his life for you. Thinks all his thoughts with you and only you. Anything you ask, he'll do."

My heart fluttered. "I can't stop thinking about him either. We've been talking on the phone every night for months now. We take turns singing each other to sleep. It's...I can't really describe it. Surreal I guess. I've never felt like this before. Each moment I count down the days left until I can see him even if I can't ever really see him." I confessed.

"It won't be much longer now." Freddie said. "Just a few more hours until you're together face to face. Are you excited?"

"I'm so excited I could burst." I exclaimed. "But I'm a bit nervous too. I have such a high expectations. What if things aren't the same face to face as they are over the phone? What if Brian doesn't like me because I'm so clumsy or because I look better on a screen than I do in real life?"

"He'll love you. He already loves you. It's no secret. You've got no reason to be nervous, darling." Freddie promised. "And I'll even argue that you look better in real life than you do on a screen."

"You'll see. Everything will work out." Jim said.

"I won't see." I shook my head and munched on the peanuts waiting for this headache inducing pressure in my ears to end.

_'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I've turned the seatbelt sign back on. Please return to your seats and prepare for landing. We will be arriving at our destination within the next 15-20 min. Thank you for flying with us.'_

"Hold my hand while we descend, Jim?" Freddie offered.

"Why ask, love?"

Not sure what to expect, I reached out, and Freddie got the message. He held my hand as well as Jim's. '_Brian, here I come!' _I thought as the plane started to land.

***

"My suitcase has my initials and a car keychain on it." I announced as I touched each luggage tag on the conveyer belt waiting for the one with braille to arrive. "Ah, here it is!" I pulled it off the machine, nearly falling backward in the process. John examined the luggage to make sure that it was mine and I hadn't made a mistake. "Perfect!" Deaky said proudly. "Let me go help Ronnie. Miami, are we still waiting for your stuff as well?"

"Mhmm. Shouldn't be much longer." Miami said.

"Roger, darling!" I heard Freddie call. "Come over here! There's someone who wants to see you."

Ringo guided me to where Freddie was standing, weaving in and out of suitcases and people in the way. Success!

"Hi Roger! I missed having one of our little chats last night. How was your flight?" Brian's voice came from Freddie's phone.

"Bri!" I grinned, taking the phone from Freddie. "How are you?"

"Wonderful! Especially now that I can see that pretty smile of yours."

"FaceTime again?" I asked trying to hide my nerves.

"That's right. Fred's idea. He really likes FaceTiming me it seems." Brian observed. "Anyway you look phenomenal. I nearly forgot how handsome you were because it's been so long since I've last seen you. What's your secret? You've been traveling all day long and you still manage to keep that little twinkle in your eye."

"My eyes are dead. That's my secret." I stated. "Maybe dead eyes twinkle."

"I know your eyes are broken but they're absolutely beautiful. I could stare at them all day."

"And you don't even know that they're a lovely shade of blue." Freddie blurted.

"How's life in color working out for you and Jim, Freddie?" Brian inquired. "Roger told me that Jim officially moved into Garden Lodge. That's a very serious step."

"It took a lot of convincing because Jim had this pleasant little flat right above the flower shop where he works. Now he has to walk three blocks to get there every day but it's worth it. At least in my opinion. Every night's a party at Melina's mansion. Who wouldn't want to live with me? We get to cuddle with the cats and take warm bubble baths. It's domestic bliss I tell you! I've never been in a relationship that's felt this natural, and I'm genuinely happy. I'm so happy at home I don't want to leave for another tour in the fall. It's not too late to back out of my contract with the Royal Ballet but I would have to—Brian May! Are you even listening to me? My face is on _this _side of the screen, darling! Stop looking at Roger!"

"Then tell Roger to stop distracting me." Brian teased.

"I'm blind not deaf. Tell me how am I distracting you, Bri?" I tried my best to focus my eyes directly on the source of the sound so I was staring into the screen right at Brian. I loved the way he flirted with me. It made my heart soar and now I wanted to flirt back. I pursed my lips slightly. That was attractive, right?

"W-What was the question again? I've lost my train of thought." Brian stammered.

"Where are you, dear?" Freddie asked. "That doesn't look like the hotel, and I wouldn't eat that if I were you. I think someone's sneezed in it."

"It's split pea soup, Fred. No one's sneezed in it. You're just adverse to anything healthy. I'm eating lunch at a local vegan cafe."

"Once you touch Roger and realize that it's the same shade of green as snot you won't find it as appetizing. Color is guaranteed to blow your mind, my dear." Freddie said haphazardly like he too expected us to be soulmates.

"Freddie, please, I like what I have going with Roger. Let's not make it into something it's not." Brian said.

"Something it's not?" The words hit me like a boxing glove to the face. "Why would you say that, Brian? What do you mean?"

"I really would rather have this conversation privately but the bottom line is this. Lots of people only date casually until they find their soulmate. That's not me. I like you Roger, and I want to see where this goes even if you're not my soulmate. Are we on the same page, or were you thinking of ending it if we aren't soulmates?"

"We aren't that serious." I gulped. "I mean we aren't that serious _yet_. I really like you too Brian. I wouldn't be able to tell if we're soulmates anyway. So I'm all in no matter what. And I'm sick of waiting. I just want to meet you already."

"Can you be at the chapel in about an hour?" Freddie arranged.

"Sure." Brian agreed. "Why the chapel? The hotel has a nice pool deck where we could lounge and relax after the long drive and plane flight."

"Because Roger had a nightmare on the plane where he—Oof!" I elbowed Freddie to get him to shut up.

I lowered the phone hoping it was positioned so Brian could see Ringo. The dog would distract him from the embarrassing story and request Freddie was about to relay. "Look now you can say you've met Ringo Starr."

"Ahh! Ringo sure is cute!" Brian cooed. "I can't wait to give him belly rubs. He deserves it. Such a good boy!"

Freddie took back the phone. "I don't have much battery left, darlings, so I'll be quick. Brian, Roger wants to practice walking down the aisle with you so he won't trip. So will you meet him in the chapel?"

"It's a date." Brian said showing no signs of judgement. In fact he sounded enthusiastic.

"You've got yourself a date, Roggie!" Freddie squealed after Brian hung up. "Plus I have a surprise in store for you at the hotel."

"A surprise?" I asked. "What kind of surprise?"

"Shit! Forget I said anything. Miami, darling, did you find your bag? Can we go now? Is our Uber here yet because I'm ready to get the fuck out of this stuffy airport and see the city!"

I was met with a chorus of "ooh's" and "aah's" as we filed outside, and I felt cheated. All I could tell was that it was bloody hot outside. I mean it was mid July so that should be expected, but there was no breeze and a thick humidity lingering in the air. "What is everyone making a fuss over?"

"The palm trees!" Deaky exclaimed. "You don't see those back home, now do you?"

_'I don't see anything back home, and I don't see anything here either.' _I thought bitterly. However, my melancholy blues didn't last for very long because Freddie and John fighting over me again lifted my spirits.

"It's not fair, Fred! You got to sit with him on the plane! He should come into the Uber with me and Ronnie."

"No way! Jim and I want to keep him forever! He brings good luck and sunshine wherever he goes! So he'll be in our Uber."

"Why don't we just request a bigger Uber that will fit all of us?" Miami reasoned. "It's cheaper than having two Ubers like this."

"Miami, you are brilliant! Why didn't I think of that? We should request a van. That'll fit six people and dog." Freddie concluded.

"Will it take much longer to get a van to come? I don't want to keep Brian waiting." I said. Also I was melting out here. Hearing Ringo pant beside me told me the heat was affecting him too. I took off my sweatshirt and stuffed it back into my suitcase. It was probably inside-out like all the other unfolded clothes in my bag, but you try packing for a trip when you're blind. It's not so easy.

"Roger!" Freddie wolf whistled. "Look at you, darling!"

"What?" I questioned.

"You're wearing a tank top! Oh please stay just like that when you go on your date. Brimi is going to lose his fucking mind. You may just give him a sheer heart attack."

"Well I don't wanna do that, but it's too hot for a sweatshirt and this is all I had on underneath." I reasoned.

"Uber's here!" Deaky announced. "Let's go! Watch your step, Rog."

"Careful, don't hit your head, darling." Freddie joined me on my other side as I made my way into the van.

It was overwhelming to go from no friends at all to having the two of them bending over backwards for me. In the back of my head I worried that they were doing it out of pity, but I assured myself that they were genuinely my good friends...my best friends.

"Is that a service dog?" I heard an unfamiliar voice (the Uber driver) ask.

"Yes." I replied, tapping the seat so Ringo knew to lie down beneath my feet. "Good boy!" I whispered sliding him a treat.

"I'm unfortunately obligated to drive service animals but _you're _responsible if he has any accidents. Got it?"

"And that is 1 star for you, darling." Freddie said sharply. "I know Ringo isn't a cat but there is no need to be so rude."

"Ugh! Thank God it's not a cat! If someone tried to bring a cat into my van I'd kick 'em out. I don't care if I'd get sued or fired from Uber for rejecting a service animal. I'm allergic to cats and I just can't stand those furry demons."

"That's 0 stars for you, darling. I hope you're satisfied." Freddie declared

"Freddie, you can't give him a rank lower than 1 star." Deaky pointed out.

"The customer is always right, my dear." Freddie replied.

"So where to, gang?" The Uber driver asked. "Are you meddling kids off to solve a mystery?"

"We're off to solve the mystery of the world's most obnoxious Uber driver." I responded sassily making Freddie snicker.

"Take us to the Scaramouche Fandango Hotel please." Miami said politely to keep up the civility.

"That place is fancy." He remarked. "People get married there. It's real nice. Are you in town for a wedding?"

"My creampuff is getting married and I'm so proud of him!" Freddie blurted before John and Ronnie could explain that they were the bride and groom to be. I wish I could see the man's confused face. It must've been funny because even Deaky started to laugh.

"Your creampuff?" He asked.

"My baby Deaky!" Freddie clarified.

"Uh-huh...Are you sure the service dog belongs to you, blondie? 'Cause your flamboyant friend here seems off his meds."

"If you're calling my boyfriend insane, then I think we have a problem, sir." Jim spoke up.

"No, no problem at all. Look I don't give a shit if you're gay or need a service dog or whatever. I'm just trying to pay the bills. It's either this or dealing drugs again, but y'know I just got clean and I don't wanna go back to prison."

"Don't do drugs. They're bad for you." Deaky said innocently.

"Oh don't I know it! I'm not going down that dark road again. I overdosed and nearly died last year, but the paramedic who found me was my soulmate. Bless her. She saved my life by bringing me to a rehabilitation hospital. When I opened my eyes I saw color for the first time...It was....It was like a sign from God. I promised I'd get my life back together for her. So I've been an Uber driver and a busboy. No more drugs. I wanna keep myself alive 'cause this world is so beautiful. Seeing all these colors is like a natural high on it's own. This soulmate stuff is surreal. Life changing I tell ya."

"Okay darling maybe I'll give you 2 stars." Freddie decided after hearing the man's story. "But you hate cats so I refuse to give you any more leeway than that."

"Fair enough." The driver accepted as the car skidded to a stop. "Here you are! The Scaramouche Fandango Hotel. Enjoy your creampuff." He said awkwardly still not knowing that Freddie was referring to his little brother.

Inside the lobby of the hotel, classical music was playing and it was accompanied by the sound of sprinkling water. Perhaps there was an elegant fountain in the center of the room. Deaky offered me some of the complimentary strawberry lemon water available for the guests.

"Wow Freddie! I was surprised when you picked this hotel over the Ritz but you were right. It's perfect." Ronnie proclaimed. "If this is just the lobby I'm so excited to see the chapel and the ballroom. I'm sure it'll blow me away! Oh Deaky, the ceremony is going to be so lovely! I just can't wait!"

I shut my eyes pretending for once I could simply open them and get even the smallest glimpse of this luxurious lobby everyone was touting. It wasn't fair! There was so much in life I missed out on and I literally cannot see the bright side. Why did I have to go blind? I'd give anything to see just for one moment in my life. That was all I asked for. I didn't want to take away from Deaky and Ronnie's big moment and the good mood everyone was in, so I kept my thoughts to myself. I'd be leaving soon. Now I didn't have to wish myself to be miles and miles away in order to meet the love of my life because I knew Brian was waiting for me in the chapel. He was here! Part of me couldn't believe it. Releasing some nervous energy I tapped my feet to a beat matching the rhythm of my heart.

"Rog, you're up." Deaky gave me a gentle nudge to the front desk.

I looked out into the darkness and spoke to the invisible person feeling so self conscious. "Hi. I'm with Freddie Mercury's group. I'm Roger Taylor."

"Can I please see your ID?" A woman's voice responded.

"S-Sure." I fumbled in my pocket and grasped my wallet. My fingers traced the Braille markings on my cards until I found my voters ID. Some day one day I dreamed of handing over my nonexistent drivers license like most people do.What would I give to drive? Just being a passenger was so thrilling and one of the few things to bring me joy.

"Thank you, Mr. Taylor. Mr. Mercury told us all about your accommodations needed for your..._condition. _So here is your room key with braille markingsand a special Braille map of the premises and information packet. You're in room 3900 on the 3rd floor which is handicapped and pet friendly.The telephone in the room has Braille buttons and the front desk is open 24/7 to answer all of your calls. If it's an emergency we suggest 9-1-1 but otherwise don't hesitate to give us a call. Mr. May arrived a few hours ago so he can probably help you get settled but our staff can—"

"—What does Brian have to do with this?" I didn't mean to interrupt her speech but anything involving Brian peaked my interest.

"Oh! I thought you knew. Hopefully we haven't made a mistake. Mr. Mercury specificallyreserved the room for two. Let me double check." I heard her clicking away at a keyboard as I tried to wrap my head around this. "Yes. It says here under Mr. Mercury's reservation that Brian May and Roger Taylor are staying together in room 3900. The room is very spacious and has 2 Queen beds but if you would rather room alone, I could rearrange**—**"

"—No!" I shouted. "We're staying in the same room thank you please...I mean please thank you...I mean can you direct me to the chapel please? Thank you."

"The chapel? Don't you want to go to your room first and drop off your bags?"

I felt someone shift next to me. "Roger, darling, did this nice lady tell you about the surprise? You and Brian are rooming together! Here let me take your bags. I'll give them to the bellboy so he can deliver them to your room. You probably want to go to the chapel to meet Brian?"

"You have no idea how anxious I am." I whimpered.

"Okay." The front desk woman said. "The chapel is on the 2nd floor. Get off the elevator make an immediate left and down the hallway. Huge double doors. You won't miss it."

"Got all that, buddy?" I asked Ringo. He'd be the one leading me. "Let's go find Brian!"

"I have to stay here to make sure the reservations are correct. Deaky, Veronica, and I also need to oversee that everything is ready Freddie for the wedding.But Miami volunteers to take you to the chapel so you won't get lost." Freddie announced. "I'd send Jim with you too but he's not allowed to leave my sight."

"I don't recall volunteering, but I suppose I can drop you off at the chapel on the way to my room." Miami said. "No one wants you getting lost, Roger."

"Thank you Miami. I appreciate it."

"Don't do anything too sinful, dear. You're in a chapel!" Freddie warned as I followed Ringo and Miami to the lifts.

Seconds felt like hours as we underwent the woman's instructions to reach our destination. As we got further down the hall and closer to my destiny, I froze in place when I heard familiar guitar chords. My broken eyes decided to shed tears. Was I scared or excited? Either way I shouldn't be crying.

"What's the matter, son?" Miami asked. He called me son! I didn't dare comment on that in case it was an error. Having a Dad like Miami was a blessing I didn't feel I deserved. Thinking about how different Miami was from my own father made me even more emotional.

"Don't you hear?" I choked. "Brian's playing the song...he wrote me a song...I'm sorry...I just can't believe that Brian May is right down the hall."

"I'm getting old I'm afraid my hearing isn't as good as it used to be, but your hearing is more keen than normal I'd imagine. Brian loves to write sad songs but I'm sure if he wrote a song for you it'll be a happy one...Oh I hear it now. It's muffled but that's definitely him playing."

My breath caught in my chest. "He's singing too." It was probably a strain for Miami's ears but I could hear Brian's soft sweet voice clear as a radio.

"..._The White Queen walks and the night grows pale_  
_Stars of lovingness in his hair_  
_Needing - unheard_  
_Pleading - one word_  
_So sad my eyes_  
_He cannot see..."_

I trudged forward in a rush of adrenaline and smacked head first against something hard. The singing stopped as I winced putting out my hands to "see" what I had bumped into.

"Roger, I know you're excited, but you need to be more careful. That looked like it hurt. Are you okay?" Miami came to my aid.

I was used to bumps and bruises. This one was rather minor and I wasn't in any pain.

"I'm fine! Just get me to Brian _please._"

Miami stepped forward and I heard him push against the hard surface I had knocked into. It was a door I realized.

"Hello, Brian!" Miami called.

Ohmygod! I couldn't move. I was completely frozen. Brimi, the one I fell in love with and talked to on the phone every night and obsessed over, was standing somewhere close enough that he could hear Miami.

"Miami! It's so good to see you! Is everything alright? I heard a loud bang." That voice! The one I knew so well. Brian was here!

"I'd love for you and I to catch up, but I know I'm not the one you're here to see." Miami beckoned me forward, gently pushing me through the doorway. "I'll leave you two alone. Have fun."

I heard Ringo scurry into the room and plop down by my side before Miami shut the door leaving us alone.

"Brian?" My voice was an unsteady rasp.

"Roger! You have a bruise on your head! How did that happen?"

"I-I walked into the door...is it bad?"

"No, it doesn't look too serious just a small mark." Brian's voice was getting closer. He was coming to me. I pinched my skin to confirm this wasn't a dream.

"A-Are you here?" I asked when I felt his body heat.

"Right in front of you." Brian confirmed.

"Hi." I greeted my heart racing.

"You're even prettier in person. I don't know what to say." Brian replied.

That made two of us speechless. Knowing what I had to do and always dreamt of doing, I wordlessly reached up to touch his face. I frowned when my fingers came upon a fabric...and a button?

"That's my shirt, Rog. My face is a bit higher up."

"Oh." I bit my lip in concentration as my hand journeyed upward. I swatted at nothing but air this time. "Damn it!"

"It's alright. Take your time." Brian reassured. "Just a little bit higher."

"You're tall." I noted as I had to continue to reach up.

"You're small." Brian responded.

"Am I?" I wondered. I couldn't really make that judgement. "I do have trouble reaching the top shelf."

"You don't have to worry about that anymore. Now that you have me. Reaching high shelves is another one of my hidden talents."

"I'm lucky I have you then." I said and I meant it.

"And I'm lucky I have you." Brian replied.

My shaky hand was faltering. What was I so afraid of? I loved Brian. Why couldn't I just let myself touch his face? It didn't matter if we weren't soulmates we agreed to still be together.

"Roger, I'm running out of patience. Put your hand down. I have a better idea." Brian said eventually.

"S-Sorry." I murmured. "Just a bit nervous."

"No, no, don't be sorry. I'm nervous too. You're beautiful. I just...I want to try something. Let me come to you, okay?"

"What do you mean?" I asked but quickly got my answer when I felt Brian moving closer and his breath suddenly on my lips. "Let's feel each other's faces like this, hmm?" He whispered so incredibly close to me...

I leaned forward allowing our lips to touch. A kiss was a proper way to get to know someone's face in my opinion, or at least their lips and mouth. The feeling of our lips meeting was far better than what I had dreamed it would be like. What a kiss! I swooned, my eyes fluttering shut. This was all I needed. I couldn't ask for anything more. For the first time in my life I was content and truly grateful.

"Mmm...Brimi, I love you." I sighed as our mouths finally parted, my eyes still shut as I was completely at peace.

I kept my eyes shut reliving the moment of that kiss. I wanted to scream but instead I replayed the memory forcing myself to recall every second of it in case it never happened again.

"Roger, your hair is blonde!" Brian laughed scooping me up into his arms. Being spun around in the air was disorienting but I didn't care. The feeling of finding my soulmate, something I never imagined possible, was too overwhelming for me to feel sick in a bad way. It was the good kind of sick—butterflies in the stomach and cheeks hurting from smiling so widely. Brian kissed my face all over before I was lowered back to the ground.

"I see color! You really are mine! I was so scared that it wouldn't happen. Oh Roggie, I love you so much! I'm so glad we're soulmates after all!"

"I never knew I could be this happy." I sighed short of hyperventilating. '_Don't pass out or you might wake up and find that this was all a dream.' _That doubtful voice in the back of my head spoke up. How could I ever find love?

"T-This...it won't work. It can't work. It's one thing to have friends, which is something I still can't believe, but I can't have a lover who's constantly making sure I haven't fallen down or gotten lost or hurt or whatever. You won't like looking after me, Bri. As much as I try to be independent I still need someone. I can't fully rely on myself. Do you really want to be with someone who requires so much attention?"

"Don't say those things, Roger! I know your father put those ugly thoughts into your pretty little head but they're not even close to true. Everyone needs a bit of help from time to time and I don't mind being there for you at all. I _want _to look after you because I love you. Do you understand? Now open those gorgeous eyes please. I want to see them."

It wouldn't make a difference I'd still be in the dark. Part of me also feared if I blinked open my eyes Brian would be gone. I shook my head holding back more tears.

"No? You won't let me finally see what those beautiful eyes look like in color?"

I shook my head again firmly refusing to open my eyes even for the love of my life. What was the point? If I opened them I'd just be greeted by more darkness. I wouldn't get to see the handsome man standing before me.

"Fine then, no more kisses from me." Brian said playfully.

"What? That's not fair!" I pouted. I stood on my tiptoes to kiss Brian again but he stepped back so I missed him and smooched the air instead.

Brian chuckled. "No more kisses, love. Not until you let me see those eyes."

"You know I can be very stubborn." I warned. "And it makes no difference to me whether my eyes are opened or closed. So this won't end well for either of us. Give me back my kisses or I'll keep them closed forever!"

"I guess we're at a standstill. And it's a shame because I really want to kiss you some more. In fact I'd like nothing better than to keep kissing you." Brian said. "All I ask is one tiny little thing. Just open your eyes. Please."

Assuming he was still directly in front of me, I turned around so my back was facing him. This was simple teasing, but if I had a boyfriend now, why not play with him a little? "Okay. I'm opening my eyes. You can kiss me now." I said knowing he couldn't see my eyes if I was turned around. I did stay true to my word though and opened them.

Light! Ironically it was almost blinding. It was the first thing I saw pouring in from the stained glass window display of the chapel. A bright substance shining through a no longer dark world. Everything before me was illuminated. There was so much to see I dared not even blink and allowed my newly restored eyes to take in everything that I had been missing out on! What the hell was going on? Was I actually seeing something beyond the darkness? My mind rushed as I tried to keep a grip on reality. Everything was so new. With all the brightness dazzling before me I wasn't even sure what I was looking up at. The overhead colorful pattern of the stained glass window was so foreign to me, but I refused to look away. I assumed that I had died and gone to heaven.

"Roger?"

I didn't realize I was trembling. I tried to make sense of this new world but each structure I stared at was so unfamiliar. It scared me.

"Rog, can you hear me?"

I shut my eyes again, returning to the familiar darkness. "T-There's so much..." I whispered opening my eyes once more to ensure it wasn't a fluke. The world was blurred by a wetness...my tears. "I-I didn't know...everything would be so unrecognizable."

Bracing myself, I prepared to turn around and see Brian for the first time. What would he look like? I got caught off guard by the unfamiliar sight of my own legs and feet as I looked down. I watched them move...and slip.

"Roger!" Someone caught me. I shut my eyes again. This was too much. I couldn't do it. It was too sudden and dizzying.

"What happened? Why are you shaking? Do you have a concussion from when you hit your head on the door? Did I do something wrong? Talk to me, baby. I need to know you're alright." Brian pelted me with his concern as I quivered in his arms. If I opened my eyes again, would I see him?

"I feel nauseous." I murmured.

"Shh. It's alright. Keep your eyes shut, honey. I'm sorry I didn't know. You must've hit your head harder than I thought. Just lie down on the pew and I'll go get you some water."

"No!" I cried. "Please don't go! Don't leave me!" I didn't want to be alone knowing that I was literally a blink away from an entire world full of unknown sights. "I'm scared, Bri! Everything is so different and intimidating."

The feeling of paws jumping up onto my lap and a wet sloppy tongue licking my face made me feel more at ease. "Good boy, Ringo." I took a deep breath and opened my eyes ready to face the world this time.

There was a dog in my face, and I only knew it was a dog because I was so familiar with soft the touch of Ringo's fur beneath my fingers. He was cute with a button shaped snout, floppy ears, and a tail wagging violently back and forth. "Look at you, buddy!" Again my vision became misty with tears. "I _see _you!"

"You see?" The person still holding me spoke. "You can see?"

I dared myself to look up, ignoring all the other foreign sights surrounding me, I caught the eyes of someone very special. There was Brian also laughing and crying as he held me. "Roger, you're looking right at me!" His lips moved as he spoke, his hazel eyes locking with mine. Wait a minute...Hazel?

"I see and I see in color!" I cried. "I must be dreaming!" But my rare dreams with color and sight were never this detailed. The images were fuzzy and abstract. Everything I saw in front of me now was sharp and clear.

"You can see!" Brian proclaimed as I stared at his face, the first face I've seen in my life, with awe. 

"I see you." I whispered. "You're right in front of me...and I see you." I never thought this would happen. I was still stunned in disbelief, unable to move from my fallen position in my soulmate's arms.

One last time, I shut my eyes again, and reopened them. Waiting for that dreaded darkness to return. It didn't. The face in front of me was real. It was Brian. He was here and I could see him.

Out of habit, I touched his face, but this was so different than when I did it blindly. I was able to examine each of the features my hand explored. "Eyebrows." "Cheeks." "Nose." "Mouth." "Chin." I now had a visual aid to assist me with what my hand was grasping. I was able to recognize these things by touch, but now by sight it was like learning a foreign language.

"How are you feeling?" Brian asked. "Do you like what you see?"

"I love what I see." I said unable to look away from him. His eyes were soft, his smile wide, and his hair... "It's so curly and puffy oh my gosh I love it! It's adorable!" I grasped at it.

"Ow! Roger! Careful! Don't pull my hair out!"

"Sorry." I removed my hand from his head. "I'm so sorry. This must be weird for you...You know all this stuff and I-I this is my first time...seeing _everything_!! Wow! There's so many things! I wanna see all the things!" I was able to sit up and my surroundings seemed less overbearing and more exciting. New didn't necessarily mean frightening.

"What time is it?" Brian tilted his wrist and casted his eyes down at a circular object with foreign markings. "Perfect. It's almost sunset. You and I are going to watch the sunset and go stargazing. I refuse to let you miss that on your very first night with vision. We'll have a great view from the balcony in our room. Did Freddie tell you he booked us a shared room?"

"It was a surprise." I said not taking in Brian's words so much as I was the sight of him and the way his lips moved when he spoke. Without having to guess if I was anywhere close, I was able to lean in and land a kiss on those soft lips. I tried to keep my eyes open as we kissed so I could see the action in process, but they involuntarily closed.

"I'm not blind anymore." I cried, opening and shutting my eyes, repeatedly letting in bits of light in the process. "I see light! I see color! I see everything!" This time I kept my eyes open and rested them on Brian's face again. "I see you!" I threw my arms around him kissing him again and again.

"There will be plenty of time for more kisses I promise but I don't want you to miss the sunset. C'mon Roggie."

Brian helped me up. I watched his long legs move as he walked. My limbs weren't as long as Brian's and I felt envious. He kept calling me beautiful, but there was no way I could be as attractive as him. He reminded me of the descriptions I'd read of Greek gods--so tall and handsome with cascading locks of dark curly hair. It was like the words of a page brought to life before my very eyes. And this perfect man was my soulmate!

"What's that?" I asked as Brian leant down to pick up a red object that was irregularly shaped and strange looking.

"This is my guitar."

My eyes widened. "That's the Special?" I wondered what my drum kit looked like if a guitar seemed so out of place.

"I never realized it was red until now. Look at that! I guess it's the Red Special now." Brian marveled as if this was his first time seeing the instrument as well. He looked up at me admirably. "Of course it pales in comparison to how special you are."

"Really? But it was the last thing your dad left for you and you spent all that time recreating it and making new ones? That's why you call it the Special because it's so bloody special." I rejected the compliment.

"I see color now because of you, Roger. You bring me so much joy. I love you." Brian told me making me blush. I refrained from screaming because I didn't want to ruin the perfect moment between us.

"I love you too, Brian. I really do...And I wanna scream so bad."

His crooked grin killed me. "Just this once we'll scream together." Brian declared. "On 3, we both scream. Ready? 1, 2, 3...."

"AAAAAAAHHH!" I felt alive and truly in love screaming at the top of my lungs. This was paradise.

***

"These are elevators." Brian explained pointing to the series of doors we were approaching.

"You mean lifts?" I clarified.

"Yes back home they're called lifts. I refer to them as elevators now. I've been in America too long. I'm starting to become a Yankee myself. Anyway, this is the button you press to get them to open for you." I looked in wonder at the circular object. "Either up or down. See, the arrows indicate which is which. We're going up to our room so--"

"--Let me push it!" I eagerly pressed down on the up arrow button no longer having to rely on the braille description beneath it. "This is so cool!" I giggled.

"I never knew I could feel so complete just watching someone get excited over an elevator." Brian remarked, ruffling a hand through my hair lovingly.

"Lift." I corrected with a teasing kiss to his jaw. "I'm not dating an American, Brian."

"Dating? Does this mean we're boyfriends now? Because I want that to be the next step for us. Are you comfortable with that, Roger?"

"We're soulmates. Of course we're dating and of course you're my boyfriend." I said matter-of-factly. On the inside I was squealing with a satisfaction I never knew I could achieve. I was so high right now and I never wanted to come down from cloud 9.

Inside the lift were more buttons like the ones outside. Only these weren't marked with arrows. The symbols matched the ones on Brian's bracelet. "What do those markings mean?" I asked. "They're just like the ones on your wrist."

"They're numbers. This is a watch on my wrist. It also has numbers."

"Ohhh. Yeah that makes sense. I have a braille watch that I like to wear but I think I forgot to pack it. I don't think I need it anymore. So this is what a person with vision sees when I read numbers in braille?"

"Typically yes although sometimes people use Roman numerals which are different symbols. We're going to the 3rd floor, so button number 3 is for us." Brian pushed it as I examined the squiggly symbol of the number 3.

"Shit! I'm illiterate." I realized. Here I was approaching 25 years old and I was no smarter than a toddler. And my boyfriend had a PhD and was the most brilliant person I knew. I wanted this with all of my heart, but for the first time since my sight returned, my smile faded.

"No you're not. Illiterate means you can't read or write. You can read in braille and with the proper tools you can write in braille as well. You'll just have to learn. It's like a foreign language. Just because I can't read and write in Japanese doesn't mean I'm illiterate because I'm able to read and write in English." Brian reasoned. "And I'll be here by your side to help you every step of the way to learn everything."

"Thank you for being so patient and caring with me. I hope I'm not annoying you with all these dumb questions." I told him.

"No. I'm here to help. And you're so adorable. I want you to experience the world. Watching you see and learn about things for the very first time is priceless. I wouldn't reject it for the world." Brian leaned down and planted a kiss on my cheek.

We made our way to our hotel room 3900. There was just so much to take in from the patterned carpet on the floor to the paint on the wall and even the fluorescent lights up ahead. Somehow though my eyes kept wandering back to Brian and glancing down at our interlocked hands as we walked. I wiggled my fingers against his palm confirming that I was really seeing our hands together. "My hand fits in yours so perfectly." I observed. "It does." Brian nodded.

"Do you think that means _other_ _things_ will fit perfectly?" I asked suggestively.

"Roger!" Brian scolded. "At least wait until we're in our room please!"

"Excuse me for trying to be romantic." I laughed. "So...is that a yes to those _other things_?"

Brian rolled his eyes as he opened the door to rom 3900. The woman at the front desk was correct; the room was very spacious. Most of the fixtures were brand new to my eyes, so the only thing I recognized was the window and balcony with a view of the sky Brian had been describing.

"Are those beds?" I asked pointing to the white square masses that took up most of the room space.

"Those are beds." Brian confirmed.

"Can we push them together?" I asked tentatively.

"That's a really good idea. It'll give us more space for those..._other things_ you'd like to try." Brian turned back to me giving me a look that made me want to melt. He cleared his throat and looked away clearly embarrassed which was super cute. "I um don't want you to miss out on the sunset though. So why don't I push the beds together while you have a seat out on the balcony? There's chairs out there."

"C'mon, Ringo. Let's go outside." I instructed walking with the dog over to the balcony while getting distracted by certain things in the room on my journey. Thankfully, Brian had no problem identifying things for me. "What's that?" "That's the TV." "What's that?" "That's your suitcase." "What's that?" "That's a drawer."

I screamed when I spotted someone's face looming above the drawer. "Fuck! Bri! Bri! We're not alone! There's a person's face! It's just a face! A floating face! It's a demon!"

"Roger, calm down. That's your reflection. It's a mirror." When Brian stepped forward I saw his face also appear above the drawer only his neck and a bit of his chest showed up as well. He reached up and lowered the mirror so that our full bodies were visible.

"That's less creepy." I sighed watching the person next to Brian sigh as well. "So this is me?" His lips moved insync with mine. He was my reflection indeed. I leaned forward to get a better look at myself."That's you." Brian confirmed as I examined the image.

"My eyes are blue." I noted surprised at how naturally color was added to my vocabulary. They say that the words for color would become common knowledge without any thought after finding your soulmate. I just never thought it would apply to me. Sandy blonde hair tasseled messily down my shoulders."What's this?" I touched the reddish scratch on my forehead. It was small but stood out because it wasn't a part of the body I could identify.

"That's from when you hit your head."Brian leaned down to give the spot a tender kiss. "It'll heal soon, but what's a tiny imperfection on an otherwise perfect face."

I tilted my head really staring at the image before me. How could my own face be a stranger to me? I opened my mouth taking a look at my teeth and sticking out my tongue. "I've got nice teeth." I admired. "Mom was right. I didn't need braces like Clare. Of course Dad wouldn't bother paying to get my teeth fixed up if they were bad so what does it matter." Looking at my teeth I reached another conclusion. "I can be a dentist now!" I shouted.

"Yes!" Brian seemed just as eager as me. "You can do whatever you want. I'm so excited for you. I can't wait for you to achieve all your dreams. You can learn how to drive too just like you've always wanted."

"C-Can we scream again?" I bounced on the heels of my feet enthusiastically not sure what else to do with all this thrilling energy.

"Honey, you just got your eyes back. Don't lose your voice."

"I'm gonna scream." I warned giving Brian time to cover his ears. Then I screamed again, jumping up and down as I considered all the new opportunities for me. It was limitless! "I'm so fucking happy!" I yelled. "And I'm gonna SCREAM about it!"

"We're gonna get a noise complaint call from downstairs." Brian remarked. "But it's worth it to see you like this! Come here, baby." He put his arms around me and situated us back in front of the mirror. "Take in how good you look. This is your first time seeing yourself and you need to know how beautiful you are."

"Me? What about you, Brimi? Look at you!" I pointed to his reflection. Then I took in the entire image. "Look at _us_!"

"We do look good together, don't we, love?" He hugged me tighter.

A change in the color of the sky caught my attention. It was no longer blue like my eyes, but a reddish pink. "Ooh! What's that?" I ran to the balcony, failing to notice the glass door in the way because it was see-through. "Oof!" I smacked right into it just like I had the door of the chapel. Same spot too. Damn! "Some things never change." I sighed. "Still clumsy as anything."

"Still cute as a badger." Brian said. "Let me get you some ice for that."

The sky was changing and I watched every moment mesmerized as the nearly blinding sphere of light settled lower. "The sun." I realized. "It's so beautiful! I've never seen anything like it...Well I've never really seen anything at all."

"Don't look directly at it unless you want to go blind again."

"Fuck! Is that a real thing that could happen?" I shut my eyes. "I won't look. It's not worth it to lose my sight again."

I flinched when a cold substance was applied to my forehead. "It's okay, Roger. It's just ice, and you can open your eyes again. Just don't stare directly at the sun for too long. Come. Sit with me."

I opened my eyes and took the bag filled with ice cubes from Brian and held it up against my bruise. "Ice doesn't have color." I noted. "Weird."

Brian sat down at one of the chairs overlooking the ledge. He gestured for me to sit as well most likely on the other chair, but I purposefully misinterpreted what he meant by the wordless direction. Instead I situated myself on his lap.

"I said sit _with_ me, not on me, Rog."

"Is this chair?" I asked innocently. "I'm not really sure what chairs look like. Certainly feels like a chair and a comfy chair at that. In fact I'll go as far as to say that I'm in love with this chair."

"Alright fine you can sit on my lap if you want to. Now stop looking at me! There's a sunset right in front of us. I've never seen it in color before."

"I've never seen it all." I said torn between which beautiful sight my new eyes should be exploring. "Meh. Sunsets happen every evening. I don't think it could be as good looking as you."

"Likewise." Brian said tearing his eyes away from the sky.

Just like that, the sunset was long forgotten and we started making out frantically like teenagers. "Let's do this every night for the rest of our lives!" I declared, my eyes once again fluttering shut as I lunged in for another deep kiss. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep them open when our lips were locked.

After we parted for air, I noticed that the balcony had gotten darker, but I could still see. I turned back to the ledge noticing a new sphere of light that was much easier on the eyes than the sun. "The moon!" Tiny dots of lights littered the blackened sky. "Stars!" I stood up and walked over to the ledge, resting my chin atop the railing as I stared up at the sky in awe. Oh how I had been missing out my entire life! These twinkling figures were so lovely giving the sky a sort of sparkle. "So magical!" I exclaimed. "Does this display of lights really happen every night?"

"Each and every night." Brian said. "They're constant enough to track. Do you want me to show you?"

"Yes please."

He took my hand and guided it up. "Those clusters right there, do you see them? They make up a constellation called Scorpius. They look like a scorpion that's where the name comes from."

I squinted trying to see the formation of stars but they all seemed like a giant blinking cluster of lights indistinguishable from each other. I pretended like I saw it because Brian was so pleased spreading his knowledge about the constellations.

One star did catch my attention out of the masses. "That one's moving!" It was leaping through the sky!

"Roger, you found a shooting star! Although they're actually meteors and not stars, but it's nonetheless magnificent to see one! Make a wish!"

Instead of wishing, I gave my soulmate a kiss beneath the starry sky. I didn't need to make a wish because it had already come true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a loooong chapter but I hope it was worthwhile! It was fun to write. Roger can finally see and he and Brian are together! Hooray!!! Hope you guys liked it. Let me know what you think? Next chapter: Roger will get to see Freddie and Deaky and everyone else for the first time and wedding hijinks alongside fluffy Maylor continues. Stay tuned!


	6. Look Around Around Around...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie invites Roger to crash Veronica's bridal shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut in this chapter because I don't write smut even though I got some requests for it. Sorry. I don't feel comfortable writing that stuff, but there are plenty of implications of what our love birds were up to the night before. Please feel free to use your imagination to picture the explicit scene which I've left out...
> 
> Also side note I know way too many Karens in my life so I need to give her another cameo in one of my stories. Be prepared😂

I sat on the balcony again, watching the mesmerizing sunrise. The sky brightened turning a brilliant sandy shade of reddish orange. My eyes watered because I was trying so hard not to blink and miss a single second of it. "So cool!" I whispered, completely captivated by the site. Strange white structures floated around the sun. When Brian woke up I'd ask him what they were, but for now I remained a curious observer.

A yawn from back in the room caught my attention but I still didn't look away from the sky. "Roggie?" That voice was enough to tear me away. I turned back inside. Brian sat up rubbing the sleep out of his eyes looking around for me rather frantically. Awe. My baby missed me! We locked eyes and I nearly melted. "There you are! Why are you up so early, love?"

"The sun is coming up!" I pointed to the sky.

"Mhmm. That happens every morning. Pretty sight. I prefer the sunsets though because it means the stars will follow." Brian yawned again. "How'd you sleep?"

"Oh I didn't. I was up all night just _looking _at everything and watching you sleep." I replied. I double checked that the glass door was open before stepping back inside. I was not going to make the same mistake of banging my head again.

"You watched me sleep?" Brian asked.

Crap! That sounded really creepy. "Um...well...You're cute. And I can _see _you! You know! I've never seen someone sleep before. I was just admiring how you looked while you were asleep. You understand, right? I'm not a creep or anything like that."

"No, it's fine...flattering even." Oh God! He was so adorable! Especially when he just woke up and his curls were particularly unruly. "I suppose after what we did last night, nothing is off limits. I unplugged the phone before I went to bed so we wouldn't get woken up by noise complaint reports." Brian said and I watched in awe as he replugged the phone.

"So that's a phone." I marveled.

"One type of phone. This one is old fashioned. Not a cellphone." He put the device to his ear. "Shit! We have 39 messages...And all of them are noise complaints. Go figure."

"C-Can I hear?" I asked. It was an odd request, but I was just curious. Brian handed me the phone and I put it to my ear. "...sounds of sexual activities. Please keep in mind that there are families with children staying at the hotel as well. _Next message. _Hello, room 3900, we've received complaints of a woman screaming from your room. So please try to keep the noise down. Thank you. _Next message. _Yes, this is for room 3900. Someone complained they heard a lot of shouting and possible inappropriate noises in your room. Be respectful to the other guests. _Next message. _Good evening, room 3910, we've received complaints of loud explicit behavior overheard from your room. Please try to refrain from screaming about your partner's size and if you do have sexual intercourse, do so more quietly...Oh wait. This is going to room 3900. I'm so sorry. This message was meant for the room next door."

"That's Freddie and Jim's room." I laughed and hung up the phone sick of these messages. "At least we're not alone. It seems like they were also busy not sleeping last night."

"Oh! You're going to see them today." Brian grinned.

At first I didn't realize why he was so excited and then I put two and two together. I was going to _see_ everyone!

"Fred's total eye candy. He looks like an exotic prince, handsome as anything. And he dresses flamboyantly too. So that's always fun." Brian said.

"Jim's a lucky guy, but I'm sure he's pretty handsome too." I reasoned. "What about Deaky?"

"Cute as a button, a total babe."

"That seems about right. He sounds cute, sweetest little voice." I cooed. Oh Deaky was going to be so thrilled that I could finally see him. Everyone was going to be excited! I couldn't wait to tell them all.

"Of course no one holds a candle to you." Brian said. "You've got them all topped in terms of looks." He got out of bed and gave me a good morning kiss.

"I want to start off every morning just like this every day for the rest of my life." I said wholeheartedly.

"That can be arranged." He replied.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed Brian again more passionately, but then I remembered I had morning breath and pulled away a bit shyly. I observed as Brian readied himself for the day. It was all so fascinating. Hopefully he wasn't put off by my stares, but his grin suggested otherwise. 

"Are you're sure you don't find this creepy?" I confirmed as I watched Brian's every move, slowly gathering more knowledge--Like what toothbrushes and hair combs look like. Brian spit out the toothpaste meeting my eyes in the mirror. "Your pretty blue eyes looking at me? How is that anything but endearing?"

"Have I told you that you're the best because you're the best." I declared wrapping my arms around him from behind.

I caught a fleeting glimpse of the badger tattoo on Brian's back as he put on a shirt. Shame that thing almost killed him because it looked damn good. Well everything looked good to me and I was especially partial to Brian.

"Alright my turn." Brian said plopping down onto the bed.

"Your turn for what?" I questioned.

"I get to watch you now."

It was only fair, but I suddenly felt self conscious. I was going to be much slower at getting ready. I picked up the toothbrush that wasn't Brian's checking the side for the braille marking label just to be on the safe side. "Whoa! This is so much easier now that I can see where the faucet is. No more messes I have to clean up." I realized. With almost no effort was able to find everything I needed and get myself freshened up and ready for the day in record time. It was amazing how snappy I had become! It took me about 6 minutes instead of half an hour. Sure I sort of experienced these mundane routines to keep up personal hygiene with sight when we had showered last night after our...strenuous activities, but my focus was more on the person in the shower with me rather than the action itself. Now I was doing all of this by myself in the light of day with perfect vision and no distractions.

"Your smile is contagious." Brian remarked.

"I'm just on a really high high right now." I told him. "I never thought I'd be able to experience all of these little things. You probably think I'm strange 'cause who gets this excited over brushing their teeth and shit, but for me...Well I guess I'm like a child doing everything for the very first time. I hope that doesn't get annoying because it could--" I lost my train of thought when my eyes came across the keychain on my suitcase. John got me that lucky keychain for my birthday a while ago and told me it resembled a car. Until now I was just able to feel it.

"Ohmygod! Brimi, Brimi, Brimi, is this what a four wheeled friend looks like?"

"Calm down, Rog!" Brian laughed. "I was planning on taking you downstairs to the parking garage later so you could see all the cars, but I'm scared you might have a sheer heart attack."

"Yeah...I think I'll pass out." I answered breathily. "S-sorry."

"Will you please stop apologizing! You're finally living, Roggie, and I get to share all these special moments with you. And if you think I can't handle your sprightliness I'll have you know I grew up with Freddie and that man never stops. Although you're giving him a run for his money."

"I haven't even had my coffee yet." I said, not wanting to scare him away, but still warning him regardless. I was very particular about my coffee. No cream and 1 and 3/7th sugars. I'd be able to taste if it wasn't done right. Although maybe now that my sight was back my other strong senses would start to dim.

Taking full advantage of my new eyes I glanced back and forth between Brian and the clothes I had packed in my suitcase. Brian was wearing a plain black shirt and blue jeans. I found a plain black shirt and a pair of blue jeans available for me to wear. It was meant to be!

"We're matching!" Brian noted.

"Really?" I gasped. "I hadn't noticed. Should I change?"

"No. Stay like that." Brian took my hand. "This way everyone will know that we're together."

"And together we'll stay." I declared.

***

"That looks like vomit." I said to the bowl of mush Brian was eating. The eggs and bacon on my plate appeared much more appetizing.

Brian frowned. "It's oatmeal and how do you know what vomit looks like?"

"If I had to guess I would say it looked like that." I figured.

"Would it kill you to be healthy for once?" Brian sighed as I munched on my bacon. With a giggle, I took the strip of bacon and placed it beneath my nose. "Is this what a mustache looks like?"

"Rog! Gross! Don't play with your dead pig food."

I laughed, but then I noticed something--people around us. They were staring. Some even looked outright disgusted. Ah, so this is what self awareness felt like. I put the food back on my plate and returned to eating like a normal person. It was much easier to use cutlery. Maybe I could finally figure out how to use chopsticks if we ever went out for Chinese food. Brian would bitch about it not being vegan, but I refused to give up my favorite type of food even for my soulmate. He could just order side veggies or something.

Brian put up his hand up and made a weird waving gesture. I turned to where he was looking. An older man with greying hair mimicked the movement. He was walking over to us. "Do we know him?" I whispered.

"Roger, that's Miami!"

"Miami?" I gasped. "You're seeable!"

The lawyer dropped his tray and I leapt to help him clean up the mess. I was the master of cleaning up spilled things and it was 10x easier now that I could see what I was doing. I shooed Ringo out of the way as he tried to eat some of the dropped food.

"Roger?" Miami asked in a stunned voice. "You can see?"

"Yes! It's a miracle!" I beamed. I stood back up and handed the now empty tray back to Miami. "Hi." Much to my surprise, he put the tray back down on the table and hugged me.

"Oh! This is is wonderful! How did this happen? I think I know but I don't want to make assumptions." He looked back at Brian.

"I see in color." Brian announced innocently with a shy smile. He took my hand as I sat back down.

"Heaven help me, between you two and Freddie and Jim soon all my baby boys are going to be married men, aren't they?" Miami laughed appearing almost teary eyed. "Oh they grow up so fast! Congratulations to the two of you. I was hoping this would happen, and it seems like my prayers have been answered. Welcome to the family, Roger."

"Miami, it's still too soon for any of that. This week is about Deaky and Ronnie, not us." Brian dismissed. I was too touched by Miami's sentiments to worry about what Brian wanted long term. Miami did mean it when he called me son the other day. It wasn't just a slip of the tongue. I felt so honored and blessed. I just tried my hardest not to cry again. Who knew how emotionally draining this trip would be?

"Well I'm going to try to get breakfast again. I'll leave you two lovebirds alone." Miami said as he picked up his tray and went back to the buffet.

"So I was thinking of taking you to the beach today after you've seen everyone." Brian said. "Does that sound like fun? Deaky might join us. Of course Freddie will be at Ronnie's bridal shower with all the girls. Maybe Jim will come too if Freddie doesn't dress him in drag and force the poor bloke to crash the bridal shower."

Even if I could see it now, the thought of the ocean still terrified me. I couldn't swim. So many things could go wrong. What if I got eaten by a shark? No thank you. "Oh Brimi, I'd love to, but I didn't pack a bathing suit."

"That's okay. I think it's mandatory for hotels this close to the beach to sell swimsuits in their gift shop. My goodness, I could spend an entire afternoon watching you model for me. I don't know what seeing you in swim trunks would do to me."

_'I hope you get a good look because it could be the last time you ever see me before a wave crashes down on me and I die.' _Okay, that thought was a little bit morbid, but the ocean was giving me serious anxiety.

"Is everything alright, Roggie? You've gone awfully quiet, and that pretty smile of yours is all gone." Brian noticed.

"Just thinking." I sighed. Not a lie. Should I tell Brian about my fears? Would he laugh at me? It was so stupid. Everyone went to the beach and these stories you'd hear were so very rare. What were the odds of getting stung by a poisonous jellyfish? It was much more likely that I'd drown...

"Roger, you're scaring me. What's on your mind, love?" Brian asked with concern.

This was dumb. I should just suck it up and tell him. "I don't know how to sw--"

"--Good morning, my darlings! How did you sleep? Trick question. I know you didn't. The walls are thin and Jim and I were right next door. We were _both _getting down and making love it seems. We got about 12 noise complaints. What about you? Roger was much louder so I bet you got more. I could hear that scream from miles and miles away. BRIAN! BRIAN! AAAAH! Oh it was glorious! I am so happy for you two! I bet you finally saw stars, huh Roggie?"

Freddie fucking Mercury. He had the most mysterious sparkling black eyes that were all consuming as he laughed jovially. Long black locks framed his face and cascaded down to his shoulders. My jaw dropped. What an image!

"Roger, I think you're rubbing off on me." Brian said as he took a piece of bacon from my plate and threw it at Freddie's face. "Don't ever mimic Roger's love noises again! They're for my ears and my ears only. Got it, Fred?"

"Oh, darling, play nice! I'm happy for you! Brian, do you see in color? Was I right? Are you two meant to be? Hardly seems that way now 'cause Roger has forgotten all about you and is drooling over me like it's his first time seeing m--OH MY GOD!" Freddie had thankfully put his tray down so he didn't spill it like Miami had. "Roger! You're looking directly at me, lovie! Can you see? Please say yes!"

"Yes!" My voice was just a whisper. The overwhelming smile on my caring friend's face was too much for me to handle, but I couldn't look away from Freddie or look away from anything.

"I KNEW IT!" Freddie proclaimed, throwing his arms around me. "Darling, look at me, I'm crying! You made me cry! Oh I'm so happy for you. This is such a beautiful love story. One I'll tell to my children and cats and grandchildren and grandkittens and they'll pass it onto the next generation. You were blind, but love made you see the light! How miraculous!"

Another man approached our table with a tray. He was much paler than Freddie, but he had a kind face with a bushy mustache that put my bacon mustache to shame. "What's all this talk about children and kittens?"

"Jim!" I gasped recognizing the Irish accent.

"He can see! He can see!" Freddie shouted. "I was right all along. Finding his soulmate would do the trick!"

"Really?" Jim looked at me, his smile only growing wider when we made direct eye contact. "Is it true, Roger? Can you see?"

I nodded. "I can see!" Saying those words still didn't make any of this feel real. It was like I was in a blissful dream.

"We need to celebrate!" Freddie applauded. "Roger, darling, you're prettier than any girl I know. Don't tell Mary or she'll kill me. Anyway, what do you say I dress you up real nice and have you crash Ronnie's bridal shower with me? Won't that be a spectacle! You'll be the life of the party. I can guarantee it!"

"You're right, Freddie. Roger is the fairest of them all." Brian said. "But we already have plans for today. We're going to the be--"

"--Rain check!" I blurted, desperate to get out of the beach. "I can't turn down an opportunity to crash a bridal shower!"

"That's the spirit! You're going to be a killer queen, my dear!" Freddie tilted his head in consideration. "Oh yes! I can see it now. You'll have a pretty little bow in your hair and everything. You and I need to go on a shopping spree to get you a miniskirt that'll fit properly!"

Brian choked on his oatmeal. "Freddie, Roger is not your human Barbie doll. Besides, I don't think Ronnie will appreciate having him crash."

"Somebody's jealous!" Freddie sang. "Don't worry, Brimi, my darling, I'll have Roger back to you in one piece so you can ravish him all over again tonight."

"Freddie, you can't just say these things so loudly in public!" Brian cried. The mortified look on his face told the truth and brought about sweet memories of being ravished last night...

"It's part of Freddie's charm." Jim reasoned putting his arm around his boyfriend. "It's adorable really."

"Oh my love. I don't deserve you." Freddie said. "Are you sure you don't want to crash the party with me?"

"I think it's healthy to spend some time apart." Jim said but quickly corrected himself when Freddie's face sunk. "I love you, honey, but I'm not dressing in drag and crashing your sister-in-law's bridal shower. My answer is no, no matter how much you bat your eyelashes and serenade me."

Freddie nodded in reluctant acceptance. "Guess it's just you and me, then, Rog. What do you say?"

Anything to get out of the scary beach. "Sure. It sounds like fun. Let's do it!"

"Roger Taylor, you have no idea what you've just agreed to." Brian shook his head. "I'm praying for you, love. Say, Jim, would you be interested in going to the beach with me and Deaky since Freddie and Roger will be unavailable?"

"Oh! Yes. I've been looking forward to going to the beach since I've gotten here." Jim said. "I brought a frisbee."

"Ringo loves to play frisbee." I said. "You know I don't really need him by my side 24/7 anymore. I think he'd like the beach much better than a party. Why don't you take him for the day?" I gave the dog an affectionate pet. "I know you'll miss me, bud, but you'll have fun at the beach with Brimi and company."

He barked and I realized that I was so excited about everything that I had forgotten to take him out for a walk this morning. "Oh you probably need to go! C'mon." I rose from my seat to take him outside. "I'lll be back in a few minutes. No one eat my bacon while I'm gone! I'll be able to tell because I can see it!"

"Don't you need to take a bag with you?" Brian stopped me.

"Um no." Being blind came with absolutely no perks, so I had to be creative in how I created advantages. One such benefit was being able to pretend that I didn't know Ringo had pooped so I didn't have to pick up after him. I probably couldn't get away with that anymore.

"I told you I was no angel, but you refused to believe me." I said with a shrug walking away shamelessly without a bag.

Then karma kicked me in the ass. I walked right into someone holding their tray, and I fell down. Food splattered all over me. To make matters worse, I let go of the leash in the process. Ringo tried to run to the door, but couldn't make it outside in time. He relieved himself on the carpet.

"Damn it!" I swore. The dog bowed his head whimpering apologetically. "No, buddy, don't be like that. I didn't mean to yell." I tried to wipe away the mess of egg and home fries that was all over my shirt. I removed another larger flat object from my head. The touch of the fluffy food told me it was bread. I looked it over curiously memorizing its look.

"I'm so, so sorry! Here, Rog, let me help you up." I knew that voice! I looked up meeting concerned grey eyes. Deaky had gentle features and flowing auburn brown hair, longer than Freddie's. Brian was right, he was very adorable.

"Roger?"

"Hi John." I grinned taking his helping hand without being told where it was. "It's good to see you."

"Y-You...Rog, I don't understand. Can you...Can you see me?" The quivering smile on Deaky's lips was hesitant as if he also feared this was too good to be true.

"It was finally my turn to touch my soulmate for the first time....and now I-I see it all!" The tears were creeping back again. Don't get me wrong, my heart soared when I offered John the good luck he needed to meet Ronnie, and I was thoroughly delighted when Freddie met Jim. But having my own chance at this kind of magic, was something indescribable.

"Roger! This is unbelievable!" Deaky squealed. "I mean we were all praying that you and Brian...Oh! All this time I was worried that this wouldn't happen when you touched and that you weren't soulmates, but I should have just trusted Freddie. He was right all along...Wait. Bri's the one, right?"

"Yes, silly. Who else would it be?" I said. Out of the corner of my new eye, I could see the curly haired man cleaning up after Ringo for me. Yes, he was the one. Anyone willing to clean up dog shit for me was a keeper.

Deaky started to laugh. "What's so funny?" I asked simultaneously still watching Brian. "Oh Roger, you've got ketchup in your hair!" Deaky laughed, wiping the mess away with a napkin. I was hardly paying attention to him anymore. "And egg on your face...And love in your eyes."

***

"Is that me?" I asked staring into the mirror. Her pink lips moved as I spoke. Her mascaraed eyes fluttered shut and reopened as I blinked. Yes, she was me, and I was her. "What's this?" The girl in the mirror touched the decoration atop her pristine blonde hair.

"That's a bow, Goldilocks." Freddie said. "Now hold still, darling." He gave me another spritz of hairspray. "And now we are finally finished! Rogerina has arrived! What do you think? I told you you were a natural beauty, my dear."

"It's perfect!" I exclaimed standing up and spinning around. Ronnie called for a more formal dress code with nothing above the knees because her grandmother would be attending (much to Freddie's dismay), so instead of the mini skirt as planned I was wearing a pink cocktail dress. Freddie--excuse me _Melina _was wearing a matching red dress. He had fashioned his hair into what he described as a beehive style that was sure to bring Ronnie's grandmother back to the days of her youth. Of course this led to a series of questions. "Is that what a beehive looks like? What do bees look like?"

"Curious as a kitten." Freddie laughed. "You have much to learn, my darling. Let me take you under my wing."

Before heading out, Freddie placed something around my neck. My hands explored the little white circles and I recognized the accessory as a pearl necklace, like the one Clare would sometimes wear.

"This belonged to my Mama." Freddie told me. "I think you deserve to wear it to the party, Roger. I know you're a little bit nervous about going out without Ringo for the first time and a bit jittery in general, but you needn't be. This necklace will bring you good luck in your debut as Rogerina. You just allow yourself to shine, my dear. It's impossible for anyone not to love you."

Those words made me think of my father. He forbade me from ever going to parties and social events. I had to fight just to get my job at the library because Dad wanted me cooped up at home 24/7. He said he was doing that out of love because society wouldn't accept me, but I knew he was just embarrassed by my very existence.

As outrageous as Freddie was, he could be quite nurturing at times. I hope he and Jim do have kids some day.I was touched by the gift knowing itssignificance. I vowed to keep it safe and return it to Freddie by the end of the night.

"Now lets go crash a party!" I shouted. "I'm gonna get shitfaced for the first time. Woohoo!"

"I promised Brian I'd take good care of you. So I'm going to make sure you're the most beautiful drunk girl at the party!"Freddie proclaimed.

So off we went—two gals ready to tear up the town! We ventured downstairs into one of the ballrooms rented out for a private event.

"Freddie!" Mary gasped. "I thought Ronnie was joking when she said you'd show up in drag. Who's your friend? I've never seen her before. She's stunning. Hi I'm Mary, Freddie and Veronica's good friend." She stuck out her hand for me to shake as if we hadn't met. She was genuinely fooled.

"Haven't you met Regina?" Freddie went along with it. Rogerina was too obvious it seemed. "She's Veronica's cousin."

Mary frowned. "I thought all of Ronnie's cousins were accounted for."

"I'm Veronica's third cousin twice removed whom she never speaks of." I blurted pitching my voice even higher than usual.

"Right." Mary said skeptically. "You two are the last to arrive, but I should be expecting that from you, Freddie."

"Call me Melina, darling. And now that I'm here the party can commence!"

Ronnie rushed over to greet Freddie. Then she looked me over curiously. "You look awfully familiar. A lot like my friend Roger Taylor." She winked. "This party is for girls only, but I would have made an exception for him alongside Freddie of course. You know he just got his eye sight back and he deserves to see all of us and join the party!"

"Don't you remember, Ronnie, this is your cousin Regina!" Freddie seemed to be getting a kick out of this stunt so I allowed it to continue.

"I know it's been a while, cuz, but I thought you would recognize me." I said. I handed over my gift which was a last minute mug from the hotel gift shop.

"Of course! Now I remember you, Cousin Regina. Welcome! Thank you for coming all this way!" Ronnie played along.

Freddie and I were seated at a table with Mary, some of Ronnie's real cousins, and her friends from school. I was just grateful we weren't seated with Aunt Karen who took the kids here. I could hear her complaints from the adjacent table. "Will there be gluten free chicken nuggets for my daughter, Ashley? Make sure the children are only served virgin mimosas. I don't want to have to invite the hotel manager to the bridal shower."

"Enough, Auntie! We're here to have fun. Did everyone sign the guestbook? If not, my sister is passing it around with a pen. I look forward to reading all of your messages of love."

I couldn't sign. I watched with dismay as even the young cousins at the other table, most likely under the age of 10 were all able to write their names at the very least. "Ashley would like to sign with a sharpie instead of a pen." Aunt Karen blurted. Poor kid. I felt sorry for her having a mom like that.

Finally the book reached our table. I decided to give this mimosa a try. Now was a good time as any to get drunk. It was fruity and bubbly not all what I expected. I liked it and sipped some more as Freddie scribbled something in the book covering his teeth with his other hand as he laughed.

"What did you say?" I wondered.

"Oh darling, it's much too dirty for me to read aloud even for my own standards. You'll have to read it for yourself."

I took another chug of the mimosa, finishing the glass as the book was skipped over me and moved onto the next table.

"You might want to slow down with the drinks, Roger." Mary warned.

"Oh so now you recognize me?" I completely forgot to talk higher but my voice was girly enough already. I felt any reservations or filters completely leave me behind as I began the second glass of mimosa. "I don't give a shit if I sound like a girl or if I'm mistaken for a girl cause you know what I've got eyes that can see and a man who loves me."

"Cheers to that!" Freddie clinked our glasses together. Now that the book was forgotten, I didn't drink as much from the refill. Although I feared the damage was done.

"Okay it's time for our first party game!" Ronnie announced.

Cards were passed around to everyone at the table as we nibbled away at our food. I examined the card in front of me that seemed to come with a coin taped to the back of it.

"These are custom made bridal shower scratch off cards. Use the coin to scratch them and you'll see a picture of someone's face. Every card has a celebrity except for 1 that has the groom. The lucky winner gets their very own engagement ring pop candy!"

"Is that gluten free?"

"Shut up, woman!" I shouted. Yeah I was drunk. Freddie laughed and Mary shook her head.

"What did you just say to me, bitch? Who even are you? Do you have any relations to the bride whatsoever? I'm her favorite Aunt so—"

"—No, Auntie Karen. Auntie Olivia is my favorite. Rog—Regina is the reason we're all here because h—she introduced me to John. And please don't swear in front of the kids and Grandma Nora. You can't use the kidzbop excuse this time because they're clearly listening to you and not music."

I gave Ronnie a standing ovation for her rant. Freddie was quick to join me just so I wouldn't look awkward doing it on my own. It was strange how now I could gauge people's judgements. Before I didn't know if anyone was watching, but now I could feel their eyes penetrating me. It was a scary thing having people look at me. Hopefully I wouldn't let this newfound fear get in the way of my best man speech.

I followed the others, using the coin to slowly scratch away at the card and reveal a face. People laughed in recognition of their celebrity. "Look it's Ed Sheeran!" "Haha! I got Kanye West!"

All I knew was that I hadn't gotten Deaky. I was unfamiliar with the face. It was someone handsome. "Ooh Chris Hemsworth." Mary ogled my card. "He's so dreamy!"

"So this is what Thor looks like." I nodded to myself. "Good to know he's as hot as everyone says."

"My creampuff!" Freddie shouted. He held up the card waving it in the air. "I found Deaky! I win!!"

"Good job, Freddie! You win the ring pop!"Veronica handed him a brightly colored package.

"This is in lieu of strippers, my darlings, so I'll make it worth your while." He unwrapped a blue sphere which I assumed was the ring pop and made a show out of suckling it. "Smaller than what I'm used to, but that's alright." He commented as he continued to suck on the candy like it was something else.

"Gross! Freddie, stop that!" Mary shut her eyes.

_'That's why he left you.' _I thought to myself. Perhaps another sip of mimosa and I'd be saying that one out loud.

Ronnie cleared her throat to take everyone's attention away from Freddie's performance. "Now while we're being served cake, let's move on to the next game. The winner of this game won't be receiving a ring pop, but instead--"

"--A coupon?" Karen asked eagerly.

"No." Veronica deadpanned. "They'll be receiving a vanilla buttermilk body lotion."

Freddie spit out the ring pop, his mouth and tongue now completely blue. "Is it too late to switch my prize? I want my bum to smell like vanilla and buttermilk. That sounds delightful."

Time for more mimosa, I decided. Freddie laughed using his glass to hide his now blue teeth. Why did he keep doing that? Sure, his teeth weren't perfect, but they gave him personality. I rather liked his smile, it was less generic than mine, and made him more unique. So in a way Freddie's teeth were perfect for him in their own way. "You have a special smile, Fred. I love your teeth." That was the mimosa talking but I meant it nonetheless. "You should show it off to the world. And it's even better now that it's blue!"

"Roger, darling!" Freddie gasped. "No one's ever complimented these ugly ivories before. Thank you, dear. I know you don't mean it, but thank you."

"I do mean it! I mean it so so so much." I slurred. Okay I officially had too much to drink. Oh well. I could still see and that was what mattered.

"It's summer and we're in Florida, but my favorite season is winter. So let's bring back some snow!" Veronica tossed white slips of paper all around the room making it rain down. Was that what snow looked like? I could only imagine. It was July so I'd have to wait an entire season to find out. "Now on each of these of pieces of paper the name of a fairytale couple is written down." Ronnie explained, "Pick up as many as you can as quickly as you can and whoever gets the paper with John and Veronica written on it is the lucky winner! Got it? Good luck everyone! On your mark, get set...Go!"

"I'm ready Freddie!" Freddie declared and dove down to grab all the slips of paper competitively. He certainly considered it a challenge, and he wasn't going to lose. Something told me Freddie would be the champion again. He really wanted that body lotion.

I picked up one of the papers and ran my fingers across it. No Braille. That meant I couldn't participate. I sighed watching the others partaking in this fun little party game.

"Oh well this is embarrassing." Ronnie's grandmother took a seat beside me. "I'm afraid I don't have my spectacles so I can't read the names on these papers." She rubbed her back. "And bending over to pick up those slips was not very fun at all. Never get old, sweetheart. You'll get stiffness in your bones. I'm certainly no beauty queen anymore, I tell you."

I wasn't sure how to respond to her complaints as the others had their fun. I simply nodded and watched Freddie and the girls try to grab the papers. "Shrek and Fiona? Shrek isn't a real fairytale." Karen frowned.

"Ooh! Cinderella and Prince Charming." One of the girls giggled.

"I got Ariel and Prince Eric."

"Lucky! I got Princess Ana and Kristoff."

"Sweetheart, you're still young." Grandma Nora said. "Why aren't you enjoying your youth while you can? You shouldn't be sitting with a crabby old granny like me."

"I-I...Well I also forgot my glasses." I lied, too afraid to admit that I was illiterate. I looked down at the slip of paper in my hands seeing nothing but foreign scribbles.

"Well then have some cake and some more mimosa. You deserve to enjoy yourself. It's a party after all."

"If you insist." I said taking yet another sip from my third glass of mimosa...or was it my fourth? I was going to regret this probably.

"So how do you know my granddaughter? Are you one of her friends? She never told me she had such a pretty friend, and she knows I'm trying to find my great nephew a wife. I think he'd be lucky to have such a beauty like you if you aren't already taken."

"Sorry. I've already found the man of my dreams." I sighed, wondering what Brian was doing right now. Probably enjoying the warm sun and playing Frisbee with Ringo. Suddenly the beach didn't seem so intimidating. Not if Brian was there with me...

I noticed Grandma Nora looking at my fingers. Freddie had freshly polished my nails in a pink coat to match my dress. "No ring I see. He's a foolish man."

"No. He's the most brilliant person I know. Besides, it's much too soon for an engagement. We just met." I could only imagine the domestic bliss we'd share together as husbands. It was too soon and I didn't want to give up my hopes. So I shook the pleasing thought away. We were boyfriends and that was all I could ever ask for.

"You know back in my day, it was tradition to get engaged the day you met your soulmate. It was sort of like arranged marriages if you will. Forgive me, but I like things old fashioned. Although I have learned of some things that the youngsters are into. So if I may quote Beyonce, 'if you like it, then you should put a ring on it.' Thank goodness Ronnie's soulmate came to his senses and proposed properly like he should have on day 1. Tell me about this man you're with now. Is he your soulmate?"

"He is, but we aren't like the fairytale couples written on these papers. I don't think anyone is. It's ridiculous to get married within days of getting to know someone." Although Brian and I had been talking on the phone for months now, but I didn't count that. No, it would only break my heart if I considered taking things further and scared Brian away with my clinginess.

"Freddie Mercury and Jim Hutton?" Karen questioned. "I am not at all familiar with this couple. Which Disney movie are they from again? Are they from the one with the Snow Queen that you just can't seem to let go."

"Ronnie?" Freddie exclaimed. "You included me and Jim? I feel so honored! Thank you!" 

"You're welcome, Freddie. Deaky and I had fun coming up with the list of names the night before. He thought you would get a kick out of it." 

"Well it was a wonderful gesture, darling. And it looks like there's only one paper left on the floor. I'm going to win!" Freddie paused for a moment. He looked over to Ashley and let the young girl have the victory instead. "Go on, take it, dear. It's yours." 

"Thanks, Melina." Ashely said unraveling the paper. Karen snatched it away from her daughter before she could read the name. "We win! We are the champions! Now gimme the prize! Is is it a coupon?"

"No, Auntie, I told you it's body lotion, and it belongs to Ashley. She's the winner, not you." Veronica said sharply. She took the slip of paper. "Actually no one is the winner. This doesn't say John Deacon and Veronica Tetzlaff. It says Brian May and Roger Taylor." Ronnie chuckled catching my surprised gaze. "Sorry to embarrass you, Rog. Deaky made me put it in there and I didn't think you'd be coming."

"No problem." I said. "Um, do you mind if I see that?" I took the paper from her, examining the names written down. The symbols meant nothing to me, but now that I was told they spelled out our names together, I felt the need to cherish it. 

"So nobody wins? What kind of game is this? I'm calling the manager!"

"No, Mom! Look cousin Regina, dropped another piece of paper!" Ashley said taking the paper I had discarded because it was meaningless. "It says John Deacon and Veronica Tetzlaff. Cousin Regina, you win!" 

"No, honey, you take the body lotion. You're the real winner. And I'm not actually your cousin. My real name is Roger, not Regina." 

"Figures that Veronica would be friends with a drag queen." Karen murmured. 

"Best friends as a matter of fact." Veronica jumped to my defense.

"And Rog isn't the only one, my dear." Freddie announced. "Are my fake tits really that deceitful? I should wear them more often if they're so convincing." 

"And more than one! Goodness me! I bet those aren't even real pearls on your neck! You fake ass bitch!" Karen accused. 

"How dare you!" I shouted. "These belonged to Freddie's mother!" I was about to slap her, but Freddie held me back. "Getting into a fight with a Karen is not worth it, darling." He whispered. 

"Come on, kids! Let's take our body lotion and coupons and get out of here and complain to the hotel manager!" Karen scoffed. 

"Bye Roger! Bye Melina! Bye Cousin Ronnie! The pearls are really pretty. I like them!" Ashley called to us on her way out. 

"So who wants cake?" Ronnie proposed after a long awkward moment of silence. The party commenced as if nothing had happened. 

"A refill of mimosas for everyone!" Freddie shouted raising his glass in the air. "And a toast to Roger Taylor who's worthy of wearing my Mama's pearls!" 

For once in my life, I did feel worthy. Too bad I wouldn't remember any of this come tomorrow morning...


	7. I'm Bound to be Proposing on a Saturday Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian makes a surprise stop before going to the beach with Deaky and Jim.

** _*French SpongeBob narrator voice*: A few hours earlier..._ **

_Brian's POV_

Roger was just a big ball of energy, and somehow I couldn't seem to get enough of him. Freddie was babbling something about cats and miniskirts, but his words went over my head as I watched Roger crouched on the floor grabbing random objects and asking what they were. He claimed he was 'helping' John get ready for the beach trip, but we all knew he just wanted to see more things. Either way his adorableness was irresistible and I couldn't take my eyes off him. Leaving him with Freddie for the day was going to be hard for me. Maybe there was a chance Roger would change his mind and come with us to the beach.

Roger ran his hands across the orange disc, frowning slightly as he grasped it inquisitively. "What's this?" Ringo attempting to gnaw his teeth into the toy didn't seem to give Roger any hints.

"That's a frisbee." John said at last.

"Yes! I knew it felt familiar!" Roger grinned in recognition. "What color is that? That's orange, right?"

"Orange like an orange." Deaky confirmed.

Roger positioned the device in his hand as if he were going to toss it. Deaky quickly snatched it from him. "Oh no, Rog! Don't throw it in here. We don't wanna have to pay for any broken windows."

With a roll of his pretty blue eyes, Roger shifted his attention over to his dog. "You're gonna have so much fun with your other Dad and uncles at the beach today, Ringo. I'll miss you, but trust me, you're better off. You get to play with the frisbee. You love that, buddy!"

Other Dad? Did Roger just?... No. It was too soon for any of that. It was an innocent slip of tongue. Roger had so much adjusting to do in his life. I'd be here for him no matter what, but it probably wasn't the best idea to overwhelm him with a proposal. I would have to be patient. Give Roger more time to come to terms with sight. I tried to imagine what that would be like--blindfolded since I was two years old and now seeing everything bright and vividly for very first time--but I couldn't fathom it. Everything was so new to Roger. It was a joy to help him learn everything and observe him discovering the world.

"Are you listening, Bri?" Freddie interrupted my thoughts.

"Yeah. Delilah's a cute cat who can get away with murder." I figured he said something like that. How off could I be?

"That's true, dear, but that's not at all what I said. I told you I'm taking Roger shopping. He needs a wardrobe for the festivities."

"Uh-huh." I murmured, still watching Roger. Wait a minute. "No, Freddie. Don't take Roger out without me. I wanna be there when he sees a car for the first time."

"Why? Are you scared he'll leave you for the first car he sees?" Freddie laughed. "If it's really that upsetting, we can take the indoor bridge attaching the hotel to the mall. We won't go outside and he won't see any cars. You have my word. Roger will be looking at nothing but miniskirts for him to try on and look fabulous."

"Oh yeah, Freddie." John looked up from his bag. "Ronnie told me to tell you, nothing above the knees. It's formal wear. Grandma Nora's gonna be there. Dress conservative. Also she wanted me to stress that there will be absolutely no strippers under any circumstance."

"A dull drab party with grannies and no strippers." Freddie sighed. "At least I'll have my Roger."

"_Your _Roger?" I questioned. Freddie had his own boyfriend. Why did he have to steal mine? Oh what was I saying? I knew the way Freddie was, always so bubbly and flirty. It was all innocent fun. There was no need to get possessive. Roger wouldn't find that attractive. No one wants a jealous partner.

"Oh relax, darling. I'll have him returned to you by the end of the night." Freddie assured me.

"I think I have everything I need." Deaky announced as he zipped up his bag. "I'm ready to go. I'll text Jim to meet us downstairs and we can head out."

"Y-Yeah." I was so hesitant to leave Roger after spending the last 20 or so hours glued to his side. Now that Deaky had removed the bag from Roger's vecinity, the blonde had found a new thing to explore. He picked up a spoon that had been resting on the mantel. He twirled it around in his hands in wonder. "Spoons have mirrors. Why didn't anyone tell me this? Look! I can see myself!" He giggled. "I look funny."

"The shape of the spoon distorts your image." I explained. "You see because it's concave it reflects the light diagonally and..." When Roger looked up at me with intrigue I nearly lost my train of thought. He had a tendency to distract me.

"Brian, please you're boring the poor darling. Why don't you go enjoy yourself at the beach? You deserve to have some fun." Freddie beckoned me to the door.

"He's not boring anyone." Roger contended. "I could listen to him talk about spoons for hours and hours."

"You're exaggerating." I dismissed. "Fred's right. Don't let me bore you. I should get going. Are you sure you don't want to come with u--" My phone interrupted the invitation. I checked to see who was calling. NASA. That was important to say the least. But then there was Roger staring at me questioningly with those big blue eyes. Work could wait. I put my phone away and gave my boyfriend a kiss. "I want you to come with me." I begged.

"No. I already promised Freddie I'd go to the bridal shower. I'll see you tonight. Take care of Ringo for me." Roger gave me another kiss before I could protest.

"Jim texted me. He's waiting for us downstairs. Come on, Brian! Let's go!" Deaky urged.

"Can you give Jim a big kiss for me like the one you just gave to Roger?" Freddie requested.

"Um I don't think that will go over very well when it's not coming from you." I said.

"Darling, you really can't take a joke. Just take lots of pictures of him shirtless on the beach and send them to me, alright?"

"Oh!" Roger exclaimed. "I also want shirtless pictures...I mean pictures of you, Brimi, not Jim...Not that Jim isn't handsome, Freddie, sorry....Um, you know what I mean." Even when he was awkward, he was so cute I could cry!

"I'll um see what I can do." I said while Deaky just shook his head in embarrassment. 

"Have a sexy time, darlings." Freddie laughed. "We'll be with you in spirit."

***

Jim was a good partner for Freddie, and practically another brother for me. There couldn't be a nicer bloke out there. However, I wished it was Roger sitting next to me in the passenger seat instead of Jim. Deaky clambered into the backseat with Ringo. "I call shotgun on the ride back!"

I plugged in the coordinates of the beach into my GPS. Roger would probably flip out if he were here. _"What's that?" "Oh my God! Is this what the inside of a car looks like!" "What does this button do?" "Brimi, can you teach me how to drive. Please! Please! Please!"_

"Brian, I was wondering if...um...There's a place I wanted to stop off at before the beach. I looked it up. It's about 8 km from the beach, so it's not too far out of the way." Jim said shyly his eyes averting my gaze.

"That's roughly 5 miles." I did the math in my head. I was becoming a true American, thinking outside of the metric system. "Sure, Jim. Where do you want to go? Do you have the address?"

"It's um Galileo Jewelers on 39th street." He whispered reluctantly.

"Ohmygod you're proposing to Freddie!" Deaky squealed putting the clues together before I could. Yes, that made sense. Why else would Jim want to go to a jeweler? That explained why he seemed so nervous. Although I couldn't jump to conclusions. I wanted to hear it from Jim first.

"Aye." He confirmed.

"Congratulations!" I exclaimed. "Fred's dying for you to pop the question."

"That's an understatement." John laughed. "He's going to freak out. I'm so excited!"

"Well I'm going to wait until after your wedding so I don't take away from your special day with Veronica." Jim said. "I did some research. The fair is in town during our last night in Florida, and it would be a brilliant idea for a date. Freddie won't suspect anything but a romantic evening out having fun. I was thinking of proposing on the top of the ferris wheel."

"Ah man! I'll be on my honeymoon so I'll miss it, but that sounds amazing!" Deaky cooed. "Freddie will love it!"

"He doesn't have a fear of heights, right? I thought I knew everything about him, but that did cross my mind. I might as well ask." Jim asked.

"Not that I know of." I said. "When he performs with the royal ballet he sometimes has to do stunts on ladders or with wires flying through the air."

"Well if Freddie did have a fear of heights, this would help him get over it." Deaky reasoned. "But I don't think he does. It's never come up and I've known him my whole life."

"That's good." Jim exhaled. "I don't know why I'm so scared. Freddie's been proposing to me right and left and begging for me to either say yes or do the same."

"There's nothing to be afraid of." John assured him. "I was terrified before I asked Ronnie, and I wish I wasn't so I could have enjoyed the moment more. You don't have to worry about rejection. Freddie would follow you to the ends of this earth if he could."

"It's not official yet and I promised Freddie I wouldn't tell anyone until it's confirmed, but he's quitting his touring troop and accepting a job with the permanent London cast of the royal ballet so he doesn't have to travel all the time." Jim announced. "I think that's what drove me to make this decision. Freddie's so committed to settling down with me and starting a family and I just can't believe how lucky I am to land a guy as special as him."

"That's such good news!" Deaky applauded. "I know Freddie is living his dream as a dancer but I miss him so much when he tours. It'll be great having him back in London with us."

"It does work out well. This way Freddie has more time for his art exhibits in London as well. He had to give up a lot of his painting time while he toured." Jim explained. "I just adore his water colors that he's been experimenting with now that he sees in color. He's a man of so many talents it's simply mind boggling."

Before meeting Jim, Freddie would only paint in shades of black and white, but that didn't stop him from becoming a part time artist in addition to dancer. Now I was dying to show off my brother's work to Roger. My poor baby has gone through life without seeing art. I added a trip to the art museum on our to-do list that was steadily growing. There was so much Roger needed to experience, and I made it my goal to be there by his side every step of the way.

"Roger will be happy to hear that Freddie's staying in London permanently. Now he has another friend he can rely on besides me and Ronnie." John remarked.

London... Right. After the wedding Roger would be going back home. Lately I'd been considering moving back because I felt so homesick. Ideally I would want to work part time for the British Space Program and devote the rest of my time toward helping the badgers. It broke my heart being unable to do much about the culling from so far away. I had already spoken on the phone with the personnel at the British Space Program and after reviewing some of my work they said they'd be glad to have me on board and I was welcomed to start anytime I'd like. However, I couldn't turn down this opportunity with NASA. I was getting a lot of important work done and this was what I always wanted ever since I was a little boy and first developed a fascination with space.

Would it be too much to ask Roger to move to Cape Canaveral with me? The culture shock might be too much for him while he was still getting used to seeing everything. Roger had roots in London. Everything was so unfamiliar to him already why add another foreign element for him to cope with?

'_Turn left.' _I followed the instructions of the GPS and pulled into the parking lot.

"Freddie deserves the biggest diamond they have no matter the cost." Jim smiled as we entered the jeweler.

My phone rang again, and I knew I really shouldn't be ignoring my responsibilities. I stepped back outside as Jim and John went ring browsing. Why did I keep getting calls from work on my time off?

"Hello." I said politely.

"Hello, Dr. May, I have some exciting news for you. We've been reviewing your work, and a team studying asteroids at NASA headquarters in Washington DC have requested your transfer. As your supervisor I recommend you for the promotion. We'll pay for room and board and accommodate you. Now the hours will be twice as long with not much more pay, but the work you'll be doing at headquarters will be groundbreaking. Not many people get this chance, but you have the potential. You've earned it through your hard work for us here at the Kennedy Space Center. So what do you say, Dr. May, are you going to use that brilliant brain of yours and make history in DC?"

I was stunned. How often would I be given this kind of offer? It was a dream come true. The move wouldn't be bad at all because I was already far from home. As much I appreciated nature, it would be a nice change of pace to return to a city rather than a rural area. One thing deterred me: the hours. I was no stranger to hard work, but I couldn't imagine doubling what I already had on my plate. I worked 14 hour days 5 days a week. How could I do more than that without collapsing? There would be no time left for animal activism and music in my free time. Plus I'd probably be so exhausted that I wouldn't be able to have my nightly phone calls with Roger. A long distant relationship was already a strain. I needed to set aside time for him.

"Is your silence a yes?"

"Um, can you give me a few days to think it over." I requested. "As you know I'm distracted at the moment because I'm out of town for my baby brother's wedding."

"I'll give you until the weekend otherwise headquarters might recruit someone from the Space Center over in Houston, Texas. If you ask me you'd be a fool to pass up the opportunity. You'd better have a damn good reason if you say no. Talk you soon, Dr. May."

"Yes of course." I hung up feeling thoroughly conflicted.

I should take the job. No, I couldn't do that. What about Roger? And the badgers? And what little spare time I had to make music? Then again I'd be on a historic team conducting groundbreaking research on asteroids that could bring about new revelations in the future.

I needed a sign. I was a man of science foremost, but if there was a God up in the sky, perhaps he'd point me in the right direction to make the best choice. Then I saw it, right there in front of me as if it were smiling from the heavens up above. A sparkling sapphire ring matching the blue in Roger's eyes sat in the display case window.

_'For once in your life, don't overthink things.'_

I dialed the number for my contact at the British Space Program. "Hello, this is Dr. May. We spoke a while back about a part time position in the department for space d—"

"—Dr. May, you're a legend around here!" The woman interrupted before I could finish making my request. "Your books are passed around like Harry Potter novels at a middle school library. When can you start?"

Some things were meant to be. "I can start next month." Yes, that gave me enough time to move back home and get situated.

"Wonderful." She and I worked out the details and made it official. All that was left to do now was quit my job at NASA, and tell my landlord I'd be moving out by the end of the month.

Oh God! What the hell did I just do? This wasn't like me at all. I usually thought things through very meticulously making painstaking pros and cons lists. This spontaneity was not my forte. Then I saw the ring again and I knew why I made this decision.

With my eye on the sapphire I marched back into the shop. "Brian, is everything alright? You were on the phone for a while." Deaky noted.

"Everything is fine. That was the British Space Program. They offered me a job. I think I might take it." I didn't say anything about DC or NASA.

"Huh. They just gave you a job offer out of the blue? That's strange." John remarked. "My answer is selfish because I want you to be close by just like Freddie, but you have to do what's best for you. I can't tell you what that is. I know how much NASA means to you."

"John, what do you think of this one?" Jim called him over. "Do you think Freddie will like it?"

While they pondered over the perfect ring for Freddie, I approached my precious sapphire and flagged down an employee. However much it cost I'd be willing to pay.

"You know you're in luck! All the other rings featured in our summer blow out sale were sold out and the sale ends tomorrow. This lovely ring that's sure to make a girl very very happy used to be $5,000 but now it's only $3,900. A real bargain if you ask me!"

That was pricey but it was for my Roger and seemed to be destined. "I'll take it!"

"Brian, we found the ring! Come check it out!" Deaky exclaimed.

I quickly pocketed my own purchase. I didn't plan to propose to Roger right away. I would probably wait until after Freddie and Jim were married to give Miami time to breathe. More importantly, I wanted to wait for Roger to become more comfortable with the world around him. Wedding jitters and stress would not do him good at the moment. At least I knew I had the ring and one day for better or for worse I'd be getting down on one knee.

***

The beach was a nice distraction. The salty air helped clear my head. It spoke wonders that the highlight of the excursion was falling asleep while tanning in the sand and dreaming of a certain special someone whose name rhymes with Dodger Maylor. Maylor? Hmm. I liked the sound of that...

After washing all the sand out of my hair in a warm relaxing shower, I let my hair dry naturally to achieve its signature poof. Ringo was acting out since Roger wasn't here and I found the dog crashed out on the hotel bed. I allowed it for now because I had a soft spot for animals. While waiting for Roger's return from the bridal shower, I researched homes in London available for rent imagining a life with my soulmate. Asking Roger to marry me was still too soon but I figured there was no harm in us moving in together if we lived in London where Roger was already familiar and had a support group to help him transition through this exciting time in his life. I wanted to be there for him every step of the way. There was no doubt in my mind now that I was doing the best thing for us.

I clutched the ring box in my hands fantasizing about a future date when I'd present it to him.

The door suddenly swung open. In a panic, I hid the ring beneath the pillow. Roger couldn't see it before the time was right. I might even scare him away if he saw it too soon.

My jaw dropped at the sight of my beautiful "girlfriend" in the threshold. Freddie had really done the works in making Roger look delectable right down to the dainty bow in his hair.

"She's all yours!" Freddie snickered pushing Roger into the room. "I should warn you she's jus a lil bit hammered." My brother slurred his words. "How many drinks did you have again, darlin'? Five, six?"

"Seven! I win!" Roger laughed.

"Seven! Regina, you naughty little bitch. Brimi outta spank you." Freddie playfully swatted Roger's ass. "Have a good night!" He blew kisses and left me all alone with this beautiful delight.

"Ringo!" The dog went running to Roger greeting him with licks. "Were you a good boy for our Brimi?"

"He behaved himself for the most part." I said my eyes still trailing Roger's figure in that pink dress.

"BriBri!" Roger cooed stumbling over to me clumsily. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too! How was the party?"

"Party? Oh the party I just want to. Yeah...party was fun." Roger slurred, giggling as he tugged at one of my stray curls. "Had a fruity drink, bubbly, tickled on the way down. Really bloody good." He licked his pretty pink lips.

"You're really drunk." I smelled the mimosa on his breath.

"You're really hot." Roger responded. "Let's go on the bed and fu—Hey! Why are the beds pushed apart?"

"Housekeeping came in earlier and must have separated them. Here, let's push them back together." I said getting on the side of the bed frame to push it back against the other one.

"What's this?" Roger picked up one of the chocolates on the pillow.

"That's a piece of chocolate, love. They put them on the pillows at fancy hotels." I explained. I didn't like how close Roger's hands were to the ring beneath the pillow.

"Okay I'll leave the chocolate under the pillow for the tooth fairy." Drunk Roger reasoned.

"No, Roger don't—"

It was too late. He had uncovered the ring box. So much like Jack Skellington discovering Christmas for the first time, he was delightfully intrigued. "What's this?" Roger answered his own question when he accidentally opened the box with a gasp. "This hotel must be fancy! Chocolate on top of the pillows and rings beneath the pillows." He frowned holding the ring in his hands. "This is a ring, right, Brimi? It feels like one but it doesn't look anything like the ring pop Freddie suckled. I wish I had paid attention to what Ronnie's ring looks like. There's just so many things to see. I can't keep track of what's what."

"That's alright." I said casually taking back the ring. He wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow. He was so drunk that it wasn't clicking.

"Wait...Brian, is this a ring for me? Like an engagement ring?" Roger fell off the bed and landed on his stomach. Hopeful blue eyes peered up at me shyly. "Are we getting engaged?"

Shit! Well here goes the worst proposal in history. I had no choice. The secret was out. I couldn't lie to Roger, not when the alcohol had reduced him to this vulnerable childlike persona.

"I wanted to do this more romantically, but Roger," I shifted down to one knee, "will you—"

"—Hold that thought!" Roger collected himself up off the floor and scrambled to the toilet to throw up. "Hey! I told you vomit looks like oatmeal!" He wheezed before puking again.

I sighed and put the ring in the hotel safe which did not have any Braille accommodations for Roger. Tonight was not the time to propose. Instead I pretended like nothing had happened and went to hold Roger's hair back while he threw up. I sang to him as his condition slowly deteriorated as the night prolonged. I'd always take care of my fallen star in sickness and in health.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I usually have lots to say in these ANs but I don't today. Have a nice day everyone!!!


	8. Down in the City Just You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian takes Roger out for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've thankfully never experienced a bad hangover (PSA: Drink responsibly) so I'm not sure how accurate this portrayal of Roger's hangover is and if you can just sleep it off so easily. So keep that in mind and don't @ me.

_Roger's POV_

I loved drums. It was my absolute favorite thing to do. Drumming on my head, now that I did not like at all. I knew I was awake before I even opened my eyes. A splitting headache ruptured across my forehead like someone was banging a drum on my head. Ah. So this was that dreaded hangover. My head hurt so bad that I could barely open my eyes, but I had to fight it. I didn't want to stay in the dark any second longer now that I knew there was light beyond these closed lids. With a struggle I fluttered open my eyes.

Darkness! Nothing changed at all. I still couldn't see. I blinked trying again, my headache only growing worse in the process. A panic ripped deep within my chest. Could I have gone blind again? It wasn't fair! Why did I only get less than two full days to enjoy vision only for it be stripped away from me again? What a fucking tease! I didn't know whether I wanted to scream or cry. The return to this darkness was such a nightmare. It made me wish I had never gotten those precious moments to begin with because now I knew what I had lost. Why did this have to happen to me? Maybe my father was right all along and I was worthless. That's why I deserved this fate.

_"...Touch my tears with your lips." _A soft voice sang in my ear. Someone was trailing their hands up and down my back in a calming soothing motion.

_"Touch my world with your fingertips_

_And we can have forever_

_And we can love forever_

_Forever is our today..."_

I sobbed. I couldn't help it. I just broke down and bawled like a newborn baby. I could only hear Brian. I'd never see him again...

"Roger? Love, are you awake? What's wrong? Do you have a hangover?" His soft voice carried nothing but concern. I wanted to see those hazel eyes so badly. Why couldn't I see?

"Rog?" He shook me like he was trying to wake me from a bad dream, but this was my nightmarish reality.

"I-It's gone." I choked. "I lost it again."

"What are you talking about? What did you lose? You just had a bad dream. I'm right here. I've got you. Here, your washcloth got warm. Let me put some more cool water on it. That should help with your head."

A cloth was removed from my eyes, and the world suddenly became apparent through my tears. What the hell? Of course I was grateful for this vision, but my first reaction was that of anger. I tried to sit up, but I felt dizzy.

"What the fuck, Brimi?" I shouted. "Do you think that's funny? Why the fuck would you blindfold me? You bastard! I thought...I thought....Oh God! I thought I went blind again."

"Oh no! Shit! I wasn't thinking. Cold compress over the forehead and eyes usually helps hangovers. I didn't realize it would be so traumatizing. I'm so so sorry, honey. Please don't cry. Everything's alright. I promise. It was just a cold washcloth. That's all. You can still see. I was just being dumb. Please forgive me."

"I see you." I laughed through the tears, confirming that this was all a mistake. "I see you." That was all that mattered. Everything was visible to me again even though my head hurt and I wanted to hurl. I could still see.

"It's alright. Just rest. I promise I won't cover your eyes again." Brian returned to my side to cuddle. He reached for a cup of water on the bedside table and a tiny circular object. "Here Rog, swallow this. It should help with your hangover."

"What is it?" I asked toying with the little red pebble in the palm of my hand. The familiar feel gave me an answer. "Is this a pill?"

"It's just an Advil. Nothing bad I swear I'm not trying to poison you." He planted a kiss on my cheek. "God, I'm so sorry for scaring you like that with the washcloth. I just want to make you feel better."

I swallowed the Advil and rubbed my throbbing head. "You know, a cold compress really sounds good about now. Maybe I'll give it another try?"

"Sure thing." Brian once again blinded me, but this time I saw it coming so I was much more relaxed. I closed my eyes. It felt so nice to have Brian rubbing my back. He sure knew how to be a pampering boyfriend. I might as well take advantage. "I'm gonna go back to sleep. Can you sing for me some more, love?"

"Of course."

_"In the year of '39 assembled here the volunteers_

_In the days when lands were few_

_Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morn_

_The sweetest sight ever seen...."_

The first thing I did when I woke up with a clear head was touch my face to feel for anything that was concealing my eyes. Sure enough I felt the washcloth and tore it off before daring to open my eyes. Now for the moment of truth...

"Yes!" I applauded when my eyes were greeted with Brian's bright smile. He gave me a good morning kiss. "How are you feeling, Rog? Any better?"

"I'm feeling much better. Thank you for taking such good care of me." I yawned. "What time is it?"

"It's half past two." Brian replied.

"In the afternoon? Shoot! I slept through my entire day." I sat up, pleased that I no longer felt dizzy. "Where's Ringo? We need to take him out for his walk."

"Don't worry. Freddie's watching him. You know I think he's starting to warm up to dogs even though he's a cat lover." He said. "Just take things slow. We have the day and night all to ourselves."

I frowned noticing that Brian was fully dressed and there were discarded room service trays on the table. "Were you seriously cooped up in this hotel room for all these hours watching over me?"

"You make that sound like that's a bad thing."

"No! It's absolutely not. I'm just not used to having such a caring boyfriend." I admitted. "You're really good to me. I like that." Understatement, but I didn't want to over flatter Brian right now. He probably got enough of my flirts when I came back to this room shitfaced last night. I racked my memory banks. Nope. I had fallen blackout drunk. I couldn't remember a thing. Probably nothing too major happened.

"You know I'm glad you're starting to build up a tolerance for alcohol because tomorrow night is Deaky's bachelor party and Freddie's the one planning it. Heaven help us if we make it out alive." Brian joked.

"But today it's just you and I?" I confirmed.

"All day long. I had plans for us but if you just want to lounge in bed and recover, that's fine too. We can rent a movie and--"

"--I'm feeling better now, Bri. There's no need for that. Let's go out. Whatever plans you had in store, I'm in!" I declared.

Brian beamed. "I was hoping you'd say that."

I slowly went about my morning routine, once again marveling over how much easier it was to do with sight. Maybe I'd get used to these mundane tasks soon, but for now, it was a whole new experience. As I was getting dressed, I spotted a bright package next to one of the food trays. "What's this?"

"Oh, you don't want to eat that, Roger. It's nasty. Tastes like processed cardboard. They brought it up with room service by accident and didn't charge me for it. I was going to trash it. If you want a real breakfast, I'll order you--"

I unwrapped whatever mysterious food this was and put it into my mouth. I chewed the cold square earning a sugary blast. "Oh my God! This is so good! What is it? It tastes like a toaster strudel but with chocolate in the middle instead of that strawberry filling."

"It's a chocolate fudge pop tart. Total junk food, no nutrition at all. America is known for that stuff I suppose. I guess it's fine for you to eat just this once." Brian laughed.

"I love it!" I exclaimed, stuffing the rest of the treat into my mouth.

Brian shook his head and returned his attention to the screened device on his lap. Wait is that why they called them laptops? Duh! Why didn't I see that before? Probably because I couldn't see before. The screen displayed text that was meaningless to me. Brian pushed down on the keys making a clickity-clack sound and more text appeared.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm composing an email to a landlord in London. I found an affordable--Oh! I never told you the good news, did I?"

"What good news?" Anything that made Brian smile was good news. I listened with intrigue.

"I accepted a job at the British Space Program and I'm also going to work part time with Team Badger to fight back against the culling and protect British wildlife. Isn't that great?" He seemed so happy. Why should I question it?

"What about NASA? That's your dream job, Bri."

"I still get to be an astrophysicist. NASA may be the pioneer, but there are other space programs available like this one back in England. This way I can devote more time to helping the badgers which is just as important, if not more important in my opinion." He explained.

"Well as long as you think it's best for you, then I can't argue." I reasoned. It was even better for me of course. In the back of my mind I was still denying it, but I had to go back to England after the wedding, and we'd be apart again. Now I no longer had to worry about that heartbreaking separation. "I'm excited for you! I can visit you every single day now!"

"Actually, Roger, I was wondering if you'd like to move in with me." Brian offered. "As you can see I'm already making arrangements to rent this new apartment, so I'll have it in no time, and I can't imagine being so close to you and not having you come live with me. I'll take care of the expenses. You don't have to worry. I understand if it's still too soon, but I really want to be with you."

I was afraid he wouldn't ask. I was so touched that I wanted to scream, but I didn't because we'd get yet another noise complaint. This was by far the best day of my life! No wait...The day I first opened my eyes and saw my love's face was the best day of my life, but this was a close second. Brian still awaited an answer.

"I love you, and it would be my dream to move in with you." I squealed. "There's just one problem. I think this apartment of yours is imaginary. Unless you're moving somewhere in the United States."

"Flat." Brian rolled his eyes. "I'm renting a flat."

"That's better." I laughed and gave him a kiss. "Now what plans do you have in store for me today?"

"I was thinking we could go to the science museum. Does that sound like fun? We'll get to drive into the city and site see along the way."

"Yeah. That could be--Drive? D-Did you say drive?" Holy shit! I was going to see cars today! I wasn't mentally prepared. It felt like I had been waiting my entire life for this moment. I take it back, today trumped the first time I ever saw. This really was the best day of my life!

_***_

"I'm not ready."I whispered, trembling as Brian covered my eyes with his hands.

"Don't faint on me, Roger. On 3 I'll remove my hands and you'll look. Okay?"

I shook my head. "The car is right in front of me?" My heart was speeding. This was all so overwhelming.

"Ready Freddie?" Brian asked.

"Freddie's here?"I inquired.

"No. He's off somewhere having a good time with Jim. It's just an expression. Okay, I'm gonna count now. Just breathe Roger and don't freak out too much. 1, 2...3!" Brian took his hands away from my eyes.

It took a moment for me to accept that I was staring at a shiny red car. This was it**—**the machine of a dream live in the flesh! I teared up at the sight. I didn't realize Brian was holding up his phone and filming my reaction.

"Well, Roger, what do you think?"

I opened my moth but the words to articulate how special it felt to have a dream come true failed to come. Instead I screamed. Taking in all the other cars in the parking lot made me scream even more. They all shared the same basic structure like that of my keychain but they were all different sizes and colors. I couldn't believe the variety.So many four wheeled friends to meet!

"He's screaming. That means he's happy." Brian spoke into his phone that he held up.

"Y-You're filming?"I looked up into the phone timidly.

"Sorry. I promised John I would. And Freddie will want to see this too I bet. I'll turn it off now."Brian tapped the screen and put his phone away. "What's wrong, Rog? Is it too much?"

I shook my head. "It's everything I dreamed of...I just..." Why did I feel so funny knowing that people would be watching me scream for joy? It was just Freddie and Deaky. "You should have asked before you filmed me."

"I wasn't going to put this on social media or anything, but you're right. I just thought it'd be nice to capture the memory. I'll delete it right now if it makes you uncomfortable."

Wait. I could watch it back. I had never seen myself on film before. Did I even want to see it? What if I didn't like the way I looked in motion? Then again I'd always want to relive the moment I saw cars for the first time. I had to rely on my own mind for the memory of first opening my eyes and seeing the world. Having this relic was special.

"No don't delete it." I said. "It's fine."

"Are you sure? I'll just keep it for us. I won't send it out. If Deaky asks I'll show it to him. Otherwise no one will see it except you and me."

"Thank you." Now I felt better and wanted the video saved. Why was I bothered? Being caught on camera was never an issue before. When Clare did her school community project to raise money for the blind, the local news did a story on me and some of the other kids in the school for the blind. It didn't upset me then that I was broadcasted on hundreds of TV set...Oh God! That meant hundreds of eyes were watching me, staring right at me. What did they see? What did they think?

"Roggie? What's the matter?" Brian asked.

"I-I think I'm camera shy." I blurted. "The thought of people looking at me makes me sick all of a sudden. I don't know why."

"They look because they like what they see." He reasoned.

I knew Brian meant well, but that didn't make me feel any better. I hated being such a bother. Why was this such an issue? I didn't understand. I had no problems before.

"Hey, I know what will bring back that smile. Let's go for a drive!"

"A-A drive?" I looked back at the car. Just seeing it from the outside was beyond my wildest imagination. Now I'd be going inside, taking in all the sites of the controls and the pedals and the engine... My troubles were long forgotten and I screamed again.

"Wow!" I could hardly contain myself as I buckled my seatbelt (now I knew what the strap looked like). "There's so much! What's that? Is this the dashboard? Oh! Is that the radio? Oh my God! That's the gear isn't it? Oooh! What this?"

Even after Brian gave me the official tour of the automobile, I still couldn't believe it. I was practically drooling over it all. After all these years of seeking out braille car manuals (which were nearly impossible to find) and experiencing the feels of sitting in a passenger seat, I could finally associate a sight with each and every aspect of this machine of a dream.

"Alright. Get out. We're trading seats." Brian said abruptly after he backed out of the parking lot and straightened the car.

Trading seats? Was I too distracting for him? I didn't mean to be. I was just so damn excited. I knew eventually Brian would get tired of my elation and find it annoying rather than endearing. Handling me wasn't easy. My father made that quite clear. "D-Do you want me in the back? I'll be quiet. I promise."

"No, honey. I'm gonna teach you how to drive. I just backed out for you because that's hard to learn at first." Brian explained. "Now get in the drivers' seat before I regret this decision."

"Y-You want me in the drivers' seat?" I pinched myself again, a habit I had been doing frequently since I met him and got my vision back.

"Do you think you're up for it? I'm just gonna have you drive in circles around the parking lot. Nothing too crazy for your first time. I'm not mad enough to let you go out on the open road just yet."

"I'm in heaven and you're an angel." I exhaled.

"Just don't kill us, Rog, or else you'll be saying that literally." Brian said as he got out of the car for us to trade seats.

"I promise I won't crash." I vowed. How could I bring any harm to this beautiful car...or this beautiful man I'd be driving around in the car.

"Don't worry. You'll be under my watchful eye the whole time." He assured me. "Although it might be better if I had breaks installed on the passenger side of the car as well."

"Is that a thing?"

"It can be. Driving instructors have it but not many other people." Brian explained. "Do you need any help adjusting the seat?"

"Whoa!" I could barely reach the wheel, let alone the pedals, I was so far back. Brian laughed. "Awe, my little Roggie, you're so cute!"

"Shut up! It's not my fault you're a fucking giant!" I teased.

"Here." He showed me the buttons that would set the seat to my liking. Then I played around with the mirrors. So strange, having Brian ask me if I could see but meaning it in a completely different way. The automatic answer was yes, but I had to reconsider that he meant see out the mirrors and over the dashboards rather than see in general. Just another minor thing I needed to rethink about the whole visible world.

"Okay. Before you start. Don't do anything. Which pedal is which? Do you remember? You don't wanna get them confused." I could tell Brian was nervous, but I was more anxious out of excitement than fearful. Time to show him that I was really paying attention and I would never let him down.

"That's the break." I pointed. "And that's the accelerator."

"Very good. Now the car's in park, but whenever it's not in park, you'll want to keep your foot on the break to keep the car from moving. Understand?"

"What's the point of having a car that won't move?" I laughed, reaching for the gear. "Which way do I shift to get into drive up or down?"

"It's marked with the letter, D. See, you've got P, N, R, and D. Park, neutral, reverse, and drive. Drive is the fourth one all the way on the bottom so shift down, but keep your foot on the break." 

Usually you learn your alphabet before you learn how to drive. I tried to commit the letters to memory, but it was too difficult. I just trusted that Brian was right, and the symbol on the bottom was D for drive.

"Now, slowly lift your foot off the break."

I expected the car to zoom forward, but we just slowly inched forward. It was still very eager nonetheless. I laughed triumphantly. "Brian, look I'm driving!" I worked on stopping and starting the car with the break pedal. Then I came to the end of the lot. I had to make a turn. Brian instructed to tilt the wheel, but not too sharp. "This is so cool!" I shouted as the car made a turn. "I'm really doing it! I'm driving!"

"You're doing so well, Roger! I'm so proud of you! Do you wanna try going just a little bit faster?"

"HELL YEAH!" I slammed my foot down on the accelerator before Brian could say anything else. This was what I had really been waiting for. The car surged forward at a thrilling speed. It would have hit the wall, if I hadn't removed my foot and stomped down on the break, stopping it just in time. What a rush! "Wooo!" I screamed. I fucking loved this! "Let's go again!" I jolted the car around the corner, nearly missing another parked car. Brian really meant it when he said not to make my turns too sharp.

"I think that's enough for today." Brian shouted as I hit the accelerator again. "No way!" I protested. "Don't stop me now! I'm having such a good time. I don't wanna stop at all!"

Suddenly the car skidded to an abrupt halt. What the hell? I didn't hit the break or put it in park or anything. I was just starting to pick up speed. "Are we out of gas?"

"No, I just hit the emergency break. Did I show where that is? It's this button right here." Brian pointed. He put the car in park while I examined this dumb automatic stop button. I knew about emergency brakes from the car manuals I read. Safety was important, but man was it stupid!

"I drove today." I giggled to myself in disbelief as we traded back seats.

"Oof!" Brian banged his knee against the wheel getting back in. "Damn you're short!"

"But you love me." I contended.

"That I can't deny."

***

There was a lot to explore in the museum, but Brian and I had to rush to the theater first thing in time to catch the last showing of the 3D movie about the solar system.

"So you've really never been to the cinema before?" Brian questioned as we waited in line to get our 3D glasses.

I shook my head. "My parents just took Clare. Dad said he didn't want to pay a ticket for someone who couldn't see and he would never go out of his way to find a theater that would play movies with audio enhancements for the visually impaired. So 3D, is that like where the things pop out at you?"

"Yes, but there's a lot more to it than that. There's a real science behind stereoscopic imaging that's rather complex and I won't bore you with the explanation, but the result is breathtaking. You feel like the pictures are alive."

"Brimi, I told you, you can talk about bloody spoons for all I care, and you could never ever bore me. Tell me more please." I prompted eagerly.

So Brian began his lecture on Victorian era stereoscopes and the history of 3D and how it was all possible. It was a little hard to understand, but I was fascinated nonetheless. "Why are you so smart? You know everything there is to know about everything. It's not fair."

"I don't know everything, Roger. That's just ridiculous. No one knows everything." Brian downplayed. "Like the soulmate system, for instance. Why is it that even with all of these advancements in stereotypic technology, we still can't activate the cones in our eyes until we meet our soulmates? No one knows why that is. Why did it awaken your eyes completely? It's all a medical mystery. No one has the answer. There's some things in this world you just can't explain. And it's hard for inquisitive minds to come to peace with that."

"You do know everything, you liar." I reiterated. "And this movie is about space. That's your forte. So you'll probably know all the facts about it before we even see it."

"I do have quite a bit of knowledge on space, but that's only because I've dedicated so much time to reading and researching astronomy. There's always new things to learn. Maybe this film will teach me something I don't already know. I hope it does."

"You should make a movie." I mused. "You have so much knowledge to share you should put it on film. Hey, if you could make a movie about anything in the world, what would it be about?"

"That's a good question." Brian gave it some thought. "I think I might make a nature documentary and show how even though humans are harming the environment there are many good things we can do to save the environment and stop all the needless destruction and harming of animals."

I nodded. "Oh! I'd make a movie about us! We'd be rockstars! Yeah! And Freddie and Deaky would be in our band too. It would be the best movie ever and win big at the Oscars and put your dull nature show to shame!"

"Who would we get to play these rockstar versions of ourselves?" Brian wondered.

"We'd get someone who looked just like you--almost scarily like you. Deaky's actor would have to look a lot like him too. Then we'd find the handsomest man in the world to play me. And a really talented actor for Freddie. Probably someone of Middle Eastern decent like Freddie. He would need to be good though because he has to win the award for best actor."

"So...you'd be playing yourself?" Brian ventured.

"What? No I'm a shit actor. Didn't you hear me, we'd find a bloke who's the handsomest man in the**—**Ohhhh. I get it. Bri, you flirt!"

_'Attention ladies and gentlemen, the doors to the auditorium are now opened. Please file inside in a calm and orderly manner. Our theater has a 360 degree screen with surround sound for your viewing pleasures, so every seat is a good seat. Enjoy the show!'_

"Let's push everyone outta the way and try to sit in the front row!" I challenged. It was a joke (mostly), but Brian still held me back. "You'll get us kicked out if you do that. Besides, the front row isn't always the best. You have to strain your neck to see everything. It's better to go toward the middle if not the back."

"But weren't you listening, Brian? 'Every seat is a good seat!'" I mocked the monotone voice of the teenager who made the announcement over the speakers.

"Stop being such a little smart ass." He laughed.

"Wow!" I gasped as I took in the large room with dozens of rows of seats stretching up a darkened stairway. "So this is a theater. I like it."

"Careful, watch your step." Brian urged, taking my hand as we ascended the stairs, taking a row toward the top.

The theater quickly packed and soon the movie started to play. I was blown away by the images that popped off the screen right in front of my face. I tried to grab at them but my hand floated through air. It was difficult to focus on the narrator's voice because the spectacle of sights was so distracting. Thankfully since school was out for the summer there were many parents in the audience with their children, so there was a constant whispering chatter. That way I didn't have to feel embarrassed when I had to whisper to Brian. "What's that?"

I expected him to shush me or get annoyed, especially when the answers seemed so obvious. _"That's a person in an astronaut suit." "That's the sun." "That's planet Earth." _God, I felt like such a fucking baby. To make matters worse, the little boy in front of us whispered the same question to his mother. "Sweetheart, that's planet earth. That's where we live." She spoke down to him because that's how you talk to toddlers.

The lights came back on when the movie ended. Everyone applauded. I stayed in my seat, blinking my sensitive eyes that were new to all of this. "Well, what did you think?" Brian asked. The parents took their kids by the hand and guided them down the staircase. That was exactly the way Brian held my hand coming in here.

"Do you think of this as a babysitting thing?" I blurted.

"What are you talking about? Look, I didn't know there'd be so many kids here because there's a separate kids' science museum next door where they'd be better off. I'm sorry if they were distracting. Personally, I think it's nice. It's always encouraging to see the next generation take an interest in science and learning."

"Don't tell me you didn't notice." I sighed. "They were just like me. I saw no difference. '_What's this, Mommy?' 'What's that, Daddy?'_. I'm just an oversized baby and I don't know how you can stand to be with me."

"You know what things are, Roger. You just have to associate an image with them. Please don't put yourself down like that. I'm with you because you're funny and sweet, and you encourage me to take risks and step out of my comfort zone. I like the person I am when I'm with you. You make me want to step up so that I can become more caring and patient, and I just love that you bring out all these good qualities in me. You're not a child, Roger, and I know that very well. You're just discovering the world for the first time, and that's nothing at all to be ashamed of. It's something you should be really excited about, and you should be proud of how well you're adjusting. I'm certainly proud of you. I love the way you light up when you're able to answer your own questions through touch or when you see something new for the first time. Watching you blossom is such a joy."

"Brian, I--"

"--Excuse me, gentlemen, the movie is over and we need to clean out the theater. Can you please make your way over to the exit?" An employee interrupted.

"Yes, of course. We were just leaving." Brian said, getting up without a fuss. I rolled my eyes and suppressed my inner rebel as I followed Brian outside.

"Did you really mean what you said?" I asked.

"I meant every word of it." He replied. "I love you, Roger."

Heaven help me, I was forever head over heels for this man. "I love you too, Brimi. I love you so much."

We spent the rest of the afternoon leisurely strolling through museum exhibits. Nothing really topped the 3D movie for me, but the fossilized dinosaurs definitely stood out. "Everyone says the T-Rex in Jurassic park is amazing, and I just have to take their word for it because I can only hear its epic roar when I watch." I said staring up at the massive skeleton on display. "It must be really cool to see people get chased by something this large and threatening."

"Yes. There was a time when humans weren't at the top of the food chain." Brian remarked. "I think people tend to take that for granted."

"You're gonna be like that crazy scientist dude from the movie who brings back all the dinosaurs." I snickered. "That's a horrible idea. They'll eat everyone."

"Jurassic Park is not a true story, Roger, but I'm definitely adding it to the list of movies we need to watch together. I'd like to see your reaction when you see the T-Rex."

"I'll probably scream." I predicted.

"What doesn't make you scream?" He laughed.

Up ahead, a woman was too busy staring up at the T-Rex bones that she failed to realize her shoelace was untied down below, and she tripped and fell on the ground hard. Ouch! That looked like it hurt. Brian and I rushed over to help, but a man made it there before us and helped the woman to her feet. "T-Thank you." She stammered. "No problem." The man replied.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. I had taken many nasty falls over the years and it was never fun, so she had my sympathies.

"Y-You're eyes!" She gasped. "They're blue!" She turned back to the man who had helped her up. He was grinning. "We're soulmates!" They said in unison.

I always seemed to be around when people found their soulmates, but this time was so special. Not only was I able to see it in color, but I knew that I was another one of the lucky people who had found their other half.

"Congratulations!" Brian applauded.

"Oh! Can you take our picture? Please!" The woman handed me her phone. I was still learning how to work screens, so I handed it over to Brian who got the message and took their picture for me. The happy couple posed beneath the T-Rex. It was good to be in this position and able to see their smiling faces. I was grinning just as widely.

As Brian took the picture, my own phone rang in my pocket. I took a few steps back away from the action so I could hear it better. It was probably Clare. She was the only one who called me besides Brian. Still unnerved by actually viewing the phone in my hand, I opened the flip phone and pushed down on the braille button to answer. "Hello."

"So, is it true?" The gruff voice of none other Michael Taylor greeted my ears. Great! Dad was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. I hadn't heard from him since last Christmas and I wanted it to stay that way.

"Is what true?" I asked coldly.

"Your friend John called. Said you can see now. Is it true?"

John called him? How dare he! I never even gave Deaky my dad's number. Why would Deaky go behind my back and contact him?

"Hey! You deaf now, too? Answer me! Can you see?" I didn't even flinch I was so used to him raising his voice like that.

"Why did John call you?" I demanded.

"Beats me. That boy is weird. Why'd he wanna be friends with you? For the longest time I thought you were making him up, but apparently he's real. Anyway he said he found my number from Facebook 'cause you wouldn't give him my information. You've got yourself a stalker buddy. So John has this crazy notion that if you got your sight back you wouldn't tell me so he took the liberty of delivering the news to me and your mother himself. He said I should give you a call and try and apologize and use this as an excuse to make amends even though I've done nothing wrong. Why should I apologize to you? You probably can't even see. I bet this chap John is a liar."

I sighed. Deaky probably did mean well. He wanted me to get along with my father. When I was younger I used to think that if I got my sight back he'd treat me better, but Michael Taylor wasn't that kind of man. He was an abuser. Nothing would change that. It had taken me my entire life to come to terms with that and it was still a struggle.

"John's my best friend and most certainly not a liar. He's treated me better than you ever have and ever will. And not that it's any of your business, but I can see now."

"You little fucker! Why the hell didn't you bother to tell us?" He shouted.

"Because I knew you'd call me a little fucker, and whenever I try to call Mom you pick up instead. That's why I stopped calling home because I can't stand you." It was easy to tell him off when I was miles away and he couldn't hurt me. Although he was right about one thing: I should have told Clare (assuming she was included in that us). I was just so overwhelmed by everything that I had forgotten. I made a mental note to give her a call later.

"Say whatever you want, but I expect you to pay me back." My father said.

Pay him back? Was he serious? "What gives you that asinine idea? I don't even live with you anymore. I moved out years ago."

"You owe me for all the years of burdening you put us through. Now that you're normal you can get a real paying job. I expect compensation."

"I don't owe you anything!" I shouted. "Goodbye, Michael. Never call me again!"

Brian walked back over just in time to hear the tail end of our conversation before I hung up. "That was harsh. Who's Michael?"

"N-No one...I um. I just got a call from a telemarketer. Trying to sell me some American healthcare package. Can you imagine? I'm not even from here. Haven't you heard of NHS, you dumb Yankee?" I made up the lie on the spot. I'd tell Brian the truth later. I just needed to cool down first. For now I was just grateful that Brian didn't put it together that Michael the telemarketer was actually Michael Taylor the asshole father.

"Yeah. I never realized health insurance was such an issue across the pond until I moved here. Good thing my job gave me coverage otherwise this badger tattoo really would have cost me my life. I'll be happy to move back home." Brian went along with it. "You wanna see the DeVinci exhibit now?"

I wasn't gonna let the audacity of my father ruin this otherwise perfect day with my perfect man. I took Brian's hand. "Sure, babe. Lead the way!"

***

I was too enchanted by the gorgeous view of the Miami skyline and the ocean as we drove across the causeway to even ask where we were going. My horrid phone call was long forgotten as I took in all the sights of driving into the city. "It's so beautiful!" I gaped looking around at the tall buildings that were beginning to light up as the sky darkened. Even though we were stuck in traffic, I was still having the time of my life. "Look at all the other cars! There's so many!" I observed. Then my attention shifted upward. "Is that an airplane? Wow! It looks so small!" A local radio station was playing Santana. I turned up the volume as I continued to look out the windows in wonder. "This is so much fun!" I giggled.

"I'm glad because I'm having a great time too." Brian said. "I don't think I've ever had a date go this well."

"Get used to it." I told him. Hypocritical of me because I just couldn't seem to get used to any of this. I urged myself to stop questioning it all. I would have woken up already if it were all a dream.

My stomach was grumbling by the time we pulled into a parking lot. "Is this a restaurant?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes it is. Chinese, your favorite. I already made reservations."

"No way!" I squealed. "Thank you."

The restaurant was pretty crowded, but I spotted a table for two by the window. Brian greeted the hostess. "Hi. I called earlier for reservations for a table for two under the name May."

"Oh yes, and we have all the accommodations for you ready to go. Right this way." She said leading us to that table.

"Accommodations?" I questioned.

A waitress came to our table before the hostess could elaborate. "Here you are, a vegan menu, and a normal menu as requested."

Of course. "Did you really request a vegan menu? Don't be a Karen, Brian. Nobody likes a Karen." I was about to discard my menu because it was worthless to me, but my hands ran across the familiar bumps. "Wait a minute. This is braille."

"Yes." The waitress confirmed. "On the phone your husband said not to make a fuss about it. That's why I called it a normal menu. I hope that's alright. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Would you like a braille version of the vegan menu as well?"

"H-Husband?" My heart fluttered just saying the word.

"Oh I'm so sorry. I just assumed he was. I'll um give you two some time to decide." She said and walked away awkwardly.

"I won't be calling any managers believe me." Brian winked. "But I'm glad I ask for these accommodations. Aren't you?"

"Yeah. No one's ever...I'm usually the one who asks for this stuff." I marveled. Why was he so damn considerate? Or the better question was why was I so damn lucky?

"You know there's many options for adult education. I know it's a lot and very overwhelming, but it's never too late to apply to dental school. If that's your dream, you shouldn't have to compromise it." Brian said. "I'll support you however I can."

"I have a long way to go before I can get there. I don't even know my alphabet." I acknowledged. "But the future is certainly looking bright...literally."

The waitress presented us with waters and took our food orders. No alcohol for us because Brian was driving us home and I had my fair share last night. We'd be getting our shot at drinks tomorrow night at Deaky's bachelor party.

"Here's to sharing a future together." Brian toasted.

"You're the brightest star there is. I see the light because of you." I declared and clinked my water glass with his.

While we waited for our food to arrive, we talked about all the possibilities that came with moving in together and sharing a life. It made me feel like I belonged. I wanted a proposal to assure everything, but it seemed like we were going to be longterm lovers no matter what.

"I think I'm gonna try to use chopsticks for the first time." I decided. Brian gave me advice on operating the utensil but most of my rice didn't end up in my mouth. Halfway through the meal I dropped the tool and went back to an easy fork. Vision made life so much better, but there were always some things that would remain difficult.

"Fortune cookies!" I exclaimed with eagerness as dessert was presented. I opened the treat and ran my fingers across the scroll hidden inside receiving a braille message. _'The truth will set you free.' _Cliche as usual. Oh well. I munched on the crispy sugar cookie. Wait a minute... Ah man. I should listen to the wise cookie and tell Brian the truth about that phone call. It would just weigh on my consciousness otherwise.

"You will meet your soulmate if you haven't already." Brian read his fortune. "I don't believe in this kind of stuff and just do it for fun, but that is spot on! What does yours say?"

"It says, 'Don't take advice from me. I'm just a cookie. What do I know?'." I joked. It got Brian to laugh, but it wasn't right. "No, what does it really say?" He asked.

"My Dad called today." I got right to it.

"Why would the fortune cookie tell you about your dad?" Brian asked.

"Forget the bloody cookie, Bri! I'm trying to tell you something important. Earlier today on the phone. It wasn't a telemarketer. It was my father."

Brian went quiet, but he seemed more thoughtful than mad. "Oh. Yea. His name is Michael isn't it. What did he want?"

"Deaky thought it would be a good idea to tell him I got my sight back. I wasn't planning on tell him." I sighed. "I don't blame John at all. He didn't know. He doesn't understand. Miami is such a loving father. It only makes sense that Deaky would think it'd be easy to reconnect with my father over a miracle like this."

"Roger, I'm sorry." Brian murmured, not pressing for any more details. I went on anyway just to get it off my chest. "He wants money, Brian. He thinks I owe him! He said now that I can see I should finally get a job and pay him back."

"I hope you told him to fuck off. You don't owe him anything, Roger. All he ever did was bring you down. You don't need that toxic relationship in your life anymore. If he ever contacts you again, tell me, and I'll...I'll get Miami to write you a restraining order or something. I don't know what I'd do, but I won't let you be treated like a doormat any second longer. That's for sure!"

"Have I told you that I love you?" I drawled.

"You deserve better, Rog. I promise to try my best to live up to what you deserve." Brian replied.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you more." He challenged.

"Nope. I love you more."

"That's not possible, honey."

"Anything's possible. I got my sight back."

That pretty much summed up the rest of our evening out. I put the phone call out of my mind and focused instead of how loved I felt and all the positivity that seemed to be spreading like light into my present and future. Maybe Brian was right. I deserved better.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay but why do I write them so adorably? I can't even! I hope you liked this chapter even though it was another long one. Stay tuned for Deaky's bachelor party. It's gonna be wild because of a certain party planner who goes by the name of Mr. Mercury. Thank you so much for reading!!!!


	9. Let Me Entertain You!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie throws a wild bachelor party for Deaky!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings from Orlando! I wrote a good chunk of this in the long car ride up here and while waiting in line for rides. It's random and wacky and probably not the best, but I am on vacation and literally writing/editing this on a Disney monorail so whatever.
> 
> I have no party experience whatsoever. I love Freddie with all my heart, but as an introvert riddled with anxiety, parties kinda make sick and I can't really understand his obsession with them. I also have some bad memories from high school of never being invited to parties. Literally my "friend" would go around inviting everyone in our friend group to come over to her house for a party and forget I was sitting there and not invite me. Then she'd always blab about the party to my face the next day. Later I found out I was never invited to any parties cause everyone figured I was the kind of girl who would call the cops when the drugs and underage drinking started. Wrong! I'd call my mom to pick me up and get me the hell out of there but not the police. I'm lame but not THAT lame. Anyway this ramble is meaningless. Don't do drugs and wait till you're of age to drink. So um idk if this chapter will be any good. With my lack of experience in partying I'm gonna try to make this more of a funnier kind of chapter. I like writing humor a lot. I make myself laugh. Idk if anyone else finds my shit funny. If you've ever seen the sketches of Stefon with Bill Hader on SNL, that's the kind of vibe I'm going for with this. Ok enough BS. Party on bishes!

"Have I warned you that Freddie's parties are insane?" Brian asked as he attempted to get a comb through his hair. It was a miracle that thing didn't get stuck in those curls.

"Only about 39 times.How crazy can they be? Deaky said he wanted something quiet and relaxing and I think Freddie will honor that." It would be similar to Veronica's bridal shower. Food, family, games and prizes. Right?

"The last time Freddie promised me a quiet and relaxing evening I ended up in the hospital with a tattoo on my back that looks nothing like a badger." Brian stated.

I frowned, erasing the correlation from my mind. "Now I'm back to square one. What do badgers look like?"

Brian laughed. "The thing on my back looks more like a chipmunk. Here let me show you the difference." On his phone he pulled up images of both chipmunks and badgers.

"They're both a lot cuter than your tattoo." I noted.

"Thanks for the reminder." Brian said sarcastically. "Learn from my mistake, Roger. Don't get a tattoo until you've researched the artist and the parlor and are 100% sure of the design."

"I should get a matching tattoo of a weird looking chipmunk on my back!" I exclaimed. "Won't that be romantic?"

"No actually. It wouldn't be romantic at all. That's a horrible idea. I already have a reminder of the time I almost died on my back. When I look at you I want to see the memories of our phone calls while I was healing and how you took away all the pain. Of course I'll still see that regardless when I look at you, but I don't want you to ruin your beautiful back with an ugly tattoo."

"It's not that ugly..." I looked back at the images of the cute animals. In my opinion, no sight was a bad one, but that tattoo on a closer inspection was.... "Well at least didn't kill you. You know what they say." I said.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?" Brian asked.

"What doesn't kill you leaves you blind for life until you find your soulmate." I rephrased.

"Ah yes. That very specific expression. I'm sure we're all familiar with it." He laughed. "Alright. Ready to go party?"

"Ready Freddie!" I exclaimed.

***

"What the fuck?" I gasped walking into the strobe lights. I couldn't hear myself think over the loud thumping of a beat. All around me people were dancing—some of them without any clothes. No expense was spared. There were drinks and food being tossed around and people were making out. Everywhere I looked there was a new spectacle. Animals, acrobats, you name it! Fat bottomed girls rode by me on bicycles. "THIS IS AWESOME!" I shouted. "If you say so." Brian said. "Where's John?"

Freddie approached us dressed like a king. "MY BROTHERS! So happy you could make it." He slurred. "GROUP HUG!" We were surrounded by Freddie's king cape, squished into a group hug.

"Oh no! Fred, are you high again?" Brian noticed his red eyes.

"What? No...J-Just a little bit of marijuana. I promise no cocaine this time. Here take some condoms." Freddie through the balloons in our direction. "You can never be too careful. I don't want anyone here catching something nasty."

"Um...Thanks?" I said catching them.

"I'm serious, darlings. It's the 21st century. We're educated about this kind of stuff now. It wasn't too long ago people were dying of AIDs. That could've been me. But thankfully we've learned since then. So I can fuck all I want so long as I use a condom. PARTY ON!"

"What about Jim? You can't cheat on him!" Brian cried.

"Christ! Do I have to spell it out for you? I thought you liked it when I'm SUBTLE. When I say I can fuck all I want, I mean I want Jim to fuck me all night every night. Just him. No one else. We're both clean and healthy, so the condoms aren't really necessary, but we might as well use 'em for good measure." Freddie guided us over to the open bar and got himself a small glass of something. It smelled like vodka. He downed it in one sip. "SAFE SEX, BITCHES!"

"Well so long as you're being healthy I guess." Brian said. "Roger, wanna try some shots?" He gave me one of the mini glasses. "Careful, it's strong."

"It's so small. How strong can it be?" I reasoned, copying Freddie and swallowing it in one chug. It burned my throat, but I tried to keep down.

"That's my boy!" Freddie applauded putting his arm around me. "Pure vodka right there! Let's get shitfaced!" He held up another one.

"No, just one for us." Brian said, sipping his glass slowly.

"It's a shot glass, darling. It's not made for that kind of thing! Even Deaky knows better. Look at him over there. He's already drunk!"

"Ohmygod look at him hopping around on the dance floor that is so cuuuuuutttteee." Okay, maybe that vodka was stronger than I originally thought. Brian was right just one..._more_. I took another shot with Freddie.

Deaky waved to us from the dance floor. "Awww! My baby creampuff is all grown up and dancing at his bachelor party." Freddie cooed. "Should I call some strippers over there to dance with him?"

"NO!" Brian and I shouted in unison. "Deaky can't cheat on Veronnie." I slurred. "They're a fairy tale couple. They go together like peanut butter and jelly...like eyes and seeing...like me and Brimi."

"Such a poet." Freddie remarked. "You should recite poetry for your best man speech."

"You mean the speech I haven't written yet?" I blurted.

"You haven't written it yet? The wedding is in 3 days, Roger! What have you been doing this whole time?" Brian cried.

"Procrastinating...making love...seeing...Yeah that pretty much sums up my life lately."

Something caught my attention. It was a fluorescent colored chamber with a bunch of people inside jumping around. "What's that?"

"That's a bouncy castle." Brian said. "The question is why are there only naked people inside?"

"No bachelor party is complete without a bouncy castle full of strippers." Freddie stated as if this were a known fact. "Oh I also invited a local nudist colony. It's a fun game guessing who's the professional and who just walks around in the nude as a lifestyle choice."

"Who even are all these people? I thought this was supposed to be just friends and family?" Brian wondered.

"Well there's Deaky, we know him. He's our brother and it's his party." Freddie looked around amongst the strangers. "And um...Hey look it's Miami! He's our father. That's a familiar face. Um...I think that's Deaky's new father-in-law over there....Oooh! There's Ronnie's senile grandfather. He's a war veteran. Pay your respects...Um..."

"Oh shit! It's my least favorite professor from university." Brian awkwardly ducked beneath the table trying to hide.

"Oh yeah. Deaky said something about inviting his professors which is bizarre, but whatever makes him happy." I said.

"What did he do to you, Bri? Give you a B?" Freddie snickered.

"No. Worse. He gave me a B- That's almost a C+. Worst marking I've ever received in my life. I'm so ashamed. Quick hide me!" Brian tried to pull the tablecloth over himself. I just rolled my head back laughing.

"One shot and you're drunk enough to play hide and seek like we did when we were kids in the orphanage. Never change, Brimi, darling." Freddie chortled.

The intimidating man walked over to the bar. He was tall, but not as tall as Brian. He ordered a glass of whiskey dry. "Gentlemen." He greeted us casually unaware that Brian was hiding under the table. I couldn't stop laughing and neither could Freddie. "What is so funny?" He demanded.

"We're drunk." I stated.

"I see." The professor nodded. "So how do you know John? I'll tell you that boy is bright. In the past 10 years, he's my only student to ever receive an A. I make all of my classes impossible to pass even when I teach the intro levels. My students tend transfer out, switch majors, and or cry. Not John Deacon though. I swear John is a rockstar to receive perfect scores on all of my exams! I couldn't even pass my own class. Hell, his older brother couldn't even get an A, and he went on to receive a PhD and become a best selling author. Smart family. Their father must have done something right in raising 'em. I wanna meet that third brother. He's probably brilliant too."

"Brilliant enough to plan a party like this!" Freddie proclaimed. He extended his hand. "Freddie Mercury, best of the trio."

"You are not!" Brian shouted. So much for hiding. He awkwardly got out from under the table, bumping his head in the process. "Hi Professor Smith. How are you?"

"May? What the hell are you doing under the table?" He scolded. "Are you hiding from me or something?"

"What, no? Don't be ridiculous!" Brian dusted himself off. "I was just um..."

"He was totally hiding from you." I announced.

"All this fame and fortune and everything that goes with it, and you still haven't changed your hair it seems." Smith noticed. "Good to see you again, Brian. I've read all your books. Only found one typo. Impressive! Also, you forgot to thank me in your acknowledgements, so that's a bit of problem I had to overlook."

"Um...Yeah. Thanks...You too?" He slurred. Ahh, drunk Brian was so adorable. I loved him! I just wanted to hug him.

"Hey, remember when I said you'd never get your PhD 'cause you couldn't even get an A in my intro level physics class? Good times!" Smith held up his glass. "To you, Dr. May! You've achieved more than I ever could in my lifetime. But I doubt you'll ever make as many people cry as me."

"Hey!" I protested. "Don't insult my BriBri! I'll fight you, you son of a bitch!"

"No! There will be no fighting at my—I mean my creampuff's party!" Freddie held me back, but I was ready to claw at that bastard like I was one of Freddie's cats. I calmed myself before Freddie finally released me. I got in the passive aggressive jerk's face and shouted, "And I'll have you know that Brian makes me cry a lot. I cried like a baby when I saw him for the first time. So joke's on you, you asshole!"

"Okay, Roger, that's enough." Brian dragged me away. "Bye Professor Smith!"

I was able to hear Freddie strike up more conversation as Brian pulled me away. "So tell me, darling, do you like cats?"...

We stopped on the dance floor. "Well that was embarrassing. I'm glad we're far away, far away from him." Brian said. "I always dreaded his class. Almost turned me off from physics altogether. Thank goodness I found my calling despite him."

"Dance with me, Brimi!" I grabbed his hands trying to get him to loosen up. "Oh no! No, Rog. You know I don't dance. Go grab Deaky if you wanna disco. He's always up for that. But not me."

"But Briiiiiiiii." I whined. "We're at a party! That's what you do at parties. You dance! C'mon! Just dance like no one's watching!...Oh shit! People are watching aren't they?"

"No, no one's watching. They're all too drunk and high to care." He assured me. "I just don't dance."

"But what are we going to do when it's our wedding. You have to dance! You can't not dance at your own wedding!" I urged.

"Our WHAT?"

Eek! Was that too soon? Stupid vodka shots making me say stuff I didn't mean. Well I meant that. But I didn't _mean _to say it out loud.

I shortly forgot about my big mouth because one of many distractions presented itself. I spotted a strange creature with a terrifying snout and teeth on the edge of the dance floor. A handler had a muzzle around its snapping mouth. "Why the hell is there an alligator here?" Someone screamed.

"Yes! It belongs out in the wild, not here. Please don't muzzle it like that. That's cruel." Brian cried.

"We're in Florida, darling. Of course I hired a guy to bring his gator to enjoy the evening with us. What kind of party would it be without one?" Freddie announced.

"What the fuck, Freddie?" Deaky cried.

"Ohh! Such foul language coming from my baby! Would you kiss your Miami with that mouth, darling?" Freddie clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

"Freddie, I'm all for extravagant parties, but I don't think it's a good idea to bring an alligator to a night club. We always hear about men in Florida on the news for a reason." Jim said. "Don't be a Florida man, Freddie."

"Ol' Snapper here won't kill anyone." The handler said unconvincingly. "I found him chilling in the park munching on some ducks...maybe he chomped on some kids by the playground. Florida Wildlife says he's protected by environmental law and they can't do nothing about it, so I took him off the locals' hands privately and off the record. Now they don't have to worry. They can go to the park and see the ducks without being afraid of getting eaten by an alligator."

Brian took out his phone. "I'm reporting you to Florida Wildlife. That poor creature needs to be returned to its natural habitat."

"Here I have an idea. Will this calm everybody down?" Freddie plucked the pair of aviators out of Professor Smith's pocket and placed them onto the face of the alligator. "See? Now he's got his sunglasses on and he's ready to party! Are we all happy now? Can we return to having fun?"

"Damn it! That was my favorite pair of aviators!" Smith fisted his hand in the air angrily.

"Serves you right for discouraging Brian from following his dreams!" I shouted.

"_You're _my dream, Roggie. I'll follow you anywhere." Brian said.

I nearly melted. "I love you, you sap!" I declared.Brian was drunk. I could tell because he was more focused on me than the muzzled animal who needed his help. Sober Brian wouldn't busy himself making out with me while the gator was being mistreated. And I don't think he'd kiss me with such a passion while his evil professor was within viewing distance. I'd have to get him drunk more often. This was fun!

"Wait is that Pitbull?" Deaky exclaimed.

I looked around for a dog but couldn't find any. Deaky was looking at a bald man in a suit. He took the aviators from the alligator, put them on and started to rap.

"I guess there are worse white rappers from Florida who can show up." Brian said.

"Oh yes. I was told that if you throw a wild party in the 305 area code, you'll summon Pitbull. I thought that was a Miami urban legend, but apparently it's true." Freddie explained.

"Hey, Hey! I'm Mr. 305. Mr. Worldwide. Here to have myself a real good time with my friend Mr. Fahrenheit." Pitbull rapped.

Freddie cringed. "Don't get me wrong, darlings, he has no talent musically, but he loves to party, so I can appreciate that."

"¿Donde esta el baño?" Pitbull inquired.

"And he also speaks Spanish. Oh what a sexy language!" Freddie proclaimed.

"Ahora voy al baño. ¡Adios!"

"¡Adios amigo!" Freddie waved.

"What did he say?" I asked.

"Oh I don't have a clue. Spanish sounds so romantic. Jim, darling, learn Spanish so you can tell me dirty things in español."

"Um I think he just said he was going to the bathroom. Nothing very romantic about that." Jim said.

"You know what would be romantic?" I got a brilliant idea. I went back to the bar and ordered two more shots. "Let's drink from each other. Doesn't that sound like fun, Bri." I handed him one of the glasses.

"Takes coordination." Brian murmured focusing on lowering his glass to my mouth as I lifted mine to meet his lips. I couldn't reach high enough. So I stood on my tiptoes.The alcohol was spilled everywhere but its intended destination.

"You've got whiskey dripping down your chin." Brian chuckled.

"Well that backfired." I snickered. I ordered us two more shots to drink ourselves as Brian grabbed some napkins to clean up our mess.

Finally I was able to laugh at my own clumsiness. Normally it was something I dreaded. Spilling drinks, bumping into things, tripping and falling—you name it I faced all these blunders on a daily basis reminding me that I could never be like everyone else. Now I was just your run of the mill oafish but charming drunk. My foolishness was a result of the alcohol. It was a choice and not a curse of a dark world. "I LOVE NOT BEING BLIND!" I screamed. By this point I had lost track of how many shots we'd taken. I think Brian might be beating me.

"I love you blind or not." Brian said. He leaned down to kiss me but somehow lost his balance and ended up falling into the floor.

Professor Smith walked by. "Hiding from me again, May?"

"T-Too much to drink." Brian laughed. He looked back up into my eyes. "Roggie, Rog, Roger, love, angel, soulmate, husband...h-help me up?"

"You are drunker than me. How did that happen?" I took Brian's hands and helped him stumble to his feet. He clung to me. "I don't want a tattoo." Brian said almost like a child.

"It's okay. You don't have to get one." I assured him.

"Marry me." He slurred.

'_Yes!' _"I don't think you'll remember this proposal tomorrow. Sorry, babe. Ask me when you're sober."

"I did." Brian sighed. "You threw up on me. You were the drunk one. You don't remember it."

"Right." I said sarcastically. "Believe me, if you seriously proposed, I'd bloody well remember it. Drunk or not."

"You didn't give me an answer. Not then. Not now. What's your answer?"

_'My answer is yes.' _"My answer is get a ring and do it properly when we're both sober."

"I have a ring." Brian announced. "It's in the safe in our hotel room. I am serious about this. I'd um get down on one knee but I think I'll fall again. So what's your answer?"

"What are his choices?" Professor Smith interjected. "Is this multiple choice? You've gotta clarify these things, Brian. Use your noggin! I know you've got a brain hidden somewhere beneath all that hair."

"Can I please punch him?" I begged.

"I'm drunk. Oh God! Roger, I'm sorry. I just fucking proposed in front of my professor even less romantically than the first time somehow. I'm sorry. This was a mistake. Forget it."

"Hey, it's alright. If you ask me properly I think you'll get the answer you're looking for."I reassured him.

Brian's eyes lit up. Then he threw up and all talk of proposals ended right then and there.

"AY-OH! First puke of the night!" Freddie applauded. "Jim, dear, you owe me. I said it would be Brian."

"Maybe we should call it a night, honey. It's getting late and we're both intoxicated." Brian slurred.

"You can barely stand on your feet." I laughed. "Let's get you home, baby. It's my turn to take care of you this time.Just sit down and try not to throw up again while I say goodbye to everyone for us."

Freddie caught me waving and walked over to us. "No tattoos!" Brian screamed.

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Relax, darling. I just wanted to say have a good night. Do you need me to get you an Uber?"

"Yes please." I requested.

"Here, Roger, let me show you how to do it so you can learn." Freddie took out his phone and went through the steps. I was too drunk to take it all in. Too many symbols and a written text that was foreign to me. I felt dizzy.

"And you see this bloke has 4.7 stars. That's good..." Freddie explained as he pushed more buttons. I was so lost. I wanted to cry. The visible world was attainable now but I was still restricted by so many elements and it was frustrating.

"Perfect! Now all you have to do is wait for Julian to arrive in that blue Toyota. You can go say goodbye to Deaky in the meantime." Freddie took my hand and guided me over to where Deaky was sitting with Ronnie's grandfather.

"Now listen here sonny," The old man conversed, "Grandma Nora and I aren't getting any younger. We wanna see our great grand babies before we die. So don't you misfire."

Freddie shrieked. "How dare you give my baby the sex talk! He's too young and innocent for that."

"Freddie please I'm getting married." Deaky protested.

"I'm leaving, Deaks. Brian's so drunk he can barely sit up over there." I pointed back to where my boyfriend was waiting for me. He looked green like he was about to hurl.

"Excuse me, Grandpa Edward." John said politely. He got up and gave me a big hug. "Get back to the hotel safe, okay? Do you need me to get you an Uber?"

"Already taken care of, darling!" Freddie proclaimed.

"Oh Freddie, what would I ever do without you?" Deaky cooed.

"I just love taking extra special care of you, my little creampuff."Freddie bopped his nose.

John turned bright red. I knew Freddie embarrassed him a lot, but now I could really appreciate Deaky's reactions because I could see them.

Freddie walked me and Brian out. Well, we walked Brian out. He stopped to throw up on the curb before we made it to the parked Uber. "Are you sure you can handle him?" Freddie wondered. "The last time he was this drunk...you know what happened."

"We'll be fine, Fred. I don't want this relationship to be one-sided.I need to be able to do things for Brian too.Now that I can see I don't have any excuses. I need to be there for the people I love."

When Brian proposed for real, I wanted him to know that he was marrying somebody who could care for him as well. Now was my chance to prove myself.

"Call if you need anything, darling. I really mean that." Freddie said sincerely. "I am an expert on dealing with hangovers. You should have seen me with Jim the morning after St. Patrick's Day.If he ever gets mad or annoyed with me, I just bring up how I cared for him, and suddenly he goes quiet and professes his love for me. In fact I miss my Jimmy boy. I'm gonna go back in there and kiss him...kiss him so hard he nearly faints."

I returned to where Brian was waiting for me. "Roggie!" He beamed.

"Feeling any better, love?" I asked.

"N-No." Brian shook his head. "How 'bout you? You're drunk too. Are you doing all right?"

'_Nope. I'm dizzy and a little disoriented.' _I thought. "Don't worry about me. Let's get you into that Uber." I held Brian's hand to help him keep his balance as he stepped into the car.

"Hi!" The driver greeted. "My name's Julian. There's water bottles back there for you. Says here you're heading to the Scaramouche Fandango Hotel and your fare's already paid for so you don't have to worry. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride."

Bless Freddie! He already paid for it and everything.

Brian looked out the window. "Look those men going into the club! Their vests say Florida Wildlife. They heard my call! I did it! They're coming to save the alligator! I did it!"

"Yes you did! You saved that gator!" I applauded. "Here have some water. It'll help you sober up."

***

"What a night!" Brian collapsed onto the bed not bothering to get undressed or even take his shoes off. He slurred something else inaudibly before shutting his eyes and giving way to snores.

"What a night indeed." I sighed, changing him into his pajamas as he slept soundly. Brian was out cold. I joined him in bed, but didn't sleep. I stared at the safe where Brian claimed to have a ring. Was it true? The numbers were foreign to me, and even if they were in Braille, I wouldn't even know the combination.

"My answer is yes." I whispered, planting a kiss on his sleeping lips. "I'd marry you in a heartbeat."

With that off my chest, I was able to at last let sleep overcome me...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: How many proposals failed or otherwise do you want in this story?  
My brain: Yes.
> 
> I'm coming home today so updates should be more frequent now. Hope you enjoyed this strange chapter 💖


	10. 1 and 3/7th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger receives bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 hours in a car on a family road trip? *Plugs in headphones, blasts Queen and writes!* This is the result LOL. Little bit of angst but nothing our lovebirds can't handle so long as they have each other ❤️

I woke up with a slight headache but nothing too bad. Maybe I was building up an alcohol tolerance. That could only be a good thing, right? "Brimi?" I slurred reaching over... The bed was empty. I panicked and sat up. Where was Brian?

Freddie walked into the room holding a mug of coffee. "Good morning, darling. Coffee helps. Do you have a hangover?"

"N-Not too bad. Where's Bri?"

Freddie sat down on the edge of the bed, setting the coffee on the nightstand. "I'm going to sound like a creep, but when I got back from the party last night, I decided to check on you."

"You have our room key?" I brushed my hair out of my face.

"Of course I do. I have everybody's room key." Freddie replied nonchalantly. "Anyway, you two looked like crap no offense. Cute crap of course, but crap nonetheless."

"Can crap be cute?" I questioned.

"Brian's pajamas were inside out and you were just wearing his NASA t-shirt that was huge on you, and both of you were disheveled. It was adorable. So yes. Anyway, I volunteered to take care of you, and Jim's watching Brian. I don't think Brian wants me to be around him while he's drunk or having a hangover because of the whole tattoo fiasco. But it works out for me because I get to be with you. So how do you take your coffee, dear? I have cream and sugar here for you."

"No cream and 1 and 3/7th sugars please. Thanks." I murmured.

"1...what?"

"1 and 3/7th." I clarified.

"Uh-huh." Freddie scratched his head. "So 3 sugars?"

"No. 1 and 3/7th." I said again.

"7 sugars?"

"Just forget it! I'll get it myself." I cried reaching for the bowl of sugars.

"That's the cream, darling, not the sugar." Freddie frowned.

"Fuck." I was tempted to throw the sugar or the cream or whatever the hell I was holding at his face, but Freddie was only trying to help. It wasn't his fault I was so pathetic I couldn't tell the difference between cream and sugar. "Why am I so dumb?" I sighed.

"You're not. You're actually brilliant. Most people wouldn't be able to navigate through a dark world and adjust so well to all this newness. We're all very proud of you, Roger. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself." Freddie said. "Here is the sugar. See, it's not a liquid. They're little cubes."

"Makes sense." I observed as I dished out the precise amount of sugar I desired. 1 and 3/7th. Not too difficult at all. I didn't understand what all the fuss was about.

"So are you excited for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night? Karen will be sure to bitch about gluten. It'll be fun to get drunk again and laugh at her stupidity."

The countdown to festivities reminded me of that looming deadline. "Shit! I have to write my best man speech. I only have 2 days, and I've got nothing. I don't wanna let Deaky and Ronnie down."

"Wanna hear a secret?" Freddie whispered. "I haven't rehearsed the song Deaky wrote for Ronnie. I'm horrified to sing it in front of everybody even if Brian accompanies me on guitar."

"Why? You're Freddie fucking Mercury. You can do no wrong. You've sung in front of people before. Remember? At the engagement party. It went fine. Better than fine. You're the best singer ever and that's not an exaggeration."

"You were blind then darling. You only heard me. You didn't see these." He pointed to his teeth sadly.

"You're an idiot." I cried. "Nobody cares about your fucking teeth, Freddie. We wanna hear you sing. Because there is no one out there who even has a fraction of your talent and if you let your teeth stop you then you're just being stupid."

"I think I'll be able to do it if Brian plays guitar for me. You wanna sing backup vocals? That'll help."

"I-I don't sing." I dismissed. Where would he get that silly idea? I played drums. That was it.

"Yes you do. Deaky says he heard you singing in the shower. High voice, great falsetto. I think I could work with that. We could harmonize."

No matter what John did I never seemed to get mad at him. He called my father, told Freddie I sang in the shower, invited Karen to the wedd—Oh wait that one was Ronnie. Yup, I could be mad at Veronica, but not John. Maybe I could write a joke about how Deaky could never anger me and put it into the best man speech. Thinking about delivering that speech made my stomach churn with nerves. All those eyes on me...

"Freddie, how do you get over your stage freight when you perform with the royal ballet?"I wondered. "I know you're not alone on stage, but still. Everyone's looking at you even if you're in a group."

"A good question." Freddie fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt. "Well honestly, I know it's cliche, but I just picture everyone butt naked. Lots of fun and seems to do the trick every time. You should try it. Really calms the nerves. Just imagine all those sexy people in the audience without any clothes on."

"Only sexy people go to the ballet?" I laughed.

"No, only sexy people pay to see _me _in the ballet. No one in my audience is unattractive. I simply won't allow it. I'll kick 'em out. That hasn't happened yet." I couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

"Wait a minute. You probably don't have much experience imagining people in the nude because you haven't seen enough naked people in action." Freddie theorized. "Have you even seen porn yet, darling?"

"Does ASMR porn count?" I inquired.

"My God! That would have been the first thing I did if I got my vision back." Freddie cried. "This simply won't do." He grabbed Brian's computer and placed it on my lap.

"Um, I'm not sure Brian will appreciate this." I said as Freddie opened it up.

"I didn't bring my computer and Jim installed those stupid pop up blockers that won't let me get onto porn sites on his. Of course I don't need porn now that I have Jim all to myself, but this isn't about me. What's Brian's password?"

"How should I know?" I really didn't like this idea. I felt like I was violating Brian's trust. "I don't need porn either you know. I also found my soulmate."

"Yes, yes, I know, but this is more so you can experience it at least once in your life. Now I'm gonna try to guess the password. Hmm... 1234." A red x appeared on the screen with an error message I couldn't read. "Password." Freddie tried again.

"You really think Brian's dumb enough to make his password Password or 1234?" I rolled my eyes. "Try his birthday or something."

"Let's try Badgers. That might work." Freddie typed it in and the same error message appeared. "Damn it!" "SpaceBadgers." Freddie tried again in vain.

"Forget it." I said. "This is wrong. Brian has a password for a reason. He doesn't want people snooping around on his computer and using it to look at porn."

"RogerTaylor no spaces." Freddie gave it one more try. Please. Why would Brian ever have my name as his—"Holy shit it worked!"

The screen shifted to Brian's home screen with a picture of a space shuttle. Meaningless icons were scattered across the background.

"So which button is google?" I asked.

"Hang on. Aren't you curious about what's in all these files? I know they're all labeled with space stuff, but one of them has to be a code or something. Maybe Brian's hiding something top secret." Freddie suspected.

"It's probably all work related." I figured.

Freddie of course ignored me and began to open all the files revealing hundreds of documents relating to cosmic dust and astrophysics things that I wouldn't bother trying to comprehend. "Are you satisfied?"

"Ahh man. That's disappointing." Freddie pouted. He clicked open the very last folder just because he could. It was filled with information on badgers and wildlife conservation and Brian's plans to help stop the culling for when he moved back to London. "Seems like he's been planning this move back to London for much longer than we thought." Freddie mused.

I nodded. "I'm glad that I'm not the only reason for the move. I'd feel guilty if he gave up NASA just for me. But the badgers are really important to him."

"I think you played a larger roll than you might believe. Either way I'm glad Brian's moving back. Now that I'm switching to the permanent London cast, we can all be close by and I'll never be lonely or homesick ever again." Freddie proclaimed. "Do you know if Brian's new flat that you're moving into is close to Garden Lodge?"

"No idea. I'm following him _blindly." _I joked. It was true though. I didn't know anything about the new flat Brian was renting for us. I was just so eager to move in with him and start a life together. 

Of course there was that underlying fear that John and Veronica would kick me out once they were married. I couldn't stay with them forever. Soon they'd want to start a family. I couldn't go back to living with my parents. Living with Brian was the perfect solution.

"You should take a look at Brian's search history. It's always good to know what's on his mind. I can guarantee 90% of it is about badger care." Freddie opened up a new screen and clicked on an icon bringing up more words. "Adult education? Dental schools? Why would Brian ever be interested in this kinda stuff?...Braille accommodating DMVs...do those even exist?...Schools that accept braille standardized test scores....Ohhhh. He's been researching things to help you create a future for yourself. That is so sweet!"

"He really wants me to succeed." I grinned feeling those butterflies in my stomach again. Why was I so lucky?

"Yes, it seems like his most recent searches are things for you." Freddie noted. "You've found yourself one devoted man...Oh my god! He's really devoted. Look at this. Poor lovestruck fool actually googled How to Propo—You know what I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want you to know about that until the deed is done. Forget I said anything. That'll be a surprise."

Maybe I should google How to Say Yes to a Proposal. Again, I looked at that safe, but this time with a knowing smile. I was certain the ring was in there. This was all happening so fast, but I couldn't be more excited!

My phone rang interrupting my small moment of elation. It could only be one person. Well it could be Clare because she also called me a lot, but as much as I loved hearing from my sister, I didn't want to answer to her voice. Unfortunately, Freddie grabbed the phone before I could get to it. "A flip phone. How antique!" He answered it for me. "Roger Taylor's good old fashioned telephone. How may I help you, darling?"

"I have my own receptionist now." I laughed holding out my hand and beckoning him to give me my phone back.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you have no right to speak to me or Roger like that. I don't know who you think you are, but—Well fuck you too, Mr. Taylor!...You know what go ahead and cut Roger off financially. Do you have any idea how much money I have? I can take care of him for life. I'm practically a celebrity. The royal ballet pays me enough to...What do you mean ballet is only for the gays?...Oh darling, you did not just call me the F-word. Say that again, I fucking dare you!...Guess what you twisted son of a bitch, you don't deserve Roger Meddows Taylor in your life. I don't care what your relation is to him blood wise, he is too pure of a person to have you in his family, you pathetic piece of shit. As a member of his new family which is real and genuinely loves him, I'm going to make him feel worthwhile because he is nothing but a delightful beam of sunshine who needs to be cherished. So you can go to hell, darling!"

My jaw dropped as Freddie hung up on my father. I wasn't sure if I wanted to applaud him or scold him. Instead I hugged him fighting back tears. "There, there, darling. Remember, every night's a party at Melina's mansion."

"B-But I'm cut off. Whether I like it or not, I rely on my family for money. My job at the library is minimum wage. I'll need to get another job to pay for groceries and—and..."

"We'll take care of you, darling. Don't worry about any of that. I'll personally provide for you. I can arrange for Joe come over and cook for you for every single meal if you'd like."

"Freddie, if I accept all that, then Michael's right and I'm nothing more than a freeloader. I have to work. I'm already leeching off of your brothers for shelter. I should be able to provide for myself for food at the very least. I'm able-bodied now. I should be able to get a job." I reasoned.

"Nothing that asshole says is true!" Freddie shouted. "You don't need him. We love you. You're a part of_ our_ family now. We'll look after you. I always see to it that those I love are taken care of and get what they deserve. Do you understand?"

"B-But I don't deserve—"

"—No! Stop that shit! You deserve it all my dear. Ask anyone. John will say you're the best friend he's ever had, Veronica will say you're such a sweetheart, and Brian, he could just go on and on about how much he loves you. You're my baby brother, darling, just like my Deaky and Brimi."

"Freddie...y-you're making me cry!" Fuck! I did not need all this mixed emotion in the middle of my hungover morning. I was on vacation and having fun for once in my life. Why did I have to cry? Even when my eyes were working they were still broken. I couldn't stop the tears from spilling.

"Shh. It's alright." Freddie consoled. "Just drink your coffee with 37 sugars. Everything will be okay. I promise. There's still a party at Melina's mansion and it can't go on without you. You're the guest of honor."

I wiped my tears. "For the last time it's 1 and 3/7th." I said and stuck my tongue out to prove my point.

_Brian's POV_

"For the last time, Brian, you didn't get another tattoo." Jim said. "I thought Freddie was exaggerating when he said you wouldn't react well to waking up with a hangover."

"Are you sure?" I cried, trying to look at my back. "Look again!" I did not want a repeat of last time. All I remembered from last night was an alligator and falling asleep next to Roger and having a horrible nightmare where I died from hepatitis in the hospital.

"You're fine." Jim promised.

I sighed finally accepting that nothing too crazy had happened last night that would put any of us in the hospital. "Thanks for making sure Rog and I are good." I said. More fuzzy memories returned of Roger helping me into an Uber and back into the hotel. "You know I think Roger could have taken care of me too. Why'd you separate us like this?"

"Freddie wasn't sure you'd take well to having him caring for you both. So we split the burden."

Oh how embarrassing! At least Roger was a cute drunk. I didn't have that going for me. I was more of a reckless drunk. "How bad was I last night? Anything I might regret?"

"You think you're bad? You should see me on St. Patrick's Day." Jim laughed. "You fell down quite a bit from what I saw, but that seems about it."

"Good." I let out a sigh of relief. No tattoos and no cheating on my Roggie heaven forbid. No. I wouldn't do that. Ever.

"Shame you can't remember most of it. It was a wild party. I had myself a real good time. Freddie said he felt alive." Jim smiled to himself reminiscing. "It was a fun night. I got Miami's blessing earlier in the evening when everyone was still sober. I wish there was a way to know if Bomi would approve of me or not. I'm not sure if he'd be too happy with his son marrying another man, let alone a white Catholic man."

"I think he'd just want Freddie to be happy. You two are soulmates. He'd honor that. Besides, Miami's blessing and approval from Freddie's brothers are all you need." I told him. Knowing Freddie though he would marry Jim even if he didn't have our blessing. Naturally though, he and Jim were the perfect couple, and I couldn't be more pleased with the two of them. How could anyone say no to them?

"It's just a relief that you're all so welcoming to me. I don't know what I'd do if my own soulmate's family didn't get along well with me. Luckily our families seem to mesh."

"Yeah that's a good thing..." It was never a good idea to compare two relationships. I shook the idea from my mind.

But then again, Jim and Freddie had been dating much longer than me and Roger. They'd been together officially for nearly a year. The two of us, on the other hand, just made it official a few days ago. Jim took his time before deciding to propose. He got to meet Freddie's family and sought Miami's blessing. Was I rushing into things too quickly? I wanted nothing to do with Michael Taylor, but I should at least meet Roger's mother and sister. They should get to know me before I popped the question. It felt wrong to leave Roger's family out of this process. Even that motherfucker who dared to call himself Roger's father should at least be introduced to me. I'd marry Roger regardless of Michael's thoughts, but at the end of the day, he should know if we were engaged. I'd rather my future father-in-law be aware of our wedding preferably before he received a wedding invitation. If it were up to me, we'd exclude him, but I wasn't sure what Roger would want.

The walls were thin. I learned that from the noise complaints we received. However, now it became more apparent because I could hear the heart wrenching sound of my soulmate crying in the room next door. "Roger's crying. He needs me."

"I'm sure Freddie is trying his best." Jim said. "But you should be the one to comfort Roger. If I were ever upset, I'd want Freddie to be the one to console me."

I was dizzy, but I made my way over to the room next door. I fumbled with the room key. "I'm coming Roggie." I murmured finally getting it.

My laptop was open and my search history was displayed, but I didn't care. I just saw Roger with his face buried in his hands and Freddie hugging him. "What happened?" I demanded.

Roger looked up his blue eyes meeting mine. "Brimi?" He sniffled.

"His father called." That was all Freddie needed to say. I made up my mind. Michael Taylor would not be invited to our wedding.

"Come here, baby." I welcomed him into my arms. "It's alright. Whatever he said, I'll always love you and he can't do anything to change that."

"I-I'm cut off financially." Roger sobbed. "I have nothing. I'm just a fucking freeloader."

That bastard! How dare he stop supporting his own son who spent nearly his whole life in the dark! Well, Roger was mine to care for, so it didn't matter. I'd take care of him. I could afford it.

"You have nothing to worry about." I told him. "And you're not a freeloader. Don't say that. What about your job in the library?"

"That's minimum wage, Bri. I-I have nothing to offer. I don't think I can work anywhere else. Can't read and write..."

"You_ can_ but just in Braille." I reminded him. "And you can always learn. You're so quick to catch onto things. Look how well you're doing experiencing all these new things for the very first time! I'm here to help however I can."

"We'll all help you, darling." Freddie said. "Never question your worth ever again or you and I will have a serious problem."

"Because you're worth everything and more." I told him. "You're my light."

"No _you're _my light. I couldn't see without you. You guide me." Roger's eyes watered with more tears but they were happy tears I could tell.

"You just gave me diabetes. That was too sweet. I need insulin."Freddie exclaimed.

I shook my head. "Don't joke like that, Freddie."

"Well I got Roger smiling again. So I think I can be forgiven."

Roger had such a pretty smile. I couldn't resist myself. I captured those pink lips with a kiss.

"Before you two get down and make love, can we rehearse Deaky's song for the wedding? I can't sing it without you two. It's for John so we have to make it absolutely perfect!"

"I guess if you want a higher harmony I can try it." Roger said tentatively.

I had never heard Roger sing. I bet he had the voice of an angel. He took my hand and squeezed it anxiously. "If I sing will you stand right next to me the whole time while you play guitar?"

"Of course." I agreed.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's rock and roll!" Freddie shouted.


	11. Thunderbolts and Lightning Very Very Frightening Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger suddenly has multiple secrets he has to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My cousin is actually getting married this weekend. I'm super excited for the wedding! I'm not a bridesmaid or anything but that's alright because it's still gonna be lots of fun. And the world doesn't revolve around me unlike what I'd like to believe. I'm there not for myself, but to celebrate my cousin and her groom. I'm very happy they found each other cause they make a really cute couple. Ship! So yeah there's a wedding taking place in Miami Beach both IRL and in the fanfiction. Go figure!

_Roger's POV_

_I was face to face with my father, seeing him for the very first time. His eyes were beady and red with sharp menacing eyebrows pointed downward. With skin so pale that I could see his veins, he almost didn't appear human. But then again what do I know about appearances?_

_"So you've found somebody to love, huh?" Michael scoffed. "I feel sorry for that bastard. He's doomed to spend the rest of his life with you burdening him. You're even worse off now than when you were blind. Before you had a physical disability, but now you're just plain old retarded."_

_"Don't use the r-word please. I don't appreciate that." My voice came out quivery and small. I doubt he even heard me._

_"You can't read, can't write. You're clumsy as fuck. Don't know up from down, left from right. What are you good for? Absolutely nothing. I'm telling you, this soulmate of yours, he's not your lover, he's your caregiver. I don't know what's in it for him. He's got no real skin in the game. If I were him I would have walked out on you long ago. Luckily for you, I'm a decent guy, far from a dead beat. I provide for you and your mum and sis. Of course now I'm putting my foot down and cutting you off financially cause you're so damn worthless even to your own family. So you really do have nothing now. Completely useless. Might as well still be blind."_

_And then just like that, the dreaded darkness returned. All I could hear was Michael's cruel laughter. The same mocking chortles that followed his favorite joke of my childhood. "Hey, look at that! Oh wait you can't." If I had a penny for every time he said that to me, I wouldn't have to worry about losing his financial support._

_"Hey, look at that! Oh wait you can't." There it was again. Michael's voice on an endless loop, his howling laughter echoing through the inescapable darkness. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to my personal hell._

I woke up to the familiar pitter-patter of rain drizzling down from above.I always hated the sound of rain because it meant things outside were wet and slippery, and if I were outside, I could either fall or get struck by lightning. Yet, it was the sudden bang of thunder that scared me more. Lightning was meaningless to me because all I saw was darkness despite electricity supposedly surging through the sky like Thor. Drumming strangely enough didn't help me overcome my fear. The sound of thunder always startled me and made me embarrass myself with uncontrollable shrilly screams.

Since having my vision back, I always woke up afraid. I dared to open my eyes praying that something would still be something beyond this darkness. The ceiling was white. I could see it. With a sigh of relief, I struggled to forget my nightmare and ignore the sound of rain pounding against the window.Brian could help me. He always did. Somehow I could still hear Michael's taunting voice. '_It's not fair for him to be your caregiver. This relationship isn't healthy. End it now before you drive Brian mad.'_

Naturally, I reached over, not thinking to look. I grasped empty bed sheets, my hand ran across a vacant mattress. "Brimi, are you there?" I turned only to be greeted by no one. I was alone. Was Dad right? Did I pester Brian too much with all of my needs and drive him away?

The door swung open, and I received my answer. Brian walked in soaking wet followed by a panting Ringo his fur also covered in rainwater. He unhooked the leash and Ringo shook the water off his fluffy coat getting raindrops everywhere.

"I slept through his whimpers for a morning walk again, didn't I?" I sighed. I couldn't even take proper care of a dog. In fact, as a guide dog Ringo took care of me. How pathetic!

"You were in such a deep sleep. I didn't want to wake you. We got caught in the rain. The weather is pretty nasty out there. Tropical storm Trixie is overhead."Brian leaned over the bed to give me a kiss, but Ringo beat him to it, jumping up in between us to lick my face. "Good morning to you too, buddy! You smell like a wet dog." I laughed.

"Have you seen rain yet, Roggie?" Brian opened the blinds revealing the storm outside. The sky was dark and water poured down in endless streams from the thick storm clouds blocking the sun. I pressed my face to the window taking in the new sight. "It's not as frightening as I thought it would be."

Nature decided to clap back (literally) because a mighty strike of roaring thunder made me scream. The thunder caught me off guard as usual. I screamed again when the sky brightened in a sudden display of light that happened so fast I would have missed it had I blinked. "W-What the hell was that?"

"Thunderbolts and lightning." Brian said. I screamed when thunder struck again with the following burst of light. "I don't like it anymore now that I can see it." I murmured.

"Well we're safe in here. Not much I can do about it. Nature can be scary sometimes, but it's also very beautiful and we're all a part of it. Every creature on earth shares a role in--" _BANG! _I shrieked and leapt into Brian's arms.

"Ahh." Brian laughed, and I felt humiliated, but powerless to do anything about it. "Have you ever seen The Sound of Music?" He asked.

"No, I've never _seen _it. Except for that 3D space show from the other day, I haven't _seen _any movies. But I swear to God, Bri, if you start singing that stupid bloody song I will--"

_"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..."_

"AAAA! I fucking hate show tunes!" I wailed.

"Don't say that in front of Freddie. He will murder you." Brian warned. "Growing up with a Broadway fanatic like him, Deaky and I picked up a taste for musical theater. It's corny and definitely not rock and roll, but there are worse things out there. Plus you get a lot of talented vocalists and musicians coming together to put on a great production." 

"But it's all so cheesy and chipper and...ugh! How can you stand that stuff?" I realized that having this argument took my mind off the storm and I felt less afraid. Still I didn't understand why people were so into stage musicals. Maybe if I could literally see one I'd have my mind changed.

"Oooh. I know something you might like. Hopefully I still have it." Brian went to his laptop. He opened one of the files that Freddie had been snooping through earlier. "I have this video saved in my badger folder under the name 'Cute baby badger'. Freddie will never know what the video really is. He thought it was deleted forever."

The video that he clicked on was not a cute baby badger. It was a fuzzy video that didn't seem too professional. A slender boy with long black hair eyed the camera. _"Are you filming? Remember to hit record this time."_

"Oh my God! Is that Freddie?" I gasped.

"He was in the 9th grade, only 15 years old. What a little bean!" Brian smiled.

_"Ready Freddie! Camera's rolling!" _A high pitched voice squeaked from off screen. "Awww, that's baby Deaky filming, isn't it? He must've been so cute back then!" I squealed.

"_Hello, darlings! I'm Freddie Mercury and this is my audition tape for the role of the Phantom in Galileo High's production of Phantom of the Opera." _He paused awkwardly. "_Brimi, that's your cue!"_

Brian cursed. "I forgot I'm in this too." He cringed when his pre-pubescent voice cracked from off screen. _"What is this place?"_

_"Well, Christine, this is my sanctuary of music where I create my music of the night." _Freddie was overdramatic in his delivery.

I snorted when Brian deadpanned, _"Why did you bring me here?" _He sounded so disinterested. And I thought I was a bad actor!

Then Freddie started to sing.

_"You have come here_

_For one purpose and one alone_

_Since the moment I first heard you sing_

_I have needed you with me to serve me, to sing_

_For my music_

_My music..."_

"Damn." I ran my hands across my arms. Goosebumps. "He's really bloody good. Why am I not surprised? Of course it's good. It's Freddie. The man's a muse."

"He would have gotten the role hands down had he not chickened out. Even though he never submitted his video I still kept it because I knew he'd be famous some day. I'm glad he found his niche in ballet and he is a big star in the dance community, but I feel like Fred could have been a rockstar in another life. Same with me. I chose science over music, and Deaky followed in my footsteps." Brian leaned back and pondered about what could have been. "Oh well. I'm grateful that in this life I found my soulmate."

There was another rumble of thunder but I didn't scream this time. I was so preoccupied with Brian. Michael was a dirty liar. This was a healthy relationship. We supported one another in our endeavors and achievements. I planned to get my life on track and someday become a dentist. I wasn't a freeloader. I just needed some time to relearn everything. Even if it took years, I set a goal to feel like I had no longer had to rely on anyone. Once I gained that independence, I could find peace.

"I'm sorry I completely lost my train of thought." Brian blinked and purposefully looked away from my eyes. They must be distracting him. "What were we talking about?"

"How cute you look when you're all wet after getting caught in the rain." I twirled a soaked curl around my finger.

"I should shower. Like I said, not a good beach day. Good thing the rehearsal dinner is all indoors tonight. I believe Freddie planned accordingly because of hurricane season." Brian's words went over my head as I watched him take off his shirt. "I'll be out in about ten minutes. Just give a yell if you need anything." He shut the bathroom door much to my dismay. I heard the sound of the shower running. My ears were still reliable even with the addition of sight.

I pet Ringo. "What do you think, bud? Should I walk in on your other Dad uninvited and join him for a shower? It'll help conserve water. Hopefully he didn't lock me out. That would be inconsiderate."

I was about to check, but my phone rang. Oh no! Could Brian be calling me from the shower? No, that was dumb, but one can always hope. '_Please don't be Michael. Please don't be Michael.' _I prayed.

"H-Hello?" I tried to keep the nerves out of my voice.

"Hi Roggie! How's America? Did you get to meet Brian? Is he the one? Ask him if he sees in color. If he says yes then that means you're soulmates." Clare babbled all in one excited breath. She spoke very quickly so her sentences all flowed together like one long word. I knew my sister well. This meant she was really happy about something. I didn't get a word in as Clare continued. "Listen, I have some big news. In fact I think this is the best piece of news you'll ever receive in your life. I'm not exaggerating. Are you ready? Are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?"

"Clare, whatever it is I have even greater news." I owed her a call and now I was dying to tell her that not only was she correct about Brian being my soulmate but now I could see. That was the best news anyone could deliver. Nothing could top it.

"Roger Meddows Taylor, what I'm about to tell you will make me your favorite sister and put your good news to shame."

"You're my only sister, Clare." I reminded her. "Now out with it so I can tell you something even more amazing that you won't even believe."

"Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are doing a show together. It's just one night in Liverpool. Tickets sold out the second they announced a remaining Beatles reunion. I called the radio station and won 3 front row seats right in the center."

Screw my eyes. Clare was right. This was the greatest news imaginable. I screamed at a decibel high enough to make Ringo howl. "That's right I'm gonna see your human counterpart in concert!" I screeched. "I can't fucking believe it! This better not be a joke, Clare."

The rushing water from the shower stopped. "Roger? Are you alright?" Brian shouted.

"Shush! I'm on the phone with Clare! I need to hear her. This is super important!" I hollered. The water turned back on seconds later when he confirmed my scream didn't mean anything bad.

"Ohh. Was that Brian? Is he your soulmate? He sounded really concerned. How sweet!" Clare cooed.

"Yes, yes, Brimi's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I want to marry him," I stated haphazardly, "now let's go back to the thing about the Beatles. Is this the real life or this just fantasy?"

"Oh it's real." Clare confirmed. "The concert is later this month. I think the 19th, hang on let me check...Yeah July 19th at 8 pm."

July 19th was Brian's birthday. We'd be back in London by then and able to attend. I could surprise him with the tickets. That'd be such a special birthday present worthy of my soulmate.

"Now for the extra ticket, I was thinking of inviting Mom, but I'm not sure if**—**"

"**—**No! That ticket is going to Brian. Case closed." I tried to keep my voice lowered so I wouldn't ruin the surprise.

"Oh. Will he be in town?" Clare wondered.

"He's moving back to London and I'll be moving in with him." I explained.

"Wow! Is that the big news you wanted to tell me? Are y**—**two soulm**—**"

"Clare?"

"I**—**him**—**you**—**so..."

"I think we have a bad connection." I frowned. Could it be because of the weather?

"Roger**—**there?...Connection. We wi**—**talk later." She hung up or maybe we got disconnected.

Brian stepped out of the shower with a towel miraculously wrapped around all that hair. "So just your normal screaming conversation? Does Clare know about me? I'd like to meet her."

"You will." I assured him. "We lost the connection so I couldn't talk very long. I think it must be from the storm."

"Probably." He figured. "Did you at least get to tell her about your eyes? I bet she was thrilled to hear about that. Such a miracle that those pretty blue eyes can finally see."

"Shit! I didn't even get to tell her!" I cried.

"Really? What did you even talk about? That should have been the first thing you told her. I can't imagine anything else taking precedent." Brian wondered.

If I told him about the concert, I'd spoil the surprise. I didn't want to do that. "I'll call Clare back later. On a totally unrelated note, do you have any plans for your birthday?" Eek! That wasn't subtle enough.

"I do have a plan. Since our birthdays are just a week apart, I thought we could celebrate together. I can't tell you what I'm doing though. It's a surprise."

"Same." I blurted. "Just um don't make any plans for that night. You'll be busy...We'll be busy. Fuck!"

"You're worse than Freddie at keeping secrets. Don't worry. I won't pry. Whatever you're planning, I'm sure it'll be great. We have a lot to look forward to, don't we?"

I appreciated Brian's optimism. It was true. There was a whole world for me to explore. It was scary and I didn't have the financial backings from my father, but that didn't mean I was alone. I could conquer anything so long as I had my new family.

***

"Brian, there you are! We are at threat level AY-OH. It's a major emergency. You have to do something." Freddie bombarded Brian the moment we stepped off the lift. So much for enjoying a peaceful breakfast together. Maybe we should have ordered room service.

Brian shook his head. "Freddie, I told you if you use threat level AY-OH for every little thing that goes wrong, it loses its meaning. Just like the boy who cries wolf."

"But it's a REAL emergency this time, darling. I'm serious! I need your help." Freddie wailed. Jim stood behind him suppressing his laughter. "Freddie, it's really not a big deal. And what can Brian do?"

"What's going on?" I asked.

"It's this damn storm." Freddie clarified. "Tonight is the rehearsal dinner. What are we going to do?"

"Have the rehearsal dinner as planned?" Brian suggested.

"But it's storming outside. That's bad luck! What if it rains tomorrow? Oh no! No! The rain is ruining my creampuff's special time. This wasn't supposed to happen! Brimi, you have to do something!"

"What the hell can I do, Freddie?" Brian exclaimed. I snickered alongside Jim. I loved Freddie, we all did, but man could he be a big drama queen sometimes.

"You have ties. Call all of your scientist buddies at NASA. I bet one of them knows someone who's a high up meteorologist who can make it sunny and bright."

"Um, that's not how it works. Meteorologists can only report and predict the weather. They can't control it."

"Do I have to get Greta fucking Thunberg on the phone? Because I will if I have to. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure my creampuff has the perfect wedding with no rain at all!"

"Greta won't be able to do much either. The hotel already has a ban on plastic straws." Brian dismissed.

"Oh I know what I have to do, but I won't like it. I won't like at all!" With the way Freddie talked I expected something drastic, but all he did was take out his phone and make a call. Wait...

"No, Freddie! Don't do it! Don't pull a Karen! I swear if you're calling a manager I will-"

"--Hello, Trixie, darling, remember me?"

"Trixie? Who's Trixie?" I turned to Brian who face palmed. Jim scratched his head in confusion.

"Listen, dear, I still hate you with a burning passion. The only reason I called you is to tell you that if you don't put an end to your tropical storm, I will personally fly back to London and spray you with fruit fly repellent...No! What? Who said anything about getting back together...Fuck, you Paul! You're not going to ruin Deaky's wedding with your stupid storm. Go to hell! I'm blocking your number again. Bye-bye."

"Oh shit! Trixie is Paul Prenter?" Jim, usually a sweet and compassionate man from what I knew, practically smacked the phone out of Freddie's hand. "He's bad news, Fred. You said you were through with him."

"I am through with him. I just need him to call off his tropical storm. Look, I'm blocking his number again, see?"

"Keep it blocked this time, Freddie." Brian advised.

"You left me no choice, Brian. You refused to help me. It's still raining outside. This is horrible!" Freddie sighed.

Just then, the lift doors opened and Ronnie and John walked out hand in hand with smiles on their faces. They were giggling. _"It's like raaaaaiiiiin on your wedding day." _Ronnie crooned. _"It's a free riiide when you already paid." _Deaky belted. _"And who would have thought it figuuures." _The sang together.

John gasped when he saw us all gathered by the lift. "Oh! I hope you didn't hear us." Veronica only laughed. "It's fine, love. You have a beautiful voice and we're just having some fun. Now excuse me, I need the loo."

"So why is everyone out here in front of the lift? Shouldn't you be eating breakfast?" Deaky wondered.

"I'm so sorry, darling. Trixie is ruining your wedding. Brian says there's nothing I can do about it, but I'll do everything in my power to fix it." Freddie vowed.

"Who's Trixie?" John asked.

"He who must not be named." Brian clarified. Prenter must be a really bad ex the way they were all acting. Could Freddie really have dated the equivalent of Lord Voldemort? Deaky shuddered. "Oh God! I thought you rightfully told that fruit fly to fuck off. What could he possibly be doing here?"

"Oh no, he's not actually here. That would be a threat level above AY-OH. It's this nasty tropical storm Trixie. Only someone as diabolical as Paul could send it our way during your wedding." Freddie explained. God, it sounded even more stupid as he contextualized it.

John snorted with laughter. "Freddie, I love you, but you're a bonafide idiot. Ronnie and I were just joking around about how lucky we are that it's only a tropical storm and not a real hurricane. Everything's indoors. It'll be fine. Nothing can ruin our wedding. That's why we were singing that Alanis Morissette song. It came to mind." He hummed the tune of Ironic as he headed to the buffet. "Fun fact. Nothing in that song is ironic, and that's the irony."

"Ah, that actually makes a lot of sense." Brian nodded. "Deep." I murmured trying to wrap my head around the enigma. I finally understood it by the time we got our breakfast. "Ooooh. You expect a song called Ironic to be about ironic things, but it's not, and that's the irony. I get it!"

"Well even if it rains on his wedding day, I'll be happy so long as Deaky is. You are happy, right darling?" Freddie held his breath waiting for John's response.

"Of course. I'm marrying my best friend and the love of my life." He waved to Veronica as she returned from the bathroom. "Rain or shine it'll be a great day." Deaky said.

"See, Freddie. I told you there was no need to issue a threat level AY-OH. Everything is fine." Brian said. He caught my eye. "Better than fine." I blushed.

"Oh this is horrible! Where is the manager?" I could hear Karen's outraged shriek all the way from the lobby.

"Here we go again." Veronica groaned.

"What happened this time, Karen?" Brian sighed as the woman with the short angular hair approached our table, nostrils flaring in fury.

"Darling, don't waste your breath. She won't speak to you unless you're a manager." Freddie told Brian.

"This is unacceptable." Karen screamed holding up some sort of device in her hands.

"What is that?" I questioned.

"It's a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test. Some dumb bitch thought it was appropriate to flush it down and it clogged the toilet. Disgusting!" She ranted.

"And you fished it out of the toilet to show to the manager?" I tried and failed to make sense of Karen's logic.

"For all we know it's your pregnancy test and you're having more kids so you can take them." Freddie accused.

"No! I'm not an animal who discards her pregnancy test in the toilet. I think you and your gay friends are just jealous of my uterus."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Jim retorted putting his arm around Freddie.

"It means exactly what you think it does. You can't have a baby."

Jim gasped at her audacity. Brian held me back from slapping Karen for making that comment.

"We can adopt or have a surrogate you homophobic pice of shit! Now shut up before I call the manager on you, bitch." Freddie shouted.

"God, stop mansplaining me!I'm just concerned about this woman who thought it was alright to leave her pregnant pee stick in the toilet. It's a public health violation to flush them down and it needs to be addressed by a manager before people get hurt."

"You know it's a bigger health violation to take a used pregnancy test that's been in the toilet intoa buffet." Brian pointed out.

"How so?" Karen wondered. "There's no gluten on it, so I'm not cross contaminating anything."

"At least tell me you washed your hands." I all but begged.

"I doubt those eggs on your plate are even organic." She replied.

"What do organic eggs have to do with anything?" Deaky cried. "Please take that toilet infested pee stick away from our table while we're eating before we all lose our appetites."

"I'm sorry, are you a manager? You have no right to speak to me like that." Karen exclaimed.

"Auntie, I think they're giving away free coupons at the spa. You should go check it out." Ronnie suggested.

"Why didn't you say so, Veronica?" Karen dropped the pregnancy test into Ronnie's bowl of cereal and ran off on her quest for coupons. "I think I need to throw up!" Ronnie announced and ran back to the bathroom.

"We should really speak to a manager about this." I remarked.

***

The last time I was in this chapel, Brian had kissed me for the very first time bringing light into my world. It was eerie coming back with full vision especially now with that ominous echo of rain across the stained glass windows. The first thing I ever saw was sunlight peaking through them illuminating the room. An artificial overhead light replaced what would have been the sun as dark storm clouds were outside.

"Remember how afraid you were that you'd fall walking down the aisle?" Freddie reminded me. "Look at you now! If there was a mirror in here you actually could look at yourself now. I'm so proud of how far you've come, darling." He walked past me and Brian and made sure everyone was in the proper places for tomorrow so there'd be no bumbles.

"So, Mary you'll be holding my train as I walk down the aisle. It's a long train so be careful not to trip." Veronica instructed.

"Alright, so I walk down the aisle first?" Deaky asked.

"That's right. Just be your adorable self and walk right up to the altar nice and natural." Freddie prompted. "Everyone imagine the organ playing as he walks because that's what will happen!"

Miami and Ronnie's Mom followed Deaky. Then Freddie and Jim walked down the aisle arm in arm. "I hope the next time I do this I'm walking _to _you instead of with you." Freddie whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"The next time you do this will be tomorrow at the real wedding, but maybe the time after that you'll be walking to a groom." Jim hinted and Freddie squealed.

I was tempted to ask the same thing to Brian, but I didn't. There was a ring in that safe. It was only a matter of time...

We locked arms and walked down the aisle together. No cane or guide dog needed. Around the halfway point I slowed down. "It was right here." I whispered subtly marking the spot with my foot as we continued to walk. "I was standing right there when you kissed me and I saw the light."

"How could I ever forget?" Brian replied.

I should have been focused on the rehearsal, but all I could think about was that moment when I first opened my eyes to this new world.Brian reached for my hand again as we unlinked our arms at the altar. Thank goodness Freddie arranged for us to stand next to each other. I would go mad without Brian by my side.

"...And then he'll say I now pronounce you creampuff and wife**—**"

"**—**I'm not certified to wed creampies."  
The minister interrupted. "By law I can only marry non blood related adult humans."

Freddie clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "If you're gonna be technical about it. I'll just demonstrate with Jim." Freddie pulled Jim up to the center of the altar. "So now the picky minister would hypothetically say: I now pronounce you man and husband. You may kiss the groom. Everyone will cheer and you'll**—**" Jim kissed him. "Yes just like that. Deaky, Ronnie, were you watching? That's what you'll do tomorrow. Got it?"

"You'll pronounce us man and wife." John clarified to the minister.

"Yes that's what I was assuming." He nodded.

"Excuse me, Reverend." Jim assessed the minister as we all filed out of the chapel to get ready for the rehearsal dinner. It was rude to eavesdrop...

"I know you're not Catholic, but would you happen to know of any Catholic ministers who would participate in a same-sex marriage? The priest from my church in Ireland refused, and my family won't bless the marriage unless we have a traditional Catholic ceremony."

"The Catholic Church generally views homosexuality as a sin I'm afraid. Not many priests would consider it. My church although not Catholic is more open minded than most. Obviously you're not local. I would suggest searching for another church even if you have to travel far. I'm sure your partner wouldn't mind another destination wedding like this one."

Jim nodded. "Yes that's always an option. Freddie loves to travel the world. I think it could be fun. I'm definitely having lots of fun on this trip. Thank you."

I quickly caught up with the others before Jim could notice me snooping."Sorry just got distracted by the stained glass windows." I lied. "Lots of things to see."

"That's alright." Brian said.

"It looks like Jim is also taking in the scenery." Freddie looked back at Jim who was still in the chapel. "And I'm taking in his scenery." His eyes lingered on his boyfriend's backside.

"Wonder what he's talking to the reverend about." Deaky pondered. I wasn't supposed to know so I kept quiet.

"Confessing his sins most likely." Freddie smirked.

"But that minister isn't a priest." Brian missed out on Freddie's suggestive tone entirely. "Besides, I can't think of a single sin Jim might have committed. He's the kindest person I know." 

"Oh I can think of plenty." Freddie purred. "Last night he was particularly sinful. We probably need to be dosed in holy water."

"What could you have done that was that bad?" John snickered.

"Darling, that kind of stuff is not for your virgin ears. I don't kiss and tell...but let's just say Jim rammed his c--"

"--Is everyone out here waiting for me?" Jim approached us interrupting Freddie's detailed recount of what had happened last night. "You didn't have to. I was just taking care of something personal."

"Don't worry, darling. You need not confess your sins. Hell is much better. Look at the interesting people you're going to meet down there. I'm definitely going there." Freddie remarked earning gasps and scornful looks from all of us.

"Why would you ever say that, Freddie?" Deaky cried. "No one here is going to hell. Especially you, Freddie. You were made in heaven."

"Well, _you're _not going to hell, Deaky, but the rest of us certainly are." Freddie laughed.

"Then I'll just have to go down there and join you." John shook his head. "I hate this conversation. It's too morbid."

"I'm sorry, lovie. The only other thing I can talk about is not appropriate for you 'cause you're too pure. I really don't want you hearing about how Jim rammed his c--"

"--Freddie! Please, they don't need to know about what happened behind closed doors." Jim exclaimed. "At least make John cover his ears first."

"Damn it! I'm not a virgin!" Deaky shouted, but then he turned bright pink. Ronnie casted her eyes down at her feet trying to draw attention away from herself. "S-Sorry...that was uncalled for." John apologized. "I just...I'm sick of being the baby."

"But you_ are _my baby. You'll always be my baby." Freddie pinched his cheeks. "Love you, darling. You're my favorite brother."

"I'm literally standing right here." Brian said.

"Yeah, he's also a baby." I defended my man.

"Brimi, you're my mother, not my brother. You know that, darling. I may be older, but you always take care of me. You can be Roger's baby, but to me you're the mother hen, and Deaky's the baby."

"I can't be Roger's baby. Roger's my baby...Wait. Did I just say that out loud?" "MY BABY!" I squealed wrapping my arms around Brian. Was I teasing? Only partly.

"You're all babies. Does that satisfy everyone?" Ronnie exclaimed. "Now let's stop talking about babies please. I swear if someone says the word 'baby' again, I'm gonna throw up...Actually I think I'm gonna throw up anyway." She ran off to the bathroom.

"Poor thing has been having stomach trouble all day long." John sighed. "I hope it's just wedding jitters and not something serious. I don't want her suffering from stomach flu on our honeymoon."

"Herbal tea does the trick." Freddie suggested. "Jim, darling, remember that special tea you made me when I had an upset stomach. Maybe you can make it for Ronnie. If she drinks it now, she'll feel better for tonight and tomorrow."

"We can go see if they carry the tea brand in a local supermarket." Jim said.

"To Publix!" Freddie declared. "Let's go!"

"What the hell is Publix?" I questioned.

"It's a Florida grocery store chain. According to Brian, Floridians claim it's a life changing experience. C'mon on, Jim!"

"I really need to get back to Europe." Brian sighed.

"Well you won't be homesick for much longer." Deaky assured him.

Brian and I were then left alone as Freddie and Jim went to go search for the tea and Deaky checked on Ronnie. I glanced around ensuring we're alone. "Jim and Freddie are getting engaged." I whispered unable to keep the secret any longer. "Jim was talking to the minister about Catholic same sex weddings."

"I know. Jim told me. He's gonna propose on his last day here. He's taking Freddie to the fair. He'll pop the question at the top of the ferris wheel." Brian said.

I gasped. "You knew? How could you not tell me?"

"We need to keep it a surprise for Freddie." He reasoned. "Don't go blabbing, alright?"

So now I had two secrets I had to keep: the concert on Brian's birthday, and Jim's proposal. I wasn't sure how long I'd last, but I made it a priority not to spill.

***

"Now what did we agree to?" Brian asked as we walked into the dining room.

"One drink each don't get drunk." I stated.

"Good. We can get drunk tomorrow night at the wedding party, but let's stay sober tonight."

I frowned when I saw everyone reaching for cards with their name and a number. I wouldn't be able to read mine and figure out which table I was assigned to. Brian grabbed 2 cards. "Oh!" He gasped. "Yours is in Braille. I feel the bumps underneath your name."

I took the card from him. "Roger Taylor Table 39." I read.

Freddie hovered. "Can you read that okay, darling? I had to trust the card maker didn't cheat me since I don't know Braille."

"You had this card made specifically for me? Freddie, that's so thoughtful!"

"Of course, Roger. We'd all feel horrible if you were left out in any way. You're seated at the best table in my humble opinion. You'll be with the bride and groom, the maid of honor, Brian, and of course me and Jim. Right this way, my darlings."  
  
"PARTY AT TABLE 39!!!" I screamed excitedly. "Ow!" Brian cringed. "Right in my ear. Why am I not used to this by now?" 

"And you're not even drunk yet." Freddie laughed. "This is going to be a great night! The only thing that could make it any better is a cat." 

I took my seat and greeted everyone. Ronnie seemed to be doing all right. Maybe that tea did work for her after all. 

"We can get started." Deaky said. "Everyone's here. We were just informed that Karen can't make it because she got sick from something she ate. I think there's a stomach bug going around."

"I'm sure Auntie will spend her night complaining to a manager about it over the phone." Ronnie said. "Should we start with the speeches?" 

Thank goodness it wasn't my speech tonight. I still wasn't ready and was doubting myself. Freddie was ready. As host of the event it was customary for him and the parents of the bride and groom to deliver a toast at the rehearsal dinner. 

"Hello all you beautiful people. I think everyone here knows who I am, but for that one bridesmaid in the back who doesn't, I'm Freddie, John's oldest brother. Now I'd like to say a few words. What can I say about my sacred little creampuff and his bride to be? They deserve the very best and so much more. When I was younger, I was very possessive of my Deaky. In my mind, he needed to be protected at all costs, and I didn't want to trust such a precious smol bean with someone else. I even threw a temper tantrum when our father Miami tried to adopt him because I didn't want anyone to take him away from me. Things didn't really change after we got adopted. John will call me neurotic, but I made sure he knew how much I loved him and I took care of him above all else always. When I went off to college to study art, I called home each and every night just to make sure Brian, Miami, and the cats weren't going mad without me, but I needed to hear from Deaky before going to bed or else I wouldn't be able to sleep. No matter how far I traveled, we remained close. Then I came home from my tour with the royal ballet one summer only to find my sweet creampuff holding hands with a woman. The two were soulmates and Deaky was so happy to tell me that he could see in color at last. When I saw the little sparkle in John eyes when he looked at Veronica, I knew I would have to learn to share him. Ronnie is a special girl to earn that look of love from my baby. So I wish you both a life full of happiness and lots of hot sex. Deaky, darling, I expect you to call me from your honeymoon and give me updates. Cheers to John and Veronica!" 

"That was...strangely beautiful." John said as he took a sip from his glass. 

How the hell was I going to top that in my best man speech tomorrow? There was no way. I might as well ask Freddie to speak again instead of me. Focused on my sobriety promise with Brian, I only took the smallest gulp of wine even though I could use more. Of course it was moot because after all the speeches were finished, I was already on my second glass. It wasn't my fault. They forced me to keep toasting. 

"Ronnie, you're not drinking." Deaky noted. 

"Oh? No. I am. You just didn't see. Excuse me. I need the loo again." 

"I hope her tummy isn't troubling her again." Deaky sighed. "Of all the times to get sick, why does it have to be now?"

"Chin up, darling. The rain is slowing down and you're getting married tomorrow. We'll give Ronnie some more tea and I'm sure she'll be good as new for the wedding!" Freddie said optimistically. 

"I blame Karen. She must be spreading the stomach flu like expired coupons." I said taking another drink. All this drinking actually made me need the loo as well. I got up. "I'll be right back!" I announced. 

I walked around in a circle before realizing that I was traveling on my own with no cane and no guide dog. No wonder I was having trouble finding where I was going. It didn't seem like there was a restroom in the dining room so I'd have to go back out to the hotel lobby. Directing signs of course were worthless to me as I couldn't read them, so I stopped by the front desk to ask for help. "Excuse me, where's the loo?" The woman stared back at me blankly. Shit! America. "Bathroom. Where's the bathroom?" 

"Oh. Just make a left and it'll be the first door you see." She instructed. 

"Thank you."

"No problem, honey." 

I smiled to myself. I was maneuvering through this new world all on my own. It felt good to finally have some independence even if it was something as dumb as finding the bathroom without a guide dog. I followed the woman's directions and sure enough I reached my destination. Strangely enough there weren't any urinals, so I used a stall, ignoring the sound of someone throwing up in the corner stall. 

We both left our stalls at the same time. Oh shit! It was Ronnie. "Roger? What are you doing in the ladies' room?" 

"T-The woman at the desk told me to make a left and use the first door I saw." I tried to explain my mistake. 

"Yeah and the men's room is to the right. I think she thought you were a girl." Ronnie realized. 

"Fuck! Not again!" Why did that happen to me so much? 

"No harm done." She was surprisingly understanding. "Can you do me a favor and not tell anyone I was throwing up?"

"Why?" I asked. "Veronica, if you're sick people should know. We just want you to feel better. I know Joe catered, but I'm sure you can eat crackers or something to settle your stomach."

"I'm pregnant." She blurted. 

I was not expecting that. The pregnancy test that Karen found must have belonged to Ronnie. "So John really isn't a virgin, then?" 

"Really, Roger? That's the first thing that comes to your mind! Men! I swear all you ever think about is sex." 

"Does Deaky know?"

"No, I'm going to tell him and everyone after the wedding. Oh, why didn't I stay on the pill? I figured it was fine after we got engaged, but I wasn't thinking. My grandparents are going to kill me if they find out I'm pregnant at my wedding. Roger, you can't tell anybody. I wanna make it seem like it happened during the honeymoon. That way no one will judge me."

"Why would they judge you? John's the one who got you pregnant. And who cares if it happened before you were married? I think you'll both make perfect parents." 

"You really think so?" Ronnie sighed. 

"Deaky is so patient, and you rarely ever raise your voice and both of you have so much compassion and love in your hearts. Trust me, if you can deal with me, then you'll have no trouble raising a kid." I assured her. "And you'll have a big support system. You've got me and Bri to babysit, and Freddie and Jim will fuss over the little one nonstop." 

"Thanks, Rog. You're a really good friend." She gave me a hug. "I ought to make you the baby's godfather." 

"I don't know about that. Babies are cute and I'm so excited to actually see yours, but I don't know the first thing about caring for one. My parents never let me help out when Clare was born. I can barely look after myself." 

"I just wish you didn't have to see me getting fat." Ronnie laughed. "John and I are both the youngest sibling in our families, so we don't have much experience either. We'll all have to learn what we're doing in the process. So will you keep my secret until after the wedding?"

"If that's what you want, I'll do it." I promised. 

With three secrets to keep, I might as well refrain from speaking for the time being. Hopefully, I wouldn't mess up because I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I ever betrayed my friends' trust.


	12. Under Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding is finally here!

_Roger's POV_

I was kept awake by a lot of things. The persistent storm outside, the sound of Freddie and Jim having sex in the room next door, but most of all nerves. I was unprepared for my best man speech. In a matter of hours I'd be delivering an unwritten toast. What was I going to do? I had no clue what to say. Tossing and turning, I closed my eyes, but returning to that familiar darkness only made me more restless.

My eyes popped back open as I accepted a sleepless night. The only number I could recognize on the alarm clock was 3 because I had to keep pressing that button on the lift to get to our room on the third floor. I guess I'm learning. It was sometime after 3am.

"Jim, you're so fucking big!" Freddie's muffled voice exclaimed.

I banged against the wall trying to get them to shut up already. How could Brian sleep through all this?I must have really tired him out with all of our own activities earlier in the night. At least we had the decency to cut it off after midnight (Bri's idea; I could've gone longer). Either way both our rooms would be getting more noise complaint calls later.

"Roger." I sat up in response to Brian calling out my name. "Well it's about time you woke u**—**" I covered my mouth when I saw his hazel eyes were hidden behind softly shut lids. Brian was still asleep. In addition to world's most caring boyfriend I'd give him an award for world's heaviest sleeper.

"Roger." He slurred again in his sleep. Aww. He was dreaming about me. How sweet. "And here I thought your dreams were full of badgers." I laughed softly so I wouldn't wake him. "I dream about you too, Bri." I whispered in his ear. "When I manage to get to sleep that is."

"Pretty Rog." He snored. "My pretty, pretty Roggie."

I rolled my eyes and snuggled next to him with a yawn. "Pretty Bri." I shut my eyes and tried my hardest to fall asleep. "My pretty, pretty Brimi."

***

The world was visible when I opened my eyes. It had been a week since I got my sight back. Why wasn't I used to this? Would there ever be a day when I wasn't afraid to open my eyes first thing in the morning? A pair of well rested hazel eyes smiled down at me. I remembered cuddling before falling asleep, but somehow I found my body sprawled across Brian's chest. Huh. Oh well. This was comfortable and he didn't seem to mind me using his body like a mattress and pillow.

"Big day today." Brian announced.

Shit! Today was Roger Taylor Fucks up a Wedding Day. "I don't have a speech." I blurted. "Deaky's gonna kill me. What am I going to do? Oh Bri, I have such cold feet. I'm not meant to be best man. You do it. You're his brother."

"You shouldn't get cold feet. You're not the one getting married yet. John asked you. You're his best friend. You'll do fine. Just talk about how you were there when Deaky and Ronnie met for the first time. That story should be enough. It's romantic and perfect for the occasion." Brian kissed my head. "You can do no wrong."

"I'm sorry. Have we met?" I said sarcastically. "There are many, many things I do wrong."

"You mean well. That's the important thing. Just speak from the heart and don't blow the big secret."

"How do you know that Ronnie is pregnant?" I blurted.

"Ronnie's pregnant?" Brian cried.

Fuck! He must have been referring to the Freddie and Jim engagement. "Um...no....She's just....carrying John's baby." Do no wrong my ass! I already messed up and it wasn't even noon.

"Oh my God! I'm gonna be an uncle! Baby Deaky has a baby of his own on the way. Oh this is such great news! How far along is she?" Brian exclaimed.

"Nobody knows except me. It's not proper for a bride to be pregnant or some bullshit. I don't know. I think it's fine since it's her groom who knocked her up, but Ronnie said I wasn't allowed to tell anyone, not even John. She's gonna wait until after the wedding. I've gotta honor that, and now you do too." I explained.

"Well then why did you tell me?" Brian frowned. "I should hear it from Ronnie herself."

"I didn't mean to tell you. I'm just really bad at keeping secrets. I mean it's a miracle I haven't spoiled Jim's proposal plans or the concer--You know what I'm just gonna stop talking right now. No more words until my best man speech which is going to be a disaster anyway."

"Here. I'll help you, love." He fetched his laptop. "I'll print out some best man speech guidelines and see if I can get them translated to Braille for you. How does that sound? Will that settle your nerves?"

I was always told Google was life changing. The most common question I got from people was: 'If you're blind, how can you use the internet?' Answer: I don't. The temptation of getting connected on the worldwide web certainly inspired me to learn how to read so I could start using it. The words that appeared on the screen in front of me meant nothing.

"It's a basic outline. Should help." Brian explained. "Introduce yourself. Congratulate the bride and groom. Talk about the groom. Talk about the bride. Tell a joke. Conclude. Open for a lot of improvising, but I think this should do the trick. I'll go downstairs have it printed and see if the concierge can get it translated to Braille. Maybe they have a Braille printer. That would be great."

I nodded. "How about you do that while I take Ringo out for his morning walk and we meet back up here to get ready for the wedding."

"Sounds like a plan."

He kissed me. I couldn't start my day out without a good morning kiss from my soulmate. Where would I be without Brian? Still in the dark. I shook the morbid thought from my mind and went to get ready.

_Brian's POV_

Of course I had to wait in line behind Karen who was pestering the poor concierge demanding to speak to a manager. This was going to take a while... I plugged in my headphones and blasted the Jimi Hendrix Experience over Karen's screaming. Much better.

Someone tapping my shoulder made me lower the volume. Freddie obnoxiously yanked the headphones out of my ears to get my full attention. "Brimi, what the hell are you doing here? Go get ready! Everyone needs to look their best. Groomsmen pictures are in approximately 3 hours in Ballroom C. I swear if you're late or if anything goes wrong I will--"

"--You're the one always late, Fred." I pointed out.

"Where's Roger?" He asked.

"Walking the dog." I replied.

"All by himself? What if he gets lost? Poor thing! How could you let him go out there on his own?" Freddie cried.

"Ringo's trained for that kind of thing. That's the point of having a seeing eye dog. And Roger wants his independence. Especially now that he can see he should be able to do basic things like walk his dog. You need to stop stressing, Freddie. Everything's alright. It even stopped raining. Look there's a rainbow!" I pointed to the beautiful sight out the window. I could only imagine Roger's reaction to that vibrant burst of colorful light in the sky. Hopefully he was looking up.

"...And another thing, those chocolates on the pillow were not gluten free."

"Oh I don't have time for this." Freddie literally picked Karen up beneath the armpits and yeeted her across the lobby. She landed face first in the trashcan.

I wasn't sure if I should applaud or reprimand my brother for his antics.

"I need something blue!" Freddie shouted at the frazzled concierge.

"Goodness, you're the famous Mr. Mercury. You're here for the wedding. H-How can I help?

"My creampuff is getting married today and I need something blue!"Freddie grew more frantic.

"I-I don't see in color yet...I'm sorry. Please don't call the manager." After dealing with Karen and now Freddie, the girl started to sob.

"Freddie!" I scolded. "You made the poor girl cry. You need to calm down."

"You're right. I'm terribly sorry, darling. Forgive me. I'm afraid I'm under pressure today."

"But you needn't be under pressure. It's a happy day." I reminded him.

"Yes, yes. I just need to find something blue for good luck. We already have something old, new, and borrowed. Let me know if you find anything blue." Freddie paused before running off like the slightly mad man he was. "Sorry again, darling." He told the receptionist. "Watch out for Roger. He's about this tall with long blonde hair and has the smile of an angel and you'll know it's him because he's usually screaming. When he's around, people seem to find their soulmates. Find Roger and you'll be seeing in color before you know it!"

"Deep breaths, Freddie! Everything is going to work out." I called after him.

"SOMETHING BLUE!" He screamed as he ran across the lobby.

"What a crazy day!" The concierge exclaimed. "Hi, how can I help you?"

"Hello. I was wondering if you happened to have a Braille printer?" I said as politely as I could. She clearly wasn't having the best day.

"Oh!" She gasped. "Good for you! You seem so well adjusted I never would have guessed that you were the one." Suddenly the woman's tone completely changed. She spoke very slowly as if I were an impatient child. "I really hope you've been enjoying your stay with us. We promised Mr. Mercury we'd be very accommodating to all of your needs. Now just give me one moment to call my friend Ed. Ed is our technological supervisor. That means he deals with technology such as printers. Okay? So stay quiet while I ring him up. He'll be here to help you shortly, Mr. Taylor."

Ahh. Now I understood her sudden change in demeanor. She assumed the Braille was for me and I was Roger who management knew only as "the blind guest". I thought Roger was exaggerating when he told me stories of people treating him condescendingly assuming he wasn't very bright just because he couldn't see. The sad thing was this woman didn't seem to have any ill intentions. I'm sure she didn't want to come across as cruel and was only trying to help.

The same went with Freddie fussing over Roger taking Ringo for a walk. Roger loathed all that special attention and didn't want to be any different from anyone else. I could be very over protective of those I love, but knowing that Roger didn't want to be coddled I was attempting some restraint in this relationship. I was smitten and Roger seemed happy, so my approach must be working out.

"Alright Mr. Taylor." The receptionist took me out of my thoughts. "Ed will be right down. In fact that is him stepping off the elevator. Um...I think that's 10 o'clock."

"Sorry, I'm not blind. You don't have to do that. I should've told you, I'm not Roger. I'm getting this printed for him." Before she could respond to my admission, Ed approached me.

"Hello my name is Ed. I will fix printing problem. Tell me what it is you need, my curly sir."

"Um." I ignored the curly comment. "I just need this document in Braille if that's possible." I showed him the page on my laptop. "Do you have a Braille printer by any chance?"

"Yes, yes, I can do that. Email it to me and then I can print it from the hotel computer connected to all of the printers. When do you want it?"

"As soon as possible. My husband needs it by tonight at the latest. He has to deliver a speech and he's a nervous wreck about it. I think having an outline like this will help him calm down." Both Roger and Freddie were going to give me a panic attack. We all just needed some meditation. This shouldn't be a stressful day. It was a celebration of John and Veronica's love for each other. And of course that love was bringing a new life into this world. That was exciting news, but I had to keep it to myself for now. It wasn't right for me to know about Deaky's unborn child before Deaky himself, but this was situation I found myself in regardless.

"What's your email?" I asked Ed so I could send him the document to be printed in Braille.

"EdIsDaBestBeastBomb@fakemail.net. I'll have the document ready for you and your husband in an hour or less or else I owe you pizza. Hotel policy. And before you threaten to call my manager, the pizza can be gluten free upon request. Gotta go. Ed away!" He jumped back into the elevator abruptly.

"So is Mr. Mercury's blind friend really good luck when it comes to finding your soulmate?" The concierge asked brushing aside Ed's bizarre behavior.

"He's my good luck charm and I found him." I smiled to myself.

"Oh! He's your husband isn't he? You must be Dr. May. I'm a big fan of your work. I've read your books."

"Really?" I gasped. No one bothered to read my books except for Professor Smith apparently.

"No I'm sorry. I lied. Mr. Mercury told the staff here that if we ever run into you, we should tell you that we've read your books. I know they're about space or something but that's about it. Honestly I'm more interested in your relationship with Mr. Taylor. What's it like having a blind husband?"

"Actually Roger isn't my husband yet and he's not blind anymore." I explained.

"Hold that thought." She paused to answer the phone. "...Oh yes the trash needs to be taken out in the lobby. I'm aware that it's overflowing with garbage. Someone is already taking care of that now. Thank you for your concern." I assumed she was referring to the trash can Karen was currently stuck in, but I didn't say anything.

My attention was stolen by the stunning man who walked through the revolving doors of the lobby with his trusted guide dog by his side. "Did you see that, Ringo?" Roger was grinning from ear to ear, and if looks could kill I'd be all dead and gone by now. "I made it through the spinny doors without tripping or bumping into the glass!"

I of course was just as enthusiastic as Roger when it came to his accomplishments both big and small. However, before I could applaud him I noticed he was standing directly in front of the door and a woman was making her way inside with cumbersome luggage. If he didn't move they would collide. Ringo nudged Roger's leg alerting him of the danger, but it was too late. The incoming guest knocked into Roger and the two fell to the ground.

I rushed to Roger's side and grabbed Ringo's leash so he wouldn't run away as the receptionist abandoned her post to help the other woman.

"Are you okay, Roggie?" I checked him for any major bruises, but he seemed intact. So I just hugged him. "I've taken worse falls than that before, but the hug is appreciated. Thanks, Brimi."

"Are you alright, ma'am?" The concierge helped the fallen woman to her feet. "That looked like a bad fall. I don't know where the doorman was. I think he's off for lunch. The bellman can assist you with your luggage and—My goodness your bag is blue!"

"Freddie was looking for something blue." I stated mindlessly. Then it clicked that the two were soulmates. Maybe Roger really was a good luck charm when it came to soulmates. If that was the case then I had all the luck in the world. Of all the people on the planet, this beautiful ray of hope and sunshine was mine. When I got the nerve to finally propose properly and assuming Roger said yes, I would consider myself the luckiest man out there.

***

_Roger's POV_

"Looking sharp, Deaky!" I complimented the groom.

"Nervous as hell." He admitted. "But thanks."

"You and me both, but you don't have to do anything except say I do and kiss Ronnie. Much easier on your end. No speeches necessary." I assured him.

"V-Vows." Deaky murmured fidgeting with his bow tie anxiously.

"Of course Freddie's the one late." Brian remarked.

"He's helping the bride get ready. Spent all morning running around in search of something blue." Jim explained.

As if on cue, Freddie dramatically entered the room because when you're Freddie Mercury you can't not enter dramatically. "Oh darlings, you won't believe the chaos I've been through. I had to bribe Karen with coupons so she wouldn't charge me for assault. Miami said he'd take care of it for me. Bless him. Then I had to travel all through South Florida in search of something blue for Ronnie. Finally I came across thisjeweler who sold me a sapphire barrette. Sparkly blue just like Roger's eyes. He said it was cut from the same gem in a ring he sold to a rockstar...or a man he described as a rockstar. Tall with poofy poodle hair. You wouldn't know anything about that would you, Brian?"

Okay we were basically engaged. The ring was real. Freddie all but confirmed it winking at Brian.

"I haven't a clue what you're talking about." Brian replied smoothly. It was only a matter of when he'd ask me...

"So to sum up: Ronnie's veil is old, it was passed down from her Grandma Nora, her shoes are new, I let her borrow my Mama's pearls, and the sapphire in her hair is something blue. Thank goodness I got to the bottom of that! Are you good, Deaky, darling? Of course you're good. You're always good. I know you have all of your ducks in a row. But just to be sure. Is that bow tie something old? Are your socks new? And—"

"—Freddie, that's just for the bride." Deaky sighed. "But yes. Miami's brooch is borrowed and I'm wearing blue underwear. I um thought it would be a good idea to have all that stuff just in case. Apparently you wanted me to do it too."

"Great minds think alike, darling. What a responsible baby boy I've raised. And now you're all grown up and getting married. Shit! I'm going to cry and I just did my makeup."

"Don't cry, Freddie. We need to have all of our pictures taken before the wedding." I said.

"I know that. I hired the bloody photographer. Greatest photographer in all of the United States and possibly Europe. She has yet to make her debut overseas, but if these pictures turn out as perfect as I think they will I'll hire her for my wedding."

I gasped. "Jim proposed already? I thought he was going to do it at the fai—" Brian elbowed me.

"I'll do it when the time is right, love." Jim dismissed. "But right now it's John's big moment. Let's not overshadow that."

The photographer returned. "Is everyone here? Good. Now let's take some killer pictures!"

She took a whole bunch of snapshots of us standing together. "Smile boys, you look stunning!" _Click click. _I was not expecting the bright flashing light from the camera.

"Keep up that cute smile, blondie! Have you considered modeling? You really have the looks for it. No offense to the rest of you!" _Click, click! _"That's it! You're a natural, blondie!"

Blondie? Oh wait she was talking to me! I stared right at the camera, playing up my smile, almost flirtatiously. "Roger, darling, that's not fair. You're making the rest of us look bad." Freddie said through his smile.

"Okay, let me just get some pics of the groom on his own. Blondie and company, you're off duty for now." As the photographer ushered us away, she slipped her business card into my hand. "Give us a call. We're looking for a new model. No experience required. You just need to be pretty."

I ran my fingers over the card hesitantly. Of course it wasn't in Braille. Modeling could be fun, but it wouldn't work out. "I live in London."

"Wonderful. We're starting to make it big overseas. We're opening a new location just outside of London. Call us and we'll give you more details. You'll need to audition, but once the other photographers see you, you'll get the job for sure."

Did I just get a job offer? Me? Was having good looks a skill? I guess it was. "Um. Thanks. I'll consider it."

"Roger, you're going to be a star!" Freddie crooned. "I can see it now! Your face will be on every magazine."

"Um, it looks like she wrote her personal phone number on the back of the card with a heart next to it." Brian noted. "I think Roger has more to offer the world than just his pretty face...Which is a very pretty face by the way."

"I don't know. This could be something I'm good at." I mused. A real career that I could rely on. "Finally!"

Brian frowned. "What about dental school?"

"And you're an amazing drummer too, darling." Freddie insisted. "Don't forget about that. Plus, you really hit those high notes. Your singing voice is nothing to laugh at. You have many, many skills, my dear. Beauty just happens to be one of them. Whatever you want to do, we'll support you."

I pocketed the business card. It was certainly an offer to be considered. Although she was focused on Deaky, the photographer still winked at me. "Oh, look out the window. The rainbow is still outside." Brian stepped toward the window blocking her view of me. Was that purposeful? No, Brian was so sweet. He wouldn't want me to miss out on any opportunity even if it meant a bit of a harmless flirting.

"What are you talking about, Brimi? I don't see a rainbow." Freddie asked. "Nor do I." Jim chimed in.

"My mistake. I think it was an illusion." Brian still didn't move. His body was blocking me from the photographer. I was about to speak up, but my phone rang. It was probably Clare. I still hadn't told her I could see. Any more secrets and I might burst, but it would be nice to surprise her somehow.

"Hello."

"Roger, I don't know what you did, but you need to apologize to your father." My mother instructed. Not the call I was expecting. I groaned.

"Me? Apologize? He hates me, Mom. I haven't done anything wrong. It's not my fault. I don't want anything to do with him anymore. I don't even want his money. And frankly, you don't have to put up with his shit either. Why are you still with him? He's not your soulmate. Why do you always go along with him? I know you're aware that he treats me and Clare like crap and it's not like he's so nice to you either, but you just stand by and allow it." Wow! I was not expecting that rant to come flooding out of my mouth, but it needed to be said. I regretted nothing.

"He treats us well, Roger. He always has. My parents kicked me out of the house when I was pregnant with you. They disowned me for getting knocked up in high school. I had nowhere to go and no one to look after me. Michael was there for me when I was all alone. He provides for us and stands by us no matter what. When you were ill I was scared he'd walk out on us, and then when the doctors said you'd never see again I thought this was the end. But Michael promised to stay. You must have done something really bad this time to get him to turn his back on you like this. I don't know what the hell has gotten into you lately. Suddenly you're running off to a different continent and Clare says you have a boyfriend now. Does Ryan or whatever his name is know how to care for you properly? You know you can't fend for yourself very well. Why don't you come home, son. We'll take care of you. I never wanted you to move out to begin with, baby. You belong at home with us. We'll make sure you get everything you need from food to companionship. That silly job at the library is too much of a burden for you. You won't have to raise a finger ever again if you come home. You can stay inside and read Braille books all day long. Doesn't that sound nice? Just apologize and come home. All this stuff with your father will be water under the bridge."

"Goodbye Winifred. You're no better than him. I'm done with both of you. Don't call me again unless you're divorcing him. I hope you see the light soon." I hung up. I had to do that, but cutting ties with her hurt more than I expected. There were no excuses though. Mom could have gotten me and Clare out of there a long time ago, but she was completed blinded by Michael.

"What happened, Roger?" Brian put his arm around me.

"I-I'm...no longer speaking to Mom either. Or at least until she sees the error of her ways. I'm willing to forgive her some day, but I can never forgive Michael."

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. This must be very difficult." Brian empathized. "One day she'll choose you over him and she'll ask for your and Clare's forgiveness. It's only a matter of time. But I'll always be here for you no matter what. Okay? I love you."

"I love you too." I sniffled. "Always."

"They don't deserve you, Roggie." Freddie said. "You're doing the right thing. Bystanders are just as bad as abusers in these types of situations, but Brian's right. It's very difficult. What can I do to help? Do you want a makeover? A special song? A kitten? A party thrown in your honor? Whatever I can do to make you feel better just let me know and I'll get it done."

"Let's just celebrate Deaky and Ronnie. Their kid will be blessed with two very loving parents. So tonight is about them." I hardly realized I let the secret slip, but thankfully everyone in the room interpreted my comment as meaning a future child.

"Oh yes my future baby creampuffs are going to be so fucking cute." Freddie squealed. "I can hardly wait! Deaky, I hope you get down and make love all day long on your honeymoon. Don't you misfire because I want to meet your litter of kittens." 

"Freddie, we're gonna have human babies." Deaky pointed out.

"Yes but they'll be just as adorable as cat babies. Jim and I will visit them every day and babysit them every night. And we'll spoil them with lots of presents." Freddie fantasized.

"We'll help out of course, but at the end of the day, they're your children, John. Don't you worry. If we babysit them, you'll get them back at the end of the night." Jim assured him.

"Well we don't have to worry about any of that for a while." Deaky said. "For now it's just me and Ronnie."

Brian excused himself, and I knew it was because he was tempted to reveal the secret. I made a conscious effort to keep my mouth shut.

***

I held Brian's hand throughout the entire ceremony. Freddie stood to my left, bawling his eyes out as Veronica walked down the aisle and her father gave her away. Her flowing white dress was absolutely beautiful and I couldn't help but notice the shiny sapphire in her hair that Freddie made a fuss about.

"She's gorgeous." Deaky exhaled.

"I'm so happy for you, darling." Freddie sobbed. "I love you both so much."

As the rings were presented, the minister announced that John and Veronica wrote their own vows that they wished to share.

"John," Ronnie quivered, "sorry, bit nervous." She laughed away the voice crack and continued. "I knew you were the one when I caught your shy gazes in the library. When I heard you introduce yourself in your sweet voice as John Richard Deacon born on August 19th, I realized that this cutiepie would be a part of my life forever. Fast forward about 5 years and now we're here. John, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be and I can't wait to be your wife and share a lifetime with you."

"Veronica," John spoke next, "what can I say about you? You're my soulmate and my best friend. You're the cheese to my toast. You complete me and make me feel so special. I look forward to waking up to your smiling face each and every morning and growing old together. I really love you."

"Veronica, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"And John, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"Yes sir...I mean I do."

"Awwww! What a bean!" Freddie cooed.

The minister cleared his throat. "I now pronounce you man and wife! You may kiss the bride!"

The newlyweds kissed and everyone cheered. Then Ronnie whispered something in Deaky's ear. Whatever she said made him proudly grin so wide the cute gap between his teeth on full display. John kissed her again. "I love you so much!" He proclaimed going in for yet another kiss before they finally walked back down the aisle again.

"Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Deacon!" The minister proclaimed. I screamed while everyone else clapped. "They did it!" I exclaimed. "They're married!"

"Isn't it wonderful? I'm so happy for them." Brian applauded.

"My creampuff tied the knot." Freddie wiped his tears. "I'm so proud of him! Now let's party! It's time for cocktails."

"Remember, Freddie, not too much. We're singing for them later." Brian advised.

"I perform better when drunk. Everyone knows that, darling." Freddie said as he made his way over to the bar. "Roger, can I get you anything from the bar? Some wine? Maybe a rum and coke? Jim, dear, I'll get you a whiskey."

"Thanks, love." Jim gave Freddie a quick kiss.

"I do like coke. I'm sure a little bit of rum won't kill me." I figured. "Let's give that one a go."

"Roger, you have to give your best man speech. You can drink after that." Brian said. "Where the hell is Ed?"

"Who's Ed?" I asked.

"The man who was supposed to print that outline to Braille. Think you can do it without the cheat sheet? I don't know where Ed is. He said he would get it to you in less than an hour or he owed us a pizza."

A man walked up to us extending a plate full of chicken bites. "Are you Ed?" I asked. "No. My name is Angelo. Would you like some chicken on a stick?"

"Yum! Yes please!" I took one off the plate. "You don't know what the hell you're missing out on, Bri." I said taking a bite of the snack.

He shrugged and took a vegan stuffed mushroom from another staff member's plate instead. "These are better. No cruelty involved. Try one, Rog. They're really good."

"I'll stick with my chicken thanks."

"Here we are." Freddie returned from the bar. "Moët & Chandon for me. Whiskey and a kiss for my precious Jim. Rum and coke for Roger, and a vodka for Brian."

"Why vodka?" Brian asked.

"Don't ask, just drink, darling. To our brother finding and marrying the love of his life!" He held up his glass in a toast. I didn't really taste the rum in my rum and coke so I slurped the whole thing down like a normal glass of coke.

I was skeptical when a man approached us without a plate full of treats. Instead he was holding a piece of paper. "We meet again, my curly sir." The stranger addressed Brian. "Where's your husband?"

Brian coughed on his drink. "That is strong! Um...Hi Ed. My name is not curly sir, it's Brian, thank you very much. And--"

"--I'm his husband!" I raised my hand. Maybe there was rum in my drink after all.

"Damn right." Freddie smirked.

"Here is your document translated to Portuguese as requested." Ed extended me the paper. I ran my fingers across it. "It's not in Braille."

"Yeah. It should be. I said Braille, not Portuguese." Brian said.

"Ooooooh. You said Braille. I thought you said Brazil. I am so sorry, my curly sir. I have failed you and your sexy husband. A pizza will be sent to your room for compensation. Ed away!" He dashed off disappearing into the crowd.

"What the fuck just happened?" Freddie blurted.

"I have to deliver my best man speech and I don't have a best man speech written." I stated. "I'm so fucked."

"Just speak from the heart." Freddie advised. "And don't screw up because it's for Deaky and it has to be absolutely perfect. No pressure at all, lovie. You'll be fine."

Brian kissed me. "I know you'll do great, honey. Just improvise. It'll work out, you'll see."

"Yeah I'll _see_ that's for sure." I snickered. "I love seeing." I meandered over to another person with mini grilled cheeses on her tray. "Oh my god this is greatest thing in the world!" I popped several into my mouth.

The bride and groom approached. Ronnie gave me a big hug and Deaky smiled. "Congrats!" I exclaimed.

"I requested this appetizer be served after Joe catered a taste test for us." Deaky said taking a grilled cheese for himself. "Aren't they so good?"

"Heavenly." Ronnie took even more grilled cheeses than me but I didn't say anything knowing she was eating for two. Besides they must wash down well with the champagne she was drinking. Wait a minute...

"Ronnie, no! Are you crazy? Why are you drinking?" I cried.

"I'm not. It's apple juice, but thank you for your concern. The baby and I appreciate you watching out for us. Now don't be so loud about it, alright?" She whispered.

Deaky put his hand on his new wife's stomach. "I'm so excited I want to scream it to the rooftops, but it's better to wait so people assume we didn't sin. But now I'll always remember, Veronica's first words to me as Mrs. Deacon were I'm pregnant."

"Is that what you told him at the altar?" I realized.

"Timed it perfectly so he couldn't back out." Ronnie laughed.

"I would never! That's my baby in there. I've gotta be there for you so we can raise him or her together."

"Shush, John! I'm only joking and I don't want anyone else knowing until after the honeymoon. So please both of you just keep your voices down."

"Darlings!" Freddie ran over to us. He squished John and Veronica into a group hug. "You look so lovely together. I couldn't be prouder."

"Thank you Freddie. You've really managed to plan the perfect wedding for us." Ronnie said.

"It would be perfect but I'm afraid Professor Smith had a bit too much to drink and is harassing some of his former students."

John shrugged. "It's still perfect. Thank you for everything, Freddie. I love you."

"Awwww." Freddie squealed. "I can't stand how cute you are, Deaks! And the night is still young so there's lots of more fun to come like your first dance, our performance, and of course Roger's speech."

I gulped. "Y-Yeah. Brian's speech is gonna be great."

"You mean _your_ speech, silly. I'm sure you'll knock it out of the park. I'm excited." John said.

"Here, Roger, I'll get you another drink." Freddie offered. "Why don't you go find Brian and we can get ready to sing! I can't do it without you two, you know."

"You probably could." Humble Freddie had the voice of an angel. I wonder what would have happened had he chose music over ballet...

I found Brian standing with Professor Smith and there was a look in my lover's eye that screamed "save me".

"...So you really don't eat meat? God, you're madder than I thought, May! It smells so good. How can you resist?" Smith dangled a piece of chicken in front of Brian's mouth. Son of a bitch!

"Hey!" I knocked the chicken off its stick and onto the floor. Professor Smith frowned and picked it up taking a bite without caring. "The only one allowed to shove something down Brian's throat is me. You got that?" I shouted. "Don't mock him for being vegan. Mock Karen for being obnoxious about her eating habits. Brian just want to help animals. Why would you try to stop him? Fuck off!"

"Awww," I smelled alcohol on his breath as he took another bite of chicken. "so you're the one Brian's been making googly eyes at all night. You're a lucky guy. Bri's a great man. My most successful student by far. Did you know he works for NASA? I take full credit for all of his accomplishments even though he couldn't get an A in my class."

Brian rolled his eyes. "Roger, I believe you've met Professor Smith already. Remember him from the other night? John thought it would be a good idea to invite him to the wedding."

"Where is John? I've got to congratulate the lad! You're my most successful student, Brian, but John is by far my favorite. Oh yes I do have favorites."

"Deaky is everyone's favorite." I said.

"Careful, Roger. He's a married man now. You can't go around saying those things. Besides, I think our curly haired friend here has a bit of a crush on you." Smith whispered loud enough for Brian to hear.

"No shit." I smiled up at Brian closing the gap between us.

Smith weaseled his way between us nearly smacking Brian's face in the process of splitting us apart. "You should snag him. Like I said very successful. PhD, NASA, published volumes and volumes of his research on the cosmos. Most brilliant man I know but still didn't get an A. What do you think, May? Am I good wingman or what!"

"Um we're already together."Brian stated.

"Yeah because of my impeccable wingman skills." The professor chuckled. "Haha! Ay-Oh!"

Before I could accuse Smith of also taking credit for Freddie's signature sound, the man himself rushed over to us as if he was responding to a battle cry. "AY-OH! You called, darling?"

"Ay-Oh summons him." Brian explained to a confused Professor Smith.

"I remember you from last night." Freddie remarked. "You're Brian and John's professor."

"Yes I am. You were the one who taught me how to LOL. It's a fun thing the kiddies are into these days. Every time I laugh now I say Ay-Oh afterwards. Hahaha! Ay-Oh!"

"Oh honey that's not how it works."Freddie shook his head. "But I suppose I can forgive you because we have so much in common. Brian, darling, did you know that Professor Smith has 3 cats? Also he loves Deaky and gave him an A."

"That's right. I have 3 kitties. Mittens, Misty, and J. Robert OppenheimerII. I was going to name him Fluffy, but he destroys things like the atomic bomb. Every Christmas John would get them presents. What a sweet boy! I believe you once tried to bribe me with a Starbucks gift card instead, Brian. I'm allergic to coffee."

"How was Brian supposed to know that?" I cried.

"He's smart enough to work for NASA so he should've figured it out."

"Didn't you hear the exciting news?" Freddie blurted. "Brian's not working for NASA anymore. He accepted a job with the British Space Program. He's moving back to London so he can be with Roger and save the badgers."

"WHAT? You can't do that! I tell all of my students and colleagues that my former student works for NASA and the NASA people all know him as the brilliant Professor Smith's student."

"Actually no one at NASA knows who you are." Brian said bluntly.

"You're giving up NASA for baggers and ass!"

"What and what?" Brian questioned.

"He means badgers and Roger." Freddie translated.

"Well yeah those are my two favorite things." Brian said.

Why did I find that unromantic comment heartwarming? "You're my favorite thing too, babe."

"Really?" Brian's smile killed me. It didn't matter that there was a passive aggressive professor prattling nonsense next to us. I just saw that smile. That smile was one of the first things I ever saw in my life and I'd die a happy man if it was the last thing I ever saw.

"...They're not listening to a word I'm saying. They're too busy gazing into each other's eyes." Professor Smith exclaimed.

"They're in love." Freddie sang.

"Overrated. I never met my soulmate and I turned out fine. Who needs color anyway?" Professor Smith scoffed. "As long as you can see. Seeing is seeing."

I used to say that all the time. That was before I knew it was possible to find the love of my life and see the world for the first time in every shade of the rainbow. When I was blind I was willing to give anything just to see something even if it wasn't in color. Now a world without color was one I didn't want to live in.

"Hazel." I murmured.

"Blue." Brian responded.

***

_"And now the brothers of the groom will perform a very special song he wrote for his beautiful bride."_

Freddie's hands were shaking as he took the microphone. He fumbled trying to take it off the stand to bring it to the piano but accidentally broke the stand itself. "Fuck!" His voice was caught on the mic. Brian cringed but I gave my friend a supportive thumbs up. "I mean fuck yeah! Who's ready Freddie to celebrate John and Veronica!" His visible nerves vanished with the flick of a wrist. It was like he became a completely different person. "Deaky wrote this song for his new wife and I have my wonderful brothers here to help me sing and perform it. Give it up for Brian and Roger everyone! Aren't they adorable! Now let's rock this place!" 

Brian struck the chords on his guitar and I hit my drums, focusing on the task instead of the crowd. 

_"Ooh, you make me live...." _We harmonized. Were they cheering for us? Yes, yes they were. The song went on and despite how corny it was I felt invigorated by the performance.

_You're my best friend!"_ Freddie concluded and I banged the final rhythm of the song on my drums as Brian played out the last chords. 

"That was fun." Brian beamed. I screamed in response over the roaring applause. What an adrenaline rush! 

"I LOVE YOU DEAKY AND RONNIE!" Freddie shouted and dove down from the stage in an attempt to crowd surf. Just eyeballing it, I could tell this wouldn't end well. 

"No, Freddie," Brian warned, "I don't think that's a good--"

Jim thankfully caught him before he could hit the ground. "I'm okay, darlings!" Freddie gave his boyfriend a big smooch. "My hero!" 

"That was beautiful, Freddie. Your voice is phenomenal." Jim flushed pink from the kiss as he put Freddie back down. Brian took my hand and guided me down the stairs. 

"Best wedding gift ever!" Deaky exclaimed. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" He hugged all three of us. "That was amazing!" 

"It was amazing because you were the one who wrote the song, darling." Freddie said. 

"I don't know how the band you hired is going to top that though." Ronnie laughed. 

"Well that's not our fault." I said. "We are the champions!"

_'And now ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats so the best man can deliver a toast. Entrees will be served shortly."_

"Already?" I harked. 

"It'll be alright, love. Good luck." Brian kissed me and walked me back up to the stage. Fuck! It was much more intimidating when I was up here alone. Now I understood what Freddie meant. I shut my eyes, hoping that would help. Surprisingly, it did. The familiarity of the darkness comforted me. I could do this. Just speak from the heart...

"So you'll notice I'm speaking with my eyes closed." I improvised. "Shit! I mean. Hi I'm Roger Taylor, best man, the guy drumming from earlier. Congrats to the bride and groom...Yeah. So you'll notice I'm speaking with my eyes closed. That's because I was blind. For most of my life I couldn't see anything, not even light. Then one day about five years ago, something changed. I met John Richard Deacon, my best friend. He didn't care that I was blind, he only wanted a roommate, preferably one with a sense of humor and compassion, and I was the perfect fit. I didn't think that day could get any better because out of the blue someone had shown me kindness and treated me like a normal human being despite my handicap. Then John confessed he had a small crush on the cute librarian, but was too timid to introduce himself to her. I told him to ask her to recommend a self help book on overcoming shyness. That gave him an excuse to talk to her. Veronica, the sweetest girl in the world, offered John a book. When the two touched, they discovered they were soulmates. I was blessed to be there in that special moment. I didn't realize it then, but that was the first time I saw something. You didn't need eyes to see that it was love in its purest form. Since that day, John and Veronica have nothing but the perfect couple, always supporting one another, and I don't think I've ever seen them fight. Both Ronnie and Deaky have been so gracious to me, and I'm glad to announce that I'm no longer blind to friendship thanks to them. John has welcomed me into his family into open arms and he doesn't seem to mind that I'm shagging his brother." I paused expecting a laugh with that one, but I was met with silence. I opened my eyes a crack and saw Brian face palming and Freddie smirking. "Um I just want to say that Deaky and Ronnie make a beautiful couple and when they're together, they make everyone feel right at home with them. They're practically meant to be parents, so when they welcome their new baby into the world I hope that--Fuck! I mean hypothetical new baby. Ronnie's not pregnant. Ignore what I just said. Cheers to the bride and groom!" 

I opened my eyes. Jaws were dropped and everyone was staring at Ronnie. Oh man! I really fucked up. I stepped off the stage sheepishly mouthing an apology

"Congratulations!" Miami broke the awkward silence. Then there were cheers. Ronnie's parents ran to hug her. Not at all what I was expecting. 

"Wait. No one's mad?" Ronnie gasped. 

"Is it true?" Her grandmother asked. 

"Yes, Grandma. I'm pregnant." She admitted. 

"YES!!! You go, girl! You're gonna be a great mom 'cause I raised your mom and your mom raised you." Grandma Nora squealed. 

"I'm so happy!" Ronnie's mom exclaimed. "I can't believe it! We're going to be grandparents!" Her father shouted. 

Her grandfather shook hands with Deaky. "You took my advice, son. You didn't misfire. Now I'm going to live to see my great grand babies. Great job!" 

"Um thank you sir." John said awkwardly. 

"Hang on." Freddie interjected, pushing past everyone to get to John and Veronica. "You mean to tell me there's a baby baby creampuff in there?" 

"Yes, Freddie. I'm not showing yet, but--"

Freddie knelt down and spoke directly to her stomach. "Hi baby baby creampuff, my name is Uncle Freddie and I'm going to be your favorite Uncle because I will spoil you like crazy. Your father is a baby creampuff and now I'm dubbing you baby baby creampuff so we don't get confused. I'm so excited to meet you, darling! I'm sure you'll be cute as a kitten if not cuter. Now don't give your mother much trouble in there. No kicking unless it's something important and don't use her bladder as a trampoline. Understand?" 

"It's gonna be a long nine months." Ronnie sighed. 

"NOW LET'S PARTY! WHO'S READY FREDDIE TO ROCK AND ROLL!" Freddie screamed. His enthusiasm was contrasted by a rendition of _When I'm 64_ by the Beatles that Deaky and Ronnie slow danced to. It was a strange song choice for their first dance, but somehow it fit them because they'd be growing old together and falling in love even more each and every day. 

"So we're doing _Your Song _for our wedding?" I drawled taking a sip of wine. This was a trap and I awaited Brian's answer eagerly. 

"I don't dance. You know that, Roger." He replied. 

"Yeah but we're still having a wedding aren't we?" I drank some more of the wine. 

"Yes, we are...right now. We're at a wedding." Brian winked. 

_"All the singles come to the dance floor. It's time for the bride to throw her bouquet." _

"I sure as hell hope Karen doesn't knock anyone down trying to catch it." I laughed. 

"Oh, Karen's not here." Brian said. "She's too down in the dumps to make it." 

"Too bad." I said sarcastically. 

Mary cheered when she caught the bouquet. "I did it! I'm going to get married next!" 

_"And now all the single men come to the dance floor. It's time for the groom to throw the garter." _

"That's not us." I announced. 

"Nope, not us. What a shame. We don't get to play the game." Brian pretended to be upset for being left out. 

"It wouldn't have been fair. Your height gives you an advantage if John throws it high in the air." I reasoned. 

"Freddie, what are you doing?" Jim cried as he joined the singles on the dance floor. He held up his hand. "Do you see a ring, darling? If I catch this, you have to propose because I'll be the next to get married." 

"Wouldn't you technically end up with Mary if that were the case?" Brian reasoned. "She caught the bouquet." 

"Shut up, Brimi. Don't try to ruin this with logic." Freddie had to jump into the air in order to catch the garter. "Ha! In your face Professor Smith! I'm getting married next. Mark my words soon I'll be Freddie Mercury Hutton."

"Hutton Mercury. It's alphabetical." Jim corrected. 

"Is that a proposal?" Freddie asked. 

"No. Believe me when I propose, you'll know." He kissed Freddie's cheek. "Just continue being patient, love." 

"Well in the meantime, let's dance!" Freddie grabbed Deaky's hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. "My brother and new groom and soon to be father, my pride and joy DISCO DEAKY, ladies and gentlemen! Everyone give him the love he deserves." 

"Whoa! I never knew John was such a good dancer." I remarked as he broke out his moves alongside Freddie. Honestly, it was difficult to tell who the professional was. 

"To be fair you've never _seen_ him dance before." Brian said. 

"Well now I'm going to _see_ you dance." I grinned dragging him against his will to the dance floor. Party on! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More story to come! It's not over yet, lovies. Hope you enjoyed! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!


	13. Seaside Rendezvous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Brian and Roger's last day in Florida, and they plan to make the most of it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just one more chapter and an epilogue to go, but fear not loyal readers for there is a sequel in the making. Rest assured the story will continue.
> 
> In the meantime I just want to say thank you to everyone who took time out of their busy lives to read this story and leave comments. I love each and every one of you!!!! I appreciate it more than you can ever imagine. Thank you for embracing my madness. ❤️❤️❤️

It was our last day in Florida, and Brian planned to make the most of it. I was excited despite waking up from a nightmare. Then I heard what Brian had on the agenda. "Famous pancake place for breakfast in the morning, beach all afternoon, and then we'll join Freddie and Jim at the fair tonight. Does that sound like a great day or what? I can't let you leave Florida without seeing the beach for the first time."

"Yeah." I faked a smile. "Sounds like fun." With everyone mistaking me for a girl lately I could always pretend to be on my period so I didn't have to go into the water. It would have been a brilliant plan except Brian knew very well that I wasn't female. Maybe I'd stuff my face with pancakes until I threw up and say I was too full to swim. They say swimming on a full stomach gives you cramps or something.

I pressed the red button that I knew turned on the TV to distract myself. I could become a real couch now that I could actually watch the telly. No audio enhancements required. I could see the face of the anchorman as he reported the story.

_"...And the woman was mistaken for trash and delivered to the dump. She thankfully does not have any serious injuries, but she is threatening to call many managers. This is Sheldon Fox reporting live from the Miami Dade Trash and Recycling Center. Back to you Belkys and Craig..."_

The screen shifted to a man and woman sitting behind a desk. The woman chuckled. _"I hope she's not too down in the dumps."_

_"Coming up next on Channel 7 news a local man broke into a gas station to steal a bottle of Pepsi, but it turns out he wasn't a man at all but was in fact an alligator wearing a trench coat and a pair of aviator sunglasses. More on this after the break..."_

"Ha! They say local man instead of Florida man. That's so funny!" I laughed.

"I can't wait to get out of Florida. It's so chaotic here. I can't believe I survived this long. I miss London." Brian turned off the telly. "Ready to go, Rog?"

"Um...Sure. Yeah. Let's go eat pancakes." _'And not drown in the ocean afterwards.' _I thought dismally.

*******

"So they make vegan pancakes?" I questioned.

"Yes. They use almond milk and an egg substitute. You really can't taste the difference." Brian replied.

"I'll take your word for it." I said skeptically as I sipped on my orange juice. "Do they call them oranges juice because they're orange?" I wondered aloud.

"The real question is, is the color named after the fruit or is the fruit named after the color?" He pondered. "Seeing in color is such a trip. Don't you think?"

"Seeing in general is a trip." I shut my eyes and opened them again. Nope, still not used to it. "I had a bad dream last night." I admitted. "You died and I went blind again."

"That sounds awful." Brian squeezed my hand from across the table reassuringly. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"I don't know. It seemed like a petty reason to wake you. Besides I like watching you sleep. That made me feel better." I left out the part where I overheard him talking in his sleep. _'Roger, my love...My love, Roggie.'_

"I've been sleeping well these past few nights for the first time in my life." Brian said almost with a knowing smile. "I usually have insomnia. I'll let you take credit for curing it. I haven't done anything different apart from sharing a bed with someone."

"Here's to never sleeping alone again." I toasted our orange juice glasses.

"Here you are boys, one vegan banana blueberry pancake and one double chocolate berry crunch pancake. Enjoy!" The waiter put down our food.

"Say what you want, but mine is better." I declared, devouring the sweet pancake. "Sooo good!" I moaned. "My God! Yes!"

"Rog! Stop that! People are staring." Brian reprimanded.

"Stop what?" I was just eating the pancakes.

"Making sex noises." He whispered.

The piece of pancake flopped from my fork. "S-Sex noises? What are you talking about?" Brian's blush was adorable. Maybe I was getting carried away but these pancakes were really that good. Perhaps it was time to start praising them more consciously...

"I'm just eating my pancakes. I don't know what you're talking about." I said innocently. I took another bite this time purposefully fluttering my eyelashes and leaning back my head and moaning in pleasure.

"Roger Meddows Taylor, you will be the death of me!" Brian cried.

I choked on the pancake, thinking back to my nightmare. Suddenly this wasn't sexy anymore. "No, Bri! If you die, I'll go blind again. You can't leave me. Please don't die on me."

"What?" The look on his face shifted from arousal to concern in a matter of seconds. "Oh, no honey. I'm not going anywhere. It's just a figure of speech. That dream must have really scared you."

I took another bite of pancake this time quietly. I casted my gaze downward. "S-sorry. I overreacted. Pancakes are good."

"The pancakes are good." Brian agreed. "Do you think we'll still have our tastebuds when we're old and grey. They say your sense of taste dims as you get older. I can imagine us still flirting over plates of pancakes as old men."

"Old, old men." I smiled to myself. The dream was meaningless. We'd be together forever. "You'll look the same but your hair will be white."

"You'll have a big white beard like Santa Claus. It will look very cute even though you'll be a grumpy old man." He fantasized.

"Grumpy? I'm not grumpy. Fuck off!" I shouted.

"You're right. The word I'm looking for is adorable."

"The word you're looking for is a badass." I contended.

"That's technically two words." Brian said.

"You know what else is two words. Fuck off!" I took another bite of pancake, moaning again. "Or better yet fuck me."

"Don't tempt me, Rog."

Too bad we were in a public place. Maybe we could have some fun in private later. Although the rest of the day was packed with many activities so I would likely have to wait until tonight.

***

I thought I was starting to grow familiar with everyday things. My questions were becoming less frequent. Things no longer seemed so foreign to me. Then I arrived at the beach and all that changed. I was back to square one. Everything was brand new again. It was like opening my eyes for the first time all over again.

"What's that?" "Umbrella." "What's that?" "Beachball." "What's this?" "That's a crab! Don't touch it. Leave it be." "Ooh. What are these?" "Shells. Careful some of them are sharp."

"And all this is sand?" I dug my hands through the warm soft substance. "People say my hair is sandy blonde. What do you think?" I held a fistful of sand up to my hair for comparison.

"I think I love you." Brian blurted. Aww. What a sweetie!

"Well I think you're a sap." I declared. I threw the sand in his face and rolled over laughing. If he really loved me, he'd have to take my immature moments of sporadic silliness.

"I tell you I love you and you throw sand in my face. Well two can play at this game. You are in so much trouble, mister!" Brian growled playfully.

I sat up, shaking the sand out of my hair, scrambling out of the way just in time before Brian lunged at me.

"Gotcha!" My soulmate managed to scoop me up into his arms. "I think I know a suitable punishment for you. Let's wash off all this sand."

Wash off the sand? Oh God! He was carrying me toward the water. Fuck! I was going to die. "No!" I screamed. "Please, Brimi, please!" I fought against him, clinging to him for dear life as we approached the ocean. Brian stopped by the time his ankles were submerged. "Don't let me go! Don't let me go!" I cried. "Get us back on the sand where it's safe this instant!"

"Roger, what's the matter with you? I'm just playing around." He kissed my cheek reassuringly. "Here I'll put you down."

"No!" I shouted. "Not in the water!" I sobbed. "Please!"

"Shh. Shh. It's alright, love. I've got you."He backed up slowly returning to the shore. "No need to cry." Brian wiped my tears and put me back down on a lounge chair far from the water. "Why don't I get us some piña coladas and we relax right here in the warm sun. We don't have to go swimming. Will that make you feel better?"

"Mmhmm." I sniffled. "Thanks, Bri." I put my hand to my heart feeling it race like a sports car. I hated panic attacks so much. They made me feel like I was incapable of doing anything. Maybe Mom was right and I was better off sitting at home doing literally nothing.

I attempted to compose myself as Brian returned holding two circular objects that were unfamiliar. They hosted straws but they didn't resemble cups. I grasped the brown container full of liquid. It was rough against my fingers almost like the bark of a tree. A mini version of what I now understood to be an umbrella floated in my drink. I picked it up and twirled it around curiously.

"Piña coladas served in a coconut. If that doesn't make you feel better I'm not sure what will." Brian announced.

"Ahh. So this is what a coconut looks like."I examined the structure some more before taking a sip of the sugary drink. Perfect for my sweet tooth! I hummed the Piña Colada Song to myself as I lounged and drank it. Paradise? Maybe.

"So what happened back there?" Brian asked eventually. "Why did you freak out? I wasn't actually going to drop you into the water. You know I would never do that. We were just having fun. You were acting like you'd suddenly turn into a merman if you so much as got wet."

"Yup." Easier to go along with that far fetched idea than admit the truth. "You caught me, Brian. That is my secret. When I'm around water I grow a tail. It's blue like my eyes."

"What's really going on?"

"I can't swim." I sighed. "And I'm not too fond of sharks."

"Alright. That's no big deal. I'm glad you told me." Brian replied casually. "Would it scare you to just get your feet wet and splash around in the shallow for a bit? I promise I'll hold your hand the entire time. We won't go in any further than our knees."

"I don't know..." I looked out to the ocean. Sure it seemed like a serene body of bluish green water, but who knows what sort of sinister creature was lurking beneath that facade? "It'll be fun!" Brian insisted.

"Can we build sand castles instead?" I suggested.

"I'll let you drive my car again." He offered. Fuck! There was no saying no to that. "Let's get this over with."

Brian squeezed my hand as we trudged toward the water. I stood at the shoreline biting down on my lip nervously. "Roger, it'll be okay. I promise! Just take a step. One step."

"One step." I repeated, dipping my big toe in the water. It was freezing cold. Brian laughed when I screamed. "I don't like it." I complained. "Let's go back!"

"Come on! You'll warm up." He tugged on my hand and I reluctantly wet my feet. I cringed as the water splashed around my toes. I looked out onto the horizon to distract myself. "Wow!" I exclaimed watching the sunlight dance across the waves. I shut my eyes again, returning to that darkness again, remembering how my life used to be. "I can do this." I said more confidently blinking open my eyes. "Screw the sharks. At least I'll be able to see them coming."

"There aren't any sharks this close to the shore. We're only ankles deep in the water. Besides shark attacks are very rare. It's not something you should worry about. Wanna go in a bit deeper? Maybe to our knees?" Brian suggested.

I frowned. "Your knees translate to my hips." I gestured to our height disparity. Regardless, I forged forward until the water submerged my knees. This wasn't bad at all. "I did it!" I squealed. "Bri, I'm in the ocean! And I'm not dead!"

"See!" Brian exclaimed. "I told you it'd be alright."

"I do see." I laughed. I breathed in a gulp of salty air fully embracing my visible surroundings. "I see it all!"

Choppy waves in the distance cascaded into little ripples. I assumed the shallow waters we were in would remain steady, but it didn't look like the waves were slowing down. "Shit! What do we do? Wave! Wave! Wave!"

"It's just a small one." Brian dismissed. "We can jump it. Ready?"

"Wait what?"

"Jump!" He shouted.

"Fuck!" I nearly tripped over the sudden rush of water the knocked against my knees, but Brian's grip on my hand held me up. I felt safe here with him. He wouldn't let me get swept away by the powerful tide. Knowing that I could allow myself to let loose a bit. "T-That was...actually kinda fun."

"When Miami took us to Brighton when we were young, we would jump the waves for hours and hours." Brian reminisced. "The three of us would hold hands with Deaky always in the middle. Freddie never let him get near the water unless he had his water wings and goggles on even though that wasn't necessary for wave jumping in shallow waters."

"Freddie's such a diva. I can't imagine him getting his hair wet." I snickered.

"John would always manage to convince him. No one can say no to little Deaky." He grinned. "I hope he and Ronnie are having fun jumping the waves in the Bahamas on their honeymoon right now."

"Something tells me he's being a badass and braving the waters without water wings or goggles." If Freddie knew that he'd probably throw a fit, but John was a grown man now. Still, it must have been so cute to see the three brothers as little munchkins reeking havoc on the beach. "Did you go to Brighton a lot?"

"At least once a year." Brian explained. "Eventually Miami stopped taking us because he grew tired of all the pranks Freddie would play on him while he fell asleep reading on a lounge chair. I think he reached his breaking point when he woke up and discovered that Freddie had completely buried him from the neck down in the sand."

"And you and Deaky had nothing to do with that?" I surmised. "Oh, of course not. We were little angels." His smirk betrayed him.

Another wave crashed by our feet. This time I got my timing right and I jumped over it brilliantly. As I was about to applaud myself on a job well done, I felt something slimy wrap against my ankle. Oh no! This was my worst fear. A seamonster was going to drag me down into the water where I'd drown.

"NOT TODAY SATAN!!!" I screamed, sprinting back to the shoreline. I slipped over my wet clumsy feet and tumbled down into the sand. Something green and squishy had attached itself to my lower leg like a vine. Of course when faced with this horrifying creature from the depths of hell, I shrieked.

"Roger! Roger! Calm down! It's just some seaweed!" Brian untangled me from the green tendrils...that weren't moving and seemed very plantlike. Shit! I overreacted again. "Who knew seaweed could be so terrifying?"

"You like it fine when it's in your sushi." Brian tossed the green mass back into the water where it belonged.

"I think I've had enough ocean. Let's lounge in the sand." I suggested.

"I can't force you to go back in, but I'm very proud of you, Roggie. You faced your fears." Brian gave me a kiss and carried me back to our lounge chairs.

"What are you looking for?" I asked as Brian fumbled through his bag. "Maybe I can help?" I reached into the bag without looking, announcing each item as I groped it. "Wallet, keys, some sort of book, a bottle...I think?"

"Bottle of sunscreen!" Brian announced. "Yes. I need that. It's been 2 hours, so we have to reapply."

"Do we have to really?" I groaned. "You'd look so sexy with a tan."

"Yes sunburns and skin cancer are certainly sexy. Now flip onto your stomach, so I can get it on your back. I know you didn't bother to put it on your back earlier." He instructed.

"Well this just got interesting." I cooed, giving into Brian's command. Time for round 2 of the pancake game. When Brian rubbed the sunscreen onto my back, I moaned. "Yeah Bri give it to me good." I grunted.

"This isn't supposed to be a sexual thing, Roger. Will you please stop that? We're in public."

"Stop what?" I teased.

"Fine you win. Get a sunburn. Learn the hard way. At least make yourself useful and help me get my back so I don't have to suffer." Brian said lying down on the lawn chair.

"Admit it, you like it." I whispered in his ear as I took my time rubbing sunscreen down his back. The sun wasn't the only thing making this experience super hot!

"Rog, I can't just give into you when we're in a public place! There's children down there building sandcastles for crying out loud!" Brian exclaimed.

"You wanted sunscreen on your back." I said, massaging his badger tattoo. "I'm just doing what you asked. You love it when I'm your little servant, don't you?"

"Fuck!" Brian didn't curse as often as me or Freddie, so I knew I was in trouble when the swear escaped his lips. "You ever have sex in a car before, Roggie? I bet that's your ultimate fantasy."

"It is actually." I sighed, thinking about how epic that would be. Brian got up, retrieving his keys from the bag. Wait... "Bri, we can't." He wasn't serious. He couldn't be.

"I either take you back to the car or we do it in a bathroom stall." He said bluntly.

"Car please." I requested.

***

It was nearing sunset by the time we got to the fair. The smell of fried food filled my nostrils, but that hardly held my attention as it would have if I were still blind. Instead I was mesmerized by all of the sights. Rides, performers, games, everywhere I looked there was some colorful spectacle.

"Are those balloons?" I asked pointing to a booth. People were throwing darts at the multicolored spheres. "That looks like fun."

"Most of these games are rigged, but we can try our luck." Brian said guiding me toward the game. He paid the man to get us each 4 darts. "Pop 1 balloon you get 1 small prize. Pop 2 balloons, you get 2 small prizes. Pop 3 balloons, you get 2 small prizes and a big prize. Pop 4 balloons and you get 2 small and 2 big prizes. Best of luck!"

I launched my darts, aiming for the balloons, but none of them managed to hit. Oh well. Like Brian said it was probably rigged. He took his turn next. 3 darts missed, but his last one hit a balloon and ricocheted onto the ground. "Hey! You hit it! You get a prize!" I giggled.

"Nah, the balloon didn't pop. Better luck next time!" The man said.

"That's bullshit!" I shouted. "What kind of balloon doesn't pop when a dart hits it?"

"Roger, come on. Don't get upset. We can try another game or maybe go on a ride."

"But you should have won!" I cried.

Trying not to make a scene Brian steered me away from the booth. "Look, they have cotton candy shaped like a heart. I know you have a sweet tooth. Why don't I get you one?"

"I do have a sweet tooth, but I don't know how my British boyfriend would react to a cute Yankee buying me cotton candy." I teased.

Brian rolled his eyes. "Candy floss. Same thing. Do you want it or not?"

"Oh! My boyfriend's back! And he's buying me candy floss! What a treat!"I kissed Brian's lips and dashed to one of the picnic tables to wait for him to buy the sweet.

Seconds later I heard someone screaming my name. Freddie came running hauling an enormous teddy bear on his back. "Roger, darling! You're here! How was the beach? Was it hot?"

"So hot we had to leave early so Brian could fuck me in the backseat of his car." I announced.

Freddie squealed excitedly like a child. "I hope that story is true because it's the best thing I've heard all day! I don't think anything that happens to me can top that!"

Fuck! I've made it this far. I couldn't let Freddie know that he'd leave this fair with an engagement ring from Jim. Speaking of Jim...

"Where's your man?"

"He's buying me one of those fried things. Something with a funny name. An elephant ear I believe. Honestly I'd prefer an elephant cock." Freddie laughed. "We've been having a fantastic day. Jim even won me this giant teddy bear. I can't wait to bring it home to the cats. They'll love it!"

Brian returned with the candy floss and I suddenly realized that I had no clue what a heart even looked like. When I went to primary school I learned my shapes through tactile toys and workbooks. So I knew what shapes felt like just not what they looked like. I rested my eyes on the pink heart of sugar. 💗 "I love it!" I cooed picking off a piece to eat.

"Ahh is that heart shaped candy floss? That's adorable, darling!" Freddie cooed. "And all I get is a fucking elephant cock!"

"I'm sorry. Did you just say elephant cock?" Brian cried.

"Yes and here's Jim now with his elephant cock for me." He waved over to his boyfriend.

"Freddie please stop saying that." I said nearly choking on the bite of candy floss.

"Here you are love one elephant ear." Jim presented him with the fried pastry.

"Is that what an elephant ear really looks like? What do elephants look like?" I questioned as I examined the food.

"Brian, add the zoo to that bucket list you're building for Roger. That would be a great place for a date." Freddie suggested.

"You know how I feel about zoos, Freddie. It's inhumane to lock up animals for our own amusement. They belong out in the wild."

"Jim, darling, would you like to take me and Roger to the zoo? We can see real elephants**—**ears, cock and all!"

"What if we only see lady elephants, Fred? I'd hate to disappoint you." Jim replied.

"Then we'll see a whole bunch of elephant tits." Freddie exclaimed.

"Gross! Is that a thing?" I cried. If so that was one thing I did not want to see.

"You know elephants are matriarchal." Brian stated.

"Good for them! I think I should text Mary. She's upset that she caught Ronnie's bouquet but she's still single. This should cheer her up." Freddie took out his phone. "Thinking of you, my love." He read aloud as he texted. "You are a strong independent woman just like an elephant!"

"Umm Freddie I don't think that's such a good—"

"—And send!"

Seconds later his phone rang. "Oh it's Mary." Freddie answered the phone. "Hello, darling, did you get my text?"

"FREDDIE FUCKING MERCURY YOU HAVE 39 SECONDS TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" I could hear her voice even though it wasn't on speaker.

"Elephants are matriarchal. They don't need a man. They're real feminists. Isn't that great? Brian told me that. I never would have known otherwise."

"Oh you leave me out of this, Freddie. Come on, Rog, I'll try to win you something fluffy." Brian took my hand and pulled me away before Freddie could drag us into the trouble he was causing.

The jeering of a crazy man sitting atop a tank of water caught my attention. I did a double take when I saw his face. It was unnaturally white and a big red ball covered his nose. Matching red lipstick sloppily coated his lips. His hair consisted of a rainbow Afro.

"What's the matter, dollface, afraid of clowns?" He chortled. "Come a little bit closer. I won't bite. If you can dunk me I'll give ya a kiss."

"What the fuck?" I cried. I looked up at the sign on the exhibit wishing I could read to get more context.

"It's a dunk tank." Brian elaborated. "It's a fair game where an obnoxious person usually dressed as a clown shouts insults at you as you try to throw the ball at the target to have him dropped in the water."

"Oh honey, you can do way better than your sexist mansplaining boyfriend. You don't have to settle even though you're flat chested." The clown taunted. "You're still a knockout in my eyes, baby." He wolf whistled.

"You accuse my man of being sexist yet you're the one cat calling me you son of a bitch!" I shouted. "And I settle for no one. I'm dating him because he treats me so well. You wish you could get a guy like Brian. Now you listen to me, I am a strong independent woman just like an elephant and I don't take shit from anyone! You got that?"

That left the clown speechless. Brian shrugged and paid for three balls to throw at the target. He tossed the first ball and missed. "You're a big disgrace, poodle boy!" The clown mocked. Brian tried and failed again.

"Seriously! You throw like a girl! I bet your girlfriend could do better."

I wonder how long it would take this clown to realize that I was really his boyfriend. I continued to go along with the act. "Excuse me I'm his wife!" I took the final ball from Brian and threw it myself, smacking it right in the center of the target. Bullseye! The seat dropped and the clown fell into the water with a loud splash.

"Congratulations! You won Dunk a Dude. Here's your prize." The woman presented me with a stuffed animal. I was unfamiliar with what type of creature it was. Brian hugged me as I looked over my new plushie in curiosity. It was grey with a long nose, big floppy ears, and two additional teeth sticking out of the side of its mouth. The animal was completely foreign to my new eyes, it might as well be a space alien. "Bri, tell me what I'm looking at."

"That's an adorable baby elephant you've got there." The elephant was squished in between us as Brian leaned down to kiss me. An ending to a perfect day in my opinion.

As the sky darkened, we got in line to ride the towering slides. There were multiple slides side by side so Brian and I could race each other. My competitive edge was coming out after dunking that clown. "I am so making it to the bottom first!" I declared. Of course I was at a disadvantage because Brian was able to explain how gravity worked and all the different angles you could lie to gain momentum. "...and at that perpendicular angle you can get a lot of friction."

"Friction." I snickered immaturely.

When we reached the top of the stairs however my enthusiasm dropped. The slides didn't appear as intimidatingwhen I was looking up at them from the ground. I felt my heart leap into my stomach as I stared at the long way down. The floor seemed so far away.

"Just lean back." Brian seemed to sense my unease. "Gravity will do the rest. I promise."

"But what if I end up defying the laws of gravity and I get stuck halfway? Then what do I do?" I worried.

"That won't happen. It's physically impossible. You'll be fine. You might even have some fun, heaven forbid." He gave me a chaste kiss before positioning himself on his slide. Hesitantly I scrambled onto the adjoining one. We counted backwards from three and then leaned back allowing ourselves to fall.

I screamed the whole way down but I couldn't deny how much fun I was having. "Who won?" I laughed, brushing my hair out of my face. "I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy having a ball."

"I'm not sure. We'll have to go again." Brian decided.

Only before we could get back in line, my phone rang. I cursed. Why couldn't I just have one perfect day with the love of my life and my eyesight restored. Was that too much to ask? "I should probably answer it even though I don't want to." I sighed.

"Whatever happens, you'll always have me." Brian said gently. That was reassuring enough. I had my new family to depend on, and unlike my old family (with the exception of Clare of course), they loved me unconditionally.

_'Please be Clare. Please be Clare. Please be Clare.' _I prayed. "Hello."

"Roger! Oh thank goodness you picked up!" I let out a sigh of relief when I heard my sweet sister's voice.

"Clare! It's so good to hear you. For a second I thought--"

"--Mom's in the hospital!" She cried. "I didn't know who else to call. I'm scared, Roggie. Please come home."

"I'm coming home tomorrow." I told her, trying to stay calm. Oh God! If something bad happened to Mom, my last words to her would haunt me forever. My sister needed me and here I was on another continent. What could I do? "What happened? Is she going to be alright?"

"He pushed her down the stairs." Clare didn't even need to say who she was referring to. We both knew it was Michael. "That son of a bitch!" I snarled. "How dare he! I'm going to fucking kill him."

"No! No! Roger, I can't have you going to jail also. My support system is slowly disappearing."

"Also?" I questioned. "Who else is in jail?" I knew Uncle Clem was doing time for fraud, but he was getting out soon.

"I-I called the police on him, Roger. I'm sorry. He had to go away. I'm choosing to press charges on behalf of Mom. She almost died from the fall. I can't put up with his terror anymore. My lawyer says he's taking the plea bargain because he knows he's guilty. He'll be spending the next 5 years in prison."

"Good. That fucker deserves more time for putting us all through a lifetime of abuse, but I'll accept whatever punishment he gets." I growled.

"He'll never hurt us again. The lawyer says we can get a restraining order when he gets out of prison and if he violates it, he'll go right back. I'm just scared about what comes next. My job waiting tables can't support us. Mom won't be able to get a job until she recovers. Maybe I can convince Mom to sell the house and have her move in with me. I don't know what to do. Dad was our provider even though he hurt us. How are we going to put food on the table and keep ourselves alive without him?"

"We don't need him. I'll get a job. In fact I already have an offer. I'm going to be a model! I'm sure the pay will be decent."

"You're going to be a model?" Clare snickered. "Well, you've got the looks for it. I won't lie to you. But are you sure you're qualified? Do you even know the first thing about modeling?"

_'Nope.' _I thought. "I have to step up and help you and Mom now. How hard could it be? The photographer lady said I was a natural. Just smile and look pretty. I'm good at that, right?"

"Yes you are surprisingly very good at that. Although you have a lot more to offer to the world than just looks." Clare replied.

"Brian said the same thing." I remarked. "But this modeling gig is going to have to be the answer for now. I can't think of anything else that'll save us financially. Selling the house like you said is a great idea. And as soon as Mom gets back on her feet, she can get a job as well. It'll be alright, Clare. You'll see. Everything will work out. The important thing is that Mom's alive. How is she doing? Is she doing all right?"

"She's doing much better thank God. The doctors say she's stable now but she may not be able to walk for a while, at least a few weeks. Many broken bones. She's awake now. Would you like to speak to her?"

I thought again of the last words I spoke to her. I told her not to call me again and that I was done with her. If I hadn't been so cold would I have been able to convince her to leave Michael and avoid all this calamity? "Put on her on." I said reluctantly.

"Roggie?" The voice sounded so weak and fragile. I forgot how much of a victim Mom was in all of this. I shouldn't have been so hard on her. "Hi Mom." I said softly.

"My boy, my baby boy. Come home please. I need to see you."

"I'm coming home tomorrow. How are you feeling?"

"Body's aching all the time." She sighed. "You were right about Michael, Roger. I was the blind one. Can you ever forgive me, baby boy?"

"Of course I can." I assured her. "I'll be home tomorrow. I'll see you then, alright?"

"You'll never see me, but you were able to see Michael and see what he was doing to us. I'm so sorry, Roggie. You were right. I stood by his side and accepted it because he told me I wasn't good enough for anyone else. I believed him. I could have gotten you and Clare away from him a long time ago, but he told me no one would be there for me. I'd be a single mother all by myself with an invalid child. We couldn't live off the streets or in a shelter not with you, and I wouldn't want it for Clare either. He blinded me, Roger, but when I fell down the stairs, I finally saw the light."

"Mom, I'm not an invalid, and we would have been better off in a shelter. I could have survived. I'm not as vulnerable as you think. Blind or not, I'm capable of anything I put my mind to. But what's done is done. The important thing now is that you rest and regain your strength so you can step up and be there for Clare. Now that Michael is out of our lives for good she's going to depend on you a lot more. I'll try my best to take care of her, but there's only so much I can do. I forgive you, but if you really want to make it up to me you'll be the mother that Clare needs. The mother that I need. So that means once you heal and go through rehab, you're gonna have to get a job."

"I never finished high school. I had to drop out because of you. Clare is smarter than me. She's getting through college and the poor girl is stuck waiting tables. All the high paying jobs are reserved for the smartest of the smart. Not dumbasses like me. Hell, you're probably smarter than me, and you're blinder than a bat. Did they teach you anything good in blind school? Is that braille degree of yours worth something?"

"Look, we can take adult education classes together. It's never too late to turn your life around. If I can do it, then so can you. You have to stop putting yourself down and more importantly you have to stop putting me down and blaming me for all of your problems. I'm not even fucking blind anymore but even when I was blind I wasn't stupid. You treated me like a deadbrain my entire life and that needs to stop. I am literate after all. I'm just only literate in Braille, but I want to change that soon. I'm going to take the initiative and you need to too. Clare and I are depending on you."

"Rog...I think I'm high on the pain meds. Did you say you weren't blind anymore?"

"That's all you got out of my motivational speech? Christ, Mom! Just do what you have to get better and I'll see you tomorrow. Okay."

"Like see me? For real? When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me? Now that you can see, you can get a real job and hopefully a high paying job. Hallelujah all our troubles are gone!"

I hung up on her. I really thought I was making a breakthru, but it seemed like I was only taking one step forward and slipping two steps back. The only good news was that I could finally say goodbye to all the pain and suffering Michael brought into our lives. He was gone for good and he wouldn't be missed.

"Roger, I'm so sorry." Brian held me. "You don't need to worry about anything financially. I can--"

"--No, Brian. I won't take your money. I have too much pride. I need to get a job. I'm doing this for me, for the sake of my independence, and to prove that I'm worth something."

"You don't have to prove anything. You're worth everything and more. If there's anything you need at all please ask me. I'm here to help."

"I think the best way for you to help me is to let me help myself." I admitted. "All my life my parents put me down, told me I couldn't do anything. If I let you come in and provide everything for me, I'll just be continuing that trend." I sighed. "Look I just want to enjoy the rest of our night. It's our last day in Florida. Let's make the most of it! So can we not talk about my family or jobs or anything like that for the rest of the night? Please, Brimi. This day has been so special and I want to keep it that way."

"If that's what you want, but you should know that I'm here for you. Whatever you need, babe." Brian assured me.

"Right now I just need you to forget this phone call ever happen at least for tonight."

He nodded. "I think I can manage that. So do you want to go on the slide again or try out the haunted house?"

I was so grateful to have such an understanding boyfriend. Michael was finally out of the picture, but Brian was here to stay forever.

***

Now that it was nighttime the ferris wheel was lit up with glowing lights. "Remember, Rog, not a word. Freddie doesn't know." Brian whispered.

"I'm not that pathetic with secret keeping. You still don't know about the conc—Fuck! You're right. I'll keep my mouth shut."

"You know what I think we need to get our own cart, Freddie." Jim announced as we reached the loading dock. "Teddy-Freddie wouldn't be able to fit otherwise." He gestured to the oversized teddy bear Freddie was lugging around.

"We don't mind waiting for the next cart." Brian said.

"It'll be more romantic this way." I blurted. Shit! "I mean um for me and Brian and our elephant plushie. Yeah. It'll be romantic for us."

"Enough chatter, my darlings. I'll see you on the way down." Freddie nestled himself in between Jim and the teddy bear and waved blowing us kisses as their cart went up.

Brian and I ascended the next cart. It wobbled slightly as I stepped inside. This wasn't as scary as the ocean though. I knew I'd be fine. We positioned ourselves so that we could watch Freddie and Jim's cart dangling above us. The elephant plushie rested on my lap while Brian put his arm around me snugly. He kissed the side of my head.

The cart jolted from side a bit as we were lifted up, up into the air. I took in every breathless sight from the lights of all the booths becoming smaller and smaller down below to the moon rising high in the sky. As we got closer to the very top of the wheel I focused my eyes on the cart directly above ours.

Jim stood up causing their cart to sway even more. "Oh my God! It's happening!" I squealed. Brian squeezed my hand as we witnessed the proposal. Jim clumsily got down on one knee in front of Freddie timing it right as they reached the tippy top of the wheel. I squinted trying to gauge Freddie's reaction. Screams? Tears? Something chaotic? No, Freddie just nodded taking the ring and kissing Jim. He seemed almost timid unlike the boisterous Freddie we all knew and loved. I knew it was in those rare shy moments that he was truly letting his guard down and allowing himself to be vulnerable with Jim. This subdued side of Freddie was something very special and I almost felt like an intruder for observing it.

Then the party animal returned. Freddie stood back up waving his hands over the side of the cart. "I'M ENGAGED TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!" He cheered loud enough for us to hear him. Freddie wasn't being inauthentic when he shifted personas. He just had many facets to him. None of them were fake but they were different.

"Bri, is there anything you want to ask me?" I batted my eyelashes as our court reached the highest point. A second proposal would make this the best day of my life.

"Yes actually I do." Brian took both my hands. My heart skipped a beat. He took a deep breath. This was it! I braced myself...

"Are you ready to see London for the first time and start a new life with me?"

Did that new life include a sapphire ring and the last name May? I tried not to look disappointed. "No shit of course. I'm excited." I exclaimed.

"You'll get to see cars drive on the other side of the road." Brian said.

Yes! That was something cool! Although going back home somehow made life with vision seem more daunting. I was no longer on vacation and would have to learn to manage normal daily routine in this foreign new world. "I'll get to see a lot of new things and I'm looking forward to having you as my patient tour guide to answer all of my questions about what it is I'm seeing."

"Always at your side." Brian vowed and I held him to his word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm too lazy to go back and proof this so if there's any typos don't be upset. Thanks again for reading!💖


	14. Somebody to Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger visits his mother in the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!!!! I'm on a writing marathon, bishes! All this week I'll be trying to update at the speed of light before I have to go back to school. So this chapter was supposed to be the Epilogue, but SPOILER ALERT (sort of) in order for the epilogue to make sense, I need a small in between scene where Roger sees Clare and his mother for the first time. So here we go!

"Balloons!" I was able to recognize them after our encounter at the fair. Mom wouldn't be able to see the color but I picked out the blue one. I couldn't read the writing on it but I assumed it said 'Get Well Soon'. "Do you think she'll like this?"

For some reason Brian laughed. I wasn't sure how this could be funny. We were in a bloody hospital, the least funny place imaginable. Well technically we were in the gift shop, but the odors coming from the entire building reminded me that this was a place where people died. That chemical smell covering illnesses reminded me of times spent in the hospital as a child. All those "miracle surgeries" promising to restore my eyesight and not to mention the countless times I got seriously injured because of my disability. These were not fond nostalgic memories. I didn't feel like laughing at all.

"That says 'It's a Boy!'" Brian exclaimed. Okay that was kind of funny. I really needed to learn how to read already. Why wasn't I picking up on at least a few letters? I was able to recognize certain numbers at this point so at least that was progress.

"I'm telling you the flowers from Jim are enough." Brian said. "Let's not stall any longer."

Ah. Brian had caught me red handed. Yes I was stalling. Of the many items on my constantly growing bucket list of things to see, a hospital did not make the cut.

_"Okay, Roger, just breathe normally and soon you will be asleep. When you wake up and we take the bandages off of your eyes you'll be able to see."... _If I had a dime for every time I heard that lie, I wouldn't have to worry about helping out Mom and Clare. I shook my head. This place brought back too many cursed memories. "It's late and I'm tired from traveling. Maybe we should wait until tomorrow to see her."

"Roger, she wants to see you and make amends. Michael is behind bars. You can heal now. I think you can benefit from restoring your relationship with Winnifred even though it hasn't always been the best. You're going to have to see her eventually, so why not now?" Brian reasoned. How was Brian so composed? He almost died in a hospital just like this one. Shouldn't being here upset him?

"I am worried about seeing her." I admitted. "But I don't like being in a hospital."

"Is that's what's wrong? Oh honey why didn't you say something? There's nothing to feel anxious about. It's just doctors, nurses and patients."

"But it's so unsettling. Doesn't it bother you? Aren't you reminded of the time you spent deathly sick in the hospital?" Oops. Probably shouldn't have brought that up. Now both of us would be plagued with bad memories.

"I was fortunate enough to recover, and if I can remember correctly the first time I heard your voice I was lying the hospital bed. Perhaps I did die and you're an angel from heaven."

I rolled my eyes. "You know I wasn't made in heaven. I wish you'd stop calling me an angel." I put back the baby boy balloon. Mom probably got one of those the day I was born, and I doubt she celebrated when I wasn't the healthy happy baby she envisioned.

"Are you sure the flowers are enough?" I asked as we approached the security desk. "It's the thought that counts, Roggie." Brian reminded me. He spoke to the receptionist for me knowing I was ready to turn back around. "Hi. We're here to visit Winifred Taylor."

"I'm sorry, boys. I'm afraid visiting hours are over. Unless you're family, I can't let you in." She said coldly.

"I'm her son." I said boldly.

"Can I see some ID?"

I presented her with my ID and that seemed to be enough. She nodded. "Your friend is going to have to stay outside. Like I said family only."

Oh hell no! I wasn't doing this without Brian. Also, if I went in alone there was a good chance I'd get lost. "He's her son-in-law." I blurted grabbing Brian's hand, purposefully hiding my ring finger so she wouldn't notice it was barren.

"Oh! My apologies. If that's the case, you can go right in. Mrs. Taylor's room is straight down the hall and to the left." She printed us visiting badges and then we were on our way.

"I hate this." I murmured as we walked down the hall. I thought seeing a hospital would make it less scary, but I was wrong. It was an endless austere hallway with rooms hosting sick people. Nurses rolled medical equipment past us. The persistent beeping was familiar but nonetheless unnerving. "It'll be alright, Rog." Brian whispered.

I knocked on the door which was straight down the hall and to the left hoping it was the correct one. "Come in." The muffled voice sounded like Clare. I opened the door, not sure what to expect.

"Roggie!" Before I could realize what was happening, Clare ran to me in a blur and threw her arms around me. "You're here!"

My sister was pretty. She looked a lot like me--long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I touched her face in confirmation. Yes, it was Clare alright.

"Roger, where's Ringo? You don't even have your cane! You have to be careful." She chastised. "Come sit down with me. Bed's at 3 o'clock. Mom's sleeping."

Sure enough there was a woman with her eyes shut resting in the bed. Her hair was a darker blonde than mine and Clare's almost brown. Her skin was pale and showed signs of wrinkles. Her body was covered by the sheets as she slept, but her arm rested above the blanket and it was in a cast.

"Ah, you must be Brian." Clare acknowledged my partner. "Thank you for getting Roger here safely. It's so good to meet you. Roger talks about you nonstop to the point that it drives me mad, so I feel like I already know you."

"These are flowers from our friend Jim." Brian put down the vase and invited himself into the room. "I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances, Clare."

"It's alright. I'm just glad Roger made it here. I need the moral support. I can't do this by myself." She replied joining me on the edge of the bed. Brian pulled up a chair.

I was still staring at Mom not really taking in their interactions. Clare nudged me. It was her habit of getting my attention when I was lost in a dark world. "You don't have to worry. I can confirm. You've got yourself a good-looking man!" She whispered. "I'm sure you've felt his hair by now. You're so lucky."

"Clare, I can see." I announced.

"I know, I know. You see with your hands instead of your eyes." She dismissed. "When Mom wakes up, I brought us Braille playing cards. It might be a nice distraction."

"Brian, that white flower is drooping a bit. Maybe you should water it? The white one, right in between the yellow and purple one. You see it?"

"I see it, but it's not drooping so I don't...Ohh." Brian understood.

"Y-You see in color?" Clare screamed. "W-What? When? How? Holy crow!"

"It happened when I met Brian." I explained. "I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you. It just never came up when you called."

"Never came up?" Clare cried. "Roger, you're looking at me! You see! You see! Why wouldn't you tell me? I thought Mom was high on pain meds and losing her mind...but she was right. You got your vision back! It's a miracle!!!"

"You're crying." I gasped. "Don't cry."

"They're tears of joy, you dimwit! Of course I'm crying. How could I not cry? I prayed for this to happen each and every night. You deserve to see the world and now you see it in color. That's better than anything I could've asked for. Oh Roggie, I'm so happy for you!"She laughed. "You see even better than me now. Still waiting for that special guy to show me color."

"You'll find him one day. And when you do I'll end up scaring him away with my protective speech telling him to treat you right."

"You know I'm thinking of going on one of those dating apps for people looking to meet their soulmate. They say the algorithm is pretty accurate. A good 39% of the time you get paired with your real soulmate."Clare explained.

"Oh no! I wouldn't recommend that. It paired Freddie with a certain fruit fly who was nothing but toxic." Brian warned.

Mom stirred. She blinked open her eyes. "Rog, my baby. You're here!" She gave me a small smile. Wincing slightly she sat up. Her eyes weren't blue like mine and Clare's. They were brown. Did that mean we had Michael's eyes? I shuddered.

"Mom, he can see!" Clare squealed. "He sees in color!"

"In color?" Mom clutched her chest as if she was having a sheer heart attack. She put a hand to my cheek lovingly, something she used to do when I cried as a child to let me know she was here. Now I could see her as well as feel her. I touched the hand caressing my cheek recognizing it immediately. "Hi Mom." I choked.

"My baby boy can see." She cooed. Tears streamed down her cheeks just like Clare. "A-And you finally see me when I look like crap and at my worst. Go figure!"

"You'll get better Mom." I told her. "He's gone. It can only go uphill from here."

"I love you, baby boy. I know it doesn't seem that way, but it's true. I worry about you, Roger. I never wanted you to be in the dark. I thought Michael would take care of us, but I was wrong. It took me too long to realize how wrong I was. But you see in color now. That means you found somebody to love and he'll take care of you."

"Mom, this is my soulmate, Brian May." I introduced her to that somebody quietly sitting in the chair beside the bed. "He's the reason I can see."

"I hope you get well soon Mrs. Taylor." Brian said. He shook her hand that wasn't in a cast.

"You listen to me, Brian, you've got to protect this boy. Understand? Don't be like me and let him slip away. Keep an eye on him. And when he tells you something's wrong, you better listen to him or you'll be sorry."

"Well it took you long enough to come to your senses and listen to me." I pointed out Mom's hypocrisy.

"Roger, shush! I'm speaking to Brian. Now where was I?...Oh yes, my boy is as pretty as a pony but as stubborn as a mule, but it's up to you to steer him in the right direction and keep him far away from danger. Please, please don't hurt my precious baby. He's very fragile. Learn from my mistakes. Treat him good. Don't let him down. He's been let down too many times in his life. I want things to get better for him. And I don't want him continuing this cycle of abuse. So if you dare lay a hand on Roger like Michael I swear I will go all Mama bear on your ass. I messed up with Michael but I won't screw up again. I'll spot the red flags this time even if I can't see the color red."

"Brian loves me, Mom. He's the opposite of Michael, and I'm capable of doing many things on my own. I'm not some fragile flower. Brian treats me with respect and he knows I'm competent." I contended.

"I'll be there for him, Mrs. Taylor. He's the love of my life." Brian said.

"Call me Winifred, my dear." She responded warmly. "And I know you'll be perfect for my Roggie because you gave him the gift of sight and he clearly loves you very much. Perhaps one day I'll be lucky enough to find my true soulmate as well."

"He's out there Mom and it'll be like night and day compared to Michael." I insisted. "He'll be compassionate and loyal and—"

"—Funny!" She interjected. "Lord I pray for a man with good looks and a sense of humor. It'd help if he were rich too."

"How about someone who's kind and decent?" Clare ventured. "That's what Roger and I want for you. If you pick up a rich charming man he could be just like Michael and we'll be right back to where we started."

"Nonsense, sweetheart. I told you I'm starting over. New beginnings. I won't make the same mistakes." Mom vowed. "I won't just find anybody to love. I'm not going to settle until I find my soulmate. Having a supportive man who really loves me and doesn't treat us like sewer rats will answer all of our problems. You know maybe I should try that app that tries to pair you with your soulmate."

"Focus on recovering first, Mom, then you can start dating again." I advised.

"And if the app suggests Paul Prenter might be your soulmate run the other way." Brian strategized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!!! I hope you enjoyed this quick chapter. Stay tuned for the Epilogue and sequel. Cheers! 💖🥂


	15. Let us Cling Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger has a whole new life!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know I said last chapter that this is going to be the epilogue, but there's been a change of plans. I had a sequel planned that takes place months later and follows Roger as he adjusts and makes a new life with Brian. Then I thought, why make it a sequel? Why not just continue and have a chapter after the "epilogue" that jumps to a few months later. That way I don't have to come up with a new catchy title that may or may not (pun intended) relate to Queen. Also, it'll be easier for my readers to just continue reading the story without searching for a new book. So that's the plan. This is just going to be one long on-going book instead of a series. I'm considering doing the same thing for Four Magical Misfits, but we'll see... Yeah I don't have the best track record when it comes to sequels. I think keeping it all contained to one volume will make it easier on all of us. So here's the chapter that would have been the epilogue and the next chapter will pick up months later signifying what would have been the start of the sequel. Does that make sense? If it's confusing then I'm sorry. Carry on. Carry on.

_2 weeks later..._

"I feel like I'm a Kindergartner!" I complained setting the worksheet down on the table. "Ugh! I hate homework. And seeing it doesn't make it any better."

I marked my name at the top of the paper, writing each letter slowly and carefully. "Ha ha! Half-way done and I didn't have to look at my cheat sheet! Look, Brimi, look! I did it! I wrote my name without the Braille translator!" I waved the paper in the air eager to show off my accomplishment. Brian rushed over to marvel my work and correct it if necessary. In this case it was the latter. "You wrote Roqer. That's a q, not a g."

"Fuck! They look alike." I erased the q and replaced it with a g. Then I went on to write Taylor. "Did I do it right?"

"Looks good to me." Brian nodded and sat down next to me. "So what's your assignment besides writing your name?" He examined the paper.

"It's dumb. I just have to rewrite these sentences." I sighed. "I know Lisa also teaches children in the morning, but I'd appreciate some variety for her adult classes. I mean look at these uninspired sentences. _'I throw the ball.' 'She reads a book.'_ Couldn't you make them more interesting? Like look at this one:_ 'The mailman has a card.'_ Wouldn't it be better as '_The mailman has sex.'_ See that would make this activity far less boring."

"The mailman has sex." Brian repeated. "Well, I'm certainly inspired. Forget modeling and dental school. You should be a poet, Rog."

"I'm serious, Brian. I mean who does Lisa take us for? Just because we're learning to read and write later in life doesn't mean we're kids."

"But when you find things like 'The mailman has sex' amusing, you might as well be a kid." Brian teasingly ruffled a hand through my hair and kissed my cheek. "Keep at it, baby. I'm proud of you." He got up from the table and walked over to the kitchen of our shared flat. Since moving in together we had developed a routine. After work, I would do homework while Brian cooked.

I reminded myself that I needed to learn to write to take the written exam for my drivers' license. That was enough to help me push through this mundane assignment. Writing simple sentences like this reminded me of something I would have done in elementary school but with a Braille slate and stylus. That was probably the most difficult part for me. Unlike my peers who spoke foreign languages or had learning disabilities, I already had the knowledge I needed. It was only a matter of correlating the bumps to letters. It surprised me how quickly I learned to read as it was only a matter of memorizing the alphabet. Now I could recognize letters and words, but I hit a roadblock when it came to transcribing them by memory. Physically writing was a new skill that was proving to be as annoying as it was difficult. "You know we live in the 21st century. Nobody writes by hand anymore." I ranted.

"Roger, you'd finish much faster if you'd just be quiet and get it done." Brian reprimanded. I rolled my eyes knowing he was right. I just had to suck it up.

"Here, try this." Brian presented me with a spoonful of chickpea squash soup. "What do you think? More salt?"

"Mmm...more pepper." I considered myself an accidental vegan. In other words I lived with a vegan and I couldn't cook, so most of my meals ended up meatless. I wouldn't go out of my way to maintain a vegan diet, but it seemed like Brian was forcing me in that direction whether I liked it or not. All in all though, I couldn't complain. Of course we fought from time to time, but for the most part what we had achieved was domestic bliss at least in my opinion.

"He shops at the store." I completed the last sentence. "Done!"

"Excellent! Dinner is almost ready."

I checked my new phone while I waited. The little red 1 by the mail symbol meant I had a new message. Now nobody could say "Ok Boomer" to me. I knew how to use technology! Or at least read my emails. It was progress.

_'Hi Roger_

_Congratulations on your first photoshoot! We had a lot of fun working with you and look forward to doing more business in the future. The pictures came out fantastic. With your permission, we are going to use them to sell our sister company's picture frames. You'll be receiving 25% of the profits we receive in picture frame sales in addition to your salary. Are you interested in doing more modeling on Monday afternoon? Let us know by the end of the weekend. You're one of our best models and we don't want any competitors to seek you out. So let's keep in touch._

_Regards,_

_The Good Old Fashioned Photographs Team_

I scrolled through the pictures they had taken of me. When I had posed, I just assumed they would work their magic and make me look good. So I had no clue how they would come out.

"Ooh! I should send that last one to Freddie. He'll like it. They made me hold this random cat for some reason. I think they said that one would be used to sell pet food or something. It's the only one printed in color because they say pet owners are statistically more likely to find their soulmates. Do you think that's true? Bri? Are you listening?"

"S-Sorry...I just...It hasn't clicked that I'm dating a model. Umm, dinner's ready." Brian took my phone from me to look at the pictures more closely as I served myself.

"You know I'm much hotter in real life than the pictures." I said trying to get his attention back. The soup was too hot so I puckered my lips and blew on it to cool it down.

"The soup is chilled. I thought you tried it earlier." Brian frowned. "You don't have to....Ohh. I see what you're doing."

"What am I doing?" I asked innocently, fluttering my eyelashes. "I'm just trying to eat your delicious soup." In an attempt to somehow eat soup sexily, I accidentally choked on a chickpea and the game ended.

"W-What are you doing?" I sputtered as Brian got behind me and did some sort of chest compression. "You're not dying on me, Rog! I'm doing CPR to save your life." Sure enough I coughed up the chickpea that was caught in my throat. That probably wouldn't have killed me, but it was certainly uncomfortable. I played it up. "I think I need mouth to mouth just to be sure I'm not still dying." I dramatically fainted onto the chair.

"What am I going to do with you?" Brian sighed and gave me a kiss on the lips. I blinked open my eyes. "I see you." I smiled.

"And I see color." He beamed kissing me again.

After dinner, we played Scrabble. Well our version of Scrabble was slightly different than most. To make things more competitive, neither of us were given an advantage. Brian used Braille tiles while I used normal tiles. It just wouldn't be fair the other way around.

I ran my fingers across the set of tiles Brian put down. I gasped. "Brian May!" I scolded. "You never let me use swears in Scrabble. Why do you get a pass?"

"Hunt isn't a swear last time I checked." He replied.

"Honey, you didn't spell hunt." I laughed. "That's not an H."

"It's not?" He look over his cheat sheet again. "Ohh." He took away the tile. "Here. I'm pretty sure this is an R. Runt. That's not a bad word."

Before I could say something sassy in response, my phone rang. It was no longer an ordeal that made my heart race with dread now that Michael was in prison. Worse case I'd get a phony phone call. This time it was Clare.

"Hi, Roger! Are we still on for tomorrow night? I'll pick you two up at 7. The concert is at 8."

"Of course, John, I'd love to hear all about your honeymoon, but right now I'm playing Scrabble with Brian. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow? You'll be back in town." I spoke in code. After revealing Ronnie's pregnancy, I was trying to get better at concealing things. I really wanted Brian to be surprised.

"Ohhhh. Wow! You've gotten better at keeping secrets." Clare understood. "Enjoy Scrabble and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Can't wait. See you then, Deaks!" I hung up successfully and Brian didn't suspect a thing!"That was Deaky." I lied.

"Yeah he said he'd be home in time for my birthday. Still can't believe my baby brother is a married man now with a child on the way."Brian remarked.

"You can't believe Deaky's married with a baby on the way. You can't believe you're dating a model. As a man of science, is there anything you believe?" I laughed.

"Not another word out of you!" Brian teased.

That was a hard request for me to abide by. I put down my tiles as quietly as possible offering Brian nothing but a smile. 'Love' I spelled out. He returned the smile. "Knowing that this is for sure an R." He added the braille tile creating the word 'Lover'.

"So you'll be 27 tomorrow." I murmured, inspecting the board and my tiles. He was so young, but so accomplished. Quite a catch! "You'll be 25 next week." Brian replied mimicking my attempt at small talk.

_'I knocked on the door to the office. "Come in." A man's voice called. I fumbled for the knob and twisted the door opened._

_"Hello. I'm Mr. Matthews. You must be Roger." The same man's voice greeted me. "Chair is 8 o'clock."_

_I nodded and went to sit down. I ran my hands against the desk in front of me. "You're behind a desk." I observed. "You must be very official, Mr. Matthews. My teachers said this meeting wouldn't be too formal. We're just here to talk, right? Nothing too serious."_

_"Roger, in a few years you'll be graduating. It's my job to make sure you're well prepared to face the world. According to your records, you're an above average student and you're preparing to take your SATs in Braille soon."_

_"Soon? I'm putting that off until next year at least." I laughed._

_"Point is you seem to be doing well. How long have you been blind if you don't mind me asking?" Mr. Matthews pressed._

_"Since I was 2."_

_"Ahh. So this is nothing new for you. That explains why you haven't had too many problems from what I've heard. Do you have any plans for the future?"_

_I sighed. This meeting was pointless. Why was it mandatory? "I'll never amount to anything. Can I go now?"_

_"That's not true, Roger." Mr. Matthews was obligated to inspire me. "From what I can tell you're very bright. I was speaking to the band instructor earlier about the students I got assigned to and she was telling me how talented you are on the drums. Do you like music?"_

_"I love it. It's my favorite thing in the world." I said, but I could see where this was going. I'd heard it too many times..._

_"You know there have been and still are many great musicians who are blind." Mr. Matthews stated. "Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles--"_

_"--Look, I don't want to be patronized. I've been attending this school long enough to hear all of these stupid motivational speeches about how being blind doesn't have to set you back. The point is I am set back no matter how you phrase it. I'm pretty much fucked after I graduate. My family won't pay for a university for the visually impaired. There's no way I can ever find a decent job even with a college education, so what's the point?"_

_"Roger, where do you envision yourself 10 years from now?" He inquired._

_"10 years from now?" I repeated. "I'd be...25, right? Um...Probably still living with my family and depending on my parents. Hopefully, I won't be a virgin by then. Yeah...but that's about it. I'll just be sitting around at home doing nothing. Well maybe I'll listen to the radio and read some books so I don't die of boredom."_

"Have I told you how much I love you?" I cooed. "I never would have thought I'd be sitting here with the love of my life who's fully visible mind you."

"Oh yes. People always seem to admire my visibility." Brian said. "Are you just telling me you love me all of a sudden so I'll let you win?"

"No. I've already won." I said confidently.

"You haven't." Brian put down his last tiles. "Triple word score. That makes me the winner!"

"I wasn't talking about Scrabble, you twat." I giggled.

***

Someone was ringing our doorbell and knocking at the same time obnoxiously. "What time is it?" I slurred.I could tell despite the drawn curtains that it was still dark outside. So that gave me my answer: it was too bloody early!

"Brian, wake up and go tell whoever it is at the door to fuck off. Will you?" I nudged him. He groaned with his eyes still shut. "C'mon Roggie...it's my birthday. Let me sleeeeeep."

"Maybe if we ignore them long enough they'll go away." I pulled the blanket back over my body and tried to fall back asleep. The intruder continued with the disruptive noise at the door.

Brian gave in first and kicked the sheets off of him and got up. I considered staying in bed, but what if it was a robber or someone dangerous at the door? I didn't want Brian to face that threat on his own. "Now who in their right mind would wake us up at 6 in the morning?" Brian sighed as he opened the door.

Four shirtless men with bulking muscles heaved a grand piano into the room. Freddie was riding on top of the piano like Cleopatra making a grand entrance on her throne. "Surprise!" He sang as the men set the piano down in the living room.

"Freddie, it's 6am." I yawned. "What the hell are you doing out of bed?"

"Sleep is for the weak, darling. Who needs it? I certainly don't! What do you think of the gift? Help me down, boys!" Freddie spread his arms out and the workers brought him down from the piano.

"Um how does your fiancé feel about this spectacle?" Brian asked bluntly.

"Oh it was Jim's idea. These are his workers. They handle all of his heavy lifting in the garden. You know flowerpots, bags of mulch and compost. That kind of stuff. He said I could hire of these strong guys." Freddie explained. "Of course I told them I'd pay them all double if they showed up shirtless. Didn't think they'd actually do it."

"Work is hard to find." One of the men spoke up. "If I can make $50 carrying around a pampered prima donna for your amusement, I'll do it."

"Yeah, I need this money. My wife's expecting another baby in the fall." Another man said. That was when I noticed all of them had wedding rings on. Ahh, that explained why Jim was okay with this plan.

"You will be compensated, my darlings. I appreciate all of your hard work." Freddie took his wallet out of the pocket of his impossibly tight pants and paid each of the men and thanked them once more. "I'll pay for your Uber back home as well. I'll let you know if I need any more heavy lifting." He winked.

"So you woke us up at 6am for that?" I cried.

Freddie ignored me and went to the piano. "_Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday Dr. Brimi. Happy birthday to you." _He sang. Then he ran up and kissed Brian on the cheek.

"Freddie, did you really lug a grand piano in here just to sing me happy birthday?" Brian asked.

"No, don't be daft. The piano is my gift.You're humble about it but you're a beautiful pianist, Bri, and I wish you would play more often."

"Me? No, Freddie. You know that's not true." Brian downplayed. "I'm nowhere near as good as you."

This was all news to me. "I didn't even know you played piano. How come you never told me?"****

"Because I'm not very good I'm afraid, but I appreciate the sentiment, Fred. I'm sure this piano will be put to good use. You play piano, don't you, Rog?"

"No better than you evidently." I said. "Want me to play something for you?"

I sat on the bench and closed my eyes. It had been a while since I last played piano and it certainly wasn't my forte. The muscle memory was there of course and I struck some basic chords reacquainting myself with the familiar feel of the keys beneath the tips of my fingers. I sloppily ran through the trill of Fur Elise, one of the few piano pieces I could remember but I messed up several times. "Fuck!" I refused to embarrass myself any longer. I'd stick with drumming. That was the one thing I was good at.

"You play piano with your eyes closed the whole time?" Freddie applauded.

"Well yeah. Seeing the keys throw me off. I know them better by touch and more importantly sound." I explained.

"He drums blindly too. Never opens his eyes but still plays perfectly. Isn't he just amazing?" Brian marveled.

"It's easier for me that way. It's how I learned. If I have my eyes open I'll get distracted by everything I see and I don't like how foreign the drums look. Same with the piano." The ivories were so daunting unless I were to close my eyes and go by touch.

"Well however you learned, you've got something special, my dear." Freddie contended. "And same goes for you, Brian. I don't want that piano to just sit here and collect dust. Treat her well. I mean that very seriously. No sex on or near the piano. Do you understand? I'm usually into kinky stuff, but even I have my boundaries."

Oh we were going to fuck hard on that piano. I couldn't wait! Brian just flushed red with embarrassment. "Wouldn't dream of it, Freddie."

"Now I have to go surprise Deaky at the airport. I'll be back later with a vegan cake from Joe. Happy birthday, my sweet Brimi! I love both of you adorable idiots!" Freddie blew us kisses on his way out.

"Did I wish you happy birthday yet? I don't remember. My brain is still asleep." I yawned. "Wanna go back to bed?"

"You read my mind, love. Let's sleep in."

I fell back asleep almost instantaneously. All it really took was Brian holding my securely. Before I slipped into dream land, I reached up and brushed my hands across Brian's face memorizing the structure with my eyes shut. _'I'll still see you if I wake up blind again.' _I thought and then all coherence left me.

When I opened my eyes again I was relieved to see sunlight peaking through the curtains. Time to give the birthday boy a good morning kiss. I turned to my side but Brian was missing. So much for sleeping in.

"Brian?" I called. I ventured out of bed and out of the bedroom. Music graced the halls of our flat. Brian was playing the piano. The song flowed hauntingly with beautiful lyrics.

_"...Let us cling together as the years go by_   
_Oh my love, my love_   
_In the quiet of the night_   
_Let our candle always burn_   
_Let us never lose the lessons we have learned..."_

Brian stopped singing and looked up at me. "Good morning." He casually rose from the piano bench and gave me a kiss.

"Happy birthday!" I chirped. "What song was that?"

"Just something I've been working on. Nothing too special." Brian dismissed. "You know what would really make my day? If you played something for me."

"You heard me play earlier. That's not fair. I want to hear more of your brilliant song." I requested.

"Maybe later. For now why don't you play me Happy Birthday?"

I pouted. "You already heard Freddie do it way better than I can. Please Brian that song was so mesmerizing. I need to hear it again."

"Just do this for me, alright? And then I'll play some more. I promise I will. Just play me something first." He negotiated. "Please, will you do this for me, Roger? It is my birthday after all."

"Very well. For you." I made my way over to the piano.With my eyes shut I rushed through a rendition of the happy birthday song hitting the high notes like Michael Scott from The Office.

Opening my eyes was always an ordeal but I was getting used to seeing a world beyond this darkness. What I didn't expect was for that world or rather Brian to suddenly change. Yet when I opened my eyes I saw my tall handsome man no longer towering over me but rather at eye level even though I was seated on the piano bench.

"What the—" It took me a moment to realize Brian was down on one knee. Okay that explained the dramatic change in height. Wait...

I thought I was ready for this moment but I wasn't. I started panicking. Brian wanted to marry me now, but what if months or years later he realized he made a mistake? In the long run I knew I wasn't smart enough for Brian. We were soulmates but there were so many ways we weren't compatible and I just didn't live up to Brian's standards. He needed someone to challenge him intellectually. I would eventually bore him no doubt with my endless questions and immaturity. Brian shouldn't have to deal with someone so childlike. Oh God! What if he wanted kids? Sure I wanted kids too some day, but I was terrified of hurting them the same way my father hurt me. What if I became like him? I didn't want to be a monster like that, but I shared the same DNA. It was in my blood.

"Roger," Brian presented me with the sapphire ring I had been waiting for, "I want us to spend the rest of our lives together." I wanted that too, so fucking bad. He made me happier than I had ever been in my life. And it had nothing to do with seeing the light. I could be blind and still fall head over heels for Brimi. I treasured our time together and how special Brian made me feel. No, this wasn't a mistake. There was no way something that felt this right could be the wrong choice in the end.

"So I think the greatest birthday gift I could ever ask for is marrying you if you'll have me."

"I'd have to be blind not to see what you mean to me. Of course I'll have you, baby!" I squealed. The ring was a perfect fit and a match to my eyes. I couldn't be prouder to wear it. "I love you! I love you! I love you!" I declared with a scream, chaotically smashing our lips together.

"I love you too." Brian beamed picking me up twirling me in the air like he had after our first kiss. "Do you want to hear the song I wrote for us?" He set me down next to him on the piano bench and began to play that evocative melody again.

On the final chorus, I had picked up the lyrics and harmonized with a higher pitch.

_"...Let us cling together as the years go by_

_Oh my love, my love_   
_In the quiet of the night_   
_Let our candle always burn_   
_Let us never lose the lessons we have learned."_

"Clever Rog! You picked up on those words so quickly." Brian exclaimed. "What do you think of the song?"

"I loved it of course. It was beautiful, but it's rather somber. Why do you always have to write such sad songs? Aren't you happy? You said the song was about us."

"It is about us. We'll always be together and even if we're apart we'll still see the light because of our connection as soulmates."

"That so deep." I sighed. "Like some wise old Japanese proverb."

"You know I think that's exactly what this song could use." Brian mused. "I should write some verses in Japanese."

"Y-You're fluent in Japanese all of a sudden? What the fuck, Bri? How are you so smart? It's not fair."

"No, I don't speak Japanese unfortunately. It's a beautiful language and culture. I'd love to learn some day. For now I'll have to rely on a translator."

"Have you ever been to Japan?" I wondered.

"No, I haven't, but Freddie has. He's told me all about it. He just loves it there. Says it's absolutely gorgeous." Brian sighed wistfully. "Hopefully I'll get a chance to go one day and see it for myself."

"Should we add a trip to Japan on the bucket list?" I proposed.

Brian's face lit up with excitement, but before he could reply, the doorbell ran again. This time it wasn't accompanied by any knocking because whoever was visiting knew that just one noise was enough. All Brian had to do was open the door just a crack and a cat shoved its way into the flat. Of course Freddie followed the cat inside. He was accompanied by Jim and Deaky and Ronnie. Jim handed Brian a bouquet of flowers with an accompanying sign reading: _Happy Birthday, Brian! Love Jim and Freddie ._

"Surprise, darlings! It's me again! And I brought the love of my life, my favorite cat, a cake, and two cream puffs to celebrate! It's a very special time you know. From now until September I'm the same age as my younger brother! We're both 27 today. Can you believe it, Brimi? I certainly can't! Time flies!"

"I'm sorry...who's the other creampuff?" Deaky scratched his head in confusion.

"The one in Ronnie's belly of course." Freddie clarified. "Darling, why are you so skinny? You need to eat something! Baby baby Deaky needs to grow up big and strong in there."

"Freddie, I'm only 6 weeks pregnant. Relax. Now let's not try to jinx anything this early on in the pregnancy, but so far doctors are telling me I'm at no risk and it's a healthy baby." Ronnie announced.

"We're all praying for only the best for our new little one." John said putting his arm around his pregnant wife protectively.

"That's why I insist you sit down and have some cake." Freddie ordered. "Joe made this." He placed the cake down on the dining room table. "If it tastes bad, don't blame him or me. Joe can only do so much baking without any dairy or eggs. You're welcome, Brian."

"I appreciate this, Freddie. Thank you and thank you for these beautiful flowers, Jim." Brian said politely. "I'll have you know the piano's already been put to good use too. I've already written a song for my fia—my Roger." He caught himself and looked to me. "Should I tell them, love, or do you want to do the honors?"

"Tell us what?" John asked.

"Oh no! Please don't tell me you did something indecent on that piano. I made you promise you wouldn't." Freddie cried.

"We're engaged!" I shouted holding up the ring on my finger.

"Congratulations!" Jim exclaimed.

"It's about time!" Deaky proclaimed.

"I love the ring. It's so pretty and it even matches your eyes." Ronnie observed.

Freddie was unexpectedly the last to react. He sat for a moment taking in the news, not saying a word. For a moment I thought he was in shock. Then he jumped out of his seat with a big toothy smile. "YES! I'm so happy I could burst! Oh it's all so wonderful, lovies! We have to call Miami. We have to call Mary. We have to call Joe. We have to call Phoebe. We have to call Professor Smith. We have to call bloody everybody and scream it to the rooftops. MY BROTHER IS GETTING MARRIED TO MY BEST FRIEND!" He went on speaking a mile a minute. I could barely keep up. "Now Jim and I already have our wedding planned and it's going to be beautiful. We're doing it in Japan. I'm older and got engaged first so you have to wait until after we're back from our honeymoon which will also be in Japan. I refuse to have a double wedding. I love you both more than you can ever imagine, but I can't share things. On my wedding day I want all the attention to be on me...and Jim. So I'm thinking you two should get married after us in Paris, the city of love. Isn't that romantic? What do you think? I am loving all of these excuses for vacations now that I'm no longer touring. Every wedding should be a destination wedding in my opinion."

"Slow down, Freddie. We haven't picked out a date or venue yet, but Japan does sound lovely. We were just talking about traveling there so I'm glad we'll be able to go there for your wedding." Brian said.

"I've never been to France either." I said. Actually there were a lot of places I hadn't been, but I planned to explore the world in this lifetime shared with my new family.

"There's so much out there for you to see, my dear." Freddie said. "Brian, make sure to show him everything he's been missing out on for the past 22 years."

"Bri's been doing a great job." I defended him.

"I know, darling. You two are perfect for each other. Just don't hurt each other because then I will have to hurt you both in retaliation." Freddie threatened.

"Is that your obligatory protective big brother speech?" Brian laughed.

"Well it's a bit difficult since both of you are my brothers. So I'll leave it at don't hurt each other...My God! This cake is bloody disgusting!" Freddie spit out his piece. Not too long ago I might have agreed with him and also spit out the cake, but now I was growing used to eating vegan so it didn't taste as heavy and bland to me anymore.

"Brian, should we give you your present now?" Deaky blurted.

"I don't see why not." Brian said.

"So on the beach there was an artisan selling his pottery to the tourists. We saw this and immediately thought of you." Ronnie explained as Brian unwrapped the paper revealing a ceramic figurine resembling a badger. "Oh it's adorable. I love it!" Brian exclaimed.

Of course I was surprising Brian with the concert tickets tonight, but I had another gift for him. Considering how personal it was, I wanted to give it to him privately. Then again, I didn't want Brian to believe I hadn't gotten him anything now that the others had presented him with their presents. Here I was appearing to not give him anything on his birthday whereas he had given me a ring and a love song. "Um, I got you something too." I announced. "It may not seem that special, but I--"

"--Nonsense, if it comes from you then I know it means a lot. Let me see it, honey."

I nodded and went to fetch the notebook from my bag. One of the first pages was just a sheet of lined paper with a single sentence written on it in my squiggly messy penmanship. To an outsider, it would look like nothing, but it held a great significance I was hoping Brian could appreciate.

"It's dumb really." I said holding the notebook self consciously. "This um is the first thing I ever wrote....Well, I did handwriting exercises before that just the writing letters of the alphabet repeatedly, but this is the first sentence I ever wrote."

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Freddie cooed. "What did you write, darling? I bet it's something dirty!"

"I bet it's something about cars." Deaky laughed.

"Fuck off!" I scoffed. I was already embarrassed enough. Why did I think this was a good idea? It was a stupid gift and I should have waited until Brian and I were alone.

"This is because of Brian May." He read. "Rog...I....Wow! This means a lot."

"You seriously need to stop making me cry." Freddie sniffled. "Why are you so adorable?"

"It really isn't a big deal. The assignment was to write a sentence. That is a sentence." I stated.

"Yes. It's a grammatically correct sentence, but...Thank you, Roger. We both know that this means a lot more than just a random sentence on a page. Hell, you could've written anything like the mailman has sex." I laughed at our little inside joke.

"Wait what? Give me the name of your mailman." Freddie purred. Then he looked at Jim and assured him. "I'm only joking, dear. I only have eyes for you."

"You know it's not really because of me." Brian said. "You were the one who put in all the effort. I don't think I could ever relearn everything from scratch the way you do. It's very brave what you're doing, Roggie, and I'm so proud of you."

"So what else have you been writing since then?" Deaky flipped through the pages finding more handwriting exercises and series of random sentences. "I knew it!" He exclaimed.

"Ahh. The second sentence I ever wrote." I grinned as John spotted another original sentence that wasn't a copy for an assignment. "Pretty brilliant, right?"

"I'm in love with my car." Freddie read aloud. "Roger, do you even have a car?"

"A man can dream can't he?" I insisted as the others laughed.

Our guests stayed well into the afternoon.I didn't mind them overstaying their welcome but I feared the timing would collide with the concert. I was keeping it a secret from Brian in addition to the others because I didn't want to be the cause of any jealousy. Thankfully, everyone was gone by the time Clare arrived. Brian was surprised when yet another person rang the doorbell. "Now who could that be? Do you think someone left something behind. Roger, do you mind looking around while I get that?"

"Somehow I'm better than you at finding things." I giggled. I pretended to look around for any loose articles, but I knew very well who was at the door. 

"Clare!" I looked up to see my sister walk in. "What are you doing here?" Brian asked still clueless. 

"You still haven't told him?" Clare gasped. 

"What's going on?"

Unable to maintain my enthusiasm any longer, I bounced on the heels of my feet eagerly. "Bri, we're going to the Beatles reunion show!" 

"I don't understand. Tickets were sold out within minutes--"

Clare held up three ticket with a sly smile. "Happy birthday!" She squealed and I screamed excitedly. 

"You're joking!" Brian cried. "How did you ever get your hands on a ticket--let alone 3? It must have cost you a fortune." 

"I won them from a radio show. Front row seats." Clare exclaimed. "Oh I can't wait!" 

"I love you, Clare. Good God, do I love you." I cooed. 

"Yes, yes, I love you too, Roger. Now both of you go put on something nice and we can get going. The concert's at 8. We don't wanna be late!"

"Oh! I can wear that nice blazer Miami got me." Brian said. "Wow! I can't believe this is happening! They said it was impossible to get tickets." 

"I have no clue what I'm going to wear." I frowned. 

"One of your nice shirts." Clare advised. "Maybe you can--Oh my goodness! Is that a ring? Roger, why are you wearing a ring?"

"I'm wearing a ring because I'm engaged!" I announced. 

"When did this happen? Tell me all the details! Can I be your flower girl?"

"I think you're too old to be...Oh never mind. Of course you can. I can't say no to you." 

Brian returned from our room now dressed in a debonair blazer. He had no right to go around being so hot. I wolf whistled. "Looking good, Dr. May!" 

"This is crazy!" Brian shouted. "I can't believe we're seeing the Beatles. I'm so excited..." He caught my gaze and with a wink he screamed.

"Hey!" I laughed. "That's my thing." 

"Well then we'll have to make it _our_ thing." 

"Our thing." I nodded. "I like the sound of that." 

So we screamed together as loud as we could making it our new thing--a perfect addition to my new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it, folks! What would have been the ending of this book if I chose to make a series. Instead, we'll be continuing onward. The next chapter will take place many months later. Be patient with me because school is starting Monday. Somehow though I always find a way to write and make speedy updates. I feel bad making that promise however so don't expect it in case I can't keep up with myself. Either way stay tuned for more....


	16. Let Me Take Your Hand, Let Me Be Your Guide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bad snowstorm causes blackouts across London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so pleased with how many positive comments I'm getting on this story and all my stories in general. You inspire me to write and continue to write. So thank you so much!!!
> 
> And now we're moving on to what would have been the sequel. Freddie and Jim's wedding is coming up and Brian and Roger's to follow but before we pack our suit cases for Japan and later France, we have a bit of slice of life to get through...

_4 months Later_

_Brian's POV_

I was happy at home, but the one thing I missed about Florida was the winters, or lack thereof. Early December in London was quite frigid and would likely only get colder from here. I shivered zipping up my overcoat as Roger continued to tell me about the new door they installed in the modeling and photography studio where he worked. I wanted to give him all of my attention, but the cold air was rather distracting as we made our way out of the lobby.

"...It's really neat. The panels are designed to capture all the light, so whenever it closes it's completely dark except for the red light they use over the photos."

"Mhmm. Watch your step, love, the stairs are icy." I took Roger's hand to hold him steady because the last thing I wanted was my fiancé slipping. He'd taken way too many falls over the years and I was here to put an end to that (or at least try to).

"...They say it's better to develop the photos without any light so--" Roger stopped talking and looked up completely lost as if in a trance.

"Rog?" I waved a gloved hand in front of his face.

"Rain looks different...Sounds different too. Almost sounds like..." Roger reached the conclusion on his own without me saying a word. "Ohmygod it's snowing! It's snowing! Bri, Bri, Bri, it's snowing!" Completely ignoring my warning he jumped down from the top step and rushed outside.

"Careful!" I called after him.I shook my head. What else could I expect from Roger seeing snow for the first time? Last month when the temperature dropped, the cutie nearly lost his mind upon discovering that you can see your own breath in cold weather. Roger ended up nearly passing out because he had huffed and puffed so much it made him lightheaded.

"Roger, what are you doing?" I cried chasing him into the streets. His gloves were discarded on the ground while his hands explored the mounds of snow piling up by our feet. I picked up the dropped garments for him. "Here, put these back on before your fingers freeze."

"It's snow!" Roger squealed holding up a snowball. Perhaps he only took his gloves off to confirm the snow's touch as he had no other way of seeing it before. "It's snow!" Roger repeated. He wore a grin from ear to ear that was infectious. If snow didn't usually bring with it extra long delays in the tube, I would have challenged him to a snowball fight, but we were running late as is. "I know." I said, taking his hands and slipping the gloves back on for him. "Believe me we'll be seeing so much snow this winter that it'll no longer be a novelty by the spring time."

"But look at it!" Now with the gloves on, Roger picked up a fistful of flurries giggling to himself as they melted into a slush in his hands. "Do you see this? It's snow! Snow! I see snow! I SEE SNOW!"

A passerby gave us a funny look, but Roger didn't seem to notice. "It's his first time seeing snow." I stated. Why did I have to justify this to others? Roger deserved to experience the world without people passing judgement. Oblivious to the man's confusion, Roger exclaimed, "I'm a snow virgin!" The stranger shrugged and made his way down the crosswalk. "Not a real virgin." Roger snickered. "Just a snow virgin."

"Yes, I definitely needed that clarification." I said sarcastically. I kissed the side of his head as he stared down at the snow in childlike wonder. "C'mon. Let's go. We'll see more snow along the way."

"I love snow." Roger declared as he stood back up. "How can you not love snow?"

I could think of a few reasons, but I didn't want to spoil his good mood and put an end to that pretty smile. "Snow is fun." I agreed.

"The only fun I ever had was when it snowed." Roger reminisced."There was a lake not far from our school and every winter we'd take field trips there and skate. Then we would build snowmen. Only I purposefully never gave mine any eyes. Waste of perfectly good buttons in my opinion."

I wondered if Roger would change this tactic now that his eyes were working. Later I would have to build a snowman with him and help him relive all those childhood memories. I was glad to learn that not everything in Roger's life prior to moving in with John had been so bleak. Going to a special school for the blind that was intent on giving him a normal adolescent experience really helped bring some light into his dark world.

"Whenever I came home and told Mom about my adventures she would throw a fit. 'What if you stepped on thin ice and fell in?' 'What if you slipped and broke something!' 'How could they let you do that?'." He mimicked Winifred's shrilly voice. "The joke's on her 'cause she signed the permission slip."

I knew Roger wasn't capable of forging a permission slip at the time, but I didn't put the idea past him. As if he could read my mind he clarified "I hid it with Clare's school forms which she'd sign without even reading. It fooled her each and every time."

"Oh Roger." I laughed. "You've always been a sneaky little thing haven't you?"

"You know in hindsight, I kinda get why she was so upset. It's not the best idea to have about a dozen or so blind kids clumsily skating on a frozen lake." Roger reflected. "The school staff reasoned that learning to skate would help us with our balance and give us more confidence. Obviously it didn't work because I'm anything but graceful."

Well aware of how often he tripped, I couldn't argue with that. Roger was many things, but graceful was not one of them. "Well the important thing is you had some fun. Heaven knows you deserved it."

"Michael wouldn't agree with you." Roger sighed.

"Michael is rotting in a prison cell where he belongs." I scoffed. Roger didn't say anything so I knew his tormentor was still on his mind. "You know after work, we should play in the snow. Maybe build a snowman in the courtyard?" I suggested.

"Ohh! Yes! Yes! Can we? Please, please please!" I didn't realize the monster I unleashed until Roger started singing_ Do You Want to Build a Snowman _from Frozen, his voice echoing across the underground walls of the station as we rushed to catch the train. "..._I always see you ever more. Come out the door. It's like the darkness gone away..."_

"I don't remember the lyrics being that relatable." I laughed.

"Relatable to you?" Roger rolled his eyes as we stepped onto the platform. "Close your eyes for 22 years. Then it will be relatable to you. For now it's just relatable to me."

Of course, the train was standing room only when it finally arrived. I held onto the railing and Roger held onto me."I still don't understand why we can't just drive to work." Roger complained.

"Believe it or not, with all the traffic this is actually faster and it's better for the environment." I reminded him.

"Well, when I get my license this will all change." Roger exclaimed. "I'm gonna drive everywhere."

I didn't doubt that, but he'd likely spend more time stuck in traffic than out on the open road like he envisioned.

Thetrain skidded to a stop and that meant Roger and I would be parting ways. It pained me to let my Roggie go out on his own like this, but if I walked him directly to his job every day I'd be no better than Winfred trampling on what little independence he had. Also stubborn Roger simply wouldn't allow it. "_You don't think I'm capable of walking two blocks on my own with perfect vision? I don't need a fucking babysitter. I can get from the station to work and back by myself."_

As the doors opened I gave Roger a chaste goodbye kiss. "Please be careful. It's slippery out there. You could fall so easily. Maybe I should walk you?"

"You sound like my mother. Relax, Brimi. I'll be fine. Now let me go before the doors close." Roger squirmed past the people in his way and stepped out onto the platform. I waved hoping he could see me as the doors shut separating us. We'd been doing this routine for months now but it still hurt nonetheless as the train sped away and my sweet Roger became nothing but a blur in the distance. In the back of my mind, I always feared that phone call telling me that Roger was lost or hurt. So far luck seemed in our favor.

By the time I got to the wildlife preservewhere I worked part time, the snow was falling hard. Hopefully Roger made it to the studio safely. I put aside any human woes I had at the moment as the animals warranted more of my concern. There was always so much to do to help hurt creatures. Even though my focus was mainly on badgers, every day at the preserve was still a busy one. To be honest I preferred my position here over the job I held with the British Space Program. It was more fulfilling in my opinion.

Today I found myself creating an artificial nest for displaced hedgehogs to hibernate. Recent infrastructure expansion left many critters without a home for the winter. We were scrambling to keep them all safe and warm.

"There you go, nice and cozy. It's not the wild, but until we can nurse you back to health it'll have to do." I said gently placing the sleepy hedgehog into the incubator. "Sweet dreams." I cooed.

As soon as those words left my lips, I might as well have jinxed myself because the lights overhead flickered and suddenly went out completely. A scream became audible from my colleagues in the room next door. I rushed to see what was the matter. "Is anyone hurt?" I cried.

"No, but we've lost power!" Someone exclaimed.

Oh no! The snowstorm knocking out the power didn't just make things uncomfortable for us, but all the animals could freeze to death. We had to do something and fast before things got too cold. Thankfully before I could panic any further, the lights returned along with the buzz of the central heating system. Everyone applauded. "That'd be the backup generator. Thank goodness we have one!"

Crisis averted! Luck indeed was in our favor.

***

I was in the middle of feeding a badger with a bottle when my phone rang. Still cradling the badger in one hand, I put down the bottle and answered the phone not bothering to see who was calling. "Hello?"

"Is this Brian May?"

"Speaking."

"You were listed as Roger Taylor's emergency contact."

"Emergency?" It was the only word I heard. "Oh God! Is he okay? What happened?" Why didn't I just walk him to the studio?

"We had a power outage because of the storm." The woman on the other end stated. "Everyone is accounted for except for Roger."

What the hell did that mean? Not accounted for? Was he missing? Was he hurt? "Where is Roger?" I cried.

"We don't know." She said. How was she so calm when my entire world was lost? "Maybe you would know where he is?" She asked. If I did, then I wouldn't be freaking out!

"No. Did he at least get to the studio safely? Has anyone seen him this morning?" That was a good place to start. Maybe Roger had gotten lost on his commute. Something I was partially to blame for because I easily could have walked him.

"Yeah. I saw him about 30 minutes ago." I let out a sigh of relief. Okay, Roger couldn't have gotten far. He was most likely somewhere within the studio. They'd have to find him. He couldn't stay lost forever.

"Where was he 30 minutes ago?" Like any lost thing it was best to retrace your steps. Right? We knew Roger was last seen half an hour ago so we should start there.

"Last I saw him he was looking over the pictures on the camera. But he said something about going down to the dark room to see how the most recent photos were being developed." The girl explained.

Sometimes the simplest solutions worked best. I was starting to feel at ease. "Have you checked the dark room?"

"We're not allowed in there when the power's out. That's one of the rules of established from the new door we got that blocks out all the light. If the electricity goes out, it's pitch black in there. The studio doesn't want to be held liable if someone falls or trips. It's great for developing photos but horrible for convenience. Anyway, we're trying to find flashlights so we can send someone down there to go look for him. In the meantime everyone else has gone home because we can't work without power or heat. I know you're likely a friend or relative of Roger, but I'm pretty pissed at him right now. Because of his great disappearing act I have to stay here and freeze my ass off waiting for him to be found...S-Sorry. That was rude. I didn't mean that. I'm just really cold."

"You listen to me unless Roger is found you have to stay put." I said firmly. "I'm heading over there with a flashlight to look for him myself." I didn't even say goodbye I was so frantic. I hung up the phone.

"Sorry, Mr. Badger, I've got to go. But I'll leave you in good hands." I quickly escorted him to one of my coworkers to take over the task of feeding him. Then I grabbed a flashlight and bolted out on my rescue mission.

I had my theories on what could have happened to Roger, but I didn't want to consider any of them. All I wanted was him safe in my arms again. After what felt like an eternity and one delayed tube ride later, I made it to the photography studio.

It was just as cold inside the building as it was outside. A girl sat miserably bundled and shivering in the lobby.She eyed my flashlight. "T-Took you l-long enough. D-d-dark r-room is downs—s-stairs."

"Roggie I'm coming!" I shouted making my way downstairs. There was no question that the heavy sliding steel door led to the dark room. I could tell absolutely no light could get through it and likely no sound either. So there was a chance my poor Roger was behind there screaming for help with no avail. In a frenzy I heaved the door aside and entered the room only to have it instantaneously slide back into place automatically locking me in what was essentially a catacomb. I might as well be underground or in a vacuum. I couldn't see a thing. Nothing but darkness surrounded me.

If this were a horror movie, I'd be terrified of the sound of someone violently sobbing in the darkness, but in this case I was more comforted than afraid. Roger was here! Yes, he was bawling from the sound of it, but I could deal with that, so long as he was okay. Now I just had to reach him. I took a step forward and tumbled down. There was a step beneath the threshold that I had missed. Damn it! The flashlight slipped from my hand and was now lost somewhere in the unknown void.

"H-Hello?" Roger's shaky voice sniffled. Ah, my poor baby sounded so frightened. I just had to find him. I was about to call out to him when I felt a hand on my face, caressing my forehead and traveling down to my nose, finally tracing my lips. "Brian." Roger identified me and I hadn't even said a word. He hugged me, crying into my shoulder.

"Oh, it's okay, Rog. I'm here. I've got you. Shhh. Shhh. You're okay." I rocked him back and forth in my arms, feeling his chest rise and fall with each heart wrenching sob.

"But I'm not...I'm not okay. I can't see. I lost my sight again."

I had a feeling this would happen. Time would be the only thing that could assuage Roger's fears of going blind again. Of course there were things I could do to avoid these setbacks. For one never turn off the lights without giving him proper warning first. These heartbreaking panic attacks I had witnessed through the months were few and far between and I hoped to continue that decreasing trend. All I could do now was assure him he wasn't blind.

"Sweetheart, it's alright. You're not blind. The power went out. That's all. Your eyes are still working fine."

"I-I can't see." Roger repeated in a heaving wail that shattered my heart.

"Listen to me, honey, you _can. _The lights are out. No one can see. It has nothing to do with your eyes." I explained calmly and slowly. "Now let me just find my flashlight and I'll show you."

"N-No! Don't leave!" Roger yelped clinging to me tighter. "Please! Please don't go!"

"I'm not leaving." I assured him. In an attempt to kiss him, I ended up putting my lips to his nose. Roger was in too much of a panicked daze to notice my blind mistake or if he did he didn't say anything.

"Now I'm going to let you go just for a moment so I can see where I dropped my flashlight." I stated. Only doing that was proving more difficult than I thought. I hissed in pain as I pulled away from Roger's embrace.

"Bri? You sound hurt. Are you hurt?" Roger's voice was steadier. That meant he was coming out of his panic attack.

"I think I sprained my ankle when I fell. I'll be fine." I grunted through the pain in attempt to stand up, but Roger held me down. "Stay here. I'll find your flashlight for you. I heard you drop something when you fell and I think I know where it landed."

When I felt the absence of his body heat which I desperately needed in this freezing climate, I was left with a surge of helplessness. Here I was completely alone and unable to see a thing with a sprained ankle making it painful to walk. That was ridiculous though. I knew for a fact I wasn't alone. Just because I couldn't see Roger didn't mean he had left me here to rot. "Rog?" I called.

"Found it!" His voice carried from across the room. How did he get all the way over there so quickly, and how in the world did he manage to find the flashlight in this darkness? I didn't get my answer, instead I got light. Roger screamed as the room became illuminated by the flashlight in his hands.

"I see light!" He shouted and I made out tears in those beautiful blue eyes that I had been deprived of seeing. Roger laughed grasping at the beams of light in front of him as if they were tangible. "I see light!"

I winced in another attempt to stand on my sore ankle to get to him. "Brian, no! Don't move! I'm coming!" Roger rushed over to me. "I've got you." He exclaimed crouching down and resting the flashlight on the floor beside us. Then he put his arms around my waist and tugged. Wait...

"A-Are you trying to pick me up?" I snickered.

"You can't walk. How else am I going to get you out of here and to the hospital?"

"Hospital?" I cried. "Rog, it's just a sprain. Nothing too serious. I'm supposed to be the one rescuing you, aren't I?" Some hero I was turning out to be. "Besides," I sighed, "how do you expect to carry me?"

"Well um you're able to carry me." Roger tried to justify. "It must not be that hard, right? I'm pretty strong." I admired how much he wanted to help, but this was amusing.

"Here, I've got a better idea." I put my arm around his shoulder. "Let me lean on you, alright?" I bit down on my tongue to avoid screaming in pain as I managed to pull myself up using Roger's weight to support myself.

"I don't like this." Roger murmured. "You shouldn't be on your feet if it hurts this much. What if you broke something?"

"I'm alright." I lied. "Let's just get out of here and go someplace warm even if it is a hospital." It was probably wise to get my ankle checked out by a doctor sooner than later in case it was something more serious.

With Roger's help, I was able to limp forward and even get over that blasted step that had caused the fall. "Careful! Careful! Slow! Go Slow!" Never thought I'd hear Roger Taylor say those words, but I welcomed his concern nonetheless. It was very sweet to have him taking care of me like this. I wasn't used to being the one in need of guidance, but I was glad to know that Roger was capable of coming to my aid if needed. He saw me to the hospital and stayed by my side while I got treated for the injury. If anything coming out of this experience I now loved him more than I had before, if that were even possible.

Roger squeezed my hand refusing to let it go as my ankle was securely wrapped and elevated. His face had gone pale. I knew how he felt about hospitals so this must not be an easy task for him.

"Nothing too serious, just a sprain." The doctor confirmed. "Leave the wrap on and keep off it for the next few days and you should be fine. I'll go print your discharge papers."

"See, Rog? I'm okay thanks to you." I brought his hand to my lips affectionately. He nodded shakily. "Yeah I do see."

"Everything's going to be alright." I promised. "You took good care of me, baby. I still cant believe the way you were able to find my flashlight and maneuver so well in the darkness. I could never do what you do." I offered Roger a warm smile and that seemed to settle his nerves.

"I was so scared." He whispered blinking back more tears. "I really thought I was blind again."

"But you were still able to save me." I reminded him.

"When I heard you in pain...I guess my fight or flight kicked in. I wasn't afraid anymore. It didn't matter that I thought I might never see you again, I just had to help you so you wouldn't be in anymore pain. I know you'd do the same for me in a heartbeat." Roger kissed my lips. "I love you, Brian."

"I love you too, so much." I replied. "But promise me no more scares for a while, okay? I think we've both had enough."

Tentatively, Roger spread himself down on the bed, and rested with his head beneath my chin and his arms wrapped snugly around my chest. "There are mornings I wake up terrified that my world will all go black without warning." He admitted. "Then I see you and I know I'm safe. You keep the darkness away, Bri, and I love you all the more for it."

That brief moment of getting lost in the void was just a snippet of what Roger had gone through his entire life. Yet, in that moment he was my light. I had felt alone and vulnerable when he left me even if it was just to retrieve the flashlight. I couldn't have gotten out of the dark room without Roger.

You could say there was some poetry to us, and it confirmed that we were soulmates after all. In the light, I was Roger's guide, but in the dark I was the one who relied upon him.

"I need you just as much as you need me." I said, pulling him closer. How did I ever get by all these years before without my Roggie?


	17. Let Them Eat Cake🍰

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie invites Roger over to sample wedding cakes...blindly.

_Roger's POV_

I felt so guilty. If I hadn't let my fears get the best of me then Brian wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed with a sprained ankle right now. Speaking of fears, I could now add Brian getting hurt to that list. Yet I was shedding more tears than him and he was the one in pain. Why was I such a coward?

_"_I should be discharged soon." Brian sighed. "I wonder what's taking them so long."

A soft gurgling sound made me laugh and boy did it feel good to laugh after all this drama. "Was that my stomach or yours?" I wondered. Neither of us had had lunch so I wasn't sure. Either way I needed food ASAP. "Don't they have a cafeteria downstairs? I'll see if they have anything vegan."

"Vegan options at a hospital cafeteria?" Brian asked skeptically. "Hospitals are supposed to help you feel better but not through the food unfortunately. I'll wait till I get home to eat."

"Well I want to help any way I can." I insisted. "After all I'm the reason why you're here and hurt to begin with."

"Oh, Rog, don't say that. This isn't your fault. In fact, you saved me, remember? And it's just a sprained ankle. I've had worse. I'll be up and walking again in a matter of days." Brian reassured me.

"Just let me do this one thing for you. I'll be back with food hopefully vegan." Before Brian could protest I gave him a chaste kiss and went on my way.

It was also a matter of pride. I wanted to prove that I could do things on my own and I could offer something in this relationship. I loved it when Brian was so patient and caring with me, but I didn't want him to think that it was all one-sided. Even if it was something as simple as picking him up a veggie salad sandwich, I wanted to show Brian that I was capable of tending to him if need be.

_'Let him take care of you. You'd still be worthless without him and even now you're still not capable of much. You might as well listen to Mom and sit around and do nothing all day long 'cause that's all you're good for.' _It was difficult to silence that insidious voice in the back of my head although I was moving forward in gaining more confidence. "I'm not useless." I murmured to myself. Self affirmations were usually empowering, but in this case my internal pep-talk was ineffective when I found myself lost. "Fuck!" All the hallways looked exactly the same. What floor was I on again? Did I even bother to read the numbers as I was going down the stairs? Where was the cafeteria? How could I get back to Brian's room? "I never should have left him." I sighed. _'Eventually he'll grow tired of you. You're too dependent on him. He'll get sick of it over time. How can he not? Constantly caring for you is exhausting and it even got him injured.'_

"Roger?" The familiar posh voice called out putting a temporary end to the cycle of negative thoughts. Sure enough Freddie was poised in the middle of the hallway looking starkly out of place in a dreary hospital grinning obliviously while holding two balloons.

"Freddie?" I gasped. "What are you doing here, mate?"

"What are _you_ doing here, dear?"

"I asked you first." I prompted. 

"I'm here for Deaky of course. Why else would I be here? Today is gender day!" Freddie announced. "If it's a girl I'll pop the blue balloon and present them with the pink one. If it's a boy, vice versa. Jim is on standby. He'll be brining either pink or blue flowers."

I frowned. "John said they didn't want a gender reveal party or anything like that."

"Yes. Believe me, darling, I know more than anyone that gender is nothing more than a social construct, but that doesn't mean we can't celebrate with fun colors just for the hell of it. What do you think it'll be, Roger, blue or pink? Pink or blue? Oh I can hardly wait! I wish I was allowed in the room while they're doing the ultrasound."

"Umm, that PC stuff is not the reason why they're not doing a gender reveal." I informed him. "I thought Deaky would have told you, but I guess he just didn't want to upset you."

"Upset me? What are you talking about? My creampuff could never ever upset me." Freddie exclaimed.

I sighed. Should I sugarcoat this? John had trusted me with the truth probably because I could relate. I'd attempt to relay it to Freddie now even if John didn't want him knowing. "Boy or girl, Deaky and Ronnie just want a healthy baby. After the whole pregnancy-gate at the wedding where I accidentally spilled the tea to everyone, they're trying to be very conservative so they don't jinx themselves. That means no gender reveal party, no baby showers, and they're only buying one or two things for the baby before it's born just in case..."

"In case what?" Freddie asked.

Dare I say it. "In case she miscarries or something bad happens." I whispered.

"Shit. No, that won't happen. That would be heartbreaking." Freddie lamented. "We all just want a healthy baby and that's what we'll get. A healthy happy little creampuff."

"Well my parents didn't celebrate until Clare was actually born because they were so scared they'd have another sick baby spending its formative years in the ICU like me." I explained. "It worked out for them. Clare was perfect. And Deaky's baby will be perfect as well God willing."

"Well now I feel like an ass for trying to pressure Ronnie into a baby shower." Freddie sighed. "I already bought all the gifts that I will not be returning. All the cutest little onesies in a rainbow of colors. I'll just have to present them on the baby's birthday once we know that our perfect baby creampuff is with us and well."

"I have a feeling everything will work out and we'll be welcoming a healthy little one into this world soon." I said. "He or she won't have to go through what I went through."

"You know Roger, the past is important, but if you reflect on it too much you'll miss out on the present and the future. You can determine things now and going forward, but not in the past unfortunately. I'm still waiting for that time machine from Brian." Freddie remarked.

"That is surprisingly good advice." I nodded. Too much of my mind was still stuck in that dark world, focused on what I was incapable of in the doing in the past instead of all the possibilities I had in front of me now.

"I've been known to say smart things every now and then if you care to listen." He laughed. "What I mean to say is that I'm sorry you were very ill for the first years of your life and that caused your blindness. I know I had nothing to do with it, but I cannot express how sorry I am that you had to face so much tragedy, darling. But now is your chance to start anew, and you should really take advantage and try your best to move on. Second chances are hard to come by."

Suddenly, one of the doors to the examination rooms opened and Deaky came rushing out. "It's a boy!" He shrieked. "I'm having a baby boy!" He waved a picture in the air.

Freddie popped the pink balloon and handed his brother a blue one. Only there was no excited screams or anything like that. "Healthy?" That was the first thing Freddie asked.

"Yes. Healthy. Everything looks good." Deaky showed off the picture which looked like nothing more than abstract globs to me, but apparently it was the ultrasound. I examined it as Freddie broke into a cheer. "Congratulations, John!" I exclaimed. "You're going to be such a good dad." And I meant that. Deaky had so much love in his heart. He may be young, but he was ready to be a father.

"Thanks, Roger." He replied. "By the way, what are you doing here? Did Freddie invite you?"

"Oh you never did tell me. What are you doing here?" Freddie inquired.

"Oh shit I forgot about Brian!" I cried. "I need to go get food...vegan food."

"Um...you're in a hospital, specifically on the maternity floor. You won't be finding much vegan options here." Deaky chuckled.

I went into a quick explanation on how I had ended up here--the lights going out and my panic attack, and Brian tripping on the stairs trying to save me. "So now I need to find the cafeteria so I can bring Bri a vegan lunch because we're both hungry or at least I am." I summed up.

"Oh Roger, you poor thing. That must have been so traumatizing for you thinking you'd gone blind again. I can only imagine." Deaky said gently.

Great, now I had John's pity. I was back to being functionless and night as well still be in the dark. "Yeah well I should just get over it." I said bitterly. "Right, Freddie?"

"No, darling, I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was try to look on the bright side...literally in your case. How's the driving thing going?"

The thought of cars and soon getting my license normally would bring a smile to my face. Now I was just reminder of the roadblock I recently hit. "I can't sit for the exam at the moment. They won't let me when I'm on file as legally blind."

"Legally blonde?" Freddie exclaimed. "I love that movie! The only thing that would make it better is if Elle's little sidekick was a cat instead of a dog but other than that it's a great film."

"Roger, you can fix that." John ignored Freddie's movie critique. "All you have to do is go to the eye doctor. Taking an eye exam will prove you're not blind anymore."

Brian was willing to book me an appointment anytime, but I kept putting it off by being "busy". I'd rather not drive than have to face the inevitable truth. That's how much it scared me.

"Roger, what's the matter?" Freddie asked.

"What if the doctor says that this is temporary? My vision may be nothing more than a freak accident. I could be on borrowed time. In a year from now, I could wake up and not see a thing."This fear always became more prominent after a scare like the one in the dark room, but the possibility of going blind again always seemed to lurk.

A nurse poked her head out the door. "Dad," she addressed John, "Mom wants you back in here."

Deaky cringed. "I told you not to refer to us as Mom and Dad. It's bad luck and kinda creepy._"_

"I suppose calling you Dad is better than Daddy." Freddie laughed.

"Ew! No!" Deaky recoiled. "The only one calling me Daddy is my son. I don't even let Ronnie call me that. I've got to go get back to Ronnie."

"Wait John don't forget your picture." I gave him back the ultrasound image.

"Thanks, Rog. Listen you're going to be fine. Book that eye appointment and move forward in getting your license. Don't let your fears get the best of you."

"I want a copy of Freddie Jr's picture." Freddie requested.

"We're naming him Robert." Deaky blurted and disappeared back into the room before Freddie could get angry.

"I guess there's only room in this family for one Freddie." He shook his head disappointedly.

"One is more than enough." I replied.

"You should heed our advice, darling. Especially if you believe you could go blind again at any moment. You should live life to its fullest. So what if your eyesight is conditional? You can see now. That's all that matters."

I knew Freddie was trying to help but he was only making matters worse. "Conditional on what?"

"On Brian of course. Isn't that how it works? You stop seeing in color if your soulmate dies."

By that logic, if losing Brian wasn't already unimaginable enough, my sight would leave with him. "H-He can't die." My vision suddenly blurred as if to taunt me and I screamed only to realize it was the result of my eyes welling with tears. Shit!

"Oh, darling, please don't cry. Every night's a party at Melina's mansion. Do you want a hug?" Before I could answer Freddie wrapped his arms around me. "Shh. Darling, it's going to be alright. Don't you dare cry."

"I need to get a hold of myself." I sniffled. "I'm like a little kid terrified of the dark." I never understood that cliche fear every child seemed to go through at one point in their lives, but man did I get it now. The horror of the darkness was crippling for me.

"I think I know what the solution to all of your problems is." Freddie proclaimed.

"I don't think a cat can solve this one, Fred."

"Obviously cats make everything better," he acknowledged, "but I had something a bit different in mind. Now I'm no expert in psychology, but there might be a way to train your brain to no longer fear darkness. Try associating it with something pleasurable like having sex with blindfolds."

"It wouldn't be pleasurable if all I'm thinking about is how scared I am that when I remove the blindfold I still won't see. Kinda takes me out of the mood." I murmured.

Freddie click his tongue disapprovingly. "Your thoughts shouldn't be that coherent during sex. I need to have a talk with Brian. He must be doing something wrong if you're able to focus on other things like that while in the bedroom.

"Freddie, please don't meddle in our sex life!" I shrieked.

"Well excuse me for trying to help you overcome your fears." He wailed dramatically. I shook my head. Freddie was just too much sometimes, but then again so was I.

"You know Jim and I are having a blind cake taste test. You should join us." He offered.

I was skeptical of anything with the word "blind" in it. "What's a blind cake taste test?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. We eat cake while blindfolded." Freddie clarified. "What could be better?"

"Eating cake with sight. Doing anything with sight. Why the bloody hell do seeing people wanna be blindfolded anyway? There's no purpose for it." I ranted.

"I want a funfetti wedding cake and Jim agrees with me." Freddie explained.

"So what's the problem?" I asked.

"I know that Jim is only agreeing with me to be polite. So we're holding a blind taste test so I can find out what cake he really wants. Joe's gonna bake a whole bunch of different cakes and we'll try them all and decide based on taste alone. It's the only way to reach a proper unbiased decision. It would be a pleasure to have you join us and give your opinion on the cakes we sample. I think the darkness will be less scary if you know you'll be rewarded with cake."

Willingly put on a blindfold? Even if it did lead to cake, I avoided all things that reminded me of the world I used to live in. Maybe it could be a helpful thing though? I wouldn't know unless I tried it. "Okay." I answered hesitantly. "You can count me in. Now I've really got to get back to Brian before he—" As if on cue, my phone rang. I already knew who it was before I picked up.

"Rog, you've been gone too long. What happened? Did you get lost? Do you need help?" Brimi my ever present mother hen hovered. My eyes depended on him, but with the way he watched me 24/7 his eyes may need a break. The cake sampling would at least be an activity that could give Brian some space so he didn't have to be preoccupied worrying about me while he was recovering. One day I'd prove to Brian that he was stressing over nothing and I could care for myself. However, he was correct in this case. I really did get lost and needed help. So I guess today was not that day.

***

"Roger, darling, Joe can't bring out the first cake unless we're all blindfolded." Freddie stated.

"I know." I sighed. I took one last look at a picture of me and Brian I had saved on my phone. I was going to miss seeing his face the most. Why did I agree to that stupid eye doctor appointment next week? I anticipated the worst news. That this was nothing more than a fluke and I'd be blind again by the new year.

"Roger, is your blindfold on?" Freddie asked.

_'Goodbye sight.' _I put the mask over my eyes returning to that dreaded darkness. "It's on."

"Excellent! Joe, my dear, bring in Cake Number 1_."_

I was reliant on the clock system, but when I wasn't at school or home I had to trust my hearing. The sound of Joe placing down the plate and clinking if the cutlery against the marble table. I easily picked up my fork and took a bite of cake without even having to think about it too much. "That's good!...Red Velvet, right?"

"You're not allowed to know which cake is which until you've made your decision on which one you like best." Joe said.

"Hang on, I'm still trying to find the bloody cake. Where is it? Joe, did you even give me a slice?" Freddie cried.

"Are there forks or should we eat it with our hands?" Jim wondered. "I can't find my fork." 

I finished my slice before either of them could take their first bite.

"I have no idea what flavor this is." Freddie announced.

"I don't think it's chocolate...but it's not vanilla either." Jim speculated.

"It's red velvet." I said again.

"Yes...that seems right." Freddie agreed. "How could you_—_Fuck!"

"What happened?" Jim and I asked.

"Piece of cake fell on my lap. Now I'm going to have a stain on my lovely pair of white trousers." He pouted.

"That's okay, love, we knew this would be messy. I'll take you out shopping later." Jim said.

"Oh Jim!" Freddie squealed. "Darling, I'd kiss you if I could find you."

"He's sitting right next to you. How can you not find him?" I cried.

"I have a blindfold on." Freddie stated as Joe cleared the plates.

"Here, I'll come to you, Freddie." Jim said. "Shoot! That's not your mouth. Is it?"

"No dear. You're kissing my ear."

"Amateurs." I snickered.

"Cake Number 2." Joe announced.

"Oh! Yes! This one is funfetti for sure!" I determined on the first bite.

"How are you so good at this?" Freddie exclaimed.

"I fancy this one." Jim remarked. "Why don't we just have funfetti? We both like it after all."

"You're not just agreeing with me to make me happy?" Freddie asked.

"No that's ridiculous!" Jim exclaimed. "I'm not settling for something I don't like when it comes to my own wedding cake. I'm always honest with you, Freddie. You know that."

"You're too good for me." Freddie cooed. "Funfetti it is!"

"But I baked so many cakes. You only tried 2 of them."Joe cried.

"Yes and we'll try the rest without these blasted blindfolds._" _The moment Freddie said that I tore mine off. Light glorious light! I applauded it.

"See, Roggie, now was that really so bad?" Freddie asked gently.

"I do see." I replied.

I needed to see that picture of me and Brian again. When I examined my phone, a text message popped up.

**_Clare_**💙**_: _**_OMG! Mom found her soulmate. Call me ASAP!_

Did I read that right? I handed the phone to Freddie to have him read it to me. I trusted his eyes more than mine.

"Aww that's so precious that you have a heart next to your sister's name saved in your contacts." Freddie noted. Instead of reading the message, Freddie entered the private brothers' group chat he had added me to a while ago which was dubbed Queen.

**_Queen_**👑  
_Members:_  
**_Me _**🚗  
**_Brian _**👀😍  
**_John _**☺️

**_Freddie_**😺

"Look at you using emojis in the cutest way possible. You certainly couldn't do that with your old flip phone, now could you, darling? My new eyed baby is growing up so fast." Freddie laughed and shot out a text from my phone without my permission.

**_Me _**🚗**_: _**_MY DARLINGS! I have Roger's phone and OMG Roger has us all assigned to emojis on his phone and it's so adorable._😍_I'm a cat so that means he loves me best. Sorry Brian_😝

Within seconds a text bubble appeared and Brian texted back.

**_Brian _**👀😍**_: _**_I let you have my Roggie for a day and you hack his phone. You better not be holding him hostage, Freddie. Don't make me break into Garden Lodge to get him back. -Bri_

"Tell him I'm okay!" I shouted. Freddie rolled his eyes.

**_Me _**🚗**_: _**_No need for you to break in darling. You have keys remember? I'm taking good care of Rog. He says hi._

**_Brian_**👀😍**_: _**_Play nice Freddie. Give Roger his phone back. -Bri_

**_John_**☺️**_: _**_Hi Roger! I hope you get your phone back soon._

**_Me_**🚗**_: _**_ILY_😘😘😘_ My baby Deaky! Baby Creampuff Robert is coming soon!!!_😭❤️

**_John_**☺️**_: _**😳

"Okay I think that's enough." I took back my phone.

**Me**🚗**: **_I'm back! Guess what my Mom found her soulmate!!!_

**_Brian_**👀😍**_: _**_Roger? -Bri_

**_John_**☺️**_: _**_Don't worry Roger. He'll treat her right and won't be like Michael at all. But you have our support if things go sour_❤️

**_Brian _**👀😍**_: _**_Do I still need to go to Garden Lodge to rescue you from Freddie? -Bri_

"I cannot believe him!" Freddie cried. "Does he have no trust in me at all?"

**_Freddie_**😺**_: _**_Roger is happy and safe. I'm feeding him cake. Jim's here too and he would never let anything bad happen. If you don't trust me at least trust Jim because he's the best thing that ever happened to me!_

Freddie looked over at Jim and smiled. Then he texted something.

**_Jim_**🌻**_ has been added to Queen_**👑

Jim gasped. "I thought you said I wasn't allowed in your brothers' group chat until we were married."

Freddie shrugged. "I let Roger in, so you deserve it too."

**_Jim_**🌻**_: _**_I'm honored._

**_Brian_**👀😍**_: _**_Welcome Jim! -Bri_

**_John_**☺️******_: _**_It's about time!_

**_Brian_**👀😍**_: _**_Is Roger really ok? -Bri_

I loved him but he was such a worry wart sometimes.

**_Me_**🚗**_: _**_I'm perfect! I have to call Clare now to find out about Mom's soulmate. I'll see you at home_😘

**_Brian_**👀😍**_: _**_I'll SEE you at home baby_💕_ -Bri_

Mom's soulmate could be Michael 2.0. I had to mentally prepare myself for something like that. But no matter what I'd be seeing Brian later at home. I called Clare praying for the best outcome.

"Oh Roger! I can't believe it! He actually seems like a nice bloke. They met through that dating app for soulmates. She had two other dates before him. They met in person, shook hands, and nothing happened, but three times the charm. This man's the one. He already invited Mom to move in with him and his three cats even though they just met a few hours ago and he'll support us financially. It's great!"

It almost sounded too good to be true. "Have you met him yet? What's his name?"

"I haven't met him yet. His name is Will Smith."

"Wait. The actor Will Smith?" I cried. "He already married his soulmate and has kids with her."

"The name's more common than you think. It's not the actor." She clarified. "I'm not sure what he does for a living. But get this he knows your friend Freddie. Freddie was the one who set up his account on the dating app."

I turned to Freddie. "You know my Mom's soulmate. His name is Will Smith but he's not the actor. You got him on the soulmate dating app."

"Ooooh, you mean dear William and his precious three cats. I thought for sure he was gay and the algorithm would match him with another man. Jim, darling, how can you love me when my gaydar is broken?"

"Everything else about you makes up for your broken gaydar." Jim replied and Freddie blushed.

"So Winifred and William." Freddie mused. "Willifred. I ship it!"

"Will invited the two of us to go to the Christmas tree farm with him and Mom." Clare said. "Do you and Brian have a Christmas tree yet?"

"Mom's okay with me going there?" I asked skeptically.

'_Why would we bother taking you to the farm when you'll just get lost and cause trouble, and you can't even see the bloody trees so there's no point!'_

_'Your father's right, dear. All that snow and ice out there. What if you slip and hurt yourself? We need to focus on finding the best tree. So we can't be busy watching you. You'll be much safer at home.'_

"Things are different now, Roger. Mom's turning a new leaf. Michael's out of our lives." Clare insisted. "Of course you're coming with us, and Brian is welcomed too. You two can look for your Christmas tree if you haven't gotten one yet."

The only Christmas tree I had ever laid functional eyes on was the one standing brilliantly in the corner of Garden Lodge now. Since it was daytime none of the lights were on, but I was sure it'd be a dazzling spectacle I'd never forget. I could only imagine a field full of trees just like this one all sparkling and lit up. Childhood memories came rushing back, asking anyone around if the lights on our tree were working, praying that by some Christmas miracle I could at least catch a glimpse. Sight was at the top of every list I wrote to Santa each year. 

_'Ha. Stupid boy. Do I have to tell you this every year? Santa doesn't read Braille. He gets too many requests as is from all the other kids who can actually see and appreciate the toys they receive. Isn't that right, Clare?' _

_'Santa reads everyone's letters, Daddy. You have to send Roger's letter along with mine.' _

_'Nah, both of you kids are naughty. You don't deserve any presents. These letters are going to the trash instead of the North Pole. Roger just wants a bunch of dots, and you have some fucking nerve asking for a pony. I can't afford that shit. Now both of you go to your room and don't come out until your mother is done cooking us dinner, you little ingrates!' _

Needless to say, I didn't get what I wanted that year, but at least Clare got a Barbie doll. I had my vision now, but she was still waiting for that pony...

"Things are different now." I agreed. "I'll let you know if Bri wants to come with us." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK how to end this chapter. Sorry. Next chapter: Roger's trip to the ophthalmologist. And later the Christmas tree farm! Stay tuned...


	18. I Love you so Near; I Love you so Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger goes to the eye doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing too special about this chapter. Just short sweet slice of life about Roger going to the eye doctor and Brian being a supportive fiancé. We stan!

I had been to more ophthalmologists than I could count over the years, but this might as well be my very first time at an eye doctor's office. I figured I'd be more at ease actually seeing the medical equipment of Dr. Swartzman. However, the tools on the tray all appeared rather foreboding. I took Brian's hand apprehensively as we approached the examination room.

"Roger Taylor?" Dr. Swartzman gasped in her familiar voice. I wasn't at all surprised by how shocked she was to see me look directly back at her. After the last specialist she recommended couldn't do anything for my eyes, I cursed at her in frustration and gave up on ophthalmologists altogether. Obviously it wasn't Dr. Swartzman fault that no doctor could cure me, but I had taken it out on her unfairly. That was about five years ago...

"I thought it was you on my appointment list, but I could have been wrong. You swore you'd never come back to me after Dr. Thompson was unable to help you. I haven't seen you in years!" She exclaimed.

"I haven't seen you at all." I blurted. I extended my hand. "Hi. I'm Roger Taylor. I'm here for an eye exam."

"Yes, yes. Of course I know who you are, silly. I've only been treating you since you were a child. I promised I'd never give up on you even though you gave up on me. Rightfully so. I should have done more and reached out to other specialists. But it looks like...Oh goodness I'm afraid to say it...Roger, can you see?" There were tears in Dr. Swartzman's eyes and when I nodded in return, she hugged me. "I knew one day you'd find a breakthru! I prayed for you, Roger. It was torturous knowing I couldn't do anything to help you even when outside sources and all the specialists I recommended failed as well."

"You did all you could. You're a great doctor." I reassured her. "Only doctor who didn't give up on me as a matter of fact."

"What about the miracle doctor who made this possible? Must be a brilliant person and team who pulled this off." She marveled at my new eyes.

I smirked glancing back at Brian standing awkwardly in the doorway. "This is Dr. May. He's to thank for my vision."

"I-I'm not that kind of doctor." Brian stammered humbly.

"Dr. May, I need to pick your brain. We've been trying everything to restore Roger's sight for nearly two decades. How did you do it?" Dr. Swartzman proclaimed eagerly. "Retinal surgery? Or perhaps you--"

"--He kissed me!" I announced. "Like magic!"

Brian blushed. "Soulmates." He stated. I held up my engagement ring.

"Ohhh. My, that's such a beautiful story. You make a lovely couple." She cooed, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Now when it comes to your eye exam, I will have to do a color check to see if your cones have been properly activated for formality purposes, but of course since you've met your soulmate, not only do you see, but you see in color. Correct?"

"Correct." I beamed.

"I'm so happy for you, Roger. Really." Dr. Swartzman composed herself and pulled down some sort of chart. "Have you learned to recognize letters and numbers yet? I have one with shapes for my very young patients who can't read."

"I've learned." I announced proudly. "You're doing so well." Brian whispered, giving me a supportive kiss on my cheek.

"Good. Okay Roger, this is just a very basic test. I need you stand right here and read the top line of the chart." The doctor instructed.

I squinted. "Ummm..." I took a few steps closer and the image became less fuzzy. It was nothing more than a jumble of random letters and numbers. "EFP7." I read.

"Could you maybe take some more steps back and try reading it from where you were standing before?" She asked.

I panicked. I knew there was something wrong with my eyes. "I can't see it from any further away. It's blurry." I admitted. "Is that bad?"

"No, not all. It just means you're incredibly nearsighted and you'll need glasses. Now if you sit down right here, I'll have you look into multiple lenses and you'll tell me whether or not they're blurry. Understand?" Dr. Swartzman guided me to the chair.

"Rog, why didn't you tell me things were blurry? I could've brought you here a lot sooner." Brian said.

"I-I didn't know." As Dr. Swartzman prepared the lenses I looked back at the chart that was impossible to read from so far away. I thought that was how vision worked. You see everything you can within your range and then move closer and things shift into focus. Apparently not. "Can you read that chart from here, Bri?" He stunned me by reading well beyond the first and largest line.

"Soon you'll be able to read it from here, too." Brian promised. "You'll look so cute in glasses."

"Hopefully. My looks are all I've got going for me. Do you think I can still be a model with glasses?" I better be able to keep my job. Modeling was the only thing I'm good at.

"Roger, you know I love you for so much more than just your looks. Even still you could wear potato sacks and dye your hair green and you'd still be a cutie that any modeling company would be lucky to have." Brian exclaimed. "Maybe these new glasses will help you see yourself in better light because you're so beautiful. Besides if it's really a problem, which I doubt it will be, you could always wear contacts."

"Roger, I need you to look into this lens for me." Dr. Swartzman instructed. "Can you see?"

"Yeah I can see." I squinted at the foggy image taking up my vision. I couldn't make anything out.

"Excellent. Can you read the card for me please?"

"It's all a blur." I admitted.

"Right." She sighed. "Um let me rephrase my first question. I know you can see, but can you see well?"

"No, it's all fuzzy like I'm looking through a thick window that doesn't let me see out." I explained.

"Is this any better?" Dr. Swartzman changed the lens but it didn't make any difference. We went through about 39 different lenses until I could see clearly and read the letters and numbers on the card.

"I think we've found your prescription!" She announced.

Of course since I wasn't the average patient, Dr. Swartzman insisted on some more tests including light sensitivity, pupil dilation, and the infamous color test most people failed. Brian and I both passed confirming what we already knew.

"Alright, everything is looking good m. You can pick out frames, and your new glasses will be ready within an hour." Dr. Swartzman announced.

"That's it?" I asked. "I'm all set?"

"You're all set, Roger. Soon you'll be seeing even better than you do now."

"So I'm not legally blind anymore? My vision is here to stay?" I confirmed.

"I'm afraid you're extremely nearsighted, but that's very common. Your eyes are healthy and should stay that way. Glasses will correct your poor vision and you'll have nothing to worry about." She reassured me.

"See, honey, what did I tell you? There was no need to be afraid. Your new eyes are here to stay." Brian said. Why was he always right? "Because of you, Dr. May." I reminded him.

***

I wasn't expecting the glasses to make a difference. Seeing was seeing. Then I put them on and my entire world changed. I was no longer confined to a small bubble of vision, the rest of my surroundings were no longer a blur. I could see such far distances away. I hadn't known that was possible. Even things up close were more detailed than before. If I had to I could count each individual curl on Brian's head. It was such a stark contrast from the darkness I had grown accustomed to for all those years. I never wanted to go back to those days.

"Well?" Brian asked.

"Why didn't you tell me I had bubble vision before?" I cried. 

"How was I supposed to know? You said yourself you didn't even know." Brian laughed. I could see so sharply as his jaw moved up and down. I reached up and touched his face in confirmation that everything was still the same. "Hazel." I cooed. "Blue." He responded. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we'll get more from Brian's POV and go to the Christmas tree farm. More of a plot. This was just fluff, but that's okay. I like fluff. I hope you do too. Now I've got school work to do. Boo! Until next time folks!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Roger visit the Christmas tree farm and meet Will not the actor Smith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Professor: *passing back quizzes*  
Me: I probably failed because I have done 0 work this semester.  
Professor: Great job, Beth! Keep doing what you're doing! *Perfect Score*  
Me: Surprise Pikachu face.
> 
> Seriously how the fuck is that possible? This past week in his class I've literally written the Phantom of the Opera AU while pretending to be taking notes. But if he wants me to keep doing what I'm doing I might as well update the Blind AU...

_Brian's POV_

"I don't think I've ever seen this many trees in my life." Roger looked around in wonder as we stumbled down the icy path. "How do we know which one to pick?"

"Small enough for us to bring home and fit in our flat, but sturdy enough to hold all our decorations." I doubt he heard a word I said because he was so mesmerized by the sight of the snow covered Christmas trees surrounding us. The bitter cold wasn't as dreadful as usual as we made our way to the decorated barn house and cocoa station where we'd be meeting Roger's family. Snow had stopped falling but it was still on the ground and showed no signs of melting. Regardless of the weather, I was completely distracted due to a certain somebody who was in awe.

For what seemed like the hundredth time since we arrived, I had to stop Roger from meandering off the beaten path and into the endless rows of tress where he could easily get lost. I was the one recovering from a sprained ankle, but I found myself preoccupied with Roger's every step, fretting he'd trip or slip on the ice. "Eyes on the ground, love. There's lots of snow and many obstacles around."

"But Briii," He wined, "why would I waste my time looking at the ground when there's so many other things to see!Can we explore the trees? Please, please, please!" I couldn't resist those puppy dog eyes and we both knew it.

"Later." I promised. "First we have to meet your folks at the cocoa station inside. They're probably waiting for us. Don't you want to meet Will not the actor Smith?"

"Not really." Roger humphed. "I'd rather spend my afternoon here with just you."

I understood his hesitation. Neither of us wanted to be disappointed by the possibility of another Michael. "It'll be warm in there, and you can have all the cocoa you want." I tempted.

"With marshmallows?" Roger perked.

If it wasn't for that cute sparkle in his eye I would have explained to him that marshmallows weren't vegan and were actually derived from the collagen of animals like cows, pigs, and horses. Needless to say I wouldn't be having any, but I didn't want to be a buzzkill for Roger.

In the main farmhouse we were greeted by an affable woman. "Hello welcome to Rhye Farms. Are you here to shop, tour, or just sip some of our speciality cocoa and enjoy the scenery?"

"Umm all of the above." I answered.

"You've never been good at multiple choice, huh, Brian?" I knew that voice. Professor Smith sat in one of the recliners sipping a cup of cocoa. He had his arm around Winifred and Clare sat across from them. Oh shit! That could only mean one thing, Professor Smith was Will Smith.

"Roger, Brian! Hello, hello!" Winnifred called. "This is my soulmate, William."****

"You're Will Smith!" Roger gasped.

"William. Don't get me confused with the actor." He corrected. "Winnie, dearest, why didn't you tell me your son was Brian May's boyfriend? We've already met. In fact Dr. May is a former student of mine and I'm friends with his brothers. You know that Freddie set me up on the dating app where I found you, sweetheart, and John is my favorite student."

"Small world." Winifred remarked. "I thought I told you Roger was friends with Freddie through his boyfriend, Brian."

This couldn't be happening.Of all the people in the world it had to be Professor Smith. Why? Why? Why?

"I'm not Brian's boyfriend anymore." Roger's announcement shocked me out of despair. Okay there were worse things than having Professor Smith join our family. I could think of very few, but Roger publicly breaking up with me in front of Smith definitely topped that list. "W-What are you talking about? Of course we're still together, Rog." Had I been blind to warning signs of trouble in paradise? We weren't perfect, but we were pretty damn close as far as I thought. How could Roger do this to me?

"That's right!" Clare announced away the milk mustache from her frothy drink. "They're not boyfriends anymore. They're husbands...or they're going to be husbands soon."

"Fiancés. The word you're looking for is fiancés, Clare." Roger laughed. He pecked my cheek and wandered off to the cocoa station unaware of my brief misunderstandingand internal crisis.That's right. Roger Taylor was no longer my boyfriend and that was a good thing. Soon he'd be my husband. What a relief! Smith must be getting into my head because he had a habit of making me feel foolish. I certainly felt dumb now. Roger loved me and would never abruptly break my heart in public. I had to get a grip.

"How come I didn't receive a wedding invitation? I am personally offended. Are you trying to exclude me, May?" Smith exclaimed.

_'In an ideal world, yes.' _"No sir of course not. We haven't set a date yet."

"Why not?" He demanded.

Not that it was any of his business, but good question. We promised we'd wait until after Freddie's wedding. Now we were pushing it off until after Robert was born because we didn't want Ronnie going into labour in the middle of the ceremony. It seemed like life was getting in the way of us planning our wedding, but we faced life together like a real married couple. I didn't need to be officially married in order to know that Roger and I would be joined together for the rest of our lives. So there was really no rush.

"When we set a date you'll be the first to know." I said.

"And what if you break up? Will I be the first to know then?" Smith laughed.

"William!" Clare cried.

"I'm joking, I'm joking. Brian gets my sense of humor. Don't you? Hey, remember that time when I accused you of plagiarism and threatened to call the dean and have you expelled. I can't believe you fell for that. The class didn't even require an essay! It was an intro level physics class!"

"I never plagiarized. I do my own honest work." I stood by the truth as I had back then even if it was a prank just to make me cry. Oh how Smith loved to make his students cry.

"Really? Cause I read your books and you mention stars and planets in the solar system but you never once acknowledge their founders. It's like you're trying to take credit for discovering Mars. And I know for a fact that that wasn't your own work." Smith tried to keep a straight face but then burst out laughing.

"Isn't he hilarious?" Winnifred proclaimed.

"I can't even understand Brian's books." Clare admitted. "I would have failed your class, William."

"Ah now look what you've done, Brian, you've made Clare upset." He blamed me. "It's alright, Clare. You're still a smart girl. We can't all be rocket scientists like your brilliant brother-in-law now can we?"

Clare glanced at me apologetically and then nodded. "He is brilliant." She said.

"Most brilliant man I've ever met. Still couldn't get an A, but I digress." Smith went on passive aggressively.

"Is Roger okay over there? He's been gone a long time." Winnifred glanced over to the cocoa station.

Let's see I could either stay here and risk Smith insulting me further or go check on Roger and have him yell at me for not trusting him to be only 39 feet away without someone keeping him out of trouble.****

"Roggie? Is everything alright?" I approached the cocoa bar, inhaling the drool inducing scent of chocolate. Two girls were taking a selfie with Roger as he held up his mug. They giggled and walked away as Roger grinned. What was that all about?

"Bri! What are you doing here? I'm making you a mug. You'll never guess what happened. Those two girls just started fangirling all over me. They recognize me from my modeling pictures. Apparently one of them keeps my picture in her locker at school. I'm a hit with the teenage girls. They told me that they love to play this game called Fuck, Kill, Marry—which seems really stupid because you can fuck the person you marry, hell you can even kill the person you fuck and marry—but anyway they play that game where they choose three people, and I'm usually on the list, and they never choose to kill me. Isn't that great?"

"Ummm..." A group of teenage girls wanted to fuck and marry _my _fiancé. No, I wouldn't put that in the pile of good news. Roger seemed happy enough as a model, but sometimes I wondered if he was ever going to start applying to dental school.

"Here's your cocoa. Dark chocolate with a splash of coconut milk and a touch of cinnamon. No marshmallows. 100% vegan." Roger presented me with the mug.It would be a crime to further inflate his growing ego but... "You're the best!"

"I know I am!" Roger replied conceitedly. He stood up on his tiptoes and planted a soft kiss on my lips. If it wasn't for Smith's presence, I'd be just as chipper as Roger. I suppose I shouldn't be too upset. Smith was just your run-of-the-mill jerk, but he wasn't an evil man like Michael. Winifred would have to deal with Smith's arrogance, but I didn't believe he would ever be physically abusive or hurtful.

When we returned, Smith was talking about his cats. I assumed that was the main reason why he and Freddie were so close. "I know I bought that pet friendly detergent and I've been using it when I do our laundry," he sighed, "but it doesn't seem to be helping." Wait. He did their laundry? Maybe Smith was a better man than I thought. "I really need to take J. Robert Oppenheimer II to the vet before that rash on his anus gets any worse or spreads to Mittens and Misty."

Roger snickered like a middle schooler when Smith said the word anus earning a glare in return. "You're no better than my astronomy students when we talk about Uranus." Smith groaned. That only got Roger to laugh even harder and Clare joined in as well.

"He means the planet." I assumed.

"Of course I mean the planet, Brian! The #MeToo movement would cancel me if I wasn't talking about the planet. You can't be too careful these days. Gotta leave my door wide open during office hours and never turn off the lights. I always used to turn off the lights and take a nap during office hours, but now people assume that I'm doing something naughty even if I'm in there alone." Smith shook his head. "Ironic thing is I reported the professor who actually was harassing our female students. I don't stand for that shit. I think rapists should be castrated." He continued to ramble. "Honestly I can't figure out why nobody likes me. Maybe it's because I get pleasure out of giving my students F's and making their lives miserable. But other than that I'm a real peach outside of the classroom."

"Don't be silly, William. I like you. You just think your students should have to work hard for good grades and there's nothing wrong with that. People may not see it but deep down you have a heart of gold." Winifred said taking his hand.

"Yes. I like you, too, sweetheart. You're the only person who understands me aside from my cats. I am so grateful I found you." The couple kissed in a manner that might be considered too passionate for a public area. Somehow I couldn't look away. Oh my God! I couldn't believe I was actually saying this but in some bizarre way they made a cute couple.

Roger's smile faded. "Gross! Mom don't do that in front of us! That is one thing I _don't _want to see."

"Roggie, please be mature. Clare doesn't mind at all." Winifred said. "Isn't that right, honey?"

Clare shrugged. "I just like seeing you happy with someone who treats us with respect."

"Yeah, it's great that you've found a decent guy who doesn't make our lives a living hell, but please don't snog in public. Please." Roger begged.

"Get over it, Roger. If you think kissing is inappropriate, you should see what I do to your mother in private. Let's just say you and Clare won't be the first ones to call me Daddy." Smith bragged.

"That is my mother you're talking about!" Roger cried. "And for the record, Clare and I won't be calling you Daddy anytime soon. You and Mom are only dating."

"Don't be so quick to dismiss our relationship, Roger. We're very serious. You should be nicer to William. Sooner or later he's going to become your stepfather." Winifred stated.

"Yeah, and since Brian is basically your husband, I'll be his new Daddy as well." Smith announced.

"NO!" I shouted without any impulse. I took a deep breath and composed myself. "You know what, Rog, why don't we go shopping for our Christmas tree now?"

"That sounds good." Roger nodded. He finished up his cocoa. "We'll meet up with you three later, okay?"

"Don't catch frostbite out there. It's very very cold." Winifred warned.

"We'll be fine." I said putting my arm around Roger who rolled his eyes. As Clare waved, Roger fished out the remaining marshmallow from the bottom of his mug. "Hey Clare, guess what?"

"Oh God, Roggie! Don't do this! It's not even funny. We're not little kids anymo--" He stuck the marshmallow on her nose. "You've got a marshmallow on your nose! You've got a marshmallow on your nose!" Roger walked away laughing. "Winter tradition." He explained. Growing up with two brothers, I understood.

***

All in all I couldn't say Smith was a bad guy. He took good care of Winnifred and Clare from what I could see, and he even helped us get our Christmas tree into the car. He was Deaky's favorite professor and apparently Freddie was friends with him now too. I tried to convince myself to embrace him with open arms, but Smith was just so obnoxious and condescending. How could anyone stand to be around him? Maybe I was going slightly mad.

"What do you think of William?" I asked Roger as we mounted the large sleigh for the farm tour.

"Are those reindeers?" Roger pointed to the horses preparing to pull the sleigh being fed sugar cubes by a man in a Santa hat. How could I expect Roger to listen when there were so many new things to look at that offered a distraction.

"No, honey, those are normal horses. And the plural of reindeer is reindeer not reindeers." I corrected patiently.

A handful of others boarded the sleigh for the tour. It was big enough to fit a dozen people, but the weather dissuaded them. This was actually very romantic. I put my arm around Roger and he rested his head on my chest.

"Hey! Am I too late?" Clare came running, nearly slipping in the snow. "Roger! Bri!" She scrambled up onto the sleigh forcing herself in between us. "I didn't know they gave sleigh ride tours here. I had to join you!"

"And you had to invent your own seat?" Roger said reaching over Clare's lap to grab my hand. "Why couldn't you sit on either side of us?"

"Well, I had to get back at you for your marshmallow nose stunt." She giggled, bopping Roger's nose.

"Yeah, but you're also punishing Brian and he didn't even do anything wrong." Roger pointed out. He hopped over Clare's legs and sat down on my lap. "There. Much better."

"Seriously?" I sighed as the sleigh began to trudge forward and the driver urged everyone to remain seated. It looked like I'd be lapsitting for the length of the tour. I kissed the side of Roger's head and snaked my arms around his stomach. We were in public, so I couldn't do much else with this situation.

"Clare, what do you really think of William?" Roger asked casually. Maybe it was on his mind too. 

"Honestly, he's a strange dude. He loves to be the smartest man in the room and if you try to challenge him intellectually, he gets intimidated and lashes out a bit, but in this weird passive aggressive sort of way, nothing too threatening or serious. I think he's just insecure about his own knowledge. But other than that I think he's a good fit for Mom. It's been great having him around the house too. His cats are adorable and lots of fun to play with. He cooks, he cleans, and he provides for us. Professors make a good amount of money. I know that shouldn't be important but it is. Of course Mom's happy and that's all that matters. Oh and he's on the Michael Hater Squad. He said he'd personally put a bullet in Michael's head if he tries to come anywhere near us after he gets out of jail."

"Ohhhh. That's why he's so mean to Brian." Roger concluded. "You're so smart, you scare him, babe! It makes so much sense now."

"I guess." In truth it seemed like Smith was out to get me for no reason. It was a valid hypothesis that my intellect intimidated him, but shouldn't he be used to facing smart people from working in a university? Besides, I wasn't that smart. I was just well read.

"Hello and ho ho ho everyone!" The sleigh driver announced. "Welcome to Rhye Farms. While you're here, be sure to stop by our seasonal drink station. In the winter we serve piping hot cocoa, but during the summer and spring sweet cold lemonade is available, and of course our fresh apple cider is plentiful in the fall. It really makes you want to visit us all year round! If you look to your left you'll see our world famous cabbage patch. It's frozen at the moment..." Everything except the Christmas tree collect was invisible due to all the sleet and ice. It was not farming season. Roger still looked at everything curiously squinting as if he might be able to see a vegetable popping up out of the ground by some miracle.

"...And that concludes our tour!" The sleigh skidded to a stop. "Watch your step getting down. It's slippery."

Roger groaned, nuzzling against me. "I'm too comfortable here. I don't wanna get up." I was freezing, so I huddled into his body heat. "Honey, you need to get up." I instructed as Clare waited for us by the barren frozen garden.

"Mmm...No thanks." Roger shook his head.

Damn it! "I don't wanna have to do this, but..." I scooped him up and carried him off the sleigh like I would a small child. At least this way I wouldn't worry about him tripping.

"Hey, Clare, Bri's giving free piggyback rides!" Roger announced. He clung to me, refusing to be let down.

Clare laughed and waved over to Winifred and Smith who were walking toward us. "Hi kids! How was the tour?" Winifred greeted. "Careful, Brian, don't drop my baby."

"Wouldn't dream of it." I replied still trying to set Roger back down on the ground safely, but the stubborn thing was latched on to me like glue.

"All the gardens are frozen solid, but it was beautiful nonetheless." Clare exclaimed. "And I had the best view of my two favorite love birds the whole time."

"Love birds are tropical. They're typically only found in African islands. Most birds you'll see in England around this time of year would have flown south." Smith stated obliviously.

"She's talking about us, not actual birds." Roger clarified.

"I knew that. I was just messing with you!" Smith retorted defensively. Huh. Maybe Clare was onto something about him...

"Anyway, I've got some exciting news!" Winifred announced. "I just received a phone call from the prison."

"Fuck!" Roger shouted finally releasing his grip from around me and slipping down onto his own two feet willingly. "Mom, you shouldn't be taking calls from Michael. And hearing from him is not good news."

"No, this is about your Uncle Clem." She explained. "He is getting released from prison next week! He's excited to see everyone!"

"You have an uncle in prison?" I asked. This was news to me. I wouldn't be surprised if Clem was Michael's brother and that was their relation.

"Yeah, but Clem's the best!" Roger proclaimed. "He totally didn't deserve to be locked away. Sometimes people do bad things for the right reasons. You remember Uncle Clem, right Clare?"

"Are you kidding? Of course I do! I love Uncle Clem!" She exclaimed. "I was devastated when he had to go away. I remember in the 1st grade he took me to see the Nutcracker Ballet. Remember how obsessed I was with the Barbie Nutcracker movie growing up? I always pretended the main girl's name was Clare instead of Clara."

"Oh memories!" Winifred cooed. "We should watch some of our home movies. I used to record you two opening your presents on Christmas Day. It was the cutest thing. Roger, why don't you come over and watch them with us? In fact you and Brian can stay for dinner."

"I don't know Mom," Roger dismissed. "Brian is vegan."

"That's no trouble at all. I'm sure there's something in your house I can eat. Even if it's peanut butter and**—**" Roger elbowed me. Oh. I wasn't the reason we weren't accepting the invitation. Roger wanted out for whatever reason. He offered my diet as his excuse. "You know on second thought, I have leftover lentil burgers from the other night at our flat. I don't want them going bad so**—**"

"—Why don't we come over to your place instead. I'll bring the videos. We can play them on your TV!" Winifred announced.

Roger smiled and nodded but there was a glint of hostility in those glimmering blue eyes. I had no problem hosting Roger's family although I didn't care for Smith in the least. Why was Roger so upset with this plan?

"I'm bring my own bucket of chicken wings. There's no way in hell I'm eating your lentil shit even if it has the word burger in it. I know that's nothing more than a trap and there's no real meat in it!" Smith declared.

*******

I knew Roger's eyes worked fine now, but I questioned his hearing. He ignored me on the drive back home only giving me a slight nod here or there. Not even the jolly Christmas tunes on the radio peaked his interest. He just stared blankly out the window, not reacting to anything.

"Do you want to start decorating our tree now?" I asked. "You can finally see it all lit up."

"Hmm?"Roger barely noticed as I unveiled my box of ornaments.

This was ridiculous! Where was my wild and unpredictable Roger? He was supposed to be screaming and telling dirty jokes. I could imagine him picking up each ornament and staring at it with scrutiny trying to decipher what it was.Roger was anything but the lifeless zombie before me. Time to get back my baby.I plucked the star out of the box and forced it into Roger's hand. Then for the second time today I picked him up. "Star belongs on the top of the tree. Do the honors, honey!"

"Star." Roger repeated twirling the ornament in hands. "This doesn't look like the stars you show me at night. Those look like little balls of light...this is all pointy." Okay that was a reaction. It was better than nothing.

"This goes on the top?" Roger asked tentatively.

"Go ahead, sweetheart." I prompted.

His hands were shaky but he managed to fit the star right on top of the tree for everyone to see. I let Roger back down so he could look up and admire the sight.

"Dad never let me anywhere near the tree." Roger admitted. "One year I remember I was dumb enough to sign up for ceramics in school as my elective and I decided to make my own ornament shaped like a car...or what I imagined a car would look like. I tried to put it on the tree, but it fell and shattered, and Michael was so furious...Bri, I don't want to watch those movies. I love Christmas, but seeing myself as a stupid little blind boy with Michael scorning in the background will not put me in the holiday spirit."

"You were never stupid, Roger. You're witty and courageous and you have more hidden talents than anyone I know. Why didn't you tell me you took a ceramics class?"

"It was elementary school, Brian. Any booger picking kid can mold a design out of clay." Roger sighed. "Sorry I know you're trying to help, but I'm just not in the mood for reminiscing right now. I don't like to think about those days before I met you. You probably imagine me as this cute bubbly blonde with no troubles, but I wasn't like that at all. I'm not the boy next door."

"You're something more than the boy next door." I said.

"I'm fucked up." Roger replied. "I don't want those memories around to haunt me."

"That's all they are." I assured him. "Memories. They're in the past. Nothing can hurt you now. No one will make you feel worthless or take your sight away from you. I promise. If I have to spend the rest of our lives together convincing you of how great you are and that we can overcome any fears or obstacles standing in our way, I'll do it. We are the champions and we'll keep on fighting till the end. I'll never leave your side even if you push me away."

"Fuck!" Roger teared up. "Why are you so good to me? I love you. You know that I love you. Even when you say sappy shit like that and make me cry I still love you."

"I love you too, baby. There's no need to cry. Let's finish decorating our tree, okay?"

***

It was an emotional afternoon to say the least. Roger had just dried his tears from earlier only to start crying again when I closed the lights and blinds and lit up the Christmas tree. I welcomed tears of joy of course. "I've never seen anything so beautiful!" Roger exhaled staring at the shimmering twinkle lights and sparkling bulbs with his jaw wide open. "...'cept maybe you of course. You're very beautiful." Roger surprisingly looked away from the tree and up at my face. I didn't know what the big deal was. I wasn't anything special, at least not compared to a dazzling Christmas tree.But Roger looked at me like I was the second coming of Christ. He touched my face and smiled.

"You're partial." I decided. "You have no objectivity since your eyes are so new and I'm the first thing you ever saw."

"Beautiful." Roger repeated making me blush. "Just accept it as fact, Bri. You're beautiful." The gorgeous angel himself insisted.

I leaned down to kiss him, but then remembered something. Much to Roger's dismay I stepped out of his embrace. "One more decoration. Very important." I collected the mistletoe that had come with the trees and hung it up over the door to our bedroom. From now until Christmas I'd be getting goodnight kisses when before we went to bed and good morning kisses when we left our room to start the day.Of course I got those anyway but the mistletoe made it seem more special.

"What is that?" Roger asked. "If it's an ornament, shouldn't it go on the tree? Looks like moss. Do we really want it so close to our bedroom? What if it brings in mold and**—**" I pulled him into my arms and kissed him demonstrating what it was he was looking at without saying a word.

Our impassioned making out was interrupted by the doorbell. Roger pulled away breathlessly. "I still want to know what that thing up there is." He said as he went to welcome our guests.

As promised, Smith brought an oversized bucket KFC with him. I didn't care so long as he didn't force me to eat it.

"Nice place you got here." Smith remarked. He took off his shoes and a putrid odor filled the air. "Keep your shoes on, William!" Roger shouted plugging his nose.

"Brian, can I ask a favor?" Clare requested sweetly. What could I do for her? She usually asked Roger for help, not me. "Of course. Anything."

"Freddie is going to be debuting in the Royal Ballet's annual rendition of The Nutcracker. I think that would be a great welcome home present for Uncle Clem and I already bought us tickets for the opening night with the friends and family discount." Clare explained. "Do you think there's any chance Freddie could get us backstage afterwards? I'm sure Uncle Clem would love to meet the star of the show."

"That's a great idea, Clare!" Smith interjected. "I'll call Freddie right now."

"Um she asked me to—"

"**—**It's no trouble at all, Brian. You know Freddie and I are very close. Once a month we attend the Smitten for Kittens social event and our cats have play dates with all the other cats."

"Yeah but Freddie's my brother. I've known him since I was born well beyond a social group for cat lovers." I stated.

"Let me take care of this." Smith downplayed my relationship with Freddie. He made the call in order to show off. Freddie was put on speaker phone.

"William, darling! How are you? Is J. Robert Oppenheimer II's bum feeling any better?"

"I'm afraid not. He still has that nasty rash." Smith sighed. "But Mittens and Misty are doing all right."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I gave you the name of my vet, right? The other day poor Delilah was having tummy trouble, and he took great care of her. Now she's good as new all bright eyed and bushy tailed!" Freddie exclaimed.

"That's good! So listen, Freddie, I need a favor. Winnie's brother-in-law is a big ballet fan I hear. He's going to be at your opening night show for The Nutcracker with Clare. Think you could do a little meet and greet after the performance? Maybe sign an autograph or two?"

"Of course, dear. Anything for family. It's always wonderful to have new fans. Bringing ballet to the masses isn't easy you know. I'm glad more and more people are coming to appreciate it. Maybe Clare can bring Roger along too. I don't think he's ever been to the theater before. Poor boy is so uncultured."

"Fred, you're on speaker." Roger announced.

"Well it's not by a fault of your own, darling. Watching ballet and being exposed to art wouldn't have done much good for you in the past. Now, of course, you're more than welcomed to come see what you've been missing out on." Freddie stammered. "Why hasn't Brian brought you to any of my shows or art exhibits yet? What is wrong with him?"

"I'm here too, Freddie." I announced.

"Bloody hell! If Deaky's there with you and you're having a party without me I will throw a tantrum. No one is allowed to have fun unless I'm there to provide the entertainment! Don't make me call Miami. Snitches get stitches unless I'm the snitch in which case I'm immune."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works." I said.

"Don't worry, Freddie. You're not missing out on anything. It's just me and Brian. My family decided to crash our place and William brought KFC. We're just gonna have a quiet evening watching home movies. No need to start WWIII." Roger said.

"Well then carry on and enjoy your fried chicken. If you call again and I don't pick up it means I'm getting down and making love to my fiancé. Love you, darlings!" Freddie made smooching noises and hung up.

***

"I haven't had real food in so long!" Roger salivated over his plate. I rolled my eyes and enjoyed my lentil burger on my own.

"Brian, you need to stop feeding your man giraffe food. Both of you are going to end up malnourished." Smith insulted.

"We're fine thanks." I retorted.

"I wish I had your will power. I love animals, but not enough to give them up as food." Clare admitted.

"I'm just too lazy to cook, so I eat whatever Brian makes, and it's all vegan." Roger summed up. "I mean I guess it's fine 'cause he's perfect in every other way. Gotta settle for something, right?" He fumbled with his phone on his lap beneath the table.

Sure enough I received a text.

**Roger**💞**: JK babe I love you, you plant eating giraffe!**

I snickered. Oh Roger! What an absolute delight he was.

Smith gave me a scornful glare. "Put away your mobile device, May. We're at dinner. It's rude." It was like freshman year all over again. I put my phone back in my pocket. Roger hid his phone as well not wanting to get caught red handed like me.

After dinner, Roger curled up on the couch and yawned in the most adorable fashion. Winifred loaded the video into the TV. By the time I returned with a blanket, Roger had fallen asleep. Why was he so sleepy all of a sudden? I wrapped him up snuggly in the blanket, but he reached up and grabbed my hand with his eyes still closed. "Cuddle with me, Brimi."

"You knew it was me with your eyes closed?" I marveled. How Roger functioned in the darkness never ceased to amaze me.

"Who else would it be?" Roger stretched out his arms anticipating a cuddle.

"I don't know. It could have been your mother." I speculated as I joined him underneath the blanket. "Open your eyes, baby. If you fall asleep now, you won't be tired at bedtime." Besides, it was impolite to take a nap when we had guests over. As comfortable as I was in this position covered in a blanket with Roger resting against my chest, I didn't want Smith mocking me. He sat on the other end of the couch with an amused smile.

"Here we go!" Winifred announced as the staticky image from the old home movie came up onto the screen. A date in the lower corner marked it as about 15 years ago. A little girl in a Santa hat that was too big for her head with long blonde hair peaking out from underneath waved to the camera. Clare squealed. "Look! I was so cute!"

I nudged Roger. "Wake up. You should watch this." I whispered. He groaned and kept his eyes shut. It was apparent that Roger wasn't really sleeping. Remembering our conversation earlier, I didn't bother him anymore.

_"Look who's awake! Good morning, sleepy head! It's Christmas! Come open your presents!" _The voice behind the camera who sounded like Winifred called to a skinny boy with a Beatles haircut and innocent bright blue eyes staring blankly ahead. He descended slowly from the stairs with a caution in his steps relying on a cane. Poor baby! What an angel! This must have been before they had adopted Ringo.

_"Merry Christmas!" _Roger's voice was even higher than normal, but it matched his frail prepubescent frame that seemed to be drowning in his race car pajamas. Unlike Clare, Roger didn't look directly at the camera. His focus was just to the left of his mother, but it was subtle enough to seem like he was looking in her general direction.

_"Oi! __The b__oy has to swallow his vitamins and pills first. Don't want him getting sick again. Presents can wait." _There was a man sitting at the table casually perusing the newspaper with disinterest. He had unkempt dark hair and big blue eyes. He was sitting so still that I hadn't noticed him until he spoke.

Current Roger's eyes fluttered opened. His breath hitched. "T-That's him?" He whispered. "That's Michael?" It was difficult to fathom that this was also Roger's first time seeing his father. "He looks so...normal."

"Not all monsters have horns on their heads and big sharp fangs." Smith remarked. "You okay, Roger?"

"F-Fine." He stammered. I held him closer. "It's alright, baby. He's behind bars. Memories can't hurt you, remember?"

Another man appeared on camera dragging a drum set into the room. He was tall with wild dark hair neatly slicked back and big brown eyes. Roger looked around curiously with a slight frown. _"What's going on?"_

_"I'm just bringing you your Christmas present Roger! Come have a look!" _The man announced. He guided Roger to the drums letting the boy grasp the cymbals and snares in awe. "_A-Are these drums?"_

_"Shit! I thought you were joking.__You had to pick the loudest instrument there is. The boy will be causing such a ruckus we__won't be able to hear ourselves think." _Michael cried.

_"Well unlike you, I want my nephew to be happy. So what do you think, Rog?" _He presented Roger with a pair of drumsticks. "_Are you gonna be the next Ringo Starr?"_

_"Clem, you stop that right now! Don't fill his head with dreams he can never achieve." _Michael exclaimed.

_"Don't you listen to him, my little race car driver." _Clem's nickname made Roger smile. "_Now let me tell you something. You're just as good as anybody else. You can do anything you set your mind to. Same goes for you, Clare. Don't let anyone hold you back from your endeavors, my brother especially. Believe me, he's been spewing nonsense from the day he was born."_

_"They're my kids, Clem. I can tell them whatever I want." _Michael shouted.

Clem shoved him back against the wall and then the camera went dark as the brothers brawled. When the film returned, Clare was playing with a doll and Roger was gingerly tearing apart the wrapping paper of a present.

"_It's a book_." He figured out. Without looking down at the cover he trailed his fingers across the spine. "_The new Harry Potter! Wow! Thank you!"_

"_You're very welcome, sweetheart." _Winifred said from behind the camera. "_You can start reading it now if you'd like."_

_"Mmm, no thanks. I'll read it later. I wanna check out the drums Uncle Clem got me! He thinks I'm gonna be the next Ringo."_

Michael rolled his eyes but it was invisible to Roger who scrambled back up onto his feet. He tripped over a torn piece of wrapping paper moments later and fell flat on his back. "_Oh you poor thing!" _Winifred cried as Michael laughed. The camera went dark again.

"I miss Uncle Clem." Roger murmured. "I'm glad he's finally coming back."

Anyone who properly valued Roger and stood up against Michael was a good man in my eyes. It was clear Clem loved his nephew and niece. The only question was how did he end up in prison? He had to have perpetrated some sort of offense. It wasn't like he had done his sentence, but committed no crime. Roger acknowledged that Clem had done a bad thing for the right reasons. So was the action justified? In order to answer that I needed to know: what the hell did Clem do?


	20. Radio Goo Goo Radio Ga Ga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clem has done some bad things, but he loves Roger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for a super depressing chapter? So those familiar with my writing know that I'm not too good at subtlety or maybe I'm subtle in my flaws. I have a very absurd style that can be juvenile at times, but that's part of what makes writing these tales so pleasurable and stress relieving for me. At the end of the day this is a hobby and not a profession. I'm not getting paid to write fanfiction. But I still wanna maintain quality even though I'm just having fun because my readers deserve substance. So in this story I'm gonna try to move away from distinct good and bad in characters and write more nuance (unless I just wanna get a good laugh ie: Karen). You can kinda see me giving Smith some redeeming qualities. We'll call this the Severus Snape approach. And this brings us to dear Uncle Clem...
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: There's mention of a suicide attempt in this chapter. It's brief but you should know that it's included if that stuff bothers you. Stay safe and stay healthy!

_Clem's POV_

I often asked myself where I went wrong in life. Was there a specific path I took that landed me here? Surely I didn't deserve to be surrounded by the lowest of scumbags completely stripped of my dignity. Did my actions really warrant the loss of my freedom? I like to think that I was a decent guy who made a blunder or two.

I tried to make myself comfortable in the world's stiffest chair enjoying the little liberty I had during rec hour and TV privilege. Charlie, the insurance fraud offender, kicked the bottom of my seat obnoxiously. I ignored him and focused instead on Mr. Robot, the show up on the screen which happened to be one of my favorite programs. Okay so I might have stolen the remote so I could get full access to whatever I wanted to watch during this precious single hour of the day. Of course it's not a crime unless you get caught. In the grand scheme of things I'd rather plead guilty to stealing a remote than my true crime.

I liked the character of Elliot played by the impeccable Rami Malek. We were both hackers, but Elliot was more low key about it than me. I appreciated that about him. He stayed off the radar really well. I should have learned from him.

To be fair, I was super careful at first and took many precautions. Looking back, I guess you could say I had bad intentions when I first started hacking...

I graduated with a degree in computer science and engineering and landed a job at a bank overseeing online transactions into clients' accounts and making sure all the computer systems run smoothly. The pay wasn't good at all and I still had a substantial amount of student debt. That forced me to live at home with my mother and repugnant younger brother Michael. Our father was a good for nothing drunk who died in a car accident he caused by driving intoxicated. He took the innocent lives of a man and his pregnant wife along with him. Good riddance. I mourned only for the couple and their unborn baby, but not my abusive father. Unfortunately, Michael took after that son of a bitch and loved to make everyone's life a living hell. My mother put up with it just like she had with my father's bullshit. She coddled Michael, put him up on a pedestal. He could do no wrong in my mother's eyes. Ever since we were young, I made it my life long goal to stay the hell away from Michael and his bully jock friends he made in school. Sharing a room with the motherfucker made it difficult to achieve that goal. When I returned home from university, I slept on the couch to avoid him. I had too much pride to reside in Michael's room again.

After receiving my very first pay check, I was dismayed to realize I was still in debt. How can anyone get ahead in life when expenses were so high and money was so hard to come by? And that question is where it all began...

I came to the conclusion that I had to rig the system. Assholes like Michael got successful by cheating. There was no harm in reaping just a little something for myself, an otherwise righteous man.

Part of my job included transferring bank accounts from deceased clients onto one of their relatives, and if they had no benefactors I'd empty the account so the bank receives the money. I worked for the bank. The money should go to me, the individual, not the institution. I only stole enough to pay back my student loans. That was all I needed. I couldn't get greedy. The clients I took from were all dead and gone without any relatives. A victimless crime. No one was harmed and I sought the benefit. Now I could start anew and build my wealth debt free. Or so I told myself.

Then things got a little bit complicated. The house got more crowded. Michael was a senior in high school and had no plans for college or a job outside of delinquency and loitering. That meant he was never moving out and I was forever stuck on the couch. To make matters worse, he knocked up his girlfriend Winifred who was only a sophomore barely 17 years old. Her parents gave her an ultimatum: abort or leave. So now Winnie was living with us!

Michael would keep me up all night with his enraged screams at his girlfriend for fucking up his life with a child he didn't want and couldn't care for. He wanted her to "get rid of it before it was too late."

Now before you say anything ladies, I know—No uterus, no say. But I'm personally pro choice. I don't give a shit what a woman does with her body. She's free to do whatever she pleases as far as I'm concerned. In this case Winifred chose life, and that was again her choice. Michael should back off and let her have her baby. Of course when I told him this, he gave me a black eye.

I really needed my own place to escape this drama. Problem was I couldn't afford it. Unless...

So I pulled off another heist, emptying an account of a recently deceased widower with no children. Really, what was the harm? Why should his money go to waste? The bank would invest it in loans, perpetuating the cycle of debt. Instead, I would invest in modest real estate to help the economy. So now with a new humble flat I could finally move out and start my life. No more stealing.

Everything was going swimmingly until a few weeks later. I received a phone call from a man claiming that his brother had recently passed away and the bank had frozen his assets. In reality I had embezzled his brother's money and spent it all on my new flat. Oops. So what did I do to fix this pickle? I hacked into the accounts of wealthier clients and transferred a small amount of money from their account over into his. What was the difference of a couple hundred dollars to these millionaires? No one would ever find out.

Alright so maybe my hacking didn't stop altogether after that. Gym memberships are expensive you know. Plus someone needed to help out with Winifred's new baby because Michael was currently working at McDonalds and our mother was very ill.

Yes, I admit some of the money was invested in personal luxuries, but most of it went toward helping Winnie and unfortunately paying for Mother's funeral. She left everything to Michael, naturally. That was alright though. I had my own source of income. This way Michael and Winifred could keep the house and raise their baby there.

Speaking of houses, I was growing tired of my small flat. It was a nice starter home, but I outgrew it. So I decided to sell it and purchase something higher class. A great big house for just one person? Yeah why not. Maybe one day I'd meet my soulmate and have a family of my own. You never know. Otherwise I'd just construct a playroom for my baby nephew and spoil him rotten. Michael was going to treat the incoming baby like shit so I had to step up my game. Uncle Clem to the rescue! I was going to give that baby the best life he could imagine. But there were a few more things I had to take care of before we welcomed little Roger into the world...

Have you ever seen the show Breaking Bad? Well the hero Walter White had to start a car wash business as a front to cover up his drug money. SPOILER ALERT the poor bloke died of cancer in the end, but otherwise he would have gotten off scot free. Since I wasn't dealing with drug lords my situation wasn't as messy. I just started up a business selling mattresses to cover up my excessive income increase and prayed that I'd never get audited. Easy as pie!

As a salesman I discovered my true calling. Even though the store was a front, I found a passion for selling and making deals and soon it became my real career. It wasn't just about the mattresses, it was how I could sell an entire lifestyle to my clients. _"This mattress will change your life. I guarantee it!" "It will make you a better person." "You'll be healthier and happier. Every morning, you'll wake up with a great big smile." _Did I exaggerate a bit? Maybe. But who cares. The rhetoric sure as hell worked. In a matter of months, I had built up my mattress business as the best in town! I was considering opening a chain.

One day Michael entered the store with Winifred who was heavily pregnant. She wasn't due until September, but her belly looked ready to pop and it was only late July. "Alright, Clem, I know your business is a scam for drugs or whatever the hell you're doing to get rich so give us a crib for free and I won't call the cops." Michael announced.

"Drugs? I would never! I'm into the healthy lifestyle. The cycle of vitality. 10 hours of sleep each night. Very important. These mattresses will make it happen." I insisted. Remember, as the great George Costanza once said: It's not a lie if you believe it. That was the key to running a successful business in my opinion.

"I told you, Michael. Let's go to a real baby store. He doesn't have cribs." Winifred said.

Shit! She was right. I didn't sell cribs. "I'll tell you what. I'll give you the money for it. How much do you want? A decent state of the art crib probably costs at least $1000. I'll write you a check."

"Hell no! We won't take your fucking dirty money, Clem. Who the hell spends that much on a crib anyway? We can probably find one for less than a hundred dollars. The boy will grow out of it in a year or two anyway." Michael reasoned.

"I want Roger to have a good life. It all starts with a foundation, so--"

"--STOP TRYING TO SELL ME BEDS!" Michael shouted. He violently pushed me down onto one of the mattresses. I retaliated by smacking him with a pillow.

"Grown men pillow fighting. Oh my!" Winifred giggled, but then her laughs gave way to grunts of pain.

"Winnie?" I kicked Michael back down and scrambled off the bed to comfort her. "Winnie, what's the matter?" She clutched her stomach, wailing in agony. "S-Something's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong. Baby's just being an asshole kicking you for his own amusement. That's what kids do. Annoying little shits." Michael scoffed.

"I-I...think...I'm g-going into labour." Winifred cried.

"Oh my God!" I was horrified. I never dealt with this before. What did I do? If she gave birth in the store would I have her lie down on one of the mattresses or something?

"No you're not going into labour. It's too bloody soon for that." Michael rolled his eyes.

Then her water broke and she screamed. I immediately called for an ambulance as Michael went pale, shaking his head. "C-Can't you just hold it in? Shit! Winnie, we're not ready. It's too early. I thought we had until September."

"Hold it in?" I cried. "Bloody hell! It doesn't work like that, you idiot. It's okay, Winnie. The ambulance is on its way to take you to the hospital. Deep breaths, alright. Here." With all my might, I scooped her up and placed her down on one of the mattresses allowing her to get comfortable.

"Hey! What the fuck Clem? Who said you could handle my wife like that? Respect your boundaries, bro!"

I ignored him and squeezed Winnie's hand. "Listen to me, on this mattress anything is possible. You can survive this. You and the baby will be fine. Believe in the power of the mattress and your own capabilities." Inspirational speeches sold mattresses by the ton, but would they help a woman going through a premature labour without any pain meds?"Just hold on until the ambulance gets here!" I urged.

Winifred screamed in pain squeezing my hand so tightly it went numb. "Just hold on! Hold on!" The next moments were a nauseating blur. Winifred was yelling like someone was murdering her while Michael swore. Then a boisterous baby's cry overpowered everything. Roger had to be only 2 or 3 lb at most, but it amazed me how such a little thing could be so damn noisy. My nephew had quite a pair of lungs. He had always the loudest person in the room ever since the moment he was born. I don't know how I ended up cradling Roger first. Somehow in all the chaos, he ended up in my arms wrapped in one of the bedsheets. Time seemed to stop as I held him. He was so tiny he nearly got lost in the makeshift blanket. Cute as a button despite being so small. Wide eyes blinked opened and stared up at me. "You're gonna have a good life, little guy. I'll make sure of that." I vowed.

Winifred and Roger were whisked away with the paramedics, and Michael took a ride with them in the ambulance. I closed my store and rushed to the hospital to make sure everything was alright. Roger seemed okay to me despite being so small, but things can go wrong with premature babies.

I found Michael sitting in a waiting room outside of the maternity ward with his arms folded indignantly. "You shouldn't have come, Clem."

"I didn't expect fatherhood to change you. I was right." I replied coldly. "I'm here so fucking deal with it. Now where's Winnie and the baby?"

"ICU." He replied.

"WHAT?" I cried.

"I don't know . There's something wrong with Roger's immune system. I swear if Winifred dies because of this shit I'm putting him up for adoption. I never wanted him. I didn't ask for this drama." Michael ranted.

"That little baby boy needs you and I know you're a horrible person, but people can change. Become a better man for him." I urged.

"I'm a delight. _You're _the no good thief. Don't try to act all superior. Winifred and I won't be taking any of your pity money either. We can care for Roger on our own. We don't wanna get caught up in your illegal schemes."

Before I could deny my brother's accusations a doctor walked over. "Mr. Taylor, I have good news and bad news."

"Is Winifred alive?" Michael asked.

"Oh yes. She is fine. Don't worry about her. We need to talk about your son." He said.

"Is he dead?" Michael blurted.

"No, no of course not." The doctor assured. "We're doing everything in our power to keep him alive. And the odds are really good right now. The problem is his quality of life if he survives."

I felt like throwing up. Had I not just promised that little bundle of joy a good life? Now he might not even survive. 

"Well out with it! What the hell's wrong with the boy? Is he retarded? Is he missing a finger or toe? What is it? I don't have all day!" Michael growled.

"Mr. Taylor, I'm afraid Roger's immune system never developed properly because he's premature. He's already contracted a very high fever just from being exposed to the environment. We've managed to bring down the fever so he's currently stable. Unfortunately with such a weakened immune system, he's very vulnerable to all sorts of germs and even something minor could easily kill him." The doctor explained.

"Shit! Poor baby." I exclaimed. Hopefully, Roger was a fighter and could keep himself alive. I needed him to fight. I wasn't emotionally prepared for this.

"Just give him some vaccinations. Problem solved." Michael reasoned.

"No. At this point any shots would be just as likely to kill him as the disease it's aiming to prevent. Roger will need to be kept in a sterile environment to artificially build his immunity at least for a year. Hopefully as he grows and slowly builds up his immunity, we can get him vaccinated. But that could take years and may not happen at all. Right now the goal is to keep Roger alive and make sure he doesn't catch any illnesses."

"A-A year? Did you say a year? Will NHS cover that? We can't afford to have a bubble baby." Michael shouted.

"That's all you care about?" I shrieked. "Bloody hell! I'll pay whatever it takes. That boy is going to live, damn it!"

"NHS will cover Roger's first 6 months here. After that we'll have to reassess." The doctor stated. "Now if you want to visit Roger you'll have wear masks and thoroughly wash your hands."

Winifred was resting in a quarantined area in the ICU alongside Roger who was lying in an incubator with monitors.

"Hey, little guy." I spoke through my mask. "Remember me?" Again those bright eyes looked up at me. "You're making your ol' Uncle Clem into a real softie. You know that? You've got me wrapped around your itty-bitty finger already and you're not even a day old."

"Stop that! You don't want him to mistake you for his father because you're not." Michael said sharply. Roger began to cry. Winifred immediately woke up. "Ahh, baby! My baby! Shh, shh. What's wrong, Roggie?"

"Don't get too attached, Winnie. There's a good chance he'll die." Michael remarked.

"You son of a bitch!" I shouted slapping him across the face. Long story short, I got kicked out for disturbing the peace. But that wouldn't keep me away from my nephew for very long.

For the next two years, I alternated my time. I still ran my mattress store of course because that was my career and ambition. However, I also returned to hacking on the side. I was "managing" about 39 bank accounts trying to be inconspicuous. I wouldn't keep doing it if the money was for me, but it was for Roger. I paid for all of his medical expenses that NHS wouldn't cover and hired various early childhood development experts to ensure that his formative years weren't wasted despite being basically quarantined. Michael complained that Roger gave him hell, but that boy was a miracle in my eyes. When it came to Roger, nothing was out of the question. I was willing to do anything for him: lie, steal, kill--you name it. Roger was my pride and joy. I considered him my own son which only angered Michael even more and encouraged him to continue pushing me away.

I introduced Roger to music very early on in his life. The room he was kept in was depressing no matter how many toys I brought him. So one day I brought him something that would no doubt liven things up.****

Roger was about a year old now. He had caught up both physically and mentally, but he was paler and skinnier than most babies and always had to be monitored. He sat upright in his crib playing with his favorite Lightning McQueen toy car while Winifred watched him fondly.

"Clem-Clem!" Roger giggled when he saw me. Yeah that's what he called me and it was absolutely adorable. Michael was pissed that his limited vocabulary consisted of "Mama" "Clem-Clem" "Baba" (Bottle/Milk) and "Car" but not "Dada". Maybe there was a reason for that.

Either way I was gonna teach Roger a new word today. "Hey, Roggie. I got you something."

"Car!" Roger exclaimed holding up his Lightning McQueen.

"No, not a car." I laughed.

"Baba?" Roger asked.

"Honey I just fed you." Winifred shook her head.

"I got you a radio!" I announced holding up the boom box like the dude from that rom com. "Radio." I repeated.

Roger looked away disinterested. "Car." He repeated going back to playing with Lightning McQueen. "Vroom! Vroom!" The sound effects were new. He was learning a lot verbally.

"Radios play music." I explained. "You can have a radio in your car you know. Listen to music while you drive." That caught his attention. I put the radio on.

_"In the town where I was born_   
_Lived a man who sailed to sea_   
_And he told us of his life_   
_In the land of submarines..."_

"This is the Beatles, the greatest band of all time." I told Roger as he listened with cutest little smile.

"That's debatable." I hadn't noticed Michael enter the room. He unwrapped a bologna and cheese sandwich and took a bite. It was all too fitting because he was full of bologna. "What about Led Zeppelin and The Rolling Stones? I don't want you teaching my son lies. There are better bands than the Beatles out there." Sandwich crumbs fell from his mouth as he spoke. "Honestly they're overrated. Good tunes but so basic and such nasally voices."

"Well I got Roger a radio so he can listen to all the bands he wants and determine the best one for himself." I declared.

"Radio!" Roger blurted.

"Look at that! Another new word!" Winifred applauded. "We taught him duckie the other day."She gestured to the rubber duck resting in the sink where we bathed baby Roger.

"And still no Dada." Michael sighed.

"Gaga." Roger replied.

"No you little imbecile it's Dada." He shouted making Roger cry again. Michael really had a habit of doing that.

"Just let the boy speak even if all he says is radio goo goo and radio ga ga." I said.

"Don't tell me how to parent, Clem. You're some role model for Roger. You come waltzing in here with your radio you probably bought with stolen money. I'm not raising my son to be thief like you!"

The radio continued to play as my brother insulted me. Roger stopped crying when the Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin came on. _"Aaaah-Ah! Aaah-Ah!" _Roger imitated Robert Plant's iconic scream over and over again.

"Oh God thats gonna get very annoying very fast." Michael groaned.

"Hey you got your wish. Your boy's a Zeppelin fan." I laughed.

"This is why we can't have nice things." Michael proclaimed.

"Not with that attitude." I remarked. "You need to shift your thinking. I could sell a sunken mattress for much more money than it's worth because I believe in its quality even if there is none."

"You are an idiot and a waste of space. Please leave. It's bad enough I have to spend my days in this stuffy little room, but I also have to deal with you. Visiting hours are about done anyway." Michael commanded.

"Fine." I sighed. "Bye bye Roger! I'm leaving the radio so you can keep listening, my little rockstar."

"Say bye bye Uncle Clem." Winifred prompted, ignoring her husband's cruel remarks. Hopefully, she wouldn't develop this passive habit if he was abusive toward Roger.

"_Aaaah-Ah!" _Roger screamed again like Robert Plant instead of saying bye bye. "Good enough." I settled and left before Michael could beat me up.

I had confidence that Roger would get better and one day live a normal life. Maybe I was too optimistic, but things seemed to be looking up around Roger's second birthday when he was cleared for his first immunization shot. The doctors were saying that with his steady progress there was a chance he could be out of the hospital by the time he was four and possibly even enrolled in kindergarten in the near future. I celebrated with Winifred and ignored how Michael made this exciting news about him rather than Roger. "Finally! We won't have to spend all of our time in this fucking hospital anymore. I can get my life back together and I'll no longer have to depend on your illegal money."

Shortly after Roger's first vaccine, however, things went downhill, and they went downhill fast. At first we thought everything was fine. He reacted well to the shot and wasn't developing any symptoms or illnesses. So it was time to move on to the next vaccination: the one for mumps and measles.The problem arrived when the doctor came in to examine Roger's fitness for this specific vaccination. He gave Roger the all clear and a date was set for the vaccination. Before Roger could get the shot, however, he developed symptoms for measles. It turns out the doctor who had examined him was exposed to the disease and that made him an unknowing carrier who then spread it to Roger. Just like that, all plans for the future were thrown out the window. Roger's next vaccinations and the eventual life outside of the hospital were no longer concerns. Now we were just striving for the poor thing to survive.

"My nephew's a damn fighter. He'll get through this!" I assured Winifred as she cried her eyes out unable to do anything as we waited for news from the doctors. We were only allowed to watch Roger from behind glass as he was being treated.

"Survival of the fittest I guess." Michael murmured.

"And Roger's the fittest." I argued. Although it didn't look like he was at the moment. A frail peaked baby covered in scabs with the worst case of conjunctivitis I had ever seen. His eyelids were so puffy they were barely able to open and the infection was clear. Now part of me was glad I couldn't see in color. It would have been horrifying to see the supposed redness of inflammation consume Roger's eyes and pupils. Would his eyes still even be the same color after this was over?

"It's a miracle!" I remember hearing those words and pinching myself. "Roger's made a full recovery. Scabs are all healed. Fever's down. He's cured. And his immune system is all the stronger for it. We'll continue to monitor him, but if things keep going in this direction, in the next few weeks we'll be able to get him his vaccinations and he could be going home in a matter of months."

"I told you Roger would pull through!" I applauded. Winifred sobbed and hugged the doctor while Michael muttered something that almost resembled a "thank you".

"Can we see him? Can we see him please?" Winifred begged.

"Of course. Now, he hasn't stopped crying since he's woken up this morning, but we can't find anything physically wrong with him. There's a chance he could be experiencing some neurological side effects. We'll be running some tests later as well as an eye exam. There could be some damage from his acute conjunctivitis. But the eye drops we gave him earlier took care of most of it. I don't think any of this should be too much of an issue. He's probably just crying because he misses his Mama." The doctor explained.

"That isn't like Roggie at all. He's a good baby. Never too fussy." I remarked.

"What are you talking about? He cries and screams all the damn time. He loves giving me headaches." Michael ranted.

"No more than any other baby. It's all relative." I replied.

We put our masks on and went into Roger's room. He was laying flat on his back in his crib relentlessly crying. "Oh my baby!" Winnie cooed. "My brave baby boy." She picked him up and cradled him. Roger would normally stop crying when his mother picked him up like that. Something was wrong.

"Has he been fed yet?" I asked. Maybe he was hungry. Although if that were the case he'd be screaming "baba", not just crying.

"We've been unable to feed him because he won't stop crying and won't take the bottle. But he's been changed twice already." The nurse explained.

"Two diaper changes already? Let's give you a bath, baby." Winifred walked him over to the sink telling the nurse she'd take it from here. "Clem, get his towel and duckie please."

Michael took a seat and relaxed as Winifred and I did all the work getting Roger ready for his bath.

"Now let's get you nice and clean and then maybe you'll eat something and feel a bit better." Winifred said. "Please stop crying, baby. I'm here." She put a hand on his chubby cheek reassuringly. "I'm here. Shh. Shh."

"It's a kind of magic!" I blurted when Roger finally stopped crying. He stared blankly at the wall, but shakily put his hand against his mother's resting on his cheek. "Mama?"

"Yes, yes I'm here. I'm here, baby." She kissed his head and set him down in the sink. Roger flinched and scream when Winifred turned on the faucet, but he quieted down when she calmly announced. "Bath time!" Roger splashed his hands in the water still casting his eyes vacantly ahead.

"Roger, look what I have!" I held up his duckie, but it didn't catch his attention. "Roger?"

"Clem-Clem?" He asked unresponsive to the duck I was waving right in front his eyes that gazed unfixated on anything in particular. I dropped the duck into the water. The splash made Roger scream like he didn't see it coming until it made a sound and got him wet. I waved hand in front of his eyes waiting for some sort of sign that he could see me. Roger merely blinked.

"Clem?" Winifred asked with concern. We were both thinking the same thing no doubt. What did that doctor say about the eye exam?

"Michael, get your ass up and get the nurse in here!" I shouted.

"Why? What's the matter?" He lazed.

"There's something wrong with Roger! Just get the nurse in here! Get the nurse now, damn it!" I cried.

Michael shook his head muttering to himself under his breath as he left to the fetch the nurse with no sense of urgency.

"H-He'll be fine." Winifred stammered. "I-It's just...I probably got some soap in his eyes. That's all. E-Everything's alright."

"Yeah." I moved Roger's duckie closer to him. He screamed when it bumped into his belly, completely unaware that it was floating next to him. "Here, Roggie, it's your duckie." I pointed waiting for his eyes to follow my gesture and see the toy. He didn't react. "Clem-Clem." He repeated recognizing my voice.

"Oh my poor baby! My poor baby!" Winifred wailed.

"Is everything okay?" The nurse returned with Michael.

I shook my head. "S-Something's wrong...He...He..."

"My poor baby is blind!" Winifred exclaimed.

"Shit!" Michael cursed. "How the hell did that happen? Are you sure? He could just be stupid. That's a possibility."

I lost my cool. "The only stupid one is you, you piece of shit!" I clocked him in the face and had to be escorted out by security. Again not the first time that happened but it wouldn't stop me from being there for Roger. I planned on returning the next day for visiting hours. That boy needed me now more than ever.

Later that night Winifred called me in tears. "They say he'll never see again. What are we going to do, Clem? Roger won't eat or play or anything. Poor thing just sits in his crib and cries and cries. It breaks my heart. I ask him to look at me and he just has this dead stare in my general direction. And if I'm too quiet he screams for me because he doesn't know I'm there. Is this going to be his life?"

"There's nothing the doctors can do?" I cried.

"We're going to meet with a specialist tomorrow, but the virus really took its toll on his eyes. The damage is likely irreversible. All we can do is keep giving Roger eye drops twice a day so his eyes don't get irritated and infected again.When I put the drops in, he didn't flinch or respond or anything. His eyes are completely numb. It's almost like their dead. That's not a good sign."

Why did this have to happen to that sweet little boy? Life really wasn't fair. But I could do what I can to help. "Even if I have to go to every eye doctor in all of Europe, I'll find a way to get his sight back." I vowed.

And that was exactly what I did. With the help of Roger's local ophthalmologistDr. Swartzman, we flew in specialist from all around the world. Years and years of surgeries fighting to give Roger the gift of sight seemed to fail each and every time.

"We cannot afford this. Just give up and let him be blind. Why do you give a shit? He's not your son, Clem." Those were Michael's various catch phrases as I tried everything I could to fix Roger's broken eyes with nothing but discouraging results.

Even Winifred slowly accepted that Roger would be blind for the rest of his life. I knew my sister-in-law meant well but some of her habits were concerning. For one thing she'd treat Roger exactly the same as baby Clare. Seven year olds are much more competent than two year olds and Roger did not enjoy being spoken down to like he was half his age. This practice didn't change as Clare got older. Instead Winfred continued to coddle Roger and treat him like a toddler, and he was almost approaching his teenage years.

I suppose it was better than the way Michael treated both Roger and Clare. When I confronted Winifred about how despicable and abusive her husband was to all three of them she'd remain in a state of denial and tell me to mind my own business.

After what seemed like the hundredth surgery that didn't restore Roger's sight, I decided to do something extra special for my brave nephew. I bought a Ferrari.

Bold move I know. I managed it by using the name of the bank account owner whose money I was "borrowing" and a simple fake ID and fake mustache for good measure. Of course I paid the account back by hacking into other accounts and transferring their money and so on. It was small amounts and I was dealing with rich people.

Besides it was all worth it when I pulled up to Michael's house in my new car. I revved the engine and honked my horn. Sure enough, Roger came running out holding Clare's hand. "Be careful!" Winifred called. "Don't go beyond the front yard, Roger!"

He ignored her relying on Clare to freely run forward. "I swear I heard it! I heard a sports car. Is it here? Do you see it? Is it here, Clare? It has to be here. I heard it. Unless it drove away and we missed it."

I grinned and revved the engine again. Roger squealed with joy. "Uncle Clem has a cool car!" Clare giggled.

I rolled down my window. "Hey, Roger, my little race car driver, check out my new wheels! It's a Ferrari."

"You're joking!" He nearly salivated he was so excited. "How'd you afford it?"

"Don't worry about that." I dismissed. "Let's go for a ride!" I pressed the button to make the doors elevate. "The doors are open."

"I know. I heard them unclick and go up. I've read Ferrari manuals. Well I've read manuals for every type of car. Did you know they make car manuals in Braille? I have a collection. Letting go of Clare's hand, Roger felt around for the seat and then clumsily stepped inside. "Wow! I can't believe it! I'm in an open car."

"You're not allowed to sit in the front seat. That's where the grown ups sit." Clare said.

"Clare, sweetheart, I was going to take you and Roger to the candy store, but I guess I can only take Roger since both of you can't fit in the back seat. Unless maybe just this once we can pretend Roger's a grown up and let him sit in the front. Then you can come with us." I said.

Clare crawled into the cramped backseat and buckled up without saying another word. "WINNIE!" I shouted honking my horn. "I'M TAKING THE KIDS TO THE CANDY STORE! I'LL HAVE THEM BACK IN AN HOUR!"

"No! Don't tell Mom. She'll say no." Roger complained.

Winifred came running. "What the hell, Clem? Where did you get a Ferrari? And Roger, who told you you could sit up front?"

"I did." I said buckling him up. "Let the boy have some fun. He deserves it. I'm taking them to the candy store."

"Please Mom. Please." Roger begged unable to see Winifred's apprehensive frown but still sensing it. "Please!" Clare joined in.

"You don't even have your cane, Roger. Are you mad? You're going to a place you're not familiar with. Unbuckle yourself and come back inside. I have some candy for you here. We can listen to the radio while we wait for Dad to come home from work. Clare, honey, stay with Uncle Clem, and don't talk to strangers."

"I'm taking both of them, Winifred. Rog will be fine. He goes on field trips with his school all the time. This is the same thing."

"I'll hold Clare's hand the entire time and I won't leave Uncle Clem's sight. I promise. Just please let me go. Please, please, please."

"Be very very careful. You have your cellphone, right? Call me if anything happens." Winifred reluctantly agreed.

"Alright kids! Let's make the speed of light outta this place." I announced stepping down on the accelerator.

"Fuck yeah!" Roger screamed throwing his hands in the air like he was on a rollercoaster. Seeing that smile, the true happiness that was so hard to obtain in a dark world made everything worthwhile. I didn't even bother reprimanding the preteen for cursing. Roger was having the time of his life, and I was so grateful to bring him that joy. I still hadn't accepted that Roger would be blind forever, but at least he had these fleeting moments of ecstasy from time to time.

I clung to memories of that rare smile in moments of dismay. Like when Dr. Swartzman flashed the light in Roger's unresponsive eyes. "Nothing at all?"

"Don't you think I would have screamed or something if I finally saw light?" Roger retorted.

"Either answer her question or shut up. I missed work to be here!" Michael shouted. "I'm sure the doctor doesn't appreciate you wasting her time like this."

"It's fine. I work with blind children and teens a lot and the teens can be sassy as anything. How old are you now, Roger? 8?"

"9." He replied. "Almost 10. Doesn't matter though. I'll still be blind even when I turn 100. Then I'll die. If I'm lucky I'll see something in heaven."

Michael remained cold and stone faced while I teared up, Dr. Swartzman sniffled, and Winifred didn't even try to hide her tears.

"First of all, let's hope you live a long, long time until you're 120." Dr. Swartzman composed herself. "And secondly we shouldn't give up. There's a doctor in Chicago who's had a major breakthru in eye laser surgery. His team has a very high success rate."

"Chicago?" Roger echoed. "That's in America."

"You can read a Braille map. Good for you!" Michael chirped sarcastically. "I'm glad they taught you something of use in that special school."

"Anyway, this doctor's treatment is no guarantee and you'd have to fly to Chicago, but it could be worthwhile. Of course the cost will be tremendous. NHS won't cover it. I believe it starts at about $5000 per eye."

"Per eye? That's insane! There's no way we're paying for that!" Michael snorted.

"I'll pay for it." I said without hesitation.

"That's nice of you, Clem, but we can't go to Chicago. Michael can't take off from work, and who would watch Clare while we're gone? She'd miss too many days of school if we take her with us." Winifred said.

"I'll take Roger and you two can stay home with Clare." I offered.

"No! No! No!" Winifred shrieked. "There's is no way my baby is leaving the UK, especially not without me there."

"The decision is ultimately yours to make, Winifred and Michael." Dr. Swartzman said.

"What about me?" Roger cried. "Doesn't anyone care about the blind boy? Why can't I go to Chicago with Uncle Clem? What if this is my one chance to finally see?"

"It's so far away, sweetheart. America is on a whole different continent. You've never traveled on the airplane or anything like that before." Winifred said.

"Also what if you go through all that hassle and spend all that money and you still end up blind. Who's to say this isn't like all the other surgeries?" Michael figured.

"But what if it isn't like the others?" I argued. "Don't deny your son his sight. Let me take him. Please."

"I want to see more than anything in the world. I'll do anything." Roger pleaded.

"We'll think about it." Winifred said tentatively.

And that ladies and gentleman is the story of how Roger got his eyesight back for his 10th birthday. I took him to Chicago and the doctor did his expensive laser thingy and Roger finally saw the world. His one wish came true. Expect it didn't. None of that happened. Instead, the Chicago trip was forgotten because I got arrested the following day.Yikes!

I was charged with fraud, embezzlement, and identity theft and looking at 50 to life, but thankfully I was let out on bail before the trial. I was hoping for a plea deal. What a nightmare! The worst part was that I had to tell poor Roger that I let him down and he couldn't depend on me financially anymore because all of my assets were frozen and I'd likely be going away for a very long time. Clare cried when she heard the news, but Roger was more mature. He sat quietly nodding sadly as I told him everything and the sentence I could be facing.

"Do you have to give back your Ferrari?" He asked.

"Afraid so, my little race car driver." I sighed. "I'll have to give everything back. My fortune will be gone."

"Why'd you have to steal the money to begin with? It wasn't yours." He asked.

"Because he's a no good thief. We shouldn't even be giving him the time of day." Michael scoffed. 

"I did it for you, Roggie." I answered. "I paid for everything NHS wouldn't cover and made sure you and Clare were happy."

"What the hell, Clem?" I didn't expect Winifred's sharp tone. "Don't put this on Roger and Clare. You didn't do this for them. You have no conscience. You stole thousands of dollars over the years. You stole a Ferrari. How was that for Roger? No, you did it all for yourself."

"I didn't steal the Ferrari! I only stole the money to pay for the Ferrari." I clarified. I didn't feel the need to tell them that my Ferrari heist was the reason I got caught. The fake ID and fake mustache I used didn't cover up the fact that my Caucasian face didn't match the name I was using. The car dealership got suspicious and alerted the bank. Turns out that account I had hacked into belonged to a former lawyer's son. Big mistake.

"I hope they lock you away for a long, long time, Clem." Michael said.

"And I hope to see you there, brother." I replied coldly.

That was the last time I ever saw Roger, Clare, and fortunately Michael. Winifred visited me in prison only once but just to tell me she was cutting ties and didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

Even my lawyer thought I was a bad person. I could tell. "Look, you've got to believe me. I did it for my nephew."

"Yeah." He said. "Look, Clem, I'm gonna be honest with you. It's my job to believe you, but I don't think a jury is going to buy that the Ferrari you stole was for your blind nephew who's not even ten years old. Your best chance is this plea bargain. I'll try to get you 10-15 years. You really shouldn't have stolen from Beach's son. He can't be the prosecutor on this case because he's involved personally, but believe me he has sway."

"But I put the money back into Farrokh's account!" I cried.

"Yeah by hacking into others' accounts and stealing their money." The lawyer shook his head. "You've pissed off a lot of people, but Jim Beach especially. He loves his sons and won't stand for this shit. What if someone stole money from Roger? Wouldn't you be angered?"

"Of course I would, but this is different." I insisted.

Before the lawyer could argue, his secretary buzzed in the prosecutor and plaintiff. "Alright, keep your mouth shut and I'll get you a plea deal of under 20 years." He hissed.

The prosecutor entered followed by an older man who was also dressed in a suit. Ah, that must be Jim Beach, the former lawyer. Farrokh Bulsara's adoptive father. Eek! I cast my eyes down afraid to look at him.

"Gentlemen." The prosecutor said taking a seat. "My client is here on behalf of his son as well as the others that the defendant stole from. Let's see if we can make a deal."

"Clem Taylor didn't commit a violent crime. He's a nice guy. Cares for his niece and blind nephew. He has a good heart." My lawyer spoke. Jim Beach snorted.

"My client would disagree." The prosecutor translated.

"Look, the bottom line is you stole from an orphan boy among dozen of other innocent people. That money that you pocketed for your Ferrari was left behind from my son's biological parents before they were murdered. He was supposed to receive the money was he was 18. Plus you had the audacity to use my son's name when you bought the Ferrari. What were you thinking? Did you really think a white man posing as an 11 year old Persian boy to buy a luxury sports car would go over well? How the hell do you sleep at night?" Jim shouted.

"Jim, that's enough. You're not prosecuting this case. I am. Calm down. We can be civil." The prosecutor said.

"I-I didn't know his age." I admitted. "I thought he was older."

"That doesn't make a difference. You still stole." The prosecutor said.

"I wouldn't have stolen from a child." I said. "I hacked to help my own kid...well he's not my son, but he's my nephew."

"Clearly he has remorse." My lawyer ventured.

Jim Beach opened his mouth to protest, but his phone went off. "Excuse me. I need to get this." he answered the call. "Brian?...Yeah...Slow down...Freddie did what?...Seriously?....Okay, so let me get all this. The babysitter stepped on a caterpillar that you were fond of, so you accused her of murder. That made Deaky cry because dead caterpillars don't turn into butterflies. So Freddie locked the babysitter outside...Fine, I'll be home as soon as I can. Let me just finish up here." Jim shook sighed and hung up. "Boys." He murmured.

"It seems like you have other priorities at the moment. How about we agree to 10 years and you can go home to your sons?" My lawyer negotiated.

"15 years." Jim declared and the prosecutor nodded.

It was better than life, right? I'd be out by the time Roger was 25. How bad could minimum security prison be? "Okay." I gulped. "I plead guilty. 15 years in the slammer."

"Alright. It's settled and this meeting is adjourned." The attorneys shook hands.

"Tell Farrokh I'm sorry." I called to Jim as he left. He turned back to me. "Are you really sorry or are you just sorry you got caught?" He retorted icily before slamming the door behind him.

So what have I been up to for the past 15 years besides watching TV and complaining about my literal thug neighbors? Well I've been doing lots of reading and coming up with new business ideas for when I finally got out of prison. I'd be leaving penniless after all, so I'd have to get a job somewhere.

I was looking specifically into the area of hypnosis. The mind was a powerful tool. Forget mattresses, I could sell anything with proper persuasion techniques. I eagerly waited my reunion with Roger because I had plans for him. Medical science failed him, but I had a solution. A very simple placebo. If I could just get Roger to believe his eyes were working he'd finally be happy even if his sight was nothing more than an illusion. Deceitful but effective. Then I'd market my miracle product and make money delivering happiness. There was no real lie. It was all in the minds of my clients. And the sugar pills or whatever it was I'd be using wouldn't bring any harm to anyone. Perfectly legal!

I told Winifred about my panacea plan when she came to visit me for the first and last time. "Isn't it brilliant!"

"Wait I don't get it. You're going to give Roger orange juice and that'll magically solve all his problems? It's been 15 years since he lost his sight, Clem. Nothing is going to change."

"No, not orange juice. Weren't you listening? It's Clementine's Miracle Juice." I clarified.

"Look, I came here to tell you that you shouldn't have bothered stealing all that money for Roger. Nothing is going to change. You did all that horrible stuff for nothing and now you're paying the price. This is goodbye, Clem. I want nothing to do with you anymore." Winifred stated.

"So you ghosted me for the past 7 years and now you show up for visiting hours just to say goodbye. You haven't answered any of my letters. I don't know anything about Roger or Clare and what they've been up to or even you for that matter. How are things with you? Is Michael still an ass?"

"Michael has a real honest job. Don't you start with him." Winifred snapped. "You wanna know the real reason I came here?" 

"Please enlighten me." 

"That doctor from Chicago flew in to give Roger eye surgery for free. His team was making a documentary about the blind school. He was able to restore the sight of nearly half of Roger's senior class, and a lot of them got partial vision back. So you can imagine Roger's disappointment when the surgery did nothing for him. So even if you had taken that trip to Chicago and paid that money it wouldn't have worked. I hope you're proud of yourself."

Oh no! That must have been so heartbreaking for him. I wish I could have been there for him. I knew there was a way to get Roger to see again. All he needed was a shift in perspective. If he could just believe... "Roger can still find happiness." I said. 

"Can he?" Winifred almost laughed, but instead she broke down into bitter tears. "Do you know what he did when he got home from the failed surgery? He ransacked the medicine cabinet and swallowed a bottle of pills, probably didn't even know what he was taking. He just chugged the entire bottle. Michael found him and rushed him to the hospital to get his stomach pumped. So don't lecture me about how Michael is horrible. He saved Roger. What have you done? All you've ever done is lied to him. You gave him that little bit of hope...and it killed him. He tried to kill himself because he really thought that the blindfold would be taken off after surgery and he'd finally see light. You made him believe it was possible."

That conversation still haunted me. Winifred had sent me a picture of Roger in his cap and gown when he graduated high school, and she did the same with Clare, but other than that I had no contact with them. 

"God, Rami is so amazing." I sighed as I watched Mr. Robot. 

"Yeah, you're totally gay for Rami." Charlie snickered. 

I rolled my eyes. "Can you blame me for being a fan? He's great." 

"You wanna _be _Rami Malek!" He exclaimed laughing at his own dumb joke. "Hey, wait a minute. Isn't that how you ended up in here to begin with? You pretended to be some middle eastern boy to steal a Ferrari or something." 

"Honestly, Rami would pull it off much better than me. He wouldn't have gotten caught." I murmured. 

A guard approached and I automatically made the TV lower, not wanting to get in any more trouble. This prison was minimum security, but the threat of more time or being sent to maximum security down the street was ever present. One of the social workers was accompanied by the guard. 

"Clem, you're getting out next week! Congrats!" The social worker announced. "Is Clare Taylor still your contact? We're obligated to call someone on the outside or send you to a halfway house otherwise." 

"Um, yeah she's still my contact." I replied. 

"Excellent. We'll give her a call and see if she can come pick you up. In the upcoming week make arrangements to find a place to stay. If not--"

"--I'm not going to a halfway house. I'll find a place to stay." I assured her. 

"I'd let you crash at my house, but I don't have one." Charlie said. 

"That's very helpful." I replied sarcastically. 

It looked like I'd be back to square one: living in a crowded house with Michael. Hopefully he and Winifred would let me stay. I'd repay them. My new business endeavors were going to reap a profit and this time it would all belong to me. 


	21. Caviar and Cocaine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger gets more than he bargained for on a road trip to pick up Uncle Clem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: Don't do drugs!  
*Runs off stage dodging tomatoes thrown by booing audience who are not here for an after school special*

_Roger's POV_

It didn't really hit me that this would be my first time leaving Brian for more than a few hours.Uncle Clem's prison was just on the outskirts of Scotland, about a 5 hour drive to go pick him up. I wanted to be there and I loved long drives.We'd be staying the night over in a hotel most likely making it a 2 day trip at least. Clare couldn't come because she had final exams, so it would just be me, William and Mom. Brian offered to accompany us, but I reminded him that we'd be squeezing in the backseat of William's car with Uncle Clem for five hours on the ride home. Not a lot of leg room. Of course that was a basic excuse. In reality I just wanted to prove to myself that I could be independent for once.

"Besides, you don't even know Clem, and you can't stand William. Why should you miss workfor this?" I regretted saying those words to Brian when I lay awake the night before the trip feeling sick to my stomach. I had felt confident enough to travel on my own until now. Worrisome thoughts swirled in my head preventing me from falling asleep. For one thing, tomorrow night I'd be sleeping all alone in a hotel room. I had gathered about five months worth of wisdom from my new eyes. That wasn't much experience. So spending a night alone in a place I'd never been before frightened me. Who would be there to answer my ridiculous questions? What if I hurt myself? One thing was for sure, the bed would be so cold and lonely without a companion. I imagined myself eyes shut as I slept in a bed all by myself, something I did every night before meeting the love of my life. Now the idea was foreign. If Brian wasn't slumped next to me in bed, I'd have a panic attack. Who would be there for me if I opened my eyes and continued to see darkness the following morning?

I trailed my hand across Brian's sleeping face. "Would you leave me if my eyes failed?" I whispered. He was in such a deep sleep, he didn't respond. "I'll never forget your face even if I can't see it." I planted a kiss on his cheek and snuggled closer fully embracing Brian and the fact that I'd be getting no sleep tonight. I should do something special for him before I left.

Not even bothering to check the time, I wandered into the kitchen. How hard could it be to cook a breakfast? I had to do some work around here and not rely on Brian for everything. Otherwise Michael was right, and I was just a no good free loader. Time to prove my father wrong and offer Brian a gesture of my appreciation for everything he's done for me.

"No eggs." I reminded myself as I mixed a bunch of ingredients that seemed correct in making vegan pancakes. Flour, almond milk, lots of sugar...what else was there? What could I be missing? I proceeded with what I had and poured the batter into a pan which I put on the stove. I ended up making a gooey mess that did not resemble pancakes in the least. What the hell did I do wrong? Maybe I didn't cook them long enough. I turned up the heat.

"Roger?" Brian yawned. "Why are you up this early?"

Shit! "Surprise!" I turned off the stove and presented him with my creation which was no longer gooey but now burnt to a crisp. Not the least bit fluffy or appetizing as pancakes should be. "I was gonna make you breakfast in bed."

"At 4:30 in the morning? Are you mad?" Brian exclaimed.

I took note of the clock. "I couldn't sleep." I admitted. "Thought this would be a nice gesture. A little thanks would be appreciated."

"That's so sweet of you, love." He gave me a kiss. His smile faded when he looked at the flat charcoal lumps in the pan. "Let's um see how they taste."

"It's the thought that counts!" I blurted cringing as Brian daringly put a piece in his mouth.

"I'm sure they're...." Brian coughed, spitting out his bite. "Salty! What did you do, Rog? Spill a whole pitcher of salt in the batter?"

"No. There's no salt in it. Just flour, almond milk, and sugar." I gestured to the ingredients I still left out.

"Ah, that's why they're so thin. You forgot the baking powder so they didn't rise properly. And as for the sugar...well that's not sugar." He laughed. "But it was a very good attempt. And like you said it's the thought that counts. I'm glad you were thinking of me."

"What do you mean that's not sugar?" I put the container to my nose and smelled the white substance. "Fuck!" It was salt. Thinking it was sugar, I had poured nearly half of it into the batter to make it super sweet. No wonder it was so damn salty. "Stop laughing!" I shouted indignantly.

"I'm sorry. It's just that you look like a coke addict. You've got salt all over your nose." Brian chortled.

I frowned. "Cocaine looks like salt?"

"I wouldn't know anything about that. You'll need to ask Freddie." Brian teased. He ruffled a hand through my messy locks lovingly. Boy was I going to miss those affectionate touches even if it was only for a day or two.

"Here, why don't we discard these monstrosities and make a new batter together?" Brian had the audacity to trash my pancakes.

"Hey! I put a lot of hard work into those!" I protested. "Why would you waste them like that? You should feed them to your badgers or something."

"No, no way that's happening. I care about my badgers. I'm not feeding them that pile of rubbish." Brian cleaned up my mess and started anew. I felt so inept. I just watched him begin the new batter.

"So are you all packed and ready to go for when Winifred and William come to pick you up?" Brian asked as he whisked the batter.

"More or less." I replied, licking the spoon instead of helping because that was the only thing I was good at. "I mean I'll only be gone a night so I don't need to pack that much. Just a pair of pajamas, a change of clothes, and a toothbrush." I was too embarrassed to tell Brian that I was also bringing the stuffed elephant from the fair so I wouldn't be so afraid at night.

"Just don't forget your phone and a charger because I expect you to call me at least once every few hours." Brian said.

"Sure thing, Mom." I mocked. "At least give me a chance to miss you."

I knew I was doing the right thing in letting him stay back, My dependency on Brian wasn't healthy. A little bit of time apart would be good for us. Sometimes I worried that I smothered Brian too much. I clung to him a lot both physically and metaphorically. It would be better for both of us if I moved away from that habit and gave Brian more space. He deserved that. Just like he deserved breakfast in bed which I failed to provide.

"So what are you going to be doing while I'm away?" I inquired. "Besides cry over how much you miss me of course." _'I'll be crying over how much I miss you like a pathetic child.' _I thought as I chuckled at what was supposed to be a joke.

"When I'm not busy worrying about you, I'll be at work. Then John and Veronica invited me over to their place for dinner. So I won't have to eat alone." Brian said. "Then the next day I'll be at work again and hopefully by the time I'm done with work you'll be home."

"Yeah and I'll introduce you to Clem when I get back. He'll love you, Bri. Don't worry about that. On the long ride home I'll give you a stellar introduction. By the time you two meet he'll know you as the hero who saved my eyes. You'll definitely get his blessing." I speculated.

"I wasn't aware I needed his blessing." Brian remarked.

I shrugged. "It would be nice if you got it. Before he went away Uncle Clem was much more of a father to me than Michael." Of course I hadn't heard from Uncle Clem in fifteen years, but I was still super eager to catch up. I figured he had written us over the years but Michael kept the letters from me. I couldn't have read them anyway and there was no point in me sending him stuff written in Braille.

As I reminisced over Uncle Clem, it wasn't long before Mom and William arrived to pick me up. I was excited for the adventure and reunion with Uncle Clem, but I wasn't so keen on saying goodbye to Brian.

"Call me every chance you get, okay?And don't go wandering around on your own. Always make sure you're with William or Winifred or Clem. I don't want you getting lost. You know maybe you should bring Ringo with you? I know he's technically not your service dog anymore but I'd feel better if you had him with you." Brian advised.

"Blimey! The boy's not going off to war. It's a day and a half trip to Edinburgh." William exclaimed. "You're mothering him worse than his own mother...No offense, Winnie, dear. I just can't stand helicopter parents."

"If you had kids of your own you'd understand." Mom stated. "Brian's right, sweetheart, you should bring Ringo. You've never traveled this far without him."

"That's not a bad idea." I said. Having Ringo with me would make the travel and night alone less overwhelming.

"What? No! Don't bring the dog. Dogs are so slobbery. How about we bring one of my cats instead?" William cried.

"Yeah well too bad cause I'm bringing him." I decided.

I called Ringo over and gave him a pet watching as his tail wagging vigorously. "Yes, you're going to come with us, buddy! And we're going to have fun. Road trip!" I giggled when he licked me. I knew William couldn't resist both of our puppy dog eyes. "Fine." He huffed. "The dog can come with us. But don't make me clean up after him. It's your responsibility."

"Alright." Brian pulled me into a hug. "Do you have everything?"

"I think so." I replied. "Now don't have too much fun without me."

"Come on! Let's get a move on! I wanna arrive before nightfall thank you very much." William urged cutting our goodbye kiss short.

"See you in two days!" I announced.

"I'll be counting the hours till you get back." Brian sounded sarcastic, but I think there was some truth to that.

I set my suitcase down in the trunk of William's car and then settled myself in the backseat for the long drive. I waved out the window to Brian who blew me a kiss, watching as he became nothing but a blur in the far away distance.

***

"What is the matter with you? Do we need to pull over for another walk?" I asked as Ringo squirmed next to me. He was usually so well behaved, but it seemed like for some reason he couldn't sit still by my feet as he was trained to do during car rides.

"I told you bringing that mutt was a bad idea." William sighed.

I finally gave in and let Ringo jump up onto the seat beside me, but that didn't make him any less angsty. He stuck his nose in the crevice between the seat, whimpering anxiously. "Ohh." I realized. "There must be something you want in there. Maybe some food." I wiggled my hand into the tight space and felt around grasping what felt like a small plastic bag. I pulled out my finding revealing a ziploc filled with sugar of all the things in the world.

"ROGER MEDDOWS TAYLOR!" I dropped the bag in shock, not expecting Mom to shriek like that. Startled as well, William swerved the car and eventually pulled over. "Christ! I thought a car was coming toward us. Why would you scream like that? You nearly gave me a sheer heart attack!" William cried. "You okay back there, Rog?" He turned to see me in the backseat, but his jaw dropped when he spotted the sugar bag on the floor.

"Where did you get that?" Mom demanded. "I know Brian would never allow that. He's a good influence on you. So who gave it to you?"

"Don't worry, honey. It's not Roger's. It's mine." William said snatching the bag. "I confiscated it from one of my students the other day. I was going to turn it into the authorities, but I forgot and left it in the backseat. Good thing Roger found it before someone got the wrong idea."

"It's just sugar." I blurted. "Why are you acting like it's a drug?" Oh wait... Today I learned that cocaine looked like salt, and salt looked like sugar.

"It's sugar." Mom said taking on a condescending tone that should be used for a child rather than her grown adult son. "That's right, baby. That's all it is. Nothing to concern yourself with."

Yup, it was definitely cocaine. Ringo was trained to be a seeing eye dog alongside dogs trained to sniff for drugs at airports, so it made sense he discovered it. Although I wanted to be certain that I was looking at cocaine because Brian didn't give me a clear answer about the drug's appearance earlier.

**Me**🚗: _Does cocaine look like sugar/salt?_

I directed my question to the group chat. I expected Brian to be the first to reply, but it was Freddie.

**Freddie**😺:_ Roger what did you do?_

Seconds later I got the predictable response from Brian.

**Brian**👀😍: _Are you in trouble? What happened? -Bri_

**Me**🚗: _I think we're driving to a prison with a ziploc bag full of cocaine in the car._

**Freddie**😺: _I repeat: ROGER WHAT DID YOU DO?_

**John**☺️: Just say no!

**Freddie**😺: _Good job darling! That's right. Stay away from drugs. You're too innocent for any of that. Roger there are children on this group chat. Keep it appropriate!_

**John**☺️:_ Yesterday in this very group chat you literally texted us this picture._

**John**☺️: _How is that appropriate but talk of drugs isn't??_

**Jim**🌻:_ You are a work of art!!!_😍

**Freddie**😺: _ILY! You're making me blush darling_😘

We were getting off track. I needed to know if we were bringing an illegal substance to a prison or not.

**Me**🚗: _Can someone please tell me what cocaine looks like?_

**Brian**👀😍**: **_What the hell is going on? -Bri_

**Jim**🌻: _It's a white powder like sugar or salt._

Okay that answered my question. That was cocaine in the bag. The best idea would be to get rid of the drug before we arrived at the prison. Otherwise we would all end up behind bars.

**Freddie**😺**: **_Shush! We cannot talk about drugs in front of my creampuff!_

**John**☺️: _But pictures of you practically naked are OK?_

**Brian**👀😍: _Roger what is happening??? -Bri_

**Me**🚗: _William confiscated cocaine from one of his students and meant to turn it over to the police but he just forgot about it and now it's in his car and we're going to a prison with it._

**John**☺️: _Give it to the guards at the prison and explain that it is not yours. Tell them the truth! You didn't do anything wrong. And if you get in trouble legally Miami can help you._

**Brian**👀😍: _Have William turn it in. He was supposed to do that to begin with. -Bri_

**Freddie**😺**: **_Just let me know if I have to break anyone out of prison!_

**Jim**🌻**: **_Maybe we shouldn't be texting this kind of stuff. Looks suspicious _👀😅

**Freddie**😺**: **_I agree. John has his whole life ahead of him and a baby creampuff on the way. He shouldn't be throwing it all away and getting involved in criminal conspiracies and drug cartels. My baby is too precious for a thug life!_

**John**☺️**: **_Wait what?_

**Freddie**😺**: **_It's OK my little creampuff I'll protect you_💕

**Brian**👀😍**: **_Roger I think all this talk on drugs and prison has broken the group chat -Bri_

**Me**🚗**: **_Shut up!_

The car came to a stop. I looked out the window at our surroundings. We were parked in front of an austere building with tiny slit windows hidden behind a tall fortress fence with ominous curls atop it. I'd read descriptions of prisons and now understood what I was viewing as barbed wire. I shuddered. "This is minimum security?" I could only imagine the facility for violent offenders where Michael was residing.

"Not exactly." Mom said. "Roger, why don't you wait here in the car. William and I just need to take care of something."

Then it hit me. "You're visiting Michael aren't you?"

"We'll only be a few minutes then we'll go pick up Clem. Just stay in the car, dear. William will leave the engine on." Mom said.

There was no way in hell I'd allow this. Here I thought Mom was making such good progress in moving on, but perhaps I was still blind. "Why the hell are you going to see him? I thought we all agreed you'd be cutting him out of your life forever. What happened to all that talk of starting anew? Does it mean nothing to you?" I cried.

"I just need to convince him to sign some papers. That's all. It shouldn't concern you. Stay in the car."

Sign some papers? "Oh thank God! You're going through with the divorce." I concluded. "I'm proud of you, Mom."

"Well no shit. Of course she's divorcing that son of a bitch. I'm here to back her up for moral support and to show that Neanderthal Michael what a real man looks like!" William proclaimed. "Just do as your mother says and stay in the car. This shouldn't take very long."

I shook my head. "I'm coming with you." I wanted to finally see Michael in the flesh and tell him that this was a final goodbye and I was happy and better off without him. We all were, not just me but also Mom and Clare. It would be excellent closure on that literal dark period of my life. Also if I was there this way I'd be sure that Mom wasn't double down and she seriously was leaving his sorry ass.

"Roger, I really don't think you ought to come along. It's really something that needs to be settled between me and Michael. And besides, there are some frightening things you might see inside the prison. I'm not sure I want you exposed to that."

"I'm an adult. I can make my own decisions. You'd probably let Clare come with you, so I don't understand what the problem is." I boldly pointed out her double standard. "Come on, Ringo! Let's go see Michael for the first and last time."

"You're an adult," Mom agreed, "but...."

"Just let him tag along." William shrugged. "Good life experience to see a prison. You ever hear of the Scared Straight Program?"

"Oh God! Is that one of those disgusting conversion therapies?" I cried.

"What? No. It's where a bunch of delinquents spend the day in jail like real convicts and it deters them from a life of crime. Of course now we all coddle our kids instead of disciplining them. What you're referring to is a different kind of scared straight, and that does not work in any way shape or form." He clarified. "If I may cater to the youths of this generate and quote their beloved philosopher Taylor Swift: Shade never made anybody less gay. Conversion therapies are barbaric and should be outlawed in my opinion. I'm tough on crime, but being gay is in no way a crime. Anyone who thinks that is just ignorant and I can't stand igornadnce."

"I'm glad we're on the same page." I nodded. I didn't care what Brian thought. William had some redeeming qualities. He recognized that sexual orientation wasn't a choice and wasn't judgemental about it, so that put him leaps and bonds ahead of all the homophobes out there.

LGBTQ+ acceptance aside, William was also on my side when it came to encouraging me to be independent and experience things. He somehow convince Mom to let me go with them to visit Michael. I doubt she would have permitted this if it were just the two of us.

We were ushered inside the ominous building by officers and escorted down a dark windowless hallway through metal detectors and given additional pat downs. As the guard groped me I noticed out of the corner of my eye William discreetly slipping the cocaine alongside money into the one of the officer's pockets. Why would he be bribing the officer? Wouldn't the truth be enough? "Alright, you're all clear! Your service dog is permitted as well." The guard announced.

"Let's get this over with." William grunted pretending like nothing had happened. Perhaps he thought I hadn't seen him. Peripheral vision may be a new concept for me, but I could see it all regardless.

The next room was just as stark as the barren hall. Rows of booths were lined up with people making phone calls on either side of a glass barrier. I assumed the inmates were on the other side of the glass as they were all dressed in orange and tan jumpsuits. Then I locked blue eyes with a familiar looking man who sat in the second to final cubicle. Again it caught me off guard how normal Michael looked. He had my blue eyes that were glazed with disinterest rather than pure contempt as he bit down on his thin lower lip. The three of us squeezed into the booth and Ringo nestled himself by my feet, resting his face on my lap as if he could sense my unease.

Mom unhooked the phone and Michael did the same. "So you found a new sugar daddy?" His voice confirmed that this face did indeed belong to my father.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" William shouted clenching his fists.

"William is my soulmate, Michael. This has nothing to do with money." Mom remained calm. "We're happily together now so I'd appreciate it if you signed those divorce papers. I want to put an official end to our relationship."

"After everything we've been through? You're just going to abandon me! Christ Winnie! I'm the father of your children. Where's the girl anyway? I've got a beef with her. She was the one who pressed charges and put all these wild thoughts in your head that you can do better than me."

"You're in here because you pushed her down the stairs, and you know you've done way more than just that over the years!" I surprised myself by speaking out. "Clare was right to press charges on Mom's behalf. She's a clever girl and you should listen to her from time to time. You'd be surprised how great she is no thanks to you. And guess what Mom can do a lot better than you. We all can."

"Why'd you bring him here?" Michael addressed Mom and ignored me. "And why'd you bring your boyfriend here? What the hell do you want, Winifred?"

"I thought I made myself very clear. I want those divorce papers signed." Mom stated.

"What difference does it make? While I'm in here you can fuck whoever you want. So what do you care if we're still married? You'll still be cheating on me regardless."

"It makes a difference." William said. "Roger's father-in-law is a lawyer, so if you refuse to sign we'll just get a court order. This divorce is happening whether you like it or not. Winifred, Clare, and Roger are all going break free from your grasp."

"Ahh, that's why you're here." Michael's scornful grin sent shivers down my spine. "You want to invite me to Roger's wedding."

"H-How do you know about that?" I slid my other hand over my engagement ring hiding it. Michael didn't deserve to see it or know that I was getting married.

"I told him." Mom admitted.

Betrayal--it hit me in the face like a glove. Mom really was keeping contact with Michael and telling him about my life without my permission. "What? Why? How could you?" I shouted.

"Roger, damn it!" She cried. "You should've stayed in the car. You love cars so much. You wouldn't have minded it, but now you're miserable."

"Everyone calm down!" William exclaimed. "Michael, just sign the bloody papers so I can be with Winnie and Roger can get married and we can all be happy."

"W-What does the divorce have to do with my wedding?" I inquired.

"I'm so glad you asked, Roger." Michael smirked. "I'm afraid you're not allowed to get married until you have my written consent alongside Winifred's."

I rolled my eyes. "You were never good at joking."

"Roggie, he's not joking. I...I wanted to settle this, so you wouldn't have to know and worry about it...I'm so sorry, baby." Mom nearly broke down. "I thought I could fix it before you would ever find out. I-I just want you to be happy."

"Find out what? What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"Don't you remember, Roger?" Michael interjected. "We went to the courthouse on your eighteenth birthday."

"Oh God!" I did remember that. It was the day I naively signed my rights away. Since I was disabled and unable to live on my own, my parents assumed guardianship over me even though I was an adult. A judge approved the decision after hearing from several doctors all confirming that I was forever blind. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time when I signed (in Braille) a court approved status deeming me more or less the equivalent of a minor in the eyes of the law. Even when I was living with John I still wasn't fully independent. I still relied on my parents, and I figured I'd always need someone. When Clare turned eighteen she even signed a legal document mandating that she become my caretaker if anything happened to Mom and Dad. I accepted that as well. I assumed I would always be dependent on someone. I never imagined my life would ever change this drastically where I could basically function on my own. Now that I no longer had an impediment I needed that decision reversed. How dare Michael have the audacity to block my wedding!

"Well there's no need to cry about it." William said. "We'll lawyer up and get a judge to overturn the ruling. Clearly you're a competent adult now. You don't need Michael's permission to get married. You don't need anyone's permission for any decisions you make. So if you fuck up, it's all on you. No pressure."

Note to self: Call Miami ASAP. I wasn't letting this legal bullshit get in the way of my wedding and the rest of my life. I was responsible for my own decisions which was a frightening thought, but I knew marrying Brian wasn't something I'd ever come to regret.

"Just sign the papers and end this peacefully, Michael." Mom begged. "Roger won't be in your custody anymore if we get a divorce. You won't have to worry about the marriage or any of that."

"I think I should worry about it. I don't even know who my son is marrying after all. You know that wasn't nice of you to never introduce me to your fiancé, Roger."

"Since when did you ever give a damn about me? Brian treats me the way I deserve, so you shouldn't be concerned. I'm marrying him no matter what." I declared.

"Brian?" Michael repeated. "So you're still gay, huh?"

"We were having this conversation earlier. You can't change who you are, Michael, and those who don't accept sexual orientations are ignorant." William said.

"I wasn't talking to you!" Michael shouted. "So, this is a real thing, Roger? You weren't just confused cause you couldn't differentiate men from women. You've seen cock and you fancy it? Have you seen any tits?"

I cringed at his vulgarity. It was like coming out all over again. At least now unlike before I had somebody to love. "I was gay before I got my sight back and I'm still gay now. Being able to see has noting to do with it."

"Whatever. You were always a lost cause anyway. If Clare's not a lesbian then at least we did one thing right." Michael remarked.

"I love my babies unconditionally and I wish you did as well." Mom said. "If you don't sign the papers by the end of the week I'll get a court order. One way or another I'm getting that divorce and Roger will be out of your custody."

"The divorce is out of the question but I'd give Roger my written blessing for him to get married if it wasn't to a stranger. I don't think I approve of Brian. A real man would have asked the father of the bride—assuming Roger is the bitch—for his son's hand in marriage. You know the traditional way like a good old fashioned lover boy."

"I am nobody's bitch!" I shouted.

"You never asked my father. We just eloped when I turned 18." Mom pointed out.

"Introduce me to Brian and I'll see if he's worthy. If not, then I refuse to sign a thing." Michael gave an ultimatum.

"This is bullshit!" I shouted.

"Hey you should be grateful. At least there's a chance for you. Not too long ago you couldn't have gotten married period."

"Fuck you!" I didn't even know why I was here. Maybe I should have stayed in the car after all. I didn't know what enraged me more. The fact that Mom tried to cover this up to make me feel better instead of just telling me the truth, the possibility of Michael barring my wedding, or the idea of Michael forever having control over me. Why did I have to sign that stupid paper when I was eighteen anyway? All I ever wanted was autonomy and respect. Was that too much to ask for? I stormed out of the building in a fury nearly tripping on my own two feet as the guards escorted me out.

I crouched down on the grass overlooking the parking lot, buried my head between my knees and pathetically cried in a curled up little ball. Next to me Ringo whimpered trying to get my attention but I continued to sob. Frustration? Self pity? Whatever it was, why couldn't I just toughen up?

"Hey! Hey!" William forcefully pulled me out of my fetal position. "I told you not to cry over this, didn't I? What's the matter with you, boy? Are you serious going to let that dolt get into your head? He's not worth all this energy. What is he gonna do to you? He's behind bars and you've got yourself a restraining order for when he's out. As for all that other shit about him controlling you, you can just get it all overturned in court. Trust me. The divorce will go through and you'll get your life back. You won't need Michael or Winifred's permission to do anything. Now why you'd wanna marry Brian is beyond me, but it's your prerogative."

I sniffled. "You really think it'll be that easy?"

"Your father-in-law's a lawyer. He'll take care of you. It'll be fine." He assured me. "Now if you really wanna be a capable adult, stop crying like a child and man up. I swear if I had kids of my own I'd send 'em to boot camp so all this wimpy shit wouldn't be tolerated."

"There you two are!" Mom approached us with a small smile as if nothing was wrong. She was always good at pretending when it came to Michael. Like if she'd just close her eyes suddenly he'd be a good person.

"I shouldn't have signed over my rights. I let you brainwash me into believing I'd always be dependent on somebody." I said bluntly.

"Honey, you don't understand. Right after you left, Michael had a change of heart...sort of. The guards found some drugs stashed in his cell and gave him with five more years. I told him that I'd get him a decent defense lawyer to see if that extra time can be overthrown if he agrees to sign the divorce papers." She held up the signed papers her smile growing even wider. "You don't have to worry, Roger. Once I file these, you won't be in his custody anymore. You can still get married. See, I told you I'd settle this." 

"Drugs?" I looked to William who scratched his beard in bewilderment that seemed almost staged. Yeah he probably bribed that guard to plant the cocaine in Michael's cell. Not all heroes wear capes. However, I had bigger concerns on my mind right now. 

"Mom, I need my life back. I don't want to be your ward forever. I'll be damned if I have to seek your bloody permission to get married to the man who gave me my freedom."

"But I'm allowing you to get married. I don't see what the problem is." She frowned. 

"That's not the point!" I exclaimed. "I don't need a fucking guardian. I'm over 18. I have a job. I can function on my own."

"He's right, Winnie." William said. "It's only fair. You're not Clare's guardian anymore. It's time you let your baby boy spread his wings and fly away."

"But that's different. Clare is...I mean she isn't...Roggie, you need someone to take care of you. You always have and you still do. Just because it's Brian now and not me doesn't mean--"

"--He's my boyfriend not my caregiver! Do you really think I'd be marrying him if that were the case?" 

Before Mom could say anything else, I slumped into the backseat of the car. The rest of the ride was silent as we went to pick up Uncle Clem. Maybe things would get better with this reunion because right now I was regretting not staying back with Brian. 

I checked my phone. Several texts and missed calls from Brian and Freddie spamming the group chat with more talk of creampuffs and how much he loved Jim. I focused on the stuff from Brian.

**Brian**👀😍**: **_Did you pick up Clem yet? -Bri  
_

**Brian**👀😍**: **_  
_

_You should know I'm_ _in good company. Meet Sally J our newest badger. -Bri_

**Brian**👀😍**: **_Is everything ok?-Bri_

**Brian**👀😍**: **_Why aren't you responding? -Bri__  
_

**Brian**👀😍**: **_Roger are you there? -Bri_

He worried about me, but that was normal right? Our dynamic was still healthy. This time apart proved that I could be independent. I sighed. 

**Me**🚗**: **_Am I too dependent on you?_

**Brian**👀😍**: **_You're alive!!! -Bri__  
_

"Roger, put your phone away." William dictated. "You just got your vision back but you're gonna waste it staring at a screen all day long. Typical." 

**Me**🚗**: **_Smith is bitching about me using my phone. I'll talk to you later. Love you!_😘

I shut off my phone and put it away so I could look out the window some more. The building where Clem resided was industrial, but it certainly wasn't as sinister as the former prison. Just a typical dull office-like building with bricks painted in a light brownish color. It wasn't very warm and welcoming to say the least, but I wasn't afraid to explore it like the latter. William parked the car and we ventured inside. 

"Uncle Clem here we come!" I murmured, hoping for the best. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Roger will get all this legal stuff sorted out soon, but first it's Uncle Clem time! Stay tuned for the reunion we've all been waiting for next chapter!


	22. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger has to accept Uncle Clem's flaws.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha guess who got a C+ on her paper and literally cried over it? That's right: This gal! I've gotten bad grades before, but this is the first time a prof has called my writing "superficial" and he took off points for messing up MLA (that's fair because I did mess it up regrettably) so I'm kinda pissed. If I can ace all the rest of the assignments including the midterm and final I can still probably get an A, but at this point I'll be cool with a B because the class is a lot harder than I expected.
> 
> Anyway onto more "important" stuff...
> 
> So I started a one-shot book for this series. If you have any requests or prompts or ideas of Roger seeing something for the first time that I didn't already cover just let me know.
> 
> With that all out of the way, let's get that reunion started!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:  
This chapter is emotional all around but there's a very intense scene with a homophobic slur at the end. So be prepared for that!

_15 years ago..._

Winifred didn't expect the house to be so quiet without Clem. Michael was away at work, but she expected him to be home soon bitching about all the screaming Karens he encountered at his job. That was to be expected when you're the manager. Whether it's at the Ritz or Michael's case the local McDonalds, the Karens will always find you. Hopefully Michael would make enough money in his position to support them now that Clem couldn't help out. Say what you want about Michael, but at least he made a living in an honest manner unlike Clem. Winifred knew her husband wasn't perfect, but he worked his way up from lowly cashier all the way to manager, and he was there for her. Still, she worried about how her children would cope with Clem's absence.

Clare was a bright girl, but still too young to fully understand the gravity of the situation. She cried for a bit, but ultimately said, "He'll be back soon, right, Mommy? Time out doesn't last forever." Winifred didn't know what to tell the sweet girl. For now Clare seemed satisfied with the answer that eventually Uncle Clem would be back.

But as usual, it was Roger she was more concerned about. He was oddly too accepting of the whole situation. No tears or outbursts, he was just...eerily silent. It was unsettling to say the least. The boy hadn't said a word since Clem was sentenced. That wasn't like him at all, and it scared Winifred as much as it pleased Michael to have some peace and quiet for once.

"Roger, Clare, supper is ready!" She announced.

Clare stumbled into the kitchen with a grumbling tummy. Somehow her pigtails had become undone. Winifred laughed and redid them for her. "Where's Roger?" She asked as Clare squirmed beneath the pull of the hairbrush. Clare shrugged. "I thought he was with you."

"Roger?" Winifred called again. She paused, giving him time to enter the kitchen, but when he didn't arrive she began to panic. He could be hurt. "Roger!" Winifred screamed frantically. She ran to his room. "Roger, you better be in here!" He wasn't. Oh God! Her poor baby was missing! What was she going to do? "Roger?" Winifred knew he wasn't in the garage playing his drums because she would be able to hear it. Still, she checked. "Roggie? Please! Are you here?" No, he wasn't. The garage was vacant; the drums sat untouched.

Clare meanwhile took a seat at the kitchen table giggling to herself. "I know where he is." Winifred let out a sigh of relief. "You do? Is he okay? Tell me Clare, tell me!"

With a fit of laughter, Clare pointed to the cupboard beneath the sink. "Silly bean is hiding in there."

_"Shut up, Clare! I'm not hiding. I'm going on a hunger strike." _Roger's voice was muffled, but the source was identifiable.

"Baby!" Winifred squealed crouching down to open the cupboard, but the door was jammed. Roger was a shrimp, but it was still astonishing that he could fit in there. He must be so uncomfortable. How did he get in there? Was it possible he mistook it for his closet or something? "Oh don't panic, love, I'll get you out of there."

_"No, you won't. I'm staying in here until Uncle Clem comes back and takes me to Chicago like he promised."_

Now Winifred understood. Roger was in there by choice. "Honey, did you purposefully lock yourself in there?"

_"Yes. I'm trying to prove a point. In school I learned that a bunch of women went on a hunger strike to get the right to vote. So in order to get what you want you have to go big or go home. I'm not coming out of here and I'm not eating until Uncle Clem takes me to Chicago."_

"Roger, you can't stay in there for fifteen years." Winifred blurted.

"Fifteen years? You told me he'd be back soon, Mommy! That's not soon!" Clare cried. "Why is he leaving us for so long?" Shit! Winifred was falling apart. One of her kids was stuck in the cupboard and the other was crying over something she couldn't fix. How could she fix this? What could she do? Clem wasn't coming back and without him she couldn't afford that doctor's trip in Chicago.

"Roger, you need to get out of there!" Winifred put her foot down.

_"No. I really don't. I'll stay in here for the rest of my life if I have to."_

"No you can't! It's so cramped and dark and--" She stopped herself knowing she had misspoke. That was a bad word choice.

_"No difference in here than out there. It's all dark."_

"You know what I mean, sweetheart." Winifred tried to talk some sense into her poor boy, but she knew it was know use.

_"No I don't know what you mean. I never will. Unless you lie to me like Uncle Clem did and tell me that I can go to Chicago and finally see light. Everyone lies. Even the people who tell the truth are liars. Roger, you can do anything you want. Uncle Clem and my teachers tell me that a lot. Guess what I can't. I'm not gonna be a race car driver. I'm not gonna be a dentist. I'm not gonna be anything because everything is dark and there's nothing I can do."_

Why did Clem have to steal? At the very least why did he have to promise Roger that trip to Chicago? It just made his departure even more heartbreaking. One day they might have enough money to travel and pay for the surgery, but what if it didn't even work? Winifred didn't know what to do.

Then Michael came home. She was so grateful. In a matter of minutes he soothed the entire situation. Winifred stood by as he pried open the cupboard and yanked Roger out against his will, leaving a small bruise on his arm. "You need to discipline these kids better, Winnie. Be forceful. That's parenting. Honestly, I think that's where my own parents went wrong. They were too soft on Clem. Now look at him, withering away in a prison cell." He turned to a sobbing Clare. "You got that? Behave yourself or else you're gonna spend the rest of your miserable life behind bars." She instantly quieted. "Good." Michael remarked.

Yes, Michael had hurt Roger and was stern to Clare. Winifred wasn't stupid. She witnessed it and it was distressing to watch. But both Roger and Clare ate their dinner without protest. Michael was right. It was effective parenting. Besides, as Michael had told her time and time again, the world was a cruel place especially to the handicapped, and Roger needed to be prepared for that. After Clem broke his heart, maybe it was best that Roger received some tough love.

"What would you ever do without me?" Michael chuckled as Clare cleaned her plate without being asked.

_Present day..._

_Clem's POV_

I lost a significant amount of weight while in prison. I was given back the street clothes that I had arrived in and found that they were hanging on me. It made sense. The food here was repulsive. So to spare what little shred of dignity I had left, I wore my jumpsuit because it fit me properly. I walked out of the detention center as a free man with nothing but a $20 bill in my wallet and an old flip phone that belonged in an antique store. This thing was state of the art technology when I first bought it. Who knew things could change so rapidly over the coarse of just 15 years?

I blinked as my eyes adjusted to the sun. I really missed common luxuries like sunglasses, but at this point I was just grateful to no longer be in a small fenced area like cattle. I spotted Winifred waving to me. She hadn't changed too much over the years sparing a few frown lines and grey hairs. Next to her was an unfamiliar man who was tall with a beard, but I didn't care about that stranger. My focus was on the young man leaning back against the car clutching the leash of a panting dog. "Roger!" I gasped. Instead of the classic Beatles haircut he had as a kid, his hair had grown long, almost to his shoulders and was blowing messily around in the wind. Roger had always been a cute boy, but now that he had grown up he had taken that cuteness to a whole new level. If he didn't have a girlfriend by now, there was something seriously wrong with this world.Who cares if he was blind, Roger was just as handsome as any of the rockstars the girls flocked to. I'd definitely be telling him how good he looked to reinstate some confidence. There weren't too many mirrors available in prison but even I was afforded the simple vanity of staring at my own face. Roger's struggle really put things in perspective for me. But now I was here to make it all better for him.

"Hi Clem!" Winifred rushed to give me a hug. "This is my soulmate William." She introduced the man at her side.

Soulmate? When the hell did that happen? Did Winifred finally leave my asshole brother like she should have long ago? Good for her! It was about damn time!

"How are you doing? I'm Will Smith but not the one you're thinking of." He shook my hand.

"Oh we have so much to catch up on!" Winifred squealed. "You won't believe all that's happened! I guess we should start with the elephant in the room. My baby can finally s—"

"—Sleep in peace at night because you kissed Michael's sorry ass goodbye. I'm so proud of you, Winnie!" I exclaimed.

"That's true." She acknowledged, "but I was going to say something else."

"You're getting jiggy with it with Will Smith over here, I get it." I laughed.

"Oh God no!" Roger face palmed. The dog growled slightly in response to his cringe. I might get a lot of hate for this but dogs are better than cats in my opinion. They're man's best friend for a reason. Clearly this adorable fella was super smart and in touch with Roger's emotions. I grinned and nodded toward Winifred. "Finally did right by the boy and got him a seeing eye dog."

I let the dog sniff my hand before giving him a pet. "Aren't you cute?" I cooed when he wagged his tail and licked me.

"Ringo Starr." Roger blurted.

"Hmm?"

"That's his name. Ringo Starr. Like the Beatle."

"Well obviously like the Beatle. I'm not sure I know of any other Ringo Starrs." I replied. I wanted to give Roger a big hug, but knowing from experience it was better to talk to him first, just to let him know I was here. The last thing I wanted was to startle him with an unseen embrace or at worse trigger a panic attack. It had been so long I might as well break the ice with some awkward chit chat to ensure he still remembered my voice. "So, you're still drumming, right, Rog?" 

"Of course. I love it." Roger broke the small talk short and put his hand to my face, touching all of my features curiously. "Sorry. I-I just...it's been a while since I heard your voice. I need to make sure it's really you before I commit your face to memory."

"Yeah it has been a while since..." We locked eyes as I realized the implications of what Roger had just said. Holy shit! "Y-You...you see me?" I gasped.

"Y-Yeah." Roger nodded. "I um...Fuck!" He sniffled, wiping stray tears. "Sorry...bit emotional. I...um...got my sight back about five months ago."

I was speechless. After all these years, Roger was finally looking back at me. His eyes were functioning. It was everything I had prayed for delivered like a Christmas present with a pretty bow.I opened my mouth to say something but literally nothing came to mind.

"S-So it's you." Roger confirmed putting his hand down. "Hi Uncle Clem."

"My boy." I sobbed giving him that hug at last. "I've missed you, Roggie. Haven't stopped thinking about you. All I wanted to do was help you, but it seems like you've managed to help yourself. You found your own miracle. Screw that doctor from Chicago. Unless of course he was the one who gave you your eyes back. Was it him? Or a different a doctor? Or a freak accident? Oh who gives a damn. You see! You see!"

"First guess was right, it was a bloody miracle." Roger sighed. "After my last surgery, I gave up hope. But then I met my**—**Son of a bitch!" He cursed when his phone rang interrupting his heart felt story. Roger's potty mouth probably came from me. I shouldn't have swore so much around him as a youth.

"Are you gonna answer that?" I asked.

"Nah, it can wait. This is more important. Trust me he'll understand." Roger put his phone back in his pocket not bothering to pick up. "Now where was I?"

"We can continue this conversation in the car." William said. "It's almost nightfall and this isn't the best neighborhood."

"No shit. Decent people love living near a prison." I snapped sarcastically. Roger laughed. I missed that. I bet he laughed a lot more frequently now that he got his sight back.

"You really do see me?" I marveled at those eyes staring up right at me with precision.

"Yes." Roger replied with a warm smile. "I finally see you."

William honked the car horn. I rolled my eyes and got into the backseat next to Roger. Not too much space back here but thankfully Roger was pretty small.

"So you must have seen yourself in the mirror by now?" I ventured. "I bet you were blown away by your own good looks."

"Actually the first time I saw myself I thought I was a demon." Roger chuckled. "The mirror was way up on top of the shelf so I just saw my head floating and not the rest of my body. Scared the crap out of me."

"Roger's a model now." Winifred announced. "My baby boy has always been so handsome."

"A model? Really?" I gasped. I could see it. With a face like that it was destined to happen. Maybe Roger could be the model and spokesperson for Clementine's Miracle Juice. A pretty face was always a great appeal for marketing. Although I wanted Roger engaged in a career that would satisfy him. "Do you like modeling?"

"It's fun and I'm starting to get recognized by a bunch of squealing girls among others." He replied.

Ah yes. I assumed getting all the ladies riled up was a major perk of being a hot model. "You probably have a girlfriend by now if not two or three." Roger crinkled his nose in distaste.

"Two or three? I raised him better than that Clem!" Winifred cried.

"I know, I know. I'm just teasing. Don't look so disgusted, Rog." I didn't know why he had gone so pale all of a sudden. I was sure he had some dating experience by now. Even if it was with another blind girl. "You've found yourself a bird by now, haven't you?"

"Well um it depends what you mean by bird." Roger said softly.

"I mean a girlfriend." I said bluntly. Then I realized I was being too forward and making him uncomfortable. Five months ago he was still blind, so he probably had other priorities besides getting laid. It was superficial of me to assume that he—

"I'm gay."

Oh. I did not see that one coming. There was a dead silence, and Roger looked down at his feet anxiously, clutching Ringo's leash so tightly his knuckles went white. What did he think I was going to say? Was there any way I'd stop loving him? Never! Did Michael disown him for something he had no control over? Maybe that was why Roger was so upset now. Well I was gonna reassure him that it didn't matter at all to me. Hell, even as a straight man I was gay for Rami Malek so go figure.

"So is your boyfriend as hot as you? Because you deserve one good looking man."

Roger let out a sigh of relief. "He's the absolute best thing that's ever happened to me. I can't wait for you to meet him, Uncle Clem."

Yes! I knew I was right and Roger wasn't single. Looks had a lot to do with it, but he had a lot to offer beyond that especially now that he had his vision. There was no stopping him now!

"Well any guy would be lucky to have you." I spotted the ring on Roger's finger shining as brightly as his smile. "He must be extra special." I remarked.

"He is." Roger beamed.

"Not special enough to get an A." William interjected.

"I don't care how Brian did in your stupid class. I love him. And you should be nicer to him."

Brian. I got a name. Obviously he and Roger were serious if Roger was walking around with that ring and spoke so highly of him.

"I just enjoy messing with him. It's fun." Willian chuckled. "And it's not just Brian. All of my students I like to tease."

"Well I wish you'd cut it out because Brian is--Ohmygod! Look at that Porsche! Look at that Porsche! It's beautiful!" Distracted, Roger stuck his nose up against the window. Sure enough, a Porsche Cayenne pulled up next to us as William rolled into the gas station. The topic of Brian was long forgotten as my nephew fumbled with the lock and scrambled out of the car.

"Roggie! Wait for us! Don't go wandering round the gas station on your own." Winifred reprimanded.

"The boy's not a child anymore, Winnie." I said as I stepped out of the car and stretched my legs. "Oh, but Rog, you might not want to talk to stranger--" Too late, Roger had already struck up a conversation with the man pumping gas into the Porsche. "I love your car! It's the machine of a dream!"

"Thanks. She takes premium gas. Only the very best for my baby." The man patted the hood of his car.

"See! Other people are like me when it comes to cars. I'm not crazy." Roger exclaimed. "When I finally get my license I'm gonna get a car. Probably not one as expensive as that, but definitely a sexy red car like it."

"Red?" I repeated. Red. Oh my God! "Roger, you see color!" Wow! That could only mean one thing. "You've met your soulmate."

"Yeah." Roger murmured, still mesmerized by the car. "S-Sorry, what did you say?"

"Nice talking to you!" The man called as he finished pumping the gas and drove away. Roger's eyes were glued to the vehicle as it sped by us.

"Bri made an appointment with the DMV for me next week to get my learners' permit. I've been studying really hard for the exam. I'm actually gonna do it. Soon that man will be me." He sighed, lost in thought.

I always told Roger that he was capable of anything he put his mind to, but there were clear limitations holding him back. Now he had nothing to overcome. I could just burst with pride. "You're really happy, aren't you?" Those moments of joy were so rare for Roger, but now there was a sparkle in his new eyes. It wasn't a fleeting distraction from the darkness, Roger was genuinely content. "Never happier." He answered, and I believed him.

I wanted to get more information out of Roger on his love life and how he had gotten his eyes back. Only with everything being so new for him, he was easily distracted. Within seconds his focus shifted to a woman leaving the store with a churro.

"Mom, can you watch Ringo for me while I go in that little shop? I wanna see what's in there." Roger extended the leash to Winifred.

Winifred scratched her head. "Won't they let him in with you? They should. He's a service dog. Why isn't he wearing his vest?"

"He's just my dog now. No offense, buddy." He pet Ringo before stumbling into the store without his mother's permission.

"Clem, go after him! Keep him out of trouble!" Winifred ordered without missing a beat. I could see why Roger remained childlike and it had nothing to do with his vision issues. I didn't want to get in a fight with Winifred right now, but eventually someone had to tell her that her baby boy was an adult now. I entered the store to appease my sister-in-law, but I didn't hover over Roger like she wanted.

"Here's to my first purchase as a free man." I chuckled to myself as I picked up a can of orange soda. Well it said it was orange on the can. I'd need confirmation. "Roggie, come over here." I called to my nephew.

"Oh, do you have money?" Roger asked. "I can buy it for you if you--"

"--No, don't you dare spend any money on me. I just wanna know what color this is. Is it orange?" I had to know for research purposes.

"Yeah. It's orange." Roger frowned. "I thought you told me you met your soulmate. How come you can't see color like me?"

"When did I tell you that? No. I've loved many women over the years but none of them have been my soulmate. You were lucky enough to find yours though." I hoped that would get us back on the subject of Brian who I assumed was Roger's soulmate.

Unfortunately Roger was fixated on other things. "Don't you remember? You said your soulmate wasa princess from some remote island and you met when you traveled overseas to sell mattresses to their royal family. Isn't that true?"

Poor gullible Roggie. I told a lot of tall tales to him and Clare. One story involved me saving my alleged princess soulmate from kidnapping pirates.

"Oh no! Did those pirates kill her?" Roger jumped to conclusions when I hesitated to tell him the truth. "Is that why you can't see color anymore? Uncle Clem I'm so sorry. If Brian ever died and I had to go back to the darkness without him, I'd...I don't know what I'd do. I would kill myself."

"Easy!" I exclaimed. "Slow down. Deep breaths. Let's not escalate things to that drastic of a level. No one is dying and no one is committing suicide. You got that?"

"How do you carry on without your soulmate? My father-in-law was so depressed after losing his wife he had to retire and adopt three children to fill that void in his life. I just can't imagine that grief." Roger rambled.

Time to come clean. "There is no princess. I never went to that fictitious exotic island. I only said a made up royal family sleeps on my mattresses for marketing. I fibbed to you and Clare about my adventures because they made good bed time stories. I thought you'd be smart enough to realize that none of it was true."

"Oh yeah." Roger knocked the soda can out of my hand with a sudden bitterness. "I forgot you're a pathological liar."

"What?" I cried. "Who the hell told you that?" It was probably Michael.

"You lied about the money and your job. Going to Chicago was my last hope, and I was devastated when it all fell apart. I thought I was ready to forgive you, but it's all coming back to me now. All that pain you left behind. I lost the one person who believed in me when you went to prison, Uncle Clem, and finding out that everything you did for me was stolen from somebody else shattered me."

What just happened? Why did Roger turn on me so suddenly? I knew he was quick to anger at times. He got that from Michael. "I'm sorry." I choked. "I know I'm a greedy lying bastard, but the honest to God truth is I love you like a son and only want you to be happy and healthy. I haven't stopped thinking about you and how much I've missed you. I'd do anything for you, Roggie."

"That's the problem. You'd do anything for me, even break the law." Roger sighed. He picked up the soda can. "Here, I'll buy this for you  
with my own money that I earned. Why are you so obsessed with its color anyway?"

Now was definitely not the time to unveil my business endeavor. If I wanted Clementine's Miracle Juice to work out I'd be researching lots of orange drinks for taste, flavor, and other branding ideas. Only for now I shouldn't worry about rebuilding my fortune when the person I was doing all of this for was in distress.

"Roger, what's the matter?" I cried as he paid for my soda with an attitude. "Keep the change!" He barked at the cashier. "Here's your fucking soda, Clem!" Roger all but threw the can at me.

The sky was darkening as I chased Roger out of the shop. Winifred looked to us questioningly as Roger rounded the corner instead of heading back to the car. Before I could stop him, he disappeared into the bathroom overlooking the alleyway and locked the door. Damn those one stall toilets! Even prison had multiple stalls.

"Roger, come on! Don't be like this!" I knocked on the door.

I heard muffled sobs in response. I imagine that little blind boy who believed in me so much, the one who I let down. "Ah, don't cry."

_"Yeah, Bri it's me."_ Roger sniffled. _"I don't know why you're not picking up your phone now after you've been bombarding me nonstop with worried texts and calls asking about me. I-I'm fine. Well...Yeah I am fine. It's stupid. Really stupid. I um I just...Uncle Clem was my childhood hero, and it was easier for me to remember him without a face...I've been denying he did anything wrong. N-Now I see him...and he's owning up to all his lies, a-and it's just a lot for me on top of everything else that's happened today. The truth is hard to look at. I just um I really miss you, Brimi. I wish you were here so I could have someone to talk through all these mixed emotions. I-I owe Uncle Clem an apology. He's asking for forgiveness for what he's done and I'm not letting him move on because I'm still in denial. Nobody is perfect...except you, Brian. Call me back please. I wanna hear your voice. I love you so m—Fuck! I can't record anymore."_

Poor thing. I really broke him. Why couldn't I be a better man? Not even my Miracle Juice could mend this mess I caused. Eventually Roger emerged. "Hi." He said softly.

"Let's start over, Roggie. Would that be alright with you? I know I did fucked up shit but I'll try to do better for you from now on."

"Do better for your own self, not for me." Roger murmured. "Let's start over. I've missed you, Clem Clem." I nearly melted at his old nickname for me. Then he hugged me and I embraced him just as tightly. "I love you, Roger. No matter what lies I spew you can always count on that as the truth."

"No more lies." Roger said firmly.

Oh how I wanted to live up to his expectations and be the Uncle he deserved. "I'll try my best." I vowed. After all, my business wasn't based on lies so much as beefed up truths.

"What took you so long?" William yawned as we meandered back to the car. "Did you at least bring me back a churro?"

***

The sleazy motel we were spending the night in wasn't far from the gas station. Maybe it was a good thing I kept on my prison jumpsuit. I'd scare away any thugs.

"Stay in the car." I told Roger as I went out to see what was taking Winifred and William so long to get us our rooms.

"Clem, you probably want your privacy at long last after having a cellmate for so long. William will get you your own room!" Winifred announced.

"Okay. What about Roger? I don't think it's a good idea for him to sleep here alone." Why were her helicopter skills not going off when they were needed? She babied Roger every chance she got, but now when it truly mattered she left him on his own?

"Well since William and I share a bed, I figured Roger could be in the adjoining one." Winifred said.

"Is Roger okay with that?" I asked skeptically. I doubted he wanted to spend the night with his mother and her boyfriend.

"Oh um I haven't told him or William about that idea yet. William thinks Roger is bunking with you and Roger thinks he's getting his own room." She laughed.

"Why can't he bunk with me?"I asked. "I think that'll be best."

"Alright if you think so." Winifred sighed reluctantly. "You'll keep him safe, right, Clem?"

"You know I will. That boy is always my first priority." I assured her. "I only want what's best for him."

"Sometimes it's hard to tell what's best for him." She admitted.

_5 years ago_

Roger got a job at the library sorting books in the Braille section. It was good for him to get out of the house, but Winifred feared for him entering the real world now that he was done with high school. She couldn't afford to send him to a special university for the blind, and it was too far for him to commute. There was no way Winifred would let Roger move out. He relied on her for pretty much everything.

The door opened and Roger entered without hesitation as he was familiar with this house having lived here for seventeen years. He could easily find his way around. More reason for him to stay here forever.

_"Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun..." _Roger sang merrily. "..._And I say it's all right."_

Oh good! Roger was in one of his rare chipper moods. Michael warned Winifred that he'd be coming home in tears a lot because people wouldn't have the patience to deal with him and he'd likely get hurt. Working seemed to have the opposite effect as he returned home (navigated his way back all on his own) every day with a bright smile. After Roger's last and final failed surgery, Winifred was scared she'd never see that happy face again. She was grateful to be wrong.

_"...Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting_

_Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear_

_Here comes the su--" _Roger abruptly stopped singing and the grin faded slightly. He twisted his neck in either direction as if that would help him see somehow. "Hello? Mom? Clare? Are you home?"

"I'm here, baby!" Winifred announced. "Clare's still at school. Dad's at work."

He nodded. "Listen, Mom, I've got some big news. I um...I met somebody."

"Oh!" She gasped. "Is he handsome?"

"What? Um I wouldn't know. And I'm in no way interested in him like that. In fact I helped him meet his soulmate. You remember the librarian, Veronica? That sweet girl we met with to ask if I can help out in the Braille section?"

"Oh yes. Very nice girl."

"Yeah well today I met this bloke named John and it turns out that he and Ronnie are soulmates. I set them up. Now they see in color. Isn't that great? Oh wait no I didn't even get to the best part. Are you ready? John is looking for a flatmate because his older brothers moved out. I think one of them is moving to America to work for NASA...yeah Freddie, and the other one...Brian I think is touring with the Royal Ballet. Or maybe I'm mixing them up. Whatever. Anyway John's dad doesn't want him staying on his own so he either has to find a flatmate or go back to living with his dad which he doesn't want to do. Luckily he found me. All expenses are paid thanks to John's rich father. He doesn't care about money. Like me he just wants a friend and some independence. I told him I could move in next week at the latest. I'm so excited! I finally have a friend and a life. Oh thank you Mom! If I never got this library job, none of this would be happening right now, and I'd just be lying on the couch wasting my life away."

"I-I'm...Wait what?" It was a lot for Winifred to take in. Her baby boy moving in with a complete stranger. She knew nothing about John. How could he ever give Roger the proper care he needed?

"The flat is about 15 minutes away so I'll be super close by. You don't have to worry. I mean come on Mom. I'm almost 20 years old. Did you really think I'd be living here for the rest of my life? I already bit the bullet and called Dad and he said yes. 'Fine, good riddance, one less mouth to feed' were his words I believe. So it's totally happening. Oh I'm so excited I could just scream."

At the end of the day, Winifred could not say no to her husband nor could she deny her son his happiness. Deep down though she felt like she was losing that sweet little boy she loved so much and protected from all the things that could harm him. "I'm sure within a week or two he'll be calling me begging to come back home." Winifred reasoned.

_Present Day..._

_Roger's POV_

"Stay in the car, Roger." I mocked what everyone had been telling me all day long. I loved cars, but this was getting annoying. "Why can't I do anything?" I sighed, petting Ringo. I nearly screamed when my phone rang interrupting the silence as I waited for the "adults" to get us our motel rooms.Oh thank goodness it was Brian! I hadn't heard from him since I spilled my guts out in that phone message back at the gas station.

"Roger, I'm so sorry. I should have called sooner. I was talking to Miami to get your legal stuff sorted out. Turns out you don't even need Winifred's signature to get your wardship overturned. All you need is a doctor's note and a third party character witness to testify that you can function on your own. Miami says a judge can grant you your rights back in less than 20 minutes if you have those things. I'll be your character witness. Being in a healthy relationship says a lot about what you're capable of mentally and a note from Dr. Swartzman will clear up that you're physically intact and no longer legally blind. I already called her and she said she'd even be willing to testify if needed, but the note should be enough. We can appear before a judge some time next week maybe before you take your learners permit exam so that's not weighing on your mind while you take the test. Anyway, you have nothing to worry about, honey. Everything can be taken care of. We can still get married. And you can be autonomous."

I let out a sigh of relief. That was one less thing to worry about. It was just so reassuring to hear Brian letting me know everything was alright. "I love you. I wish I could be with you right now."

"I miss you too, Roggie, but we'll be together tomorrow. Oh and tomorrow night Freddie invited us to open mic night at the Emerald Bar. He's gonna try to get over his stage freight and sing something while sober. I told him we'd be there for moral support. So that should be fun if Fred doesn't chicken out like he usually does."

"You should bring the Red Special and play something." I encouraged.

"Me? Oh no. No one wants to hear my sad songs. They're much too personal. I'll save them for you." Brian dismissed.

"I could use a sad song right now. Today has been such a turmoil of emotions. Uncle Clem is...he's..." I struggled to find the right words. "I don't know. I always imagined him to be like Tony Stark or someone from the MCU, but he's...just..."

"He's human." Brian vocalized. "You idolized him, Roger, and that's okay, but you have to realize he has flaws just like you and me."

"Yeah." I agreed. "So what are you doing right now?"

"Cuddling a badger. What else?"He drawled.

"I'd rather be cuddling with you." I cooed. "You're making me jealous of that badger."

"Yes, well as much as I love this badger, I do miss my little spoon." Brian remarked.

"And I miss my big spoon even more." I replied wistfully.

I noticed a figure out in the distance. Without my glasses I couldn't tell who it was but I assumed it was Uncle Clem. "I've gotta go, Bri. It looks like Uncle Clem is coming back. I wanna make things less awkward between us like how they used to be when I was a kid."

"Give it some time, Rog. You'll see."

"Yes I know I'll see." I grinned. "Thanks for reminding me."

Brian laughed. "Love you. Call me before you go to bed, alright?"

"Of course. Love you." I hung up feeling satisfied from our conversation. Brian could make everything better.

When it came to Uncle Clem, I was being naive. Things felt off between us because it had been 15 years. Both of us had changed a lot during our time apart, so I shouldn't expect it to be the same.

The man approached the car with a hoodie and a ski cap. Wait when did Uncle Clem change out of his jumpsuit and why would he choose something that still made him resemble a thug? Ringo sat up in alert and growled viciously. Oh shit! That wasn't Uncle Clem, but I realized that too late. The stranger violently smashed open the car window. I shielded myself and Ringo from the shattered glass and rolled down into the floor as the intruder reached inside and unlocked the door. I screamed as loud as I could.

The predator crawled on top of me and put his hand over my mouth. "Hey! Shh! Shh! Don't scream, pretty thing." He whispered creepily. "This won't take long. In fact you might even enjoy i—Fuck! You're a man!" I bit down on his hand getting him to unmuzzle me as he was distracted by my gender. If I were a girl I could only imagine what he wanted to do...

"Y-You're a rapist!" I felt sick to my stomach.

"Relax I'm not a fag even for pretty boys like you! I'll just take your wallet." The man wasn't asking. Should I hand it over or try to fight back? He took some sort of device out of his pocket and held it up to the back of my head. "Give me your wallet, now!" He shouted.

"What if I say no?" I challenged.

"What are you fucking blind? I have a gun to your head!"

Gun? Was that the tool he held to my head. I had never seen one before. Okay this asshole was not messing around. I had to give him what he wanted. With a shaky hand, I extended my wallet. "You can have it now leave me alone!" I shut my eyes tightly, praying to make it out of here alive.

"That ring looks expensive. Hand it over."

Oh no! Anything but my ring. I wouldn't give that up without a fight. "Y-You don't understand. My soulmate gave me this ring." I pleaded.

"I don't give a shit who gave it you. It's mine now or I'll shoot you!" He threatened.

"HEY!" I opened my eyes and spotted the real Uncle Clem boldly approaching the antagonizer. "Get away from him you fucking lowlife! You've got some nerve attacking a blind kid. Who the hell do you think you are?"

I wasn't blind, but I didn't say anything because the villain rolled off of me and out of the car. He pointed what I now knew was a gun at Uncle Clem. "You look like you just escaped prison and you dare to call me a lowlife? Mind your own business. I say if he's blind it makes it even easier for me to steal from him. Like taking candy from a baby. Now get outta here or you'll be another casualty."

"You're messing with the wrong felon." Uncle Clem growled. "You deserve to know what it feels like to be trapped in the dark." He held up his soda can and shook it up. "This is lethal pepper spray. I stole it from one of the guards during the prison riot where I escaped. One spritz and you'll be blind for life."

No, that was clearly a can of soda. What the hell was Uncle Clem doing? I knew he was saving my life, but was his plan dumb enough to work?

"You're bluffing!" The attacker shouted.

"Try me motherfucker!" Clem shouted. I never knew opening a soda can could be badass, but there was a dead silence followed by an ominous pop. Sure enough the man dropped my wallet and fled like a coward seconds before the orange liquid fizzed out.

"W-What the hell just happened?" I squealed.

"Are you okay, Roger? Are you hurt? Look at me! Everything's okay. You're okay. I've got you. I scared that bad man away." He pulled me into a hug. My heart was racing, but I felt safe now that Uncle Clem was here.

I was still in shock questioning everything that had just occurred. Mom came running followed by William. "My baby! My baby! What happened?"

"Um...I got mugged, but Uncle Clem he...he...How did you do that? That's a soda can not pepper spray."

"I know, but I figured it's dark out and he probably can't see color so he'll just make out the can with my hand blocking the label so I could convince him. It was a long shot, but it paid off. I got him off of you." Uncle Clem said.

"You're a real hero, Clem!" William applauded.

"You know maybe your lies aren't so bad after all." I declared.


	23. The Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian is skeptical about Uncle Clem's new growing business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Midterms are next week and I hate it thanks. Just ugh.
> 
> Ok here's the chapter:

_Brian's POV_

My time away from Roger was uneventful. Well Sally J, the orphaned baby badger, followed me home from work and refused to leave my side, so that was something. Apparently she mistook me for her mum. I had no problem with it and didn't mind caring for her. Some would find her stowaway tendencies annoying, but it was charming to me. I was driving to John's house to have dinner with him and Ronnie and suddenly Sally J popped up in the backseat, so of course I ended up taking her with me. How could I say no to an adorable little badger?

"I might as well adopt you at this point." I laughed as Sally J bit my shoelaces preventing me from leaving to go pick up Roger and meet Clem. I really should have worn my clogs today. "C'mon. Let's go see the other cute face." I scooped up the badger, knowing she would just follow me out the door like a shadow anyway.

"Are you excited to see Roggie?" I asked. Unable to understand, Sally J just bopped my cheek with her nose. "I'm dying to see him." I responded. "This has been the longest 39 hours of my life. You've definitely helped me get through it." I secured the badger in the car and then we were off to Winifred's house.

Of course William opened the door. He greeted me with a stern gaze. "May, what are you doing here? And what's with the rodent on your shoulder?"

"This is Sally J. She's a badger. Badgers are not rodents, they're Mustelidae like weasels and otters." I explained.

"Oh yeah. Aren't those things like carnivorous? I don't wanna get bit." William clenched his fingers against his palms so they wouldn't get nibbled. "And keep it the hell away from my cats!"

"Badgers are peaceful creatures. They would never hurt you, and only eat much smaller animals when in the wild. She should get along fine with the cats." I clarified.

"So they do eat other animals?" He frowned.

"Yes, but that's just part of nature." I replied.

"How come _you _don't eat other animals? It's part of nature after all. We're high on the food chain."

"William, who's at the door?" Winifred called. "Clem's parole officer isn't due for another two weeks."

"It's me, Winifred!" I called, stepping past William. "I'm here to pick up Roger."

_"_Oh Brian, my boy! Come in, come in please! Roger is downstairs in the den with Clem and Clare. Would you like a slice of rum cake?" She thankfully came to my rescue.

Sally J jumped down from my shoulders and scurried off to acquaint with the cats.I ignored William's cries of distress because the baby badger posed no danger. In fact the cats were larger than her. I watched affectionately as Sally J and trio of felines sniffed each other and fraternized. Ringo was more interested in his squeaky bone and chose not to engage with the other animals. "You're gonna be the best of mates, aren't you?" I cooed to the badger and cats.

"Would you look at that! Cats, dogs, and badgers all getting along. Who would've thought." William chuckled. "You're a smart man, Brian. Well as smart as any vegan can get without sufficient protein. I'll take some of that rum cake, Winnie!" He patted his belly as my mother-in-law began to slice the cake.

"I'm not hungry at the moment. If you'll excuse me I'm gonna go see Rog now. I'm sure he's shaken up after all of this drama." I said heading toward the den.

All I wanted to do now was give my baby the hug he deserved. Perhaps some kisses as well. Only I forgot that Roger wasn't alone. From the top of the stairwell I observed Roger and Clare along with a slender man with short black hair and shining dark eyes. They were too busy with their task at hand to notice me. I wasn't quite sure what they were doing but it involved a bowl of oranges, a squeezer, a bottle of sparkling water, bags of sugar, and lots of cups.

"No! No! Roger, no one will drink that. It's so sugary it burns!" Clare coughed as she drank whatever was in one of the cups.

"So sweet it hurts!" Roger exclaimed. "Can we use that for branding? I think it's brilliant!"

Clem grinned patting Roger on the back. "I appreciate the enthusiasm, Roggie, but we're gonna need better marketing than that. Nobody wants something that's gonna hurt. And Clare's right, you don't wanna dump half the bag of sugar into it. That's way too much! I'm selling a life changing beverage, not diabetes." He clapped his hands together in motivation. "C'mon team! I know we can come up with a formula that'll delight our customers! Let's try diluting the oranges with more sparkling water in the next batch."

This project seemed innocent enough. It was wrong of me to intrude but I waited a bit longer before making my presence known. Roger looked up to his uncle, and I was eager to watch the two interact some more.

"Can we have other flavors besides orange? Why not strawberry or blueberry or something?" Roger inquired.

"It's called Clementine's Miracle Juice." Clare pointed out. "To not have an orange flavor would be false advertising. By the way isn't this whole thing kinda deceitful? I don't know Uncle Clem. I mean can juice really change your life?"

"Of course it can. You've just gotta believe in miracles." He replied.

"I believe in miracles!" Roger proclaimed.

Yes, yes he did, and I believed in them as well. Even as a scientist, how could I not ascribe to some higher forces out there? I was grateful for whatever strings pulled me and my soulmate together. Finding my Roger was a miracle I had personally experienced.

Now did miracles come in the form of a bottle? No, I agreed with Clare in this case. Clem was being facetious. So long as nobody got hurt and Roger kept that cute smile on his face, I guess the farce of this "miracle juice" couldn't be too bad.

"Bri!" Roger squealed dropping the cup and running to me. I cringed as he clumsily ascended the stairs nearly avoiding a bad fall. When would he learn to watch his step (literally) so I didn't need to have all these sheer heart attack moments when he moved too quickly?

"You look the same!" Roger giggled caressing my face as he stared up at me lovingly.

"What were you expecting? It hasn't even been two days." I pulled him safely into my arms so I could breathe. "I've missed you baby." I sighed finally at ease now that we were together again.

"I dunno. I was afraid I had forgotten what you looked like, but I didn't. And you look the same as how I remember. Scratch that you look even better somehow!" Roger slipped out of my embrace and stepped up to the top of the stairwell. "Look, now I'm taller than you!" Well he hadn't changed overnight thank goodness. Still my cute silly Rog.

Clem cleared his throat as our lips met at the highest step. "Roger, aren't you going to introduce me to your beau?"

Roger unlatched himself from me offering a sheepish grin. "This is Brian. Isn't he dreamy?" He sighed. "And Bri, this is Uncle Clem. Alright, introductions are done. Back to kissing."

"Hang on." Clem interrupted. "That's all you're going to say about him?"

I awkwardly clambered down the stairs with Roger clinging to my side to shake his uncle's hand. "I've heard a lot about you." I said.

"Likewise." Clem replied. "How about we um finish this conversation upstairs in Roger's old room? Roger, Clare, keep testing different recipes until you find something that's guaranteed to blow your mind."

Roger frowned. "Whatever you wanna say to Brian you can say in front of me."

"No, I'm afraid I can't in this case. This won't take very long. Don't worry. I'll leave your boyfriend in tact. I promise." Clem said.

"Okay." I hesitantly agreed to have this private talk. What could Clem possibly want to tell me in secrecy?

"Hurry back." Roger whispered like I was leaving the country rather than just traveling upstairs to his room. Well after our time spent apart, I understood his uneasiness. "I'll be back in a few minutes." I assured him.

Since Roger hadn't lived here in almost six years, most of his stuff had been cleared out with the exception of an empty bookshelf and his bed. It was clear Clem was going to be residing here because a prison jumpsuit was hanging in the closet. There was a solid black poster hung up on the wall with elevated symbols I recognized as Braille, so that was probably Roger's. I had managed to learn the Braille alphabet to motivate Roger to keep making progress in his new life. Of course I could read it with just looking at it, but that defeated the purpose. So I closed my eyes and ran my hand across it trying to imagine what Roger felt like reaching up to "see" his motivational poster that hung above his bed every morning.

"Living is easy with eyes closed

Misunderstanding all you see  
It's getting hard to be someone  
But it all works out  
It doesn't matter much to me"

"That's from Strawberry Fields Forever, right?" Clem acknowledged. "I never knew what that poster said, but I'm surprised Roger still kept it up after all these years. A friend from his blind academy got it custom made for him. Braille posters aren't as common as you'd think. I had a Sgt Pepper poster up in my room growing up. You know the iconic album cover? You a Beatles fan, Brian?"

"Big Beatles fan." I replied.

"Then we should get along just fine." He took a seat on the side of the bed."So I'm gonna cut right to the chase here. Roger clearly loves you and you seem like a decent guy. But you have to understand how special my nephew is. His life's been rough, just one road block after another, but he's always been determined to make the most out of his situation. And thankfully he's still standing. I think he deserves to be loved and finally have a happy normal life. So all I'm saying is respect what Roger's been through and treat him well."

I nodded. I'd expect nothing less from this kind of talk based on what Roger told me about Uncle Clem. He may have been absent these past few years, but he was still protective of his nephew. I appreciated that. At the end of the day I'd much rather seek out Clem's blessing than Michael's. "I'll do my best to always be there for him no matter what." I vowed.

"Good. That's all I need to hear. See, didn't I tell you this would be short and painless?" Satisfied, Clem stood up and headed back downstairs. "Now I'm eager to find out what kind of concoction Roger and Clare cane up with."

"What is with that miracle drink if you don't mind me asking?" I inquired curiously.

"It's a product idea I have for a business. A nonalcoholic drink that'll solve all of your problems no matter how big or how small." Clem  
explained.

"I don't quite understand how a guarantee like that could ever work." I argued.

"You don't have to understand, Brian. You just have to believe." He declared.

I cringed. "Sorry. I'm a scientist. I like to understand things. You can be upfront with me, Clem. Tell me the truth. It's nothing more than a placebo isn't it?"

"Don't think of it like that. It's a refreshing citrusy drink that lets you live up to your fullest potential.You're the one making your dreams come true. The drink just gives you the mindset to do it."

"Eureka!" I heard the scream from downstairs before I could respond. We rushed to the scene in time to see Roger and Clare high five each other and toast their glasses. "We did it! The perfect amount of sugar, sparkling water, and oranges!" Roger exclaimed.

I loved seeing him so proud of himself in any of his endeavors. This idea seemed slimy, but that cheerful little smile accompanying Roger's rosy cheeks convinced me to look the other way. Working with Clem on this project would only build his confidence. As Clem reminded me and I already knew, Roger's life was basically nightmarish prior to meeting me. Humoring Clem with this scheme would give Roger a new ambition and make him finally feel worthwhile. Against my moral compass, I wouldn't protest. Clementine's Miracle Juice officially had my endorsement. Oh the things I agree to for love.

"It's actually really tasty. I can totally imagine this being bottled and sold." Clare proclaimed. "Wanna try?"

"It's vegan." Roger promised handing both me and Clem a cup.

Much to my surprise the drink was smooth and flavorful. A pleasant carbonated blend of sweetand tart. "This is good." I remarked. Just for the hell of it, I turned to Clem. "Hypothetically, what should be happening to me right now?"

"That depends on you. The experience of Clementine's Miracle Juice is different for each customer. What do you want to happen, Brian? Or what do you think is going to happen? If you say nothing, then obviously nothing will happen. Mind over matter."

"Deep." Roger murmured. He drank some more and shut his eyes tightly, folding his hands as if in a prayer. "Please I want to pass my drivers exam. Make it happen."

"It'll happen." Clem promised.

"It will." I agreed. It had nothing to do with the juice of course. Roger had been studying really hard for his exam. He knew all the rules of the road and various signs he could encounter while driving. He'd pass with flying colors and be issued a learners permit.****

"Honestly I wish I could skip the written portion and go right to the actual driving test to get my real license. But as the saying goes the journey of 1000 miles starts with a learners permit." Roger said.

"It starts with one step." I corrected.

"Yes one step closer to getting my real unrestricted license!" He giggled. "I'm gonna drive you everywhere, Brian. I can't wait!"

Oh dear Lord what have I done! I just laughed and gave Roger another soft kiss to his cheek.

Roger frowned. "I didn't know we were having more company." He said arbitrarily.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Didn't you hear the front door open?" Without another word Roger ventured back upstairs.

"AY-OH!" Okay that I heard. Freddie was here for some reason! We joined Roger upstairs to greet my brother.

Sure enough Freddie stood at the front door dramatically posing for Winifred as she invited him in. Only there was something very different about him. "Fred, you're hair!" I gasped. The black locks were cut dramatically short now resting at the top of his neck rather than down to his shoulders.

"Yes. Jim cut it and styled it for me. Isn't he so wonderful and talented? Just in time for my wedding and my debut in the Nutcracker. What do you think?" Freddie twirled around to show off his new look. "I'm considering growing some facial hair too. Perhaps a mustache to match Jim's."

"You look g—" "—Gayer!" Roger finished my sentence. I was going to say good, but Freddie took Roger's statement as a compliment.

"Why thank you, darling! I am feeling very gay today. Granted, I feel gay every day of my life. But today I am doubly gay because I'm also very happy if you're going by that definition of the word. Do you know why?"

"Because you came here to see me." William blurted.

"Not quite, dear. I'm happy because my wedding is in officially 2 weeks. Only 14 more days until I marry the love of my life. Let the countdown commence!"

"So then why are you here?" William asked.

"I am here because I got this brand new squeaky mouse toy for my cats but none of them want to play with it. They're more interested in the box it came in. So I thought your cats might be interested." Freddie held up the mouse and squeaked it. The cats stayed put licking each other completely disinterested, but the toy caught the attention of the other two furry creatures. Ringo and Sally J plopped themselves by Freddie's feet eager to play. "You're not cats." Freddie sighed. "This thing must be cursed." He threw it allowing the dog and badger to chase after it.

"So adorable." I cooed.

"Anyway now I'm here. Think I'll stay around." Freddie decided.

"Yes. You should stay for dinner!" Winifred invited. "William is making lasagna and salad."

"Lasagna." William clarified. "The salad is for Brian. If there's any salad leftover after Brian takes his portion then we'll be having lasagna and salad. Otherwise just lasagna. Right, May?"

"Yessir." I stammered. Why did he have to be so passive aggressive?

"So, Freddie, this is my Uncle Clem. Uncle Clem, this is Brian's brother, Freddie." Roger introduced.

Clem looked back and forth between us. "You two look nothing alike."

"We're adopted." I clarified.

"Brothers from another mother." Freddie chimed in.

"You look familiar, Freddie. I swear we've met before." Clem scratched his head.

"You've probably seen me perform." Freddie reasoned. "Are you a ballet fan?"

"I surprised him with tickets to see you in the Nutcracker on Sunday." Clare giggled.

"That should be fun." Clem didn't sound convinced. He was obviously doing it for Clare.

"Yes the Nutcracker was the role I was born to play. I love cracking nuts. It's my favorite pastime." Freddie snickered at his own dirty joke. "Don't tell that one to Deaky. He still thinks painting is my favorite pastime and that innocent notion shall remain." It took me a minute or two to understand that one...

"I've got it!" Clem exclaimed. "You look just like Rami Malek!"

"That's the bloke from the last Twilight movie, right? He's quite handsome."Freddie remarked. "Jim might be jealous, but I've got a bit of a crush on that Egyptian vampire."

"I mean the resemblance is uncanny." Clem borrowed Roger's phone to pull up a picture of the actor and hold it up side to side with Freddie's face.

"You could play him in a biopic!"

"Clem, you flirt! I'm a soon to be married man! You stop that shit! But I am quite flattered." Freddie laughed. "You should come with us to the Emerald Bar tonight, darling. It's open mic night, and I'm going to try to perform sober to prove to myself that I can do anything. After all I am Freddie fucking Mercury."

"Yeah you should come, Uncle Clem! It'll be fun!" Roger insisted.

"Hmm. Maybe I could get an in with Clementine's Miracle Juice. Get them to sell it as a nonalcoholic option in bars. You never know. I think I'll attend." Clem nodded.

"Oh please, darling. There's no such thing as a nonalcoholic miracle juice. I'll tell you the only miracle juice that exists is vodka with a capital V. I don't know where I'll get my confidence without it going on stage all by myself tonight, but the show must go on!"

"Freddie, no one will be upset with you if you chicken out or decide to get a little drunk before going on stage." I assured him.

He gasped. "Brian May! I am most certainly not a chicken! Unlike you, I eat chicken. So if anything you're the bloody chicken!"

"That makes no sense." I shook my head as William chortled.

"You should try Clementine's Miracle Juice before going on stage. I swear it'll give you all the confidence and energy you need to steal the show." Clem suggested.

"Oh I bet you know a thing or two about stealing." Freddie said. Wait. Did Freddie know about Clem's crimes? There was a tense silence in the room and Clem shifted uncomfortably. "You've already stolen my heart, you bastard!" Freddie clarified. "Roger, darling, why didn't you tell me your uncle was so charming? I swear with that smile he could sell me anything. I'll drink your orange juice if you really think it'll help."

Clem let out a sigh of relief. "Yes. Yes. I think it will work wonders. You'll sing like you've never sang before. It'll be electrifying. I promise."

"200 degrees that's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit!" Freddie sang. "Damn right I'll be electrifying, darling. I like you, Clem. You've never seen me perform and you already believe in me. Thank you for that optimism. We need more optimism in the world and it helps if the optimism is spread by attractive people like you. You think I look like Rami Malek, but I must tell you, darling, you have a striking resemblance with Robert Downey Jr."

I cocked my head to the side trying to imagine it. The others seemed to agree with Freddie, but I just couldn't see it. "See! I told you he was Iron Man!" Roger exclaimed.

***

The Emerald Bar was crowded as usual. Almost all of the seats were taken, but the wrap around velvet sofa close to the stage was available and could thankfully fit all of us. I went up to the bartender to order us our drinks. Beer for everyone except for Ronnie who was pregnant and Clare who wasn't 21 yet. They'd be drinking root beer floats instead. As for Freddie, he planned on staying sober to prove a point, but he would be testing out Clementine's Miracle Juice. Clem inquired the bartender about being able to sell his new product here. Now that Freddie had doodled up a logo, the bottle appeared more legitimate.

"Sorry, dude, you'll have to ask my boss." The bartender said. "He's over there." He gestured to a bulky man in the corner chastising a frail boy who was sweeping the floor. And I thought approaching Professor Smith during office hours was intimidating. "Good luck." I told Clem and went back to our seats.

Roger crawled onto my lap as soon as I passed out the drinks and sat down myself. He had a tendency of ending up here a lot. "Can I help you?" I teased. "Nah, I'm good." Roger replied, nuzzling against me. Good thing I enjoyed holding him like this.

"And you're 139% sure that that's decaffeinated root beer with absolutely no alcohol whatsoever." Freddie took the root beer float from Ronnie and sniffed it. "We can't risk anything happening to baby creampuff."

"It's fine, Freddie." Ronnie rolled her eyes and took back the drink. Deaky put his arm around her. "So what's in that miracle juice of yours, Fred?" He asked. "'Cause that's what you should be focused on."

"Oranges, sugar, sparkling water, and a little bit of magic. You should have some, Ronnie. It'll help baby Robert grow up big and strong in your tummy. Of course you just have to believe in the magic otherwise it won't work." Freddie explained.

John and I shared skeptical gazes. Ronnie shrugged and took one of the bottles we brought. She took a sip after reading the label to ensure there was nothing bad for her baby in it. "It's carbonated orange juice. Tasty but nothing remarkable." She remarked.

"You're not believing hard enough!" Roger cried. "It really does work, but only if you want it to work."

"It seems like a nice sentiment but I think I'll stick with my beer." Jim said. "Are you sure you don't want any, Freddie, love?"

"I want it to be me up there on that stage, not the alcohol, but me! Well the miracle juice will replace the alcohol, but still. I need to do this sober." Freddie said.

"You'll kill it either way." Jim encouraged Freddie with a kiss.

The boss and owner of the Emerald Bar stepped up onto the stage. "Hello everyone. Welcome to the Emerald Bar's open mic night where we let local talents spread their wings. Unfortunately, I have a bit of bad news. After last week's disastrous open mic performance by a punk who goes by the stupid name of Justin Beaver, which is fitting because he sounds like a dying beaver, singers are no longer allowed to sing original songs. The backlash was just too strong. It took Sammy twice as long to clean up from all the tomatoes and drinks the audience threw at the stage. So singers, we ask that you select a song from our wide selection of non offensive songs in the book right by the stage. With that out of the way, let's begin!"

"You still wanna do it, Freddie?" I asked knowing he had a special song in mind to serenade Jim.

"Of course I'll still do it. Let me take a look at the songs they'll allow." He took another swig of the miracle juice and went to skim through the book of song choices.

A band calling themselves Lost Luggage took the stage first. They weren't very good to put it politely. Roger used this time to strike up conversation. "What do you think of Uncle Clem?"

"He's very passionate." I stated.

"I think he's onto something big with this drink idea. I really believe in it. You may not think it's real because science and bla bla bla, but I don't know...it's just...I like things that give me hope." Roger sighed, "Uncle Clem said he came up with the idea while thinking of me. He wanted to help me, Bri. Now we can use it to help others. Even it doesn't work, just let them believe in something."

"Clem thought it would give you vision." I realized. It wouldn't have. Nothing could have. Not after dozens of doctors told Roger he'd never see again and failed surgery after failed surgery. Yet, by some unexplainable magic, he was staring right at me. Nothing was impossible. "It's good to have hope." I agreed.

Freddie pranced onto the stage with a stride in his step. He tried to untangle the microphone, but he accidentally broke it from the stand. I inwardly cringed but tried to give him an encouraging smile. Jim clapped softly to show him some support. Freddie pretended it wasn't an accident and spoke into the microphone like nothing had happened. "Hello my lovies. I'm Mr. Mercury. I hope you like ABBA. Sing along if you know this one. It goes out to all the music lovers out there and my beautiful fiancé who inspires me to be the best artist I can be!" Freddie blew a kiss to Jim. He fastened the broken microphone to the piano and began to play.

_"I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore_

_If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before_   
_But I have a talent, a wonderful thing_   
_Cause everyone listens when I start to sing_   
_I'm so grateful and proud_   
_All I want is to sing it out loud..."_

The lyrics couldn't be more fitting. While before there was chattering and people were drinking away, now everyone's attention was glued to the man on stage. From the moment he opened his mouth, he owned the audience. And Freddie damn well knew it. He grinned and continued to sing the chorus.

_"...So I say_   
_Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing_   
_Thanks for all the joy they're bringing_   
_Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty_   
_What would life be?_   
_Without a song or a dance what are we?_   
_So I say thank you for the music_   
_For giving it to me..."_

Everyone clapped as Freddie went on with his rich voice that had captivated the entire bar with ease.

_"...Mama said I was a dancer before I could walk_

_She said I began to sing long before I could talk_   
_But I've often wondered, how did it all start?_   
_Who found out that nothing can capture a heart_   
_Like a melody can?_   
_Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan..."_

On the second chorus, everyone sang along. I doubted everyone in the room was an ABBA fan, but that didn't matter. We were all Freddie fans.

_"I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair..." _Freddie looked to Roger and winked.   
_"I wanna sing it out to everybody_  
_What a joy, what a life, what a chaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnncceeeee!"_

That last note earned Freddie a thunderous standing ovation. What a voice! And to think that Freddie considered himself more of a dancer than a singer.

_"...So I say_

_Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing_   
_Thanks for all the joy they're bringing_   
_Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty_   
_What would life be?_   
_Without a song or a dance what are we?_   
_So I say thank you for the music_   
_For giving it to me."_

"Damn! I forgot how good he was!" Roger applauded. "He made me sing along to a fucking ABBA song against my will and I actually liked it. That's talent!"

"What's wrong with ABBA? I like ABBA." John remarked.

"It's just so...upbeat and poppy. I'd expect a band like ABBA to have a lyric like happy at home in one of their songs so it figures you like them, Deaky." Roger laughed. "But to each his own. I guess."

I expected Freddie to embrace Jim when he ran off stage. Only he didn't. He went to hug Clem first. "Darling, your miracle juice worked! Did you see me up there like a rockstar?"

"That's your talent, Fred. It has nothing to do with the drink." I pointed out.

"Well then the miracle juice brought out my talent." Freddie said. "I fully endorse Clementine's Miracle Juice. And Clem, you are invited to my wedding!"

"I don't have tux. Didn't you say it was in 2 weeks? That's not enough time for me to find a date and get ready." Clem cried.

"Don't worry about any of that. I'll take care of it all. I'll even pay for your plane ticket." Freddie offered.

"Plane ticket? Why would I need that? How far away is this wedding?"

"I'm getting married on Christmas Eve in Japan. What could be more romantic?" Freddie wandered over to Jim and the two casually snogged. 

"Freddie Hutton." Jim sighed. 

"No, darling, I told you I'm not doing that. You're going to be Jim Mercury. I only changed my name once and I will never do it again! I'll be Freddie Mercury forever!" Freddie declared. 

"You changed your name? Why?" Clem inquired. 

"Because Freddie Mercury is a superstar and Farrokh Bulsara is just a poor boy." He replied. 

"Oh shit! You're Farrokh Bulsara!" Clem gasped as if he knew something about the name. "Um...Can we talk somewhere? Like privately? I've got some things I need to get off my chest." 

"You want to see me privately?" Freddie asked suggestively. "Well you'll have to pay me first. I don't give blow jobs for free you know." He burst out laughing at Clem's horrified expression. "I'm only joking, darling. No need to take me so seriously. I'll only become a prostitute if I run out of money, my dear. Now let's go talk if that's what you want." 

"Should I be concerned?" Jim asked as the two walked away. 

"Nah, Uncle Clem's straight as far as I know, and he's too old for Freddie anyway. I think they really just wanna talk about something. Maybe marketing for the miracle juice. Freddie already came up with the logo. It's good to have creative minds on the team." Roger suspected. "But I really wanna help out too." 

I wasn't sure what Roger was up to, but he mounted one of the chairs and clumsily attempted to step up onto the accompanying table. This was just too adorable to watch. Once he was steady on the table, he screamed to get everyone's undivided attention. "We all saw my brother Freddie sing, right? It was pure awesomeness! So if you wanna have that kinda confidence you should try Clementine's Miracle Juice. I have a whole box full of bottles right here and we're giving them away for free right now just to get the word out, so--" Roger couldn't even finish because a stampede of drunks charged toward him upon hearing the word "free". 

"Careful, Roggie!" I called as he stumbled down from the table. "Look at this crowd!" Roger squealed. "I think our business is gonna do great!"

Clem and Freddie returned to the bar in time to witness the scene. They were still finishing up their conversation. I caught a snippet of what Freddie was saying. "And don't worry about Miami. He'll forgive you as well."

Forgive him? For what? Wait... I thought back to many years ago when Miami was dealing personally in a case in which someone had stolen money Freddie's parents had left behind for him. Oh my God! That was Clem. 

"Oh wow! Look at that! People are flocking for Clementine's Miracle Juice! Good job, Roger! I'm not sure what you did, but it certainly worked." Clem patted Roger on the back. Again I was torn on my feelings about the man because I saw the way he looked at Roger with such pride, and Roger's beam of recognition in return. Clem may not be a good man, but he was trying his best and he made my Roger very happy. How could I ever fault him?

"S-So do you think...if I try this out...I can finally find true ambition." The same boy from earlier who was sweeping examined the bottle curiously. "My boss said I can't do any better than my job here and I'm always dreaming. But I know I can do better."

"What's your name?" Clem asked. 

"Sammy." He replied. 

"I think you can do anything, Sammy. Drink this and you can achieve anything you ever thought was possible."

"Can I tell stand up comedy on the open mic? I've always wanted to do that! My boss would never let me." 

"Why don't you drink it and go give it a shot. I know for a fact that you'll make me laugh." Clem encouraged.

Sammy was hesitant but after drinking the juice, he ventured onto the stage to do a routine. His boss shouted from the wings for him to get off, but Sammy ignored him. "Hi folks. I'm gonna do a stand up comedy bit for you if you don't mind. 

So remember those prepubescent days when you had lots of acne and you had no clue who you were so you tried to act tough but you ended up looking like an idiot? Yeah. Good times. ...That was last week for me.

Anyway, I remember stressing a lot about a math test when I was a teenager. I was super nervous and had no idea what I was doing. I had to remember all the steps involved and I even studied like mad the night before. Oh man, by the time I got to it, I overthought everything. It was really long and hard, and I finished way too early. ...But hey at least my math test didn't go as bad as the time I lost my virginity."

It took a moment for the audience to comprehend the innuendo. Freddie was the first to understand the joke and he howled with laughter before the rest of us joined in. "That Sammy is a riot! I love him!" Freddie guffawed

"Okay, my boss is shouting to me that I'm fired, so I guess I should get off the stage now. Thanks!" Sammy walked off the stage with a huge grin. "I can't believe I did that!"

"You were so funny!" Roger applauded. 

"All thanks to Clementine's Miracle Juice. I don't think I have a job anymore but maybe I could work for you? You're gonna need more employees to sell such an outstanding product." Sammy said.

"Sure. Welcome to the team! The more the merrier! We'll find a place for you!" Clem invited. "Soon we'll be going international and expanded to markets in Japan. That should be exciting!" 

"We're going to Japan for Freddie and Jim's wedding. Not sell miracle juice." I said. 

"I don't mind. Having more miracle juice around will just help build the romantic atmosphere." Freddie replied. 

"Aye. If you're okay with it, then I am, Freddie." Jim agreed. 

"Oh my goodness! Baby just kicked!" Ronnie exclaimed. 

"Wow!" Deaky put a hand to her stomach. "Hi Robert. I'm your father. I can't wait to meet you!" 

"Now that creampuff growing in her tummy is the real miracle." Freddie conceded. Clem nodded, thankfully not taking credit for Robert's kick because Ronnie drank the juice. 

I decided to rely on good old fashioned alcohol for the rest of my miracles that night. "To dreams coming true." I toasted and drank my beer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: We're getting up to Japan and Christmas! Who's excited! Also did you know that Rami Malek was in Twilight? The more you know!


	24. I Still Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian feels insecure. Freddie needs help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is crap! I had trouble writing it. It's pretty much just filler. I have big plans for this story (expect angst and whump coming up soon) but right now I've been super paranoid about coronavirus and obsessed with tracking the election and possible outcomes, so it's hard to focus on other things. School is starting again Monday too. Believe me the story will get better after this chapter. I just needed a transition into their Japan trip and the next part of the story. Don't worry there is no coronavirus in this AU so they can travel safely LOL.

_Brian's POV_

I wanted to be happy for Roger. I really did. Everything was finally working out for him. In the past few weeks, he reconnected with his uncle, got his rights restored (despite Winifred's protests), and obtained his learners' permit. He was undoubtedly on his road to full independence. Watching him grow and learn and become more confident and even a bit cocky was a complete joy.

But where did that leave me? Well, a reoccurring nightmare said that my path diverged from Roger's. I knew it wasn't true, but that didn't stop me from waking up each morning in a cold sweat, that vision of us standing at the altar in my dream still fresh on my mind.

_"...Do you take this man to be your husband?"_

_"I don't. Sorry, Brian. Things have changed for me. I don't need you anymore. What we have isn't love. I was just naive and mistook you caring for me as something real that could last. Now that I can see and function on my own, our relationship serves no function. Thanks for coming everyone but the wedding is cancelled!"_

It was ridiculous to ever believe that could happen. We were in love and soulmates. Roger would never do that to me. Still, there was something that unsettled me as Roger no longer opened his eyes in the morning with a stunned smile and sigh of relief. When he looked up at me, it was slowly becoming a more accustomed look rather than one filled with awe. But these were good things, right? Why wasn't I applauding his progress? Navigating a world full of foreign sites wasn't easy for him.

"Good morning, baby! I made you coffee. Sugar and coconut milk. Just the way you like it." Roger presented me with the drink and a kiss.

I took a cautious sip from the mug expecting something to be off. "It's good." I gasped.

"You sound surprised." Roger laughed. "I can be very capable, Brimi. I'm not inept."

"Yeah, yeah I know that." I sat down watching as Roger made himself a bowl of cereal. No questions or hesitations. I had never seen him so sure of himself.

"Uncle Clem wants me and Freddie to star in a commercial he's making." Roger announced. "He wants Freddie to sing. Not sure what he wants me to do yet. Freddie suggested we film in Japan 'cause it's so pretty there. I'm super excited to go there. It'll be fun to see new things."

"You see new things every day." I pointed out.

"I mean not recently. I think I've seen everything there is to see at the moment. I never thought I'd say that. But I guess I've gotten pretty familiar with all the sights of this flat and the places we go to in our day to day life. Time to move on. New places, new adventures. My bucket list is always growing."

My mind went back to that first night we spent together. Roger had looked me in the eye, not even knowing what eyes looked like, and told me "I could just see you and only you and nothing else in my whole life and I'd die a happy man." Was I no longer enough?

I shook my head. I was overthinking things as usual. I should be happy. I had a beautiful, bubbly fiancé, and he wanted to travel and see the world with me. Hopefully with me. "You know there's still plenty of things to see and do here. You don't have to jump to the seven wonders of the world." I stated.

"Well I'm just eager to go to Japan." Roger dismissed. "Maybe this time I won't be such a fool at the airport and on the plane because I'll be used to seeing everything." He sounded so proud of himself. What was wrong with me? Didn't I encourage Roger to reach his fullest potential? Why was there a sudden pit in my stomach?

"You've come a long way." I acknowledged.

"Thanks to you." Roger's reassuring grin did cheer me up. Then he had to go on. "That must've been hell to put up with me up until now, but because of your patience I'm no longer such a pain in the ass now that I'm finally getting my life on track."

"It wasn't a pain at all." I said._ 'In fact I think I like it better when you depend on me.' _No, that was selfish of me.

"Spare me your kindness. I can handle honesty. All I ever did was bug you with questions like a toddler. That must have gotten on your nerves. I am so glad we're moving past that point in our relationship and we're more of a team now instead of you taking care of me all the time. It's good to be independent for once."

What role did I have in this new "team" that Roger described? Every day it seemed like there were less things Roger needed help with. What if he decided that he didn't need me altogether?

"Bri? You lost in your own head again, honey?" Roger waved a hand in front of my eyes trying to get my attention back.

"Just thinking." I sighed.

"No shit. You should stop doing that. It's not healthy. Besides you shouldn't be thinking about anything unless it's me. I want you to think about me nonstop 24/7." Roger was joking, but little did he know that it was the honest to God truth. In both good ways and bad ways, Roger haunted my every thought.

"Because obviously the earth is flat and it revolves around you and not the sun." I remarked.

"Science!" He giggled.

I knew Roger that much smarter than that. But just to clarify... "I'm only joking. The earth is not flat and--" He kissed me and I stopped talking.

"Is that what's been on your mind? Have you encountered another flat earther who you couldn't convince?" Roger wondered.

"I don't think I've ever encountered any flat earthers thankfully, but I know ignorant people like that exist." I replied. Prenter might be a flat earther, but I don't have concrete proof on that theory.

"One of the first things they did in science class when we were in elementary school was have us all feel the globe and notice that it was a sphere even though it was hard for us to conceptualize shapes. I remember my teacher would always say 'Just because you can't see doesn't mean you have to be stupid.' That was always stuck with me." Roger recalled.

"I don't think I would've been able to learn without vision." I admitted. "You have all of my admiration."

Roger cast his gaze downward, his chipper smile fading. "Can I ask you something? And I need an honest answer."

"Of course. Ask me anything." I prompted.

"Well um...This is silly really, but...w-would you still want to be my husband if I went blind again?"

"Why would you ever ask me that? You know the answer is no. You're mine no matter what. I wouldn't have given you that ring otherwise. I'd never dream of leaving you." I cried.

"You're right. It was dumb of me." Roger sighed. "I've just been having this dream almost every night."

Maybe we were more on the same page than I originally thought. "A self sabotaging one?"I ventured.

Roger nodded. "I'm walking down the aisle and it's all going great, but then when I get to the altar, everything goes away. In the blink of an eye, it's all gone. I can't see you anymore or Mom who's giving me away. Or Deaky and Freddie who are standing with you. You're all gone. It's just darkness. Then I only hear the priest ask you if you want to marry me and you say that you don't. You only fell for me after I could see, but the thought of having a blind partner is horrifying. And then you leave me. Just like that. I'm all alone in the dark again."

Somehow that was worse than my nightmare. Was it a sign that our dreams were so similar? I used to not believe in coincidences like this, but it had to mean something. Were we not supposed to get married?

"Don't worry about it. I know you would never do that to me. I'm just in my head too much. I think spending too much time with you gives me that habit." Roger reasoned. "Stupid introspection is stupid. It's only cute when you do it."

"I love you, Roggie. Nothing can change that." It was all I was certain of at the moment. "I just hope you feel the same."

"Of course I feel the same. Why wouldn't I? You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I mean that literally. You brought me light." As Roger kissed me, a little bit of doubt crept into my mind.

"Is that the only reason you love me?"

"Well you're good looking as fuck so that helps. Obviously I love you for the sex 'cause that's great." It was such a Roger answer. I wasn't sure why I was surprised. "What?" Roger snickered. "Is that not a good enough answer? Are you serious, Brian? Do you really think I'm that shallow. I love you because you take such good care of me and make me feel special. Even before we officially met, you made sure I was safe and comfortable and you put my needs above your own. Remember when we only knew each other through our nightly phone calls? You were recovering from hepatitis and you said you wanted to do something nice to me. If I can remember correctly you wanted to send me flowers. I wasn't the sick one, but you didn't care. I was always your number 1 priority. You wrote me all these sad love songs. And this was all before I could see. So I fell for you before I knew you were the one and you gave me the gift of sight. That's why I'm trying so hard to become self reliant so I can finally stop worrying about my clumsy self and put your needs above my own like you do for me...Christ! You've got me spilling my heart out and it's not even 9 am. Who knew I'd be so sappy. Point is I love you, Brimi."

Sappy indeed, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. "I love you too."

***

"I'm so thankful we were able to save Sally J from the culling. Hopefully she'll be just one of many badgers we'll be rescuing." I said as I fed the growing baby badger with a bottle. My coworker nodded but his focus was on his phone. "Brian, have you heard from Lynette by any chance? She hasn't responded to any of my messages."

Lynette was the intern who visited a local farmer to see if she could convince him to invest in vaccinations for bovine tb instead of bringing harm to the badgers. That was yesterday, and there was no news. Strangely enough Lynette hadn't shown up today. "I'm sure we'll hear from her soon. Probably she wasn't successful and is too afraid to upset us with bad news." I figured.

Before we could discuss Lynette's disappearance any further, my phone went off. I got a text from Freddie.

**Freddie:**

_Threat level AY-OH!_

Nine times out of ten that didn't mean anything serious, but if Freddie needed me I'd be there for him. Just to be sure though...

_Did you lose your shoe again or are you really in trouble? -Bri_

**Freddie:**

_This is serious. I desperately need your help darling. Please. Meet me @ Garden Lodge ASAP. Threat level AY-OH!_

Without any further hesitation, I excused myself. "I'm sorry. I have a family emergency. I have to go." Hopefully this was a real emergency, and Freddie wasn't bluffing like usual. Although his definition of an emergency differed vastly from mine. Naturally Sally J followed me out and I took her with me to Garden Lodge.

I found Freddie pacing the living room nearly in the verge of tears. Brooding was never a good look on him no matter how handsome he was. "Fred, what's the matter?"

"Brimi! Oh thank goodness you're here! It's awful!" Freddie rushed to give me a hug. Whatever was bothering him had him really shaken up. Clearly, this was much worse than him losing his shoe or accidentally using the wrong shampoo so he smelled like lemons instead of strawberries (the horror). I feared this threat level AY-OH was a real threat. "It's alright, Freddie. You can talk to me."

"Brian, you're a man of science. You observe things and make conclusions. Tell me please. Be honest. Am I...is there any way...What if...Oh fuck it! Do you think I've been a straight man this entire time? Oh God! What do I tell Jim? I'm marrying him next week. He wants a gay man!"

When the hell did this happen? Freddie Mercury wasn't straight. Possibly bisexual, but not straight. "Slow down, Freddie. What are you talking about? If you love Jim and he's your soulmate, then nothing else should matter. And for the record, you're very gay. One of the gayest people I know."

"Oh stop. You're just saying that to make me feel better. It's horrible. What if I'm straight? Could I have been lying to myself this whole time?" Sensing his distress, some of Freddie's cats cuddled by his feet, purring gently. Sally J joined them. "I suppose it all started with this blasted article published this morning." Freddie handed me a review for his performance in the Nutcracker from the newspaper.

_'Mercury Convinces Audiences He's Straight'_

"That's...um one hell of a headline." I murmured.

_'Freddie Mercury shines as the star in the Royal Ballet's performance of the Nutcracker. Mercury, a graceful and expressive dancer, stole the show. However, besides the dancing and the acting, the one thing that stood out above all else was Mercury's chemistry with his female costar. As an openly gay man with a male fiancé, Mercury is relatively quiet about his personal life. Critics worried that this would hinder the believability of the ballet's story which at its core is a romance between the Nutcracker Prince (Freddie Mercury) and the beautiful Clara (Barbara Valentin). Yet when watching Mercury and Valentin on stage you would have no clue that Mercury isn't attracted to the opposite sex. The way they stare into each other's eyes and share a kiss presents so much passion, audience members do not question its authenticity. Maybe the two are secretly in love offstage?..._

"Press is disgusting as usual." I groaned.

"For a moment after reading this bloody article I had this crazy notion that I was straight." Freddie admitted. "As ridiculous as that sounds, that was my Threat Level AY-OH and why I texted you. You're the smartest person I know, Brian. You can help me figure out what I'm feeling. I can't go to Jim because that would break his heart. It was much too distressing to bring to Deaky's attention. Poor baby. I didn't want to upset Roger either. He's dealing with too much as is. You're the best person to help me."

"Why would you think you're straight, Freddie?" I questioned. "Are you attracted to Barbara?"

"No, not like that. She's a dear friend and I was acting. Reading how convincing I allegedly was on stage made me feel confused. Was I just acting? I mean love Jim with all my heart. I physically can't get the same pleasure with women that I do with men. But I thought that...I don't know. It's stupid really. Just these daft critics getting into my head."

"Jim is your soulmate and you are committed to him. That's all that matters in the end." I assured him. "Since when did you care about what other people think of you? I've always admired that you're so sure of yourself and live your life the way you see fit. You never let anyone else define your identity. Why start now? This article is rubbish. You're Freddie fucking Mercury and they shouldn't dictate the way you feel."

"This is why I wanted you. Thanks, darling. You're really good at talking me to my senses. There's also something else I wanted to ask you, Brian. Do you remember when I first came out?" 

I nodded, the memory of a decade ago coming back to me as if it were only yesterday...

_I set up the display trying to make everything look perfect. I couldn't mess this up. It wasn't every day you won the national science fair and got to speak about your research as a high schooler in front of an auditorium full of people with PhDs. My girlfriend and family were in the audience as well. I was so nervous that I was shaking. _

_"Knock, knock!" Freddie announced as he peeked his head backstage to greet me. It had been at least a month since I had seen him because he went off to college in September. The house was quieter without him around, but his absence was rather depressing, and Deaky rarely ever smiled anymore unless Freddie called. We were sadly getting used to the adjustment. _

_"Oh Freddie! It's so good to see you! I've missed you so much!" I exclaimed. _

_"Is it just me or have you gotten taller? Didn't I tell you to stop growing?" Freddie laughed. "Get over here and hug me, you giant poodle genius! I'm so fucking proud of you, Brimi. We all are." _

_"I'm so glad you made it." I said sincerely. _

_"I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Besides, I could use some good news to cheer me up. My brother solving world hunger is exactly what I needed." _

_"Um, no, Freddie, my research is on space dust, not world hunger." I clarified. "That is still very much a prevalent problem that I wish I had the answer to. I don't know. We can certainly help do our parts with fund raisers and concerts and such." _

_"You're so smart you'll think of something." Freddie remarked. _

_"So how are things?" I changed the subject. _

_"Um...They've been better. But I got to finally see Deaky and that made me very very happy." That put a smile on his face which he unfortunately hid away with his hand. "Anyway, I don't want to burden you with my troubles. This is your special day. I doubt you want to hear about...about what I'm going through." _

_"Well, I don't want anything bothering you on my special day. What is it, Freddie? Talking will make you feel better." I insisted._

_"Mary and I broke up last night." He finally revealed. _

_Freddie and Mary had been inseparable since middle school. They were prom king and queen. I had a feeling the long distance relationship might spell out trouble now that they were attending separate colleges. Although lately when I spoke to Freddie on the phone he seemed less interested in Mary and rarely spoke of her. "Aww, Fred, I'm so sorry." _

_"Don't be. As much as I love Mary, it wasn't meant to be. I couldn't keep lying to her and to myself. Brian...I...there's something you should know about me. I don't want to hide it any longer. I'm sorry." Freddie shook his head stifling back tears. "I've known for my entire life, but...but I thought maybe I could...I don't know I could suppress my feelings, but I can't anymore. Even Mary's noticed. I-I'm just not interested in her in that way. I don't think I've ever been." _

_I had a feeling despite Mary. Freddie dressed flamboyantly and would refer to other men as dear and darling. To me it meant nothing, and I didn't want to speculate on his sexuality. Freddie was free to express himself however he chose. Freddie was Freddie and he'd always be my brother. I saw him no differently than the kind boy with a tremendous talent who loved cats and stood up to bullies. _

_"I love you, Freddie." I said. _

_"My soulmate is probably going to be another man." Freddie finally exhaled. "I'm gay."_

_"I still love you." I reiterated. _

_"You've always been there for me, darling. I was scared you and everyone else would turn their backs on me." Freddie whispered. _

_"Never." I promised. _

_"What will Deaky think? My poor baby won't look at me the same. Miami will disown me and send me back to the orphanage."_

_"You're 19 years old, Freddie. You can't go back to the orphanage. Miami would never ever do that. He has a big heart and loves you unconditionally just like I do. And you're Deaky's hero. He would never look at you differently. When you're around he's always happy. No one else has that effect on him. We all love you, Freddie. Nothing is going to change. I swear we'll stand by you." I knew for a fact John wouldn't hold this against Freddie. In fact, the two of us ought to throw him a coming out party to celebrate. _

_"Thank you, Brimi." _

"I want you to give me away." Freddie stated. "Because you were the first person I told and embraced me." 

"What about Miami?" I asked. 

"I've known you longer than him. Ever since we've met at the orphanage it's been us against the world. You've supported me in taking care of baby Deaky and adjusting into a new home and pursuing my passions. Now I want you to be there to deliver me into my next stage of life. Please, Brian. It would mean the world to me. I know you're not older, but you might as well be mentally." He reasoned. 

"I won't let you down, Freddie. If you want me to give you away, I'd be honored." I said and gave him a hug. 


	25. We'll Sing to you in Japanese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys arrive in Japan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I'm not gonna talk about my mental health status, but let's just say the coronavirus is making me super paranoid and on the verge of mania. We'll leave it at that. Now let's talk about things less personal...
> 
> For the record, I've never been to Japan and know very little about the culture. My inspiration for this is Queen's trips to Japan over the years and google images of Japanese gardens.
> 
> Anyway, I have a very fucked up idea for the plot later on in this story that will take a very dark turn. I'm debating with myself over whether or not to do it. If and when we get to that part, I will put up trigger warnings because it will be intense.
> 
> As for this chapter, there is a very brief mention of suicide and an angsty arch with Uncle Clem as well as slight signs of trouble in paradise with our Maylor lovebirds (that is building up to more stuff later) so be prepared for that....
> 
> Also be on the lookout for a cameo from a certain someone we love to hate. Hint: It's not Karen even though she is mentioned.

_Roger's POV_

First impressions of Japan? I freaking loved it! The scenic inn where we were staying overlooked the most beautiful garden with these pink cherry blossom trees. I just couldn't get over how incredible everything looked. Even in the winter the pinks and greens were so very vibrant. We were lucky because the winter was very mild this season. No snowfall yet. I sighed laying back against a rock and dipping my toes in the icy cold water of a pond with a splashing fountain. My hands caressed the soft grass beneath me as I listened to babbling of the flowing stream. It was good to check in on my other senses every now and then to make sure they were still strong. I relied on them a lot less now.

Still, there was calming quietness around us. The others were peacefully meditating alongside me. Brian was resting beneath one of the cherry blossoms appearing lost in his own world, so I let him be, not wanting to disturb him. John and Veronica were seated beneath the gazebo hand in hand, just staring up at the clear blue sky. And Freddie? The man usually so full of energy and prided himself on never sleeping was literally sleeping. Jim held him as they were sprawled in grass with their eyes closed.

"I am one with nature." I exhaled. "And nature is one with me." A droning sound right by my ears startled me and I nearly fell into the water. I screamed seconds before realizing that it was just a buzzing fly. "Bug off!" I cried and squished the pest.

Freddie sat up. "Roger, what did you do?"

"I just killed a fly." I replied. "Go back to sleep."

"Wait. You did what?" Brian snapped out of his daze.

Ah shit! Here we go. I rolled my eyes preparing for a typical reprimand from my animal loving boyfriend. "I killed a fucking fly. Get over it, Brian."

"Carry on, darling. I support the swatting and killing of all fruit flies." Freddie condoned and laid back down.

"Well I certainly don't approve. All life is precious." Brian argued. "What did that poor little fly do to you, Roger?"

"It was annoying me. Buzzing around my head. I had to do something." I explained.

"Either move or share the space with him. Don't kill him. Just because something is annoying doesn't give you the right to take its life. What if someone squashed you like that just because you were being annoying?" Brian lectured.

"Are you calling me annoying?" I challenged.

"Oh come on, Rog. You know what I mean. Don't take this personally. This isn't about you. It's about the fly." He argued. "You know what you did was wrong. Just acknowledge that you hurt an innocent creature and learn from it so you don't do it again. Then we can move on."

"That's idiotic. I'm not going to apologize for killing a bloody fly!" I exclaimed.

"Will you two please stop fighting and just enjoy that we're here!" Deaky blurted. "Believe me you'll have your entire married life ahead to bicker. For now let's just be quiet and observe the view."

"Wise words, darling. Of course I'm not surprised. Everything you say is brilliant even if you don't say that much." Freddie nodded. "Brian, Roger, either get a room and fuck, or shut up. You're ruining the magnificent ambiance for the rest of us."

"Fine." Brian huffed. "Roger, we will talk about this later."

I flipped him off. I cast my gaze up to the sky focusing on the few fluffy white clouds to show I wasn't interested in talking about this anymore. Brian was blowing things way out of proportion. He was just upset that he left the badger issue unsolved back in England before we arrived. I knew he was under pressure because the deadline for the vote on the bill to end the cull was coming up in the new year, but he shouldn't take it out on me. It wasn't my fault if the House of Commons rejected their team's efforts to protect the badgers.

"Farrokh! Why didn't you tell me you've arrived?" A woman with a warm smile entered the garden. She spoke with a Japanese accent but her English was perfect from what I could tell.

"Keiko!" Freddie exclaimed. "Oh darling, it's so good to see you again! You have to meet my family and my soon to be hubby, Jim Mercury--I mean Hutton. He's just lounging with me over here." Jim waved casually as Freddie rambled on. "We're all tired from the flight and the jet lag, so don't mind us being lackluster. This garden is just as gorgeous as I remember. It really cast a spell on all of us and now we don't want to leave. It's so very peaceful. I absolutely love it!"

"I am so pleased to hear that. Let me know if there is anything I can do to make your stay here and of course your wedding special. I was looking forward to meeting your groom and your family." Keiko bowed politely. "Greetings! My name is Keiko. I inherited this inn from my father and it is now my livelihood. Farrokh and I are friends. We met when he last visited Japan about two years ago."

"Oh let me tell the story!" Freddie interjected. "It was a dark and stormy night..."

"Cliche." Deaky murmured. The stormy part was cliche, but for me until recently every night was a dark one.

"Shush, my little creampuff, I'm telling a story." Freddie cleared his throat. "It was a dark and stormy night, and I was at a gay bar..."

"That is less cliche." Deaky interrupted again.

"I was celebrating the end of another great show." Freddie went on. "I had a little too much to drink, so I wandered out of the bar in the rain because you do stupid things when you're inebriated. I got terribly lost and dreadfully wet. Then Keiko happened to be walking by with an umbrella. She recognized me from the ballet because she had attended the performance the other night. She let me stay here at her inn and offered me a warm meal and warm clothes even though I couldn't pay her back because my daft drunk ass had left my wallet in my coat jacket back at the bar. I will never forget her kindness and this wonderful little inn that she runs in the memory of her Papa."

"Sadly I don't run it as well as him but it was always his dream and I want to live up to that." Keiko said. "Business hasn't been going well. Especially now that our general manager quit after dealing with too many screaming Karens. Farrokh has been so nice trying to encourage more people to come here and now we're hosting a wedding which is very exciting!"

"Why do you keep calling him Farrokh?" I asked.

"I tend to spill the tea when I'm drunk, so I told Keiko all of my darkest secrets. That includes my real name among other things." He said with a mischievous smirk. "Anyway she calls me Farrokh because it translates to Happy in Persian, and the name Keiko also means Happy in Japanese. So she is the only one who gets to call me Farrokh because our names are linked. For everyone else call me Freddie please or else I will get terribly irritable with you, and nobody wants to deal with a grumpy Mercury."

"Wow! That's a touching story!" I looked up at the sound of the familiar voice to see Uncle Clem entering the garden. "Hi everyone! It sure is beautiful here."

"How was your flight?" I asked.

"What can I say? It was bumpy, but we made it here in one piece, so no complaining." Uncle Clem replied. "Say, you boys wouldn't mind filming the commercials out here? This garden is a great backdrop. It's so beautiful! I'm surprised business isn't doing as well as you'd like, Keiko. With a little marketing, this inn has the potential to become very popular."

"What commercials?" Keiko asked.

"We're making commercials for Clementine's Miracle Juice, Clem's brilliant product. You should try it Keiko. It really works if you believe." Freddie explained. Brian coughed but it suspiciously sounded like the word "scam".

"If you let us film in your garden, we'll include the name of your inn and get you some free advertising." Uncle Clem offered.

"I see no problem with that. I have to prepare the dining room for the dinner shift. Let me know if you need anything. It was a pleasure to meet all of you and great to see you again as always Farrokh." Keiko bowed again and then left us to enjoy the serenity of the garden.

***

"So last week I got together with a buddy of mine and we filmed a commercial. I'm gonna make two more with you two." Uncle Clem told me and Freddie. "Watch this one so you can get an idea of what I'm looking for." He pulled up a fuzzy video on his flip phone.

"Is that your friend?" I pointed to the man on the screen. "How do you know him?"

"Let's just say he owed me a favor or two." Uncle Clem replied cryptically. "Now watch."

The man in the video was sitting down, but his chair was moving. "Hello, my name is Lloyd. I having crippling polio and the vaccine won't cure me." He coughed. "Good thing I have Clementine's Miracle Juice!" Lloyd held up the drink and uncapped the bottle. Seconds after drinking it, he stood up from his chair. "It's a real miracle! When medicine fails, it will work for you. Clementine's Miracle Juice. Call the number on your screen to order."

What the hell did I just watch? I blinked trying to take it in.

"Brian and Miami are right, you really are a scam artist." Freddie laughed. "I hope this is a joke, darling. If you air this, then you're no better than a snake oil salesman."

"Okay Lloyd doesn't actually have polio or need the wheelchair and I may or may not have met him in jail, but what difference does it make?" Uncle Clem attempted to justify. "Someone in that position for real might be looking for hope because all else is failing. I can really help people in dire conditions gain optimism. They say a positive outlook increases your life expectancy."

I was aware that the miracle juice was a cure all placebo, but I persuaded myself to believe in it. Those reoccurring nightmares of returning to the darkness were always on the horizon. Even if it was nothing more than orange seltzer, the juice gave me reassurance that everything would be alright. I'd keep these eyes, and Brian wouldn't leave me...

"You're a charlatan." Freddie accused. "I thought you were better than this. We had that whole conversation in the bar the other day about how you were a changed man. I told Miami I forgave you and not to hold a grudge."

"Oh come on, Freddie. It's really no big deal. Lloyd is only acting. All you've gotta do is read the fine print to know the truth. Besides, 39% of all profits are going to the academy for the blind and visually impaired that Roger attended. It's a good cause. The miracle juice can really lift some of those kids' spirits." Uncle Clem smiled at me sincerely and I had no choice but to nod. "Here, I wrote you up some scripts for your commercials. Feel free to improvise."

"I don't know about this, dear." Freddie said hesitantly as he looked over his script. I did the same. What was written on the page was appalling. I didn't want to lose faith in Uncle Clem, the only person who I thought believed in me, but I had to draw the line somewhere. The fact that Uncle Clem even translated mine into Braille made me sick to my stomach.

_'Hi my name is Roger. When I was just 2 years old, I went blind. Doctors tried to restore my sight for decades. I needed a miracle and that's exactly what I got.__ Thanks to Clementine's Miracle Juice I can finally see the world...__' _I didn't bother reading any further knowing where this was going. I may not be the brightest person (no pun intended), but I knew when I was being exploited. I ripped up the piece of paper. "This is a lie! You promised me no more lies. I got my sight back but no thanks to you and your stupid fucking miracle juice. Why don't you get a real honest job? And don't try to loop me into it. Pitying me and using me for your project only makes you feel better about yourself but I won't stand for it!"

"Was the fin on your back part of the deal? Shark!" Freddie declared throwing his script at Uncle Clem's face and dramatically stormed away.

He didn't bother chasing after the prima donna, instead he tried to talk to me, but I wasn't in the mood. "Roger, please." Uncle Clem said. "I love you. I don't pity you. I want to do something impactful. Do you know why I came up with this idea for Clementine's Miracle Juice? I did it for you, Roger. That was the original plan. I wanted to give you your sight back."

I rolled my eyes. "It wouldn't have worked. And if you sell this to other people in need, you're going to let them down big time. Do you have any idea how heartbreaking it was for me surgery after surgery being told it would work. Each time I believed I would open my eyes and see something, but I didn't. It was so shattering for me. The last time nearly broke me. It's good to have hope and optimism, but lies like this might encourage people to do something stupid when they inevitably don't get the result they're looking for."

I shuddered remembering that dark depression I fell into after the doctor from Chicago couldn't help me. Many of my peers were finally able to see while I still suffered in the dark. I had nearly succeeded in taking my own life. Thank God I failed. There was too much to live for. Fortunately, I learned that there was always at least a bit of light when I started my job at the library and met John. I was given a second chance. Others might not be so lucky.

"Listen to me, Uncle Clem, this shit could have serious consequences. You can't lie to people on this large of a scale. Fucking orange juice won't cure the blind. I know in my heart that you see thee problem as well and you're trying to do the right thing, but your greed and your ego is getting in the way again." I cried.

"I'm sorry, Roger. I thought that this would help, and you'd be proud of me." He said. "I guess I understand if you don't want to be a part of it anymore. I'm still gonna donate my profits even if you and Freddie don't participate in the marketing. So you don't have to worry about that."

"If you gave a damn about me, you'd shut this whole thing down and get a normal job. And if you want to help people, maybe consider volunteering at the school or something. Opportunities in community service are always available." I advised. "Hell, even Brian says that the wildlife preservation where he works is in need of more volunteers. Team Badger is struggling in pushing their bill forward in parliament. They could use all the help they can find."

Maybe having more help in Team Badger would make Brian less preoccupied. I worried about him sometimes. It seemed like the two of us haven't been as solid as we have been since I got my learners' permit. It had to be because of the upcoming bill on the culling. Right?

"I'm sorry." Uncle Clem said again. "I think we both need time to cool down. And I want you to really reconsider your thoughts about Clementine's Miracle Juice. I'm not trying to manipulate or use you in any way, Roger. You know I'd never do that."

"I don't know what I believe." I sighed.

As Clem left I picked up Freddie's abandoned script out of curiosity. Oddly enough it was much simpler than mine.

_*Sing badly* Let me try that again after drinking some of Clementine's Miracle Juice. *Sing as you normally would* ..._

I didn't need to read anymore. Now I understood why Freddie was just as offended. You don't tell him of all people to sing badly. Was Freddie even capable of doing that? I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the rubbish bin along with the ripped pieces of my script as well. That was where it belonged.

***

I returned to our room to see Brian unsurprisingly on the phone discussing bovine tuberculosis. He looked up at me and gave a slight nod, but continued the conversation as if I wasn't even here. If we were at home I might allow this kind of behavior to slide, but this was ridiculous. We were on vacation. And I really needed him right now. I was in the mood for a cuddle after all that went down with Uncle Clem. Brian didn't react when I settled myself onto his lap and began to play with his curls.

"...Yes, and we are working with farmers to see if the vaccinations are helping their cattle. I understand that the evidence may not be as conclusive as you'd wish, but it's more than what can be said about this draconian badger cull..."

"You're so sexy when you talk about evidence and stuff like that." I flirted trying to get his attention.

"Shush, Rog! Can't you see I'm on the phone!" Brian rarely ever raised his voice with me. I flinched. Was there more to this than the badger business? What was wrong with us? Well I wasn't going to be disrespected like this.

"Oh yeah I see that fine." I retorted. "You know what else I see? My boyfriend bloody ignoring me. That's what I see. Sometimes sight sucks!" Never thought I'd say that, but I couldn't allow Brian to just ignore me and yell at me.

"...Yes, I'm aware, but do you really want to risk the lives of innocent badgers for something that may not even be beneficial to anyone?" Brian continued to talk.

This called for immediate action. "Well I'm gonna take a hot shower in which I'll be completely naked and all wet. So if you need me, you know where to find me." I said and proceeded to go to into the bathroom.

I was disappointed to be showering alone. I really expected Brian to give into the temptation. Was it me? Did he lose interest in me? Were we no longer in the "honeymoon" phase of our relationship? What did I do wrong? I feared that this would happen. As he implied earlier, he no longer found me cute but now annoying. It wasn't my fault. I was trying my best not to rely on him as much.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so obnoxious when Brian was dealing with an issue that was very important to him. I should respect his work more even if it took him away from me. I was just concerned that it was more than just Brian's badger business coming in between us.

I stepped out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel. Hopefully Brian was off the phone because we really needed to talk.

"Hey." Brian was no longer preoccupied with the phone. "Sorry I raised my voice like that. You don't deserve that. I'm just under pressure. You won't believe what these farmers are saying to us. And the intern Lynette is still missing. Her family doesn't even know where she is. It's a police investigation now. That's very worrying. But none of that justifies me not devoting enough attention to my little ray of sunshine. Come here, sweetheart."

"You're not annoyed with me?"I questioned.

"What? No. Why would you think that?...Oh is this because of what I said about the fly earlier? Forget about that. I was overreacting. I was thinking about all those poor badgers being killed because of the cull. I shouldn't have made such a fuss about the fly. Forgive me, baby. Please."

I told him it was all okay with a sweet kiss. We were alright. It was just my insecurities getting the best of me as usual.

"So how was your shower?" Brian asked. "You didn't need my help."

"It would've been nice to have you helping me." I giggled. "But we can make up for that now."I reached for the zipper on his pants but he stopped me.

"I was talking about help with figuring out how to turn the water on and switching it from hot to cold. Sometimes that can be confusing." Brian clarified.

I frowned. "Why would I need help with that? I'm not stupid. It's not rocket science."

"I don't know. It just crossed my mind. You know you've been navigating pretty well without my help. All through the airport and wandering around the inn and such." He observed.

Where was Brian going with this? "That's a good thing, right? I thought we were working up towards my independence. That's always been the goal. At least for me it's always been. I want a normal life. That'd be ideal. I don't wanna have to depend on you for everything for the rest of my life. I doubt you want that too. Your focus should be on more important things. It's selfish of me to need you when there are dying badgers. But I know that your hard work will pay off and your bill will pass and the cull will end."

"We can only pray." Brian replied. "But this isn't about the badgers, Roggie. I love that you're getting more comfortable with yourself and becoming more independent. But...Well, do you still need me?"

I gasped. Poor baby was just as insecure as me. Time to put his fears to rest. "I'm not as reliant on you as I was just a few months ago, but I still need you all the same.We're a team and we support each other. Like I told you the other day, I love you because you make me feel safe and very special." I nuzzled myself against him. "And you're such a good cuddler. No wonder all the animals love you, you give the best hugs and snuggles. I'm so lucky to be in your arms."

"And I'm lucky to have you in my arms, love." Brian kissed the side of my head. "I enjoy my role in being there to take care of you, but I'm glad you're adjusting so well and so quickly. It seems like I need to do some adapting myself."

"Bri, you forget about your own needs a lot. They should take priority. So please let me know if you want some affection. You don't have to wait for me to come to you or ask for help with something. I want to be there for you too. We're in this together. I didn't know you felt unwanted because I've been doing more things on my own. So thank you for telling me. Now let me show you how much I still desperately need you."

Nothing else was said after that. We spent the afternoon curled in the bed being as close as we could physically get to each other.

***

I reached yet another milestone! I finally managed to use chopsticks, a skill I had struggled with my entire life. After our conversation earlier, Brian's beam of pride felt even more earned than usual.I laced our fingers beneath the table silently assuring him that he would always be a part of my life no matter how many new abilities I gained.

John laughed as the sushi roll fell from his chopsticks back onto his plate. "I never thought you'd be better at this than me, Rog! Have I ever complimented your hand eye coordination? Well it's about time I do."

"Oh I'm sure Brian knows all about how gifted our little drummer boy's hands are." Freddie laughed making an obscene gesture that made Brian cough on his rice.

I grinned. "Brian's hands shouldn't be discounted either. Those fingers can do magical things." I stifled on a laugh as Brian's face got pinker and pinker. He was so cute when I embarrassed him.

"I have a feeling we're not talking about guitar." Deaky caught on.

"Of course we're talking about guitar. Don't you dare think otherwise, my innocent baby creampuff." Freddie said.

"John also plays guitar brilliantly." Ronnie said with a dirty smirk. Deaky nodded this time unaware of the innuendo.

"I don't kiss and tellbut I'm obliged to say that Freddie is an incredible pianist." Jim announced.

Freddie spilled the soy sauce, falling into a fit of laughter and screams. "Did you just call me an incredible penis, darling? Or was that just my imagination. You should put that in your vows. It'd be so bloody romantic. _Freddie, you incredible penis, I take you to be mine forever_." His impression of Jim's Irish accent could use some work.

"I said pianist not penis." Jim clarified. I lost my composure realizing how much those two words sounded alike. I guffawed so hard I nearly snorted.

I was still wiping the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard when Uncle Clem entered the dining room. The atmosphere shifted from light hearted and silly to awkward and tense in the blink of an eye. No one said anything, but he clearly saw the six of us and went to sit at a different table further back.

"I don't regret inviting him here, but he needs to stop the charade with this miracle juice." Freddie whispered. "It's one thing if it's all fun and games but if he sells it like it's real medicine, then people can get seriously hurt. I don't want to participate in that. I hate to say it, Roger, dear, but your uncle is a bit of a hot air balloon. He just covers it up very well with his charm."

"He has a good heart. We just have to get through to him and encourage him to take the moral high ground." I insisted.

"I don't know, Roger. You might be a bit bias because of everything he's done for you, but you have to admit he's a little too adamant in marketing this panacea." Brian remarked.

"Let me talk to him again." I decided. "Maybe I could reach a breakthru."

I approached Uncle Clem's table and sat down across from him. His gaze was curious. "You walk with a lot more confidence now that you can see. Good for you, Roggie!" That observation wasn't much of an ice breaker.

"Have you given any thought to what I said earlier?" I decided to skip the small talk.

He sighed. "I can't just abandon this project, Roger. I don't have any other skills of value outside of persuasion. I was born to be a salesman and I have a passion for it. Now I have to build my own business from scratch like this because no company will hire someone with my background. What else can I do?"

"I told you already. Use that passion towards volunteer work and activism. Team Badger needs volunteers. Brian says an intern mysteriously disappeared and they're scrambling to get all of their resources in check to get the votes they need to secure the bill against badger culling. You can use your skills of persuasion to get the farmers on our side. I don't know why they won't listen to Brian cause he's so brilliant and sweetl, but you might have some luck in talking them out of their stubborn ways." I reasoned.

Uncle Clem glanced back at the table where the others were sitting. "I get the feeling Brian doesn't like me very much."

"He does. He's just aware that all of this miracle juice bullshit is nothing more than a placebo. You can't fool Brian like most people. He's too smart for that." I said.

"You really think he'd be alright with me joining Team Badger?" Uncle Clem asked skeptically. "Have you talked this over with him?"

I shook my head. I just assumed Brian would be on board. It seemed like a good idea. A much better idea than Clementine's Miracle Juice in my opinion.

"Let's find out." I said and walked back to the table gesturing for Uncle Clem to follow me.

"Everyone, Uncle Clem has turned over yet another new leaf. No more Clementine's Miracle Juice." I announced.

Freddie applauded. "You're doing the right thing, darling. We should commemorate this decision by singing to you in Japanese. Does anyone know any Japanese songs?"

"That's alright, Freddie, you don't need to honor me with a song. I didn't do anything worthy." Uncle Clem humbly dismissed the offer.

"So what are you going to do for a living now?" John asked.

"Actually I think I might join Team Badger. Roger says they're looking for volunteers in light of the upcoming House of Commons Bill. I believe I can help out. If that's alright with you, Brian." Uncle Clem said.

"It's a cause very near and dear to my heart. I would encourage anyone to help out in any way they can, but I'd rather you be serious about it. This is being done for the badgers and not a profit." Brian stated.

"Understood." Uncle Clem agreed.

"Very well. Welcome to the team, Clem!" Brian confirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna end this chapter here. Let's all pray for my sanity! Oh and also Tom Hanks and his wife. We need to pray for them. And everyone who has coronavirus. Prayers all around. Peace out!


	26. The Party is Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one seems to remember what happened last night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Hey! Hey! I don't have a writers' block anymore for this one. That dark twist isn't happening, but if you wanna check out what could've gone down check out my Dark Verse fic. As I've mentioned before parties aren't really my thing, and now with social distancing in place they make me even more uncomfortable, so I'm comically cutting Freddie and Jim's bachelor party. This is a more lighthearted chapter and I hope you enjoy it 'cause my moods have been all over the place but I've been swinging pretty low lately.

_Clem's POV_

The last time I partied like that was....Heck I don't remember. Freddie Mercury sure knew how to throw a party. Too bad it was all a hungover memory or lack-thereof .I groaned and blinked open my eyes finding myself passed out on the floor. The room was a mess with tables turned upside, broken chairs, bottles thrown everywhere, and a pair of pink panties just lying there for no reason whatsoever.

"That was the best party of my life!" Freddie slurred. "I totally blacked out after we had a food fight in somebody's face, but it was all worth it!" He sat up, shaking the rainbow confetti out of his black hair and stumbled over to the trashcan to hurl.

"W-What happened last night?" I found myself asking.

"We're all just a wee bit hung over." Jim murmured as he scooped Freddie up into his arms. "Come love, let's get you to a proper bed. You'll feel better after you've rested some more."

"You can't tell me what to do. I'm Freddie fucking Mercury." He wined.

Jim ignored his protests. "To bed with you, mister. You'll thank me later."

"Uh uh babe. Now listen no one stops my party..." Freddie rambled incoherently until he fell back asleep.

It seemed like besides Freddie and Jim, I was alone in the conference hall transformed into a club.I lay back down and rest my eyes for a moment...

"UNCLE CLEEEEMMMM!" Was Roger screaming or did my hangover amplify everything? I grunted and opened my eyes withstanding the headache. Seeing Roger standing upright but appearing upside down from my position on the floor did not help my dizziness. "Rog..." I forgot how to speak for a moment, so I gave the blonde boy a thumbs up and then fell back asleep.

***

"How are you feeling?" A soft voice asked. Someone was being very kind to me based on how my head hurt much less and there was a soft surface beneath me...a bed likely.

"B-Better. Thanks."

Before I could even see who my savior was, something soft and furry and leapt onto my lap. I wasn't familiar with this animal, but it sure was cute and seemed friendly enough. "Hello, there little guy. How'd you get here?"

"She's a girl actually." I looked up to see Brian holding a mug of coffee. "Her name is Sally J and she stowed away on this trip to Japan. Not sure how she managed, but she popped up with the luggage on the bottom of the plane. Ever since we rescued her from Farmer McGregor, she's been mistaking me as her mom and won't leave me alone."

"Well you're a very pretty lady, Miss Sally J, and your Mama Bri is lovely as well. I know he takes good care of you." I told the creature aware that Brian was listening as well.

"Badgers are so magnificent." Brian stated. "And Sally J is no exception."

Ahh. So I was dealing with a badger. Best to become accustomed if I'd be joining Team Badger as planned. I was definitely under qualified. If that wasn't enough I had the feeling that Brian didn't like me very much. I wanted to soothe things between us. I knew he meant the world to Roger, so it would be best if we got along.

"So that was some party." I attempted to make small talk. "I must've gotten pretty shitfaced. Freddie sure knows how to make me feel young. It's like college all over again."

"From what I can remember it was quite a party." Brian remarked. "The specifics are kind of fuzzy."

I had bits and pieces of memories from the night, but it was much like a jigsaw with several missing puzzle pieces, so the picture remained incomplete.

Just then the door opened. It was Roger. "How's Uncle Clem? I just talked to Deaks and he can't remember anything either. Maybe Keiko can help us figure out what we did."

Keiko. Why did that name sound so familiar? Oh! She was the inn owner. I felt sorry for her. She had to clean up our mess. With the inn understaffed, I doubted the cleaning crew would be enough. This place was such a hidden treasure. It was a shame that it lacked the proper management to become a true tourist destination.

"Uncle Clem! Oh good you're awake!" Roger exclaimed. "Do you remember anything that happened last night by any chance? We're all blanking out."

"Clem's the most hungover out of all of us, so I doubt it." Brian said.

"Hey! It's not my fault I'm not used to drinking like this. We don't have access to all the booze in the world in prison, you know." I cried. Maybe that was a little harsh. "Sorry, I shouldn't have lashed out."

"It's alright." As Roger stepped forward I noticed a red marking on his neck. "What's that?" I sat up to get a closer look. Oh man! That could only be one thing. Roger had a hickey. He batted his blue eyes ashamed attempting to cover the spot with his hand. "I woke up with it."

What was that supposed to mean? I turned to Brian. If that shit wasn't consensual, I was going to murder his flat ass. No one laid a hand on my nephew without permission.

"Neither of us remember what happened." Brian said. "We've been asking around, but it seems like nobody can account for what happened last night."

"Well then you two are in luck 'cause Detective Clem is on the case! We'll figure this out, boys." I declared.

"So you're suddenly Sherlock Holmes now?" Brian quipped.

"Bri, don't be a smart ass. You've been so sweet helping Uncle Clem recover from his hangover. Keep that up and spare the attitude. Sassy was never a good look on you." Roger responded.

Was I sensing some tension here or was I just imagining things? I didn't want to believe there'd be trouble in paradise. But with the possible bruise on Roger's neck... No. It wasn't like that. I had no reason to believe Roger was in an unhealthy relationship. Then again, Roger was so innocent and vulnerable. It would be so easy for someone to take advantage of him.

"Maybe we should start with Keiko. I'm pretty sure she was at the party or at least poking in and out to check on us." Roger suggested.

"That's a good lead, Watson." I teased getting Roger to smile. "Let's investigate."

As I slowly got up from the bed, Roger eagerly rushed to the threshold. "Careful, Roggie!" Brian and I called at the same time. Brian got to him sooner anticipating that he'd trip over the step. "I've got you." He caught Roger before he could take a tumble. "Please watch your step, honey. You don't want to give me a sheer heart attack."

Unfazed by the almost fall, Roger shrugged casually. "Thanks, Brimi!" He pecked his boyfriend's cheek. "I don't know where I'd be without you."

I had to be wrong. Their relationship seemed so wholesome, and there was such compassion in Brian's hazel eyes when he looked down at Roger. Those eyes were also incredibly smart. They saw through my bullshit. That was why we weren't getting along. Hopefully Brian would be wise enough to see that I was trying to turn a new leaf and accept that.

***

We meandered beneath the outside awning overlooking the garden as we made our way to Keiko's office. A crisp breeze ruffled the leaves from the pink cherry blossom trees. I intake a breath of fresh air. This was so much more lively than rec time in the yard. Roger paused casting his eyes up at the vast sky completely mesmerized. I shared that same awe having spent 15 years unable to have these quiet moments of nature that were truly magical. "The sky is so blue." I exhaled.

"Yeah it's...Hang on, I thought you said your princess soulmate story was all a lie." Roger frowned.

"How surprising." Brian said under his breath. I chose to ignore him.

"It was a lie." I acknowledged hoping we could at long last move past my dreaded mistakes.

"Then how in the world are you seeing blue?"He wondered.

Blue? Oh my God! The sky. Roger's eyes. I saw color! When the hell did this happen? How did I not notice? The world was bright and color encircled me leaving me flabbergasted wondering how I could have missed this. "I-I must've met my soulmate at the party!" I gasped. Why couldn't I remember?

"Don't worry. I have really good luck when it comes to these things. We'll help you find whoever it is." Roger exclaimed.

"It's only a matter of retracing your steps." Brian said. "The first thing we need to do is find out everyone who was at the party. Freddie likely knows because it was his party. But we also have Keiko to rely on because she was hopefully sober unlike the rest of us."

"Then we should start with Keiko. I'd trust a sober mind and we're already on our way over to her office." I decided.

"Yay! I'm so excited!" Roger shouted. "You're gonna find your soulmate, Uncle Clem! And then you're going to live happily ever after like me and Brimi and everything will finally be as it should be." Maybe I was looking at him through rose colored glasses tinted with the nostalgia I remembered him by, but there was something so childlike about him. To see him so joyful was everything for me.Roger skipped ahead merrily singing Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Daby the Beatles. He was just so pure it made my heart soar.

"I don't think there can be anything more precious than that." Brian observed.

"He's genuinely happy and I hope you realize how special that is." I told him.

"HEY!" Roger hollered from across the way. "Are you two coming or not? We've got a mystery to solve!"

"Right then. Let's go find your soulmate before Roger bursts from all his enthusiasm." Brian said leading the way to Keiko's office.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting going to visit the inn keeper. We found her painting her nails with a red polish. She glanced up and flashed us a dazzling smile. "Hello boys. How can I help you? Farrokh says I'm not allowed to work today because I do too much and should treat myself, but if you need anything he does not have to know I'm disobeying him."

"That red in your nails really brings out your coloring and complexion." Was I noticing color for the first time or was Keiko extremely attractive? Probably both.

"Yes. Farrokh said red was my color and he's usually right about these matters." She said looking down at her nails. "I wouldn't know much about color. I just started seeing it."

Ah, so she was taken. I didn't know why I felt upset by the matter. It was no surprise that a beautiful woman would have found her soulmate by now. I should be happy for her.

"Did Freddie give you that nail polish?" Brian asked.

Keiko nodded. "Farrokh is so generous giving me gifts and makeup and fashion suggestions. He is a man of many talents."

"It's his way of repaying you for your kindness. Freddie has a big heart and I'm glad you recognize that." Brian said.

"So you were at the party last night?" Roger blurted.

"I stopped by. Everyone was very drunk." Keiko told Roger. "You were very loud, screaming and smashing things. You reminded me of a toddler. It was a bit endearing to be honest."

I knew Roger as a toddler, so not much had changed. He was still that chaotic beam of energy.

"I can get a little destructive when I'm drunk. I hope I didn't cause too much damage." He murmured.

"It is alright. Brian stopped you from causing too much trouble. I think that hickey speaks for itself." Keiko averted her eyes and gave a sly smile. "Once you two started snogging, you didn't break anything else thankfully."

"And Roger didn't seem to mind being kissed?" I had to make sure. I trusted him to make proper judgements while sober, but adding alcohol into the equation made things different.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brian demanded.

"From what I saw, Roger was trying to escalate things to more than just snogging and Brian reminded him that they weren't alone." Keiko explained.

"Ah that makes sense. The hickey must have been a compromise. Something dirtier than kissing that we could actually get away with in public." Brian reasoned. Roger giggled and kissed his neck.

I was searching for problems that didn't exist. They were perfect. "Sorry, Brian. I just had to make sure Roger wasn't being taken advantage of."

"I would never!" Brian cried. "Why would you think that?"

"He means well. Go easy on him, Bri." Roger spoke up. "And Uncle Clem, you've gotta understand that Brian doesn't just take care of me, but he loves me. I trust him with every fiber of my being because he's the love of my life. So I wish you two would get along because you both mean so much to me. That means no more lies and accusations and no more assumptions and rude remarks. You both wanna make me happy, then suck it up and be nice to each other goddamnit!"

"You're right, Roggie." Brian sighed. "Let's start over...again. Clean slate. No more miracle juice BS. We both just want what's best for Roger and the badgers. Can we agree to that please?"

"Of course." I accepted the truce. The badgers were cute but I cared for Roger infinitely more. If giving up my passion project for a life devoted to animal charity would please Roger, I'd do it with a smile. Everything was for that lovable boy who had been through hell and deserved nothing but rainbows and sunny skies.

"Sorry to barge in here and involve you in these personal issues, Keiko." Roger apologized. "We just want a record of what happened last night, but you've been helpful."

"Yes," I agreed, "and congratulations on finding your soulmate!"

"Oh." Keiko blushed. "I haven't found him yet. I danced with quite a few men before I realized I saw color. It could have been any of them. I'll have to ask Farrokh to track them down for me although I'm assuming most of them prefer the company of men."

"Yes there were a lot of gay strippers, but they were willing to dance with everyone men and women from what I can remember. We all just wanted to get drunk and have a good time. Great vibe until the hangover kicked in." I recalled.

"I believe I was the only one not drunk, but I was somehow pulled into the conga line and ended up dancing with everyone for a little while, yourself included." Keiko said.

"Nah, I think I would remember dancing with someone as cute as you. Whoever your soulmate is, he's one lucky guy." I flirted. No harm since she wasn't as taken as I originally thought.

Keiko giggled. "Likewise. You probably make your soulmate very happy or will in the future if you haven't found her yet."

"Oh for fuck's sake! Are you two blinder than me?" Roger shouted out of nowhere.

"What are you talking about, Rog?" I asked.

"Do I have to spell it out for you!" He cried. I turned to Keiko who shrugged likely having no clue what he was saying either.

"Let's review the facts." Brian said. "You two both danced at the party, and then you saw color afterwards."

"Oh my goodness!" Keiko squealed.

"What?" I asked.

"You found your soulmate, Uncle Clem. She's right in front of you!" Roger exclaimed.

"Wait...Keiko? Are we soulmates?" I blinked taking it all in. I heard Roger calling me a dolt under his breath, but all I could focus on was this beautiful woman in front of me. My real soulmate! This wasn't some made up princess. She was authentic, and we were meant to be together.

"I-I don't know what to say." Keiko smiled shyly. "You're um...You look very handsome."

"You too." I stammered. Damn it! "I mean pretty. You look very pretty."

"I am such a matchmaker!" Roger sang.


	27. When I Look and I Find no Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas and Freddie and Jim's wedding!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my brain is broken. This is what it's been like for me in my head nonstop:
> 
> AAAA!!! CORONA!!! AAAA!!! Also here's the next 5 chapters of the Blind AU. Get started on that right away, Beth...No wait never mind you no longer have a writer's block for the dark verse. You should get on that. You're welcome. Remember about that PANDEMIC!!!! But we can't forget about school either. School is hard. Let's focus on not failing or falling behind. While you're at it here's a brilliant story idea: Roger and the Beanstalk in which Roger befriends a gentle giant with curly hair. But also Blind AU but your other stories too but Blind AU. And also QUARANTINE!!!
> 
> Haha *sobs*. I'm trying to manage. Anyway here's the next chapter...

_Roger's POV_

The morning of Freddie's wedding, we were woken up at an unfair hour by a phone call. I was still asleep and unaware that tonight was Christmas Eve when Brian sleepily answered. He must have fumbled with the buttons in his tiredness because the caller was on speaker. _"Merry Christmas! Your star, Maylor, has been officially added to our registry, and you should have received a star chart and certificate in the mail."_

Fuck! I knew there was a time difference here in Japan, but that call was supposed to be a Christmas gift, and now it wasn't even special. Now I was fully awake and pouting as Brian just ran a hand through his unruly bedhead curls in confusion.

"Um...Surprise! I bought us a star for Christmas." I tried to make it a more joyous occasion with a warm smile and a pair of jazz hands.

"You bought us a star?" Brian yawned.

"Mhmm. Named it Maylor. It was supposed to be a Christmas gift, but now it's spoiled. I hope you like it anyways." I said.

"It's not a real star, but I appreciate the sentiment. That's so sweet of you. I absolutely love it. It may not be official, but we have a special star to call our own. Thank you, baby. I couldn't think of a more fitting Christmas present." Brian pulled me back into our cuddle position with my head resting in the crook of his neck.

"So is Maylor your new favorite star?" I asked, leaning up to kiss the bottom of his chin.

"It's not a real--Oh screw it! Yes, Maylor is my favorite star because it reminds me of how much I love you. Now let's go back to sleep because we want to be well rested for the weddin--"

This time both of our phones went off, and it was a text message sent to us and Deaky.

**Freddie**😺**: **_Threat Level: AY-OH!_

"That can't be good." Brian murmured.

"Let's go check up on him." I decided.

***

Deaky was already in Freddie's room comforting him. Poor thing was a mess sniffling and shaking. I wonder what happened. "Here, Freddie, why don't you have some cheese on toast." John offered. Apparently he had some already prepared.

"Thank you, Deaky, my dear." Freddie wiped the tears in his eyes with the slice of bread.

"What happened?" I cried.

"Was it another nightmare?" Brian wondered. "You know we're here for you, Fred."

"This is why I don't sleep." He sighed. "My nightmares are so vivid they're scary. And this one was even worse because I woke up alone. Jim can't be here to comfort me because it's bad luck to see the groom the day of the wedding."

"Was it the nightmare where the balcony collapsed?" Brian asked.

Freddie shook his head. "I hate that one, but this was just as bad."

"I hate nightmares." I sympathized. "Maybe talking about it will make you feel better."

"There wasn't much to this one. It may sound ridiculous but in my mind it was so real. Jim and I were enjoying our honeymoon exploring an exotic marketplace. Then we were asked to sample some rather gnarly cuisine. What was it?...Oh yes, roasted bat I believe. I was hesitant but Jim said it would be fine and everyone else was eating it. So I said what the hell darling, and I ate the bloody bat. Then everyone dropped dead from disease and I was the last to go after seeing Jim fall ill first since he ate the bat before I did. Then the bat disease spread to the entire world."

"That sounds awful." Brian said. "But it wasn't real. Jim is fine. No one has any deadly afflictions from eating tainted animals."

"Here's an idea: Don't eat a fucking bat." I suggested.

"Or better yet, don't eat any animal or animal product." Brian ventured.

Deaky quickly hid his cheese on toast. "Don't look at me." He murmured.

"I don't know, darlings, what if all this was a sign?" Freddie sighed.

"That eating bats will cause a pandemic?" I wondered.

"No, that I'm not supposed to marry Jim. What are the odds of having such a crazy nightmare on my wedding day?" He lamented.

"That's ridiculous, Fred. You've been dying to get married to Jim from the moment you two met. You even proposed to him before you bothered to get to know him!" I cried.

"Jim is your soulmate, Freddie and you two clearly love each other. Who else would you marry if not Jim?" Deaky asked.

"Maybe someone whose name has been telling me what to do all along. I should marry Mary." He blurted.

"What the hell?" I shrieked. "No way, Freddie!"

"No, Freddie, you're marrying Jim. Don't be daft." Brian said sternly. "Where is this even coming from? Jim is perfect for you and you two are so happy together."

"Exactly, we're too happy. We never fight. Don't married couples fight all the time? They're always miserable. I'd be miserable with Mary and that would be perfect. Right?" Freddie reasoned.

"You're making absolutely no sense!" I exclaimed.

"I'm not speaking in tongues. It's quite simple really. I'm sparing Jim the heartbreak of being with me." He stated as if that helped.

"What's this really about, Freddie? Are you scared to make a commitment this big?" Brian guessed.

"I just..what if I'm not good enough for Jim? Everything has been going so well between us. I don't want to jeopardize that. I feel like I'm going to fuck up somehow. I always fuck up in relationships. I'm surprised I haven't fucked up yet. It's scary how well we get along outside of the bedroom. I've never been in a relationship where I feel this complete and satisfied both emotionally and sexually."

"That is scary, but it's so rewarding." Deaky said. "You'll find that marrying your soulmate is the best decision you've ever made. You can trust me, Freddie, right?"

"Of course I can, my darling Deaky." He replied.

"Then trust me and know that you are doing the right thing. Say yes to Jim and give yourself to him, alright? It'll all work out in the end. I promise you. Your love will be enough. It will always be enough." He said.

"Why do you always know the perfect thing to say, my little creampuff?" Freddie gave Deaky a hug.

"He knows the perfect thing to say in this case because he's the only one of us to have gone through the whole marriage thing." I said. "Experience speaks wonders."

"But soon you'll have experience, Freddie." Brian said. "Everything's going to be okay. You won't regret this. We have the utmost confidence in you and Jim."

"Thank you, my lovies, all three of you. From the bottom of my heart I appreciate all you do to talk me out of my crazy. I just need to pull myself together because I know I should do better. And with Jim I'll be a free man embarking on the adventure of a lifetime."

"That's the spirit!" I cheered.

"AY-OH!" Freddie declared now with a wide grin. "Let's get this show on the road. Today's the day! I'm ready Freddie to completely surrender to this crazy little thing called love."

***

_Brian's POV_

"I'm so glad we smacked some sense into Fred this morning." I remarked as we walked hand in hand toward the dressing room.

"Mmhmm. Someone had to tell him that walking out on Jim would be a big mistake. You shouldn't give up on love like that." Roger replied.

That statement gave me more faith in the two of us. Roger would never give up on me and vice versa. I'd rather die than ever let him down. Still, I got lost in thoughts about our future. As bright as it seemed there were always questions that lingered. "Do you think married life will be any different?" Logically, it shouldn't change anything about our behaviors, but I had to wonder.

"Maybe." Roger conceded. "But hopefully it will change for the better."

Huh. Leave it to Roger to change my perspective. Change, a constant as the saying goes, wasn't always a bad thing. I was just conditioned to think that way.

"You know a lot of the recent changes in my life have been a good thing. And none of it is as scary as I thought it would be. Part of that is because I have you, Brimi." Roger confessed.

"You handle change with grace and I admire that." I observed. "Change is never easy. Good or bad."

"I wouldn't say that I handle it that well. I mean just the other day I screamed at the top of my lungs for 39 minutes when you moved all of my stuff from the attic." Roger pointed out.

"For the last time, Roger, I didn't move your stash of junk, I reorganized and cleaned it. It was a mess and collecting too many dust bunnies." I cried.

"It's not junk. It's treasure and you had no right to touch it!" He shouted.

"I'm sorry, but a single sock, an old Braille newspaper, and a wad of chewing gum all count as junk." I stood my ground.

Roger shook his head. "Agree to disagree. Let's just go help Freddie."

We walked into the dressing room in time to see everyone fussing over the groom. Deaky, Mary, Joe, Phoebe, and even Miami were making little adjustments to Freddie's suit, hair, and mustache ensuring he looked picture perfect. And boy did they do a good job. Freddie looked absolutely stunning. He was wearing an all black tuxedo suit with a matching classic black eyeliner emphasizing those beautiful big brown eyes. Unlike the state he was in this morning after the nightmare, Freddie was now radiating with palpable excitement and joy one should expect on his wedding day. All and all, he resembled a dapper man you'd find in a high class magazine.

"You look amazing, Fred!" Roger proclaimed.

"I feel like such a blushing bride." Freddie laughed subconsciously putting his hand over his smile. "I just can't stop grinning. I don't think I've ever been this fucking giddy. I can't wait for Jim to see me."

"Let him see you." I said taking his hand and forcing it down away from his mouth. "He's a lucky man."

"He's the luckiest man alive to have someone like you." Deaky agreed. "You're so special, Freddie. Jim honors that and that's why he's so good for you."

"I feel very blessed and loved." Freddie said.****

"I honestly never thought I'd see this day." Miami chuckled. "My oldest boy settling down was unthinkable just a short while ago. Now here we are and I couldn't be happier."

"Thank you, Miami." Freddie stood up to give him a hug as Phoebe finally finished smoothing his hair.

"Bomi and Jer would be so proud of you." Miami said making all of our eyes water.

"I carry my Mama and Papa with me in my heart wherever I go." Freddie whispered.****

When we heard the orchestra begin to play, we knew that was our cue. Freddie asked me to walk him down the aisle and give him away which was an honor.

Roger kissed my cheek and hugged Freddie offering us best of luck before he and Deaky walked down the aisle. Naturally, I'd be walking Freddie down last.

"This is it." He exhaled bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Finally, it was our turn. Jim was standing at the altar wearing an all white suit to contrast Freddie's black one. His eyes lit up the moment he saw his groom to be. A matching smile swept both of their faces and the atmosphere was no longer nerve wrecking but exciting. Next to me Freddie picked up his pace as if he couldn't wait another second of being separated from his love.

"You have a lifetime to look forward to." I told him as I let him step up to join Jim. Meanwhile I took my spot with Roger and the other groomsmen.

"Hello, darling." Freddie said shyly to Jim.

"You look divine." Jim gushed.

What a cute happy couple. They deserved each other. As the ceremony commenced a great warmth swelled in my heart. Roger was right. Change could be good. Adding Jim to our ever growing family of misfits was proof of that.

"...The grooms would now like to exchange vows they wrote themselves."

Jim went first. "I'm not much of a poet so I'll leave the fancy words to you, love. Freddie, I just want you to know how much you mean to me and the lengths I'd go to make sure you feel safe and loved. I often ask myself what I ever did to deserve someone so caring and kind in my life. Now I vow to be the best husband I can to my ability and continue to love you every day for the rest of my life."

"Not a poet? Darling, that was the most beautiful thing I ever heard." Freddie sniffled making us laugh. Next to me Roger was smiling brightly his blue eyes misty with tears as well.

"Jim, my sweetness, I don't even know where to begin." Freddie started his vows. "You take my breath away. You've captured my love, stolen my heart, changed my life. Every time you make a move, you destroy my mind. And the way you touch I lose control and shiver deep inside. Like I said, you take my breath away. And I believe that I was born to love you with every single beat of my heart. Yes, I was born to take care of you every single day of my life. You are the one for me. I am the man for you. You were made for me. You're my ecstasy. It might be a sin to announce this in front of the preacher, but if I was given every opportunity I'd kill for your love. I guess what I'm trying to say is I love you so so much, darling. My vow to you is to always honor you as my soulmate and the love of my life."

"...So do you, Jim, take Freddie to be your lawfully wedded husband?" The preacher asked.

"Aye, I do."

"And do you, Freddie, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"That's an asshole question to ask. Of course I bloody well do."

Marriage wouldn't change Freddie. I couldn't help but laugh at his sass. There was nothing to worry about. Unions of two people didn't mean a total shift in the parameters of the relationship. It just meant that their love would be put to the test. Freddie and Jim were certainly ready. I believed that Roger and I were up for the challenge as well.

"...I now pronounce you man and husband! You may kiss the groom."

Everyone cheered as the perfect couple smooched. "Alright! I'm married!" Freddie shouted. "That's right, bitches! Freddie Mercury is officially off the market! I have a husband now!"

"You _are _a husband." Jim laughed.

"Yes I'm a husband and I also have one and he's so sweet and so compassionate and I love him so much and we are going to consummate so hard tonight! But for now LET'S PARTY!!!"

Just like that, the congregation fled to the ballroom to dine and celebrate. Every time I caught a glimpse of Freddie now as a married man, he seemed unable to contain his joy and was infectiously laughing and smiling. As the meals were being served, the grooms made their way round to each table to greet everyone.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! It's my favorite table in the world!" Freddie approached us. "Is everyone having a good time?"

"I bet you say that to every table." Deaky said.

"Not every table has a creampuff." Freddie bopped his little brother's nose playfully. "I just wanna say thanks for earlier. I can't imagine why I was dumb enough to have cold feet. Today is the best day of my life. We'll catch up later tonight, darlings, but as a gracious host I have to pretend to give a shit about the people at the other tables." He blew us a kiss and then wandered to a different table.

"You know what the secret to a successful wedding is?" Roger asked. I was intrigued and listened expecting wisdom that would help us prepare for our special day.

"Don't serve bats in any of the guests' dishes." He giggled at his own joke like it was brilliant.

"We are going to have plenty of vegan options at our wedding." I said.

"Naturally." Roger surprisingly agreed. "When you get the invitation thing you can check off if you want BriBri bunny food or real food. We'll have both available."

"BriBri bunny food?" I echoed.

"Food for BriBris and bunnies. Mainly lettuce and carrots. Lots of veg. It's gross but they're super cute so they can get away with it and we want to keep them happy by feeding them what they like." Roger stated this as if it were common knowledge.

I wasn't sure if I found that adorable or insulting. Considering it was Roger and most things he did were unintentionally adorable I went with the former.

"And now Freddie and Jim will share their first dance as husbands."

As a dancer, I was surprised Freddie didn't take the lead. As Jim chunkily stumbled across the dance floor in an attempt to waltz (not that I was one to talk) with Freddie in his arms, it somehow worked so perfectly as the two smiled and lovingly gazed into each others' eyes. Everyone was watching them, but they appeared to be in their own private heaven which made us onlookers feel like we were encroaching on their perfect private moment.

"The dance floor is now open for other couples!"

"DISCO DEAKY!" Freddie shouted before John could even stand up. Ronnie grinned taking her husband by the hand. "Nothing too intense." She warned, patting her rounded belly. 

"Dance with me, Brimi?" Roger knew I couldn't resist it when he batted his eyelashes like that. "Pretty, pretty please."

How could I ever say no? As self conscious as I felt about dancing, I couldn't displease Roger. "Very well."

"Wait seriously?" Even Roger seemed surprised I said yes this time. "Yay! Let's go!"

I glanced at the others intimately dancing around us to get a better idea of what to do. Unsure of how to proceed, I awkwardly put my hand on Roger's shoulder. He shook his head and lowered my hand down to his waist. "You hold me here and I hold you up there." Roger dictated reaching up to my shoulder instead. "And then we hold our other hands like this..." Somehow he knew that this was proper and nodded in approval. We began to sway here and there in a slow, unsure manner. "How do you feel?" Roger asked.

"Too tall." I admitted. Our difference in height was more noticeable from this position. "How do you know so much about ballroom dancing anyway?"

"Clare taught me a few years ago when she caught me playing with her music box. Never thought her lessons would pay off." He murmured. "And I think you're absolutely perfect, baby. I was always too small for the lead position anyway. Usually it's the taller partner who does that, and I'm lucky mine has such lovely long, lean legs."

Somehow Roger made everything better. "I love you." I cooed no longer worried about appearing silly.

"Ahh, I love you, too, honey. When I played with Clare's music box, I'd always used to imagine what this would be like. Having a partner to dance with and being able to see him is the best Christmas gift I could ask for."

Little did Roger know that I had an even greater Christmas gift for him, but that would be revealed later...

"So was this a special music box?" I asked curiously.

"I can't really describe it very well because I never actually saw it, but basically whenever you wind it up and the music played, these two little figurines would dance just like we're dancing now and you could feel their movement and their positions if you hold them as the music is playing. Of course the dolls weren't same sex, but that doesn't matter. If Clare hadn't told me, then I wouldn't have known anyway." He explained. "Anyway, it probably wasn't that special, but to me it was."

"If you thought it was special, then I'm sure it was." I said.

The music box was soon forgotten when Roger looked over my shoulder and noticed another couple on the dance floor. "Oh wow! Look at Uncle Clem and Keiko. I'm so happy for them!"

When the music sped up, the couples all disengaged and the dancing became much more lively. Disco Deaky was unleashed complete with his cute little hops. Freddie joyfully danced with everyone, sharing drinks with Jim and peppering his new husband in kisses. Only there was one person who I couldn't take my eyes off and that was Roger naturally. I loved watching him live it up and get slightly drunk, truly enjoying himself as he partied. There was a time not too long ago when he could only achieve small pleasures from something as basic as a music box. Now it was so much easier to evoke that stunning smile, and he brought that happiness with him wherever he went, spreading it like a beam of light.

Roger wasn't as drunk as he could be, but I could smell the alcohol on his breath and he was a bit more jittery than normal. "Merry Christmas, Brimi." He spoke through bites of wedding cake.

"Merry Christmas, Rog." I leaned down and kissed his lips. "Mmm, you taste like vanilla."

"I'm not vegan." He frowned. "I mean the cake is not vegan so the residue on my lips aren't vegan."

"It's fine." I shrugged. If I were less intoxicated then I would care more perhaps, but it wasn't that big of a deal. So long as I wasn't directly eating an animal or animal product on purpose.

"You're certainly enjoying yourself." I said.

Roger nodded. "Weddings are fun! They make me feel festive."

"Me too." I declared putting my arm around him. "I'm glad you're having fun."

"Everything is fun with eyes." He giggled. I missed those childlike statements Roger used to make before he had started to adjust to his new life. Alcohol usually brought it back out when he became too complacent.

"Thank you." Roger said out of nowhere. "I wouldn't have known about this whole world outside of the darkness if you hadn't saved me. Thank you. It's easy to forget what my life was like before..."

Maybe it was best when Roger stayed sober so he didn't have to reflect. I took his hand. "You never have to go back to the way things were before."

"I know. Sometimes, it just hits you, you know. How different everything is now." Roger's gaze was casted toward Clem and Keiko lost in their own little world of love as they ate the cake together. "There's something I have to do, Brian. And it's gonna suck for me, but I know it's the right thing to do."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Without giving me any indication, Roger walked over to Clem and Keiko's table. What was Roger up to?

_Roger's POV_

"Roggie!" Uncle Clem exclaimed pulling up a chair. "Have you tried the cake? It's absolutely delicious! I believe Freddie's friend Joe baked it. Keiko and I were just talking about a possible catering company for this inn."

Seeing how jolly he was told me I was making the right decision. It was going to hurt since I just got Uncle Clem back in my life, but I had to do it, like ripping off a bandaid. I took a deep breath. "Uncle Clem, I think you'd be better off staying here in Japan with Keiko."

"How can you say that, Roger? Our home is back in London. Keiko and I can figure out a solution." He said. "There's always an answer when it comes to love."

"No, my home is in London. Yours is here." I said. "Keiko's inn needs management. I think you're better suited for that position than you are working for Team Badger. You're great at marketing. Working with animals, not so much. You need to follow your heart, and I think you found Keiko for a reason. This is your calling."

Clem sighed. "I didn't even know that Jelly S...or whatever her name was was a badger. You're right, Roger. I'd just be joining Brian's team to make you happy. That's all I want."

"I _am_ happy. You have to take comfort in that. I'm on my path, and now you've finally found yours. Believe me Uncle Clem, if anyone can handle the screaming Karens as an inn manager it's you. This is your purpose, building up this beautiful place to its fullest potential so it will live up to Keiko's father's ambitions." I insisted.

"Why are you making it hard so argue to with you, Rog?" He cursed and gave me a hug. "I'm gonna miss you so much, little man."

"We can still talk on the phone and video chat too...see each other face to face in color. Won't that be nice?" I reminded him.

"Yeah." Uncle Clem agreed.

"You and your family are always welcomed to come and visit." Keiko said. "Farrokh has a home in this inn, so his family and friends will never be turned away either."

"I expect you to visit London as well." I teased.

"Of course. This isn't the end, Roger. This is just the beginning. We're both going to lead honest lives with our soulmates." Uncle Clem said. "And I have you to thank for showing me the way. You've always been my inspiration, Roger, and that won't ever change."

"If I'm your inspiration, then stay on the right side of the law and out of trouble. Okay? I'm serious." I said sternly.

"Anything for you, Roggie." He said. "But I don't wanna have to say goodbye. It's too sad. How about a see you soon?"

"We'll save goodbyes for later, not tonight." I agreed, not needing a reason to be upset on a night otherwise full of celebration. "But yeah when the time comes for us to part, we'll say see you soon."

***

_Brian's POV_

A pillow smacked my face waking me up. "Bri! Bri! Bri! Wake up! Wake up! IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Roger hit me with the pillow again before jumping up and down on the mattress. "IT'S CHRISTMAS!" He screamed. Waking up on Christmas Day was always a joy, but having Roger here driving me crazy made it even more magical.

"I know." I yawned. "Good morning and merry Christmas." I gave the eager ray of sunshine a tender kiss.

"Listen, I'm sorry about the Maylor star being spoiled so I got you another last minute gift." Roger said. "Surprise!" He unveiled a package that was kept hidden beneath the bed without my knowledge.

"Two gifts." I chuckled. "You spoil me rotten, sweetheart." I unwrapped the clumsily put together packaging to reveal a cooking apron marked with the words: 'I LOOK THIS GOOD BECAUSE I'M VEGAN💚'

"I think it suits you well. What do you think?" Roger inquired.

I'd treasure any present from Roger, but this was a very thoughtful gift regardless. "I absolutely love it, baby. Thank you." I said sincerely. Roger squealed in response just getting delight out of bringing me pleasure. I could hardly wait to reveal my gift that I was sure Roger would die for.

"Why don't we get dressed and I can show you my Christmas present." I suggested.

"You got me something too?" Roger gasped. "But Brian I told you last night at the party, my eyes are enough. Nothing you get for me can be better than that. You have permission to quote me on that in the future when I start to take my sight for granted."

I didn't feel the need to point out the slight differences in Roger's behavior as time went by. Growing accustomed to his sight was different than taking it for granted. We both wanted him to move forward in acclimating. And I knew now that no matter how comfortable Roger got with his newfound vision, there would always be a place for me in his life. Of course this gift I was about to give him would definitely help him on his road to independence. Heaven help me.

"Alright!" I announced as we made our way into the parking lot for the big reveal. "Are you ready?"

"I'm dying to know! What did you get me?" Roger exclaimed.

I removed the tarp covering the parked car with a red bow resting on its hood. Roger blinked staring at the vehicle. "I-I don't understand...Y-You couldn't have...No you didn't...I-Is this car...for me?"

"I know you only have your learners permit at the moment so you can't drive alone, but I thought you'd appreciate it nonetheless." I said.

Roger stood perfectly still wearing that same blank expression, but I knew he saw the car in front of him. "Roger?" I was growing concerned.

Then he fainted. I definitely did not expect that to happen. "Roggie?" I rushed to his side.

"Y-You got me a car." He said weakly fluttering open those pretty blue eyes. They welled with tears. "And all I got you was a fake star and an apron."

"Roger, I don't expect you to repay me. It was an impulsive buy but I can afford it." I assured him.

"You got me a car." Roger repeated still in disbelief. Then it must have clicked because he screamed loud enough that you could likely hear it back in London.

"What the hell have I done?" I said half jokingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roger has a car AAAAAAA!!!! This chapter was super fluffy to make up for the Dark Verse which I plan to work on simultaneously when my brain isn't spazzing.
> 
> Also I made a tumblr! Check it out: https://bed-beth-and-beyond39.tumblr.com


	28. An Invitation You Can't Decline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger attends Brian's high school reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my last ever week of college and it feels so weird cause I haven't left the house in weeks and graduation is probably not going to happen. But who cares about me, you're here for the Maylor!
> 
> I guess this story takes place in the year 2017 lol. Don't read into it. I picked the year 2007 because that was the year Brian got his PhD IRL :D Anyway enjoy the fluff!

_Brian's POV_

It was good to be back home. I knew one of Roger's dreams was to travel the world to see all the magnificent sites each country had to offer, but sometimes it felt nice to return to familiarity and comfort of your own place.

"Rog, honey, you can stop looking out the window. Your car's not going anywhere without you in it." I called to my precious boyfriend who continuously peered out the window to ensure his car was still parked outside. Naturally he ignored me and remained glued to the fixture with his nose pressed up against the glass. I'd have to clean up the stain his breath made later. I smiled fondly to myself as I sorted through our mail recalling Roger's first discovery of steam fogging up a mirror after a hot shower. "_AAAA!! Brian, the mirror's broken. We're not in there anymore! We must be cursed! AAA!!"_

"Bri, look what I did!" Roger now caught my attention with a sloppily designed heart with our initials etched by his fingers against the pearly glass. It was already starting to droop with the condensation much to Roger's dismay.

"I wanna marry you." I rarely spoke without thinking, but the words came flowing out of my lips like an unstoppable river.That put a smile back on those pretty pink lips before I could realize what I had just said. Maybe I was still in a wedding mood having just returned from Freddie and Jim's, but there was more to it than that. Just the thought of having Roger at my side as he mindlessly navigated through this new world, oblivious of how much joy it brought me to watch him grow. Even if it was just sorting mail while he stared out the window like a puppy dog, it somehow felt so perfect. I wanted to do whatever the hell this was for the rest of my life because it was where I was meant to be.

"I know." Roger hummed turning back to the window. "We're engaged, remember?"

"I'm serious, Roger." I replied. "I want to set a date. What good is an engagement if there's no wedding?"

"Do you still wanna go to France like Fred suggested?" He inquired.

I gave it some consideration. Destination weddings were fun and all, and getting married by the Eiffel Tower would be romantic, but there was something special about having a wedding close to home. Our community and ties were here. Why make our family and friends fly elsewhere? "Maybe we could honeymoon in Paris instead and have the wedding here in London?"

"I get to see the Eiffel Tower either way and I'm marrying the man of my dreams so whatever makes you happy. If you wanna get married here, Brimi, then we'll have the best damn wedding London's ever seen!" Roger declared.

"Freddie will have our heads if it's not the finest event in the UK, fit for none other than her majesty herself." I laughed. "Honestly, Rog, I don't care so long as I can call you my husband when this is all said and done. That's all I want."

"I already have everything I could ever want." Roger said with grateful tears prickling in those beautiful blue eyes which served a purpose. A pair of functional eyes was probably all he ever wanted, but I spoiled him well beyond it because he deserved so much more. When Roger turned back to look out the window at the parking lot, I realized there was a chance he was referring to his car. Maybe I'd give him the benefit of the doubt...

"So we agreed that it'd be best to wait for baby Robert to be born so we don't inconvenience Ronnie and Deaky. He should be arriving in the early springtime. So how about a summer wedding?" I proposed.

"You know I was giving it some thought. I don't wanna overshadow John and Veronica's anniversary by having ours so close, but on July 1st we'll also be celebrating my first full year of vision. Can we make that our wedding date? I'll always remember that as the day I opened my eyes and saw you for the first time. I'll never forget our anniversary if we schedule our wedding on that day."

"I'll hold you to that promise." Honestly, I was probably more likely to forget our anniversary. I could barely remember where I left my keys let alone dates. That's why I was so grateful that my boyfriend's birthday was just a week after mine, made it much easier to remember. But this was a very special date I should mark down. "It would be very special to get married on that day, wouldn't it?" I sighed, remembering the moment Roger laid his eyes upon me with wonder like it was yesterday rather than several months ago.

"Hey, what's that?" I had gotten used to hearing that phrase or something similar since Roger became a part of my life, but I had completely blanked out lost in thought as usual. So I looked down to see what Roger was referring to this time. It was an invitation addressed to me for...

"Galileo High School Class of 2007 reunion?"

"Oooh." Roger exclaimed. "You should go! And show everyone how successful you became! Saving badgers and solving space right and left like a total badass."

"Solving space?" I shook my head, not bothering to correct him. He was so proud of me, and having a supportive partner was what mattered in the end. I examined the invitation more closely. "I'm allowed to bring one guest." Usually people brought their significant other to these types of events. "Wanna come, Rog? It'll be fun showing you off to everyone."

Roger turned his head in consideration. Then he frowned. "I don't know, Bri. Won't I embarrass you?"

I imagined he "embarrassed" Michael frequently enough for this to be a concern. "Nonsense, love. When have you ever embarrassed me?" I put my arm around him reassuringly. It was supposed to be rhetorical, but Roger replied "The other day when I called you Daddy Long Legs at the airport."

I cringed. Yeah that was pretty embarrassing. To be randomly picked out to be patted down by airport security was annoying enough, but Roger anxiously waiting beside me made matters worse. _"I swear he's not hiding anything dangerous in his hair. Please, leave him alone. He's just my precious Daddy Long Legs. He didn't do anything wrong..." _We were lucky we didn't get arrested with the scene Roger was making.

"Well I don't want to look like a fool when all my old high school friends show up with their husbands and wives and I appear to be single when I'm not. So I would love for you to come with me." I offered again. 

"If it means that much to you, then I'll come." Roger said hesitantly. He looked up in consideration and asked in a small voice "Will Christine be there?" 

The name wasn't ringing any bells. "Who's Christine?" 

"Your ex-girlfriend." He stated flatly. 

"Ohhh. Yes, Chrissie will probably be there. Goodness, I haven't seen her in ages. I wonder what she's been up to all this time." I went to the bookshelf in search of my old yearbook and found it in a matter of minutes. Hopefully Chrissie found the proper man for her. I felt bad for breaking her heart, and she definitely didn't deserve to be cheated on. Of course not many people knew about my short lived relationship with Anita Dobson. Freddie knew about it. I probably mentioned it to Roger in passing, but it was a topic I didn't like to dwell on. 

"Wait...That can't be you?" Roger questioned staring down at the page with curiosity. "Where's your hair?"

"Oh yes. I wore it short in high school, but then I grew it back out because I didn't like it." I recalled. 

"I don't like it either. It makes me uncomfortable." Roger turned the page so he wouldn't have to look at my senior photo anymore. 

"Huh. Somehow you're still better looking than all these ugly ass bitches in here." He observed. 

"Thank you?" Was that a compliment? I couldn't tell. 

Roger looked up at me and brushed aside a dangling curl with his hand. "Don't ever cut your hair, Brimi. If you do I'll have to kill you. And then I'll go blind and cry." 

"I have no plans on cutting my hair. I hate it short." I a greed. "Without my hair to cover my face I look so u--"

"--Your face is beautiful. That's not the problem. I love your face." Roger surprised me by pecking my face with soft kisses all over. "Your face is perfect. It's the short hair that bothers me. I don't like it because without it you don't look like you, and you're the first person I ever saw. I need you to keep looking like you. And you can't do that if you have short hair. So keep poodling for the rest of your life please. I need something constant in my life 'cause sights are always changing. I never realized that. I just figured everything would look the same and stay the same, but that's not true. There's shadows and different angles and lights and a whole bunch of scary things that distort images and make it more confusing. But you're always the same." 

"Will my constant poodling as you put it help you adjust better?" I stifled a laugh at how seriously Roger was taking this conversation about my hair. Somehow though it was melting my heart. He nodded vigorously and gave me a hug. 

I turned back to the page with my picture and my senior quote printed beneath it: _"Dust in the Wind ... all we are is Dust in the Wind ..."-Kansas._ Who knew dust could find such great purpose in this world?

"Is that Chrissie?" Roger pointed the picture of my ex with Mullen coming alphabetically after May. 

"Yes that's her." I replied. At the time we were together, I was happy with her for the most part. Looking back now I knew that contentment wasn't anywhere near as satisfied I'd be with my soulmate.

Roger flipped through the pages. "You were voted most likely to win a Nobel Prize?" He gasped. "Why am I not surprised?" 

On the following page was Anita Dobson displaying her backside in high waisted jeans for the most coveted superlative our school honored: rear of the year. What I failed to notice was her handwriting scribbled in the corner written in pink ink "_Brian_" heart above the 'i' _"call me anytime ;)_ _ xoxo (123)456-789 -Anita" _Oh God! I had forgotten all about that, the evidence Chrissie found that made matters so much worse. 

"Ummm that's not Chrissie's name." Roger frowned. 

"I know." I sighed. Did I tell Roger about this? Oh well. He ought to know everything. "I cheated on her with Anita." 

"Why the fuck would you do that, Brian?" He cried. I expected him to be more understanding. "So now I have to deal with two of your ex-lovers at this stupid reunion thing. Are you kidding me?"

"What? No...I'm with you now." I stammered. Nice going, Brian. "Rog, this was ten years ago! I was different person then." 

"How can you be a different person? That doesn't make any sense!" Roger cried. 

"Well for one thing I thought I was straight." I pointed out. 

"Doesn't matter. Once a cheater always a cheater. I fucking knew it." Roger shouted.

"What the hell, Roger? You can't accuse me of cheating on you just from this. You know I would never ever do that. You're the love of my life." I insisted. 

He shook his head. "Nothing can ever be this good for me. There always has to be a catch. The surgeries never work, Uncle Clem leaves and lies, and now..." 

"And now you don't have to feel let down." I told him. "Come here, baby." I pulled the sad eyed blonde up onto my lap to comfort him. Then I came clean...

'_I tapped the number on my phone, praying he would pick up. I had just sent Chrissie out in a fit of humiliation. She likely wasn't coming back, and I didn't blame her. What was wrong with me? _

_"Darling, why the hell are you calling me on your prom night? Did everything work out with the hotel room I got you? Now remember to use the condoms I gave you. You don't want Chrissie getting pregnant. We already have a Deaky and don't want anymore babies running around." _

_"F-Fred...I..." Just getting the words out was driving me to tears. "I fucked up."_

_"What did you do? Are you alright? Are you alone? Say no more, I'm coming over. I'll be there in a flash!" It seemed like Freddie arrived at the speed of light, and that still wasn't soon enough. When he knocked on the door, I rushed to open it, and embraced my brother in a hug as I collapsed into sobs. _

_"Brian! Darling. Shh. Shh. Why are you blubbering mess all of a sudden? There, there, dear. Let Freddie take care of it. Now tell me what happened? Did you misfire because that happens all the time and there's no need to be so dramatic about it."_

_"No." I shook my head. "I...It was worse than that, Fred. I-I...I couldn't..."_

_"You couldn't get it up?" Freddie somehow knew and I nodded feeling so inept. I was so young. This shouldn't be an issue. _

_"Are you attracted to Chrissie?" He asked. _

_Was I? I loved her, but that wasn't the question. I shook my head again accepting what I had known deep down all along. Good thing Freddie had gone through a gay crisis of his own so he could help me out. _

_"You should get a new girlfriend then. Anita Dobson is in your year, isn't she? Back when I did theater she told me she had a big crush on you. I wasn't supposed to tell you, but I'm telling you now." _

_Or maybe I wasn't gay. Freddie would know. He has an instinct about these things. "O-Okay. Maybe I'll see if Anita is in to me..."_

"And I ended up breaking both of their hearts because I finally realized that I was about as straight as my hair." I concluded. 

"But why didn't you break up with Chrissie before you starting dating Anita?" Roger asked. 

"I couldn't tell her...It was dumb of me I know. I just didn't want to hurt her. I really fucked up." I sighed. What a mess I made out of things! "I'm sure they both hate me now."

"I don't think anyone has it in their heart to hate you, Bri." Roger said. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I know you'd never cheat on me."

I looked down at him, cuddled against me so vulnerably. He just looked so soft and sweet. "How could I ever bring myself to do anything to hurt you?" 

"Good. I love you." Roger cooed. "You're a giant idiot, but I love you."

I guess I deserved that insult. "I love you too." I replied.

***

Somehow within the first few minutes of the function, I lost Roger. One minute I was collecting my name tag, and the next Roger was out of sight. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the blonde to talking to a man in the corner. I wonder how that happened. Well Roger was far from shy and would strike up a conversation with just about anyone without being provoked so it didn't surprise me. 

"Brian? Oh look at you!" It was Anita. She hadn't changed much, so I recognized her pretty easily. "How long has it been? Seven, eight years? Time flies! What have you been up to?" She inquired. 

She was being surprisingly warm. Maybe there was less animosity than I thought? "Astrophysics and animal activism mostly. How about you? Did you pursue acting like you always wanted?" 

"Oh I've been in a few commercials, but I was asked to audition for a soap opera, so I'm very anxious about that and hopefully it'll work out." She crossed her fingers. "So are you here with anyone? I thought I saw you walk in with a cute blonde." 

"Yes," I grinned, "that's my--"

"--Oh my goodness! Brian May!" Chrissie interrupted our conversation. She was holding hands with another man. "This is Kyle, my husband. Kyle, this is Brian. Brian, this is Kyle, my husband. We're married. He's my husband." 

"Yeah I gathered that." I said, shaking Kyle's hand. 

Chrissie gave Anita a dirty look but then smiled back at Kyle. "So I take it you've moved on as well?"

"Brian was just about to tell me about his girlfriend. I caught of glimpse of her earlier as they were coming in and she is stunning." Anita said with a twinge of envy in her voice. 

"Actually I--" Hang on, was Roger holding that man's hand? How dare he! All these promises of not cheating and then he turns around and does just that. The nerve! "Excuse me." I strode past the group I was in and went straight toward Roger. 

"...And that's how Clare would let me know that I had to move out of the way without making a scene. Just squeeze my hand and tap her thumb three times. It was way more subtle than embarrassing me by yelling the way Mom would." 

Shit! I should have known better. Of course I trusted Roger. He wouldn't just love me me and leave me for some random guy. Who was this bloke anyway? Roger looked up. "Oh, Brian, there you are! This is my new friend, Tyler. He's a race car driver. Can you believe it? Isn't that so cool?" 

Tyler? Why didn't I remember him. I examined the name tag. Ohhh... "You sat in front of me in homeroom and made dinosaur noises!" I realized. Every high school has at least one of those kids. Most grow out of it. Others become Joe Mazzello. 

"Haha. Yeah." Tyler chuckled. "Now I'm a race car driver. Your blind beauty here is obsessed with cars. He's more excited about my job than I am. You're a lucky man, Brian, he's really something special."

"Me?" Roger gasped. "No! You're a race car driver. That's really, really special! I can't believe it!" 

Before I could respond, Anita, Chrissie and Kyle caught up with us again. Chrissie approached Tyler. "Oh hi. I remember you. You sat next to me in homeroom and made dinosaur noises." 

"Haha. Yeah." Tyler chuckled. "Now I'm a race car driver." He read her name tag. "Chrissie Mullen. Hi Chrissie Mullen. I'm surprised I don't remember you. Usually I remember pretty faces."

"Oh well I was taken back in high school." Chrissie said with a hint of bitterness. "She's taken now too." Kyle, her husband, spoke up. Chrissie ignored him and shook Tyler's hand. They both gasped. 

"Oh my god!" Chrissie exhaled. "So this is what it's like to see in color." 

"Wow!" Tyler proclaimed, looking around in wonder. 

Oblivious to the look of hurt and horror on Kyle's face, the new soulmates walked away hand in hand. Ouch! Usually I was happy when people found their soulmates, but this was hard to watch. 

"Did I just break up a marriage?" Roger blurted. 

"No, of course not. You had nothing to do with it." I assured him. 

"It's alright Kyle." Anita said. "I know how it feels to have the one you love not feel the same." She patted him on the back. Then they both gasped. 

"No fucking way!" Roger squealed. 

What were the odds of this happening twice in a row? It had to be something else, but with the way Anita and Kyle were staring at each other, it was obvious. 

"I guess everything happens for a reason." Kyle remarked. Anita nodded. Like Chrissie and Tyler, they went somewhere more private to get to know each other better. 

"Well it looks like everyone got their happily ever after after all." I concluded. Roger grinned and stared up at me with a happy twinkle in his eyes. "Hazel." He chirped. "Blue." I responded. 


	29. Fridays I go Painting in the Louvre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie is eager to show off his art exhibit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to @jawnslulluby21 for this idea!

_Roger's POV_

"_Like a virgin, seeing for the very first time. Like a viiiirrrrgiiin..." _I belted. _"When your heart beats next to mine..."_ I crooned along with the radio all the while keeping one hand on the wheel and the other on Brian's knee.

"I never thought you'd be a Madonna fan." Brian remarked.

"It's a car radio, I have to sing along to any song that comes on even if I hate it." I reasoned. Cars just had that magical effect on me to turn me into a happy go-lucky theater nerd. I'd be making fun of myself if I wasn't behind the wheel. Although I did have a soft spot for this song now if I sang it with my changed lyrics.

_"...You're so fine_

_And you're mine_  
_I'll be yours_  
_'Til the end of time_  
_'Cause you made me see..." _  
I squeezed Brian's knee all the while grinning like a mad man. So I'm a bit high on life right now. Everything was finally so perfect for me with our wedding date set. Can you forgive me for acting a bit giddy?

Likea Virgin ended and an infectious baseline of the next song filled the car. _'Yo, VIP, let's kick it!'_

"Oh hell no! Anything but that!" I turned off the radio without hesitating. There went my chipper mood. Oh well. Things were still good. I had the love of my life sitting next to me as I zoomed down the streets in the machine of a dream. I never thought things could ever be this good for me.

"Turn left in that lot." Brian instructed.

"Right." I said clicking my turn signal.

"No, left."

"Right." I repeatednot sure why he was correcting me. I made a left turn into the lot. A man at the entrance put a hand up to stop me tapping the sign by the door. "Valet only? Fuck that shit! This is my car." There was no way I'd trust some other jerk to park my car for me and handle my keys. Why was valet a thing?

"Roger, stop!" Brian cried as I drove right past the man and into the rows of cars.

"What is he going to do, arrest me?" I snickered as I pulled into a parking spot ignoring the man chasing after us.

"He could fine you or tow your car. Can't you just act civil for once please?" Brian lowered his face into his hands as the valet man knocked on my window. I was about to end this man's whole career. I unrolled the window. "May I help you?" I retorted sassily.

"This lot is valet only. You can't park here." He stated.

"I just did park here." I replied.

"What's the fee for valet?" Brian asked reaching into his wallet. Why would he wanna pay this bloke for just being a bother?

"You can't park here." The man repeated like a broken record. "Valet costs $25. Go back to the entrance and have us park it for you."

"Here's $39 cash." Brian bribed. "Self parking means a lot to my boyfriend." Did Brian just bat his eyelashes? What the hell? That wasn't fair. Why was he so damn cute?

The man blinked and then took the money. "Have a good day, sirs." Just like that he left us alone. Success!

"I hate valet." I grunted. "No one touches my Carla." My beautiful shiny black Mazda 3 was my most prized possession. So I vowed to keep her safe from all car burglars, wrecks, pooping birds, and valet workers.

"Carla the car? Is that what you're calling her?" Brian snickered.

"You treat her with respect, Bri, or there will be trouble." I threatened.

He rolled his eyes and stepped out of the car waiting for me to lock up, tapping his foot impatiently. "Oh, careful, love, don't trip on the curb!" Damn even when Brian was annoyed with me he always had my best interests at heart. I looked down, noting the curb as I walked. I could get around so much easier now and didn't need any help, but I still held Brian's hand regardless.

"So I have a question and it's kind of dumb." I said as we made our way into the museum. At this point, Brian should be used to my inquisitive nature, but hearing what I was wondering made me feel even more foolish.

"No such thing as a dumb question." He replied. "Ask away."

"What does art look like?"I guess it was a fair question to ask because we were about to view an exhibit in an art museum.

"I don't think my words will give you a good enough answer. Hopefully you'll figure it out for yourself after we've had a look around at the all the exhibits including Freddie's. Shall we?" Brian guided me.

There had to be hundreds of paintings stacked on the walls. "Wow!" I gaped. "Did Freddie paint all of these?"

"No, no. Freddie's exhibit is much smaller and it's somewhere upstairs. We'll need to get a map. From the looks of it, here in the lobby they have replicas of famous paintings. I'm sure you've heard of some of them even if you don't recognize them. They're very famous. Most of the originals are in museums like the Louvre and the Museum of Modern Art."

A lot of them were abstract, just a blur of colors and symbols. I wasn't sure what I was looking at. Was that point? To not know? Or maybe I was just unfamiliar with what the painting was trying to depict. Finally I spotted one that looked like something concrete I could make out. A strange creepy skeletal man with a shocked expression almost like the emoji. It was jarring, but neat. "I like this one!" I declared.

"Ahh, why am I not surprised? This one's called The Scream." Brian laughed.

"Ohh take a picture of me by it making that same face...and holding up the emoji on my phone! Brilliant!" I proclaimed giggling at my fun idea. I pulled up the emoji on my phone and posed with it and the painting behind us. 😱

"Got it!" Brian grinned as he snapped the photo. "Very cute! Your modeling skills are stellar."

"That's cause I'm a natural beauty." I said vainly with a self aware smirk at how conceited I sounded. "We can't all be as lucky as me. A lot of people are as ugly as that lady." I pointed to another painting of a homely woman.

"Roger! That's the Mona Lisa!" Brian cried.

I did a double take. Of course I knew about the Mona Lisa. How could I not? It was the most famous painting in the world. Only before now it was nothing more than a name. I always imagined the bird in Leonardo Da Vinci's renowned painting was smoking hot with giant titties. Why else would it be so famous? Not, this flat expressionless bitch tinted in an ugly greenish brown shade. What the hell? "That can't be the Mona Lisa." I shook my head. "You're joking."

"It is, Roger. If we ever go to the Louvre we'll get to see the original." Brian said.

"I don't get the hype." I shrugged, but as I walked away her eyes seemed to follow me. "Oh shit! It's haunted isn't it? That's why it's so famous. I'm sorry I ever said anything negative about you, Mrs. Lisa. Please don't steal my soul! You're definitely not overrated. I take it all back."

"No, Roger, that's just the brilliance of Da Vinci's work. If you look at it from different angels, it changes. Sometimes you see her smirking depending on how you look at it." Brian explained, cocking his head to the side as he examined the painting. "Well I think it's creepy." I solidified my feelings on the piece.

I shuddered as the Mona Lisa's eyes continued to follow me. Moving on to another painting. "This one's weird. Are those clocks?" This one wasn't as scary as The Scream and not as disturbing as the Mona Lisa, but it was just bizarre. It featured several clocks that were bent and wiggly. They almost looked like they were melting.

"The Persistence of Memory." I read the name but it left me more puzzled than before. "Is this the kind of art that would make more sense if I was high?"

"Roger, I think you're searching for answers where there are none. These paintings can mean anything you want them to. They can mean nothing at all if that's what you see in them." Brian said.

"Do you have a favorite?" I asked.

"Mmm. That's tough. If I had to choose...." He scanned the walls. "Probably this one. You know how I feel about stars." Brian gestured to a painting of a small village and the blue night sky overlooking it. Some of the swirls caught me off guard, but it was easier than the other ones to determine what I was seeing. Sure enough the title told me exactly what it was: The Starry Night. 

"I think I like that one too, Brimi. It's pretty." I admired. "But my favorite is still The Scream. Nothing tops that one. It's pretty epic."

"I thought so." Brian nodded. "Hey, you see that one over there?" He gestured to a colorful painting of people congregating amongst flowers in what seemed to be an enchanted forest. "That one's called the Fairy Feller's Master Stroke, and I believe it's Freddie''s favorite painting. He's always had a fascination for it and it's one of his biggest inspirations as an artist."

"Wow! There's a lot going on in this one." I said trying to take in all the little details. Freddie sure had a fine eye. It made sense that one of his favorites was creative like him.

"Speaking of Freddie, he's probably wondering where we are. We should head up to his exhibit." Brian said.

***

"Hey, hey! Welcome, darlings! Here, have some champaign!" Freddie untangled himself from Jim's embrace and waltzed over to the entrance of the exhibit to greet us. I knew it was the grand opening and there was an auction going on, but I wasn't expecting the crowd and grandioseness of the event. There was champaign and caterers walking around as people with posh accents like Freddie's all marveled over the subtlety of the works and placing bids.

Deaky was in the corner with Ronnie who needed to sit down because of her growing belly. He waved to us. Perhaps now was a good time to ask John to be the best man at my wedding. We finally had a date after all. I also wanted to beat Brian to it, although there was a fair shot he'd choose Freddie ."I'm gonna go say hi to Deaks and Ronnie." I said making my way over there.

The bench where they were sitting was positioned in front of an adorable painting of a basket filled with kittens. "Aw, that's cute." I cooed. "Freddie sure loves his cats!"

"He's such a talented artists." Ronnie admired.

"This must be fun for you, Roggie." John remarked. "You've never seen much art before, have you?"

"Art is...weird." Yeah, that was the only way I could sum it up. To me, a lot of the paintings didn't make much sense.

"I think that's the point. It's supposed to be weird. Anything that gets some sort of emotion or reaction is successful art. At least in my opinion. I'm not artist. You'd have to ask Freddie to get a better understanding. He really knows what he's doing when it comes to art." Deaky said.

"I'll talk to him about it later. Right now I wanna speak to you, John." I said.

"Me? Why me? Freddie's the man of the hour." He said humbly.

"Well there's something I wanna ask. Bri and I finally set our wedding date. It's gonna be July 1st. I was wondering if you'd like to be my best man. You know since I was the best man at your wedding." I offered.

"Oh Roger, I'd love to! Congratulations!" Deaky squealed and gave me a hug.

"If my ankles weren't so swollen, I'd stand up to hug you too, Rog." Ronnie exclaimed. "That's great news. I'm so excited for you and Brian. We've all been waiting for you to make more definite wedding plans. Maybe baby Robert can even attend. He might be big enough by then."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, love." John said, putting his hands on his wife's pregnant tummy. "But yes, it would be an honor to be your best man, Roger. Thank you so much. That means a lot."

"Excuse me." A man walked by us and placed a tag next to Freddie's kitten painting. It read: _Sold $5000._

"Wow! That's a lot of money!" I gasped.

"How else do you think Fred affords Garden Lodge and living like a queen?" Deaky laughed. "He makes more money from these exhibits and auctions than he does with the royal ballet. I help manage his finances so I would know."

Suddenly Freddie clicked on his glass of champagne. "Can I have everyone's attention, my darlings?" There was no way anyone would hear him over the crowd as the mingled and examined the paintings. There were too many people to command attention.

"AY-OH!"

I stand corrected. The room immediately quieted down as Freddie's powerful vocals erupted over all the distractions.

"Thank you, darlings! This will only take a moment of your time. I'd like everyone to know that my brother Brian May is marrying my best friend Roger Taylor on July 1st and I'm going to be Brian's best man. Isn't that exciting? Okay, lovies, that's all I had to say. Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters."

So I was right about Brian. He chose Freddie as his best man. This worked perfectly and no feelings would be hurt. We were on our way to achieving the most perfect day this summer and I could hardly contain myself.

I walked around some more taking in Freddie's artwork. Sometimes God accidentally gives people too much talent. Freddie was one of those people. His paintings were so vivid and lifelike. I found myself staring at the image of Deaky sleeping half expecting to hear him snoring.

A man next to me was also blown away by Freddie's creation. "Oh the artistry!" He proclaimed with a snobbish Posh tone. "I wonder where Mr. Mercury finds his inspiration for such brilliant pieces. It's symbolic of the redemption of the waking spirit of the sins of our ancestors."

"Um...I kinda just discovered art today so I might be wrong, but hear me out. It could just be a painting of my friend John taking a nap." I ventured. Not to say it wasn't a beautiful painting or anything like that, but he was likely overthinking it.

"Exactly. It can be a common friend with a name as cliche as John dreaming of a tomorrow where there is no pollution on this earth and mankind can roam free with the animals. It's so poetic. I'll pay 39 thousand dollars for your Sleeping Deaky, Mr Mercury!" The man declared placing a sticker marked with the price beneath the painting's label.

"That's not a cliche. His actual name is John and he's standing right over there!" I pointed to where John was. Although now he wasn't standing as he was seated with Veronica's feet elevated on his lap. 

Before the art connoisseur could reply, Freddie literally jumped up to us and hugged me from behind. "Roger, my dear, I have a special surprise for you that I think you'll absolutely love. What do you think of everything? Are you enjoying yourself?" 

"This bloke wants to spend 39 thousand dollars for your painting of Deaky." I said noting the price tag added to the label. 

"Ahh, yes the Sleeping Deaky." Freddie looked to the painting and gave it a reminiscent smile. "I always told my baby creampuff that he's a work of art, and now it's come to fruition. I'm afraid I can't take full credit for this one, my dear. The true inspiration is over there. This painting would not be possible without that angelic babe known as John Richard Deacon born on August 19th 1993."

"Oh, you are just so full of metaphors. I'd love to see how your brain works. It's so true. Honestly I see a John Richard Deacon in every smiling baby and warm summer's breeze." The man stated poetically. 

"Oh no!" Freddie gasped. "Did Joe mess up the catering for this and accidentally feed everyone the pot brownies meant for next week's party?" 

"The mind of an artist does not need drugs to evoke the spirit." The man replied. "Let me know if anyone else bids on this one. Tremendous work, Mr. Mercury." He left to go look at more of his paintings. 

"I've got to tell you something my dear. I love everybody and I embrace the absurdity of humanity. But sometimes art brings about some true whackadoodles." Freddie laughed. "And that's coming from me, the most outrageous misfit of them all!" 

"He might've been high, Fred." I acknowledged. 

"Anyway, I hope this trip into the wild world of art has been enlightening for you. According to Brian this is your first time seeing a lot of these famous paintings and art in general. What's it like to look at these things with fresh eyes?" Freddie wondered. 

"I'm not sure I understand it." I admitted. "All I saw was a picture of sleeping Deaky but then that guy made it about ancestry and the human condition or some bullshit and I just don't get it. I never thought art would be so complicated with melting clocks and ugly ladies with creepy eyes that follow you wherever you go. What does it all mean?" 

"It means whatever you want it to mean. If you see it, darling, then it's there." Freddie proclaimed. "Now come, I've got to show you something very special."

He walked me to another painting that Brian was ogling. I soon understood why. It depicted the two of us standing by a pew in a chapel. My blue eyes were flooding with tears, but my pink lips were curved in a wide smile. Brian was looking down at me, also smiling. Freddie was able to capture the look of love in his hazel eyes perfectly. One of the very first things I ever saw...

"Thoughts?" Freddie asked clapping his hands together eagerly.

"How much?" Brian asked. 

"Don't be ridiculous, dear. It's for display only, not for sale." Freddie noted the label explaining that alongside the fitting title: Love at First Sight. "When this exhibit is through, I'll be donating this to a certain special couple. I'll even help them frame it on their wall. No charge." 

I frowned. Who would he be giving it to? John and Veronica? Himself and Jim? "It belongs to me and Bri." I said firmly. "I want it framed in our living room where everyone can see it when we first enter our flat." 

"I was thinking the same thing." Brian said. "We need that small reminder of our love every time we go home."

"Yeah. So you can tell that other couple to fuck off. 'Cause that painting is ours." I declared. 

"What other couple?" Freddie laughed. "I wouldn't dream of gifting it to anybody else, dear. It's rightfully yours." 

"Damn right it is!" I exclaimed. I never realized a painting could be so personal. It was like stepping into a memory that was now forever recorded. Since I saw it in front of me now, I knew it would always be there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. I'm going to take this time to thank my readers once again because I don't feel like I do that enough. So thank you guys. You know who you are. I love you! I keep writing these crazy stories and you keep coming back for more and it just amazes me how kind you all are. It means a lot.♥️♥️♥️
> 
> Also check out my new story The Seven Seas of Rhye if you'd like. Thanks. 💞


	30. This is a Tricky Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family of raccoons show up in our love brids’ attic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured why not make a chapter out of it? So here's a chapter about raccoons invading the attic. This may or may not be inspired by a true story that happened to my family a few years ago when some raccoons punched a hole in our roof and chilled in our attic. So it's basically more of your typical wacky Beth lighthearted fluff. Enjoy!

  
Roger's POV

"So, July, huh?" Uncle Clem asked. I nodded as I counted the hairs in his nostrils, snickering to myself about how he still couldn't figure out how to use his Skype camera without me looking up his nose. "Yeah, I'll book a flight to London for that date ASAP. I don't wanna miss your big day, Rog. Is Winnie giving you away?"

"Oh um I don't know. I haven't asked her yet." I didn't think about that detail. We were still working out things like the venue and food. "Usually the father of the bride or groom gives their kid away, but Michael's thankfully gonna be in jail still. I could ask Mom unless you wanna do it?" 

"Would you be okay with that?" Uncle Clem asked hesitantly. 

"Of course." I assured him. "I would love that." I didn't want to offend Uncle Clem but the truth was I didn't give a shit about who gave me away. What mattered to me was the man I was meeting at the altar. So long as it wasn't Michael giving me away, I hardly cared. The important thing was getting down the aisle and seeing Brian there waiting for me.

"That's wonderful, Roger. Thank you so much! I can't wait to--" There was a strange zapping sound and suddenly the screen went dark. Only that was hardly what made me scream; it was all the rest of the lights suddenly turning off. 

Of course I panicked just like I always did when rooms went dark without explanation (okay someone turning off the light was the usual explanation, but it was still startling if they did it without warning). In the back of my mind I knew there was some logical reason why I couldn't see anymore and I would look foolish when the lights returned, but that didn't stop the sickening feeling of dread wash over me. I feared the worst. Losing everything I had was a possibility that lingered in my nightmares. Returning to that world of darkness could happen to me so suddenly that I might as well have dreamt up these past few months with vision. Or there was the scariest speculation of all... Something had happened to Brian. My eyes were dependent on him. More than that he was the love of my life, my reason for rising in the morning.

"BRIMI!" I screamed, desperately. "BRI PLEASE! HELP ME!" 

"Rog! Rog! It's okay! Are you there? It's okay, honey. You're alright. A transformer probably blew out." Hearing his voice was so reassuring. I immediately calmed. Then I felt his arms around me. "You're okay. You're okay. Shh. Shh. I'm here. I've got you." I knew everything would be fine because Brian was here. 

"W-What happened?" I choked, wiping my tears. 

"Just a power outage. I'll go get our flashlights. Would you feel more comfortable if we went together?" Brian offered. 

"Yes." I sniffled. "S-Sorry for freaking out like that. It's no big deal really." 

"Oh no, sweetheart. Don't worry about it. I just want to know that you're safe." Brian squeezed my hand as we made our way through the darkness. It became more relieving when my eyes began to adjust and I realized I could still see perfectly fine. The main thing I felt though was lucky. "Thanks, Bri." I cooed softly as he handed me one of the flashlights. I wasn't just thanking him for that simple action, but I didn't say anymore. "...And then there was light!" Brian clicked on his flashlight and I did the same with mine, lighting up the room. "Is that better?" Brian asked. 

"Much better." I agreed, shining the light in his eyes making him wince. Oh right. I forgot that it hurt to look directly at bright light like that. "Sorry! I just wanted to see your eyes." 

"They're still here, Roggie. And so are yours." He bent down and pecked my lips. "Now I'm going to call the power company and see if there's any reports on a transformer that went down. They'll probably give us an estimate for when we'll get he power back. Hopefully we'll get it back by the end of the night if not sooner. I am not looking forward to sleeping without heat." 

The lights were the first thing that came to mind with the idea of a power outage, but heating was just as important. I didn't want to freeze to death. Although why not take advantage? I was still a bit shaken up and could use some more comforting from my favorite big spoon. "Blankets and cuddles?" I asked. 

"Sounds like a plan, love. Let me just call first and then we can go to bed early." Brian gave me another tender kiss before going to get his phone to make the call. 

As Brian was on the phone, I heard another strange sound. It was coming from above us, a stomping clamor almost like someone was playing bowling upstairs. What could that be? I was usually pretty good at recognizing sounds. Was I losing my skill now that I relied on my ears a lot less? 

"Huh. That's odd. They said there wasn't anything reported and all the transformers in our area are working fine. We'll have to get an electrician or ask Deaky to come over and check it out for us. I don't want to bother him this late at night when Ronnie can go into labour at any moment." Brian sighed. 

"So blankets and cuddles?" I asked again eagerly. 

"Blankets and cuddles it is then." Brian agreed. 

***

I woke up with a shiver to that same stomping noise coming from above us. Brian's teeth chattered in his sleep as I held him close. "Rog...No...drumming this late at night." He slurred, still half asleep. 

"That's not me, Bri. I don't know what it is and I'm c-c-cold." I snuggled as close to him as I could for warmth. Losing power in early February was far from ideal. Why did it have to be the most bitter cold month of the year? Why couldn't we lose power in the summer time? "Briiiii it's coooolllld. Do something!" I begged. 

"What the hell do you want me to do?" Brian now sounded more awake. He was pulling me tight against his body trying to use me as a heating device, and I did not complain. It looked like there was nothing we could and we just had to suffer through the freezing night together. 

"I wish it was summertime." I sighed. 

"I bet if it were summer right now you'd be complaining that it's too bloody hot." Brian laughed. 

He was probably right about that. Getting comfortable was hard. "If it were July right now, we'd be married." I said. "And it wouldn't be so cold." Brian added. 

"Now it sucks. We're not married and it's cold. And there's that weird knocking sound in the roof so I can't sleep." I ranted. 

"Yeah I'm not sure what that is. We should go check the attic. That's where the noise is coming from." Brian suggested. 

"But the attic is probably even colder." I pointed out. 

"Moving will get our blood flowing, warm us up a bit. C'mon. Get up." I pouted when I felt Brian pull away from me and get out of bed. "Noo!" I forced myself to follow him, practically leaping up into his arms for warmth. I tugged at his long pajama shirt, hoping he'd get the message. "You're a spoiled brat, you know that?" Brian said at last giving in and picking me up so I didn't have to walk and could stay warm in his embrace. 

"I'm your spoiled brat, bitch." I purred, resting my head on his shoulder and hiding his curls. "You're damn right you're mine." Brian declared, patting my back. 

He shifted my weight as he juggled holding me and trying to pull down the ladder leading to the attic. "We did it!" I applauded when he finally succeeded. "Sure." Brian acknowledged sarcastically. "Rog, I really can't climb up the ladder while I'm holding you. I'm gonna have to put you down." 

"You don't even need the ladder. You're tall enough to get up there on your own." I said. Brian decided he had enough of my sass and dropped me. He did it gently, but still it hurt a bit. "Oops." He laughed.

I stood up and flipped him off. Brian didn't seem to care that I was mad at him now. "You coming, Roger?" He called, already halfway up the ladder. That thumping sound got louder. Oh no! What if it was something dangerous? "Careful, Bri!" I ascended the ladder, pointing the flashlight to offer some much needed light. What would Brian ever do without me?

I shined the light directly into the attic. A terrifying sight greeted me. Several furry creatures who looked like Brian's badgers, but they were wearing dark masks like Halloween and their eyes flashed red. I screamed and dropped the flashlight. I nearly fell off the ladder, but Brian caught me. 

"Vampire badgers!" I shrieked. 

"No, Roger, those aren't vampire badgers." Brian laughed. 

"B-But they're really scary and their eyes are red. What else could they be?" I cried. 

"It's a family of raccoons, silly. Their eyes turn red when you flash light at them. And they aren't scary. In fact, I think they're adorable." Brian cooed. He retrieved the flashlight and turned it back on so we could see the raccoons again. Now that I got a better look at them, I noticed a darkish grey and black pattern on their fur in addition to their black faces that looked like masks. They were kind of cute, especially the smallest raccoon, a baby, toward the back of the congregation in the attic. What a smol bean! He was my favorite. 

"Ahh, I found the problem." Brian gestured to a wiring that one of the raccoons had gnawed through. I noticed that the baby I loved so much was also nibbling at a power chord. "Hey! Stop that!" I shouted. The baby raccoon looked up at me for a moment only to disregard me and go back to eating the wire. "Sneaky little bastard." I hissed. 

"Well I don't mind having them here, but I don't think it's safe for them to be chewing on wires. They could get electrocuted. They'd be much happier and healthier out in the wild or at a reserve." Brian remarked. "So there's only one thing to do." 

"Make them pay rent!" I exclaimed. 

"What? No! We have to call an animal friendly wildlife control to get them back out safely into the wild where they belong. We could do it ourselves, but they could have rabies and we might accidentally scare them and make them act aggressive toward us."

I vaguely heard what Brian said because I was too busy looking at the group of raccoons. "Hehe, look at the one, Bri. It's fat." It was wrong to fat shame, but there was something so funny about an oversized raccoon. 

"Oh my goodness! I might be wrong, but I think she's pregnant. How precious!" Brian squealed. "I wish they could stay with us, but it's better for them outdoors. I'll see if some of my friends from Team Badger can help us get them out safely."

***

"Cages?" Brian paled looking down at the barred contraptions that would entrap the raccoons. "I did not have this in mind. Please. We can't hurt them. There must be another way." 

"Unless you two wanna get a rabies shot, this is the only way. I promise they'll only be caged until we drop them off into the wild where they can live free. This is the most humane way to do it."

"If you really think it's the only way." Brian said hesitantly. I could tell he wasn't going to like this. I hated to see Brian so upset, but I wasn't sure if there was another solution. If we did it without cages, then we could get bit, and rabies was not my cup of tea. Letting the raccoons stay in the attic wasn't an option either. They already caused a power outage. It was only a matter of time until they exploded themselves by biting into the wire too hard. 

I loved seeing new things, so I was eager to watch the wildlife control guy arrange the cages around the flat. Brian wanted nothing to do with it on the other hand and kept himself in the other room claiming he had some work to do. Black holes or some supernova thing.

"So I'm gonna put these little marshmallows into the cages to lure them in. Then I'll come back and pick up the cages to safely deliver the critters back into the wild." He explained.

"Raccoons like marshmallows?" I gasped taking a few white fluffs for myself.

"They'll eat just about anything. But they certainly have a sweet tooth, and it seems like you have one too." The man chuckled. "Alright I'll be back tomorrow. Raccoons can get aggressive and tend to bite, but if you let them be, they shouldn't cause you any harm. They'll just take the marshmallow and go inside the cage. I'll take care of the rest. Call me if you need anything."

"Thank you." I showed the man out.

Now all I had to do was wait for the raccoons to come and claim their treats. Like Brian, I felt bad about tricking them and tracking them, but we had to be practical. While caging the raccoons inconvenienced them in the short term, they would be far better off in the wild. Plus we could get a good night sleep without having to worry about the power going off or being kept awake by the pesky sound of them scampering above us. 

I waited patiently, not sure what to do with myself in the meantime. With Brian supposedly working I wanted to be respectful and give him the quiet he needed to focus. That meant no music or television. Damn! I couldn't remember the last time I felt this bored. How the hell did I ever stay preoccupied while blind? And when did the gift of sight stop spoiling me with nonstop entertainment? There was a time when I could just watch the afternoon shadows on the wall in awe, but now their pattern was familiar. Vision wasn't as spontaneous because I was accustomed to it now. So ennui was possible again.

"My God this is boring!" I yawned as I lay listlessly on the floor doing literally nothing.

I guess the cages were kind of fun to look at because they were something new. Curiously I crawled over to one, examining it more closely. A mini marshmallow was placed in the entrance below the door of the contraption. It would be interesting to see what it would look like when snapped shut. How would that work? Did taking the marshmallow trigger the reaction of the door? Hmm...

When the man put the marshmallow into place he had used a pair of tweezers to prevent it from shutting on his hand. So we really didn't know if it worked properly. I tested it out by reaching in to take the treat. I figured I could just retract my hand quick enough to get it out in time like a fast drum beat. 

I was wrong. The little metal door clamped down painfully on my forearm in a split second. Fuck! It hurt so bad that I could barely scream. I clumsily tried to unlatch it with my other hand, successfully lifting the cage door allowing it to click back into place. 

Unfortunately my injured arm was left limp and I was unable to move it. So I awkwardly tried to maneuver it with my other arm, somehow accidentally wiggling my upper body into the cage. Oh shit! No! I tried to kick away with closing cage door that I accidentally activated again. In an unexplainable chain of events, I suddenly found myself twisted like a pretzel stuck inside this cramped space made for a raccoon. How the hell did I let this happen? It was too late to reason with myself. I only had myself to blame for this tricky situation.

To make matters worse, that baby raccoon appeared on the other side of the metal bars as if to taunt me. He picked up the marshmallow I had dropped and scampered away. 

Fuck! I didn't know what to do. I was trapped in a small cage without my phone to call for help, and I lost my senses in one of my arms. This position was uncomfortable, but it wouldn't sting as much as the embarrassment of being found in this position. My eyes worked so I had no excuse on how I would up in a predicament like this besides my own stupidity. I wanted to cry. But instead I faced the music. "BRIAN! HELP ME!"

"Roger?" He came running. "Roger, what's the matter? Are you—" Brian gasped when he saw me, his eyes widened. "What the hell did you do?" I could tell he was holding back laughter and eventually he gave in to a fit of chuckles. I felt utterly ridiculous. "Please don't laugh at me!" I whimpered.

"Oh come on! You've got to admit this is funny!" Brian grinned. "Here, let me help you out of this mess." He unlatched the cage and successfully pulled me out in one piece. I was comforted by a warm hug. "There you are, baby. Safe and sound. Are you hurt?"

"My arm's numb. Can't feel it or move it." I told him and then Brian's amused face fell to serious concern.

***

"So I hope that spending the next 3 weeks in a cast and drumming with only one hand will let you learn your lesson. What the hell were you thinking, messing around with that cage, Roger?" Brian was disappointed in me and that hurt more than the broken arm.

"I'm sorry." I sighed as I tried to itch the space between my cast.

"Okay. Just remember not to be so reckless next time, love. When you do stupid things and get hurt, you put me in pain as well because I can't bare to see you suffer." Brian gave me a reassuring kiss before signing my cast.

I love you even when you do stupid things. -Bri

"You're never going to let me live this down are you?" I realized.

Brian shook his head. "I will hold this embarrassing injury over you until something just as ridiculous happens to me which isn't likely seeing as I take better care of myself."

I rolled my eyes. "One day I'll be able to mock you. Remember the other day when we were gardening with Jim and he said you were digging so enthusiastically you'd hurt yourself."

"How is a gardening injury as embarrassing as getting locked in a raccoon cage?" Brian retorted.

"What if you broke your ass while gardening?" I snickered.

"That wouldn't be funny at all." He frowned.

"Neither is this!" I cried.

"It's funny, Rog. Whether you like it or not, it is." Brian laughed. Then his look softened when he realized what this was doing to my self esteem. "But you know I have a soft spot for cute little critters, so I'll always take care of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a mess! I'm sorry. Lol. It was fun though!


	31. I'm Old but Still a Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian helps Roger get through a tough time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me this chapter's gonna be angsty and very depressing! Not gonna lie, I bawled really hard writing this. But I promise an uplifting and literally fluffy ending.

Another cold wet day in London. No surprises. Clare's morning class was cancelled today, so she offered to meet me for brunch as the two of us hadn't had much bonding time lately. Of course I agreed. I didn't have any photoshoots scheduled until next week, so my schedule was wide open. Brian of course had to be up and out by the crack of dawn to get to the wild life reserve to help the badgers and be back home in time to work on his book about black holes or something space related. I worried about him. He was working way too hard lately. I barely saw him anymore because he was always so busy. I knew as soon as he was done with this deadline for the book, things would get better. And I was so proud of how brilliant and hardworking my boyfriend was. 

I got up at a more reasonable hour and took my time slowly getting ready. Ringo just stayed in his doggy bed, showing no interest in going out for a walk or doing much of anything, so I was in no rush. With my left arm in a cast, I was forced to move a bit slower when it came to my daily routine. I thought it would be annoying, but it wasn't. It was nice to do things at a slower pace for once. I was usually very quick especially since getting my sight back. I wanted to see the most amount of things in the shortest amount of time. Now I could just take a moment to appreciate how I was able to get around without any help and it was refreshing to realize how far I had come. Even something as simple as tying my shoes was a reason to be proud of myself. I learned how to do it blindly, but I still could never get it right on the first try and would end up with tangled knots instead of the proper bunny ears. Now that wasn't an issue. I could do it all one-handed! I remembered the summer I had broken my arm just like this, and I was basically immobile relying on Mom for everything more so than ever before. Independence then had seemed like an unachievable dream. 

A heart shaped note was left by the door._ 'Have a great day! I'll be thinking of you. -Bri' _"Aww." I cooed, taking the note. Then I found another message scribbled on the other side. _'PS: Please be careful outside in the rain today! Bring your umbrella when you go out. If you slip and break your OTHER arm, I don't know what I'm going to do with you. -Bri'_

"Okay, Mom." I mocked, putting the note back down. I was glad Brian was concerned though and hadn't forgotten about me because of his heavy workload. On the other hand, I was secretly happy that he was being slightly less protective of me because it was forcing me out of my comfort zone. I didn't need to be under his watchful eye 24/7. I was a capable adult, and it felt good to be trusted and feel confident for once. Even if Brian's absence led to a broken bone here or there, how else would I learn, right? 

The doctor said I could still drive despite being in a cast, and I was so thrilled with that news. I couldn't imagine not being able to drive for the next few weeks. That would have been a nightmare. I was so eager to get behind the wheel that I didn't realize until I was halfway to the diner to meet Clare that I had forgotten my umbrella. Damn it! Oh well. I would just have to get wet. It was the same as showering. No big deal. I pulled into the parking lot and waited a few seconds hoping the rain would die down. I also really enjoyed watching my windshield wipers slide back and forth swishing away the collection of raindrops on the dashboard. Certain things were just so mesmerizing to me, and nine times out of ten the sights that excited me the most pertained to cars. Finally, I turned off the engine and stepped outside. 

I laughed to myself as I splashed in the puddles of flooding rainwater. A handful of those passing by shot me a funny look as they rushed to take cover. I always used to love the splishing sound I would make when playing in puddles as a child. Now the nostalgic memory was brought to life when I saw the little droplets splatter as I jumped in the small stream. I was getting soaking wet and probably looked like a foolish drug addict, but I couldn't help myself. I laughed to myself, as I literally sang in the rain, playing like a little kid. This was the childhood I always envisioned. One where I could see and properly interact with the world. Who cares if I was getting it about 20 years too late? It was worth it now. I couldn't believe I was living the life I had always yearned for. 

By the time I made it into the diner, I was drenched from head to toe, but my cheeks hurt from how wide I was smiling. The hostess frowned when she saw me, likely mistaking me for an attractive hobo. "Do you need help, ma'am? I saw you out there for the last 39 minutes screaming in the pouring rain. I was considering calling the cops." 

"Roggie!" Clare jumped up from a booth, intercepting the woman. She linked our arms and began to lead me to the booth as if I couldn't see the way. "Come this way. I was waiting for you. Are you okay? What happened?" 

"Never better." I said sincerely. I gentle swatted her hand away and slid into the booth myself without her help. 

"Well that's good." Clare didn't seem to be convinced that I was alright. "You know maybe I should have picked you up and brought you here. Now you're soaking wet."

I shrugged. "I'll dry. It's not the end of the world." 

"What happened to you out there?" She pushed. 

"Nothing happened. I'm just really happy and felt like playing in the rain that's all. Is there anything wrong with that?" I said defensively. 

"Um..." Clare looked gratefully to the waitress who poured us some hot coffee. I collected the sugars set up on the table, giving myself exactly 1 and 3/7th. Perfect! 

"It's just kinda strange." Clare said eventually. "I mean you're a grown man. You shouldn't be out there behaving like a small child. People are going to think things." She shrunk into the booth self consciously, and I noticed that several of the people at the tables were staring at us like we were pariahs. Fuck them! They should just mind their own business. "Let them think whatever they want. It doesn't matter to me. If they have a problem with me they'd say it to my face."

"I don't know Rog. You've just been acting so...so...different lately. You're not as guarded as you used to be, and I'm scared you might get hurt. I mean look you've already broken your arm. You need to be more careful. You know Mom and I were talking and we think that it might be a good idea...if Brian's okay with it of course...if you um...Well...you should consider..."

"Spit it out, Clare!" I rarely got irritated with her, but there was something about her demeanor today that threw me off. 

"Mom's concerned about you, Roger. She thinks you should hire someone to look after you." She blurted. 

I should have known. I felt so betrayed. How could my own sister think so low of me? That I needed some fucking babysitter. "So Mom put you up to this, huh?" I snapped. 

Clare lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry. She said you wouldn't have listened to her otherwise. She's just worried. Ever since you got rid of her guardianship, she's been scared that something might happen."

"When did you become her little minion?" I cried. "Seriously, Clare. I'm fine. Do you have any idea how bloody insulting it is to insinuate that I can't take care of myself? I'm getting married for Christ sake! Brian and I might raise a family some day! I just want a normal life and I thought you'd respect that."

"I do respect that, Roger. Really, I do. But Mom thinks--"

"--I don't care what she thinks!" I shouted. "What is wrong with you, Clare? Can't you see that I'm happier than I've ever been? Or at least I was happy until you brought all this up. I can do anything any other able-bodied person can do. I refuse to have you hire some nurse to wipe my ass for me like I'm an invalid." 

"It's not like that, Roger. You know it's not like that. We just want you to be safe." She sniffled. "Brian can't watch you all the time, and things could be a lot worse than just a broken arm." 

"He's my husband, not my babysitter. Tell Mom she can piss off." I said spitefully. I didn't have to stand for this shit. I wouldn't sit around and let Clare patronize me. So I rose from the booth and stormed out. My joyful mood from earlier seemed like a lifetime away. 

***

_"Yesterday_

_All my troubles seemed so far away  
Now it looks as though they're here to stay  
Oh, I believe in yesterday_ _Suddenly  
I'm not half the man I used to be  
There's a shadow hanging over me  
Oh, yesterday came suddenly..."_

I turned off the radio when I heard the front door open. "Bri, is that you?" I called, too lazy to get up from the bed. I got my answer when he came in, looming over me like an adorable curly tree. "What are you doing lying in bed, Roger? It's not even dark out yet." 

"Just tired." I sighed. "You should go back to writing about your black holes. Don't mind me. I promise I won't move from this spot. You don't have to worry." 

Brian slumped down on the bed next to me, scooping me up onto his lap for a cuddle. "Winifred called me again while I was in the middle of feeding a delightful baby badger." He said. 

"Oh God!" I hid my face behind my hands, feeling horrified. For all I knew, Brian secretly did consider me a ward in addition to a boyfriend. Our relationship blurred the line quite a bit. I certainly wouldn't blame him if he believed I would behave recklessly or injure myself if I wasn't constantly watched. 

"I think we need to talk, Roger." Oh fuck no! I dreaded those evil words. I shuddered, but eventually nodded, still not removing my hands from my face. Sometimes in these odd moments that darkness I feared was comforting because it was something familiar. Brian ran his fingers up and down my back in soothing circular motions and didn't comment about me hiding my face. 

"So your mother keeps giving me the impression that you're only with me because I'm like your caregiver, and she talks to me like I am responsible for you in that way. She even blamed me for your broken arm and gave me hell about it. Do you think I'm too overprotective of you? Do you need me to give you more space?" 

"W-What?" I peered out between my hands. "I-Is that why you've been so...busy lately?" 

"I have been busy with work, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to leave you to your own devices a bit so you don't feel so smothered. The more Winifred calls me to make sure I'm taking care of you properly, the more I think you deserve your freedom. You really don't feel that way about me, right?" Brian sounded so unsure of himself. "You don't just love me because I act like a mother hen? I don't want that to be the case. I want us to have a healthy relationship." 

"Clare said she wants us to hire someone to take care of me." I said flatly. "Apparently you've officially upgraded from caregiver to boyfriend. So whatever you're doing, mother dearest approves." 

"Clare was joking, right? Why would you need someone to take care of you when you're a grown adult? You have a well paying job and contribute to this flat just as much as I do. That's ridiculous!" Brian cried. 

Thank goodness Brian was on my side. "I know I thought so too." I said. "How often does my mother call you?" 

"At least once a week, but more frequently since you've broken your arm. At first I thought it was sweet that she was making sure you were alright. But now she's gone too far." Brian declared. "Don't let her get into your head, Roger. You don't need anyone taking care of you because there is nothing you can't do." 

"Thanks, Brimi. I think I need to hear that." I readjusted myself in his arms and leaned back to give him a kiss. "So are we still good?"

"We're always good." He replied, shifting his weight beneath me slightly. "So, it looks like it stopped raining. Would you like to go out for a walk?" 

"Sure." I agreed. "I'm not sure if Ringo will be up to it though. He's been pretty tuckered out lately and hasn't wanted to play or walk. In fact, I checked his food bowl earlier and it was still full. He hasn't eaten. I should really take him to the vet." 

"How old is he again?" Brian asked hesitantly. 

"Um...I think he's 14, not sure how old that is in dog years. I've had him since I was 12." I reminisced. 

I went to his doggy bed where he was still napping. I would have to wake him up eventually for a bath because he was starting to smell bad. "Hey, buddy!" I gently nudged his grey fur. Ringo didn't respond. "Ringo?" When tapping him and shaking him didn't work, I tried pulling on his ears and tail. Normally that would bother him and get some sort of a growl or even a snap, but Ringo just laid their limply. 

"Oh, Roggie," Brian crouched down next to me, "I don't know how to tell you this..."

"NO!" I wailed. "H-He's just napping. Soon he'll wake up. You'll see! Wake up, bud! C'mon Ringo! Get up! Please! Please!" I gave up trying to shake the lifeless dog awake and fell into a fit of sobs.

***

Freddie let us bury Ringo in Garden Lodge in a spot previously designated only for deceased cats. It was the highest honor a dog could receive. We even threw him a funeral. I was numb through the entire process, not ready to say goodbye. Freddie and Brian sang a song that was written for their childhood pet, Pixie. Even Deaky was crying by the end as we lowered the dog sized coffin into the ground. 

"Would you like to say some words, Roger?" Jim asked as he shoveled dirt over my lost dog. I shook my head, too caught up in my tears and sadness. "That's alright, darling." Freddie consoled me. 

"He was a good boy." Brian said with misty eyes. "Always so helpful and just wanted to please Roger and all of us." 

"I'm gonna miss him." I sobbed. "I'm gonna miss him so much." 

"We're all going to miss him." John said. 

"He was the first thing I ever saw." I recalled trying and failing to compose myself. "I knew it was him right away even though I had never seen anything like a dog before. I just knew from the touch of his fur and the way he licked me and how cute he looked."

"And that memory will always be there." Brian said with a sad smile. It wasn't very comforting, but I clung to that idea. "I'll always have our memories." I whispered. 

The group left me alone to mourn in peace. I laid myself down in the dirt on top of Ringo and cried. "You were always such a good boy." I heaved. "And I promise I'll never forget you, buddy."

***

I tried my best to move on, but it was very difficult. I found myself bursting into tears and breaking down at random moments. I was able to distract myself by going out and searching for the world's greatest Valentine's Day gift to get for Brian. Since our talk that night, we had been closer than ever before despite Brian's heavy work load and our insecurities. I still hadn't patched things up with Clare since walking out on her at the diner, but the days all seemed to blur together with everything that had happened with my poor Ringo. Thankfully, I was able to find a gift that would suffice my great love and admiration for Brian May, which was no easy feat. I was sure he'd be very surprised. 

Brian woke me up on Valentine's Day. "Roggie," He gently shook me awake. "Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart! I have a surprise for you!" 

"No," I groaned, pulling the sheets back up. "I have a better surprise for you! But I want more sleep!" 

"No, no, you have to get up now. I can't keep this surprise hidden for very long." He said. That intrigued me and I was coaxed by some gentle good morning kisses. So I got up and joined Brian downstairs awaiting my surprise. 

He presented me with a box only before I could open it, it began to quake. "Why is this box moving on its own? Is it haunted?" I asked. 

"Just open it, please." Brian urged. 

I lifted the lid from the box, not sure what to expect. A tiny golden retriever puppy was not on the list of things I imagined. The little fella caught me off guard, leaping up into my arms and licking me. I screamed but then that scream dissented into squeals over how cute this was. "You got me a puppy?" I cried, finally getting the eager dog to sit still in my lap so I could properly pet him. 

"I know no dog can replace Ringo, but you've just been so depressed lately and puppies cheer up everyone. Freddie suggested a kitten, but I know you're more of a dog person. I hope you're not mad that I acted too soon and didn't give you enough time to grieve." Brian said. 

"No, I think this is the perfect thing for me right." I couldn't help but laugh when the little yellow puppy once again leapt back and put his paws on my shoulders and licked my face. "Yes, yes, I know you're cute and you want to be loved, little one." I cooed. 

"He's similar to you. "Brian quipped. 

"Oh quiet, you!" I teased, grinning down at the new sweet puppy. How adorable was he! "I think I'm gonna call you Valentine!" I decided. 

"Perfect name." Brian agreed. 

"Well I happen to have to most perfect Valentine who got me the best Valentine's Day gift." I said as I pet the puppy. "Thank you, Bri. It feels good to laugh and smile again."

"You always look your best when you're happy, Rog. It suits you." He leaned down to kiss me only to get a tiny little whine from Valentine who wanted all of our attention. "We're gonna have fun with him." I giggled, lowering my face to let him pelt me with more loving licks. What a sweet dog! "Here, Bri, you have to bond with him too. Hold him while I get your gift." 

Truth be told I was a little bit nervous to unveil my present. There was no reason of course. I knew Brian would never reject what I got for him just like he would never reject me. Still, I felt slightly uneasy when I extended the facade box to Brian. Meanwhile Valentine swatting one of his paws through Brian's curls and made a loving whimpering sound. 

"Thank you, Roggie. Let's see what you got for me." Brian examined the box. I snickered as he tried to feign a happy face. It didn't last long. "Roger, I appreciate the sentiment, but milk chocolate candies aren't vegan." 

Yay! I successfully fooled the genius. Now he would never expect what I had up my sleeve. "Just open the box, Brian." I prompted with a cheeky grin. 

"Okay, but I'm not going to eat th--Oh my goodness!" Brian opened the box of chocolates only all of the slots where the treats would sit were empty with the exception of the center one. There was a sparkling ring with an assortment of jewels picked specifically to bring out the hazel in Brian's eyes. "Roger, what is this?" Brian gasped. "It's absolutely beautiful!"

"I wanted to get you a ring to show you that we're on the same page. I love the ring you got me, but I don't want to be the only one wearing it anymore. Now if people see that you have a ring too they'll know you're not single and we belong to each other." I explained. 

"I love it, Roger! Almost as much as I love you! I'm going to wear it every day just like you wear yours. Thank you, baby!" We kissed, ignoring Valentine's whines for attention. The puppy was going to have to learn to be patient. 

"I think I'm happy again." I announced, grasping the moment because it might not last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this one was rough. My dog is gonna be 11 years old this year. She got attacked a little while ago by 2 bigger dogs and just hasn't been the same, but I think she was declining before that. Over the past few months, her energy level has gone down, and she doesn't seem as invested in life the way she used to. She just naps and her fur is starting to grey and smell bad. We think she might be dying. That would be absolutely devastating. Like Roger in the story I've had her since I was 12. I think I wrote this to cope. 2020 really really sucks.


	32. The Loser in the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winifred has a mental breakdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was gonna work on Dragon Attack but I feel like I should give everyone another chapter of this to recover from last chapter. I'm sorry about that one. I was just in an angsty mood. Here's a bit of a resolution and some fluff.

  
"Hey Roggie, I'm so sorry to hear about Ringo. I know how much you loved him. I hope you had a good Valentine's Day with Bri. Listen we seriously need to talk about the other day. I know you're avoiding us and not answering our calls but please reach out. I just wanna know that you're okay." 

My finger hovered over the delete message button. "What do you think, Valentine? Should I forgive Clare for taking Mom's side? She doesn't sound too sorry to me." The dog put his face on my knee and panted. I reached down and threw the tennis ball across the room, nearly knocking Brian in the head as he worked on his book. “Oops! Sorry, love.”

"Life's too short to hold grudges. Honestly life's too short to worry about deadlines." Brian shut down the computer and walked over to me. "I think we should sit down with Clare and your mother and have a conversation. Try to sort things out. We'll try to understand where they're coming from. But we also need to get across that I'm your fiancé not your caregiver so Winifred should bud out of our relationship. And that you're an independent man now whether she likes it or not."

"That would be ideal." I agreed. "I don't know why Mom is going so crazy. Ever since I broke my arm it's like I'm suddenly..." Then I had a revelation. "Holy shit! I know why she's freaking out! Mom broke her arm about 10 years ago. She claimed she fell while jogging. We all knew Michael did it to her. W-What if she thinks you're abusing me? That would explain so much! She's scared that I'm in the same position she was in and she wants to rescue me."

"But we told her about the accident. She knows I would never ever in my wildest dreams lay a hand on you!" Brian insisted.

"I broke my arm getting stuck in a raccoon cage honestly doesn't sound like a real story." I laughed. "She might think I'm covering for you the same way she used to cover for Dad."

Now I was starting to understand. This "hiring a person to help take care of me" might have been code. "Oh my God! No! We need to talk to them. This is all a big misunderstanding." I called Clare back immediately. 

She answered on the first ring. "Oh Roger! Are you okay?" Clare sounded so scared for my wellbeing. Did they think Brian was like Michael? Why would they ever believe that? He was the polar opposite of that monster. I loved him wholeheartedly because he was so gentle, caring and patient with me. Nothing close to an abuser. "Clare, tell Mom that I'm coming over tomorrow. We all need to have a long chat about my relationship with my fiancé." 

"Oh um okay. A-Are you alone right now?" Clare whispered hesitantly. I looked to Brian who was right over my shoulder. "Yes." I lied. 

"I want you to know that I trust Bri and I know he'd never hurt you, but Mom's gonna try to convince you otherwise. William is recommending she seek medical help. She’s totally snapped. I think she has PTSD of what Dad did to her and she's convinced Brian is doing the same to you. I looked into the caregiver she was going to send to you. She's not a real caregiver. She's a private investigator who would look into Brian. I'm so sorry Roger. If I had known Mom was having a mental breakdown, I wouldn't have listened to her so adamantly to talk to you at the diner and call you out like that. That was wrong of me. I should have known better. The last thing I want is to do anything that might sabotage your relationship with Brian. Can you forgive me?"

"So all that talk of me being unable to take care of myself?" I ventured. 

"I'm sorry." Clare said again. "I just saw you out in the rain acting foolish , and I let Mom's words get into my head. Of course she was only using the caregiver thing as a ploy to investigate Brian. I overreacted and I’m sorry. I know you don’t need a caregiver now that you can see.”

I believed her. She sounded sorry. "It's alright, Clare. I forgive you. And I think I can forgive Mom in time. I just feel like we keep taking one step forward and slipping two steps back." 

"It's hard to change, Roggie. I know in my heart she's trying. You just have to be patient with her." She said. 

"I know." I sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

Clare giggled. "There was a time when you wouldn't have said that so casually." She reminded me. That made me smile. "I love you, baby sis."

"Love you too, Roggie. Can I still be your flower girl?"

"You're still too old but yes." I laughed. 

I hung up and turned to Brian. "I think all things considered I should talk to Mom alone tomorrow. It might make her more comfortable. I'm sorry, Bri. I just want to sort things out. I don't think Mom is dong well mentally. So it goes without saying that I don't believe anything she says when it comes to you. I love you so much."

"Of course, Roger." He agreed. "You just do what you need to get back on good terms with your family. I'm here if you do need me." 

"I really lucked out finding someone so understanding." I purred, planting a kiss on his soft lips. "You're the best, Brimi. You really are. You know that?"

"So you tell me." Brian replied. 

"It helps that you're so cute as well." I went on because why not flatter him some more? "You're like a sexy, cuddly tree."

"Um...thank you?" Brian flushed. "I've never heard anyone describe a tree like that." 

"You're the best tree ever!" I squealed giving him a hug. 

"Please stop calling me a tree, Rog." 

"Why not?" I pouted. "I love my tree. You're my big curly tree and I love you."

"I love you too, baby, but I'm not a tree." He patted my head lovingly.

"Yes you are a tree." I insisted. 

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

This went on for about 39 minutes. 

***

I decided that I needed a change. Especially if I was going to be returning back to my childhood home to meet with Mom and Clare. I wanted to show them that I wasn't that same helpless boy anymore. Over these past few months I had learned so much about myself and the world and what it meant to be in love and accepting yourself. 

So I mustered the strength to ask Jim for a haircut. Freddie said he was professional, so I trusted him. Still, I shut my eyes tight throughout the entire process, too afraid to watch as he snipped away. I always had mixed feelings about haircuts because I was never able to see the outcome. "I want to look like the Beatles" actually meant nothing to me until I was finally able to see what my teenage haircut really looked like years later. I just let my hair grow long when I left home, not caring too much about it. Now I was doing something drastic by cutting it short, and I was scared I was making the wrong choice. It was too late now though. 

"You're going to look great, darling!" Freddie encouraged. "You'll make Brian quiver!" 

"Guaranteed to blow his mind." Jim added in between the sound of snipping scissors. 

"Oh I bet that's not all he'll be blowing tonight!" Freddie chortled. 

"Just make me look decent." I said, trying my best to sit perfectly still so Jim wouldn't mess up. It was so easy to squirm. What the hell was I getting myself into?

"It's impossible for you not to look decent." Freddie said. "And Brian will love you no matter what, my dear." 

"And we are done!" Jim announced. 

I opened my eyes. The first thing I noticed were the golden locks all over the floor. Oh God no! What have I done? I probably looked horrible! Why would I ever agree to--The boy staring back at me in the mirror looked almost too good to be true. His short but not too short blonde hair fluffed out like a lion's mane making him appear incredibly fierce and sexy. “Holy shit! I look amazing!”

"Oh I knew you'd absolutely love it! Jim never disappoints!" Freddie applauded. 

"Thank you. I'm glad you're happy with the results." Jim said humbly. 

"It's perfect!" I squealed. "Thank you! Thank you!" As I got up, I noticed how much lighter I felt without being weighed down by my thick tresses. It was like I left behind a lifetime of woes with all that hair. 

"You're going to give people sheer heart attacks with that look!" Freddie winked. "You'd better be careful. You'll have people falling for you right and left. Make sure you keep that pretty ring on your finger, darling." 

I grinned back into the mirror cockily. Finally, I felt like a real model. I could see my face without the hair being a distraction. All my life I had been told I was attractive, but I never felt that I lived up to my supposed beauty. With the shorter hair I had less of a pretty look and more of a sharp look, and I think it showcased my personality better. After all I wanted to feel as strong and bold as I looked. 

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Freddie mocked. 

"It's me, bitches! Watch out!" I exclaimed grinning widely. 

"What have we done, Freddie?" Jim laughed, but there was a look in his eyes like he was genuinely scared about what he had unleashed onto the word. 

***

As soon as I entered the house, I could hear William reprimanding Mom. "..being ridiculous, Winnie! Brian's a big softie and as weak as a noodle. He'd never ever hurt Roger. Your boy isn't in any danger. This is the best way to lose Roger more than you already have and using Clare like a pawn only makes matters worse." 

Good, he was on our side. I agreed Brian was a softie, but he definitely wasn't weak as a noodle. 

"Hey I'm here!" I called as I entered the living room just so things weren't awkward. One of William's cats was the first to greet me, an orange tabby. He purred and stuck his tail in my face. "Hello J. Robert Oppenheimer II. I hope your tushy is feeling better." There didn't seem to be any rash, so I assumed the matter was taken care of. 

"Roger!" Clare gasped. "Look at you! Your hair. I barely even recognize you. You look great!" She gave me a hug and whispered in my ear again that she was sorry. 

"Baby?" Mom rushed over to me. She looked a mess. Her hair was tangled and matted showing signs of grey, and there were more bags under her eyes than normal. "There you are, my baby boy. Safe and sound!" She put her hands on my cheeks. "You even cut your hair like I've been telling you to do for ages. Everything's going to be alright, dear. Mama’s here now.”

"I know." I acknowledged. "I'm okay, Mom. You have to believe me. I came here to tell you that I'm happy."

"B-But your arm..." She looked down at the cast. "...He's not here anymore. You can tell me, sweetheart? Tell me the truth. I promise I'll make it all go away. But you have to tell me the truth. Did Brian do this to you?"

"Mom, you're going slightly mad." I said bluntly. "Brian isn't Michael. He would never ever hurt me. I love him and he treats me like a prince."

"Michael." Mom said his name darkly. "Roger, I want you to stay away from him, far away. Do you understand? Your father is a bad man and I want nothing to do with him anymore. So please stay away! Don’t seek him out.”

"Um yeah. He's in prison." I said, looking to Clare and William for help. Was Mom losing her mind? I was starting to get worried. 

"Winnie, why don't you go sit down in the other room and I'll warm up the tea you made earlier?" William walked her into the other room and sat her down on the couch. 

Clare beckoned for me to follow her into her room. I decided I’d be more comfortable if it was just the two of us. Mom didn’t seem entirely with it and that bothered me. 

"I have to show you something, Roger. I found this in Mom's room the other day." Clare handed me a rumbled envelope with a postmark from the prison where Michael was. I opened it and found a generic anniversary card. The corny Hallmark words were written inside, but below someone had handwritten a personal message.

Happy anniversary, babe! Don’t worry. I haven't forgotten about you and the kids. I'm hoping to get a wedding invitation soon. Maybe I can even get furloughed so I can attend. Since it's a gay wedding will I have a father-son dance with the groom? I hope Roger's gay husband treats him well and doesn't fail him like we did. That boy needs more discipline to stay in line and stop embarrassing us. If his gay husband is smart he’d spank that little bitch and spank him hard. A little bleeding won’t hurt. It’ll be good for him and help toughen him up. I'm stuck in here for the time being, so it's up to you to make sure the kids don't continue to be a laughing stock. I trust you’re keeping Clare locked up forever in her room because that little rat was the one who told on me. She should be in prison right now along with me. See you soon!  
Yours,  
Michael

"This is what made Mom lose her mind. Then she saw your broken arm, and started to assume things about Brian because of what Michael wrote." Clare explained. 

"Fuck Michael." I said tearing the card in half. "I hope he rots in that prison cell." 

I went back downstairs, hoping to be able to talk some sense back into my mother. "Roggie!" She grinned when she saw me. "Are you doing alright, sweetheart?" 

"Yeah Mom, I'm fine." I replied. "Here, look William even got you biscuits to go with the tea. Why don't you take one?"

"3:15, honey." Mom said as I reached to get her a biscuit. "I don't need the clock system anymore. I can see." I reminded her. "Here." I gave her the biscuit.

"Thank you. That's so thoughtful of you, honey." She smiled gratefully. "You're going to stay a while, right?"

"I'll stay a while." I agreed. "But then I have to go home. I love my home. I'm safe in my home. You need to understand that. I read the letter that Michael wrote to you and he's insane. Brian would never ever hurt me. You need to let me live my own life, and I promise I’ll still be your baby boy. If you don't realize that I'm finally free and living the life I've always wanted, then you'll always be the loser in the end. And I don't want that for you, Mom."

"I-I can do better." She stammered. "I can protect you."

"He doesn't need protecting." William spoke up. "Can't you see, Winnie? Your boy doesn't need you as much as you need him. Your relationship needs to change if you hope to keep him in your life."

I wasn't expecting Mom to break down and cry so easily. "Oh you're right! I'm not a good mother at all...And now it's too late to be a mother because my baby boy is all grown up. Oh Roggie, please don't continue the cycle. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Don't marry Michael."

"I'm not marrying Michael." I assured her. "I'm marrying Brian and he's nothing like Michael. I promise you. He's good. Now pull yourself together!”

"You promise?" She asked shakily. 

"I promise." I repeated. "In fact I pinky promise." I reached for her hand and linked our pinkies. "See, I can still be your baby while having my own life." 

Mom wiped her tears and smiled. "I'm sorry." She said again. "I'm not doing well in my head. You deserve better, Roggie."

"I forgive you." I said feeling like I had made a breakthrough. Mom wasn't as far gone as we thought. It was just a matter of reaching her and bringing her back. 

***

"Rog?" Brian turned away from his computer as I entered the room. "How'd it go with your M--Oh my God!" His jaw dropped when he saw my hair. "Y-You...You're an absolute angel, Roger! I can't believe you're real and I can't believe you're mine!" 

"I'm all yours!" I beamed. I did a little twirl to show off the back of my head. "Do you like it? I thought I could use a change."

"I never thought it was possible for you to be even more beautiful, but here you are." Brian exclaimed. He took me into his arms and smothered my face with kisses. “Do you know how much I love you? You’re a little beacon of joy that lights up my life.”

I got choked up by his sweet words. “I’m so lucky I have you, Bri. I’d still be in the dark without you.”

“Well you’re the absolute bravest person I know and you have the nerve to look so stunning while navigating through these rough times.” Brian declared. “So did your visit with Winifred go as well as your haircut?”

“We made some progress. William said he’s taking her to a psychiatrist tomorrow so that might help. I was able to get through to her at some points and I saw some glimmers of hope. The problem is Michael wrote this disgusting letter to her that read more like a threat. He put this asinine idea in her head that you’re hurting me when you’ve done nothing but love me and make me feel so special.” I explained. “Even from prison that bastard still manages to ruin everything.”

“I hope Winifred gets a grip on reality soon. In the meantime you’ve done all you can. I’m stressed with this book deadline and could use some relaxing. So let me take your mind off things.” Brian said.

The next thing I knew we were tangled in each other’s arms and all I could feel was pure bliss as we made love through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was kinda all over the place. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading and leaving comments!!!


	33. Bicycle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In helping Brian feel better, Roger further explores his inner child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't really been in the mood to write in light of everything that's been going on and all the evil in the world. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Here's a fluffy chapter. Stay safe out there and be kind to one another please💗

_Roger's POV_

Within a few weeks of going to therapy, Mom seemed back to her old self. She apologized to both me and Brian, to the point that she was almost groveling at Brian's feet to prove she knew he was nothing like Michael. I was certainly glad that she was back to normal, albeit slightly more hysterical than usual.

In the coming spring, the days were leading up to our wedding and the birth of baby Robert.My cast was at last removed and I could freely move my arm again. However, just because things were looking up for me didn't meanthat my carefree spirit was contagious.

Busy with his space dissertation and badger activism, Brian had fallen into one of his depressive episodes. Beyond his reclusiveness and cold quiet demeanor, the physical manifestations were taking their toll as well. He was slightly thinner and hadn't shaved in a while. I found the beard cute of course, but I didn't like it what it signified. A clean shaven Bri was a happy Bri. I was worried, but I knew this mood would pass in time. It had to I told myself. I just feared that my love might not be enough because my cuddles didn't seem to be working their usual magic.

I visited Garden Lodge to pick up flowers from Jim. That would be a nice surprise to cheer Brian up. Hopefully, Freddie and Jim could give me some advice on how to help Brian as well.

Freddie was having a conversation with two of his cats. "Tiffany, darling, you need to share the yarn with your sister. And Lily, dear, please try to get along. I know you girls aren't used to sharing a room but we need to make space for the nursery. If baby baby creampuff Robert is going to be visiting, he'll need a place to play and sleep."

"You're building a nursery?" I interrupted.

"No I'm not. Jim is." Freddie clarified. "And he's doing a magnificent job. Come take a look!"

Jim was busy at work standing on a ladder as he painted the ceiling to resemble a sunny blue sky with fluffy white clouds. The walls were painted with a green floral design making the whole room resemble a garden. I laughed when I noticed splotches of blue paint on Jim's mustache. How did that happen?

"Of course the design was my idea." Freddie pointed to the canvas with a painting the resembled a smaller version of the room design. "But Jim is doing all the hard work, aren't you, darling?"

"Aye." Jim remarked. He scratched his head getting yellow paint from his fingers into his hair. Ahh. Now it was making more sense.

There was a mini bed in the center of the room but it was surrounded by bars. It took me a moment to realize that this wasn't a strange version of the raccoon cage, but rather a crib for baby humans. I touched the bars and reached in to feel the firm mattress inside, remembering how I would sneak into Clare's room at night to "see" my new baby sister.

"Jim's nieces and nephews are too old for a lot of their books and toys from when they were babies so they donated them to us." Freddie gestured to the bookshelf and toy chest.

The plushies I understood, but what good would books do for a baby? "Robert won't learn how to read until he's at least 4 or 5 years old." I pointed out.

"Obviously, but we can read to him. Hasn't Brian told you about all those studies about how reading to babies makes them grow up to be geniuses or some shit?" Freddie explained. "Besides I'm sure he'll enjoy looking at the pictures and playing with the pop up books."

It was like he was speaking a foreign language. Books had an image on their cover, I knew that now. But other than that it was all words inside, Braille or otherwise. "Since when do books have pictures in them? And what the hell is a pop up book?"

Freddie went quiet for a moment. Jim climbed down from the ladder. "You've never seen a children's book have you?" He asked without any judgement. Freddie tried and failed to not look at me sympathetically. But that look of pity I had learned to loathe was washed away in an instant. "Another first for our Roggie!" He applauded eagerly. "This is going to be fun!"

"What's that one with the dogs?" Jim asked as he scanned the bookshelf.

"Here's The Cat in the Hat. It's better because it's about a cat." Freddie announced as he retrieved a book.

"Yeah Uncle Clem read that one to me a lot." I stared at the cover curiously. "That's a weird looking cat."

"He reminds me of Ray Foster for some reason." Freddie chuckled. "Looks nothing like a cat, but this book is still a million times better than Go Dog G—"

"—OH MY GOD THAT DOG IS DRIVING A CAR! BEST BOOK EVER!" I grabbed the book Jim was holding to get a better look. I flipped through Go Dog Go in amazement much like a small child. It was embarrassing but I never had the experience of looking at brightly colored illustrations depicting the story as I read. I never knew books came with pictures in them. "This is fucking awesome!"

"I knew you'd like this one." Jim grinned.

"What if I put a hat on Delilah? Then would you be satisfied?" Freddie sulked as he put The Cat in the Hat back on the bookshelf.

"Hehe. This poodle looks like Brimi." I pointed to the picture of the anthropomorphic poodle wearing a hat. Wait a minute. Shit! I had forgotten why I came here to begin with. These picture books were a delight, but I couldn't get distracted.

"Bri's been depressed lately." I said. "Jim, do you think some flowers will cheer him up?"

"Oh the poor dear. He does that from time to time. Gets all quiet and weepy. Not much you can do about it. Just be there for him." Freddie sighed. "The flowers are a nice gesture."

"I think blue poppies should do the trick." Jim decided. "I'll go outside and collect them for you."

"So there's really nothing I can do, huh?" I asked Freddie, who had likely seen Brian go through these episodes in the past.

"I know it might seem like nothing you're doing is getting through to him, but believe me, it is. He knows how much you love him, but right now his mind is preoccupied in a place that we can't reach. Problem with Brimi is that he's such a deep thinker that sometimes he gets stuck pondering all the downfalls of humanity that he alone can't fix. Give him time and space, and eventually he'll come back." Freddie advised. "How long has it been going on? A few days?"

"About a week." I murmured. "We were watching a nature documentary the other night and that seemed to make him feel better, but then they showed the poachers trying to hunt elephants in the savannah, and he went back to be all mopey and playing sad songs on his guitar."

"No, darling. Nature documentaries are never a good idea. No matter how much Brian begs you to watch them. He'll just get upset when they show the forest fires and the melting glaciers hurting all the animals. Then Deaky will get scared by the lion chasing the gazelle and those scary looking fish. Of course I have to be the one to take care of both of them. And Miami will insist that it's an educational show and makes Brian happy." Freddie ranted.

"Here you are, Roger. Blue poppies. When I'm feeling blue I take comfort in blue flowers, even when I couldn't see color, they still made me feel better. Hopefully the same can go for Brian." Jim presented the flowers.

"Darling, I know you're trying to be all sweet and poetic and it's adorable, but let's be honest. When you're feeling blue, you love to stare at my ass to cheer yourself up and it works like a charm every time." Freddie proclaimed and gave his tush a little wiggle. Jim turned bright pink. "It's not my fault you've got a magical bum." He remarked, playfully swatting at it.

Freddie laughed. "That's one thing that could help, Rog. Try giving Bri's flat ass a few compliments."

"Hey!" I cried. "I love that flat ass more than you can imagine. So be nice to it."

Although that wasn't such a bad idea. Being overly friendly and flirty to Brian could help get him out of his melancholy blues.

***

"Brian?" The flat was eerily quiet when I returned. When I left him, he was more sad songs on his playing guitar. Now I could no longer hear any music. "Are you still here or did you go out?"

Valentine eagerly ran up to me whimpering with excitement as he said hello by jumping up to lick me. The puppy peed on the floor by my feet and then ran away. "No Valentine!" I cried, but I knew I couldn't get too mad at him because he was still learning to do his business outside and not in the flat. I cleaned up the mess and then went to the bathroom to wash my hands.

Brian was situated at the other sink, shaving his face. Well that was a good sign! I met his eyes in the mirror and smiled warmly. "How are you feeling?" I asked gently.

"Can't complain." He replied as he dried his shaven face. "I think I'm gonna get on my bike and ride."

I nodded. "It's good to exercise. But I have a surprise for you first." I beckoned him to follow me into the other room where I presented him with the flowers.

"You got me flowers?" Brian gasped. "Why? It's not a special day or anything."

"I know, but you've been feeling down lately and I thought you deserved something nice." I stood up on my tiptoes to give him a quick kiss. "Do you like 'em?"

"They're beautiful, honey. The blue reminds me of your eyes." Brian remarked. "Thank you so much for thinking of me."

"Of course I'm thinking about you. You're never far from my mind." I told him. "I've been worried you, you know?"

"Worried about me? Why?" He asked obliviously.

"Why do you think? You've been so...sad." That probably wasn't the best word but it was the only thing that came to mind right now.

"I wouldn't say I'm sad. I'm just...well, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately." Brian sighed. 

"Well what else is new." I harped. "Thinking too much can be dangerous you know."

"I'm sorry if I concerned you. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the misery in the world. I mean Deaky and Ronnie are bringing an innocent child onto this dying Earth filled with so much cruelty. I'm struggling to give a voice to the animals who are hurting, but the more I think about it the more I realize why it's so difficult to get people to care. We don't even treat each other with equality and decency. If it's too much to ask that we respect our fellow humans, then how can we even begin to acknowledge the wellbeing of animals and this planet that we all share?"

"It's gonna be okay, Bri." I said. If there was ever a need for a cuddle it was now. So as Brian put the flowers in a vase, I slunk my arms around him from behind. "There are so many things wrong with the world, but you are one of the few good things we don't deserve." I nuzzled my face up against his shoulders. "I love you, you know. Even when you're being a debbie downer and bitching about veganhood, I still love you." 

"It's actually veganism, not veganhood." Brian corrected. 

"I love you, you moron." I cried. 

"I love you too, you idiot." He replied.

"Fair." I laughed. "Love you, Bri."

"Love you too, Rog."

I knew emotions and mental health were much more complicated than flipping a light switch and these spouts of depression could come and go. For now though that emptiness in Brian's eyes seemed to be fading away. I watched him working up a swear on his exercise bike, and I remembered Freddie's advice. What was something coquettish I could say in this situation?

"I want to ride your bicycle!" I shouted flirtatiously. 

"Really?" Brian asked. "I never knew you liked stationary bikes. I can buy you one if you'd like. We can bike side by side. That could be fun." 

I facepalmed. Did he just take me literally? I didn't even know how to ride a bicycle and going in one place like that was just stupid, not my idea of fun. "It's a metaphor, Brian."

Brian stopped pedaling. "What is wrong with you, Roger? Are you tired of fetishizing cars so now you've moved on to defiling bicycles?"

"Nope. It's only_ your _bicycle I want." I purred, reaching up to touch his knee that had stopped moving.

"Well, if that's what you want, I might be able to help you out." He slid his other leg back over the bike and stepped down. "I think you deserve a bit of spoiling after you were kind enough to bring me those beautiful flowers." 

"Yes." I squealed, but then I back away mischievously. "But if you want me, you'll have to catch me first." I ran as fast as I could stifling back my laughter. "Help! A sexy giant is chasing me!"

"Gotcha!" Brian finally caught up, grabbing me playfully as I pretended to fight back. "Oh no! I might as well give in." I giggled as I was carried to the bedroom.

***

"I think I needed that." Brian exhaled. "Felt good."

"More than good." I agreed, letting my eyes flutter shut. There was no longer that underlying fear of the darkness, I was at complete peace. "It was ecstasy." I hummed, enjoying the calming afterglow of sex. 

"Rog?" 

"Hmm?" I was so relaxed that I could barely respond. I might have been half asleep. 

"Do you ever feel guilty for being happy?" Brian asked hesitantly. "There's so much suffering going on right now. What right do we have to enjoy ourselves?" 

I became more aware and was slipping out of that blissful feeling and back into reality. "No, Bri. I don't feel guilty. There's nothing wrong with being happy. I lived most of my life believing that I wasn't worthy thanks to the things Michael would say about me and to my face. I'm done with that shit. Yeah, the world is a fucked up place and people are dying and in pain and the planet is on fire, but we can only do so much to help. I say we do what we can to stop the hate and call out injustices to the best of our abilities, but at the end of the day, we can't deny our own happiness because that doesn't make the world a better place. We should be spreading our joy, not suppressing it."

"You're quite the optimist." Brian observed. 

I shrugged. "I used to be a pessimist, but then I met you. Now I'm literally able to see how much I've missed out on and I don't want to waste any more time wallowing when I can make up for my lost childhood. Did you know children's books have pictures in them? I was today years old when I figured that out. It blew my mind." 

"With the way you act sometimes, I don't think your childhood is over yet, so there's still time." Brian teased. "What's something you've always wanted to do but couldn't or weren't able to?"

"Drive." I answered without hesitation. 

"Well you're doing that now. Something else, c'mon." He prompted. "Anything. I want to give you all the experiences you didn't get a chance to enjoy growing up." 

"Ummm..." I thought back to the stationary bike. "You know I never learned how to ride a bicycle. That stationary bike of yours is dumb, but I'd like to learn the normal kind."

"We can do that. I'll teach you how to ride a bike." Brian offered. "Will that help make up for what you couldn't have as a child?" 

"I don't think anything can make up for spending more than twenty years in the dark. Those memories won't suddenly be replaced with fond ones. I like to think of it more as creating new memories that I'll be able to look back on instead in the future." I explained ."So yeah. I'd love to learn to ride a bike if you'd be willing to teach me." 

"Then that's what we'll do. Tomorrow I'll teach you how to ride a bike." He said. "We'll make new happy memories to push aside the bad ones."

Doing this wouldn't erase the trauma, but it would help me overcome my past. Brian had this way of doing that, making me feel special without belittling me. "I feel like a child with you, but in a good way. You don't make me feel embarrassed for not knowing something. You just encourage me to learn and grow. And I love that." I confessed. 

"Being curious and being childish are two different things. Sometimes you act childish I'll admit, but for the most part it's curiosity, and it's understandable since everything is so new to you. I love how you are so adaptive and accepting of all of these changes. It must not be easy. I think about that a lot. Having to adjust to everything and handle it all so gracefully says a lot about your character. Your resilience is one of the many things that makes you beautiful, not just on the outside." 

"Bri, stop!" I flushed. "All this flattery is gonna make me cry and I'm already a big enough baby." 

"You're not a baby." Brian cooed. "You're _my _baby."

"Yours." I agreed, reaching beneath the sheets to take his hand intertwine our fingers. Brian tapped my palm, writing to me in morse a code, a skill he knew because he was a fucking know it all, and I knew because it was another way to communicate in the dark. "M-I-N-E." I spelled it out.

"We belong to each other." He whispered. 

"And we always will." I concurred. "Even when we have kids of our own, I'll still be your baby, but only yours. No one else can call me a baby."

"You wanna have kids someday?" Brian drawled.

I didn't actively think about raising a family with Brian, but it was something I assumed we'd do someday. "Not anytime soon, but one day yes." I said, hoping this wouldn't be a deal breaker. He let out a sigh of relief. "I don't think we're ready yet, but in the future I definitely want to have a family. I'm glad we agree about that." 

"For now I'm your only baby." I cooed. "Always." He confirmed. 

***

"Alright, I'm letting go. All you, Rog!" Brian announced. I was nervous that he was no longer holding me steady, but there was a sense of accomplishment when he finally let go and I was pedaling on my own. "You're doing it, Roger! All on your own!" Brian applauded. 

"Watch me go!" I screamed giddily as I sped down the street. Naturally, I caught the attention of joggers who gave me funny looks. I guess it was an odd sight to see an adult on a kiddy bike with training wheels. Screw them! Wasn't I entitled to having fun? I lifted my hand from the handlebar and flipped them off. Then I lost control of the bike and went spiraling out of control. Fuck! How did I stop again? I barreled down the street, heading off the road. 

"Roger!" Brian chased after me, colliding with the bike to stop it seconds before I crashed into a tree. We both ended up knocked over onto the ground, but neither of us were hurt. Brian stood and dusted himself off. "Are you alright?" "Yeah. Thanks for saving me." I got up and lifted the bike back up. "Hey, what's that?" I approached the bark of the tree curiously. 

Initials scrawled in a heart were carved into the wood. That was something I'd never seen before. "Do you think this tree is haunted? What if these are the initials of the ghosts?" 

"Why do you jump to the conclusion that everything is haunted?" Brian laughed. "People just like to carve their initials into trees sometimes. I think it's rude to the tree personally. I'd rather write the letters in the sand...or dirt in this case." He used a loose twig to doodle a heart in the dirt _Bri+Rog _was neatly written inside. "There we go!" 

"Aww." I chirped, giving him a kiss. Just for fun I took the twig and wrote out my own message. _Cars > Bicycles. _

"Yeah, but bikes are so much better for the environment." Brian said. "You're dead to me." I replied coldly. 

Then I got back up on my bike and attempted to ride away. I travelled a few feet before I nearly fell again, but Brian caught me. "Why do you have to be my hero and be so damn cute when you hate on cars like that? Ugh!" I cried, angrily kissing him. 

"I hope I'm forgiven." Brian said innocently. 

"You're on thin ice, May." I threatened. "Unlike you, cars don't talk back."

"Yeah they pollute instead." Brian said. 

"You stop that!" I screamed. 

"I'm only teasing, Roggie. Must you take your cars so seriously?" He assured me and gave me a kiss for good measure. 

"That's one thing that makes you better than a car. You kiss me back." I remarked. 

"Yeah I'd imagine that I--Wait what do you mean kiss _back_? Do you go around kissing cars, Roger?" 

"Don't be jealous. Like I said, you kiss back." I replied. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iT's jUSt A BiT wEiRd RoGEr, wHaT eXaCTlY aRe YoU dOiNg WiTh ThAT cAr?


	34. Is This the Real Life Is This Just Fantasy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While babysitting newborn Robert, Brian receives some good news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going through a lot of personal shit right now, but I felt like writing something just to get back into the supposed new normal. I've said it before and I'll say it again: 2020 is a bitch. 
> 
> Anyway I already wrote about the birth of Baby Robert in the Blind AU one-shots, so check that out if you're interested. Don't feel like repeating myself, so here's some fluff taking place after his birth.

_Brian's POV_

A few days after baby Robert was born, I asked John what it was like to be a father. Deaky said he didn't know because Freddie was hogging the baby so much that he might as well be the dad. I soon came to understand that while Robert was very much John and Veronica's son, he belonged to his uncles just as much. He was also our baby, our pride and joy, which meant he bounced around from household to household. Sometimes spending the day at Garden Lodge, other times spending hours and hours at our flat, but he ultimately found himself sleeping at home with Ronnie and Deaky.

So that was how I ended up babysitting the newborn for the third time this week while his parents slept. Roger refused to say no. Usually I'd be overjoyed to spend time with my new nephew, but I was busy with a campaign for Team Badger. Still, I put aside my work for a little while so I could help out with the baby.

Barely a month old, Robert couldn't interact much, but we still adored him. Of course Roger managed to have a lot of fun with him despite the crying and the nappies (my responsibility).

_"...The wheels on the Ferrari go round and round all through the autobahn..."_

"Keep it up and his first word will be car." I laughed as Roger sang to the little one who was resting comfortably in his portable swing-set.

"My first word was car. Nothing wrong with that." Roger replied. His smile was contagious as he stared down at Robert. "Such a little sweetiepie. Perfect, healthy baby boy. Nothing wrong with him. Thank the heavens."

"Precious." I agreed. I crouched down by the swing-set. Grinning, I covered my face with my hands and then removed them. "Peek-a-boo!" Robert stared up at me curiously. He didn't react much but there was definitely intrigue written on his little face. I did it again.

I noticed that it wasn't just the pair of baby eyes examining my actions. Roger was watching me with sudden interest. "Is that how that works? You cover your face? When Clare was a baby we'd do it all the time, but I thought it was nothing more than just saying peek-a-boo over and over."

"Yeah it um helps with object permanence." I explained trying not to pass judgement despite that slight heartbreak. Roger wouldn't want my sympathy. An explanation would suffice. "When babies are really little like this, when you cover your face, they think you're gone. Then you show them that you're still here."

"Makes sense." Roger just nodded, a solemn look replacing that pretty smile. Perhaps he was reflecting back on his own childhood experiences. Then he began to play peek-a-boo with Robert, but I knew whatever he was pondering a second ago wasn't exactly glossed over.

"Oh my God!" Roger giggled. "Look!" He stuck out his tongue, and sure enough Robert mimicked and did the same.

"Awww." This was a moment too cute not to capture so I took out my phone and snapped a photograph of the two of them with their pink tongues sticking out.

"One day when Robert grows up we'll show him this." I said.

"And he'll be able to see it." Roger murmured.

Why would he say something like that? I could give Roger nothing but reassurance. "Of course. He's a healthy boy. Senses intact. No need to worry."

"I know." Roger sighed. "Sometimes I just...Well I think about what happened to me. But Robert isn't like me. He's like Clare. The perfect baby. Nothing wrong with him."

"There's no such thing as perfect." I wasn't sure what else to say. I wanted to lie to Roger and say that he too had been the perfect baby, no less perfect than Clare had been or Robert. But we both knew that wasn't true. Parents prayed for a healthy baby. It was the one thing they would ask for, and Roger hadn't lived up to that standard when he was born. But he survived, and that was all that mattered. "You're not perfect, but that's okay. You're strong and you're a fighter. That is what's important."

"You know I cried when Clare turned to two." Roger reflected. "That was when I lost my sight. Around my second birthday. So I thought that because I was so close to Clare, she would end up like me and go blind too. I just cried so hard, and Mom and Dad ended up pissed at me for ruining her birthday party. I'm glad Clare doesn't remember any of that."

"Your parents may tell you otherwise, but you've always been a great big brother to Clare. Just like you're a great uncle to Robert." I told him.

"Thanks, Brimi." Roger accepted. Then he pushed aside whatever hurt he was suppressing and smirked. "You're not so bad yourself either. Robert will think of you as an average uncle while I'll be considered the great one."

I rolled my eyes. At least his sarcasm was a sign that he was feeling better. I didn't want my Roggie to be sad. That wasn't very becoming of him. I needed to take better care of him.

"Here's something that might cheer you up." I said pulling open my emails on my phone. "This is the campaign I've been working on with Team Badger."

I loaded the over the top animated video of badgers in an epic battle to a song featuring heavy guitar riffs and repeated lyrics of "save the badgers".

"I think it's too subtle." Roger teased.

Baby Robert made a soft gurgling noise. "Well at least he likes it." I laughed. Robert continued to coo and drool obviously having no idea what was happening. Only that cute face soon subsided to tears. No! What could be wrong? We changed his diaper earlier.

"Oh no! Don't cry. Shh. Shh. It's alright." Roger hushed as he picked up the baby and rocked him gently. Meanwhile I scrambled to figure out what to do.

"Bri, get the bottle."

Oh of course! Robert was hungry. Ronnie and Deaky were napping in the guest room and we didn't want to disturb the exhausted parents. So Veronica had left us with a bottle filled with her milk. No need to worry. I was just surprised Roger caught on so quickly. Like an expert, he took the bottle from me and fed Robert until the baby was satisfied.

"Great job, Roggie!" I applauded. "Now you've gotta burp him."

"What?" Roger frowned.

"Here." I took Robert from him and gently patted his back. Roger gasped. "What the hell are you doing, Brian?" He cried.

"What do you mean?" I asked, but Roger got his answer when Robert burped softly. With a sleepy yawn, his little eyes fluttered shut.

"Y-You...Babies burp when you hit them?" Roger gasped.

"I didn't hit him. I patted his back." I stated. Wait. "Roger, I would never ever hit a baby!" I put Robert back in the swing set.

"I never knew that burping and hitting looked the same." Roger sighed. "Sorry, Bri. Michael kinda conditioned me to assume the worst."

"That's alright." I told him. "Michael won't hurt you or Clare or anyone else anymore. He's locked up where he belongs. And when he gets out if he comes anywhere near you again, I might do something I'll regret."

"I don't wanna talk about him." Roger said. He watched Robert sleep and smiled softly. "Robert's a lucky little boy. I hope I don't jinx that."

"You won't. You can't. You're good luck, Roger. Look at all the soulmates you've put together, not even including us. Robert's parents wouldn't have met if it wasn't for you. Remember? You were the one who pushed Deaky to finally introduce himself to Ronnie. You're a lucky charm and I--"

A text message interrupted my impassioned speech motivating my love's self esteem. Roger was more important than anything, and I should have kept talking. Still something told me to look at this text.

_'Good news, Brian! We don't need the campaign. Parliament just voted. Badger cull is outlawed. We did it! Congratulations! Go celebrate!! We deserve it!'_

I dropped my phone in surprise. I couldn't believe this was happening! I had to ask myself: Is this the real life, is this just fantasy?

"We did it!" I squealed. I picked my phone back up and read the message again just to make sure it was real. Roger peered over my shoulder and read it as well. He screamed (right in my ear) and woke up Baby Robert. "You did it, Bri! You saved the badgers!" Roger shouted. "I'm so fucking proud of you!"

"What's going on?" John and Veronica emerged both appearing well rested. Ronnie picked up Robert and gave him his pacifier. Soon enough the baby quieted down but I still struggled to come to terms with this momentous victory.

"No more cull!" I couldn't believe I said those words. This didn't feel real. "We did it! The badger cull is outlawed!"

"Oh that's fantastic news! And I got a full 3 hours of sleep. Today is a wonderful day!" John applauded.

Then my phone lit up with tons of more texts and calls from people from Team Badger trying to contact me. "I should really get this." I said taking my phone into the other room.

***

"So this totally came out of the blue?" Roger asked.

"We knew Parliament was voting, but no one expected them to pass it. We thought we would have to try again and lobby some more. It's a miracle. I don't know how we got so lucky." I explained. "It's amazing that--"

"---Brimi! Pay attention to where you're going!" Roger pulled me out of the street seconds before a car zoomed by. I hadn't realized that the cross walk sign had changed. The person in the car honked at me and flipped me off as it sped away.

"Hey, are you okay?" A woman approached me. Another woman trailed her. "You've gotta be more careful." She said.

"Don't worry, ladies, I'll take care of him." Roger said, pulling me close. "But they're right, Bri. You can't just go walking around blindly like that. You could get hurt." His word choice was deliberate. If I dared to make a joke like that when Roger's head was in the clouds from time to time, I'd be a dead man.

"Yeah." The first woman said. "You need to watch where you're walki--Oh shit! Ew!" She stopped in her tracks and picked her foot out of the sticky pink gum she had stepped on.

"Oh here. Let me help." The second woman retrieved a coin from her purse and attempted to scrape the gum off. Then both of them gasped as their fingers brushed against each other. "The gum is pink!" They exclaimed in unison.

"Oh wow! Look at that, more soulmates!" Roger didn't even sound surprised. This happened too frequently for him, he was becoming numb to it.

"You know I'm starting to understand how we suddenly got lucky enough to get the bill passed." I accepted. This time I took Roger by the hand and guided us both safely across the street. Roger was indeed a good luck charm and I was blessed to call him mine.

"So are you sure you wanna eat at a vegan restaurant?" I confirmed as we approached the plaza. "I can find a vegan option somewhere else. I won't be mad."

"Tonight we're celebrating you, Brimi. I really don't mind having those sweet potato noodle things if it means making you happy. It's your special night. You've earned it." Roger stood up on his tiptoes and planted a chaste but firm kiss on my lips.

"Ok. House of Herbivores it is then." I agreed. How could life get any sweeter than this? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some mindless fluff. I'm still dealing with issues and a family tragedy but I'll be okay. Love you all! Stay safe out there please <3


	35. I Get Religion Quick 'Cause You're Looking Divine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Brian go to church.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unrelated to the story but happy birthday Paul McCartney!!! 
> 
> Anyway this chapter is brought to you by Brisus Christ, the savior of badgers, hedgehogs, and fangirls everywhere.

_Roger's POV_

_18 years ago..._

_"But I don't wanna go!" I whined, attempting to fall back asleep. "Too tired. I'll stay back with Clem-Clem." I pulled the sheets back up around me only to have them yanked away. I tried to knock Mom's hand away but she moved too quickly and I was too sleepy to listen in and figure out where she was. "C'mon, sweetheart you need to wake up now! Breakfast is downstairs. We can't be late. Everyone at the church is so excited to finally meet you. We've all been praying for you."_

_"Well pray harder 'cause I can't fucking see!" I grunted._

_"ROGER TAYLOR!" She screamed. "Who taught you that word? Was it your father?"_

_"Yes." I lied. It was Uncle Clem who taught me the no-no word, but I didn't want him to get in trouble. I'd much rather Mom be mad at Dad than him._

_"Well I don't want you using that word, especially not in church. It's a bad word. Okay? Now get up please. You need to go to church. If the doctors say your immune system can handle school, then you're definitely well enough to attend church. I told everyone last Sunday that you'd be there and I intend to keep that promise."_

_"But I like school." I yawned. "All the kids and teachers are like me so they know what it's like not to see. It won't be like that at church."_

_"I'm glad you like your school, honey, but you still have to go to church. Come on." Mom became more forceful and actually picked me up and dragged me out of bed. It really seemed like I had no choice. At least I was fully awake now._

_I always loved Sundays because I got to spend the whole morning with Uncle Clem while _ _Mom, Dad, and Clare _ _went to church. Uncle Clem was a self proclaimed atheist and didn't go to church. Until now I couldn't go because of my immune system. Now the doctors cleared me to do everything a normal person can do (including school, albeit a "special one"), but I still wasn't normal. My immune system was fixed, but my eyes were still broken. Mom insisted it was good for my soul to attend _ _church _ _every Sunday from now on, but if that were true then Dad would be a lot nicer. His soul was still rotten despite attending church._

_"I like church." Clare stated simply as Mom helped me make myself look "presentable"._

_"You like everything." I reminded her._

_"Not broccoli." She made a gagging noise._

_"Ow! Not so hard, Mom!" I winced as she combed my hair._

_"Sorry, baby. Oh, you look so handsome in your new church clothes. I can't believe it! I've been waiting for this day!" She sniffled. Good tears, I assumed. Of course last week when I went to school for the first time, they were the "bad" tears because she was afraid to let me go._ _ I hated making her upset, but I was genuinely happy for once. _ _It had only been a week_ _ since I started school, _ _but I freaking loved it. All my teachers told me I could do anything I wanted_ _, _ _and they were real grownups who lived in the dark like me. They couldn't be lying the way Mom would from time to time to make me feel better. I could have a life someday._

_"Michael, look at him!" Mom squealed and pinched my cheek. "Our little boy is all grown up and strong and healthy enough to go to school and be out in the community. I-I just can't believe it!"_

_"Hurry up or we'll be late." Dad responded coldly._

_"Car?" I asked eagerly as I took a careful step over the threshold that had tripped me too many times to count. I knew we were outside because it felt warmer and I could hear birds chirping in the distance. If I remembered correctly, the car was approximately 39 steps forward waiting in the driveway._

_"Mhm." Mom confirmed that we wouldn't be walking to church_ _ much to my delight. _ _"Michael, start the engine _ _while _ _I get the kids buckled in._ _" _ _I heard her unlock the car door. Yes! I ignored Mom telling me to wait, and hoisted myself up into the vehicle. "Roggie, be careful!" She cried, but I easily felt for the seat and plopped down_ _ in the proper spot_ _. I heard her sigh in relief as she helped me with my seatbelt. Next, with a few clicks Clare was secured in her carseat next to me._

_"Cars are the best!" I exclaimed as we began to move. I was lulled into a sense of calm by the momentum and sounds of the tires rolling and the engine revving._

_"Oh my goodness!" Mom gasped as the car slowed to a stop. "I-Is this for Roger? Reverend Berger promised a surprise, but I didn't expect this!"_

_"What?" I squirmed in my seat, struggling to unbuckle my seatbelt. "What's going on?"_

_"This is a waste of time. He can't even see the effort they're putting in to welcome him." Dad scoffed._

_"Well I think it's such a heartwarming gesture." Mom said, still giving me no clue what was happening. She opened the door and helped to unclick the seatbelt, but I stepped out of the car by myself. The moment I did I heard people applauding. From what I could tell it was a fairly large group clapping._

_"Welcome, Roger!" A man proclaimed. "_ _I'm Reverend Berger. _ _We're blessed to have you here with us and finally get to meet you_ _ after all these years."_

_"Reverend, you didn't have to do all this." Mom cried. "Everyone gathered out here to greet Roger with applause and a welcome sign_ _ is all so touching_ _."_

_"Oh it's the least we can do for our brave little man." I felt him pat my back. "God has a plan for everyone, and that includes you, Roger. One day you'll see the Lord's light. And we're all praying for you to stay well and find your way._ _ But now that the doctors say that you can safely be around people without catching any deadly germs, it's seems you're already on your path."_

_That light better come soon. I was never one to agree with Dad, but he had a point. This fanfare was meaningless to me. I couldn't see the welcome sign or the people clapping for me. It just made them feel better about themselves and did nothing for me. Soul saving was stupid as far as I was concerned._

_"So Reverend Berger, do you like burgers?" I asked, bemused. "_ _I c_ _an't see the Lord's light, but I can still taste his _ _food_ _ and thank_ _Jesus for that."_

_I earned several laughs from my _ _attempt at _ _humor, but I _ _soon _ _learned later that church wasn't much of a place for jokes. It was pretty dull, but I enjoyed the singing nonetheless. Well most of the singing anyway._

"..._Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound_  
_That saved a wretch like me_  
_I once was lost, but now am found_  
_Was blind but now I see..."_

_"Roggie's crying." Clare whispered, as the Reverend continued his sermon. "The power of music and the Holy Spirit can bring people to tears." Mom replied._

_'Or I'm just sad because I have to sing this stupid song reminding me that I can't see.' I thought, but I held my tongue. If I didn't behave, Dad would likely berate me as soon as we were somewhere more private._

_As Reverend Berger continued to read passages from the Bible, I decided to try my luck with this whole prayer thing._

_'Hi God.' I silently sent him a message. 'I promise I'll be a good boy if you give me my sight back.' I waited for...well I wasn't sure what I was waiting for. A sudden light. An illumination of my path that the Reverend spoke of. How could God's plan for me leave me in darkness? I folded my hands this and shut my eyes this time. 'I get it, God. You're busy. You have to answer lots of prayers. If you don't have time for me then at least send down an angel who can show me the light. Amen.'_

_Modern Day..._

"This is ridiculous." I grumbled. "I stopped going to church when I turned 18. This is _my _wedding, Mom. You can't make these decisions for me."

"For the last time, Roger," Mom didn't back down, "I refuse to let my baby boy walk down the aisle unless it's Reverend Berger conducting the ceremony. You don't have to get married in the church, but you do need the reverend to officiate the wedding. I've been going to this church since I was a teenager, so I've known the Reverend for a long time. When my parents disowned me, he was still here for me--for us."

"Look I know you probably would've aborted me if you didn't decide to turn to religion, but you don't have to hold that over my head." I cried.

"Honey, no!" Mom gasped. "I never would have..." She caught herself in her lie. "I was 16." She sighed. "I was scared and my parents kicked me out. Michael wasn't the best support system, and I-I....there were moments when I considered terminating my pregnancy. But believe me, Roggie, I don't regret keeping you for a second. You're my pride and joy and I love you with all of my heart."

I was not expecting her to be so forthright. "Thank you for finally being honest." I said. "If it really means that much to you, we'll have Reverend Berger orchestrate the wedding."

"Oh thank you, sweetheart! You won't regret this! You and Brian should really attend service this Sunday and talk to him." Mom proclaimed.

Brian was more spiritual than me and actually believed in God, but he never spoke about going to church. Religion in that regard wasn't too important for either of us. It played a role in Mom's life and Clare's as well. I wanted them both at my wedding. "I'll see what Bri says."

Later that day, I was finding a way to broach the subject. Brian was in a chipper mood talking about hedgehogs as I moved the peas around my plate trying to consider how to bring up the idea of going to church.

"...And then the hedgehog drove away in a _car._"

I looked up. "Car? Did you say car?"

"Ah," Brian grinned, "now I have your attention, don't I? What's wrong? Is it the peas?"

"Yes." Not a lie I hated this meal consisting of nothing but unappetizing veggies and a slab of tofu.

"Here, why don't you put the peas back in the pot and take more Brussel sprouts instead?" Brian offered as if that would remedy things.

"Here I'll eat the wretched things if it makes you happy." I put a spoonful in my mouth and tried not to recoil as I swallowed. "There! Are you satisfied?"

"Something is bothering you and it's not the veg. You've been so quiet. So I know something's wrong. What's the matter?" Brian pressed.

"My Mom wants the Reverend from her church to orchestrate our wedding." I blurted.

"Oh." Brian seemed surprised. "That's it? I was expecting a much bigger problem. It's no issue at all. I don't care who marries us whether it's Frankenstein's monster or the Queen of England herself so long as they get the job done properly. But yes I'd imagine a Reverend would be the best fit."

Why couldn't I be more easy going like that? "You're alright with that?" I asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Brian shrugged. Then he paused. "This Reverend doesn't have a problem with same sex marriages, right?"

Oh shit! I hadn't considered that. Religion really did fuck everything up. Why couldn't two people be in love while the rest of the world minded their own business? "I don't know. Mom wants us to attend service this Sunday and talk to him. It'll make her happy and she finally seems to be back in a good mindset. I don't wanna undermine that. So we'll just go to church and talk to the Reverend and see what happens?" I sighed. 

"You don't have to do this just to please Winifred, but I'll support whatever decision you make." Brian said. "Now you seriously need to eat your veg or else I'lll lock the cookie jar and hide the key somewhere you'll never find."

"Life is cruel." I groaned. 

Reaffirming that sentiment, we both received a text message at the same time. It was in our group chat, so it went to both of us. 

**Freddie**😸:

_Threat level AY-OH! Jim's sister and brother-in-law passed away in a bad car accident. I'm going to Ireland with him for the funeral. We leave tomorrow. Not sure when we'll be back. Deaky, tell Robert not to grow anymore until I return. _

Shit! That was very tragic. Jim had nine other siblings, so they could all comfort each other over the loss, but it was still heartbreaking. I didn't know how to respond to such bad news. So I just ate the veg because it seemed wrong to complain over petty things at this point. 

***

I refrained from holding Brian's hand. As much as I loved him and his touch, it probably wasn't the brightest idea to enter a church hand-in-hand. Religion is so dumb. Why did we need to seek out the permission of a reverend anyway? 

"Roggie! You're here!" Clare gasped. It had been a while since I announced I'd never be returning to church. Moving in with a Deacon had been enough to restore my soul. So I guess I could understand Clare's shock upon seeing me wide awake and dressed in a nice suit on a Sunday morning. 

"Oh I'm so glad both of you could make it!" Mom exclaimed. "Even William agreed to come and he's an atheist."

"I said if Winnie is gonna make a fellow scientist like Brian suffer through this, then I wanna be there and watch him get tortured." William chuckled. 

"It's not torture, and I'm not an atheist. I do believe in a God. I just don't subscribe to an organized religion, but it's important to be spiritual. You can be a scientist and still believe in some sort of a higher power. In fact, as a scientist it would illogical and even ignorant to rule out any possibilities about the universe's creation." Brian stated eloquently. 

"I don't like religion 'cause it fucks people up." I said. 

"Roger!" Mom cried. "Please don't say things like that and especially not so loud." She looked around nervously, but I don't think anybody heard me. 

This time when I looked up in response to the sound of the church bells, I saw an actual structure sway back and forth atop the building. "Cool!" I grinned as everyone gathered inside. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad now that I could experience it with a pair of working eyes. 

Upon entering the first thing I naturally noticed was the large stained glass window design depicting Christ. I was reminded of a different stained glass window: the true first thing I ever saw. It was safe to say that chapels would now hold good memories for me. How could they not when I was instantly reminded of that glorious day when I saw my soulmate for the very first time.

Reverend Berger was a chubby little man with white streaks in his short blonde hair, but he had a rich deep speaking voice that filled the entire room, the same way I remembered it. Now that I was able to see him and look around at all the other people filled into the pews, I wasn't as bored with the sermon. I followed along with the passages he read aloud in my Braille bible, but I really didn't need it anymore. What I had pictured was most of churchgoers not looking down at the words written on their pages because they had it memorized, but that was only the case for a select few. Even Mom and Clare had to read along because they didn't know the Bible verses by heart. Interesting. However, when it came to song lyrics, nobody had to look down at lyrics, they all knew it. I watched the choir sing at the top of their voices recalling how I once wanted to join but was too afraid to ask my parents. I'm sure I would have been allowed. What difference did vision make? In fact some of the singers had their eyes closed as they crooned the harmonious notes. I ended up joining the chorus at my school instead, so there was a happy ending.

"...And as always, let's end this service with a rendition of Amazing Grace." 

Ahh, the song I used to loathe. Did it bother me this time? I looked back up to the stained glass window as I sang. Then over to Brian. _"...I once was lost but now am found/Was blind but now I see..." _No, I think I actually like this song now. 

After the service commenced, Mom beckoned for us to come and talk to the Reverend. The moment of reckoning was upon us. "Excellent sermon as always, Reverend." Mom shook his hand. 

"Thank you, Winifred." He turned to me and smiled warmly. "Roger, it brings me such joy that you came again."

_'That's what she said.' _Why do all of my dirtiest joke come to mind at such inappropriate times? "T-Thank you, sir." I tried not to laugh. 

"Winifred tells me you've finally found God's light and I couldn't be happier for you." Reverend Berger said. "You are blessed to have experienced such a miracle."

"I am." I agreed. "Thank you for your prayers." I doubt they helped, but I wanted to be nice. "This is Brian." I introduced awkwardly. "He's my um..um.."

"Fiancé." Brian was straightforward. 

"Oh that's wonderful. God bless the both of you." Reverend Berger said without a hint of ill-will. I let out a sigh of relief. "You aren't going to tell us we're going to hell?" I asked. 

"Hell is redeemed for sinners. What sins have you committed? No good Christian would say that love is a sin. If they do say that for whatever reason, then in the end God shall have the final judgement." He explained. "Congratulations to the two of you! I wish you all the happiness in the world." 

"Reverend, you must be the one to orchestrate their wedding!" Mom intervened. "That would mean the world to all of us."

"I would like nothing more if that's what you want. I'd gladly oversee your vows on your wedding day." The Reverend agreed. 

It turned out to be a good day after all. I didn't plan on returning to church next Sunday, but at least I knew that I wouldn't be turned away if I ever chose to come back. 


	36. Fat Bottomed Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie and Jim face a life changing event. Meanwhile, Roger still harbors feelings of insecurity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who got the sneak peak in the last one-shot I wrote, this is the chapter that we are officially introduced to Azalea. Happy Father's Day everyone! Here's some angst, but balanced with fluff.

_Roger's POV_

When Freddie issued a threat level ay-oh, it was usually taken with a grain of salt. It ranged from a legitimate emergency to a bird pooping on his head. Today was one of those times to take it seriously.

Freddie was still in Ireland with Jim, but he sent out another threat level ay-oh asking us to get the next flight out to Dublin and meet him at the hospital. That didn't sound good. I was scared as to what condition we would find the couple.

What I didn't expect was to be directed to the nursery. We found them out in the hallway, where some new parents were either celebrating or nervously waiting. Eek! I didn't doubt Dad and Uncle Clem were once in that position when Mom went into labour. That was not something I wanted to think about right now.

Freddie was comforting a sobbing Jim. Oh no! "Jim, my condolences." Brian said. "What a tragic loss. Is there anything we can do?" Jim shook his head and Freddie just continued to hold him, trembling slightly as well.

"Thanks for being here, darlings." Freddie whispered. "We need all the support we can get."

"Of course." I said.

As if on cue, Deaky came rushing over. "I'm so sorry! I got here as soon as I could. Why are we in the nursery?"

"My sister was 35 weeks pregnant." Jim sniffled. "Freddie and I were supposed to be the godparents."

Things just got even worse. Now they were mourning over three lost lives, one was cut so short it didn't even get a chance. "I'm so so sorry." I nearly cried. "Whatever we can do...even if it's nothing at all." Some situations had no solutions. All the thoughts and prayers in the world wouldn't help. These helpless situations were awful.

A doctor approached us and I braced myself for the worst. "I-Is the baby still with us?" Jim croaked almost inaudibly. Freddie squeezed his hand and whispered something in her ear.

Then the doctor smiled. "The baby is doing very well. She's breathing on her own and has healthy vitals, so we just wanted to let you that she's no longer in ICU. You'll be able to take her home in a matter of days. But you'll need to fill out lots of paperwork. Since her parents passed before they could complete the birth certificate she's currently in our files as a Jane Doe. I doubt that's the name you'll want for her."

"She's healthy?" I asked tentatively. I had to let my past stop haunting me. Just because I had unfortunate luck as a baby didn't mean every other child was doomed to that same fate.

"There's absolutely nothing wrong with her. She's a beautiful baby girl. All she needs is a name and a loving family." The doctor confirmed. "But I'm sure her mother picked out godparents whom she trusted dearly." He gestured to Freddie and Jim.

"Daisy wanted to name her daughter Azalea, so they'd both be named after flowers. She-She was a florist like me. So...I want the baby's name to be Azalea Daisy." Jim said. "It's what Daisy would want."

"It's a beautiful name." Freddie acknowledged. "I know Daisy would have loved her baby Azalea. We'll do right by her, Jim."

"Aye." Jim cried. "I-I knew we wanted to raise a family, but...but..."

"I know." Freddie consoled him. "I know, darling. This isn't how we imagined it at all. Nobody wanted this, but that baby girl needs us right now."

"She's our daughter now." Jim gasped. "T-This is...so much to take in."

"It won't be easy, dear. B-But we have to do what's right. I love you." Freddie murmured. "I promise it'll be okay."

***

"She kinda looks like you, Jim." Freddie noted as he held precious Azalea in his arms. The baby was smaller than Robert. I was told she weighed only 4lb, but was doing just fine. I held up my finger and watched as her dark eyes followed its trail. She could see, and her immune system was normal. Another perfect and healthy baby even though she was on the smaller side.

"My sweet little flower." Jim cooed. "Your parents were wonderful people and we'll miss them every single day. I'm sorry you didn't get to meet them, but Freddie and I are going to take good care of you. I promise you'll be in a loving home and we'll do everything we can to keep you happy."

"We'll spoil you rotten, my little princess." Freddie smiled down at her. He hummed a soothing lullaby, and the baby's eyes fluttered shut.

"I can't wait for her to meet Robert. They can be playmates." Deaky said.

Azalea squirmed slightly in her sleep. Suddenly her eyes shot open and she started to cry. Freddie shushed her as he gently rocked her, but it wasn't working. "Oh please don't cry, my darling."

I actually didn't mind it too much when babies cried. When Clare was a baby, that was the only thing I knew about her: the way she would cry. Until I got to hold her for the first time, I really had no clue what she "looked" like. "Hey, Azalea, it's alright to cry." I whispered. "We hear you, baby. We're here." Her teary brown eyes stared up at me, and then her tiny hand fisted around my thumb. The tears subsided.

"Aww, why are you such a cutie?" I cooed.

"We can ask you the same thing, Roggie." Brian remarked.

"You're really good with babies, Rog." Deaky observed. "You get Robert to stop crying the same way."

"He's good with babies because he is one." Freddie remarked. "And I mean that in the best way, of course. Here, you can hold Azalea."

"Really?" I took her gently into my arms, being as delicate as possible. "She's such a smol bean. Oh I'm so happy I can see you."

"I think she's happy to see you too." Jim said.

Soon Azalea fell back asleep and was transferred back into Jim's arms. Unlike with Robert's birth, the atmosphere wasn't celebratory, but I wouldn't necessarily call the mood somber. Perhaps quiet was the best way to describe it. Not much was said and we just exchanged nods and small smiles. Again I had to ask myself what it was like when my parents were told that I wouldn't be coming home and would be spending my foreseeable future quarantined in an incubator. A new baby was supposed to be a joyous occasion, not a reason to mourn. With the loss of Jim's sister and brother-in-law and the shock thrown on him and Freddie unexpectedly becoming parents, this wasn't a happy moment. Still, Azalea was welcomed into the family with open arms. '_That's how it should be.' _I thought. Regardless of how she ended up here she should be loved. Orphaned and tiny, even sick and blind, I would love my niece no matter what.

***

"So now a nephew and a niece? Wow Rog! The family just keeps growing. I'm sure they love you already." Uncle Clem said.

"Robert's already grown so much and he's not even three months old yet, but Azalea is so so small. She looks like a little doll." I explained. "I was scared that I might hurt her when I held her."

"That sounds adorable You were small and fragile like that when you were born. Only 2.39 lb. So tiny and sweet." He recalled. "Now Clare on the other hand, she was a fat baby. Almost 9 lb. Can you believe that? Big chubby baby cheeks and the cutest little arm rolls."

"I don't remember that." I tried to recollect holding Clare for the first time if she felt heavy.

"Well she lost a lot of that baby fat pretty early on." Uncle Clem clarified. "But it was cute while it lasted and I guess it's a good thing that she lost the weight."

"Clem are you fat shaming?" I heard Keiko's voice in the background.

"No of course not." He looked away from the computer screen to yell back to his girlfriend. "Fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go round. In fact, fat babies are generally healthier than..." Clem looked back into the screen remembering that I was the sickly one. "All babies are adorable, big or small, fat or skinny." He saved himself.

"But the small and frail ones aren't healthy." I sighed.

"You never let your health or your eyes stop you." Uncle Clem insisted. "When we finally brought you home after almost 3 years, you were so excited. You waddled around the house, bumping into everything right and left. Winifred was trying to stop you from getting hurt, but every time you fell you just stumbled back up and continued to roam around. I remember you had this huge smile on your face. You were just so eager to explore a new place outside of that hospital floor. Nothing bothered you, not even your lack of sight. That's when I knew that you were gonna be okay. What matters is what you make of a horrible situation. I always say when life give you lemons you—"

"—Run them over with your car and drive to go find something sweet!" I giggled.

"Not how I was gonna put it, but you're exactly right." Uncle Clem agreed. "But right now things are pretty sweet for you with these new babies in your life. Aren't babies the best? Such little sweeties."

"They are." I found myself smiling. "What was I like when I was a baby and I could still see?"

"Oh well you were such a small little thing but you were always very loud and that hasn't changed. Right from the start you had a pair of lungs and could scream endlessly. Of course as soon as you got what you wanted whether it was a bottle or being held, you would quiet down." He recounted.

"So really not much has changed." I laughed.

"So how are things with you and Brian?" Uncle Clem wondered.

"Too good to be true." I answered honestly. He seemed to read between the lines. "What do you mean by that?"

"With all these new babies in the family I've been thinking about one day having kids with Brian. I know he'll make such a good dad because he always takes care of me." I voiced.

"You say that like it's a problem." Uncle Clem noted. When he told me he was well read in psychology that wasn't one of his lies.

"I love him but I...I don't know. I feel like I don't deserve to be treated so special. I keep thinking that one day Bri's gonna call me out for being such a burden. I mean why would he want to start a family with me when he already has to deal with me?" I exhaled.

"Nobody thinks you're a burden, Roger, especially not Brian." Uncle Clem assured me. "Who gave you that idea? Was it Winifred? Because we both know your mother can say things she doesn't mean."

"What? No. I feel this way. It's coming from me. When I think about everything Brian does and I wonder why he would want to be with me. I know we're soulmates but it feels like we're not so well balanced because he's so much better than me. He deserves someone else, someone better. I don't deserve him."

"No one is better than you, and you need to stop thinking that you're unworthy of love. You're only fooling yourself when you do that. Your eyes work now, Roger. Open them and you'll see that we all love you and you deserve all of it and more."

"But I--"

There was a knock on the door. Brian poked his head into the room, looking like a wet poodle with curls dripping from the shower. "I'm going to bed, Rog. Don't stay up too late. I don't want you to be cranky tomorrow."

"I'm gonna go to bed after this." I told him.

"Okay, my little spoon. See you in a bit." He blew me a kiss and shut the door.

"Did he just call you his little spoon?" Uncle Clem asked, bemused. "That is so--"

"--Sweet!" Keiko chimed in from somewhere off screen. "

"Well I won't keep you from your big spoon any longer." Uncle Clem said. "Get some rest, Roger, and we'll talk again soon."

"Mhm." I yawned.

As promised as soon as I was done with the video chat, I went straight to bed. "Bri." I snuggled up close to him. He grumbled something in his sleep as I snuck beneath his arms to have him hold me. That was better.

_I couldn't believe my eyes. Yes, they were new and untrustworthy. So I had to be mistaken. Still I couldn't bring myself to look away. There was Brian, my fiancé, my soulmate, the one I loved and trusted, snogging some other man in broad daylight. What else could I be looking at? I wasn't sure if I was heartbroken or pissed off. I didn't want to come to terms with this betrayal._

_"Bri!" My voice came out as a hoarse choke._

_He pulled away from the boy casually, still smiling and keeping and arm around the stranger. "Hello, Roger. Have you met my new beau?" Brian asked without shame._

_"New beau?" I cried. "Have you lost your fucking mind?"_

_"What are you talking about?" Brian had the audacity to ask with a laugh._"_This is Bryan. He spells it with a Y. And he's everything you're not. He's smart, not so clingy, doesn't have to rely on me for every little thing, has perfect 20-20 vision, and did I mention that he's tall? We're getting married."_

_"Um no you're not." I said bluntly._

_Bryan with a Y stood up to his full height—a good 7 ft tall. Christ! Was he a basketball player or something? He towered over me like a tree. "What do you mean we're not? You'd better watch yourself, little man or soon there'll be nothing for you to even see cause I'll rip your eyes out of their sockets." Huh. I remember Michael once slurring that exact same threat to me when he stumbled home highly drunk and bumped into me. I wouldn't back down like a cowering child this time._

_"Fuck you! Brian is my soulmate and my fiancé. You can't just steal him from me you giant bully!" I shouted. "You stand so tall you don't frighten me at all!" _

_"Ahh, Rog, don't be mad." Brian said. "You're cute and all but you're not husband material. I wanna have kids some day. How can I expect you to be on the same page when you can't even care for yourself. Besides, you weren't meant to be a father. You'll be just like Michael because that's the standard you were raised with. I don't want that for my future kids. They deserve better. I deserve better. If you really love me, then you'd understand. You would agree that marrying a failure like you would be a big mistake. Why should I have to settle for you? Bryan can take care of me. You expect me to care for you and not the other way around."_

_"Don't waste your breath on this loser." Bryan laughed. "He's not worth the effort. C'mon baby lets go home and fuck and force him to watch us. That'll make him wish he was blind again."_

_"Great idea! That way he can also see how much bigger you are than him and how you're so much better at pleasuring me." Brian announced unabashedly. _

_"Y-You can't make me watch you two have sex" I shrieked. "Brian, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're supposed to be my kind, gentle Brimi, not some sick bastard who blatantly cheats on his soulmate and forces voyeurism." _

_"It's what you deserve, Rog." Brian replied with a shrug. "Why fool yourself to believe otherwise?" _

_Bryan made a grab for me and I knew he was going to stay true to his word. Soon I'd be like Alex in A Clockwork Orange undergoing the Ludovico Technique with my eyes forced open._

"Roger!" I nearly punched Brian as I shot up in a daze, my nightmare still fresh in my mind. "Rog? It's okay. You're safe. It was just a bad dream."

"Y-You...You're still my kind, gentle Brimi?" I looked into the familiar hazel eyes filled with compassion. "Ahh, Bri...I-I'm sorry."

"Sorry? What are you sorry for, sweetheart? Don't worry about waking me. I just want to know that you're alright." He kissed my cheek. "Breath with me, love. In and out. In and out."

I tried to breath, but I couldn't focus. "Y-You wouldn't leave me...for someone...someone better? S-Someone you really deserve?"

"Why would you ask me that, Roggie? You're made for me. You're my soulmate. There's nobody out there better for me than you. That's why we're together. It's why I wanna marry you." Brian gave me another kiss, this one to my lips. "I love you and I'm here. It was just a bad dream."

"B-But I'm so dependent on you and that's not fair. You should have someone who can take care of you. Someone who would be a good father to you future kids." I reiterated my fears. 

"I_ like _caring for you. I know if you had to, you'd look after me, but I prefer to pamper and nurture you. That's what makes me happy and feel fulfilled. And you're so good with Robert and Azalea, you'll make a fantastic father. But we don't have to worry about that right away. We have time. Just because the others are having children doesn't mean we have to rush. We have our whole lives ahead of us." 

"T-Together?" I confirmed. 

"I'm not going to leave. Get that into your pretty little head, okay?" Brian kissed the top of my head. "I love you." 

"I love you...but I-I don't deserve--"

"--Yes. Yes, Roger, you do deserve me. You deserve love and happiness. I've been down that dark road too many times, questioning my own worth or the very reason to get out of bed in the morning. You need to believe me when I tell you that you're worthy of my love. You bring me light, honey. You might not realize it, but it's true. You help me push through my depression just by being here and loving me. It's so much more manageable now that you're here. And I wish you could see..." Brian stopped mid-sentence. "You _can _see obviously. What I mean to say is that I wish you would _know _how special you are and what you mean to me, my little angel."

"There's no Bryan with a Y?" I asked tentatively. 

He frowned. "What are you talking about?" 

I felt better hearing his confusion. It was nothing more than a meaningless dream."Thanks, Brimi." I kissed him. "I think I'm ready to go back to sleep."

"Sure. I'll sing you back to sleep if that's what you want." Brian offered.

"Mhm." I nuzzled myself closer so my face was resting in the crook of his neck. I could feel the vibrations of his vocal cords as he sang.

_"Woh - everything I do I do for you_

_Ow  
Oh yeah_

_We touch and you're afraid of me  
And we burn and now I'm at your feet  
High speed, but you know you're in safe hands  
Ooh, in the dark we make a brighter light  
From one spark to the horizon wide  
We trust, and together we tame the land, yeah_

_Oh you'd be forgiven if you think you're dreaming_  
But we're working night and day to make a dream come true, yeah  
Everything I do is driven by you..."

I shut my eyes and began to drift away. Bryan with a Y didn't make another appearance in my dreams. I was spared from anymore nightmares until dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Rog, still so insecure even though he's curing Brian's depression. There's plenty more to come as we build up to the Maylor wedding!


	37. You're My Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now both boys have insecurities and need cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is somewhat inspired by the Seinfeld episode where George loses his glasses, but despite my weird attempts at humor there is ANGST! Two chapters in a row with angst, I know. I'm sorry. But don't worry there will be fluff in the end. Thanks to everyone who's still reading! I can't bring myself to work on my other stories right now, so it's nothing but Blind AU for now. Anyway on with the show!

_Brian's POV_

Sweet Lady Magazine voted Roger as this year's prettiest face. I couldn't imagine the title going to anyone else. I had mixed feelings about Roger's modeling career. I didn't want to be jealous but I guess it was natural when a gorgeous picture of my soon to be husband was printed on the cover of a magazine being sold across the UK for others to marvel and fantasize.

"I finally achieved something all on my own!" Roger cheered with an infectious smile. He waved the magazine in the air excitedly.

_'Definitely all on your own.' _I thought when I noted Roger's finger lacking a ring in his pictures. To be fair Roger told me in advance that he had been asked to take the ring off for the photo shoot. The magazine would sell more copies that way by making Roger appear more desirable as a single man. I wasn't exactly thrilled to hear that news but saying no to Roger is not my forte.

I flipped through the magazine stopping at a group photo of Roger posing with other models from the photography company where he worked. Roger had his arms around two women in bikinis, and a trio of men stood behind them, one of them resting his arm on Roger's shoulder. Ethereal Roger with his bright blue eyes sparkling bewitchingly fit in perfectly with the attractive bunch. These were the knockouts he belonged with and I had known it from the very start.

What could Roger possibly see in me? His eyes were new and unexposed to the different ways people look, but surely by now he picked up on the fact that I was a gangly, curly mess. Clearly an out of this world cutie like Roger belonged with one of these beauty kings or queens. Not me.

"Bri?"

I looked up from the 2d image of my love which would have been the most exquisite thing I had ever laid eyes upon if it wasn't for the real life figure in front of me.****

"You look heavenly as always in these pictures." I told him. Roger just smiled, blushing slightly. "Thanks. I'm glad you like them." He looked down at the magazine and then back up at me somewhat anxiously. "I um. I have to tell you something."

Usually Roger would speak his mind. This preface was a bad sign. What if he was cheating on me with one of the models? No! How could I think like that? Roger loved me and beyond a superficial level. No relationship could ever be perfect, but ours was pretty darn close.

"I have to be honest." Roger inhaled. "And I've been giving this a lot of thought. I um..." He trailed off. "Yes?" I prompted and Roger seemed to get even more nervous.

"I'm going to visit Deaky. I wanna see Robert." He said abruptly. Before I could question it, Roger planted a chaste kiss to my cheek and reached for his car keys. "I'll be back soon!" He left so suddenly that I hardly had a chance to question this strange behavior. Roger was in such a rush that he left his sunglasses behind.

If Roger was going to visit John, I figured I might as well visit Freddie. It was better than wallowing around the flat wondering what had gotten into Roger. He wasn't cheating on me. I needed to trust him.

I told myself that but when I arrived at Garden Lodge, the first words out of my mouth were "I think Roger is cheating on me."

"Cheating in Scrabble probably." Jim laughed, but then he took in my serious expression. "Why don't you sit down and have some tea? We should talk about these things before you go making accusations like that."

Freddie was so busy playing with Azalea that he didn't notice me come in. He held up a mirror to the baby's face. "Mirror mirror in my hand, who's the fairest in all the land? Trick question, it's you darling!"

"Teaching her vanity before anything else." Jim stated.

"Hardly. I'm teaching her self confidence and pride." Freddie corrected. "Brimi, dear, what are you doing here?"

"I just stopped by to say hi." I said which wasn't exactly a lie.

"He thinks Roger is cheating." Jim said bluntly.

"Oh yes. I'm aware. Roger cheats all the time." Freddie replied flippantly. "But I'm afraid I won't be much help to you. You should consult a dictionary. Don't you keep one in your hair? How else do you know all those big words?"

Wait... "No, Freddie, I'm not talking about Scrabble."

"Oh. I understand now. Here's what you have to do. Tell Roger that if he doesn't play fairly you'll force him to be the thimble instead of the race car next round." Freddie stated.

"I'm not talking about Monopoly either, Freddie. I think Roger is cheating on me. He was acting really strange earlier and then out of nowhere decided to go visit Deaky." I explained. "What if he's having an affair with one of the models he works with?"

"You're delusional, darling. Apparently Azalea isn't the only one who needs to learn about confidence. You're Roger's whole world. He doesn't want anybody else but you." Freddie said. "And I don't blame him for wanting to see Deaky so badly. Who doesn't? Deaky is indisputably the best. So, no Rog is not cheating on you. Don't be daft."

I needed to hear that. "Yeah you're probably right. I guess I'm overreacting." As I sat down next to Freddie, Azalea reached up from his lap as if she was asking to be held by me. "May I?" I asked. 

Freddie grinned. "You are May." I rolled my eyes. "You can hold her, dear, if that's what you're asking." He clarified.

"Hi baby." I cradled Azalea gently. She was still so small. "Your Papa is right, you are the fairest of them all." I cooed as she put her itty-bitty thumb in her mouth.

"I knew she'd make you feel better." Freddie remarked. "I'm always right, aren't I?"

It was statistically impossible to always be right. In this case however, holding little Azalea made me feel better, and I prayed Freddie was right about Roger. There had to be another explanation as to why he got up and left so quickly.

_Roger's POV_

I wasn't going to lie. Being named prettiest face was very exciting and I was eager when the magazine arrived. I loved the feeling of validation, like I was worthwhile and mattered. Only I was starting to have my doubts about being a model. I still hadn't entirely given up on my dream of becoming a rockstar dentist. Modeling couldn't be the only thing I was good at, right? There had to be more to me than just a pretty face? Spending so much time unable to see a thing, I often underestimated how far my good looks would take me. What if Brian only loved me because I was handsome? That would explain why he put up with me and all my bullshit. I was cute and a good lay. I had no other desirable values. Who would want someone so clumsy and childish?

I was afraid to tell Brian that I wanted to quit modeling and go back to school. Would I disappoint him? What if he believed that modeling was the only thing I was capable of doing? Brian was so smart. If I couldn't succeed academically and flunked out of dental school (or didn't even make it into dental school) then it would become even more apparent that I wasn't good enough for him intellectually.

Of course I had to tell Brian I was feeling this way. He had been nothing but supportive and hopefully that would continue.

"Bri?"

He looked up from the magazine. "You look heavenly as always in these pictures." Brian said as if he was in a daze. Fuck! It was true, he really only did like me for my looks after all. I forced myself to smile and be pretty so he'd be happy. "Thanks. I'm glad you like them."

Oh this was ridiculous. This was my fiancé, my soulmate. I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. I couldn't lie like this.

"I have to be honest." I inhaled. "And I've been giving this a lot of thought. I um..." Would he laugh at me? Call me stupid and insist I stick with what I'm good at?

"Yes?" Brian prompted.

I panicked. I couldn't do it. "I'm going to visit Deaky. I wanna see Robert." At least the drive to Deaky's flat would clear my head. It would be nice to get out on the open road and forget all my troubles. So I ran out the door without giving it much more thought.

About halfway through the drive, I realized that I was driving with my "bubble vision". Seeing was seeing as far as I was concerned, but it would be nice to have my prescription sunglasses so things would be a bit more clear. Oh well. It was just slightly annoying, but I could go without my glasses if needed.

Much to my surprise when I pulled into the driveway I spotted Brian already there waiting for me. Did he follow me here? I got out of the car. Brian didn't react. He just stood there, stiff and tall. "Bri, what are you doing here?" I asked. He didn't reply.

Deaky opened the door. "Hey, Rog, are you okay?" He called, not addressing Brian. Was I going slightly mad?

"Yeah." I said not wanting to cause alarm.

"Why are you talking to a tree then?" John laughed. What the fuck? As I got closer to "Brian", it became clear that this wasn't the slender curly silhouetto of a man but was actually a tree with fluffy greens atop its branches. Fuck! This was embarrassing. How could I mistake a tree for the love of my life? Why did I have to be such an idiot? Brian deserved better.

"What's going on?" John asked as he ushered me inside.

"Um...I'm not even sure." I sighed.

"No Robert!" Deaky shut the door before the baby could crawl outside. Robert had been learning to crawl and it was probably the most adorable thing in the world. "Wow! Look at him go!" I watched as he crawled around the room. Seeing my nephew make his way across the carpet did wonders to cheer me up.

"He's been picking up some speed." Deaky laughed. "Come, sit down."

Ronnie picked up her son and they joined us in the living room. We made some small talk (mostly about how quickly Robert was growing) until I finally got around to explaining why I came over to visit.

"...And instead of telling Brian that I wanna quit modeling I freaked out and came here."I left out the part where I mistook a tree for Brian because I already felt pathetic enough.

"I don't understand. Why can't you just tell Brian that you wanna go back to school? He'll be supportive." John insisted. "It seems like the only one in your way is your own self. You've somehow convinced yourself that you're not bright enough. I know hanging around Brian too much might make you feel dumb by comparison, but believe me you're just as smart as any other chaps out there. It's not our fault that Bri's a super genius who makes the rest of us look bad. The point is you can do anything you want, Roger, and if you work hard enough you'll be successful. Brian will be proud of you no matter what you choose to do. We're all proud of you, Rog. You've come a long way."

"This is why you're my best friend. Why are you always so fucking nice to me, Deaks? Even before I could see, you treated me as your equal." I exclaimed.

"You've always been my equal, Rog." He replied with a shrug. "Now how bout I drive you home so you can come clean to Brian about your ambitions? I don't think it's a good idea for you to get back behind the wheel without your glasses. Ronnie, we'll be back soon."

"Are you serious? I wanna drive." I pouted as John kissed Robert goodbye and told him to be good.

"No arguments, Rog. It's not safe for you to drive without your glasses." Deaky said sternly.

"Seeing is seeing." I huffed following him out the door unwilling to hand over my car keys. It was true. I wasn't in the dark anymore, so why couldn't I drive?

"How many fingers am I holding up Roger?" I looked at John's hand which seemed to have multiplied into many hands when he stood so far away. "Umm...39?"

He shook his head and grabbed the keys from me. I sighed in defeat and climbed into the passenger seat. The drive home seemed uneventful. We were almost to the flat when Deaky stopped at a red light. I looked out the window. There was a woman seated on a bench, hugging a curly mass. Was that a man? Oh my God!

"STOP THE FUCKING CAR!" I screamed.

"We are stopped. It's a red a light. What's going on?" Deaky asked.

"Look!" I cried pointing to the woman and my cheating fiancé. This wasn't a dream this time. I had caught Brian red handed. I should have known. He cheated on Chrissie with Anita. Now he was licking this woman's face.

"Roger, that's a woman with her pet poodle." John stated. "I'm confused why that's supposed to be something groundbreaking."

"T-That's not..." I squinted trying to get a better look, but the light turned to green so John had to drive away. "Are you sure that wasn't Brian?"

"Seeing is not seeing, Roger. You need your glasses. Even if you're not completely blind, you're still impaired without them." Deaky said.

"Fuck you." I mumbled, but I knew he was right.

"Hey don't feel bad about it. Lots of people are blind as bats without their glasses. Nothing to be ashamed of." He assured me.

"Easy for you to say. You have perfect vision." I sighed. "You don't go around mistaking your soulmate for trees and poodles."

John laughed and that made me feel worse. "Sorry, Rog. It's just kinda ridiculous. Y'know? And the silliest part is it's not that far fetched. Bri basically is part tree and part poodle. Don't tell him I said that."

"I love my poodle tree." I giggled. Why was I so worried about telling Brian how I was feeling? He only wanted what was best for me and elevated my happiness. I should have trusted him. It was stupid of me not to. Hopefully we could get everything sorted out at home.

***

_Brian's POV_

I wasn't sure how I ended up drunk. Apparently Freddie told Joe to slip some whiskey in my tea because I was too "on edge". Thankfully Phoebe agreed to drive me home because I knew I wasn't sober. I wouldn't call myself wasted, but this slight level of intoxication did seem to wash away my troubles. I found myself giggling on the drive back. "Of course Roggie wouldn't cheat on me. He loves me and I love him and we're gonna get married...Man am I stupid for all this second guessing."

"Never knew alcohol could make someone think more clearly. Leave it to Freddie to come up with a solution crazy enough to work. You should get drunk more often." Phoebe observed.

"The last time Freddie got me drunk I ended up in the hospital. All for a blasted badger tattoo that doesn't even look like a badger." I shuddered. "Well Rog says he likes it and that's all that matters."

We pulled up to the flat at the same time as John who was driving Roger's car for some reason. Oh no! Why was Roger in the passenger seat? Something must be wrong with me otherwise he would never pass up an opportunity to drive. Before Phoebe even put the car into park, I opened the door and stumbled out, nearly tripping. "Roger! Roger!"

"Brimi, is that really you?" He staggered over to me, and caressed my face. "Oh good, it's you! You're not a poodle or a tree this time."

"Why weren't you drivin'? Hi Deaks! How's the baby doing? Thanks for takin' care of mine." I said in one breath. I giggled again. "Get it, Roggie, 'cause you're my baby!"

"Oh my God! You're drunk!" Roger gasped. "I leave you alone for an hour and this is what happens."

"Don't blame me, blame Freddie...no don't blame him. I needed to let loose 'cause I was feeling uptight."

"That rotter Freddie!" Roger cried. "Why were you feeling uptight, love? Was it because of me?"

"I don't think I wanna tell you...Okay I'll tell you." I couldn't keep quiet when drunk. "I had this ridiculous idea that you were cheating on me. Can you believe that?"

"Me? Cheating on you? Bitch please I thought you were cheating on me!" Roger shouted. "Why would I ever even consider cheating on you when you're my whole world!"

"Why would I cheat on you when _you're _my whole world?" I reverberated.

"Hey! I asked you first!" Roger pouted.

"Well my answer is easy. You're a fucking model, that's why. Did you see all the hot people you were posing with in that picture in the magazine? You could have any of them. I thought maybe at first you didn't realize that there are people out there who are significantly better looking than me, but by now you should recognize that." I said.

"I sure hope that's just some drunken nonsense because you're just as attractive as any of those models and we know it. In fact you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life and that's not a lie. Out of all the new things I've seen over this past year, you're my favorite thing. I love looking at you. I can never get tired of just admiring the sight of your face. You're like a sexy sports car."

There was no higher compliment coming from Roger, and I knew he would only be genuine when it came to cars. "You really rank me that high on your list of sights?"

"You rank number 1 every time, no thought." Roger said, and stood up on his tiptoes to give me a kiss. "I love you more than cars. You know that, silly! And it's so much more than your good looks too. It's your soft voice, your kindness, your patience....and well your skills. Those hands aren't just good for guitar you know."

If I were sober I might not have given Roger such a blatant example, but I used my hands and squeezed his ass making him yelp in surprise but then kiss me again. "Bri!"Roger grinned, flushing a lovely shade of pink.

"I love you so much." I cooed. "Do you have any idea how breathtaking you look?"

That smile faded. "I um...I wish I could offer you more, but I don't have anything going for me outside of my pretty face. I'm not like you, Bri. I'm not smart and talented. The only thing I'm good at is modeling."

"Why are you putting yourself down like that, honey?" I wouldn't give him time to answer instead I told him what I truly thought of him beyond his angelic looks. "You're the bravest person I know. You're funny, and sweet. I just want to cuddle you all day long and make you feel good because that's what you deserve for being so damn resilient and open to being vulnerable with me."

"I-I...I don't want to be a model anymore." Roger said slowly. "I um, I've been thinking about going back to school so I can be a dentist. Do you think I'm smart enough?"

"Of course you're smart enough. I'll help you study. Make flashcards with you. Whatever you need."I told him. Truth be told I was thrilled with this decision. Since Roger was successful at modeling I didn't try to stop him but I prefer he go down this path so long as he was happy.

Knowing Roger's upbringing, I needed to stress something to him. "Roger, you're a free man. You don't need my permission or anyone else's if you want to pursue something. Okay?" It would likely take years to reinforce Roger's newfound independence after spending years being held back by his abusive father, over protective mother, and society looking down upon him for his blindness. I would continue to prove to him his own potential until it finally became ingrained. "I love you." I whispered, leaning down for another sweet kiss. It still amazed me that he kissed back and actively wanted me. "I love you too." Roger beamed, making my heart flutter.

"Are you sure I'm not too tall?" I asked, still leaning down so Roger could easily reach my lips.

Roger shook his head. "You're perfect, Brimi, absolutely perfect." He kissed me again. "Are you sure I'm not too small?"

"No." I told him. "You're perfect, Roggie, absolutely perfect." 


	38. The Night Comes Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's almost wedding day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy July-AKA Maylor Month! I need sleep (and probably a Xanax) but I present you with a new chapter. Disney and Tangled fans this one's for you!

_Roger's POV_

T-minus 20 hours till my wedding. Was I starting to get cold feet? No, I was really excited about it. 

Still, for the past few nights I'd been having some variation of my traditional nightmare. Either I'm walking down the aisle and suddenly it all goes black, or Brian and I are meeting in the chapel again only when he kisses me for the first time, I still can't see a thing. Bottom line was these dreams typically involved me going (or in the latter staying) blind again only to have Brian leave me. I shrugged them off knowing they were stupid, but they didn't cease.

"Roger May." Brian's voice distracted me. He looked to me with arms stretched open as he lay in bed. "Come to bed, baby. It's late."

"Roger May is gonna take some getting used to." I murmured, walking over to where he was curled on under the covers looking so cute and sleepy. '_Yes' _I thought to myself as I pulled a blanket over Brian's yawning form, trying and failing to get his long legs covered. _This is the angel I'm marrying tomorrow.' _I kissed his cheek.

"My husband." I purred.

Brian grinned, struggling to keep his tired eyes open. "Get some sleep, love. Obviously we have a big day tomorrow." He said.

"How can I sleep? I'm too excited. And I don't want to have another nightmare." I told him.

"Maybe the nightmares mean something." Brian yawned. "It's not too late for you to sleep over at your Mom's house tonight. I know you don't believe in the superstition that it's bad luck seeing each other the day of the wedding, but it might help put you at ease and let you sleep better."

"How can it be bad luck to wake up in the morning and see my handsome groom on my wedding day? I told you Bri, seeing in general is good luck. And I won't be able to sleep without my big spoon. I've gotten so used to being in your arms."

"It's just one night, Roger. Then we can spend every night together again as married men." Brian gave me a kiss. "But I have a feeling you're going to keep me up all night chatting when we both need a good night's sleep. So either shut your eyes and count sheep or go to your mother's."

"Fine." I huffed. I shut my eyes. Count sheep. I could do that. I imagined a sheep...white with black spots like a fat horse. No that was a cow. Damn it!

"Bri!" I was met with a snore. "Brian, wake up! You need to tell me what sheep look like. I don't think I've ever seen one before. How can I count them if I can't picture them?"

"Go to sleep, Roger!" He grumbled.

Once again I shut my eyes and tried to lull myself to sleep. _'Roger May'_ I wasn't used to it, but it sure sounded nice. I would have to get my drivers' license changed. Wait. I was applying to dental school as Roger Taylor. Would admissions get my file mixed up?

There was a knock on the door, preventing me from trying to sleep. "I'm gonna go answer it." I said and Brian replied back with an incoherent slur in his slumber.

I wasn't sure who would visit us this late, let alone the night before our wedding, but I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by Clare. "Oh hi Clare! Wanna come in?"

"Look, Roger, I know you're convinced that it's not bad luck to see your groom on your wedding day, but I'm not letting you jinx your happily ever after. So I'm here to kidnap you so you don't see Brian until you walk down the aisle tomorrow." She said assertively with a hand on her hip.

I rolled my eyes, tempted to slam the door in her face. I couldn't do that because it was Clare. "It's fine, Clare. I don't need to sleep over at Mom's tonight. I appreciate the concern, but I don't think there's a problem in seeing Brian tomorrow."

"We have left over meat lovers' pizza in the freezer. Wanna heat it up and have a midnight snack and watch Disney Plus with me? I have William's password." Clare bribed.

"Meat lovers', you say?" I was sold. Living with Brian I hadn't had real food in forever. "Okay. I'm in. Let me just tell Bri that I'm leaving for the night so he doesn't wake up and think I bailed on him."

I went back upstairs where Brian was sound asleep again. I gave him a nudge. "Brimi!" I hissed. "Roger, please go to sleep!" He whined.

"I'm going to my Mom's house. Okay?" I whispered.

"Okay...I'll *yawn* see you *yawn* tomorrow...*yawn*."

"Yes, I will _see _you tomorrow." I squealed. Unless of course my nightmare came true and I lost my sight again. No, I didn't want to worry about that.

***

"So how are you feeling?" Clare asked as she put the slices of the pizza into the microwave. "Anxious? Excited? Scared?"

"Um...all of the above." I admitted. "Looking back, I never really thought this day would come, but I've been envisioning it nonstop since I met Brian. Now that it's here, it's almost surreal. Not too long ago I was convinced I'd never find love, and now I can't imagine my life without him."

"I always knew you'd find somebody to love. You just didn't believe me. Don't you look foolish now." Clare giggled.

"Yeah I should listen to you more often, sis. One day you'll find the love of your life too." I told her.

"Really?" Clare asked skeptically.

"I know it'll happen just like you knew it would happen for me." I assured her. "You certainly deserve a soulmate more than me."

"Oh Roger don't say that!" Clare cried. "You deserve love just as much as anybody else and you should be happy. I'm so glad you found Brian."

"Yeah." I said as I took the hot pizza from the microwave. "I'm glad I found him too." I made the mistake of biting a slice of pizza. "Ow! Fuck! It's too hot!"

Clare laughed. "You're still the same you, new eyes and new lover withstanding." She waited for her slice to cool down before taking a bite. Clever Clare made me envious sometimes.

"Remember that summer when you found a baby bird that fell from the nest?" She sighed out of nowhere. "I never would have seen it in there in the grass, but out of the blue you shouted 'Clare don't move!' and fumbled to pick it up."

"I heard it tweeting." I recalled.

"Then you took it onto yourself to climb the tree and find the nest to put it back." She recounted.

"Only to fall from the tree and spend the rest of the summer with my leg in a cast." I summed up. "What's your point?"

"That baby bird wouldn't have survived on the ground for very long because it was still too small to learn how to fly. You saved it. Even though you couldn't even see it, and you got hurt because of it, you still decided that the bird needed your help. My point is you have a heart of gold, Roger, so you of all people definitely deserve love and happiness." Clare explained. "And if Michael tells you otherwise, screw him 'cause he's in jail anyway and isn't worth our time."

I needed to hear that. Hopefully it would offset those nightmares. "Thanks, Clare." I said, taking another careful bite of pizza.

"Of course." She replied. "Remember, Roggie, even though you're all grown up and getting married and seeing everything, you can still come to me if you ever need to talk. I miss having you around."

"I'm still here, Clare." I reminded her.

"I know. I just don't get to be with you as often since you moved out." She pouted. "Anyway, let's go watch a movie. Did I tell you I have William's password for Disney Plus?"

The volume on the Telly was kept low so we wouldn't wake up Mom and William. Unlike Brian, Clare didn't have any intentions on going to bed early or sleeping at all. I guess she was just as anxious as me. So that was how I found myself wide awake watching Tangled at 2:39 in the morning. This was my first time physically watching the movie without audio aids, but I was familiar with the soundtrack thanks to Clare's habit of belting Disney medleys at the top of her lungs well into high school. She still continued to do it at random but not as frequently as when we were young.

Tangled was never a favorite of mine (but then again I was never really into movies in general). My dream was always the same as Rapunzel_'s, _one of the reoccurring themes of the movie: to see the lights. Her, for lack of a better term, blind optimism usually had me rooting for Gothel by the end. Call me a cynic but my dream never came true. For every time I "watched" the movie while stuck in the dark, I became more convinced that Gothel was right to tell Rapunzel that the world was a fucked up place that would eat her alive and didn't give a shit about her dreams. Of course the princess ends up successful in her plight and finally sees the lanterns light up the night sky.By the end her new dream is to share her life with Eugene.Meanwhile I only hear Rapunzel crying over her dead boyfriend with magical tears or whatever, and all I can think about is how my first dream never came true. I couldn't see the light.

Now I watched the movie in its entirety with functioning eyes for the first time. My perspective completely shifted. Rapunzel was naive but she fought for what she believed in and wouldn't let Gothel's lies hold her back from being content for the first time in her life. She was finally free and could see the world that she was shielded from for 18 years. Her dream was to see the lights, but Eugene turned out to be her light.

..._And at last I see the light_  
_And it's like the fog has lifted_  
_And at last I see the light_  
_And it's like the sky is new_  
_And it's warm and real and bright_  
_And the world has somehow shifted_  
_All at once everything looks different_  
_Now that I see you..._

I held back my tears, hoping Clare wouldn't notice me pathetically sniffling. I was a grown man and a fucking cartoon was giving me all the feels.

"Happy tears?" She smiled.

"Y-Yeah." I choked, wetness streaming down my cheeks. "I'm marrying my light, my dream."

"You act tough but we all know you're a big softie." Clare remarked but her eyes were welling up too.

I did manage to get some sleep that night much to my surprise. I wasn't sure what time it was but eventually I passed out on the couch.

_I tapped my feet along with the rhythm of my racing heart pumping loud as a drum with anxiety._

_"You ready for the adventure of a lifetime, my little race car driver?" Uncle Clem patted me on the back. "Not so little anymore I suppose. I'm about to give you away."_

_The sound of violins playing Here Comes the Bride could be heard muffled behind the doors. "Brimi's waiting for me on the other side at the altar?" I asked fidgeting with my cufflinks nervously._

_"He certainly is. Let's go see him." Uncle Clem linked our arms. We walked forward almost in slow motion._

_I had been through this nightmare so many times I knew what to expect at this point. Perhaps it was a lucid dream because I was all to aware of what was about to happen..._

_The doors swung open and that was it. My vision was gone. I was back in that darkness, unable to see a thing. Uncle Clem guided me forward but I was walking toward nothing. I stumbled as we came to an abrupt halt. "Watch your step." He said._

_"I can't watch it! I can't see!" I cried._

_There was a gasp from the audience and the violins stopped playing. Oh God! This was it. I waited for the worst part of this reoccurring nightmare, yes even worse than returning to this darkness. At this point I'd hear Brian's voice as he called off the wedding, proclaiming that he would never marry a blind man. He was going to tell me that I was enough of a burden with my sight and he couldn't imagine putting up with me now. It was only a matter of time._

_"Roger." That was Brian's voice, soft and gentle as usual. "You said yourself this is a lucid dream. If you want me to tell you that I don't love you I'll do it, but you don't want that. So please stop this game. Let yourself be happy for once. I really do love you unconditionally and would never marry you out of pity or whatever bullshit I usually say in these dreams. You know it's all lies. You're just tormenting yourself. Free yourself, Roger. You're the only one who can fight these inner demons."_

My eyes fluttered open and I was graced with sight again. That dream went differently than I expected.

"Roger, honey, I'm making you your favorite breakfast: chocolate chip pancakes." Mom chirped on her way to the kitchen. She ruffled my hair affectionately. "Only the very best for my baby boy on his special day."

That's right! Today was my wedding day!! Lucid dream Brian was right; it was time to break free from my insecurities and welcome my happiness. I was ready Freddie to marry the love of my life!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was short and cluttered but it's better than nothing. Next chapter is the Maylor wedding!


	39. 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's wedding time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it to chapter 39 hooraay!! It's Maylor wedding time! Happy 4th of July everybody!!

_Roger's POV_

We had mostly everything planned out to the dot. The one thing that was left in the lap of the Gods were our suits. Freddie insisted he take care of the wardrobe. Brian was skeptical of course, but I figured someone would have an emergency back up suit available if Freddie offered something too outrageous. He had us measured for a fitting weeks ago, so I wasn't concerned.

As I waited for Freddie to arrive with my "something new" suitfor me to change into, I looked at myself in the mirror. Thanks to Jim, my unruly blonde tresses were smoothed. I stared back at my own fearful blue eyes. There was no reason for any apprehension. Today was the perfect day. Being able to see my reflection was an added bonus. I touched the cold glass recalling a time when the only perception I had of myself was the touch of this flat surface.

"Knock, knock, who's there, it's your fairy godmother with your suit!" Freddie sang as he entered the room, holding something behind his back. "Brian already tried his on and it's perfect as expected. So now it's your turn, darling.Close your eyes so I can surprise you."

I shook my head. "I'm not closing my eyes, Fred. Not today."

"Fine. Have it your way, you tart!" Freddie unveiled the suit in a less dramatic fashion. I gasped. Instead of the classic black and white, it was a lovely shade of hazel, identical to Brian's eyes. "It's beautiful!" I gaped.

"Try it on, darling! I doubt it'll need any last minute adjustments but we want to make sure." Freddie urged.

"Alright." I turned my back to Freddie as I changed into the suit. It was a perfect fit. A little tight but not at all uncomfortable. Plus it showed off my figure.I twisted awkwardly trying to catch a glimpse of my ass in the mirror as the pants hugged my hips, emphasizing that general area. Brian was going to love this! "It's perfect!" I squealed. "It's Pierre Cardin." I noticed.

"Magnificent!" Freddie applauded. "A work of art!"

"The bouquet you'll be holding is something borrowed from Jim." Freddie explained. "Do you have something old?"

I rolled the sleeve of my new hazel suit revealing my old Braille watch on my wrist. "I still need something blue."

"Your eyes will suffice."Freddie reasoned.

"They also count as something new don't they?" I pondered. My working eyes were officially a year old today, so they were still pretty new. "Of course I love the suit too. It reminds me of Brimi." I expressed as I looked down at the color shade.

"I knew you'd love it! Are you excited, darling? I bet you're bursting with jubilation!"

"I'm eager, but I'm also a bundle of nerves." I admitted.

"That's natural. You'll be fine, dear. Trust me. Getting married doesn't end your life. It starts your life anew." Freddie assured me.

Unlike Freddie who verbally knocked, this next guest was more respectful. "Come in!" I called to the knocker. It was Deaky.

"Wow Rog! You look great! I'm just dropping in to see how you're doing." He said.

"Jittery." I told him.

"Yeah that makes sense. Sometimes when I get overwhelmed I write some of my feelings down. Maybe that'll help calm you down?" John suggested.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea." I never kept a diary or journal, but it made sense as an emotional outlet. Why not give it a try?

Freddie presented me with pen and paper. I found it hard to express my thoughts into written words because there were so many emotions I was experiencing right now. Fear of that reoccurring nightmare coming true, reflection on where I had been this time last year and how far I'd come, excitement to see Brian and hear the words "you may kiss the groom", and of course my unwavering love for my soon to be husband. It was a lot. I ended up drafting a letter to Brian because that felt the most natural.

_Brian's POV_

Something old: my clogs, something new: my suit, something borrowed: the white nail polish from Freddie, and something blue: well according to Freddie the boy walking down the aisle was my blue. No, my blue suit didn't count as both; it was only something new.

I had to hand it to Freddie. Our wedding was already turning out beautifully. My ocean blue Pierre Cardin suit was the perfect shade matching Roger's eyes. I regretted doubting Freddie's judgement. This outfit wasn't flamboyant at all, and it was so comfortable. What a relief! An itchy or poorly fit suit was not something I wanted to worry about in addition to my nerves threatening to damper this special day.

I took a deep breath. "Roger loves you. There's no reason to be scared." I told myself.

"I'm baaaacck!" Freddie sang as he barged into the room without knocking again. "I have something for you, darling. Here. This is from Roger." He handed me a folded piece of paper. I recognized the understandably rudimentary handwriting of Roger.

_Hi Bri. I'm freaking out right now. I hope you're holding it together better than me. Deaky said writing down my thoughts would help. Now I remember how significant_ _it is that I'm using and understanding the Roman alphabet._

"Silly Rog it's the Latin alphabet." I chuckled but continued to read.

_Remember when I took those classes to learn how to read and write in more than just Braille?_ _I still have the notebook with the first full sentence I ever wrote: This is because of Brian May. And it was because of you as much as you like to downplay it._

_Without you, I wouldn't be able to see the world and find my independence. So I just wanna say thank you for everything. Thank you for loving me, thank you for believing in me, and thank you for making me happy._

_I'm still scared as hell that part of my nightmare will come true today. There's that underlying fear that when I walk through the doors to see you at the altar, my eyes will fail me again._

_But then there's the second part of that nightmare, the even scarier moment is when you reject me. I know that next part won't happen and I think I've finally come to peace with that. Blind or not you'll always be there for me and it makes me love you even more._

_See you soon, babe!_

When Roger used phrases like "see you soon" it meant more than a mere frivolous expression. His eyes were a gift, but I was glad he was beginning to accept that I loved him for more than his sight. I held Roger's note close to my heart and felt at ease. Honestly I wasn't sure how he'd be able to outdo himself with his wedding vows. Then again my future husband was just full of surprises.

"It's time now, darling." Freddie announced. He took my hand and squeezed it. "My big little brother. It'll be my honor to give you away."

I tried to keep my composure. I had given Freddie away at his wedding so we agreed that he'd give me away and act as my best man. I gave him a hug.

"I'm ready Freddie." I said, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach. Obviously they were a figment of my imagination because as a vegan there wouldn't be any sort of fluttering in my tummy. Mind over matter. Soon I'd be with my Roger. I couldn't wait for our honeymoon, long away in Paris just the two of us.

For now, I let Freddie guide me to the altar where I waited for my beloved to arrive. I felt awkward standing in front of so many people without a guitar or anything to really do except stare ahead and wait...

***

_Roger's POV_

_"_Please don't cry, Mom! It's a happy day, remember?"I gave her a consoling hug as her mascara smeared. The wedding hadn't started yet but she was already bawling.

"I-I just can't believe you're getting married...I remember when I first held you...When you first called me Mama...so small and innocent...a-and now..."

"And now he's not that baby boy anymore. He's all grown up and getting married." Clare said as she spun around in her princess gown. Was she too old to be a flower girl? Yes. Did anyone care? No.

"Never thought I'd see this day!" Uncle Clem arrived just in time. "But I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

"I never thought I'd see this day either...literally." I remarked.

Deaky approached our congregation out in the hall. "It's time." He announced and I could hear the music beginning to play.

Clare and Mom entered followed by Deaky and Veronica. Then the music shifted to Here Comes the Bride. This was it.

"What do you say, my little race car driver, are you ready for me to give you away?" Uncle Clem beamed.

I gave him a hug. "Thank you, Dad." I whispered.

"You've always been more of a son than a nephew to me. I hope you know that, Rog." He hugged me back just as tight.

My heart raced as we trudged forward. I chickened out at the last minute, unable to face the possibility of darkness behind that door. I just closed my eyes. It made no sense but I'd rather see nothing on my own terms. Yeah I know I said I wouldn't be closing my eyes today, but now I felt more comfortable.

"His eyes are closed, why are his eyes closed?" I heard a posh voice hiss among some other whispers in the crowd. I ignored them and continued to trail, relying on Uncle Clem so I wouldn't stumble or trip.

"Roger, would it kill you to open those pretty eyes?" Uncle Clem muttered as he motioned me to stop.

It wouldn't kill me per say, but I'd be devastated if I opened my eyes and the darkness prevailed. This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life and I wouldn't risk going blind again to ruin it even if it meant keeping my eyes shut. Logic isn't my strongest suit but the reasoning made sense to me. I shook my head.

"Alright then," Uncle Clem accepted, "watch your step."

The touch of a very familiar hand helped up onto the altar. "You take good care of my boy, Brian. Even when he's being an idiot and missing his wedding by keeping his eyes shut,I expect you to still treat him like a prince. You got that?" Uncle Clem insisted.

"I'll treat him like a king." Brian replied. There was a pause and even though I couldn't see, I could somehow sense Brian looking me up down. "Hazel." He stated.

Huh? I opened my eyes by mistake, forgetting for a moment that I was wearing a hazel suit. My heart melted into a puddle when I saw Brian standing before, tall and handsome as ever with his beautiful springs of curls dangling from his head. "Blue." I acknowledged the color of his suit which perfectly showed off his lovely long legs. I reached up and touched his face, just to make sure that what I was seeing was really there. Yes, Brian was right in front of me.

"Dearly beloved," Reverend Berger began, "we are gathered here today..."

I found out from Mary that deaf people, like her father, could read lips. Brian thankfully wasn't deaf, but I looked up to him and mouthed "Hazel" hoping he'd understand. He smiled and silently replied "Blue".

"...And I don't believe I'm the best person to express this wonderful love story when we can hear from the grooms themselves who have written their own vows." Reverend Berger announced. "Brian, if you may..."

"He is May!" Freddie snickered. "Sorry, not the time! Carry on, darlings."

"Right..." Brian looked down at me and took my hands. "My Roger."He smiled. "Exactly one year ago, we stood in a chapel like this one. But I think my vows should start a few months before that. I was at my lowest point, suffering from hepatitis in the hospital, far away from home, and a little bit high on pain meds. In other words I was completely miserable. Then I made a phone call that would change my life. I meant to call my brother, John, but instead Roger picked up. I wasn't doing well, but somehow just talking to this complete stranger was more effective than the pain meds. Before I knew it, I had fallen for this voice on the phone. We called each other nightly, talking for hours and singing each other to sleep. I never felt so giddy when Roger would ring even though we never met and I hadn't a clue what he looked like. I preferred it that way in the beginning so Roger wouldn't feel left out. Roger was blind, so he would know nothing but a voice. It broke my heart that this sweet, brave man would never see me in person. But I made a vow then and I'm just adding to it now. I vowed that when the day came and we met in person and touched, I would tell him if I saw color, otherwise he would have no way of knowing that we were soulmates. And if we were soulmates, I would love him. I knew it wouldn't be easy having a blind partner, but I didn't care, my heart wanted Roger and I was determined to make it work. It wasn't fair that Roger resembled a real life angel and he would never see himself. Or at least that was what we believed. When we finally met in person, we witnessed a miracle that I'll never forget for as long as I live. I realized we were soulmates because I could see in color, but Roger was stunned to open his eyes and see the world for the very first time after being blind for 22 years. That was a year ago, and in the 365 days following I've been there by Roger's side amazed at how gracefully he's been in adjusting to a new world full of color. Now we're facing another change in our lives and I know we're both ready for it. Roger, I couldn't be more excited to continue this journey with you always with me. I promise to always love you."

"I love you too." I sniffled. I would get through my vows without choking up or crying damn it!****

I looked directly up at Brian, still holding our hands as I spoke. "This year has been surreal. I can't even begin to tell you how crazy it's been. I don't remember seeing light before I met you. I was too young to have memories of vision. Since opening my eyes and seeing you on that fateful day one year ago, I haven't been able to believe my own eyes. There's so many things for me to explore. Over the past year I've seen my own reflection, cars, sunshine, cherry blossom trees, raccoons, snow, rain, a clown, and the ocean, to name a few. Each new thing has blown my mind. I know that there's still so much more out there for me to see. Seeing new stuff would be great, but as spectacular as all the new sightsare, you'll always be my favorite, Brian. All else fails in comparison. Your face will always be the sweetest sight ever seen. I know I have a lot more to learn and I'm not perfect, but that's okay because you've been by my side to help me and lift me up when I'm feeling down. The highlight of this year hasn't been my new eyes, but it's been my new love. You're the most important thing to me, Brian, and I love you so much it hurts. You make me want to live up to my fullest potential so you'll be proud of me. I can realize my full potential and what I'm capable of when you're here to encourage me. I'm so excited to continue to grow with you and build my life with you."

I blink back my tears. "S-Sorry...c-can't say anymore without crying." I tried to wipe my tears away so I could get a clear view of Brian's smile. "Love you, Brimi." I murmured.

"If anyone has any reason why Brian and Roger should not be married, please speak now or forever hold your peace." Reverend Berger remarked.

I held my breath. Part of me expected Michael to burst in and object, but all was quiet.

"Very well. Brian, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."Brian firmly squeezed my hands, our gazes intently locked.

"And Roger**—**"

"**—**I do!" I blurted. A small chuckle broke out in the crowd.

"Hang on. I know you're eager. But let me finish."Reverend Berger said patiently. "Roger, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." I repeated.

"Then by the power invested in me from this holy church I now pronounce you married! You may kiss the groom!" The Reverend announced.

Holy shit! Brian leaned down and and captured my lips and everybody cheered. I felt like I was floating on a cloud. My cheeks hurt I was smiling so widely as we walked back down the aisle hand in hand. Did that really just happen?

"We did it!" Brian squealed. "We're married!"

As the wedding guests filed out of the chapel for cocktails and appetizers, Brian shamelessly picked me up and spun me around in the air like I was a little kid. I enjoyed being held and cuddled of course and Brian was usually compliant in my wishes, but he was never this adamant about partaking these kinds of gestures in public. Normally it would take some cajoling on my part. I was enjoying married life already.

"Are you happy, love?" He asked.

"Never happier." I replied.

That was the last moment to ourselves we got before the photographers whisked us away for pictures. Group pictures, pictures with our family, pictures of us alone, pictures of us posing together. So many pictures. I was smiling from ear to ear in all of them. I truly couldn't stop.

"Okay Roger for this photo why don't you put your arms around your husband?"

_My husband. _I have a husband. Brian is my husband. It still hadn't all clicked yet and was overwhelming.

"Brian, we'll need you to stand behind your husband for this picture since you're taller."

I looked back at _my husband _and he shared the same disoriented expression, a mix of love and denial. It was all so new but we'd embrace it soon enough. The cameras flashed and the moment was captured.

It became more solidified when we walked together onto the dance floor and the band announced "Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever we present to you, Dr. and Mr. May!"

If I got my dental degree, we'd be Dr. and Dr. May, and unstoppable power couple! For now I tried to wrap my head around being Mr. May. I would have to ask Jim Mercury or Veronica Deacon if they ever got used to it.

_"It's a little bit funny, this feelin' inside...."_

I rest my head against Brian's chest as we slow danced somewhat awkwardly, but I didn't care. It was nice. Definitely romantic. We gently swayed with the rhythm of the Elton John song, trying not to stumble. 

_"...So excuse me forgettin', but these things I do_

_You see, I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue_  
Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean  
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen..."

"I love you." Brian whispered.

"Love you too." I cooed.

It was a magical night full of dancing, drinking, and speech making. I couldn't have been having a greater time, being tossed from conga line to conga line, hugged and congratulated by so many people it all became a blur, and of course enjoying the delicious buffet while avoiding the vegan section like the plague. We decided to have a buffet so that no one would worry about allergies or dietary needs and just take whatever they wanted. It worked out well. Brian got his veggies and I got my steak. The first compromise of our marriage was a success! 

The cake was vegan, but that was only so Brian could partake in the tradition of sharing the first slice with his groom. Polite couples neatly fork feed each other. Fuck that. When I got the slice, I took the plate and smeared it onto Brian's face. Freddie said that his one regret at his wedding was not doing that to Jim, so I figured I might as well live life on the razor's edge with no regrets. 

"Roger you twat!" Brian laughed. He took another slice and did the same to me, and suddenly my face was covered in frosting. "You son of a bitch!" I snickered, smashing our lips together forcefully for a deep kiss. Soon we licked the mess away. 

"It wasn't vegan." I stated once we were clean. Brian playfully pushed me. "Don't joke like that. I know it was." "_My _meat isn't vegan." I teased. "Sometimes we have to give into temptation." Brian replied. 

We were a little bit drunk so we failed to realize that the wedding photographers were also making a video and happened to record that conversation. Now it would be forever included in our wedding video for all of our family and future children to watch. No regrets. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAA!!! They're married!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter it was a fun one! The next chapter will begin the next stage of this story and will take place 2 or 3 years later. A certain someone will be entering the story soon and if you've read the one shots you probably know who I'm talking about. Hint: Her name was mentioned a few times in this chapter. 
> 
> Anyway Happy Independence Day everybody! I know America is very far from perfect, but we're celebrating the anniversary of the Declaration of Independence so that we can live up to the ideology that all men (and women) are created equal and endowed with inalienable rights: life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. I know we're not entirely there yet, but 4th of July is about remembering those principles and hoping to someday reach an America that honors those values for EVERYONE. This year we'll all be celebrating a little bit differently because of COVID so I hope everyone stays safe and uses common sense while still having fun!


	40. I'm Going Slightly Mad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger no longer wants to be a dentist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're a dentist or orthodontist please don't take offense from this chapter. I don't want to upset anybody. So don't take it personally and carry on!

_2_ _ years later..._

_Roger's POV_

Growing up my dream was to either become a dentist or a drummer in a rock and roll band (or both). Now I was almost halfway done with dental school, and I came to a conclusion. I did not want to be a dull dentist. I started in a clinic where I shadowed Dr. Crown (yes that's his real name), a pediatric dentist. I requested to get a pediatric rotation because I first fell in love with dentistry as a child.

Going to the dentist's office was always a treat for me because my dentist, who was long retired now, had a wonderful bedside_—_or should I say chairside manner. At least with me he did. He would let me touch the tools he would use before sterilizing them and beginning the procedures and he would explain to me exactly what he was doing to me and why he was doing it. He was patient and kind and treated me with respect despite my disability. Since I knew exactly what was happening as he verbally told me what to expect, being in that chair was one of the few times I felt in control. Plus at the end the secretary would always give me a sugar free lollipop. Did I mention the waiting room had Braille magazines, some featuring cars? Yeah I was always eager to go to the dentist unlike most people who dread it.

Then I got my sight back, and things got very different very fast.For one thing I love seeing people smile. I never knew that people's smiles could be unique and that made their appearances even more special. Teeth come in all different shapes and sizes. Some have a gap like Deaky or overbites like Freddie. All smiles are a wonderful sight regardless.

Dentistry is linked to the work of orthodontists. I made the mistake of say the "o" word in front of Freddie one day and it wasn't pretty...

"Yeah everyone's been nice in my classes. One girl who's a year ahead even offered to share her notes but I think she just wants to recruit me for the orthodontist track which would require an extra year. But I don't know if I wanna be an ortho_—"_

"_—_If you become one of those torture artists then you are dead to me, darling." Freddie stated casually. "Brian, dear, please pass the salt."

"What's wrong with being an orthodontist?" I blurted.

"They profit off of making people like me feel imperfect and try to scare us into changing ourselves and that could have dire consequences." Freddie cautiously took a sip from his teacup, holding it up like a prop to cover his teeth. I felt like a jackass.

Besides the issue of braces and supposedly imperfect smiles, something didn't feel right when I entered a dentist office now blessed with sight. Before it gave me a warm feeling, but now those sharp tools that I only knew by touch appeared so sinister. The chairs were ominous as well with a bright light pointing directly at you. Who wanted that uncomfortable symbol of doom as you stared up at all these drills and scalpels going into your mouth? Of course you'd wanna shudder.

In the dark, I could easily focus on car magazines in the waiting room. Now there was nothing that could distract me from the apprehension on the victims'—I mean patients' faces as they waited for me to call them to their doom. Watching children squirm in discomfort as they were treated by Dr. Crown was not fun at all. The only thing I seemed to be good at was cheering the kids up after the ordeal with a hug and a sugar free lollipop. Although many of them complained they were too sore to enjoy their treat at the end. The few kids who left in tears broke my heart.

The dentist office proved to be more like a haunted house on Halloween than an ideal work environment. I feared that if I carried on with this career path I'd become numb (pun intended) to the point that I resembled Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors. Okay he was an over the top sadist but I wasn't far off.

"Here's a lollipop and your very own toothbrush." I presented the little boy who just had a cleaning. "Remember to brush your teeth and make 'em sparkle so everyone can see your big smile!"

The boy surprised me by giving me a big hug. On his way out I heard him tell his Mom "I wanna be a dentist when I grow up and tell everybody to brush their teeth and make sparkly smiles!"  
Maybe this job wasn't so bad after all.

I finished adding the notes into the margins of the chart and showed them to Dr. Crown for approval before transferring them to the secretary.

"You do good work here, Taylor." Dr. Crown approved. "On the days you're not in the patients ask for you. You're know how to make kids feel special. Do you have any children of your own?"

"Me? No. I have a nephew and a niece. They're super cute and I babysit frequently. My husband and I are looking into adoption in the future but now is not the best time since I still have 2 more years of school left." I explained.

"Well you'd make a great Dad. Take it from a man who has four kids of his own." He said as he prepared the chair for his next patient. "Oh and by the way can you give me the email of your program director. I wanna request that you do another rotation here next semester. You're much too valuable to be shipped off to another clinic. You're an asset to us."

After such a glowing recommendation I wasn't sure if I could turn him down and admit that this wasn't as fulfilling as I dreamed it would be. Besides what would I do with my life if I quit? I'd just be known as a failure. Why couldn't I simply be happy? I had everything I ever wanted: eyes that worked, a loving husband and family, a developing career. What was I missing? Was it the dentistry that was making me feel empty inside or was I lost in general?

_'Stop pondering all this bullshit!' _I scolded myself. _'I'm going slightly mad and creating problems where none exist. So I should just shut up and embrace my perfect life!'_

***

Things I learned from living with Brian: it is impossible to fuck up salad. Lettuce, croutons, chopped veggies, vegan dressing. I had the meal prepared within 15 minutes, a new record! It was ready to go when Brian arrived home from work.

"Hey, Rog. Mmm. That looks good." He kissed my cheek. "How was class today?"

"I--"

"--Oh wait. Today is Tuesday, a rotation day. You didn't go to class." Brian recognized. "Forgive me. I knew that. How was the clinic?"

Brian could be pretty absent minded sometimes so I appreciated it when he remembered things about me like my confusing schedule. "It was good." I replied. "How was your day?"

Brian spent the next hour telling me all about asteroids and he was definitely passionate about the subject. I wish I was able to light up that way when I discussed having to pull a girl's tooth. Dr. Crown loved me and so did the patients, but in my heart I felt lost. I wasn't like Brian where i knew for sure that I wanted this. He was so lucky he found two fields he was equally enamored with: space and animal activism.

"I did it again didn't I?" Brian blurted.

"Hmm?"

"I doubt you wanna spend all night hearing me talk about asteroids." He recognized. "Anything interesting happen to you at Dr. Crown's office today?"

"You know you could never bore me, Bri." I stated. "My work isn't as exciting as space anyway. I think the most interesting thing that happened was Dr. Crown telling me I'd be a good Dad someday and that has nothing to do with being a dentist."

"I agree with him on that. You're gonna be an awesome Dad in the future." Brian said.

"You too. You'll be better than me." I told him.

"No I won't. You'll be great when the time comes. Just as good as me if not better." He speculated. "Of course we have plenty of time to prepare. You still have two years left of dental school so now is not the best time to have a baby."

"Yeah." I sighed. "About that..."

**Freddie**😸: _Threat level Ay-Oh!_

"What do you think happened this time? Fashion emergency?" I quipped.

**Freddie**😸: _It's Azalea! SOS! I failed as a parent!!_😰😰

"Shit! That sounds serious!" I cried.

"Yeah. We better go make sure they're alright." Brian agreed.

***

When we arrived at Garden Lodge, Deaky was already there comforting Freddie. Robert was crawling around by his father's feet. Meanwhile, Jim had Azalea on his lap. The baby appeared perfectly fine, curled up in a little ball being cute as can be. She purred softly like a cat.

"Freddie, this is how little kids behave." John said. "You didn't break your daughter. She's just being a playful baby."

"What happened?" Brian asked. "Is everybody okay?"

Jim just laughed. "Azalea's being too cute for Freddie to handle." The sweet girl on his lap opened her eyes. "Meow." She cooed.

"That is not normal!" Freddie cried.

Jim rolled his eyes. "Freddie told her she could be anything she wanted and now she thinks she's a cat. Normal kiddy imagination at work. Sorry if he alarmed you."

"That's normal?" I questioned.

"Freddie surrounds her with cats and Hello Kitty products all day." Jim shrugged. "So what do you expect?"

"Oh no, darling, don't blame this on me! If I did break our daughter, then you're partially to blame for not stopping me."Freddie exclaimed.

Azalea scrambled off of Jim's lap. "Meow!" She said.

"Honey use your words." Jim said somewhat sternly.

"Azalea can be a kitty so I wanna be a doggie." Robert announced. "Woof! Woof!"

"Meow." Azalea replied. The two barked and mewled at each other in a way that only made sense to them.

"You still wanna have kids someday?" Deaky asked snidely.

"Eventually." Brian said.

"Veronica already wants another one." Deaky remarked.

I wasn't sure why but I felt a twinge of envy. Deaky was already discussing baby #2 and Brian continued to put off our first child. Or maybe I was the one delaying it because I was trying to find myself in my career. I never thought having a kid would be as fulfilling as working. The more I thought about it the more I realized that what I was missing in my life wasn't some boring office job or pulling teeth, it was having a baby. I'd rather devote the next 18 years to raising a child than being a dentist. I wish I had reached this conclusion 2 years earlier before I started dental school and realized how miserable I was.

"She even picked out new baby names." John went on. "Laura for a girl Michael for a boy."

I cringed. "I hate that name."

"Sorry Rog. Ronnie is boss. She has the final say in baby names because she's doing all the hard work carrying for 9 months. All I have to do is not misfire." Deaky said.

"So baby creampuff the second won't be named Freddie Jr?" Freddie sighed.

"Afraid not, Fred." John replied.

"That's a shame," Freddie shook his head, "but I suppose it's for the best. I have some big shoes to fill and I wouldn't want that baby to feel pressured to live up to my legac—Azalea no! We poop on the potty not in the litter box! The litter box is for the cats!"

"I got her!" Jim ran to the litter box and picked up Azalea, rushing her to the bathroom.

Deaky laughed. "We're still working on potty training this one." He nudged Robert. "Slow but steady progress. You're a big boy growing up out of those nappies, right Robert?"

"I'm a big boy!" He proclaimed.

"My daughter thinks she's a cat. How could I fuck up this badly? She's only two and I probably messed her up for the rest of her life." Freddie lamented.

"She's just playing pretend. How long has she kept up the act?" Brian wondered.

"39 minutes."

"That's not very long. No reason to freak out." I assured him.

"That's enough time to get married and divorced." Freddie pointed out.

"Alright, there you go, nice and clean." Jim carried Azalea back into the room. "So, honey, remember that you go to the potty next time."

"Meow." Azalea replied. She stumbled over to Oscar and gave him a pet. Freddie cooed, "I can't be mad at you darling, you're so cute. Aaah! Parenting is hard!" 

"Aye, but it's so rewarding." Jim said. "Come here, sweet kitty, do you want me to put ribbons in your hair?"

"Ooooh. Yes! She is going to look so adorable!" Freddie proclaimed. "You are the best, Jim! How about we take advantage of Azalea's next nap?"

Azalea purred as Jim brushed her hair and Freddie fussed over how cute she was and taught her a hand clapping game. They were good parents and it was fun to watch them. Why was there a part of me that felt upset? What did this pang in the pit of my stomach mean? I knew eventually I'd have to tell Brian how I felt. 

I waited until later that night when we were engaging in mindless pillow talk after sex. We were both tired and almost half-asleep, so it might not be the best time to bring up a serious topic. Still, I went forward. "Bri, I don't think I'm happy. Dr. Crown loves me and so do all the patients, but ever since I started dental school I've just been feeling...I don't know. It's just not how I imagined it." I paused, giving Brian a chance to laugh and call me a quitting failure, but of course he didn't. I knew he wouldn't. 

"Okay." He replied calmly without judgement. "If that's how you feel, then do you wanna go back to modeling?"

I shook my head. "It's not just that I lost my passion for dentistry since starting. Lately I've been feeling that there's something missing in my life. I couldn't quite explain it until I figured it out. Because I have everything I ever wanted. You, my sight, my family. What else is there? I thought I was going slightly mad. But now I know what it is. Brimi, I wanna have a baby."

"A baby?" Much to my surprise there wasn't any blow back. Instead Brian smiled. "I want a baby, too! I thought you wanted to wait until you were done with school." 

"No, I thought_ you_ wanted to wait until I was done with school!" I exclaimed. 

"Why would I want to wait? I just wanted what was best for you. Rog, of course I want to have kids. I'd want nothing more than to raise a family with you. You'd make such a good father. I'm so excited!" Brian gave me a kiss to show that we were on the same page. 

"First thing tomorrow, we can start researching adoption agencies." Brian suggested. "Do you want a boy or a girl? Oh maybe we could have a surrogate. We'll have to make a pros and cons list for what will work best for us..."

Suddenly we went from half asleep pillow talk to serious wide awake discussion about our near future. I always hated the expression "the future is looking bright", but now I loved it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Rog is not meant to be a dull dentist LOL. This chapter wasn't my best work but I'm trying. The Blind AU is the only thing I feel like writing right now. Hope you liked it!


	41. Oh Baby Can't do This to me Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A doctor's negligence leads to a brilliant idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AY-OH! This chapter is short and kinda rushed but I wanted to get something out on Live Aid Day so here ya go! 
> 
> Trigger Warning:
> 
> This chapter contains implied sexual assault. It's not that bad, but I'm putting this here just so you'll be prepared.

_Brian's POV_

"Lamborghini." Was he serious? "No, Roger."

"Porsche, that's a beautiful name for a girl."

"No, Roger." I said more sternly this time.

"Maserati?"

"We are not naming our kid after a sports car!" I cried. "Why don't we talk about more practical things right now. How do you feel about a surrogate?"

"I don't know, Bri." He said hesitantly. "I mean are you really comfortable having a three-way with a woman?"

Wait what? I wasn't sure if I was horrified or amused, but I was certainly perplexed. "Umm...you lost me. Who the hell gave you that idea?"

"That's biology. One of us has to get a bitch pregnant in order for a surrogate to work." Roger stated.

I face palmed. "That's not how it works, Roger. Well yes that's how it works, but we wouldn't have to have sex. One of us would donate our sperm and the surrogate would be artificially inseminated."

"Ohhhhhh." Roger nodded in understanding. "So if that's how it works, then whose sperm would we use?"

Roger wasn't aware but I had already made pros and cons lists for all of our options and had in depth considerations for each possible decision. Bottom line was I really wanted kids and I was glad that my discrete planning was finally coming to fruition and Roger was on board with me. So having already thought about this at length I didn't take much time to answer. "Your sperm would be best."

Roger laughed. "Are you joking? Why would we want a baby like me when we could have a baby like you? You're brilliant, tall, handsome, and above all healthy."

"So are you. Well maybe not the tall part, but everything else is true. It's shallow of me but I want a beautiful baby like you. Your blue eyes, your pretty smile. Imagine a perfect mini Roger and how adorable that would be." It was superficiality that drove my choice in the end. Maybe we should consider adoption, but getting a surrogate was more tempting.

"Bri, I appreciate that," Roger prefaced, "but you weren't there when I was that baby. It wasn't at all the fantasy you imagined. I wasn't that perfect child. I was very sick and just my existence broke my family's heart and I was a burden to everyone around me. I know I'm healthy now, but what if I pass down something that'll suppress our baby's immune system and he'll end up just like me. I don't want our kid's first memory to be in a hospital fighting to survive. Or him catching an illness that'll leave him blind for life. No thanks. Worse thing that could happen to your kids is that they end up herbivores like you. They'll be cute little Bri bunnies. Nothing wrong with that."

I always hated it when Roger spoke so lowly of himself but in this case some of what he said was true. That had been his reality, and there was a chance, slim as it may be that our child could have that fate as well. "We haven't ruled out adoption yet." I decided to shift to the other idea so as to deflate any tension this conversation was bringing.

"Hang on. We haven't ruled out a surrogate either. Imagine having a little Bri bunny hopping around. A perfect angel baby with your hazel eyes and curly hair. Wouldn't that be wonderful?" Roger sighed dreamily.

"And what if I pass down my depression?" I countered. "Plus that cute baby will grow up to be too tall."

Roger rolled his eyes. "And that's better than a baby from me that'll never be tall enough to ride rollercoasters? What about your mind, Brimi? Your baby will be so bloody smart. We both know mine would be an idiot."

"That's not true your baby would be just as smart and resourceful whereas mine would be forgetful and aloof." I argued.

"Why do you hate yourself?" Roger cried.

"I don't know. Why do you hate yourself?" Why were we fighting over this? How did this exciting conversation became a screaming match about our worst qualities (which in Roger's case were all made up)?

"So...adoption is best." I concluded.

Before Roger could answer, his phone began to ring. "Hold that thought." He murmured and went to answer it. "Hey, Clare, what's up?" 

I used the brief rest in our conversation to fantasize about having that dream family with my Roger. A little baby of our own to hold in our arms and care for. We'd watch him or her grow over the years, cheering for each and every milestone both big and small. Wouldn't that be perfect?

"Wait. Slow down, Clare. W-What? You're being hysterical. I can't understand you. Are you okay?...He did WHAT?" The panic in Roger's voice told me not everything was going well with Clare. There were tears prickling in Roger's eyes. Oh no! "O-Okay." He whispered shakily. "I-I'll be right there. Don't do anything. I'm on my way."

"Rog?" I knew he needed a hug before he could explain what was going on. He didn't say anything but just trembled in my arms, stifling back tears. "You're in no state to drive right now. Where's Clare? I'll take you to her." I told him.

"I-I fucked up, Bri." He heaved. "I should have protected her. I'm gonna be such a shitty father. I can't even watch over Clare. She's my baby sister, my rock, and now she's hurt and I wasn't there for her."

"Shh. Shh. It's alright, Roger." I rocked him gently in my arms. "You're going to be there for her. Whatever happened wasn't your fault. Now tell me what happened and I'll bring you to Clare."

"S-She's at the doctor's office." Roger sniffled. "We have to go! She needs me."

The doctor's office? That wasn't good, but it was better than the hospital. "Alright. I'll drive us. Get your coat." 

Whatever was going on with Clare had Roger genuinely scared because he didn't protest or demand that he drive instead. He quietly composed himself together and put on his coat. The silence remained during the drive. Roger didn't even complain that I was driving too slow. 

"What happened to Clare?" I asked eventually. "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready, but it would be helpful if I knew."

"I-I'm not sure...but she sounded so scared. S-She said that the doctor...violated her." Roger clenched his fist. "I swear if he laid a hand on her I'm going to kick him right in the balls and then use his nose as a punching bag."

"Oh God!" I cried. "If that's the case his license to practice medicine should be suspended and he should go to prison." No wonder Roger was so freaked out. I couldn't imagine what Clare was going through right now. I drove faster, actually going through a red light. Within no time we made it to the doctor's office. 

Roger wasted no time and got in the secretary's face, ringing the bell repeatedly. "Where the fuck is my sister?" He shouted in her face as she tried to ask if he had an appointment. 

I understood why he was so frantic and frustrated, but making a scene wouldn't help Clare. "Roger, calm down please." I said. 

"ROGER!" Clare came running out of the office in tears still wearing the blue hospital gown. "Roger, I'm so glad you're here! I-I didn't know who else to call. H-He's making me sign these papers and I-I..."

"No! Don't sign anything!" I instructed. "I'm calling Miami. This is serious." 

Clare nodded. "Yeah. A lawyer would be good. I-I feel so...so...dirty."

"Where is that bastard?" Roger snarled. "I'm gonna knock his teeth out!" 

"Clare!" A man in scrubs approached her. "Would you please just let me explain!"

"You stay the hell away from her!" I shouted, holding Roger back from attacking him.

"There's been a mistake! Please." The doctor begged. "I didn't mean for this to happen and I'm so so sorry. It was an honest to God mistake." He sounded genuinely remorseful. I prayed that we weren't getting the full story and Clare wasn't as hurt as we imagined for the benefit of everybody.

"You fucking monster!" Roger shouted. 

"Look, this can be handled appropriately. Why don't we just go back into my office and have a little chat." He said calmly. 

"Well...maybe I overreacted a bit." Clare stammered. "I-I just...you hear these horror stories on the news of male doctors taking advantage of their female patients, and I panicked."

"Wait what exactly happened?" I asked. 

"I had Clare Taylor's files mixed up with my other patient Claire Tyler who was coming in later to have her eggs frozen so she can get hopefully pregnant again after her chemotherapy. Instead I did the procedure on Clare Taylor who was coming in for a routine checkup." 

"I just got uncomfortable when you were poking around down there and I thought..." Clare sighed. "Leave it to me to cause a scene."

"You have every right to cause a scene, Clare. You didn't agree to have your eggs taken out. That's not what you came here for, and it's _your _body and you shouldn't have to go through anything uncomfortable against your will." Roger said. 

"What you did was very negligent." I told the doctor sharply. "You'll be hearing from our lawyer and Clare won't be signing any non-disclosure agreements you're trying to give her."

"I just wanna go home." Clare sniffled. 

"We'll take you home." I offered. 

***

"I'm sorry if I scared you." Clare sighed. "I think I really did overreact. I mean it's a fairly common procedure and won't hurt me in any way. I should've just signed the damn thing saying I wouldn't sue."

"You did the right thing calling for help, Clare. He did violate you by doing a very personal procedure that you didn't consent to." I said. 

"I mean I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Now that I have eggs stored I won't have to worry about getting too old to get pregnant ten or twenty years from now if I wanna have a baby." She said. 

"That's one way to look at it." Roger said. 

"Aren't you two looking into having kids?" Clare asked. 

"We are." I said. 

"Well would you want to have me as your surrogate?" She offered. "We already have my eggs ready to go. Why not use me?"

"Clare, you don't have to do that just because this bizarre sequence of events happened today." I said.

"No, I want to." She insisted. "This would be the closest you two would get to having your own child biologically. It'd be your son or daughter and Roger's niece or nephew. So you'd be getting both of your DNA. I'd be honored to carry your baby. You two are such a sweet couple and I love it when things work out for your like this. And like I said I believe everything happens for a reason. Even your eyes, Roggie. You were blind so that now you can appreciate your sight even more."

"You really wanna do this for us, Clare?" Roger asked. 

"I would do anything for you, Roger. Besides, it's not just for you. It'll be _my_ niece or nephew as well and I'd love to have a part bringing a new life into the world." She giggled. 

If Clare was 100% okay with this, then this was definitely the option I wanted to take. It seemed the most logical--a split between both of our DNA. Like Clare said it was the closest thing to having a baby biologically. I didn't even need to convince Roger. He was grinning like a mad man. "Hell yeah! Let's do it!" He shouted. 

"We're having a baby!" I exclaimed. And I couldn't be more excited for this new chapter in our lives. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Live Aid Day everyone! Stay safe out there. 😘


	42. You're the Apple of my Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger attends a Mommy and Me class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they're letting us choose whether to physically go back to school in the fall or attend class via Zoom. I'm a Libra so I'm super indecisive. The incoming students have a group chat so we're getting to know one and another and I've found out that several of them have or have had COVID. One girl claims she got it twice once in March and once in June and she's fine apparently. I'm young and healthy so I'd probably be fine too but I don't want to spread it to my family. They're talking about shutting down all the k-12 schools and universities will likely follow so I might not have to make the choice. Scary stuff keeping me awake at night. Enough about my life here's the next chapter!

_Roger's POV_

"Big day!" I patted Brian on the back. "You've got this!"

"It's gonna be weird." Brian laughed. "But I think I'm ready." He grabbed the magazine that featured me on the cover from my modeling days. I grinned. They likely had their own magazines for the sperm donors, but it was flattering that Brian would choose one with me specifically.

"Should I send you some nudes?" I teased making Brian flush.

"No, that won't be necessary, Rog. I can conjure a mental image and that'll be good enough."He said. "Okay. I think I'm ready to go. Wish me luck!"

"Good luck! You'll do great! And if you don't, then remember this mental image and it'll help." I slowly bent down, trying to be sexy. Hopefully it worked.

"You're killing me, Roger!" Brian blew me a kiss and then he was off. I prayed everything did go well. Miami helped us with the paperwork and Clare was given a proper checkup to make sure she was healthy and able to carry (of course she was). All we needed now was Brian to donate his sperm.

I was so excited I just wanted to scream. Soon we'd have a beautiful baby of my own. Just like Azalea or Robert. That was all I wanted. A healthy, happy baby. Not a sick baby like me, but it would be more like Clare since she was the biological mother. This had to work out. I would be devastated if it didn't.

While I waited for Brian to return, I Skyped Uncle Clem to tell him about our plans. He had a right to know that he'd be a great uncle soon.

"Hey there, Roggie!" I loved it the way he smiled so proudly whenever he saw me even when he was on a pixilated computer screen. "How's my favorite nephew?"

"I'm great, Uncle Clem! Never better!" I squealed. "Guess what? I'm having a baby!"

"Really?" He gasped. "Oh that's great news! I'm so happy for you! Are you adopting a boy or a girl?"

"We're not adopting. Clare agreed to be our surrogate. So we don't know if she's gonna have a boy or a girl yet." I explained.

"That's so nice of Clare." He exclaimed. "I'll be sure to send her plenty of Japanese butter cookies when Keiko makes a new batch."

"Hey what about me? I want cookies too!" I pouted.

"You're not the pregnant one, but I'll tell Keiko to make extra so you can share." Uncle Clem chuckled. "Wow! I can't believe you'll be a dad. That's one of the biggest responsibilities anyone can take on, Roger, but I know you're up to the challenge."

"Yeah well I'm not in it alone. I've got Bri of course. And I'm sure Freddie and John will help out the same way we help them with Azalea and Robert." I said.

"Support systems are crucial." He agreed. "You know your mother didn't have too many things working in her favor. It's scary doing it all on your own especially when you're so young. Michael was obviously no help, so it was just me and her for the most part. You're lucky that you have everything set up to be a successful parent with your group of loving helpers."

"I don't know where I'd be without Brian and my new brothers." I said. One thing was for sure, I'd still be in the dark. I didn't want to think about that. "So what's new with you?"

"Nothing much. Just working on a new advertising campaign for the inn. Business is booming. I've never seen it so crowded. Keiko's been working on some new recipes for the restaurant and so far they've been a hit."Uncle Clem said. "I do miss you and Clare a lot. I wanna make time to visit again. It's been too long."

"Well hopefully when you visit in the future you'll be meeting the newest addition to our family." I said.

"Hopefully." He grinned. "Gosh, I'm really excited for you, Rog. You're gonna make a fantastic father. I don't even have kids but I know from you and Clare that parenting isn't easy. I don't think anything can really prepare you for it, but I know in my heart it'll all work out."

"Thanks, Uncle Clem. Got any advice that might help?"

"Well, does Veronica take Robert to Mommy and Me classes? Maybe you can go with them sometime and that'll help give you an idea of what it might be like. You can meet other moms and stuff. Although it might be weird. Not too many dads go to that. One time I had to take Clare 'cause Winnie was busy with you, and I definitely felt out of place."

"That was back in the 90s when things weren't very inclusive. Now it's called Parents and I. Freddie takes Azalea all the time with with Ronnie and Robert. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I tagged along."

"I guess now it's both grammatically and politically correct. Man, times have changed." he sighed. "Anyway, I'd suggest starting there. It couldn't hurt to check it out. But like I said, there isn't really much you can do to prepare and it's a life changing event, but I know you'll do great. You'll just shower your kid with love. I bet you'll have a little cutie pie that looks just like you did when you were a baby."

I cringed, imagining how sickly I was and my first two years in the hospital instead of home. "What? No! Why would you say that!" I cried. "I want a healthy baby like Clare. It's her DNA, not mine."

"You weren't healthy," Uncle Clem acknowledged, "but you were still a cutie pie and we loved you regardless. We did everything we could to get you better. That's what you do for your kids, you sacrifice everything so that they can be safe and happy and you love them unconditionally. By the way don't tell your sister I told you this but you were the cuter baby. That said you were both adorable in your own special ways so if your kid turns out like either of you you should be very proud."

"Uncle Clem, you're lying again. Sure, you and Mom took care of me and all but I was such a burden and you--"

"--We loved you. We still love you. We'll always love you." He stated firmly. "I don't wanna argue about this, Roger. Sure, your mother has a funny way of showing how much she loves you and she makes plenty of mistakes and I guess I can say the same thing about myself, but you and Clare have always been the most important things to us and we'd do anything for you in a heartbeat."

"You loved Clare more. It's okay to admit it. She was healthy and could have a normal life. You didn't have to worry about her." I sighed.

"Would you stop that before I reach through the computer screen and slap you!" He cried. "We love both of you no more or less than the other! Both of you are our--I mean Winifre--fuck it--_our _children so you both have an equal place in our hearts."

"I'm more your son than I am Michael's." I acknowledged. "Hopefully the baby won't get any of his genes."

"It won't Roger. You know why? Because you didn't turn out like Michael and neither did Clare. And you'll be the ones raising the kid. You'll do a much better job than Michael ever even attempted. While all he could do was abuse and criticize you'll shower your kid with nothing but love. It'll be great. Trust me." Uncle Clem insisted.

"Okay." I said hesitantly. Uncle Clem had managed to turn his life around, but the words "trust me" coming from his mouth should be taken with a grain of salt.

*******

"Are you going to be a good girl today, Azalea?" Freddie asked as he held his daughter's hand. "Uncle Roger's here and you don't wanna misbehave in front of him."

"No!" Azalea responded.

Freddie frowned. "Is that a no to misbehaving in front of Uncle Roger or a no to being a good girl?"

"No!" She repeated.

"No is her new favorite word now." Freddie sighed. "But I swear parenting is worth it!"

"No!" Azalea shouted again.

Meanwhile Ronnie was still trying to get Robert out of the car without him clinging onto her for dear life. "Maaaammmaaa!" He wailed.

"Yes, yes I'm Mama. I know. I know." She sighed, finally managing to lower him to the ground. "Sweetheart, there's no need to cry. It's just Mommy and Me."

Freddie made a "tsking" sound. "It's Parenting and I, darling. We live in an inclusive and grammatically correct era." He corrected. Ronnie rolled her eyes.

Other parents were struggling to get their children into the classroom as well. One boy had knocked off his shoes and threw them down the hall for no apparent reason and another girl refused to hold her mom's hand because she was too busy picking her nose. "Are all kids like this?" I asked.

"They're like little drunk people. You can't help but love 'em." Freddie said, giving Azalea a hug as she continued to scream no on an endless loop.

A woman with short dirty blonde hair greeted us in the class room. Well she greeted the parents first and then bent down to look the babies in the eye to greet them super warmly.

"This is Roger." Freddie introduced me. "He's gonna be a Dad soon hopefully so he decided to do a trial run today."

"The more the merrier." She beamed. "Welcome, Roger. I'm Miss Rose. Do you have any questions about parenthood? I have six kids of my own, so I'd be the one to ask."

"Six kids!" I gasped and couldn't help but eye her tummy which was now relatively flat. She must be done having children.

"Mmm. Six kids sounds nice." Ronnie remarked. "I always wanted a great big family."

"I won't protest to more Deaklings being made. There's always room for more creampuffs." Freddie proclaimed.

"So Roger, are you gonna be a single Dad?" One of the moms asked flirtatiously. I smiled and held up my ring. "Sorry. Happily married to my soulmate." That earned several pouty faces from the adults. The kids, on the other hand, didn't care. They stumbled and crawled to go play with the toys scattered around the room.

Azalea grabbed a doll a girl was playing with and shouted "Mine!" making her cry. Freddie gasped. "Azalea, darling that is not how we play. You give that doll back and wait your turn."

"NO!" She shouted.

Freddie took the doll from her and gave it back to the girl it was stolen from. "NOOO!"Azalea screamed. "NO! NO!!" She threw the doll at Freddie's head.

"Temper tantrums are usually the result of a spoiled child. Freddie, have you been spoiling her?" Miss Rose accused.

"What? No!" Freddie cried. "Why would you ask such a ridiculous question, darling? Of course not. I don't spoil my daughter. I simply give her everything her heart desires in order to keep her happy because she deserves to be treated like a queen. I would say Jim spoils her though."

Note to self: Try not to spoil future child or risk being screamed at by a mini demon.

"Robert, are you gonna go play with the others or are you just gonna cling to me this entire time?" Ronnie encouraged her son to leave her side. "Mama!" He cooed anxiously.

"You've gotta take care of that separation anxiety now before he starts pre school." Miss Rose advised. "I once had a student cry through the entire school day because he missed his mother so much. He did this every day for a month."

"I didn't even consider that." Ronnie said. "He's always with family now, so it might be hard for him when we're not here." She picked Robert up and placed him down on the mat to play with the others. Only as soon as she stepped away, he scrambled back over to her.

Note to self: Try not to overly coddle future child or risk child never ever leaving your side.

Now growing red in the face Azalea continued to scream and throw toys as Freddie tried and failed to talk her down."If that were my daughter I'd spank her."A mother whispered. Miss Rose overheard and her easy going sing song demeanor flipped like switch. "We NEVER hit or spank our children no matter how badly they are behaving! We can raise our voices, but we shouldn't take out our anger physically on them. Do you understand?"

The mother who made the comment shrugged. "My mother would hit me all the time and I turned out fine. Good to teach them discipline."

"The abused often become abusers themselves. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and it's hard to break the cycles. Remember that." Miss Rose said sternly. Then her cheery smile returned. "And on that happy note it's circle time!"

Note to self: Don't be like Michael.

That much should be obvious, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I would still fall into that trap. I had Michael's blood flowing through my veins. How could I not be like him? After all like Miss Rose said the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I couldn't focus on the nursery rhymes sang in the circle because my mind was far away. What if I became an abuser like Michael? What if I hurt my child? I had a temper, so what if my kid acted out I lost my cool and hit them? Oh God! I was one breakdown away from being a monster like Michael. What should I do? Was I even meant to be a father?

The spiral of self doubt continued well through the class and left me exhausted by the time I was home. I passed out on the couch with the telly on as I waited for Brian to come home.

_My little son was the spitting image of my old baby photos that I was only able to see much later in life. He was tiny and skinny as a stick with wide blue eyes that just stared ahead blankly, dead. I tossed an apple at his head like a baseball. He didn't even react to the toss, but when it smacked him he responded with a hurt scream. "Bet you didn't see that one coming!" I laughed and hurled another apple at hi_ _s face. "_ _Maybe I'll knock you so hard it'll _ _finally _ _get your eyes working!" The scrawny boy started to cry as I pelted him with _ _more _ _apples._

_"Stop that! You're hurting him!" Brian cried. _ _I shoved my husband back against the wall, stopping him from comforting our sobbing son._

_"_ _The k_ _id needs to toughen up." I reasoned_ _. _ _"Besides I'm teaching him a _ _valuable _ _lesson. Isn't this how your beloved Isaac Newton discovered gravity?" I laughed again, but as I picked up another apple I noticed my reflection in the mirror. It wasn't me _ _staring back_ _. It was Michael._ _ The reflection of my father winked back at me. "Remember, Roger, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."_

My eyes fluttered open as someone jostled my shoulders. It was Brian and he was smiling. "Hey there, sleepy head. How'd the Mommy and Me thing go?"

"Um...it went." I yawned still in a daze from my nightmare. "Azalea had a meltdown." I recounted. "Robert has separation anxiety without even being separated. And all the other kids are little crazy people."

"Well we know it's gonna be a handful, but we're prepared for anything, right?" Brian insisted.

"But what if I lose my temper and hurt our kid or I hurt you?" I voiced my concerns. "I'm the spawn of Michael it's only a matter of time until I snap."

"We've been together for three years now, Rog. That's a long time. I know how you get when you're upset. You scream, you curse, and you punch walls. I've never seen you take out that anger on another living creature. I know you, honey. Even when you're in a fit of rage you'd rather have your fists punch a hole in the wall than cause pain to another. You're nothing like that monster and you have nothing to be afraid of. Your heart is full of love, not hate. I know you would never ever hurt anybody you love but I don't need to be convinced. You need to tell yourself that you're a good person, Roger, because you are."

"I wish I had as much faith in me as you do." I said. "I really do hope our baby takes all of your traits 'cause you're absolutely perfect, Brimi."

"I am not. I'm—" Brian stopped himself. "Look that's not the point. We're in this together, Roggie, and I know that the two of us together are unstoppable."

"We make a great team." I agreed. 

"We sure do." Brian grinned taking my hand. 

Then Valentine barked at us because he wanted our attention. I called him over for some much needed cuddle time. Obviously having a kid was way different than having a dog, but we were on the right track. I pushed aside any negative feelings I had about Michael or the potential for the disaster. Brian wouldn't let me go down that dark path. I trusted that everything would turn out okay if he was here on this journey with me. 


	43. Don't Try Suicide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that Brian had the most fabulous of birthdays because he deserves the world + 39 baby badgers and that STILL wouldn't be enough. I can't wait for Roger's birthday on Sunday!
> 
> This chapter's gonna be pretty heavy so prepare yourselves for an emotional rollercoaster!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:
> 
> There's a depiction of attempted suicide up ahead, more specifically in the second flashback. If that bothers you might wanna skip the second italic section.

_Roger's POV_

"I've never seen someone so excited to watch me drink lemonade." Clare laughed as I hung to the edge of my seat staring at her with eagerness. "Do you have to pee yet?" I blurted.

"Roger, give the fluids a chance to hit her bladder." William said.

"No pressure, Clare." Brian told her.

"That's right you two. Stop putting her under pressure." Mom reprimanded. "I know you want your baby, but this is ridiculous. It's only been a week. Who knows if the test will even be accurate this early on?"

"Well I'm late." Clare announced.

"Late for what?" I asked.

"A very important date." She giggled. "No. I was supposed to get my period yesterday. Honestly I'm looking forward to a nine month break from that hell."

"Just don't give your hopes up, alright. That's all I'm saying. There's a chance you might not be pregnant or it's too early to tell." Mom said.

"How long did it take you to find out that you were pregnant, Mom?" Clare asked. Mom stiffened and the atmosphere in the room changed with a snap. We usually knew better than to ask our mother a question like that which would remind us that both of us were accidents.

"I really don't wanna talk about my pregnancy experiences, honey." Mom dismissed. "I got my two little angels out of it and that's all that matters." Translation: I love you, but I didn't plan or want you to happen. The unspoken truth created an uncomfortable tension.

I didn't appreciate the awkward silence. It made me dwell on the circumstances of my birth. My maternal grandparents wanted nothing to do with me because Mom had gotten pregnant as a teen. Her family completely disowned her. She moved in with Michael's family but he also didn't want me and made that fact quite clear from the very beginning. When Clare came along unexpectedly there were fears that she'd end up like me. Michael also didn't want her and Mom was afraid that something might go wrong. Our maternal relatives disregarded Clare as well even though Mom was no longer a teenager and was married to Michael. Mom was basically on her own. And it was all because of me.

"Do you have to pee yet?" I asked, desperate for a distraction. Clare shook her head and took another sip of lemonade. "Take your time." Brian encouraged, but he tapped his foot impatiently. The clogs he was wearing made the sound even more irritating.

I nearly screamed "thank God" when the phone rang. "I'll get it!" Mom seemed just as anticipatory for an excuse to end this purgatory as me when she reached for the phone.

"Have you ever considered taking tap dancing lessons?" William chortled to Brian as Mom went in the other room to take the call. "You've got the noisy shoes for it."

"I don't dance, but I do have a sense of style." Brian remarked looking down at his shoes. "I've got a pair in every color. I started collecting clogs a while ago to motivate myself to find my soulmate so I can see all the colors I'm buying."

"Aww. I never knew that. You actually make me like those ugly shoes because you're so cute." I cooed.

"They are not ugly, Roger! You take that back!" Brian cried.

"You look like a serf." William laughed.

"A sexy serf, but a serf." I snickered. "By the way what's a serf?"

"A medieval servant to a lord in a feudal system." Brian explained.

"That's kinda kinky. It would make a hot roleplay." I said mindlessly. Then I realized I said that out loud. Oh shit! "Gross!" Clare cried as William laughed and Brian turned as red as the Red Special. I milked the moment by winking at him making him even more uncomfortable. "Rog, that kind stuff is meant for behind closed doors." He grunted. What a prude! It was so adorable. Too bad I couldn't use the "I don't know what closed doors look like" excuse anymore.

The mood was ruined when Mom walked back in and hung up the phone. I knew something was wrong by the way she walked so slowly and shakily. Then out of nowhere she started to sob, and I knew it was serious.

"Oh no!" Clare exclaimed. "Don't cry, Mom."

"What happened?" I cried.

"What is it, Winnie? Is everything alright?" William went to comfort her. Mom tried to compose herself. Her voice was hoarse in between tears. "There...there was a prison riot. Michael...he was stabbed. T-They...pronounced him dead as of an hour ago. I-I'm not sure how I should feel right now."

"Oh." The sound of the syllable escaped my mouth, but I felt completely numb. No sign of grief, anger, relief...just nothing. I felt empty. "It'll be okay." I managed to speak, but my tone was simply flat. I had no emotions to shed. Perhaps I was in shock. Well even Mom wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel. It was a tricky situation. On the one hand, Michael made all of our lives miserable and deserved that fate, but on the other hand I never did wish him dead. The naive child within me wanted him to somehow rehabilitate like magic and become the caring father of my dreams. The one who would hug me and teach me sports and not tell me that I'm worthless. A more twisted side of me wanted him to stay in prison and learn the error of his ways and live with himself and the way he treated us. There was no reckoning with Michael. I knew that now. This was the closest thing to closure I would get. I exhaled, feeling like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. He was gone and he would never hurt me or anybody else ever again. I waited for the inevitable wave of sadness but instead felt calm.

"I'm not going to miss him." I admitted freely.

"We still have to pay our respects." Mom said. "I'm arranging for the funeral to be next week. Do you think that gives Clem enough time to book a flight here?"

"Oh! Yes! Uncle Clem is coming!" Clare cheered, clearly devastated over Michael's death.

"He shouldn't come. He hated Michael." I said.

"Roger, that's his only brother. Of course he's going to attend the funeral. Look, Michael was...oh let's face it, he was an awful man and my biggest regret in life was staying with him for so long and overlooking his abuse. But if God has the power to forgive, then we should as well. We all need to attend to say goodbye and try to forgive and forget. It's the right thing to do." Mom insisted.

"I agree." William said. "Just don't deify him because he's no longer with us. No overblown eulogies about how wonderful he was. He wasn't wonderful at all. In fact he was horrible. And he hurt you in so many ways. But I think there can be a lot of healing in attending his funeral. It's never good to hold a grudge against a dead man. So this'll be a good time for you to let go of all that pent up frustration toward him and move on." I nodded. That seemed to make the most sense. "Well said." Clare agreed.

"I never met the bastard." Brian said. "So I'm not sure if it's my place to go to his fun--"

"--Roger needs moral support, so if you don't show up I will retroactively fail you." William threatened.

"Yessir." Brian said at this point quite used to how passive aggressive his quasi father-in-law behaved.

"I-I think I have to pee now!" Clare gasped. "Wish me luck!"

"What a time to find out if we're gonna be parents." I remarked. With this bombshell about Michael, I couldn't focus on Clare taking the pregnancy test even though that was all I could think about moments ago.

"Michael didn't have too many friends, but I should call around and let people know in case they don't see it in the obituary." Mom decided.

"Well we'll find out in two hours." Clare announced as she walked out of the bathroom with the pee stick. "The marking will show up right here. They say it's in pink, but I won't be able to see the color."

"Two hours." I repeated. "Why the hell does it have to take so long?"

"Be patient, Roggie." Brian said.

Clare glanced around to make sure Mom really was out of earshot. "Is it wrong that I feel kinda relieved about Michael?" She whispered. "Mom really seems torn apart, but I'm...I hate to say it, but I'm kinda happy."

"There's nothing wrong with that, Clare." Brian said. "I think in a situation like this, there's no proper way to react."

"I think the word you're looking for is bittersweet." William stated.

"That's two words." I corrected.

"How are you feeling, Rog?" Brian asked before William could reply with something snarky. "Or has it not really sunk in yet?"

"I think I'm feeling mixed emotions, but at the same time I'm kinda numb. I guess I need more time to process it." I reasoned.

"Honestly, I feel like celebrating." Clare said failing to realize that Mom had walked back into the room. "Clare Taylor that is a horrible thing to say at a time like this!" She scolded.

"Calm down, Winnie. She has a right to her feelings and opinions." William said. "I hate to give props to Brian but he's right in this case. There's no good or bad way to react in a situation like this."

"A man is dead. We should be upset and repress any feelings of happiness because they're obviously wrong. As terrible as Michael was, it is a repugnant thing to celebrate a death. I expect better from you, Clare." She reprimanded. "I think we should take this time to reflect on the few good things Michael did. You two are the most precious things in the world to me and Michael helped bring you into this world."

"And literally did nothing else of value." I harked. "Has it been two hours yet? I wanna know if I'm having a baby that I'll actually love and respect because that's the bare minimum a parent should do. Michael failed on every level but I'm not going to repeat his same patterns of abuse. That's the only thing I'll be reflecting on: how not to be like him."

Mom softened. "You won't be like him, sweetheart. I raised you better. Or at least I tried to. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright, Mom. Everything's going to be okay." I assured her._ 'Especially now that he's gone.' _I thought to myself.

***

"It feels wrong to be going to a funeral when we're preparing to welcome a new life into the world." I said as I looked into the mirror trying to adjust my tie. "If I'm feeling this way I bet Clare is too since she's the one carrying the new life."

"It's gonna be an emotional day no matter what." Brian sighed. "Here, let me help you with that. It's completely crooked." He easily readjusted my tie with a few simple tugs. "Much better."

"Thanks, Bri."

"Of course. It's best to keep your tie straighter than you." He kissed the top of my head.

I laughed. "Yeah thanks for helping me with the tie, but that's not what I meant. I meant thanks for coming with me today. William's right. I could use the moral support."

"It's no problem at all, sweetheart. If this is what you need then I'm here for you. After all I had nothing better to do. John ran out of animals to sing about on Old McDonalds farm to keep Robert entertained so he invited me over to add lyrics about some more exotic species. I think this is more pressing. Deaky completely understands."

"I'd rather be sing Old McDonald with Deaks and Robert right now to be honest." I admitted. "I don't like funerals at all. They're so depressing."

"I have yet to meet a person who enjoys attending funerals and when I do meet that person I'll want to get as far away from them as humanly possible. All these feelings are normal, love. You're gonna get through this." Brian assured me.

"You're quote the optimist today." I observed.

"Just trying to lift your spirits and bring back that pretty little smile." He replied.

I forced a smile which Brian likely knew wasn't genuine. I loved him and he was doing a great job taking care of me, but I didn't appreciate being asked to smile regardless of the intention. At least not in this moment. Showing up to a funeral with a cheery face was completely inappropriate. I felt guilty for even being tempted to smile at the fact that Michael was dead. Mom was right. It wasn't a reason to celebrate. So then why was I secretly elated deep down? I hated feeling so conflicted. I tried to recall the emotional turmoil I underwent the last time a family member I wasn't fond of passed away. My grandmother to be more specific...

_"Why do we have to attend her funeral again? She kicked you out on your own and completely disowned you. She wished I was never born at all and didn't give a damn about Clare!" I ranted._

_"I know she would have grown to love you and Clare if she had gotten to know you." Mom hummed as if in denial that her family made no efforts to get to know us. "Now hold still while I fix your tie. I want you to look presentable for Grandpa and Aunt Mildred."_

_"Hey Winifred hurry it up or we'll be late and it'll give your family another reason to hate you!" Dad called._

_"My family doesn't hate me. They just...they don't approve of some of my life choices. Clare, sweetheart, why don't you brush your hair while I help your brother. You have to look good too. And I want you kids on your best behavior."_

_"Face it, Winnie, we can disguise our little demons as angels but your folks will still despise 'em no matter what. In a way you should be happy things worked out the way they did. If it wasn't for me you'd still be living with them and suffering from all their abuse." Dad said._

_"I'm very happy with the way things turned out, Michael. I love our little angels and that's precisely what they are. It's not my fault that my family just won't accept..." She trailed off. "You know what I think we're ready to go. Remember kids be on your very best behavior and try not to take anything Grandpa and Aunt Mildred have to say personally."_

_"They hate you and there's nothing you can do about it." Dad summed up. Well at least he was honest._

_"Why?" Clare asked innocently. "How can they hate us when we've never even met them?"_

_"We met them once. You're just too young to remember." I recalled. "They visited you when you were first born and completely ignored me. They tried to pretend that I didn't exist. They treated me like the invisible man."_

_"But that was ten years ago which is s looonng time ago. They never visited us again?" Clare inquired._

_"Enough, Clare!" Mom surprisingly snapped before Dad. "Let's just put the past behind us and say goodbye to my mother."_

_"Now see what you've done, you little brat? You made your mother upset. Just keep your mouths shut and everything will work out." Dad grunted as he violently slammed the car door shut. Poor car facing the wrath of Dad's unwarranted anger._

_I felt around for the seatbelt and clicked myself in. Then I reached for Clare's hand in the seat next to me as I heard her sniffling. I squeezed her hand the moment I felt it. The soft sound of stifled tears slowly got quieter and quieter as the car ride progressed. I wanted to take credit for making Clare feel a bit better but it could be the comfort of the car._

_Unfortunately we had to leave the sanctuary of the SUV when we arrived at the funeral home. I stumbled out of the car and held firmly to Ringo's leash a little apprehensive about being in a new environment. Having never been here before, not every step was mapped out in my head like at home or in school so I was more reliant on my dog than usual._

_"Winifred." A man with a gruff voice greeted. "Your mother's will was finalized before she died. All of our money is going to Mildred. I hope that isn't the reason you came."_

_"Hello Father." Mom responded coldly. "I'm here to pay my respects. You remember your grandchildren Roger and Clare and of course my husband Michael."_

_"Huh." Grandpa huffed. "You haven't sent the boy off to a home yet? That's surprising."_

_"Believe me sir I've been looking into it." Dad intervened. "Especially now that my stupid brother isn't around anymore to take him off our hands. If we could afford it, he'd be long gone."_

_"What?" I cried. "You're sending me away?" What did this "home" entail? Why didn't I know about this plan?_

_"No!" Mom exclaimed."We are not sending Roger anywhere. He's a good boy and needs me to take care of him. I don't trust anybody else with my baby."_

_"I'm 15. I'm not a baby." I reminded her._

_"There are quite a few adult nursing homes that are willing to take in teenagers with disabilities. It's something you should consider." Grandpa stated._

_"Oh hell no!" I shouted. That sounded horrifying._

_"Good to know." Dad said._

_"That is NOT happening!" Mom exclaimed. "My baby is staying with me. He's not going to be treated like some invalid in a nursing home. I won't let that happen. I can care for him at home. Who better than his own mama to give him the love and attention he needs."_

_I didn't protest to her babying me this time. I would take that any day over being sent to a fucking nursing home._

_"You brought this on yourself, Winifred." Grandpa accused. "The Lord is punishing you for having sex before marriage. That boy is ill because he's the result of sin. If you're lucky your daughter won't turn out to be a slut like you but I doubt that. How could you let her wear that revealing skirt?"_

_"It covers her knees." Mom stated._

_"Barely." He scoffed. "It would kill your mother to see her granddaughter dressed so immodestly. Good thing she's already dead."_

"Clare, what are you doing outside?" I asked as Brian made our way into the church where the funeral would be held before Michael was taken to be buried. She was wearing a black dress that fell just above her knees.

"I don't know. Dead people freak me out and Aunt Mildred called me a whore. Why are she and Grandpa even here?" She sighed.

"That's not nice at all! No one should be slut shamed. And you're a virgin so it doesn't mean anything." I cried. "God, our family is so stupid. Between Mom's folks and Michael I'm hoping our baby doesn't get any of those asshole genes."

"Well we turned out okay, didn't we Roggie?" Clare smiled. "Don't worry." She patted her stomach. "I know that your baby will be just as perfect as you. And I'm usually right about these things."

Before I could tell her that I was very far from perfect, Brian guided me into the church so we could awkwardly mingle. Everyone was gathered around a large brown box and for a second I was confused. Then I remembered what Clare had said about dead people freaking her out. "Bri," I whispered dumbly, "is that what a casket looks like?"

"Yes." He replied without judgement. "Michael's body is in there. Your mother said we're having a closed casket funeral 'cause the stab wounds were pretty gruesome."

"Good. I hope he suffered." I didn't realize I had said that out loud. I really needed to watch my mouth. Well watching things was always difficult for me since it wasn't second nature like it was for most.

Mom stood by the casket talking to a woman assisting an elderly man who limped heavily reliant on a cane. "Aunt Mildred and Grandpa." I presumed.

"...Not that you even care about us," Aunt Mildred, "but it's been so difficult caring for him lately. Dad's gone partially blind in both eyes and completely deaf in his left ear. He's deteriorating a little worse every day. It's like dealing with Helen Keller. You have no idea. Old age has not been kind to him. When I saw Michael's name in the obituary I figured you'd be here and this would be the last time you'd get to see Dad. I hope you're happy, Winifred. You made no efforts to be a part of this family. You just ran away with that stupid boy and look where it brought you. He's a no-good felon who left you all alone with two children."

"Michael was a bad man. I agree. But his funeral is not the time to discuss that. And I did make efforts. You just didn't want anything to do with me and wrote me off as a sinful slut. I didn't know Father was ill. You never answer any of my calls." Mom replied coldly.

I decided it was a good time to intervene. "Rog, I don't think you should get yourself involved in th--" I ignored Brian and walked over to the trio. I knew I made the right choice when Mom looked to me gratefully.

"Ahh, you remember Roger, don't you?" She gave me a hug as she spoke. "I think the last time you saw him he was a teen, so it's definitely been a while. Did you know he's my favorite son?"

"I'm your_ only _son." I reminded her.

"Yeah, but you're still my baby, my pride and joy, and each day I thank God that you're here." She flattered.

"Who is that, Mildred?" Grandpa squinted in my direction.

"That's Winifred's bastard son. You know the _special_ one." She told him.

"Yeah I'm pretty special." I chirped sarcastically. "By the way, Aunt Mildred, have you considering shipping Grandpa off to a nursing home? I hear that they take good care of people in his condition. That way you won't have to be burdened."

"Roger, that's a horrible thing for _anybody_ to say!" Mom said, but she was grinning. Karma sure was fun. Did it say something that I was having a good time at Michael's funeral?

"Sorry, Mom. I don't know any better. I'm just a dumb, blind, blonde bastard." I said looking Aunt Mildred directly in the eye with a sly smile.

Aunt Mildred gave me a fake laugh. "Well bless your little heart." Translation: Fuck you, you little shit!

As much as I enjoyed trolling her, my attention was diverted when Uncle Clem arrived. I hadn't seen him in person for a while so it was always exciting just like when I was a little kid. "Clem, you came!" Winifred exclaimed.

"That's what she said!" We chortled in unison. Brian facepalmed.

"Clem-Clem!" Maybe I was just feeling nostalgic but I used my childhood nickname for him and eagerly ran to give him a hug. "Ah, my little race car driver soon to be father. It's so good to see you, Roggie!"

"Both of you behave yourselves! This is a funeral. At least pretend to be upset!" Mom scolded.

"It's Michael's funeral, so it's basically a party." Ironically Uncle Clem was the only one who spoke the truth.

"Sit with me?" I asked Uncle Clem as the patrons gathered into their seats. Clare reluctantly entered the room and joined me, Brian, and Uncle Clem in the back row. Mom and William sat more toward the front. "I wish I brought some popcorn." Uncle Clem beamed. "This is gonna be great!"

"For Winifred's sake try to be respectful." Brian whispered. I rolled my eyes. The room quieted and Reverend Berger began his sermon. He did his usual spiel quoting Genesis and referencing God and Jesus although the tone was more somber than a typical Sunday service.

"...And when we look back on Michael's life in this world, we should remember that God has a plan for every living creature. Perhaps God's plan for Michael was to teach us how to forgive and how to persevere challenges put in our path. In the end, God has the final judgement, so it is not our place to deem him a good man or bad man. To us he was just a man who committed many sins. As good Christians we must be forgiving and leave the rest in the Lord's name. Amen."

I clapped not realizing everyone else would be silent. Brian nudged me and shushed. Oops. Guess I wasn't too well versed in etiquette. Uncle Clem coughed, but it sounded like he was covering up a laugh.

Reverend Berger cleared his throat. "Now Winifred, the ex-wife of the deceased, has some words she would like to say."

Mom walked up to the podium and retrieved a piece of paper from her purse which she read from. "Michael was my high school sweetheart. I loved him, but I was young and naive. Coming from a household where spanking and shaming your child was the norm, I overlooked a lot of Michael's abusive tendencies. It was no secret that he treated me and my children poorly and I have no one to blame but myself for not getting us away from him sooner. But I don't want to talk about the bad things Michael did over the years. He helped bring my two beautiful children into this world and I don't know what I would do without Roger and Clare. They are the best things in my life. So I have to give Michael credit for providing me with my whole world. I wanna say that as miserable as our lives were with Michael, if it wasn't for him Roger, my precious baby boy, wouldn't be sitting here with us today..."

Oh God no! I prayed Mom wasn't going where I thought she was going with this. Hopefully I was misunderstanding.

"....When Roger was at his lowest point after another failed surgery, he tried to kill himself..."

Fuck! I did not need to be reminded of that and the last thing I wanted was everyone's sympathy and Mom presenting Michael as the hero of the hour. Yeah, he stopped me from killing myself, but that didn't make up for the hell he put me through. I blinked back tears as those godforsaken memories returned.

_"Are the bandages off?" I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway because there was still the tiniest glimmer of hope far within me anticipating the moment I'd never reach. I was so close to seeing light and again that dream was stripped away from me._

_"Doctor, his tear ducts are reacting. Should we be concerned?" I heard the nurse's voice, and it just made me cry harder. He was supposed to be the best eye surgeon in the world, but I was still left blind after surgery. If he couldn't cure me, I'd be stuck in this darkness for the rest of my life._

_"Look up for me, Roger." The doctor said as if that would help. I casted my eyes upward still seeing nothing._

_"His pupils aren't constricting. His eyes aren't registering the light." The nurse observed. Fuck! Same problem after every surgery. Nothing changed. My pupils were fully dilated no matter what. Why was I counting on this time being any different?_

_"C-Can he see?" I didn't realize my mother was in the room until I heard her voice. She must have just been allowed in now that I was awake._

_"Um, Mrs. Taylor, do you mind if we speak privately?" The doctor said and they stepped out of the room, but I could still vaguely make out their voices. "...Failed...Permanently blind...Nothing we can do..." I had heard those words so many times accompanied by my mother's sobs, but this time it was so much worse. This was the doctor that Uncle Clem ruined his life to try and get for me, and it was all for nothing. All of my friends got their vision at least partially back thanks to him. Why didn't it work for me? I kept telling myself I'd be able to see the world by the time I finished high school. Graduation was right around the corner, and I was still blind. This was it. The dream was dead. I had nothing to look forward to. My case was hopeless. I felt so deflated. At this point it was beyond a frustration or a sadness, I just found myself drowning a pit of misery and no other emotions were tangible. The only thing I could see was this overwhelming mass of worthlessness that was now my life swarming around me like the darkness that plagued my every glance. There was nothing beyond this darkness. No reason to live._

_"Oh, baby, it's alright. Please please don't cry. I'm here. I'm here." Mom tried to comfort me and rocked me very gently in her embrace. It was supposed to be consoling but I felt numb. "We'll just regroup and figure out where to go from here." There was nowhere to go from here. This was it. "Shhh. Shhh. I've got you. I'm here. I'm gonna take you home and everything will be okay. How about I make something special for dinner. Anything you'd like. Or better yet we can order take out. Does Chinese food sound good for you?"_

_That would normally be enough to put a smile on my face, but right now nothing seemed worth getting excited over. Even if I felt hungry I wouldn't be compelled to eat. This darkness was too consuming for me to shift to anything else. Not even the car ride home could evoke any sort of emotion out of me other than this foreboding sinking feeling. I couldn't escape it. I wanted out._

_"Roger, you're being too quiet. You're scaring me. We're in the car, sweetheart. I know how much you love cars." Mom failed to cheer me up._

_"I'll never get my sight back." I accepted. "I can't drive without vision. What good are cars to me anyways?" I couldn't do anything worthwhile. I served no purpose._

_Clare hugged me when we got home. For a twelve year old she had the maturity to know that sometimes it was better not to say a word. I think she knew what I had planned. "Love you, Roggie." She whispered._

_"I love you too. You have a bright future ahead of you, Clare. Literally. Remember that, okay?" I told her._

_"Don't go Roger." Clare sighed. How could she know what I wanted to do? I paused. "What do you mean?"_

_"Take my laundry with you on your way out. Here I'm too lazy to bring it to the washing machine." She handed me her laundry bin. Of course Clare followed this up with a please and thank you. I might as well leave having done one last favor for her. I owed her that much._

_On my way back from the laundry room, I rummaged through the medicine cabinet. I wasn't sure what I was grabbing, the labels on the bottles weren't in Braille. I just yanked them all off the shelf in a haste so I wouldn't get caught. Then I rushed back to my room and locked the door behind me._

_I used my Braille slate and stylus to draft my suicide note. I addressed it to Mom and Clare even though they wouldn't be able to read it without a translator. This was the only way I knew how to write._

_Dear Mom and Clare,_   
_I'm sorry but I can't find the will to carry on in this darkness. There is nothing left for me. Don't blame yourselves. You did all you could for me. I just can't take living in this hell anymore. I hope you're able to get far away from Michael someday. And no he's not to blame for my decision to end my own life either. As much as I hate him, he has nothing to do with the hope I've lost from failed surgery after failed surgery. This was the last one I can bring myself to suffer through, but accepting that this blindness is permanent is not an option either. I'm sorry. There's no other way out of this darkness. I love you and I hope you can forgive me._   
_Roger_

_With a shaky hand I uncapped the first bottle and spilled the pills down my throat trying not to gag or choke. Ideally this should be painless. Then I moved on to the next bottle and then the next..._

_I fell back onto my bed and shut my eyes easily descending into a deep sleep._

_A heavenly light shined overhead. It was beautiful. For the first time I saw it shine, real pure light. I became completely at peace as I allowed myself to slip away._

_Then just as suddenly as the light appeared, it vanished. I was back in the darkness. A cold substance drenched my body—ice cold water. My eyes fluttered open and I gagged, vomiting up all the pills I swallowed into what felt like the shower drain. A hand roughly smacked my back._

_"What the fuck were you thinking trying to kill yourself, you little idiot! Spit them up now!" Michael slapped my back harder this time as the water continued to pour down on me. I threw up some more._

_"You know you would've given your mother a sheer heart attack and then I would have to deal with the collateral damage of both of you dying. I don't wanna be known as the guy whose son was such a pussy that he committed suicide. How do you think that'll make me look? You know people talk, Roger. What with all your stupid little accidents from how fucking clumsy you are." He hit me again and it was probably rough enough to leave a mark. "They might think I'm to blame. That I drove you to kill yourself. You don't want your old man going to jail like my no good brother."_

_"Clem-Clem!" I choke on more up-chug of pills as I thought about Uncle Clem. I missed him so much. Even if he had taken me to that same doctor seven years ago I wouldn't have gotten my sight back. Would he understand how far deep I was in this darkness and let me leave it all behind?_

_I allowed my eyes to close again, trying to return back to the light..._

_"Oh no you don't!" Michael screamed waking me back up with a blow to the head. "I didn't wanna have to take you to the hospital but you might need your stomach pumped. We'll just tell 'em you're fucked up in the head. I had nothing to do with this and they can't prove it."_

_"D-Don't flatter yourself." I sputtered. "You're not even enough to drive me to suicide. I did it c-cause I hate myself and I hate being blind."_

_"Exactly. It wasn't me. That's all you gotta say. Now do us all a favor and keep yourself alive until we can we get to the hospital, you little shit."_

"...He saved Roger's life that night. In that moment Michael was a hero. He kicked down the door and found him and brought him to the hospital..."

Now I felt like vomiting as much as I had that night. Hearing Mom brag about Michael and use the darkest moment of my life as a talking point in front of all these people made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't handle this. Too many bad memories on display. "I need air!" I blurted.

I bolted from the church faster than a vampire who had been sprayed with holy water. I just needed to get away from that toxic environment and clear my head. I wasn't sure how far I ran but as soon as I was removed from the situation I felt more free. It was like all my problems were tossed aside. I inhaled a deep breath of fresh air feeling more invigorated. Down in the stream below I spotted my reflection against the crystal clear blue water. There I was perfectly visible. I laughed to myself just staring down at the glorious image. "I'm alive and I can see!" I screamed, my voice rippling across the water.

Truly it was a joyous moment that grounded me. Just a small reminder of everything that I had to lose and all that I had gained. At last I was free from that horrid darkness and Michael no longer had a hold over me. It was all so liberating. I loved my life. It was one worth living. And now that I could finally see my own worth, I would never try to throw it all away ever again.

"Quack!" A duck splattered down into the water. I recognized it by the sound and the general birdlike appearance. I don't think I've seen ducks yet. I climbed up onto the ledge to get a better look at the feathery creature always eager to explore more with my new eyes.

"ROGER NO! PLEASE NO! DON'T DO IT!" The duck got startled from Brian screaming in the distance and flew away. I turned back catching a quick glimpse of Brian's poofy figure coming closer before someone grabbed me from behind. I screamed as I was pulled down from the ledge without warning.

"I GOT HIM!" Uncle Clem shouted ignoring my kicks and struggles to get away. "What the hell?" I cried. "Let me go!"

"No Roger! I won't let you do this. You have too much to live for. Think about everyone you'd be leaving behind. Me, Brian, Clare, your mother. We'd all be beyond devastated." Uncle Clem lectured.

"Roger!" Brian finally caught up, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Please tell me you weren't actually going to jump!"

"What's going o—" I looked back at ledge overlooking the rocky stream where I had been standing a few seconds ago. A jump from there would have killed me. "Oh no! This isn't what it looks like. I wanted to see the duck." Wow! It sounded idiotic when I put it that way. "Sorry if I scared you. I wasn't trying to kill myself. This was just my first time seeing a duck and I got excited."

"My God, Roger! You had me so freaked out." Brian cried. "You should know better than to climb up onto that ledge. What if you lost your balance and fell? I can't lose you, Roger. Promise me you won't be so stupid and reckless in the future."

"Brian's right." Uncle Clem said as he released me. "That was very dumb, Roger. How could you risk your life for a blasted duck!"

"Quack!" The duck flew back down into the grass. It wiggled its tail feathers and pooped on Uncle Clem's shoe. "Quack!"

"I guess I deserve that." He sighed as I laughed. Ducks are awesome!

"So if you weren't coming here to do the unspeakable, then what made you flee from the church without giving us any notice?" Brian inquired.

"I didn't choose to come to this spot specifically. I just had to get out of there. I couldn't listen to Mom exploit that story. It was making me feel physically ill." I explained.

"That was a fucked up thing for Winnie to do." Uncle Clem agreed. "I guess she was trying to pinpoint the one good thing Michael did in his life, but that story is too personal and you shouldn't have to relive it. That's torturous for all of us."

I got the answer to my question. If Uncle Clem had been the one to find me instead of Michael he would have done the same thing but he'd save me because he loved me not because having me alive was convenient.

"Rog, why didn't you tell me?" Brian asked.

I shrugged. "It's not something I'm proud of or I like to really talk about. It was a bad mistake I made when I was 17 and I'm lucky that I survived it. If I could go back and stop myself I would."

"I shouldn't have asked. It's hard to open up about these things. You're very brave, Roger, and I just want you to be happy." He gave me a soft kiss. 

"Can't you see? I am happy, Bri! Being with you and seeing the world is better than any dream. If I had succeeded then I would have missed out on the love of my life and all these fantastic things like driving cars and seeing ducks shit. I'm so happy I could burst."

"Quack." The duck responded.

"Yes. I see you, you adorable little guy!" I exclaimed. It was always a good exercise in gratitude to take a step back and reflect. I'd become so comfortable with my vision that it was easy to neglect the little things. These small things needed to be appreciated because compared to all encompassing darkness each and every sight was a gift to be treasured.

Oh and the big things were very much appreciated as well. I stared up at Brian lovingly. "This is the best life I could ask for and I'd be a fool to give it all away. I love you so much, Brimi." 

"Ahh, Rog, I love you too, but you really really scared me." He laughed and then kissed me again. "Please don't make me feel that way again. If I ever lost you I don't know what I'd do."

"You'll never ever lose me." I promised him. "We'll only be gaining from here and I wanna show our new baby that the world is a wonderful place full of love and happiness." 

"You're an inspiration to us all, Roger." Uncle Clem said. "And I've known it from the day you were born."

"This is all so corny." I sighed. "Sorry for putting you through all this."

"It's alright." Brian said. "As long as you're okay."

And I was. Everything was 100% much better than okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! That was intense. Haha. Ducks are awesome. That's all I've got to say. Quack! 🦆


	44. I'm Coming Down with a Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger gets pink eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe I'm back in business! I was going to make this chapter the gender reveal chapter (if you've read the one-shots it won't be much of a reveal but whatever) but I felt like writing more ANGST *evil laugh*. Don't worry though my favorite part about writing angst is the inevitable comfort, cuddles and fluff that follows.💖

_Roger's POV_

Did you know that there's entire stores dedicated to baby stuff? I guess I should've known that but I didn't. My excitement upon entering Babies R Us was ironically higher than that of the babies--excuse me "big kids". Yeah I was doing shopping for my future munchkin but I was joined by Freddie and Ronnie who were looking for junior beds for their little ones outgrowing their cribs. So that was how I found myself in the bed aisle looking for a crib while Freddie and Ronnie tried to keep track of Azalea and Robert and simultaneously searching for the perfect "big kid" beds. Robert was being well behaved but Azalea was affirming every parent's nightmare by upholding the myth of the notorious terrible twos.

"Papa I'm booooooorrrrrrrrrrrrreeeed." Azalea whined.

"How are you bored, darling? We're trying to find you a bed fit for a queen!" Freddie cooed. "How about this one? Do you like this one, deary?"

"No." She stated.

"What about that one?" Freddie pointed to another bed.

"No." Azalea repeated.

This trend continued on a loop for the next several beds Freddie picked out. Too bad Uncle Clem flew back to Japan last night. I bet he could have sold Azalea on a bed. Selling mattresses was his forte.

"I'm bored." Azalea said again.

"I have to go potty." Robert announced.

"This is your future, Roger." Veronica laughed. She looked down at her son. "Honey, can you hold it until I get the man to ring up your new big boy bed?"

"I have to go potty too!" Azalea interjected before Robert could reply.

"Darling, you just went 10 minutes ago. You pee more than the cats. How is that possible?" Freddie shook his head.

"I can take them." I volunteered. "There were some cool looking strollers near the restrooms that I wanted to look at too."

"You might not wanna invest in strollers this early in case Clare has twins you might need a double." Ronnie advised.

"Twins?" I gasped, not even considering it. I looked to both Azalea and Robert. If I could handle both of them, then I could probably manage a pair of twins. For now though I planned on only having one. One was more than enough.

I accompanied my niece and nephew into one of the unisex/family bathrooms (thank God for those) and made sure no creeps tried to mess with us like all those scary stories you hear on the news. Thankfully, the bathroom and stalls were empty. "Azalea, sweetheart, you gotta lock the stall before you go potty." I told her and shut the door for her.

"I wear underwear now. No more nappies. I'm a big boy!" Robert proclaimed from behind the stall.

"Yes you are! You're a big boy. And Mama is buying you a big boy bed. No more baby crib for you!"I encouraged.

"I like my crib." Azalea said over the sound of the toilet flushing repeatedly.

"Um is everything ok in there?" I tentatively opened the door (which Azalea hadn't bothered to lock) and saw that she was just flushing down toilet paper for the fun of it.

"No Azalea! You're just using up the toilet paper for no reason. It's readily available now but if there's ever a major crisis it'll be the first thing to go. So don't be wasteful." I picked her up and carried her out of the stall ignoring her protests.

"All done!" Robert fled from the room and I had to step out and call him back in to wash his hands and not run away like that. In the meantime Azalea went back into the stall to flush more toilet paper. I just tried my best not to yell at them and carried on with the chaos to the best of my ability. _'Don't lose your cool or you'll snap into a rage like Michael.' _I shook the thought from my head.

"Okay are we done in here?" I asked as I finally got them to finish washing their hands. Patience was the key.

"Yes Uncle Roger." Robert said sweetly.

Azalea tried to go back into the stall a third time but I stepped in front of her, blocking her path. "We're leaving." I said firmly.

"Okay." The toddler surprisingly complied.

Wow! She actually listened to me. Freddie can't even get her to behave. Maybe I was doing a better job than I originally thought.

"Toys!" Azalea squealed letting go of my hand and rushing to the bin of plushies.

"Azalea, don't run from me!" I shouted. Fuck! So much for not yelling.

By the time I caught up to her Robert was also intrigued by the toys. He picked out a Perry the Platypus plushie and hugged it. There was no way he'd part ways with it now.

"Alright you can each pick out one. Only one." I stressed. Naturally Azalea was trying to grab as many stuffed animals as her little arms could hold. "One!" I insisted.

"But Papa says anything I want." Azalea said.

That rotter Freddie spoiled his daughter whether he wanted to admit it or not. "Well Uncle Roger says only one." I said.

I was scared she'd scream at me or throw all the toys at me. Instead Azalea looked at all the toys pensively like her life depending on it. Then she picked out a tabby cat plushie. "Kitty Meowy." She dubbed. "Can we show Papa now?"

Holy shit! How did I get Azalea to compromise so easily? I pretended not to be surprised by her lack of a tantrum. "Yes we can go show your Papa but first we have to buy them."

Neither talked back as I guided them the nearest cash register which thankfully didn't have a line. I picked up a pack of 39 pacifiers along the way because I was told that was a must have for every parent of a newborn.

The cashier threw away the tissue she was using to blow her nose and I was skeptical to have her ring up our buys after that. Then she turned around to greet us revealing that both of her eyes were red and droopy. That wasn't normal.

"Your eye is drippy." Azalea observed.

"Very minor conjunctivitis." Her voice sounded hoarse. "Don't worry I took eye drops and washed my hands during my break. And I haven't had a fever in the past hour. How can I help you?"

I instinctively beckoned the kids to step back. Robert was three and Azalea was two. We all know what happened to me when I was their age, so I went into a very over protective mode. My niece and nephew were thankfully both healthy enough to get all of their vaccinations including the one for measles and mumps. In my case by the time I had built up my immune system to handle the vaccine, it was already too late. It was the severe case of conjunctivitis resulting from the measles infection that caused my 22 years in a darkened hell. I would rather die than let the same thing happen to Azalea and Robert even if I was overreacting. This was likely just your average case of pink eye and not an underlying symptom of something more sinister like measles, but still I wanted to take every precaution.

"You shouldn't be working if you're ill. Especially at a place where pregnant mothers shop with very young children." I told the cashier.

"I'm fine." She coughed. "Pink eye is more common than you think. Now how can I help? Would you like to buy those?" The woman reached over the counter and took the pacifier pack from me to scan it for purchase. Fuck!

"You know what never mind." I said, stepping as far away from her as possible. I picked up another pacifier pack and took that kids to another register where the cashier seemed healthy.

"Hey, hey, hey! There you are, darlings! We were beginning to worry!" Freddie emerged from around the corner.

"Papa! Papa! Look! Look! Papa! Look!" Azalea waved the cat plushie in his face. "Look! Papa! Look!"

"I see it! I see it!" Freddie grinned. "I'm so happy for you, darling. You always deserve a new toy." He glanced up at me and mouthed a thanks as Azalea continued to flaunt the cat.

"Uncle Roger says only one so Kitty Meowy is the best one!" She gave the plushie a hug. Meanwhile Robert tried to imitate a platypus noise as he played with his Perry the Platypus plushie.

"You didn't have to do that, Rog. That's so sweet." Veronica cooed. "Robert**, **did you say thank you?"

"Thank you." Robert remarked in the cutest way imaginable.

"Azalea, do you have something to say to Uncle Roger?" Freddie tried to parent.

"Uncle Roger, the scary eye lady is behind you."

"What the fuck?" I turned around to see the pink eye bitch in my face definitely not maintaining her social distance. "You forgot your recite, sir. Have a nice day." She forced the recite into my hand and walked away.

"I hate to be a Karen, but I might wanna talk to a manager." I said.

"Don't be a Karen. It's just not worth it, darling." Freddie advised. "What good would it do to report her to a manager anyway? The damage is already done."

"I guess you're right." I sighed.

***

My eyes had been dead for as long as I could remember. Even after I got my sight back, I still couldn't feel any sensations in my eyes apart from the wetness of tears. I found this out when I was cuddling with Valentine and got some of his fur in one of my eyes. I had no clue anything was wrong until Brian told me my eye looked irritated. Apparently it was supposed to feel itchy or something to let me know that something was wrong, but my sensory nerves just weren't working. I was encouraged to go in for eye surgery to get the issue fixed, but there was a likely chance it wouldn't work and a small chance I'd wake up blind again. In other words definitely not worth it.

So when my eyes refused to open but I felt no other signs of discomfort, I panicked. I heard the alarm went off and I knew I was awake. My eyelids just would lift. I was trapped in the dark. My worst fear was coming true. Why weren't my eyes opening? Or maybe they were already open and I was...No! No! It couldn't be! I screamed and screamed waiting for the relief. Where was the light? Why couldn't I see? I was freaking out so much that I didn't register someone next to me, holding me, trying to console me. It wasn't until I felt strands of curly hair brush up against my face as I was wrapped in his arms that I realized Brian was here. "Roger! Roggie, it's okay. I've got you! You're okay. It's just pink eye. Please calm down. You're gonna be okay. I'm here."

"B-Brimi?" I choked.

"Yes, Roger. That's it. You're okay. I've got you." He hushed.

"M-My eyes." I didn't want this to be real. Brian was here and I couldn't see him. His touch wasn't working. I was still blind. Why was this happening? I wanted to cry but my eyes even refused that request. They were more numb now than they had ever been in the past. I couldn't even convince them to open. It was like they were permanently glued shut. I screamed in frustration as I struggled in failure to open my eyes just a crack. There had to be some way to get back to the light. "I-I'm scared! Bri, please help me!" I cried.

"It looks like you have a bad case of conjunctivitis, but it'll be okay. I promise you'll be okay. What you need is a cold compress over your eyes. I think that'll help bring down the inflammation and...Oh, you're warm. I hope you don't have a fever."

Fuck! This was it. I knew my vision couldn't last forever. The last time I had a fever and pink eye, it killed my eyes and I nearly died. Now it was happening all over again. "No! This isn't happening! Not again. Please God no! Brian, don't let it happen again! Brian, please!" I clung to him desperately pleading even though I knew there was nothing he could do to save me. He wasn't even that kind of doctor. "Please," I begged, "I want to see you again. Let me see you again!"

"Oh, Roger, my poor baby." I felt Brian tighten his embrace. "Shh. It'll be alright. Some eyedrops and a cold compress will get the inflammation down and then you'll be able to open your eyes again, and I promise you'll be able to see."

"Y-You promise?" I refused to let him go, holding onto him for dear life.

"I promise." Brian whispered. "You're gonna see. I promise, love. Shh. I've got you."

"Please don't leave." I whispered, shivering in the absence of his body heat. Or maybe I just had the chills.

"I'm getting you medicine and things to make you feel better, love. I'll be right back."Brian ignored my pleas and abandoned me in this darkness I was all too familiar with. I wanted to cry but my eyes weren't cooperating. I didn't want this to be my life again. I'd give anything to see Brian's face.

"See? I'm right here." Brian returned but I swatted at him (and missed) in frustration. "No! I don't see! I can't see! I'm**—**I'm..." I refused to say it.

"...Not blind." Brian denied. "It's just bad conjunctivitis so you're having trouble opening your eyes because they're so inflamed. That's a side effect."

"But I—"

"...Shh." Brian softly kissed my cheek. "It's alright, Roger. I'm here. I'm going to take care of you. Now lie back and let me apply these eye drops and then put a cold compress over your eyes."

Those eye drops were prescribed by the doctor to keep my eyes from getting irritated but I never used them in fear I'd lose my vision again. Now it seemed I had no choice. I wasn't sure if I was finally crying or if it was Brian applying the eye drops. Suddenly my eyes opened just a crack and I saw the tiniest speck of light.

"LIGHT!" I screamed desperately, struggling to keep my eyes open but it was just too difficult. My lids fell shut again locking me in this void that I hated so much.

"The light is still there, Rog. You'll be able to see it more soon. But I need you to be patient." Brian said gently. "I'm gonna put a cold compress over your eyes. Alright?" I felt the substance placed over my eyes but the cooling sensation wasn't unpleasant at all.

"You feel really warm. I'm going to take your temperature. Can you open your mouth for me?" Brian instructed.

"Why is this giving me kinky vibes?" I giggled.

"Roger, you stop that, this instant! I'm playing nurse to help you get better because conjunctivitis if not treated quickly and properly could...Well I think you've been scared enough already, but you have to take this seriously." Brian reprimanded.

"My Mom loves to scare me to death whenever I get sick. She's normally the one who cares for me. But even if it's just a stuffy nose she panics and thinks I'm dying of the plague. Please don't tell her I have conjunctivitis." I requested. "It'll just break her. I don't want her reminded of the acute conjunctivitis that almost killed me and left me blind."

"This isn't acute, Roger. I promise you're not dying of measles again and you won't be going blind on my watch. I'm gonna take good care of you until you're all better. Nurse Bri at your service." He kissed my forehead.

"Nurse Bri is now one of my kinks." I decided. "That just sounds so hot." _'I bet it would look hot too.' _I thought. While my eyes presented no stimulus in front of my I tried to imagine Brian dressed up as a sexy nurse.

"That's enough, Roger!" Brian cried. "Now is not the time. Let me take your bloody temperature already!"

I complied and opened my mouth, resisting the urge to tease him some more. Besides, I doubt I looked very sexy while sick in bed with ugly pink eye. The thermometer beeped. "Just as I suspected. You have a fever of over 100. You need to take some medicine."

I followed his instructions and swallowed a pill and continued to rest. I cooed softly as Brian patted my head. Maybe it was the medicine but I began to feel very sleepy. "Sing for me?" I purred. 

"Of course, love, anything you need to feel better." Brian kissed the side of my head and broke into a lovely tune. 

_"You never heard my song before the music was too loud  
But now I think you hear me well for now we both know how  
No star can light our way in this cloud of dark and fear  
But some day, one day..._

_Funny how the pages turn and hold us in between  
A misty castle awaits for you  
And you shall be a Queen (you shall be a Queen)  
Today the cloud, it hangs over us and all is grey  
But some day, one day..._

_When I was you and you were me and we were very young  
Together took us nearly there, the rest may not be sung  
So still the cloud it hangs over us and we're alone  
But some day one day...  
We'll come home"_

Within seconds, I fell into one of the deepest sleeps of my life. It was so refreshing. I slept so soundly that I didn't even recall my dream when I woke up. Despite waking to darkness again, I was content. Brian was here. I could feel him cuddled up next to me. Still somewhat groggy, I reached to remove the cloth from over my eyes. I blinked back as the light painfully seeped in. I could see but my eyes were somewhat sensitive at the moment. I turned to take in the blurry image of my beautiful husband lying next to me. The one thing I could make out most precisely were the curls framing his head like a halo. "My angel." I murmured. 

"You feeling any better, honey?" Brian asked. "The inflammation went down a bit but your eyes are still pretty red." He reached to touch my forehead. "You feel cooler. Here. You should drink some water. Staying hydrated should help keep the fever down." I was too busy staring at his fuzzy form in wonder to take in his words. He was mine and I could see him. "I love you." I sighed. "You're perfect."

"Far from it, but thank you, Rog. I love you too. That's why I want you to take these step to get better. So drink your water please."

"Yes, Nurse Bri." I attempted to bat my eyes at him flirtatiously but it just made my newfound (and hopefully temporary) sensitivity to the light more noticeable. I took the water from him. "Thanks for taking such good care of me."

"Of course, Roger. Anything you need, baby." Brian replied. 

I heard my phone go off, but didn't think it was a good idea to look at that blinding light right now when my eyes were bothering me. "Eyes still foggy," I yawned, "Read me the messages please?"

"It's from the group chat, so I can read it off of my phone. It's a bunch of texts from Freddie. He says... Threat Level Ay-Oh. I have bad pink eye. Must've caught it from that bitch at the baby store. Maybe Roger should have pulled a Karen and gotten her fired. Jim quarantined me to the bedroom and is taking care of me. I miss Azalea so much. Sad emoji face. What am I going to do? What if Azalea wants something like several new toys and Phoebe tells her no? I need to be there so I can fulfill her each and every whim. Azalea needs me but I'm too contagious to be with her. Sad emoji face." 

"Freddie is creating a monster by spoiling that sweet little girl." I sighed. "I was firm with her the other day and she actually listened to me. We can't do that same thing with our kid because I don't want them becoming a brat."

"Maybe some time away from Freddie is a good thing for her. She also has Jim acting as the voice of reason, so not hope is lost. Freddie means well of course, but he loves that girl too much for her own good." Brian said. "Now let's focus on getting you better."

***

I woke up the next day feeling good as new. Brian, on the other hand, wasn't doing so well. His eyes were red and puffy and he felt warm. Oh no! "Don't worry, Brimi, Nurse Rog is going to take good care of you. Let me go get those eye drops and some medicine. You're in good hands, baby. I promise."

Despite a small groan, he smiled. "I wouldn't want anyone else in the world caring for me." 


	45. Not the Coffee Machine!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very short and very random chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What else can 2020 throw at us? Hurricane Isis is coming this weekend! Ok its real name is Isaias but I keep calling it Isis cause I have a sick sense of humor that is not very PC. In other news I suffered from a bad heat stroke and threw up in the pool. Fun!
> 
> Anyway I've got about 2 weeks left till school starts so I felt like writing some more before my free time disappears. But the movies like Paper Chase and Legally Blonde are accurate. They expect you to be 100% prepared and have all assignments done for the first day of class. So hopefully I'll be ready Freddie 🤓Now enjoy this very short and very random chapter!

_Brian's POV_

Our phone numbers were added to Clare's files and she signed a waiver allowing all her ultrasound and baby information to be forwarded to us despite patient confidentiality. It wasn't necessary though because we attended every ultrasound and doctor's visit. So I wasn't surprised when I received a text message the morning after an appointment summarizing everything. Healthy baby, clear heartbeat, gender...Oh shit! No! We agreed we wouldn't know the gender and be surprised. All Roger wanted to know was the health of the baby and he believed any other information may jinx us. Now I knew the gender because it was accidentally included in the text. I couldn't keep this a secret. But I had to. Roger didn't want to know. We had an agreement.

Speaking of Roger, he stirred next to me, yawning sleepily. "Morning, Brimi." His eyes slowly fluttered open. _'Don't tell him!'_I completely panicked.

"Um...I'm late for work. Alarm went off late." That was a lie but whatever. I rushed out of the bedroom and attempted to avoid my husband as I got ready for work. I couldn't keep this from him. I was seconds away from blurting it out. Roger was barely awake as he stumbled into the kitchen. Since he wasn't aware because it was so early in the morning that gave me the perfect excuse. "Okay I'm off to work. See you later." I planted the fastest kiss on his lips and zipped out of there before I could tell him what I knew. This wasn't going to work out very well...

***

Since I skipped breakfast and coffee at home, I stumbled into the break room to see if there was anything for me at work.The last thing I expected was to see John standing on a ladder fumbling with the lights.

"Deaky!" I gasped. "What are you doing here ?"

"My job." He replied. "You'd think the most brilliant rocket scientists in London would know how to change a lightbulb but you'd be wrong. Robert woke me up at the crack of dawn anyway so I decided to take the call for an engineer needed in the British Space Program to fix the lights and the lift. By the way take the stairs because the lift is broken."

"I'm looking forward to saying goodbye to my sleep once our daughter get here." I said. Fuck! "Or son." I added, but it was too late.

"You know the gender?" John exclaimed. "Oh congratulations! She's gonna be a cute little girl." 

"I'm not supposed to know." I admitted. "You can't tell anyone especially Roger. He thinks it's bad luck and you know how he gets about these things." 

"Thankfully for you I can keep a secret, but you obviously shouldn't tell Freddie or else he'll scream it from the rooftops." Deaky warned. 

Before I could comment on Freddie's ability to stay quiet, Dr. Scooby walked into the break room. "Don't mind me, just grabbing a snack." He announced as he ransacked the community refrigerator. "Might take something home for my friend, Shaggy. Carry on." 

"Hey, Bri, have you noticed anything strange about the scientists you work with?" John asked as Dr. Scooby left. 

"No, what do you mean?" I asked as Dr. Fluttershy walked in. I waved to her and she smiled shyly and went to go microwave something. 

Just then Dr. Sonic burst into the room. "Hey everyone! Is the coffee machine working? I need some caffeine so I can stay quick and sharp." 

"I never realized the break room got this busy in the mornings." I observed as Dr. Mickey was the next to arrive. 

"Hiya pals!" He squeaked. "I just wanna say thank you all for getting my wife a cheesecake for her birthday. She loved it! Haha." 

"That's nice." Dr. Fluttershy said. "I'm glad Minnie enjoyed."

"Are you guys for real?" Deaky blurted. I scratched my head in confusion. "What are you talking about, John? These are my colleagues and quite proficient at what they do." 

The secretary walked into the room and John eyed her braided red hair suspiciously. "Let me guess you're name is Jessie the Cowgirl." 

She frowned. "No, it's DW. You are a sad, strange little man and you have my pity." 

"Y-You just quoted Toy Story. I know you're mocking me." John cried. 

DW cleared her throat. "Dr. May, your husband is here to see you and it looks like you're having a break and not doing anything too important. Shall I let him in?"

Roger! Okay so long as I stayed calm I wouldn't let him know the gender of our daughter. Oops. I would just have to remain quiet. "Send him in." I requested. 

Roger stormed into the room talking quickly all in one breath: "BrianIknowwedidn'twanttoknowbutIgotatextanditsaysthatit'sagirlandIcan'tkeepitasecret." 

"What?" I couldn't understand him at all. 

"Our baby's a girl!" He shouted. 

"A girl! Hot dog! That's great news! Haha!" Dr. Mickey proclaimed. 

"Yay! Congratulations!" Dr. Fluttershy said. 

"Wait. How do you know?" I gasped. "Did I accidentally tell you?" Deaky face palmed and muttered something about idiots in love. 

"No, I got a text. It's all the information from Clare's ultrasound from the other day. I thought they'd leave out the gender because we didn't want to know, but they included it." Roger explained.

"Oh my God!" I laughed in relief. "You also got the text because both of our phones were aded to the file. I thought for sure I was going to spoil it for you and you'd be mad me."

"Why would I be mad?" Roger grinned. "We're having a girl! It's great news even if I didn't want to know. So long as she's healthy everything is going to be fantastic!" 

"I'm so glad you're not upset." I beamed. "Far from it. I'm thrilled!" Roger shouted. "We're having a girl. AAAAAAAHHHH!" 

"Yay!" Fluttershy coincided. 

"I'm so excited about our daughter!" Roger continued to scream. "I WANNA THROW SOMETHING I'M SO PSYCHED! AAAAAHHH!" 

"NOT THE COFFEE MACHINE!" We all yelled at him in unison. 

Roger thankfully listened and picked up a box of cereal instead and threw it into the air. As the pieces of Captain Crunch came raining down on us we danced in celebration of our future baby girl. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one:
> 
> Me: Make all the scientists cartoon characters because why the hell not?


	46. I Guess I'm Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Roger decide on a baby name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quick chapter! Very short but hopefully entertaining!

_Roger's POV_

"Okay, my darlings, the baby naming meeting is now in session." Freddie announced. "We will now go around the table clockwise and each announce our preferred girls' name and then we'll debate over the best one. Any questions?"

"Shouldn't Rog and I have the final say on the name since it's our baby?" Brian asked. 

"Well what if you have really bad baby naming judgement like Elon Musk and decide to name your baby X Æ A-Xii? I wouldn't put it past either of you to name your baby Meteorite or Steering Wheel." Freddie pointed out. 

"Have a little faith, Fred." Brian said. 

"Yeah. Why would we name her Steering Wheel? That's a boys' name!" I protested. 

Freddie sighed. "Now that we got that out of the way, let's begi--" Azalea tugged at his sleeve. "Papa, can I have a cookie?"

Freddie surprised us all by answering firmly. "No, darling, you already had lunch."

"Please." Azalea said. 

"Oh wow! You learned the magic word." Jim applauded. "But Papa still said no." He elbowed Freddie. Freddie squirmed uncomfortably as Azalea made a pouty face. "I'm sorry, darling, but the answer is still no." He struggled to get the words out. 

Azalea screamed for approximately 39 seconds. Then she stopped. "Okay. Can I go play with Kitty Meowy now?"

"Yes, that you can do, dear. You don't need to ask." Freddie told her. 

Azalea scrambled away but she paused in the doorway. "Thank you." She said. 

"Another magic word! Good job, sweetheart!" Jim congratulated her. 

"Wow!" I gasped. "What made you change your parenting style?"

"Jim said if I didn't stop spoiling Azalea he'd withhold certain...sexual pleasures that we like to engage in while she takes her nap." Freddie stated. "Apparently it's working. She's been really well behaved lately. Now on with the show. Deaky, darling, you go first. What do you think Brian and Roger should name their daughter?"

Before John could respond, Robert poked his head in the door. "Perry the Platypus!" He blurted. Azalea giggled behind him. "Poopie!" She shouted. 

"Thank you my dears but this is for the grownups to decide. Go back to the playroom please." Freddie instructed. 

"You said please." Azalea noted. She followed Robert back into the playroom. The sound of them laughing and screaming could still be overheard. 

"I think you should name her Sammy." Deaky said. 

"Ohhh. I like that name!" Freddie exclaimed. "But we have to hear the other names before we can decide. Ronnie, what's your pick?"

"I like the name Angelica."

"Nope! That reminds me too much of that evil bitch on Rugrats. That's out!" Freddie dismissed without letting us decide. "Brimi, how about you?"

I was expecting Brian to vote for Asteroid which was a cool name but not one I would necessary want for our kid. "It's a bit unconventional, but I wanna name her Blue." Brian announced. I gasped. "I wanna name her Hazel."

"She's a person not a crayon." Freddie face palmed. 

"Blue Hazel sounds really nice." Clare approved. 

"No, no. You can't name her Blue Hazel. Everyone will think of Beyonce's daughter Blue Ivy." Freddie protested. 

"How about Hazel Blue?" I proposed. 

"Oooh. That's such a pretty name!" Ronnie exclaimed. 

"I agree that name is fucking perfect even if it's colors." Freddie finally acquiesced. "But for the sake of seeing this through...Clare, what was your pick?"

"I like Hazel Blue much better than anything I would have picked and it's Brian and Roger's decision ultimately." Clare forfeited. 

"And Jim, darling?" Freddie continued even though we already had our hearts set on Hazel Blue. "I wanted to name her Lily, but Hazel Blue is better." Jim said. 

"No, Lily wouldn't have worked because we already have a cat named Lily." Freddie rejected. "That leaves me and I would say name her Kat or Cat, but you've clearly already made up your minds. Hazel Blue May is a beautiful name for your baby girl."

"Papa!" Azalea wandered back into the room. "Can I have a cookie now?"

"Fuck!" Freddie cursed in front of her because he was so tempted to give in. "No, darling. You can't have a cookie right now." 

"Why not?" She demanded. 

"Because you are what you eat, honey." Jim told her. 

"No I'm not. I ate a tuna fish sandwich for lunch and I'm not a tuna fish sandwich. Oh no! Am I going to turn into a tuna fish sandwich now? Papa, I'm scared! I don't wanna be a tuna fish sandwich. Daddy says I'm gonna turn into one." Azalea hid behind Freddie's legs and I was tempted to laugh. 

"Don't be ridiculous, darling. If that expression were literal then I'd be an asshole....Oops. That joke is not appropriate. Um. Forget I said that." It took me a moment to comprehend that one. Jim turning scarlet red certainly helped. 

Jim composed himself and quickly explained to Azalea. "What I mean is healthy foods will make you healthy and junk foods like cookies and sweets will make you feel sick."

"Ohhh." Azalea nodded. "Can I have a strawberry? That's a healthy food, right?" 

"Absolutely, darling. You can have all the strawberries in the world...I mean...I'll get you a bowl with several and that's all you can have because then you'll lose your appetite for dinner." Freddie stammered. He picked up Azalea and walked to the kitchen. His calls for Joe asking where they kept the fruit were still audible. 

"Parenting is a work in progress. You learn as you go." Jim said. "But I think you two will do great."

"Fred seems to be getting better." Brian observed. 

"No, Azalea, don't touch that!" Freddie shouted from the kitchen. Well that didn't sound good. Hopefully Freddie had the situation all under control. 

"He's learning." Jim sighed. 


	47. Who are These Four Dinosaurs? Where's Madonna?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Roger watch Jurassic Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you don't mind the shorter chapters. That way I can still try to update regularly. Orientation is next week and school starts the week after so I'll try my best to keep this story alive! On that note here's a chapter about dinosaurs because why not? Rawr!

_Roger's POV_

"I swear Joe Mazello could be John's long lost twin brother." Brian remarked. I shushed him and kept my eyes on the screen in suspense, only breaking my focus for the occasional bites of popcorn from the bucket I was hogging.

_"ROOOOOOAAAAAARRRR!!!!" _The t-rex emerged from the bushes and I screamed and dropped the popcorn. Valentine charged at the screen barking viciously. He put his paws up on the telly and snarled at the dinosaur. "Yeah! You get him Valentine! You get that t-rex that's like 39 times your size and could eat you in one bite!" I cheered.

No longer intrigued by the movie, Valentine turned to the window and decided that the squirrel outside was a bigger threat and went to bark at that. Smart move.

"This is so much better than the book." I proclaimed as I watched Joe Mazello hiding in fear from the t-rex.

"Jurassic Park is based on a book?" Brian gasped.

"Yeah. Most movies are." I replied. "How did you not know that? You know about nearly every book ever written." I reveled in the knowledge for a bit. There was a book that I had read and Brian didn't. I was going to bask in this rare moment.

"I'm well read but there are some things I don't know." Brian acknowledged. "Is the book any good?"

I read a lot of books growing up because I couldn't watch movies, but movies are so much better. I decided not to ruin our movie date night with that depressing tidbit about my childhood. "You'd probably like it." I said. "It goes more in depth in the science of how they brought the dinosaurs to life so it's more up your ally. The movie is way more exciting though and...look at that t-rex. I mean look at it! LOOK AT IT! OH SHIT!" I screamed as the dinosaur ate the guy on the toilet. Brian, the vegan pacifist, laughed. "You hypocrite!" I picked up some dropped popcorn and threw it at him. "Don't laugh at that guy getting eaten!" I betrayed my mockingly angry tone by laughing myself. "This movie is fucking awesome! How have I not seen it yet?"

"How did I not know it's based on a book!" Brian countered. "Books are so much better than movies. I'll have to read it some time."

"But look at the t-rex." I pointed to the screen. "You can't get those visuals from a book."

"That's the best thing about books. You can make up your own visuals using your imagination." Brian stated.

"You are the biggest nerd ever!" I scoffed. "Imagination is overrated anyway. I like seeing things exactly as the way they are and not having to imagine what they look like."

"Yes to the nerd thing and proud of it." Brian grinned. "And I get where you're coming from when it comes to imagination, but you better not tell Hazel that kind stuff when she wants to play make believe."

"Hazel won't be like me. She won't have to pretend to see the world." I said. I bit down on my lip. "Let's not talk about this until she's born please. I don't want any bad luck."

"Everything is going to be great God willing." Brian grabbed my hand and it wasn't to comfort me during the scary t-rex scene because my attention was no longer on the telly. "Hazel will be just like you." He said. "Brave, smart, inquisitive, and kind. And very very cute of course."

"My best quality obviously." I said vainly, tilting back my head to accept a smooch on the lips from my angelic husband. "Mmm, I don't think my imagination ever could have lived up to how perfect you are, Brimi." I cooed.

"When I first saw you, I had trouble believing you were real." Brian admitted. "You're so beautiful it's not even fair. My imagination wouldn't have done you justice either. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever imagine I'd be lucky enough to end up with someone like you and be so happy."

The thrilling action sequence had subsided by now and it was onto a new scene without the t-rex, but my heart was still racing and my stomach was doing summer salts. "I love to hear that I make you happy. You know in the time I've been with you I've never been happier." I told Brian.

"Maximum happiness all around. Must be because we're soulmates." Brian gave me another kiss as the movie commenced as background noise. "To think I was worried that you were out of my league and so much better than the people I'd normally date. I mean no disrespect to Chrissie but you are gorgeous."

That made me curious. "Did you have a type before we met? I'm told that's a thing for people with sight. I never really understood it. I mean I'm attracted to you and I've known it from the moment I saw you with all your legs, hair and glory. But I don't have a set list of physical qualities that turn me on. A lot of the things that I like in a partner are things you can't see. Like big bear hugs, a soft gentle voice, and an earthy scent. All things that describe you so I guess you are my type." I rambled.

"I smell earthy?" Brian asked, bemused.

"Yeah it's nice. Reminds me of nature and you." I rested my head against his shoulder and mindlessly casted my eyes on the telly.

"I never consciously thought about a type." Brian reflected. He was quiet and let the movie play out but I knew he was pondering. "The people I've hooked up with are generally petite so I think you fit that profile."

"How do you know that we're not all normal sized and you're just a giant?" I teased.

Chrissie and Anita weren't that tall, but other than that the three of us shared no characteristics. Yet Brian had feelings at least at some point for all of us. It seemed like the lack of commonality left Brian just as baffled.

"You know, Roger, I don't think I have a type either. I can't explain a single set of characteristics that would be ideal. I like different things about both my exes and the one-night stands I've had in the past. One thing I can say is that I'm grateful I found you because no one else can ever compare."

"No one compares to you." I echoed. I meant it sincerely even though I had never seen my former partners to compare. It was still a fact. Brian was superior regardless of vision. I loved him blindly and unconditionally.

I diverted back to the screen but was slightly less invested now that the t-Rex was gone.

"If you were a dinosaur you be the tall one with the long neck that eats plants." I declared.

"A long neck?" Brian confirmed.

"Yeah that one." I agreed. "What are they called?"

"Long necks."

"I know but what are the long necks called?"

Brian face palmed. "They're called long necks."

"Are you joking? Is that really what they're called?" I snickered.

"There's a more official name for them I'm sure but I don't know it off the top of my head but they're definitely called long necks as a sort of nickname." Brian said.

"You really don't know everything. I'm disappointed in you, Bri." I teased. "You're supposed to be a know it all."

"Contrary to what you may think, I don't know everything. It's impossible to know everything." Brian stated.

"Freddie would be a raptor." I decided more interested in making people dinosaurs.

"You'd be a pterodactyl." Brian assigned.

"Hmm what kind of dinosaur would Deaky be?" I wondered.

"He wouldn't be a dinosaur he'd just be Joe Mazello." Brian reasoned.

"And the movie would be about the four of us overcoming the odds and dino prejudices and performing at Wembley as rock stars." I giggled.

"Oh yes. We'd have to deal with record labels refusing to deal with dinosaurs and snarky critics saying things like who are these four dinosaurs? Where's Madonna?" Brian fantasized.

"We'd win all the Oscars." I exclaimed. "Who doesn't like dinosaurs and rock and roll? They go together like peanut butter and jelly!"

"It'd be all fun and games until Freddie the raptor eats somebody on set. Raptors tend to do that you know." Brian pointed out.

"Buzzkill." I murmured, snuggling closer to him.

"If there's one thing I can appreciate from this movie it's that we shouldn't try to irresponsibly replicate science. Dinosaurs went extinct because nature dictated it and it's better that we allow the universe to carry on."Brian hummed as the movie progressed.

"Yeah. Some things are just meant to be." I agreed.

"Like us." Brian smiled. "Exactly." I purred in response, planting a kiss on his lips. I knew in my heart that we were meant to be and everything would work out with our Hazel Blue.


	48. I Was Born to Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Hazel to be born!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School orientation starts tomorrow so slower updates from me. Here's Hazel's proper introduction!

_Roger's POV_

_12 years ago..._

_"Roggie!" The abstract shapes and fuzzy images dancing before my eyes faded as my dream dissipated and I returned to my darkened reality. "Clare?" I yawned, groggily. "What time is it?"_

_"Shh! Don't wake Mom and Dad! It's half past 2." She whispered. "Let's go ice skating!"_

_"Ice skating? At 2 in the morning? Are you bloody joking?" I cried._

_"Shh! I told you not to wake them! I don't wanna get in trouble. Come on let's go ice skating! I'm sick and tired of being cooped inside because of this blizzard and now's our chance to finally have some fun. The pond froze over. We can go ice skating." She tried to drag me out of bed._

_"You can go ice skating tomorrow at a more reasonable hour." I flopped back down against my soft pillow. "Go back to sleep."_

_"But I wanna go ice skating with you and Mom won't ever let you come with me. Now she won't stop us." Clare giggled mischievously. "We'll be back by the time she wakes up."_

_I was intrigued. "When did you become such a bad girl?" I sat up. It certainly didn't take much to convince me to embrace my inner rebel. "I'm in. Let's go!"_

_"Yes!" Clare squealed and I shushed her so as not to obviate our scheme._

_Mom was not a fan of me ice skating. Well to be more precise, she wasn't a fan of me doing just about anything. I learned how to skate during school field trips we'd take every winter. I had a pair of skates that like me never saw the light of day when Mom was around. She didn't want her baby going into any dangerous situations, especially unsupervised. I found my skates hidden in the back of my closet, being very careful not to cut my hand on the blade as I reached for them. Then after getting all bundled up, Clare and I snuck out the window._

_"Woof!" I paused and pointlessly glanced back at the window as I slipped down from the sill. We must've woken Ringo. "Sorry, buddy. You can't come with us. The ice will hurt your paws."_

_"Roger, come on!' Clare called._

_"I'm coming!" I stumbled down, slipping and falling into the fluffy snow. Fuck! Maybe this wasn't' a good idea. Did I forget my cane? "I've got you!" Clare helped me up and we slowly made our way to the frozen pond._

_"You know you're way back home, right?" I asked as we trudged forward. "'Cause I have no clue where we are."_

_"Of course I know how to get back home." Clare said, and I believed her._

_At first I didn't regret this decision. Clare and I had lots of fun throwing snowballs and skating. We laughed and chatted. Nothing too serious, just talking about life. "What's high school like?" "Lots of homework but so much more freedom." "Do you think I'll get a pony for Christmas?" Stuff like that._

_Then I heard the snap, followed by Clare's scream. It was so sudden. I was holding her hand and the next moment it let go. I realized she had slipped and had somehow fallen...Oh shit! The ice was thin! "CLARE!" I shouted, grasping around for her, feeling the split in the ice. I couldn't swim, but the pond was desolate and I was the only one here. My hand ventured down into the icy cold water. I kept yelling for Clare, but she didn't respond. I sunk my hand down deeper into the water, trying not to fall in myself. Fingers cold as death itself at last gripped my hand and I heard some splashes. "Hang on Clare!" I cried. With all my might, I pulled her back out of the water on onto the ice with me. "You're freezing!" I exclaimed as she shivered against me, dripping from head to toe. Clare replied in quick shallow breathes. Was she going into shock because of the bitter cold? "Hang on, Clare! I'm gonna get you home." I attempted to stand up, but accidentally slid back down onto my ass. Clare's teeth were chattering so loudly I almost mistook the sound for more chipping ice. What was I going to do? I didn't know the way back. I dragged Clare off the ice and back onto the snow, stumbling in the process._

_"Don't worry, Clare." I tried my best to reassure her even though the situation seemed hopeless. I couldn't let my sister die. Clare was my acting pair of eyes, and my one friend in this literally cold world that seemed to be always against me. What the hell have I done? "It's gonna be okay, Clare. I won't let you leave me." I whispered._

_"Woof! Woof!" I thought I was imagining things. "Ringo?" I gasped. The dog pounced, barking eagerly only to be followed by a frightened cry. "MY BABIES!" Mom's embrace was nearly smothering. "Oh my God! What happened? What were you thinking? Are you okay?"_

_"R-R-Rog...s-saved...m-me." Clare shivered._

_I couldn't help but smile as I gave her my extra body heat in a hug while Mom helped us back home. Naturally, Dad had slept through the entire ordeal and was still fast asleep when we arrived into the welcoming warmth of our home._

_"Both of you are grounded for the rest of your lives!" Mom shouted. "You're lucky the dog woke me up and found you kids."_

_Following Mom's orders, Clare and I were torpedoed in several thick blankets confined to the couch sipping hot cocoa with the stupid Barbie Nutcracker movie playing on the telly. Well that was Clare's favorite, and I couldn't see it anyway so what did I care? "You know I'll always protect you, Clare." I told her. "No matter what."_

_Present Day..._

"Oh God! It hurts!" Clare screamed, writhing in pain. "I-I can't do it!" She was in tears, gripping my hand as if her life depended on it.

Whoever says that witnessing the birth of a new human life is the most spectacular thing you can ever see in your life is a goddamn liar. This shit was horrifying. I almost wanted to close my eyes. At the forefront of this experience was something I couldn't see and therefore wouldn't go away: guilt. What kind of monster was I forcing my sister to go through with this? Clare was in agony because I selfishly wanted a baby.

"Come on, Clare, push! You're almost there!" Brian encouraged.

"Dr. Andrews will be here any minute!" The nurse announced calmly as Clare screamed like she was dying. "Worse case scenario I can deliver."

"The_ baby_ will be here any minute! Where the fuck is the doctor? Why can't she get any pain meds?" I cried.

"ROGER!" Clare sobbed. "I-I...please make it stop..."

"It's gonna be okay, Clare." I sighed feeling utterly helpless. "I promise I'll protect you. You're gonna get through this."

"You're doing great, Clare!" Brian proclaimed. "Soon the doctor will be here to help."

"Not soon enough. I'm gonna go find him or drag another doctor in here who can help." I decided. I couldn't just stand here and watch Clare struggle. There had to be more I could do for her. This was the answer. Just like I needed help the night we went ice skating and Ringo tracked us down. Only now I was capable of finding that help on my own instead of waiting for it to come for me.

"Please hurry!" Clare groaned.

As I meandered past the maternity wing I was hit with a sort of sense of familiarity. Perhaps it was the smell or the air, but there was something in the atmosphere that reminded meof comfort and security. Home. Innocence. Odd to feel that way in a hospital. I just couldn't put my finger on the cause of this out of place vibe.

"Sir, you need to disinfect before you go in there, and can I see some ID please?" A man in scrubs stopped me as I approached the door at the end of a long hallway. Reading the sign accompanied by the image of a red stop sign explained everything. The maternity wing was attached to the child and prenatal quarantine section for sick babies. I had no solid memories of it, but I knew that area very well. It was where I took my first steps, said my first word, and went blind. I spent nearly the first three years of my life behind that door. Would Hazel have to endure that fate as well? I shuddered.

"Sir?" The man repeated. I snapped out of my line of thoughts. Clare needed me. Hazel was about to be born.

"Are you a doctor?" I blurted.

"I'm in my residency, but_—"_

_"—_Good enough! I need you to deliver a baby."I exclaimed before he could protest and led him to Clare's room ignoring his hesitations.

"That's not Dr. Andrews." Brian frowned.

"There is no time. Baby is crowning!" The nurse announced as Clare screamed.

"Okay." The resident exhaled. "They covered this in med school." He looked like he was on the verge of passing out. Or maybe I was just projecting.

"I'm Erik_—_I mean Dr. Prince. Sorry. First day. But don't worry. I'm going to take good care of you. Deep breaths and push for me please." He sounded shaky but Clare had her eyes shut and didn't seem to notice. "Keep going! I can see the baby! You're almost there! Push! Push! Push!" Clare screamed louder than I had ever heard her, but it was soon accompanied by the sound of crying. The nurse applauded as the resident caught the baby. Clare stopped screaming and took deep breaths eventually opening her teary blue eyes.

"Congratulations! You have a beautiful baby girl. And it sounds like she's got quite a pair of lungs." Erik cut the umbilical cord and handed Hazel over to the nurse to be bathed and weighed. Now that I knew Clare was okay I could get a better look at my daughter.

It was difficult for me to grasp everything all at once. I had seen Robert and Azalea as newborns but not at the moment of their birth. So Hazel was somewhat foreign to my new eyes. She was covered in blood and other strange slimes. Mini dark curls framed the top of her head. Her eyes were clamped shut and she was crying her little heart out.

"Seven pounds on the dot!" The nurse marked.

"Lucky seven." Brian laughed. "Oh she's absolutely perfect!"

Hazel just wouldn't stop crying even after she was cleaned off and given the all clear by the nurse. That was it. The sobbing baby girl was healthy and good to go. Why wasn't I rejoicing? This was all so surreal, like I was watching somebody else's life and not my own. None of it really clicked even as the pink bundle was passed around between Brian and Clare and the others who began to arrive like my Mom and the Mercuries and the Deacons.

"Can I hold her? Can I hold her?" Azalea stood on her tiptoes to get a better look at the baby in Brian's arms. Our baby. Holy shit. I was a father.

"Maybe later." Brian dismissed. "Roger didn't even get a chance to hold her yet."

"I didn't?" I snapped out of my trance, accepting that this wasn't a dream. Okay I was about to hold my daughter for the first time, and look into her eyes (and actually see her). I definitely was not prepared for the onset of emotions as I took in the moment on a strictly visual level. I was looking down at my daughter's face.

"She looks like you, Bri." I observed. "Has your nose and mouth. Oh how cute!" Hazel was still crying so her eyes were difficult to make out. "Shush, you little drama queen." I teased her. "You've literally been crying your whole life. You know that?" I gently kissed her soft flubby baby cheek. "That's okay. You can cry if you want. It makes a bad first impression, but we still love you." I held her closer, taking in her sweet innocent baby smells. "I love you, Hazel." I cooed. "I'm so happy to see you and meet you. I wish you were a bit happier to see me, but the important thing is that you can see me."

At last she stopped crying and looked up at me. Blue eyes just like mine stared right back at me. I nearly melted. "My little angel." I hummed in content.

The now quiet baby was passed around some more until she ended up back with Clare. "Oh wow! Look at that! Her eyes are blue like ours! Did you see that, Roger?" Clare proclaimed.

"Yeah, she's absolutely beautifu--Wait. You see blue!" I gasped. "Clare, you're not colorblind!"

"I'm not?" Clare blinked. "Oh my God! The blanket is pink! I see in color!"

"That's wonderful, darling!" Freddie congratulated. "Is your soulmate the sexy doctor who was leaving as we came in? I love a man in uniform and scrubs count as a uniform."

Jim surprisingly didn't get jealous and nodded. "He was good looking but I reckon he's straight if he's Clare's soulmate."

"It must be the resident then." I concluded. Without saying another word, I rushed out into the hallway in search of Erik. Clare deserved her happily ever after especially when she was such na interval part of ours. It didn't take too long to track Erik down. I found him washing his hands, mumbling to himself about blood being red. Ah, he was the one if he was also seeing color for the first time. "Hey!" I hollered. "I found your soulmate."

"You did? You know who she is!" He glanced over his shoulder nervously. "I'm not really supposed to take breaks, but can you take me to her?"

"Of course." I led him back to Clare's room. "Oh wait. You're the lad who wanted me to deliver his baby." He realized. "That was crazy! This first day is throwing all sorts of unbelievable things at me."

As we made our way back into the room, I got an update on Hazel. She had fallen asleep on Brian's lap and appeared very snuggly and secure in her pink blanket. What a precious baby!

"Ooh. You were right, Freddie. He is handsome!" Mom blurted making Clare flush in embarrassment.

"Erik Prince, meet your soulmate, Clare Taylor." I introduced.

"Oh my God! My soulmate is literally Prince Erik from the Little Mermaid!" Clare cried.

"I'm so proud. Both my kids' soulmates are doctors." Mom grinned.

"I'm not that kind of doctor." Brian corrected.

"Doesn't matter. I still have bragging rights. I get to tell all my friends that my boy married and doctor and now Clare's gonna marry a doctor, too. It's every parent's dream." She exclaimed making me roll my eyes. I was obviously a lost cause, but it was sexist that Mom's only ambitions for Clare were marrying a doctor. Why not want her to become a doctor herself? I was almost a dentist, but for me anything beyond having a "normal" life was good enough.

I took in the fact that we were celebrating Hazel's arrival into the world rather than praying for her survival. Hazel had already surpassed my expectations in that regard. I watched her peacefully sleep and found myself lulled into ease as well. She was everything I could ever ask for, and I would make damn sure she knew how loved she was.That was the least I could do for her.


	49. Promise Not to Wake me Till it's Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new parents need sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a UTI and it really sucks :( School starts Monday but I'm choosing to go online. 3/5 of my profs have opted to go fully online anyway so I figure I'll just Zoom in for the other 2 instead of risking my life (yes there's literally a waiver to sign in order to go back on campus acknowledging that I risk getting COVID and possibly dying). I have a prof who's around Brian's age so like at least 72 and he's opting to teach in person. I'm genuinely scared for him. Maybe I'm overreacting. IDK. Anyway, here's a new chapter:

_Brian's POV_

I managed to get about two hours of sleep. Then at around 3:39 in the morning the baby monitor went off...again.

"I'll take care of it." Roger said. "Go back to sleep."

I was much too tired to protest. When I opened my eyes again it was half past seven. Being well rested for the first time in a while was refreshing. It was only fair that I took my turn with Hazel now although the baby monitor was quiet for once. "I'm gonna go check on her."I realized I was talking to an empty bed. "Roger?"

I found him in the living room, lying flat on his back with Hazel sprawled on his tummy. There were dark bags under Roger's blue eyes but he was smiling. "Look Bri, she's able to lift her neck on her own! Such strong muscles our baby is building." He gently turned Hazel back over because it was uncomfortable for her to be in that position for too long. "I think that's enough exercise for now. We'll do it again later." The duo made eye contact as Roger spoke and even though Hazel didn't respond she appeared very alert. What a bright baby! She really was the perfect little girl.

"Were you awake with her for all these hours?" I cried. What happened to taking turns so we could maintain a healthy sleep cycle?

"I dunno how long it's been. We dozed off for little ten minute intervals." Roger yawned. "We went through two nappy changes and a feeding so maybe it's been a while. Here, can you hold her so I can make some coffee? I think I need it."

I gladly took Hazel from him. When she was transferred into my arms she responded with a series of babbling baby noises. The wonders of communication. "Yes, good morning, my shining star!" I smiled down at her. No matter how sleepy I felt, precious Hazel made it all worthwhile. "I think your Papa could use a nap." I told her. "Do you wanna spend the morning with Daddy while Papa catches up on some sleep?"

"I don't need sleep." Roger huffed as he shakily poured some milk alongside the one and 3/7th sugars in his coffee mug. Wait that wasn't normal milk. "Roger, that's Hazel's formula!" I exclaimed.

"Oh shit!" He stammered. "I uh totally meant to do that. Y'know it's so much better than your dairy free vegan creamer crap."

"Roger, you need to go to bed. This isn't healthy. I can watch Hazel." I insisted.

"I'm not tired, my eyes are new so I confuse normal milk with formula and...I'm so fucking tired." He admitted. "But what if she misses me and I'm fast asleep? What if she doesn't know where I am? What if she needs me? I need to stay awake so we can play and I can watch her be cute...and...and..." Roger yawned but fought against his exhaustion. "I've gotta stay awake cause when my eyes are open I see her. A-And I don't wanna lose that."

Hazel made more baby noises and I sighed sympathetically. "You're overtired, love, and it's bringing out your fears and emotions. Hazel will still be here when you wake up and you'll be able to see her. I promise you can stare at her sweet baby face all day long. Now let's get you to bed before you pass out from lack of sleep."

"Hazel, I'm just gonna go to bed for a little while." Roger again looked her in the eye and spoke to her like she could understand. "But Daddy is going to take good care of you and I'll be back soon. Please don't forget about me."

"Usually it's the baby who has separation anxiety." I joked. "To bed with you, Roggie. Hazel and I can manage on our own."

***

I enjoyed my time bonding with Hazel. Of course sharing the responsibilities with Roger was fun too, but there was something special about doing it on my own. Roger could be a bit of a baby hog. Here I got the little princess all to myself. I sang to her, fed her, and decided to babe her after a nappy change.

"No, Hazel! Rubber duckies aren't food. Take it out of your mouth please." I removed the toy from her mouth but that made her cry.

Naturally, Roger came rushing out of the bedroom. I doubted he got any sleep. "I'm here! Don't you cry, baby girl! I'm here!" He took Hazel out of the water and cradled her, calming her down. "What happened, Brian? Why was she crying?"

"She tried to eat her rubber ducky and I ****took it from her so she'd stop. No reason to panic." I put the duck back down into the sink.

"Oh God!" Roger practically screamed. "Why isn't she looking at the duck? Can she not see it? Hazel, look at the duck in the water! Please! Notice it!" The baby just stared up at him curiously instead of down in the sink. Roger was almost at the point of crying now and I wasn't sure if I was amused or concerned.

"Object permanence." I reminded him. To demonstrate I brought the duck back out of the water and put it at Hazel's eye level. She smiled and made a grab for it. Then when I removed it from her field of vision, she became disinterested. "I know what you're thinking, Roger, and it's not that heaven forbid. Her eyes are working fine. You need to calm down. Hazel's a healthy happy girl." I assured him. "Now can you let me finish giving her a bath please?"

Roger sighed. "Sorry, Brimi. I just thought..." Roger and Hazel's blue eyes locked. Our baby certainly wasn't suffering from any vision issues thank goodness. "Let's finish up that bath." Roger composed himself.

After the bath, Hazel took a quiet nap in her baby swing set. Roger spent our first "alone time" in ages, just staring at her as if he were afraid he'd blink and she'd be gone. Then the doorbell rang, but thankfully Hazel stayed sound asleep. We weren't expecting anyone, so it was quite a shock to see Clem at the door. Roger was too distracted by Hazel to notice his uncle's spontaneous appearance.

"Clem, what are you doing here?" I tried to be warm and invited him in. The two of us had our differences, but wanted to get along for Roger's sake because we had that in common.

"Didn't Roger tell you? I'm in town for Keiko's family reunion. She has family in the Americas and Asia so we met in the middle here in Europe. Worked out for me cause I get to see you and Rog and the new baby." He explained. "Can't wait to meet her. Where's little Hazel?"

"She's sleeping, so you'll have to be quiet." I warned as I led the way. "Roggie, look who's here!" I announced.

"What?" Roger turned around and despite the tiredness in his eyes they still lit up when he saw Clem. "Uncle Clem! What are you doing here?"

"You don't remember?" Clem frowned. "Keiko's having a family reunion here in London."

"Oh yeah...That's next week." Roger stammered.

"No, it's this week." Clem stated. "You doing alright, Roger? Getting enough sleep?"

"We're both exhausted." I justified. "You know how new babies can be."

"Ahh, is that her?" Clem observed Hazel sleeping in her swing. "She's so beautiful! I don't think I've ever seen a newborn with a full head of curls like that. What a cutie!"

"Yeah, her hair has been growing a lot faster than we expected. We're gonna take her to Jim soon for her very first haircut." Roger told him. I tucked my hair back behind my ears self consciously.

"How is she? Fussy? Quiet? Playful?" Clem asked.

"She's surprisingly alert. Can't interact much yet but she seems very aware of us." I said.

"She's an absolute angel." Roger cooed. "Her little cousins complain that she's boring because she just sleeps, eats, and poops all day but I think she's the perfect baby and I couldn't be more grateful."

Just then Hazel opened her eyes and started to cry. Roger got her out of the swing and gave her her bottle shushing her gently. A yawn escaped from Roger's mouth as he burped the baby.

"I doubt you've been getting much sleep." Clem observed. "You want me to take over so you can nap?"

"I just took a nap." Roger blurted as I admitted "A nap would be lovely."

"I really don't mind. You both seem super tired." Clem offered. Truth be told we both needed all the sleep we could get. So long as we had the baby monitor to check in on Clem and Hazel I had no problems.

"I'm wide awake and I need to be with Hazel." Roger said stubbornly.

"Alright, but just remember to take care of yourself in addition to the baby." Clem said. Why was he suddenly the voice of reason?

"He's right, Roger. We need our rest. Let's go to bed. Clem can care for her for an hour or two." I gave into the temptation.

Roger shook his head. "I can't. Please don't make me. I don't wanna go to bed."

"Who's the baby in this situation?" Clem teased. "You can trust me with Hazel. You know you can."

"I know that. It's not about you. I just...I don't wanna wake up and—and not be able to see her." Roger stammered.

Poor little thing. Still boggled down by these irrational but nonetheless warranted fears. Having sweet little Hazel as a ray of sunshine staring up at him only reminded him of what he had to lose.

"Roger when you're under pressure and working on very little sleep it's easy for your mind to play tricks on you and to resort back to your insecurities and fears." I said. "But it's gonna be okay. What you need is to relax. When the last time you just let me hold you and sing you to sleep without a care in the world? Mmm, doesn't that sound nice?" I hummed reminiscing on our lost sex life. Then I realized Clem was still in the room and I felt awkward.

"You shouldn't be afraid to go to sleep, Roger." Clem said. "You'll still be able to see when you wake up. I know you will."

Roger sighed. "Just a little while." He hesitantly agreed. "Hazel, you be a good girl for Uncle Clem."

As if she understood, Hazel didn't cry when Roger handed her over. She made a few baby noises and then put her hand in her mouth seeming more fixated on the taste of her fingers than us going to bed.

"Thank you, Clem. We really need the rest." I said, subtly placing down the baby monitor.

"It's no trouble at all. She's adorable." He replied.

Despite Roger's anxieties, he fell asleep within seconds of hitting the pillow. The sleep thankfully seemed like a peaceful one as he snuggled up against me. Right as I was about to join him in sleep, I heard Clem talking over the baby monitor.

_"Oh yes you're a real sweetheart. It's so nice to meet you Hazel. Let me tell you, you're one lucky baby. You have the best daddies in the world. Roger loves you so much he can't look away from you and I bet Brian loves you more than his badgers. They really are the best and they'll raise you well. I'm a bit more bias towards Roger I'll admit but I think you're gonna take after Brian more. You kinda look like him. I hope you end up as smart and kind as him. Usually people with brains like that aren't so nice but Brian's probably the most generous guy out there. Plus he's clever enough to see through all my lies. I wish he could tell that I am trying my best to start anew. I wanna get along better with him because he means the world to Roger. Brian definitely deserves Roger and takes such good care of him, so I know he'll be nothing but sweet and gentle with you. Oh and then there's Roger, your other daddy. You should be so happy to be his daughter. Let me tell you. He's something special..."_

"He sure is." I whispered casting my gaze back to my beautiful husband murmuring something about cars in his sleep.

Hazel was in good hands. Clem truly was reforming himself and I should put forth more effort to not be so cold. Anything to make Roger happy and not cause unnecessary drama (that was Freddie's role).

Over the baby monitor I listened to Clem tell Hazel a bedtime story and began to feel very sleepy myself. It was something about a muse, shapeshifter, siren, and hunter, but the details became fuzzy as I fell asleep.

The last thing I heard for sure was Roger mumbling in his sleep. "Hazel...Brimi...my perfect family."


	50. I've Lost My Shoe!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hazel is growing up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much here just lots and lots of soft fluff. That's it. Merp.

_Roger's POV_

Hazel sat upright in her playpen, completely disinterested in the toys that surrounded her. There wasn't much we could offer her because a lot of the toys were choking hazards. For now toy cars were out of the question. I sighed. "You know today is a very special day." I told her a bit hesitantly. "Daddy's going back to work today. So it's just gonna be you and me for a while. But don't worry. He'll be back later. We'll still miss him even though he's hanging out with his badgers and hedgehogs. Daddy has two jobs. One where he helps animals and one where he does space stuff." I heard the sound of the shower turning off, and I knew that Brian would be leaving us soon. Having him home these past few weeks was great. I wasn't sure how I'd handle everything on my own, but I was up for the challenge. I never imagined myself as a stay-at-home dad but now I couldn't picture my life any other way. 

"I've got a surprise for you, Hazel!" I announced earning her attention for a split second until she casted her eyes back down to her toes for some reason. I retrieved the present from the bag. "Gramma Winnie found these just collecting dust in the closet. They're old Braille blocks from when I was a baby. Hopefully you'll be more interested in them than all these other toys you don't play with. If you aren't, just pretend to be happy with them because Gramma Winnie is stopping by later to check up on us when Br--Daddy is at work." I snickered to myself, but then regretted even considering a dirty joke in front of sweet, innocent Hazel. "Sorry, baby, but you're way too young for me to tell you why I sometimes call him Daddy too." Oh God! I was going to have her corrupted soon enough. 

I placed the blocks into the playpen and watched as Hazel reached for them, examining them curiously for a few moments. Then she put them back down and randomly touched her elbow, getting much more amusement from that. Well as long as she was having fun and being cute. Hazel looked back up at me with an adorable small smile which she was likely mimicking from me. 

After that something miraculous happened and time stood still. The baby spoke. Loud and clear... 

"OH MY GOD!"

Without thinking I rushed back to the bedroom where Brian was combing through his curls still wet from the shower. "Bri! Bri! Bri!" I exclaimed, waving my arms like a mad man because I was so fucking excited. 

"Roger? What's happened? Is Hazel okay?"

"S-She said her first word!" I squealed. "AAAAAH! It's so awesome! She spoke!"

"She did?" Brian gasped. "What was it? Tell me everything! How could I miss that?"

"She said 'merp.'" I proudly proclaimed. "What a smart girl we have. Already speaking."

Brian frowned. "That's not a word." 

"Yes it is." I insisted. "You're just bitter cause you weren't there to hear it."

"Whatever you say, love." He downplayed. As I protested him making light of this major accomplishment, he kissed my cheek. "I've gotta get going."

"Do you have to?" I followed him to the door like a lost puppy. Out of the corner of my eye (yes, I know how to use peripheral vision now and it's pretty great) I saw the playpen wide open and empty. Oh fuck! Maybe my peripheral vision still needed some work. I rushed back to the spot where I left Hazel and nearly screamed when I realized she was gone. Shit! The only clue left behind was Valentine nudging the playpen door open and closed with his nose. But that couldn't explain how Hazel had gotten out. She couldn't move on her own yet. All she could do was sit up, lie down, and hold toys within her reach. 

"Rog, have you seen my other clog?" Brian called, oblivious to the situation at hand. 

"Screw your stupid clogs, our daughter is missing!" I shouted. "Where is Hazel?" I continued to stare at the abandoned playpen as if I could will her to appear. I wanted to cry, and was nearly about to succumb to tears when suddenly Hazel emerged. She was crawling! 

"You're crawling!" I gasped. I watched her move awkwardly while dragging a clog with her hand. My jaw dropped. "Y-You just....You crawled!" Hazel seemed completely unaware of her accomplishment and was only satisfied in playing with the stolen clog. Blocks and dolls were out, but shoes were in apparently. "Merp." Hazel cooed again. 

Okay now I did cry. Cuteness overload. I couldn't handle it, but I didn't want to close my eyes. What if Hazel crawled away again? Ugh, now it would be a lot harder to keep track of her all the time. 

"Did that really just happen?" Brian laughed. "Our baby's growing up so fast!"

Hazel looked down at the clog in her hand then up at Brian. She hugged the shoe like the teddy bear she had discarded. "Silly girl. That's my shoe, not a toy." Brian told her. 

"Dada." Hazel responded. 

Brian's eyes widened. "D-Did you just?....Hazel, honey, you said Dada! I can't believe it! You said your first word!"

"Second word." I corrected. 

"You're just bitter cause she said Dada first." Brian grinned. 

"Merp." I replied. 


	51. Roger That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian makes a video

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not doing too well. I'm afraid law school is kicking my ass. Writing this chapter is very therapeutic. You'll notice this chapter has a different style. Just go with it and embrace the chaos 😜

Brian: Hi folks! Bri here again with another video for my SpaceBadgersClogsBlog. Thank you to all 39 of my subscribers. I thought you would be a bit disappointed with my last video because the guitar tutorial got interrupted due to a certain cute crying baby. But apparently you want to see more of the cute baby."

Roger: *emerges from cupboard* You called?

Brian: *facepalms* No, not you. The other cute baby. You know the one who's actually a real baby.

Freddie: *Appears out of thin air* Hello darlings! I have been summoned.

Brian: *Screams*

***

Brian: Alright. Take 2.Now today I have some cute baby HAZEL contentfor you.

Roger: *In background* Do you hear the way he treats me?

Brian: *Clears throat* Anyway in the last video I promised I would read the comment with the most likes. And that comment was made by my dear colleague, the brilliant scientist Dr. Pikachu:

**I want to write a comment HOW DO I COMMENT/ OH NO ALL OF THE LETTERS ARE STUCK IN UPPER CASE1 PLEASE HELP ME111**

Brian: In today's video I'm going to show youhow to feed a vegan baby.** ***Walks to table where Hazel is seated in a high chair* Here we have our hungry vegan baby.

Hazel: Dada!

Brian: A very cute vegan baby. Now you're probably asking yourself: What do you feed a hungry vegan baby? Well I happen to have the answer. You feed her vegan baby food. Today is a very special day because it is the first time Hazel will be having a meal other than formula. And I wanted to capture the moment on camera and share it on my blog.

Hazel: Dada!

Brian: Yes!What a smart girl! We need to fuel that brain with healthy nutrients. So now we must go to the pantry to retrieve a can of vegan baby food. *Opens cupboard*

*Roger emerges with can of baby food*

Brian: In case you're wondering, Roger was able to find these premade vegan baby meals in a can at the super market. You can too! It's usually in the organic aisle with the other**— ***Looks at can* Hang on! Roger, this isn't vegan. It's strained peas and carrots with puréed chicken."

Roger: New eyes who dis?

Hazel: Papa!

Roger: See Brimi I told you she doesn't want to be vegan.

Brian: Even still we shouldn't be feeding her meat until she's a bit older. Read the can. It's recommended for infants six months or older.

Roger: Who the hell reads cans? Unless the label's in Braille you can just go by the little picture on it. See? There's chicken, peas, carrots, and a smiling baby. Looks good to me!

Hazel: Papa!

Roger: Awwww! Yes! You're a happy baby. Yes you are! Such a cute girl! *Picks her up* *Recoils* Oh no! You need a nappy change! *Hands her to Brian*

***

Brian: Take 3. So we don't have any vegan baby food in the house but that is not a problem at all. Homemade food is healthier anyway. Let me show you how to make your own vegan baby food for a vegan baby.

*Takes out ingredients*

Here we have a can of chickpeas, a carrot, and a celery stick. What you need to do is put the chickpeas into the blender. Then cut the celery and carrots into itty bitty pieces and put them in the blender as well. Now watch and observe the magic of the blender. *Presses button*

*Nothing happens*

Brian: What the f--

***

Deaky: *Examining blender* Ahh, I've found your problem, Bri. Now I'm not expert or anything. But I'm pretty sure you need to turn the blender on in order for it to work. *Plugs in blender*

Brian: *Nods* Yes that makes perfect sense. Always remember to turn your blender on when you want to use it. Roger that!

Roger: Huh?

Brian: *Sigh*

***

Brian: Alright, so here we have our 100% vegan baby food all blended into a liquid that Hazel can safely eat. Let's go feed her. *Walks over to Hazel's high chair*

*Hazel is not there*

Brian: Oh no! Where's Hazel?

Roger: You were taking too long and she got fussy. So I fed her some formula and put her down for a nap. There's no real rush to get her to eat real food. Baby formula is still good for her and she likes it. As long as we have her starting to transition to real food by the time she's one I think we'll be alright. 

Brian: Roger that!

Roger: What? 

Brian: Well folks, I hope you liked this video. Be sure to subscribe if you did and leave a comment or two. I want to know what you thi--

Roger: You do realize you're not recording, right?

Brian: Of course I'm recording. *Looks at phone*. NOOOOO!!!!!


	52. Rain is Pouring Through your Window Pane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hazel learns another new word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wohoo! Labour Day Weekend!!! I've officially survived 3 weeks of law school (hence, the less frequent updates). Hopefully by the time I put this out it'll be Freddie's birthday. Nothing new to report here. Just super stressed and have a lot to do and read but needed to write something quick and mindless because procrastination.

_Roger's POV_

I thought there could be no bigger joy than experiencing all of the sights that I had missed out on my entire life. I was wrong. Now that I saw pretty much everything there was to see, I realized that I had been missing out on something even more special. That was reliving the thrills of seeing everything for the first time through the eyes of my daughter. I perched myself up against the window with Hazel squirming on my lap fixated by everything going on outside. 

"You see that, Hazel? That's a car! That's one of the best things you can ever see." I explained. "Can you say car?"

"Papa." Hazel responded. 

I grinned. "Cute girl." Was I still slightly upset that she learned Dada first? Maybe a little. But now she was saying Papa a lot so it wasn't worth bickering about. "Look, there's Auntie Clare's car. She's coming to visit us." 

Hazel just stared at me cluelessly. Then she started to cry at the sound of the doorbell and Valentine barking. "Aww, sweetheart, it's alright. That just means Auntie Clare is here." I carried her over to the door to let Clare in. When Hazel saw Clare and Valentine calmed down, she stopped crying. 

"Awwwwww, she got even more adorable how is that possible?" Clare exclaimed. "Come here, Hazel." 

"PAPA!" Hazel whined as she was transferred into Clare's arms. 

"Hazel, honey, be nice and let Auntie Clare hold you. She held you in her tummy nine months so it's the least you can do."

Eventually Hazel was soothed and stopped struggling to get away from Clare and back to me. Clare didn't seem to mind. "So she learned your name." She observed. 

"Papa, Dada, and Merp." I reviewed her vocabulary. "We're trying new words, but you can't really force her to learn. She'll start talking more eventually. There's plenty of time." I wasn't concerned with Hazel's progress at all. She was a bright girl. Even when Brian was at work or not around she'd say Dada if she saw a pair of clogs or the Red Special. So that was very impressive. I was sure she associated things with me too. I just couldn't think of any examples off the top of my head. 

"What are you doing?" I gasped as Clare turned on the telly while Hazel was nestled her on lap. I quickly turned it off. "Brian says we can't let watch TV until she's at least one or else it'll slow down her development and learning process."

Clare rolled her eyes. "Brian's not here right now. I want my niece to be well versed in Disney. You said you needed help babysitting since Bri's at work anyway. I can think of nothing better."

"Merp!" Hazel yelled excitedly and clapped her hands when the TV came back on. I loved it when she smiled and giggled like that. Oh well. "As long as Brian doesn't know." I agreed and sat down next to them. 

Hazel spent the next hour and a half glued to the screen watching Elsa's every move with wide eyes. I had never seen her so mesmerized before. 

"And that was Frozen!" Clare applauded. "Did you like it, Hazel?"

"Elsa." The baby replied. I gasped. "Elsa!" She said again. "Elsa!" 

"So that's a yes." Clare giggled. 

"ELSA!" Hazel screamed when Clare turned off the telly. I glared at Clare when the baby threw a tantrum. "What the hell have you done, Clare?" 

***

_"I sit alone and watch your light..." _I sang softly to Hazel as she watched the rain pour out the window. She was almost asleep when suddenly...

Brian walked in completely soaked, shaking the raindrops out of his curls like a wet poodle. Hazel's eyes fluttered open. "Dada?" 

"Aww, my baby girl! I couldn't stop thinking about you today while we were busy building rockets. I'd fly to the moon and back for you, my sweet Hazel." Brian cooed. He gave me a smile and a kiss on the cheek. "Was she good for you today, Rog?"

"Elsa!" Hazel blurted before I could say a word. Fuck! "Oh my silly girl, you mean Dada." I told her, laughing off the new word. 

"Elsa!" Hazel said again. 

"Where'd she learn that?" Brian laughed. 

"Clare came over. Read her the Snow Queen." I said smoothly. "She really likes Elsa from the book."

"Uh-huh." Brian answered skeptically. He walked over to the telly. Hazel wiggled in my arms excitedly. "ELSA!" 

"Brian, don't break your own rule." I played it cool as he turned on the TV. 

"Roger, why does it say that you recently watched Frozen on Disney Plus?" Brian asked. 

"ELSA!" Hazel screamed. 

"It was Clare's idea." I muttered. 

"There's no Elsa in the Snow Queen book. Caught you red handed." Brian said. He shrugged. "I guess there's no real harm done. Hazel learned a new word. But let's try to keep her screen time limited. Alright?"

"Thanks for not being mad." I gave him a hug. 

"Elsa." Hazel said again. 

"I'm sure she'll grow out of this new found obsession soon." Brian sighed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it go.


	53. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian is depressed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a request to do a chapter about Brian's depression, so here goes!

_Brian's POV_

I believe the first time I was consciously aware of it was when I was around 11 or 12 years old. Nothing really triggered the event. I just didn't feel like getting out of bed or really doing anything. It wasn't simply lazing on a Sunday afternoon though, it lasted for several days. Motivation to do anything was lacking and obligations were monotonous and torturous. The days blended together, becoming meaningless. 

Then Deaky came into my room with flashcards filled with his spelling words asking me to test him. Even this simple act seemed like a chore because I couldn't find interest and struggling to find the love for studies something I usually enjoyed made me more frustrated. "You're sad." Deaky observed. 

"No." I replied. "I don't feel anything."

Five minutes later, Deaky returned and threw peanuts at me. "Do you feel that?" He asked. I couldn't tell if he was taunting or not. Frankly I didn't care. "No! No!" Freddie rushed into the room. "No, my darling, not like that." Out of nowhere Freddie punched me in the face, hard. "Like that. See? You really want to make sure he feels it." Damn, those bloody boxing lessons paid off. 

"What the hell, Freddie?" I shouted. "MIAMI! FREDDIE HIT ME!"

Anger! I finally felt something. It was good to be back into a normal emotional spectrum. So I shrugged those few days off as an anomaly. Until they kept repeated and repeating. 

Now that I know I have depression it's to be expected that these days arrive. I expected less of them as I got older and especially that I've found the love of my life. That what makes it so much worse when these moods hit me. I'm happy. I have everything I could ever want and more. So then why do I feel so overwhelmed and lethargic? Asking myself why I feel this way and not having the answer only sends me into a deeper spiral. That simply brings out the self loathing. You have no right to wallow when there's nothing to mope about. Nothing even happened. Get over it. 

"Bri?" Roger nudged me and I rolled over onto my side. It was afternoon on a Saturday and I was still in my pajamas. Never a good sign. He probably hated me. Here I was lying here offering nothing when he was taking care of Hazel and being an absolute angel. Why couldn't I just get up and help him? Did Roger even want my help? Did he even want me?

"I'm taking Hazel on a field trip to Garden Lodge. You should come with us. It'll be nice to get out and have some fresh air. It stopped raining finally so we better hurry." He said. 

I yawned. Why didn't I feel compelled to go? This was my husband and daughter. I needed to be there for them. "Fine." I sighed and forced myself up. I wanted to be interested in this but I was only feigning it. I continued to ask myself: What's the problem? There is none. So I should just shut up and be happy for once. Everything was good. So why wasn't I feeling good? 

"Badgers."

"What?" I looked to Roger at the mention of one of my favorite words. He grinned. "There you are. Welcome back. Anyway, if you were listening, I just wanted to tell you that I need your help getting Hazel in the carseat cause she's being all squirmy."

"Sure thing." I murmured. I picked Hazel up and tried to lock her into the carseat but she kept struggling against me and waving her arms about. "What are you doing, Hazel?" I asked her. 

"Elsa." She replied as if that made sense. 

"Probably trying to make it snow." Roger reasoned. Then a smile suddenly emerged on his face, almost bright enough to melt through this thick depression. "This winter Hazel will see snow for the first time! It'll be her first Christmas! She'll see it all for the very first time! The lights, the Christmas trees, the--"

"--Slow down, Rog, it's only September." I regretted saying that because it washed away that sweet smile. 

"I like seeing her see things for the first time." He admitted. "It's like eyesight-ception or something." 

How the hell could I be depressed right now? Roger was so cute and Hazel was perfect. Besides, Roger had real reason to be depressed in the past. I never experienced that darkness and had no idea how frightening it could be. If I told Roger that I had non existent problems that were creating problems he'd just laugh at me._ 'You're eyes work, so shut up and be grateful' _Something bitter like that. 

I stayed lost in a prison cell of my own creation for the rest of the afternoon. Relaxing in the garden should have taken my mind off things, but they didn't I just sat watching Roger and Freddie laughing it up like school children. Could I offer Roger that kind of laughter? No I was much too strict to make him giggle and guffaw like that. But how could I lighten up? Each time I tried I couldn't and only made matters worse. 

"You'd think they were soulmates." Jim observed as Freddie and Roger continuously giggled. The Irishman offered me a lemonade. "Strangely enough I'm not even jealous. I just find it adorable."

Jealousy wasn't something that entered my mind. I was more upset that I couldn't offer Roger those kinds of laughs, but that had nothing to do with Freddie. Then Freddie, the ever affectionate prince, put his arm around my Roggie. Roger nestled himself against Freddie's shoulder in a cuddle and the two continued to smile and laugh. Maybe I was missing something here. Roger was faithful. I trusted him. And Freddie was just Freddie. Still something made my blood boil. Oh my God! Freddie grinned and winked at me. "You feel something, Brimi?" He asked. 

Holy shit! "Yeah I feel something. I'm mad as hell." I was grateful for the feeling rather than the numbness. "Roger, are you doing this on purpose to get me jealous?"

"Maybe." Roger replied and stuck his tongue out. 

"Well it worked." I said. The anger was quickly followed by relief. Freddie applauded. "I knew that would work!" He exclaimed. 

"You good, Brian?" Roger asked. 

"Yeah." I exhaled. Then I laughed. "I think I'm good." Sometimes all I really need was a kick toward a reaction or an emotion other than all this foreboding gloom and emptiness. Now I could say I was feeling better. It was like a reset button. 

Before I could get too giddy at the revelation of feeling giddy again, there was a sudden crash from inside. It was followed by Phoebe's scream. "Oh dear!" Freddie cried. We all rushed inside to see what was happening. A china plate was cracked on the floor. Azalea poked her head out from beneath the tablecloth. Hazel was hiding there with her although I had no clue how she had gotten out of the play pen yet again. 

"I turn my back on the girls for a second and..." Phoebe was almost in tears and he cleaned up the mess of broken glass. 

"Azalea, darling, you need to apologize!" Freddie said firmly. 

"Hazel did it." She replied. 

"We don't lie and we certainly don't blame others for our actions." Jim said. "Hazel couldn't have done it. She's just a baby."

"B-But Hazel did it." Azalea repeated and began to cry. 

"Hazel didn't do this." Roger said. I agreed. There was no way. Hazel only knew how to crawl and was much too small to...The baby crawled out from under the table. She stumbled up, standing on her own two feet and yanked on the tablecloth. Another china plate came flying down. I was stunned. 

"Hazel Blue!" Roger shouted. 

"Merp." She replied and plopped back down and put her thumb in her mouth. 

"See? I told you!" Azalea insisted. 

I definitely didn't feel numb anymore, but my emotions were still questionable. I finally settled on shocked. This was certainly unexpected. Maybe that was why Roger and Hazel were so good at saving me from my own mind. They found knew and unexpected ways to surprise me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was decent. I'm just trying to stay sane here. Have a great day everyone! <3


	54. Don't Try So Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger is stressed. Brian is concerned. Hazel is cute.

_Roger's POV_

I refused to let Brian know how stressed out I was. Somehow I managed to keep everything under control the moment he returned home from work. All hell could break loose when he was gone. Hazel screaming. Valentine running away. Whatever sort of vegan monstrosity I was cooking for Brian's benefit setting off the fire alarm. All the chaos in the world could erupt. What mattered was what Brian saw. He couldn't know that I was a failure at this whole housewife thing. I needed to show him that I was capable. So at the end of the day, it was my goal to keep him clueless as to how awry things went throughout the day.

"A baby sleeping peacefully _and _a candlelit dinner for two? Wow! I don't know how you do all this, Roggie!" Brian proclaimed.

"Oh it was nothing." I downplayed, quickly discarding the take out box label Hungry Herbivore. "I made these veggie burgers just for you." More like received them from the delivery dude after my effort to make it from scratch failed. I was sure I could pull off this lie and come across as competent. Brian was good at everything. I had to prove to him that I was proficient too.

"Why does the kitchen smell like smoke?"Brian wondered.

I gestured to the candles. "Romantic ambiance." _It's not like I'm covering up the smell of smoke from my sad attempt to cook with even more smoke. _Yeah logic is more of Brian's thing.

"These are from Hungry Herbivore." Brian noted after his first bite. Fuck! "N-No...I um...got their recipe?" I sighed. "I'm not as good as you think I am, Bri."

"I think you're a god awful liar but you mean well and you know I love the veggie burgers from Hungry Herbivore. I just prefer your honesty." Brian said.

I bit down on my bit lip. Honesty was important but the truth was hard to swallow. Brian was talking about his research on Mars sounding so brilliant that I had no clue what he was talking about. I felt the urge to come clean and be forthright because Brian deserved to know that I was no expert on anything unlike him.

"I almost burnt down the flat. I mixed up the laundry bin with the rubbish bin and the garbage man almost confiscated all my socks. Valentine escaped and I had to chase after him to stop him from nearly getting hit by a car. At which point I realized I left Hazel home alone. She wouldn't stop crying until I finally got her down for a nap and that's when you came home." I rushed through the events of my day in one long breath. "I completely suck."

"You...What? How? Is Hazel okay? Is Valentine okay? Are you okay? Did you get your socks back?_" _I would say Brian's reaction was a mixture of shock and concern.

"I-I'm trying my best." I admitted. "But it's just not good enough."

"The flat didn't burn down. You rescued Valentine. And Hazel is sleeping peacefully." Brian pointed out. "If that's not good enough I'm not sure what is. You have got to be kinder to yourself, Roger."

"But I_—" _The baby monitor went off before I could say anything else. Hazel needed me. Without giving Brian an explanation, I rushed to Hazel's room to find her awake from her nap and crying. She quieted down when I picked her up.

"Shh. Shh. Did you have a good nap, baby?" I nearly squealed when she giggled in response in the cutest way imaginable. But that squeal gave way to a yawn.

"Speaking of naps," Brian approached, "Roger, you need sleep. I can tell. You're pushing yourself too much._"_

"Nonsense. I'm fine." I dismissed. "You work much harder than me and you're fine."

"It's okay, love. You're doing a great job with everything. I can take it from here. Please, don't try so hard. Your best is good enough." Somehow Brian managed to reassure me that it was okay to admit defeat. 

"One small nap." I reluctantly agreed. 

There was a time not too long ago that I was scared of shutting of my eyes and going back to the dark. Now I was too exhausted to care. I fell asleep almost instantly as soon as I hit the pillow. No nightmares of losing my loved ones to the black hole that consumed my sight. All peaceful. 

***

The nightmares sometimes did occur and they were bad. Brian, Hazel, everything completely gone overtaken by the darkness. I anticipated it even though it was infrequent now. What I didn't expect was to be on the other end of it. 

"ROGER!"

I opened my eyes and gasped when I found Brian nearly reduced to tears, shaking beside me as he held me. 

"Bri!" I cried. "Oh honey. What's the matter?"

"Bad dream." He murmured. "Y-You...you were gone, and Hazel too. Freddie, Deaky, everyone was gone. I-I couldn't see anything."

Having experienced that first hand both in nightmares and in real life, I was instantly able to empathize with him. "Aww. It's alright, baby. I'm here. It's alright. You can see now."

Brian seemed to calm down. "Sorry I woke you." he said eventually. "You were sleeping so soundly."

"No, don't worry about me. I just wanna make sure you're okay." I assured him. "Those dreams are pretty shattering. I'm sorry you had to go through that." 

"Honestly, I was more worried about you. When I came in here, you were already fast asleep, but the nightlight wasn't on." Brian gestured to the little lamp in the wall fixture that was turned off. Oh yeah. I used to need that in order to fall asleep. Eventually I just kept forgetting to turn it on. I guess I overcame that fear of the dark. 

"Bri, you fussy mother hen, you were so concerned about my fears that you projected them onto yourself and that's why you had my nightmare." I pulled him close. "But that's alright. I like having someone who cares about me so much. I just don't want to burden you."

"Since when were you such a psychologist?" He quipped. "And no, you're no burden, Roger. It's my fault for making a fuss."

We cuddled for a few more minutes without saying anything else until the baby monitor went off again. This time instead of incoherent screams it was easy to decipher that Hazel was calling out "Papa! Dada! Papa! Dada! Dada! Papa!"

"She really knows us." Brian grinned. 

I nodded. "It looks like both your babies are growing up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAHH! This chapter is horrible and makes no sense I know. Life is hard. Sorry. Gonna take Queen's advice and not be so hard on myself. Peace out!


	55. Defying the Laws of Gravity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian has a book launch. Roger is proud. Hazel is cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I managed to sneak in this chapter in between endless reading and studying. It was inspired by Brian's Owl stuff obviously. Hope you like it :)

_Roger's POV_

I didn't understand Brian's work at all, but I loved that it made him happy and gave me more time with Hazel. I tried my best to follow his explanations on the Mars research he was doing, but ended up getting so lost and frustrated. Instead I paid attention to sweet sound of his knowledgeable voice and that small smart smile across his lips as he spoke. I was proud to have such a brilliant husband even if I wasn't very invested in all of his projects.

One day however I got just as excited as Brian. The Mars Rover team uploaded new groundbreaking pictures captured on the red planet. My mind was blown. "Whoa! It's like the Grand Canyon but in space. Is that what Mars really looks like?"

"It does resemble a desert." Brian acknowledged. "Is this your first time seeing pictures of it? I thought I showed you some of the other footage captured over the years."

I shook my head. "Still trying to see pictures of everything on Earth before I move on to other planets."

"I think you've seen enough of Earth for now. Here, let me show you some of the files I have stored on my computer. You can see Mars from all different angles from the pictures taken by our rover. Fascinating stuff really. Not the same as actually seeing it the way the astronauts do, but this is as close as we'll get."

"Seeing is seeing." I stated staring at the photos on the screen in wonder. "I remember when we first met over the phone and I was still blind you told me about some of these pictures and how amazing they were. Back then Earth was another world to me. Now that things here are familiar to me I can start to see stuff in other worlds...in galaxies far far away." I giggled to myself as I relished the images. "I don't know, to me pictures are as good as the real thing, Bri."

He smiled as Hazel cooed softly, sleeping in her baby swing set. "There's something so alluring about you and Hazel seeing the world for the first time. I wish there was a way to reset my eyes so I could experience everything new again like a small child. It's a very special gift you have, Roger. I hope you know that. One day hopefully not too soon Hazel is going to grow up, and then she'll be just like the rest of us. She won't remember what it's like to have new eyes. You get to keep that feeling as an adult."

It was weird for Brian to be envious of something that actually set me back. "I never really thought of it that way." I dismissed, not wanting to shed anymore light on my previously unlit viewpoint.

***

"We are proud of Dada today." I told Hazel as she haphazardly played with her rattle. The baby had no idea where we were or what was happening, but she was content, and that was all that mattered.

"You brought Hazel?" Freddie squealed as he and Jim arrived. "Phoebe is home watching Azalea. I didn't think you'd be bringing your little one to Brian's book launch."

"Say hi Uncle Freddie." I prompted to Hazel knowing her vocabulary was limited to four words. "Elsa." She said her favorite one.

"How many times have you watched Frozen this week? Azalea made us watch Moana about 39 times in a row, so I feel your pain. Now where's Brimi? I wanna give him a hug and congratulate him. Fun fact I actually read his book this time!"

"It's all illustrations." Jim pointed out.

"Brian is over there." I pointed to the man of the hour who was talking over a glass of champagne with Deaky and another intellectual.

I continued to let Brian bask in his fame, admiring how scholarly he sounded when discussing his research.

"Hello again, Roger." Brian's scientist colleague, Dr. Pikachu adjusted his monocle. "So nice of the science museum to host this event."

I nodded. "Did you see their exhibit downstairs on the science and history of the automobile? That blew my mind. Hazel liked it too I think. She said my name when we saw a replica of the original Model T Ford."

"Papa." Hazel spoke up again.

"Oh the child talks now and appears to have grown tremendously. How fascinating. Although I shouldn't be surprised she's thriving so well. Her father is Dr. May. I only expect the best from those I associate with. Is she a year old now?"

Well Dr. Pikachu was still an elitist snob as usual, but at least he appreciated Brian and Hazel. "About 10 months." I told him.

"10 months." He echoed. "That's enough time to prepare a dissertation."

"She's 10 months old." I repeated nearly rolling my eyes.

"Papa!" Hazel reached her hands up toward me. I knew what that meant and it filled me with joy. I picked Hazel up and played "twirl in the air" with her, earning many happy baby giggles as I swung her very slowly and very gently from side to side. "Yes, you want attention, don't you, sweetheart. My beautiful, bouncing baby girl."

Hazel giggled some more but then something caught her attention. "Dada!" She pointed to something behind me. I turned around expecting to see Brian, but I just saw a portrait of a stern man with a wig a little less poofy than Brian's famous floof. "That actually does look like Brian. Kudos to the museum people for painting him looking all stern and sciencey for the event."

"I know you were blind most of your life, so I'll give you a pass." Dr. Pikachu interjected. "But you," He pointed obnoxiously to Hazel, "you ought to know better. How can you not recognize a portrait of Sir Isaac Newton. It even says his name on the frame."

"Dada." Hazel said again.

"No, Isaac Newton is not your father. Oh, children are so infuriating. I am so glad I grew out of my adolescent ignorance."

"She's ten months old." I stressed once again.

"Is everything alright over here?" The real Brian approached. "Are you having fun?"

"This is a museum, Dr. May. Not having fun is part of the fun." Dr. Pikachu proclaimed.

Meanwhile I looked at the portrait of Isaac Newton then back at Brian. It was a bit uncanny. "I think I'm married to Newton's reincarnation." I laughed.

Brian looked back at the Isaac Newton portrait in understanding of what I meant. "I'm flattered, Roger, really, but I don't see the resemblance at all."

"Dada." Hazel said again.

"Ah, my sweet Hazel Blue. Look at all these beautiful portraits of important people of science. We've got Isaac Newton, here, and Galileo over the--"

"Galileo!" Freddie randomly crooned from across the room. "GALILEO!" I shouted back. Brian face palmed. Dr. Pikachu shook his head coldly and walked away. 

"Why are Dr. Pikachu and some of your science friends so stuffy?" I asked. "They think just because they have superior knowledge on space and stuff it makes them better than the rest of us."

"It's just Dr. Pikachu and only a select few. Most scientists are very warm and compassionate from what I've seen. We just want to share our knowledge about the world that we've discovered through our research and experiments." Brian explained. 

"Well you did a great job inventing gravity." I teased. 

"What? I didn't--Oh." Brian understood what I was implying. "No, Roger, I'm not Isaac Newton. And Isaac Newton didn't invent gravity. He merely discovered it and derived a mathematical formula to calculate it and study it to establish rules for how it generally works." 

"That's exactly something Isaac Newton would say!" I exclaimed. 

"Uh-huh." Brian sighed. "So we're going to start the presentation soon. I want you and Hazel in the front row" He crouched down, and brushed his hand through Hazel's matching curls. "You're gonna be a good girl and watch Dada launch his new book."

"Merp." Hazel replied. 

"I'll try my best to keep her quiet. No guarantees." I assured him. 

Thankfully, the the presentation wasn't very lengthy. Hazel slept through most of it. Brian spoke a bit about the project, then he handed it off to the other space photographers and such. After that, he returned to the podium, I assumed to wrap things up. 

"Now with this book launch there is a bit of a surprise. You'll notice that when you purchase the book it comes with this curious device." Brian unveiled the weird eyewear thing he had been fiddling around with for the past several weeks. I still wasn't entirely sure what it was. When I asked him about his latest project he told me it was a surprise. 

"This is a stereoscopic viewing invention of mine I call the Owl. When you use it properly, you can see all the pictures in this book and on the cards provided as well in full 3dD almost like a virtual reality." Brian explained. "The main inspiration behind the Owl is to create an experience close to seeing images for the very first time because many of us don't get to feel that same excitement when everything is so brand new. So I ought to thank my husband and daughter for giving me the inspiration to go through with this project. I hope we can all enjoy it together. I've included in the book several picture cards you can use with the Owl as well. They're mostly pictures of animals and nature. So for instance the first picture is a badger. I figured if there's anything better than a badger, it's a badger in 3D." Brian demonstrated how the device worked.

Although he looked somewhat silly with the plastic goggles over his eyes, I just felt incredibly proud of my husband in that moment. I really lucked out finding somebody to love as special as Brian. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure when I'll be able to update again but I'll try my best. See you next time whenever that may be! <3


	56. Roger, What Did You Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger reconnects with an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAH! My birthday is Sunday. I have sooooo much schoolwork it's not even funny. The POTUS and FLOTUS have COVID. My sister is going to kill me because I pointed out all the ways she could get sued for negligence and breach of duty and now I realize I'm becoming THAT kind of lawyer. Ooops. So basically 2020 is a mood again. Anyway here's a new chapter about Crystal :D

Knowing Freddie (even now that he was a proud papa), I didn't expect one of his parties to be so...family friendly. Granted, it wasn't exactly his party. It was a cast party with the Royal Ballet celebrating a successful run of Swan Lake in London. The dancers all had their family members in attendance which surprisingly included lots of kids running around. Freddie alongside some makeup artists were face painting them.

At just ten and a half months old, Hazel probably wasn't suited for face paint. At least according to Brian, and he seemed to know a great deal about age appropriate activities for our baby. If I had listened to him I would've been spared the screaming for Elsa several times a day.

Still that didn't stop Freddie from taking Hazel out of her stroller and sitting her up on the makeup chair. "Jim, darling, help me with this one please!" The next thing I knew Hazel's mangled curls were scaled back into a braid much like the one Elsa would wear. "I found a stale Cheerio in her hair." Jim announced.

I shrugged. "Don't blame me she inherited the hair from Brian."

"Wow! Me next! Me next!" Azelea, with her face painted like a rainbow cat thanks to Freddie, jumped up and down excitedly at the idea of Jim styling her hair.

"Elsa." Hazel tugged at her new braid and in a matter of minutes it became undone. Brian thankfully got plenty of cute pictures before the tears started.

Not wanting to ruin the festive mood, I took Hazel outside and rocked her until she calmed down. "_Hush little baby don't say a word, Papa's gonna buy you a new Corvette...."_

"That doesn't really rhyme." A man with receding dark hair was leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette. "You're a good singer though. Kid's lucky to have such a good pops who sings to her." Was there something familiar about his voice? I had been less reliant on my ears these past two or so years, so it was hard for me to tell.

"Thanks." I replied.

He put out his cigarette. "Smoking's a nasty habit, I know, but what are you gonna do?" He justified. "Well back to the party."

I watched him go back into the room only to be bombarded seconds later with a shriek coming from Freddie. "CRYSTAL! Oh my darling! Where have you been this whole time? Get over here you son of a bitch and have a beer with me!"

"Good company." I assumed based on that reaction from Freddie. "Crystal" as Freddie called him seemed nice enough, but I still wasn't sure what was so familiar about him.

"Elsa." Hazel stated. I rolled my eyes and brought her back inside.

"Everyone, this is Crystal. He was my roadie when I toured with the ballet internationally." Freddie introduced. "Crystal, this is my family. My husband Jim and our little princess Azalea and my brothers and their spouses and kids."

"I'm Spider-Man!" Robert announced gesturing to his face paint.

"Wow! You really did it, Fred. You settled down. Good for you! Those days of wild partying can grow tiring after a while. I'm glad you found somebody to love, and it's great to meet your family. I'll tell you touring with the royal ballet just hasn't been the same without you, but if you're happy staying with the London crew, then I guess I can't complain." Crystal remarked. I shut my eyes hoping it would help me place where I knew his voice from.

"Is this party not crazy enough for your standards, Crystal, my dear?" Freddie laughed.

"Why do you have a girl's name?" Azalea blurted.

"Azalea, darling! That's not nice!" Freddie cried.

"It's fine. That's not my real name. Your daddy here just love to give his friends girl nicknames. Crystal stuck. My real name's Chris but nobody calls me that anymore thanks to Freddie officially dubbing me Crystal."

Chris? I gasped in realization. No. It couldn't be Chris Taylor, could it?

"I did officially dub thee. Highest honor her majesty can give." Freddie teased unaware that he could be speaking to my ex best friend.

Oh man! Was it really Chris? Did Chris know it was me? Would he be mad at me? Chris turned his back to get another beer. I wasn't 100% sure, but...

"69!" I shouted knowing I'd get his attention if he was who I thought he was.

Sure enough, he spun around. Then he grinned. "Roger? Holy shit! Is that you?"

"Chris!" I acknowledged.

"Roger!" He laughed, not a hint of ill-will. "_Look _at you! Y-You...Fuck! You can see me, right? Because this would be super awkward if you still couldn't—"

I hugged him knowing I was long overdue for an apology. Where to even begin?

"Wait you two know each other?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah, Roger is the best! Everything you could ever ask for in a friend. No offense, Fred." Chris told him. How could he still think so highly of me even after I abandoned him?

"Oh none taken. The only person who's better than Roger is Deaky but that's because he's Deaky and everyone loves Deaky." Freddie said and out of the corner of my eye I saw John nod with a cheeky smirk. Being Freddie's favorite made him cocky, but he was Deaky, so I couldn't fault him.

"So how do you two know each other?" Brian asked.

In typical Chris Taylor fashion, he unabashedly told my husband "I taught Roger all about 69." We both snickered at our little inside joke. Despite my unspoken betrayal lingering, it seemed like nothing had changed since we were teens apart from my newfound eyesight.

"You naughty boys!" Freddie snickered. "Did you used to date? How come I didn't know about any of this?"

Then Chris's smile faded. "Not really a time I like to look back on..." He muttered. I cringed, reminded again about what I did and how much of a disappointment I could be.

_I had a love hate relationship with school. On the one hand, it gave me my freedom and I got to meet people like me and finally be treated like a normal human_ _ being_ _. On the other hand, maths. Need I say more? I drummed my stylus against the desk mindlessly checking my Braille watch as I waited for the lunch hour_ _ bell._

_"Alright. Did anyone get the answer?" _ _Ms_ _._ _ Pelton called out. I_ _ heard her walking this way. Shit! She stopped right in front of my desk. "Roger, what do you have?" I felt her hand run across _ _my blank Braille _ _slate. "You didn't write anything down." Fuck!_

_"I-I need more time to figure it out." I stated as best I could. I hated maths so much. Numbers are dumb._

_"Really? Because it seems that you didn't even attempt the problem and I gave you all 30 minutes to work on it. What exactly have you been doing for the last half hour? If you needed help, why didn't you ask?"_

_'Because maths is stupid.' I thought defiantly. Of course I couldn't tell her the truth, that I was _ _busy _ _day dreaming and not bothering to do the problem. Why did I always seem to be the one to get called out?_

_I looked up when I heard the door to the classroom open. "Excuse me Ms. Pelton." That sounded like Vice Headmaster Davins. "Do you mind if I borrow Roger Taylor for the rest of class?"_

_I was probably in _ _even _ _more trouble for something, but I didn't care. This beat maths. Naturally, the classroom interrupted in a series of "ooohs" and hushed whispers and laughs. "He's not in trouble." Mr. Davins clarified. What the hell? For once I wasn't in trouble? The question was never what did I do right, it was always what did I do wrong. I guess the only question now was what did I do?_

_"Later suckers!" I snickered as I got up and gathered my slate and stylus, tapping Ringo to _ _let him know we were leaving class early._

_"Well now you are in trouble." Mr. Davins said. "Don't refer to your classmates as suckers, Roger. That's not nice. Apologize to them and Ms. Pelton."_

_Perks of being surrounded by fellow blind people, no one can see me roll my eyes. "I'm sorry." I said trying to sound genuine so I wouldn't get into any more trouble._

_"It's alright, Roger. Just remember to do the last three problems tonight for homework. You're dismissed." Ms. Pelton said._

_"So if I'm not in trouble, then why am I going to your office?" I asked Mr. Davins curiously_ _ as we rounded the corner to his office._

_Before he could respond, I heard a pair of unfamiliar voices talking amongst each other in the hall outside the office._

_"I don't know if he's ready for this." The first voice, a woman said. "Look how well adjusted these kids are. It hasn't even been a year since...since the accident. I think we should stick with the private tutor."_

_"No, this is good for Chris. He needs to get his life back on track. This will help him." The second voice, a man replied._

_"Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, I thought you had left already." Mr. Davins addressed them. "I know this is very difficult for both of you, but Chris is in good hands here with us and the best thing you can do for him now is give him the confidence he needs to become independent once again."_

_"You have the same name as my parents." I blurted, not sure what else to say to the strangers. "They're also Mr. and Mrs. Taylor."_

_"See, Chris is already gonna make a friend with something in common." The man said._

_"Chris can't see and that's the bloody problem!" The woman cried._

_"Nothing about this situation is easy for any of you and I understand." Mr. Davins said. "But this is the best thing for Chris. I've assigned Roger here as his buddy to help him get acclimated. Their lockers are next to each other _ _since they share the name Taylor, _ _and they're in the same homeroom. We'll do everything we can for Chris. You'll help him get adjusted, right Roger?"_

_"Sure." I responded._

_A new friend who could relate to me but also knew what it was like to see? I was totally on board. Unlike others, he wouldn't get annoyed when I pestered him with questions about what the world looked like because he knew the position I was in now. I was excited to get to know Chris first because in a matter of time he'd become the most popular boy in school without a doubt. Most "newly blind" kids were at the top of the social hierarchy here. They could tell_ _ the rest of_ _ us things about the world that we wouldn't know otherwise. Plus they could explain it in a way that non-blind people wouldn't be able to express. From what I knew Chris was the only newly blind in our yea_ _r. And I was assigned as his buddy. _ _How exciting!_

_"Roger and I can take it from here, Mr. and Mrs. Taylor." Mr. Davins said. I heard a sniffle, likely coming from Mrs. Taylor. What was it with mothers and letting their baby boys grow up?_

_"Roger, why don't you go in my office and introduce yourself to Chris while I talk to his parents some more." Mr. Davins instructed._

_"Yes sir." I stepped forward anticipating more space between me and the office door, but I felt Ringo sit down by my feet and realized that if I walked any closer I'd smack right into the door. "Good boy." I gave him a pet and made my way inside safely, hearing Mr. Taylor say something about getting Chris a service dog of his own._

_"Mom? Dad? Is that you?" A boy's voice asked, it sounded shaky like he was frightened._

_"Um no they're outside with the vice headmaster. My name's Roger Taylor. I'm your assigned buddy." I told him._

_"We have the same last name. I'm Chris." He replied. There was an awkward pause. "Does it get any easier?"_

_"Does what get any easier?" I asked._

_"You know." He lowered his voice as if revealing a secret. "Being blind."_

_Maybe Chris was too newly blind. I thought we'd be able to relate more but I could already sense those barriers I had when trying to bond with people with vision through no fault of their own. "You're allowed to say the word blind. I won't take offense. We're just like normal people and shouldn't be treated any differently." I found myself going into my usual rant when somebody didn't understand._

_"But we are different and you can't tell me otherwise because we know it's a lie." Chris cried. "Everything is so much more difficult now. I can barely even wipe my own ass. It's fucking pathetic. Didn't you deal with this same bullshit when you first went blind?"_

_"I would've had trouble wiping my own ass anyway. I was barely two years old when I went blind." I retorted. "Most people here don't have any memories of sight."_

_Chris went quiet again. "You don't even know what you've lost." He sighed._

_Mr. Davins returned. "Have you boys introduced each other yet? Chris, this is Roger. He's also a sophomore here. Roger, this is Chris, our new student. Make sure he feels welcomed and comfortable."_

_"Don't bother. I'll never feel comfortable being in the dark." Chris scoffed._

_"Chris, it's very normal to become depressed and frustrated after losing your sight, but we're going to work with you to help you become as enlightened as possible. Everyone here is in the same situation as you so we understand what you're g—"_

_"—None of you remember what it's like to see! So you don't know what it's like to lose your whole world! So please just stop lying!" Chris shouted and then he started sobbing._

_This was definitely not what I thought having a newly blind friend would be like. I felt so bad for Chris. It was heart wrenching._

_"Roger, why don't you go back to class. I'll handle this." Mr. Davins sighed._

_I couldn't just turn my back on Chris when he was crying like this. It felt wrong. Yeah I was always fucking up and getting myself into trouble but this time maybe I could help. So I started to sing._

_"...When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me_  
_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_  
_And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me_  
_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be..."_

_Chris with a hoarse voice surprisingly joined in on the chorus and we sang together._

_"...Let it be, let it be_  
_Let it be, let it be_  
_Whisper words of wisdom_  
_Let it be..."_

_"You're a Beatles fan?" Chris asked._

_"Beatles stan." I corrected._

_"Me too." He said. "I've always dreamed of being a roadie for them. Wouldn't that have been so badass? Imagine going on the road with the Beatles!"_

"And that's how this beautiful singing idiot made me smile again." Chris recounted, a tear dripping down from his eye. He patted me on the back. "Best friend that I've ever had right here."

"You were blind? How the hell did that happen? Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Freddie exclaimed.

"Like I said, don't really like to think about those godawful 3 years. Rog was the only thing good about it. That and I learned the very important lesson of not to mess around with fireworks. Pass that one on to all of your kiddos." He said.

"You were blinded by fireworks? That's so tragic. I'm sorry." Brian consoled.

Chris shrugged. "I was a dumb 14 year old kid. I'm just lucky I was able to get my sight back."

"But what about all that saucy 69 talk? Did you two have a blind date?" Freddie teased.

Chris and I met eyes for the first time and we both burst into laughter. "No it's about as innocent as it gets." Chris laughed.

_"So if I punch in 58008 like this, a person with sight would read it as BOOBS?" I giggled._

_"If you turn it upside down." Chris explained._

_I frowned trying to understand. "Numbers upside down spell dirty words? Vision is weird."_

_Just then Ms. Pelton entered the classroom and everyone quieted down. "Okay everyone we last left off on non linear equations. So let's all turn to page 69."_

_Chris started snickering. "What's so funny?" I whispered._

_"I'll tell you later." He promised._

"It blew my mind." I recalled with a laugh. "I thought how could a number look like a sex position. Now of course I can see what the number looks like and I've experienced the sex position with vision too."

"Okay, thats enough for you." Brian abruptly took the beer out of my hand and placed it on a tall shelf that I couldn't reach. Damn it! Maybe he had a point though. I was drunk enough to talk blatantly about our sex life in public even in front of the kids. Well Azalea and Robert were playing hide and seek under the table and not paying attention. But Hazel was listening to all of this with her blue eyes wide open attentively.

"Anyway, Rog, I should apologize to you." Chris blurted out of nowhere. "After my surgery was successful I just left you without saying goodbye or anything. I wrote you one Braille letter after three years of you being my friend and helping me so much and then I never made anymore contact. That was so wrong of me. I'm so sorry. I thought you would hate me for getting my sight back and things wouldn't be the same."

"Wait. You're apologizing to me?" I cried. "No, Chris. I was the one who let you down. The truth is I was in a really really bad place mentally when my last eye surgery failed. I didn't bother reading your letter, I threw it away. By the time I got back into a proper head space to reach out to you, I was scared it was too late and you hated me for abandoning you and completely ghosting you."

"You didn't ghost me. I ghosted you." Chris exclaimed.

"Awww, you two are idiots and it's so adorable." Freddie squealed. He climbed up onto the shelf and retrieved my beer, handing it back to me. "Cheers to rekindling the friendship between you morons."

The night ended with me and Chris catching up after all these years, both happy for each other getting our sight back and doing well. Freddie of course couldn't resist face painting Lightning McQueen on my cheek after I drunkedly recounted how I once got a Lightning McQueen face painting at Clare's birthday party as a kid and tried to touch it to see it and ended up just smearing it. Chris held up the mirror for me to take in the sight with my new eyes. "Looking good, Roger!"

"My inner 10 year old is screaming right now. Thanks, Freddie." Maybe it was the beer and nostalgia of reconnecting with a long lost friend, but I found myself getting teary eyed. Good tears, of course, just overwhelmed by the warmth of the moment.

"You're always screaming, Roger." John pointed out, catching the tears with a napkin so they wouldn't stain Freddie's work.

"I hate to ruin this perfect moment." Brian interjected, "But it's way past this one's bedtime." Hazel was fast asleep in his arms. "We should get going."

"Yeah." I sat up. "This was fun. I'm so glad I found you again, Chris...or should I say Crystal." I winked.

"You take care, Rog, and I really am happy for you." He gave me one final hug before we parted for the night, saying our goodbyes to everybody at the party.

"If Hazel stays sleeping this soundly, we could take this time to focus on some maths problems." I teased Brian. "I could really use some help on problem 69."

"You little minx!" Brian laughed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize we're long overdue for some angst in this story. It's been nothing but fluff. But you know what we need lots of fluff now more than ever. Maybe I'll put in some angst, but we'll see. Hope you liked this one :)


	57. Love of my Life Don't Leave Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger has an accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah, the anticipated angst I promised. Be warned when it rains it pours, but there will be a very bittersweet/happy resolution by the end of this chapter. I'm in an angsty mood cause it's been a shitty week. Got called out in class the other day and totally wasn't prepared with the proper facts of the case and couldn't answer Prof's questions and I looked like an idiot in front of everyone. Not fun. Then I spent 6 hours working on a memo only to realize that the case holding I was working with was overruled and I had to find a new case and start over from scratch. But obviously the most upsetting news for everyone is the passing of rock icon Eddie Van Halen. Everything else seems to pale in comparison to how much it sucks that he's gone. What a legend! He will be missed by all music lovers around the world. Such a loss. RIP.
> 
> With all that out of the way, here's the next chapter!

_Brian's POV_

"So let me get this straight...well as straight as I can get things everything considered," Freddie exhaled, "You lost two of your most irreplaceable items on the same day because you're an idiot."

"Um...Yeah basically." I sighed. "So are you going to mock me or are you going to help me?"

"Well can't I do both, dear? I can mock you while I help you hunt down your wedding ring and the Red Special. My God, how could you have let this happen? You must have been very careless to lose both your guitar and your ring on the same day. Were you just trying be negligent or did you just leave your brain at home?"

"Papa, I found the thing." Azalea, holding her kitten plushy in one hand, used her other to tug at Freddie's hand.

"Not now, darling. I'm trying to help Uncle Bri recover his guitar because he was dumb enough to lose it."

Last I remembered having my Red Special was at Garden Lodge, so it made sense to retrace my steps. As for the wedding ring, well who knows when I lost that. Roger was going to murder me when he found out. He put so much emphasis in many of his belongings. His car, his radio, his sparkly pink converse, the elephant plushie we won at the fair, and yes our wedding rings.

"I have the thing!" Azalea reached up and grabbed my hand, trying with all her might to pull me forward. I gave in and followed her, making it seem like she was physically capable of dragging me. "See! I found the thing!" She led me out to the garden and pointed to the guitar left sitting on a table out by the greenery. Wow! A three year old had better recollection than me.

"Ahh, that's my brilliant baby!" Freddie applauded. "I think Brian owes you some guitar lessons."

"NO!" Azalea shouted and walked away to go play with the cats.

"She's your brilliant baby alright, Fred. Sassy just like you." I retorted.

"Oh fuck off, Brian." Freddie laughed. "Every time I entice her to learn piano she throws a temper tantrum. Says piano is boring. Jim just thinks she's too young. I hope that's it."

"Hazel's only interested in Elsa and cheerios. Those are her priorities in life and if she can't have them, then all hell breaks loose." I summed up.

"It's hard not to give into their demands." Freddie empathized. "A baby may be cute and tiny, but they can turn your whole world upside down." Then he laughed "But enough about Roger, let's talk about Hazel. How's she doing?"

That took me a moment then I understood the joke. Although Freddie being roughly the same height as Roger shouldn't be one to talk.

"He's going to kill me when he finds out I lost my wedding ring." I said. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Well when I lost my shoe, I had to retrace my steps. You did that well enough for the Red Special. Obviously your wedding ring isn't here. Where do you last remember having it on?" Freddie helped.

"Umm..." My memory was fuzzy as usual. "I believe I took it off at work when I was giving a bath to a badger, but I must have put it back on." I struggled to recall if I had just left my wedding ring beside the basin. That did sound an awful lot like something I might do by mistake. How could I ever be so foolish? "Roger is going to kill me."

"You've said that already, dear." Freddie pointed out. "Why don't you just be honest with him. Tell him you took the wedding ring off when you were bathing the badger and you forgot to put it back on."

"You really think Rog will be understanding about something so important to him?" I asked skeptically.

"I've written you a lovely obituary." Freddie replied cheekily. I was so screwed.

_Roger's POV_

"ELSA!" Hazel screamed scrunching her tiny fists into a ball like she was about to enter a boxing ring.

Why wasn't Brian back yet? I needed backup. How long could it take him to relocate the Red Special? If he just kept a better eye on his stuff, I wouldn't be all on my own here.

"Hazel." I tried to be rational. "We've watched Elsa 3 times today. If I have to hear that song one more bloody time I'm going to lose my mind."

"ELSA!" Hazel tipped over her bottle, which was thankfully sealed, so no milk spilled. "NO!" I shouted feeling a sudden rage. Shit. No that wasn't good parenting. I'm not Michael. I took a deep breath. "Hazel, we don't purposely drop our bottles!"

"Elsa." Hazel huffed again.

I sighed. Why couldn't she get her mind on something else? Anything else?

Then I had an idea. Hazel screamed fussily when I picked her up and brought her to my room. "I wanna show you something really cool, Hazel."

I presented her with one of my most prized possessions, my old radio. "This is a radio. Clem-Clem got it for me when I just a baby like you. You remember Clem-Clem, right?"

"Els--"

"--Radios play music. They're old fashioned, but they do the trick." I turned the knob, already knowing how to set it to the classic rock station from muscle memory. All those years just listening to the radio in the dark. Yeah, I didn't need to even look at what I was doing, the feeling of the device was so familiar.

"Dada?" Hazel quipped as a Jimi Hendrix song came on. I grinned. Smart girl. "That's right. That's Dada's idol, Jimi--"

"--I'm home!"

Oh. She saw Brian come in. Still a smart girl. "Brimi!" I squealed. I immediately noticed the Red Special slung over his shoulder as he entered the room. Yes! He got it back. "Oh! I"m so happy you found it!" I ran to give him a big hug and a welcome home kiss. We parted for a moment at the sound of static. Hazel was playing around with the radio.

"Um, Rog, she's a bit young to be playing with that. You might wanna be careful." Brian warned. I frowned. "It's fine. It keeps her from saying the E word. Besides, Uncle Clem trusted me with it when I was only a bit older than her."

"I know how much that old radio means to you, and I wouldn't want anything to happen to it." Brian said. "But if something were hypothetically to happen to it...And let's say whoever lost it was very, very, very sorry, then you should probably forgiv--"

"--Brian, you cannot lecture me on being careful with my stuff, okay? You're the most forgetful and negligent person I know when it comes to important items. You can be so fucking smart, but somehow you always lose your car keys, your phone, even your bloody guitar. I'm not sure how that's possible. I mean I was more mindful of not losing things when I was blind." I ranted.

"I'm just saying that if Hazel were to accidentally break your radio, it wouldn't mean she loves you any less." Brian said.

I rolled my eyes. "My radio's fine. I don't know what your problem is. Hazel can play with it if it makes her forget about a certain snow queen for a little while."

"Roger, there's something I need to tell you." Brian said, and I assumed it had something to do with Hazel fiddling with the radio. Before Brian could confirm how all knowing he was, Hazel accidentally knocked her bottle over. This time the milk did leek from the seal. The radio stopped playing. Oh shit! Brian gasped.

"Don't you dare say I told you so!" I cried. I picked up the radio and tried to revive it, but it seemed to be dead. Fuck! Why was I such an idiot? I loved this bloody thing. It was the one remanent I had from the first time I could see and I had so many memories correlated to it. Brian was right. Why would I trust my infant child with it? "God, I'm literally crying over spilled milk, aren't I?" I sniffled, trying to contain myself.Nope, the tears were coming. How pathetic!

"It's okay, Roger. Shh. I'll call Deaky. I'm sure he can fix it. It's not the end of the world. I think we can use this as a reminder to be more careful when dealing with things that hold value to us."

Brian trying to make me feel better just made me want to cry more. "I told you not to have this conversation with me. I'm not the reckless one!" I projected. Maybe I was just feeling miserable about my own stupidity so I took it out on Brian.

Brian surprisingly lashed back. "_You're _not the reckless one? Are you joking? Just the other day you nearly slipped and hit your head on the ground because you thought it would be a good idea to stand on a swivel chair."

"That's because I've told you repeatedly not to leave things on the top shelf. You know I have to stand on a chair to reach it. It's your fault!" I shouted. "If you weren't so fucking forgetful I wouldn't do stupid stuff like that!"

"How is it my fault that you're short?"Brian exclaimed.

Hazel started to cry, obviously upset about us raising our voices. "Ah, honey, don't cry. I know you didn't mean to hurt my radio." I cooed.

"I'm sorry, Roger." Brian said in a manner way too sincere for this frivolous fight almost like he was apologizing for something else.

"It's alright, Bri." I told him as I continued to soothe Hazel. "Why don't you go call Deaky while I get her some Cheerios to make her feel better?"

I brought Hazel back to the kitchen and set her down in her highchair. In the other room I heard Brian on the phone. "...Yeah, Deaks, it's me. Roger's radio is busted and I was wondering if you could try fixing it..."

I opened up the cabinet in search of the Cheerios box. Of course Brian had left it on the highest shelf that I couldn't reach. Son of a bitch! He had to have done this on purpose.

"...Wait why would you have my ring, John?" I heard Brian still on the phone obviously too busy to help me. Fuck him. I could get it myself.

Just like I normally did, I set up the chair beneath the shelf and climbed up. I reached for the box...

"Roger, don't worry. John's coming over to—What are you doing?"

As I turned to see Brian approaching, I lost my footing. The next thing I knew I was falling fast toward the ground. The back of my head painfully smacked against the ground and the last thing I heard was Hazel's crying.

***

_Brian's POV_

I couldn't focus on what John was saying. It didn't matter where my ring was now. I tried to shake that horrid image out of my mind but it ceased to leave me. Roger on the ground, his blood flickering back and forth between red and grey warning me that my soulmate's life was as fragile as a flame being blown out by a gust of wind. The ring meant nothing to me now. I just wanted my Roger back.

Color seemed to be more steady now that Roger was in the care of the doctors, but I was still scared shitless. He could've died. Our last memory would have been a fight. It was my fault he was up on the chair to begin with. I caused this. The guilt was sickening, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or vomit. John squeezed my hand. "He's strong, Bri. He'll be okay." Deaky sounded more like he was convincing himself than me.

Through my teary eyes I distracted myself on my phone. Freddie sent a text message of a picture of sweet innocent Hazel with her eyes still red from sobbing so hard in her Frozen onesie nightgown cuddled next to Azalea and the cats. '_Finally got her to stop crying. She's watching Frozen with Az and is feeling better. Jim and I are taking good care of her while we all pray for our Roggie. Any updates?'_

"Stay strong, Bri. At least for Hazel. She'll need you now more than ever." Deaky encouraged.

The doctor approached and my heart raced. Oh God! I could still see in color as of now, but I wasn't ready for any sort of news. This was all too much for me.

"Shall I start with the good news or the bad news?" He asked. Fuck! I wanted to just fall to the ground and curl my lanky body into a ball and sob hysterically.

"Good news first." Deaky spoke for me.

"There's no structural or serious damage to Roger's skull." He said. "Roger's very lucky in the regard."

"But..." I could anticipate.

"But," The doctor exhaled, "he lost a lot of blood and is currently in a medically induced coma while we stabilize him. If he wakes up, we'll have more information on what kind of condition he'll be in."

If he wakes up? _If _he wakes up? If...

I ran to the nearest trashcan and hurled.

"Bri?" John was by my side. "Brian, you have to pull yourself together. We don't know what state Roger will be in when he wakes up. He'll need you to help him get through this."

"If. Not when. If. You heard the doctor. Oh God!" I sobbed.

"I said _when_." John stated more firmly. "I know Roger is going to wake up. He has to. He'll pull through. But we don't know what will happen when he does. He could be blind again or worse. So you have to be strong, Brian. He'll need you."

My heart was shattering and I just couldn't bare it. "I can't do it, Deaky. W-Why couldn't it have been me?"

"No, don't say that. If something happened to you, then Roger would be blind. You two need each other. So you have to step up and be a good other half for him. We know he'd do the same for you in a heartbeat." John continued to comfort me through this horrid waking nightmare.

_Roger's POV_

I slipped in and out of consciousness, sometimes aware and other times not. At one point I became somewhat cognizant and realized I was in a coma. My body just wasn't responding and it was fucking horrifying. If I focused hard enough I could probably open my eyes, but truth be told I was scared. What if I couldn't see?

I thought I had overcome this persistent fear, but when I was all alone ****behind closed eyelids the fear was very real. Brian would leave me and he'd take Hazel with him. There was just too much to lose if I dared to open my eyes.

As I slipped back into an unconscious state again, I willed myself back into a world where I knew nothing different. It was easier that way to just pretend that I had nothing so the loss would be less painful...

***

I woke up to the sound of steady beeps and the sterile smell of hospital. What was I doing here? I struggled to recall if I was here for an injury or just another failed eye surgery. My head hurt. Ugh.

"He's awake!" Someone...a doctor?...announced. "Roger, can you hear me?"

"Hearing you is not the problem." I replied, my voice hoarse.

"He's responsive! Oh this is wonderful! How are you feeling, Roger?"

Injury for sure. Ugh. Dad was going to be pissed that I did something stupid and ended up in the hospital again. There'd be trouble. "My head hurts a little." I groaned. "What did I do?"

"Your husband said you were standing on a chair to reach something on the shelf and you fell and hit your head." The doctor explained.

"Yeah that sounds like something I'd—Wait! Did you say husband?" Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought.

"Yes. Your husband was the one who brought you here. He's very worried about you. Shall I send him in? Are you well enough to see him?"

What a slap to the face. If this was a joke I'd be pissed. "I'm fucking blind so I can't see him and there's no one to see because I don't have a husband."

The doctor went quiet. "Blind and amnesia." He murmured eventually.

"I've always been blind and I remember fine." I sighed. Wait. What did I last remember? I didn't remember this latest accident...

Did Mom know about it? She would freak out. Probably demand that I move back in to prevent future harms and give up what little freedom I had. Perhaps she was right and I wasn't capable of living on my own. Still I didn't want to move back home. I was happy with Deaky. He was the best friend and roommate I could ask ever ask for.

"Can you do me a favor and not tell my parents about this. You can call John Deacon. He can come pick me up." I said.

"You remember John?" The doctor asked.

"Of course I remember Deaky. He's my flat mate. I don't have amnesia and you're just mistaken." I stated.

"I'll um send John in." The doctor responded. Now that was more like it. No more fictitious husband bullshit. As if I could ever get married. Who would want me when I couldn't take care of myself?

After a few minutes I heard footsteps. Wow! John got here fast. "Deaky, is that you?" I asked.

"Yeah Rog." His voice wavered as if he were holding back tears. Huh. The fall must've been very scary. It was probably serious if I ended up in the hospital. "I'm okay, Deaks. Really I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me. Let's just go home and not let my parents know about this so my father doesn't get pissed off and my mother doesn't try to use this as an excuse to get me to move back in."

"Roger, how old are you?" John asked out of nowhere.

"The doctor thinks I have amnesia but he's stupid. I'm 20. You know that. Don't be dumb." I said.

Deaky gulped. "That's not true, Roger. You're not 20. You're 27. You don't remember the last 7 years, do you?"

No, that couldn't be right. "What the fuck are you talking about? I don't appreciate you joking like this John."

"You don't remember that I proposed to Ronnie? That you were the best man at our wedding? How you met Brian?"

Why did he sound so serious? "That's not possible John. You're so shy you can barely even speak to Ronnie. You've only known her for about a year. There's no way you'd be getting married already. You're only 18. That's stupid."

"I'm 25, Roger. Veronica and I have been married for 3 years and we have a son named Robert and another child on the w—Oh wait. We haven't told anyone about that yet. Pretend you didn't hear that last part. Look, Roger, you need to remember. Please. This isn't your life anymore. You're happy and married with the most adorable baby girl. Do you not remember Brian at all?"

"What?" I wasn't sure if I was confused or angry or both. "I can't have a daughter. Do you realize how inept I am? What kind of a father would I be? What kind of husband would I be? I can barely have friends like you let alone a family that depends on me!"

"Roger, that's not true. Brian loves you, blind or not. And he's making himself sick with worry about you. I know you don't remember him but I'm gonna have him come in just to give him the peace of mind, okay?" Why was John going along with this? If my supposed husband existed, I would just let him down. I wasn't enough for him. He'd leave me...

Oh God! Brian was going to leave me because I was blind again. 

Wait what? My head was spinning. 

"Roggie?" There was something associated with that soft voice. It was an image. I could see for a split moment. There was light. But then it was gone. 

"W-Who are you?" I asked straining to find why the voice made me feel so warm inside. Figments of my imagination flashed before my eyes, like dreams where I could see. But I couldn't see. So I might as well forget them. Forget it all so I wouldn't have to deal with losing it all. 

"Roger, please," Whoever it was squeezed my hand. "my love, you have to remember me. Please. I love you so much. You're my soulmate."

I shut my eyes tightly, denying all the memories returning. I couldn't remember Brian because if I'm blind again then he'd leave me. I would be left all alone in the dark. Everyone leaves eventually. Uncle Clem, Crystal, and now Brian would go and take Hazel too. "Y-You're gonna leave me. Bri, I'm sorry." I whispered, whimpering back more tears. 

"What are you sorry for, sweetheart? I'm not going to leave. I'm not going anywhere. I wouldn't dream of it. I'm just so elated that you're here. I thought...I thought you were the one who had left me and it broke me, Roger. I don't want you ever leaving me."

"I-I might be blind again." I purposely continued to keep my eyes shut. "I'm scared, Brimi. I'm so scared that I...Oh I fucked up so badly that I forced myself to forget you and Hazel and the best years of my life. I love you so much that I actually forgot you in fear of losing you. I'm so sorry. I forgot that I could even see. That's how messed up I am. I was so scared of losing my vision and losing you that I pretended I was blind again. I'm so so sorry."

"Roger, please stop apologizing. The accident was my fault. You always remind me to leave things on the lower shelf so you don't have to stand on the chair, but I keep forgetting. So I'm the one to blame. I put you through all this trauma and pain. And I started a fight all because I lost my wedding ring and was too afraid to be a man and tell you. Thankfully Deaky found it. Anyway, I swear on all the stars I can chart that I will never ever ever leave you, Roger May. You're mine and I plan to keep it that way. So if you open your eyes and don't see a thing, we'll get through it together as a family. Hazel and I are forever a part of your life whether you like it or not." I felt his lips brush against mine and I took a deep breath. Thinking back to that glorious day when I saw for the first time after our first kiss. Slowly I opened my eyes. 

There was Brian, beautiful as always, his hazel eyes glistening with tears. That was the love of my life, and I could see him clearly. It was such a relief. My heart was full...almost. "Hazel?"

"Blue." Brian responded. 

I couldn't help but smile. "Yes, but I meant our Hazel Blue. Where is she? Is she okay? Did she ever get her Cheerios?"

"Oh, of course." Brian realized. "She's with Freddie and Jim. They're taking good care of her, but I think we should give a call and just have her hear your voice to let her know you're okay." 

"I'm okay." I exhaled coming to terms with everything that had just happened. I wiped the tears from my eyes. "Oh Brimi I love you so much."

"I love you more." He replied. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most pressing question: Did Hazel ever get her Cheerios?


	58. Don't Stop Me Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hazel is a year old!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After last chapter's angst, here's something a bit more lighthearted as usual. I'm doing better. And happy happy happy birthday to the legendary John Lennon. 💝

_Roger's POV_

Obviously the theme for Hazel's first birthday party was going to be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That's what I would say if I were blind. Haha! Yes! I'm finally able to use that term offensively as synonymous with stupid. No, arguably I'm not stupid, and I'm definitely not blind anymore. So clearly we were gonna throw our Elsa obsessed daughter a Frozen themed birthday party.

"Joe, you are fucking brilliant!" I proclaimed looking down at all the Olaf cupcakes. "She is going to love these."

"He's a miracle worker." Freddie agreed, patting Joe on the back. "Don't know what I'd ever do without him. I can't even boil water and Jim only knows how to cook potatoes."

"I heard that." Jim called from the other room. Azalea poked her head out of the door revealing she had makeup on. "Look Papa! Look Uncle Roggie! Daddy is playing dress up with me."

"Aaah." Freddie squealed. "My heart! Jim, why are you such a sweetheart, and Az, dear, why are you so adorable?"

"Oh Jim, remember at the cast party when you decorated Hazel's hair in an Elsa braid. Maybe you could do that again for her birthday? It'd mean the world to her." I suggested.

"No problem at all." Jim replied with a smile.

This party was going to kick ass! Hazel was going to have such a good time and nobody could stop her. There was no stopping me in planning the greatest first birthday any parent had ever seen.

Just then my phone rang. I assumed it wouldn't be anything that would dampen my good mood or threaten to stop the awesome party. Well I assumed wrong.

"Hello, Mr. May, this is Suzie from Princess Party Planners. I'm calling to let you know that the Elsa you hired for your daughter's party tomorrow came down with a bad case of head lice, so she will not be able to attend."

Holy shit! No! This was not happening. There was supposed to be no stopping me from throwing Hazel's epic Frozen party. How could you have Frozen party without an Elsa?

"Our policy is that I can either give you your money back or have another princess in Elsa's place. The princesses available under such short notice are as follows: Cinderella, Belle, Jasmine, Snow Wh--"

"--No! Another princess won't cut it. You don't understand. My daughter won't shut up about Elsa." I cried.

"Oh I do understand." The woman replied apathetically. "Elsa is our most popular princess, highest demand. That's why we couldn't find you a replacement Elsa under such short notice cause we have too many Elsas booked at the moment. Sorry about that. So would you rather have another princess or your money back?"

"Don't you get it? I promised my daughter that Elsa would be at her birthday party. If Elsa is not at her birthday party, there will be big trouble." I shuddered thinking of the cataclysmic damage of letting Hazel down in this case. Oh the tantrum would be big. Big, bad, and ugly.

"So...your money back then?" The woman asked.

In frustration and fear of how Hazel would react, I screamed into the phone. When the woman hung up I screamed some more.

"Perfect impression of how Hazel is going to react." Freddie laughed.

"This isn't funny, Freddie! What am I going to do? Hazel is expecting Elsa. I promised her Elsa was coming."

"Well throwing a hissy fit won't solve any of your problems, now, will it, dearie. Don't you worry, I'll fix this for you."

Freddie took the phone from me. I should be scared of what he was scheming, but right now I was desperate.

Freddie called back the Princess Party Planners. "Hello, Suzie, darling, I believe you promised Roger May an Elsa for his daughter's birthday party?...Who am I? Oh why must everything be about me? I know I'm fabulous and all, but...wait. Let's get back on track. This is about your promise to Roger. You owe him an Elsa because he relied on your promise. You told him Elsa would be coming to his daughter's party, so he told his daughter, and now his daughter is expecting Elsa. So you better damn well make sure that Elsa shows up to that party...I'm sorry, dear, I can use whatever tone of voice I want with you...Oh yes I most certainly can...Under the authority of um...promissory estoppel you need to fulfill your promise...What? I totally did not just make that up. It's a real thing. Google it!" Freddie gasped. "She hung up on me. How dare she!"

"It's okay, Freddie." I sighed, "You gave it your best shot."

"Yes, but I misfired on that shot." Freddie shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Roger. But I'm sure we'll find a way to get Elsa at Hazel's party. I'll come up with an idea in time. You'll see."

"Yeah." That brought a smile to my face. "I'll see." Then I remembered I had to stop taking that phrase so literally.

***

_Brian's POV_

"Guess what, Hazel?" I picked her up out of her crib as she yawned sleepily. "Today is your birthday! You're officially one year old today."

"Dada." She cooed softly as I tried and failed to tame her bed head. Roger mentioned something about Jim giving her an Elsa makeover complete with the iconic braid. I did not want the embarrassment of Jim finding yet another stale Cheerio in her curls. Hazel put her thumb in her mouth.

"My beautiful princess." I kissed the top of her head. "Today is your party. Elsa's gonna be here!"

She removed the thumb from her mouth, her eyes lighting up with a bright sparkle. "Elsa!" She squealed eagerly.

"That's right! She's coming to celebrate your birthday." I confirmed. Hazel squirmed excitedly in my arms, wriggling his little arms and legs frantically.

I enjoyed my time with Hazel as I helped her get ready for her party. It was different doing all this without Roger as he was always so heavily involved and did a lot of this stuff without me while I was at work. Only now Roger was getting everything ready for the party and I was taking care of the birthday girl. By the time I got Hazel all fed, changed, and dressed, people were starting to arrive.

The doorbell rang. Hazel looked to me with wide eyes. I expected her to ask if it was Elsa. "Papa?" She inquired instead. Aww. She missed Roger.

"Yes he'll be here soon, sweetheart. I bet that's him." I told her. It should be anyway. Roger said he'd be here helping Joe deliver all the food about an hour early.

Instead, Joe and Phoebe arrived on their own. No Roger. How strange. "Where's Rog?" I asked as I helped bring in the trays.

Hazel noticed the Olaf cupcakes and her mind returned to Frozen. "ELSA!" She screamed waddling around the flat like a crazed penguin.

"Roger should be here soon. He's just sorting out a few last minute party details with Freddie." Phoebe said.

That didn't sound good at all. Knowing things I'd say Roger and Freddie were up to no good. Before I could ask any follow up questions, my wild daughter took precedent. "Hazel, no! Don't drink from Valentine's water bowl. You are not a dog!"

***

The Deacons were the next ones to arrive. Still no Roger. I was about to inquire but we had to deal with Robert sneaking an Olaf cupcake without permission. I didn't care, but John made him apologize because he wanted to instill manners in his son. Speaking of manners...

"Would anyone fancy a drink? We have some champagne for the adults and juice for the kids." I offered.

I poured everyone a glass and got a juice box for Robert and a bottle for Hazel. "There we go. I am being hospitable." I said handed off the final glass to Veronica. "Oh no thank you, Bri." She smiled politely shaking her head. She folded her hands on her stomach.

"Oh my God! You're pregnant!" Phoebe gasped.

"Ohhh. Congratulations!" I proclaimed. The family continues to grow and it's wonderful.

"It's still very early. We weren't going to announce until after we heard the heartbeat." Ronnie explained. John put his arm around her. "It's very exciting though." He said. "Having another little one around should be fun."

More guests began to arrive and Hazel alternated between asking for Elsa and asking for Roger. I knew something was going on when Jim and Azalea arrived without Freddie. 

"Freddie and Roger will be here soon. In the meantime, I'm gonna give our two little princesses a makeover." 

"Elsa?" Hazel looked up to me as if she needed permission. "Yes, honey, Uncle Jim's gonna make you look like Elsa." I handed her off to Jim. "I wanna be Moana." Azalea exclaimed, tugging at Jim's sleeve. "No I wanna be Ariel. No I wanna be Tinker Bell. No I wanna be Moana again."

"So where are Freddie and Roger for real?" I eventually asked Phoebe as Jim prepared the girls in their princess getups. 

"They'll be here soon. I think just in time for our princesses to make their royal debut." He replied. 

I couldn't thank Jim enough when he returned with Hazel looking happier than ever in an Elsa costume and her hair braided just like the Snow Queen. I had never seen my daughter smile so big and it was such a joy. Azalea appeared happy too although her costume was a bit more confusing. She had on a red mermaid wig with a Moana dress and accompanying Tinker Bell wings. 

The doorbell rang again. "Ah. That's probably Fred and Roger." I felt relieved that they were finally here. "Elsa!" Hazel shouted impatiently. "Yes, yes. Elsa will be here soon too."

Much to my surprise, it was Crystal at the door. He cleared his throat. "May I present her royal highnesses, Princess Ana and Queen Elsa of Arendelle!" I did a double take when probably the two most beautiful "women" in the world strutted down the walkway like models hand in hand giggling like fools. Oh the chaos twins were at it again! Now dressed in drag with Freddie as Ana and Roger as Elsa, they looked phenomenal. My jaw dropped. I wasn't sure if I was amused or shocked, but I was certainly aroused. Freddie looked good as always, a natural beauty with an exotic look, which surprisingly fit well with the Ana pink and blue color scheme and reddish brown wig. His smile was brought out with bright red lip stick. Roger, on the other hand, was a whole different site to behold. He look a delicate flower with the sweetest pink lips and the icy blue gown flowing in the wind alongside his braided wig. I wasn't sure whose idea it was, but it was a surprise I'd likely never forget. 

Then Hazel screamed and it reminded me so much of Roger that I almost cried, but instead I just laughed. "ELSAAAAAAAAAAAA!" She yelled, tripping over her own ice blue gown matching Roger's as she scrambled to get to him. Poor thing actually started to sob she was so overwhelmed with her emotions at seeing her idol in the flesh. Something about it secretly being Roger warmed my heart. He gave me a knowing smile as he picked up Hazel, rocking her as she cried and giggled and screamed all at the same time. 

"Ana, why do you look like my Papa?" Azalea asked Freddie innocently. Freddie laughed, brushing the bangs of his Ana wig aside so he could see better. "Your Papa must be a good looking guy."

"Can you make it snow?" Robert asked. 

"I promised Olaf I'd keep it summer." Roger replied smoothly. Hazel was still in his arms, clinging to him desperately. 

"Are you happy, birthday girl?" Roger cooed, giving her a kiss on the cheek, earning a squeal. "Ana and I came here for your special day."

"You know who Hazel is?" Azalea asked. 

"Oh of course I know who Hazel is. I know everyone. I'm Elsa." Roger said and if I wasn't so busy admiring his bright blue eyes now brought out by smoky eye shadow and mascara, I would have face palmed at that response. Why did Roger have to be so fucking pretty both as a man and a woman? It was infuriating how good he looked! 

"Yes. Elsa knows all the people in Arendelle 'cause she's a Queen." Freddie said, but then he started giggling. Well Ana was giggly too so I guess he was playing the part. 

"But you're a Queen too, Ana." Roger teased. "A real drama Queen." The two just couldn't stop laughing, it was infectious. 

"Are you having fun, Hazel?" Roger asked the baby in his arms who was still smiling but remained in a somewhat shocked state. 

"H-Hazel." She quietly muttered. 

"Holy shit!" Roger dropped character and I gasped as well. "Hazel, you know your name!" I applauded. "You said your name!" 

"A new word! Oh honey I'm so proud of you!" Roger exclaimed, not caring that the Elsa facade was broken. Hazel didn't seem to notice. She just looked up at him and contentedly cooed "Elsa" clearly not questioning any of it. 

"Elsa." Roger gestured to himself. Then he gestured back to the baby. "Hazel." 

"H...Hazel." She repeated melting every frozen heart at this party. Our little girl was now a year old and knew who she was. Definitely a reason to celebrate and have ourselves a real good time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!💞


	59. Don't You Hear my (Zoom) Call?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian gives a lecture over Zoom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things aren't going too well for me. Bad anxiety and my dog is sick. I have a bit of a writer's block too. This is another one of those random WTF chapters I wrote to cheer myself up. Hope it at least amuses some of you out there <3

_Brian's POV_

I wasn't sure what I would expect having agreed on behalf of the British Space Program to give a lecture to a group of high school students to get them more engaged in the STEM program. I had a presentation set up and had practiced it dozens of times. Granted, I couldn't get through most of those times uninterrupted by either Hazel or Valentine or some other distraction. One of the few times I got through the whole thing with Roger as my audience, he had fallen asleep. 

_"W-What? Oh no! No! I wasn't sleeping...I just...you know sometimes I forget that I can see...and...like to close my eyes?" _

I did it once for Deaky as my audience, interrupted every now and then by Robert barging in much like Hazel would at home. John's response was far from satisfactory.

_"It's dull and you don't spend any time on math and engineering. STEM is not just science and technology you know." _

And I couldn't even manage to get through five minutes practicing with Freddie. His cats would distract even more than Azalea. Besides, I could tell Freddie wasn't really paying attention because his gaze was cast behind me where the backside of Jim was visible through the window as he worked in the garden. 

On the day of the lecture, I opened up Zoom, greeted by what resembled the Brady Bunch up on the screen. The teacher on the upper left corner announced. "Okay, class, let's all give our undivided attention to our guest lecturer, Dr. May." I noticed some clap emoji icons on the screen but otherwise disinterested looks from the students. 

I began my lecture on space and went on for about ten minutes when one boy raised his hand. Oh good! From the looks they were giving me, I would say they were unengaged. "Excuse me, Mr. Dr. May Dude your camera is off and we can't hear you. We've just been staring at a black screen this whole time." 

"What?" Oh no! Well this was embarrassing. I switched my camera on, hoping it would work. "Can you all hear me?" I waited for a response. "Can you hear me?"

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Roger suddenly ran into the room. He pressed a button. "There, you're no longer on mute. You're welcome!" Several more clap emojis appeared on the screen. 

"H-How do you know this?" I gasped. Roger, my Roger, who had been working off of a flip phone for most of his life, was suddenly a master of Zoom technology. 

"I Zoom with Uncle Clem all the time. It's just common sense, Bri. I even can make my background look like I'm in Fast and Furious. Wanna see?" 

"No, Rog, that's alright. I'm going to get on with the lect--" I noticed lots of nodding students and thumbs up emojis. Without asking me, Roger fiddled with keyboard some more and all of a sudden a background appeared behind my screen resembling race cars on a speeding track. 

"Okay." I nodded. "Now let's continue..." 

"Wait. You've got lots of comments in the chat. You should see what they're saying." Roger clicked on a blinking icon on the bottom of the screen. 

**Student 1: **OMG he's soooooooooooooooooo hot! 

**Student 2: **IDK which one is hotter?

**Student 3: **Who's the hot blonde? He's hot!

**Student 1: **If they're together and they break up, i call dibs on the curly one!

"They find us hot, Bri! Isn't that great?" Roger grinned into the camera. "I used to be a model!" He announced. Heart emojis appeared on the screen.

**Student 2: **I hope they're just friends...i want them to be SINGLE so I can mingle!!!

"Sorry, Brimi, gonna have to divorce you now. The chat dictates that we must be single." Roger teased. Although I didn't appreciate him joking about divorce like that.

"These kids are like 15, Roger. Don't be gross. Let's keep this appropriate and professional."

**Student 3: **Fuck you I'm 16

"No!" I cried. "Absolutely none of that." I minimized the chat. I took a deep breath and tried my best to continue. "So I believe I was talking about constellations..."

"Papa! Dada! Papa! Dada! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Hazel waddled into the room. "Hazel, honey, no screaming. We use our indoor voices." I said gently. "aaaaaahhhh!" She responded. 

Roger laughed and carried her out. I wasn't sure if he a blew a kiss to me or the camera. I was scared to open the chat back up. 

**Student 4:** COME BACK BLONDIE WE MISS YOU :(

**Student 1: **OMG they're baby is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute! uwu 

"You um used the wrong form of their and...you know what never mind. Can anyone tell me what planet is closest to the sun?"

"URANUS!" A boy shouted and everyone laughed. 

I shook my head. "No, that's not right. Uranus is--"

"Heehehheheee...he said Uranus...heee...ha..hahaha!" The giggles commenced and I was glad Roger was no longer here because he would have a field day with this immaturity. 

"Alright, that's enough!" The teacher spoke up. "I'm muting everyone except for Dr. May. Dr. May, you may continue."

Before he could unmute the kids, there were some giggles at the teacher's use of the word May as well as those still snickering over Uranus. 

"Thank you." I said when everything quieted down again. "I'm going to try and carry on uninterrupted. Let's talk about Mercury, which is in fact the closest planet to the sun..."I thought I managed to get through the material in an informative manner. Hopefully the students were engaged. I checked the chat for any questions. 

**Student 5: **This lecture is boring AF but he's so dreamy. I think i'm in LOVE. What a beautiful poodle man!

**Student 6: **science sucks :( 

**Student 2: **What happened to Blondie? I miss him.

**Student 4: **URANUS! 

**Student 7: **Space is dumb. It just takes up space.

**Student 3: **Ugh why does he have to be so attractive and have such a beautiful voice? It's not fair! 

**Student 8: **Does anyone have any clue what he's talking about????

**Students 1-7:** No

**Student 9**: Sorry wasn't listening.

**Student 10:** URANUS

**Student 1:** He's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sexy! 

"Well this lecture has been a disaster." I decided. "I'm sorry to have wasted everyone's time, compliments asides. Does anyone have any genuine questions about STEM that I can answer?" 

"Are science people normal people who are hot? I thought it was all nerds and geeks." A girl blurted. 

"Anyone can become a scientist. You just need to dedicate yourself to gathering knowledge and asking questions about the world around you. Remember the Scientific Method is all about asking questions." I told her. 

"If hot people are scientists, I'm gonna sign up for STEM club." She replied.

"Me too!" Another girl blurted. 

"Me three!" 

And the next thing I knew all of the kids were interested in joining the STEM club. I wasn't sure if I could take credit for this or not, but the teacher seemed very pleased with the result. 

"Wow! I've never seen these kids so eager to get engaged in STEM. Great job, Dr. May. Let's all give our lecturer a round of applause because he deserves it."

Huh. I guess I did something right and it wasn't as abysmal as I originally thought. I figured if I could get at least one of those kids to be serious about STEM, then I did something good for our future. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute little chapter that's dumb but I felt like writing it because I needed something to smile about. Nothing more than that. Hope you had fun :)


	60. Great Sounding Maracas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie and Roger spend a day at the mall with their kids. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling a little bit better. Vet said there's nothing wrong with my doggie. She's just fat, old, and depressed. So basically a mood.
> 
> Anyway anyone see Mall Cop with Kevin James? Lol. This chapter was inspired by that ridiculously stupid movie and a series of hypothetical cases I've written to help me study for exams. If you like these antics I might include more of my study material in the stories so let me know lmao.
> 
> Sooooo this chapter might not be PC. Honestly it's very minor but just to be sure I'm putting this out there. I don't want to be offensive at all and this is just in good fun. But in today's climate you can never be too careful. Don't take my writing too seriously. If you think sombreros and Taco Bell are offensive for whatever reason, then I'm sorry. You've been warned.

_Roger's POV_

"Hazel, honey, you've gotta stop kicking." I told her as she squirmed and fought against me all in an attempt to get her cold bare feet into a pair of socks. How the hell did it take less time for me to dress myself without sight than it did to dress my daughter with full sight. I managed to pull the fabric up past her toes and then...Riiiipppp. Fuck!

Hazel looked down at the ripped sock then up at me. I took a deep breath reminding myself that she was just a baby. _Don't be like Michael. If you're angry do not take it out on Hazel. _A mantra I found myself repeating from time to time.

"Rog? Hazel? Are you okay?" Brian left his study to come check on us. "Wow! You've been trying to dress her for almost an hour."

I rolled my eyes. "A little help would be appreciated." I remarked sassily.

"Sure thing. How bout you hold our little angel steady and I'll get this sock over her_—_Oh the sock is ripped!" Brian observed.

"Brilliant." I retorted.

Brian ignored me and examined the socks and Hazel's feet, inspecting them diligently like he was studying them for a science experiment. "Hazel has outgrown these. That's why they don't fit. Looks like her shirt and skirt are a bit tight too." He concluded. Then in a completely different and unscientific tone, he addressed Hazel. "Aww, our little baby had a growth spurt. Is that why you've been giving Papa a hard time? I bet those tight clothes aren't very comfortable."

"I don't understand growth spurts." I sighed. "She never looks any bigger when you say she's growing." Obviously I could tell that Hazel had grown significantly since she was first born, but there was no way to see the change as it was happening. In my youth whenever Mom would fuss over how quickly Clare and I were growing (sprouting like beans she'd say) I always imagine that it was noticeable to someone with vision.

"Well that's because the growth is so gradual that it's not necessarily visible." Brian explained.

I shrugged, deciding not to dwell. "We need to get her new clothes." I focused on the solution.

"I've got to finish this memo on hedgehog habitat reservation by tonight, but you can take Hazel to the mall to shop for new clothes. I trust your judgement. Just don't spend over $1000."

***

With Azalea starting pre school in the upcoming weeks, Freddie had to do some school clothes shopping for her as well. So we both pushed our strollers through the mall, giggling at nothing in particular as we walked. "Oh this is so exciting!" Freddie exclaimed. "Our first joint shopping spree for our daughters. We should buy them an entire fall and winter wardrobe and then get them ice cream and after that stop by the toy store for good measure."

"That all sounds lovely, Fred, but I promised Bri I wouldn't spend over $1000. I have a budget." I told him.

Freddie frowned. "Oh dear, what's the point of having money if you aren't allowed to spend it all?"

"Well...it's um not exactly my money." I said hesitantly. "I haven't had a steady income since I stopped working as a model, so really it's all Brian's money. So I have to spend it the way he tells me." I hated being so dependent, but things could be worse. We were in a great place financially with all of Brian's research, books and products and whatnot.

"Ahh, yes, I suppose I understand then, darling. You don't want to upset your sugar daddy." Freddie laughed.

I cringed. "I have a ring. He's not my sugar daddy."

"I'm only joking, love." He assured me. The subject was dropped when Freddie got distracted by all of the fashions displayed on the mannequins." Now, where to first? Oooh. We should head to Biba and say hi to Mary and check the latest trends there."

"Biba has a children's department?" I questioned.

"Oh no, not for the little ones. Who says we can't do a little shopping for ourselves first? Brian gave you a budget for Hazel but he didn't limit on what you can spend on yourself, now did he?"

"No...not directly." A devious smile tugged at my lips. "Let's have some fun!"

Two hours and way too many shopping bags later, we stopped at the food court to get the girls some ice cream and take pictures of all of us together in our new outfits. "It's itchy!" Azalea complained about her new scarf as Hazel screamed and whined, most likely for ice cream, but she didn't know how to use her big girl words yet.

"Yes, yes, just a moment, my little froggies. We still need to take a selfie with our new sombreros from the hat store." Freddie retrieved the oversized hat from the bag and placed them over our head. "Ready Roger?" He asked as he held up his phone to snap the picture. "Ready Freddie!" I shouted.

"Alright, watch the girls while I get us ice cream." Freddie announced.

I glanced back down at the strollers, having looked away for only a moment. Azalea had dropped her scarf on the floor, but now she was playing with Hazel's hair. Hazel seemed to like it as she had quieted down. "Az." Hazel said softly. Oh my God! "Hazel knows my name." Azalea stated with a smug grin. "She's my favorite cousin."

"Aww." I cooed. Oh wait. "What about Robert?" I couldn't be bias. Deaky's boy was hella cute and there was gonna be another cute Deakling coming soon.

"Robert eats his boogers. I don't like boys. They're yucky." Azalea replied. "Hazel is nice."

"Az." My sweet baby said again and I nearly melted watching the cute smile on Azalea's face as the cousins bonded. I took a picture of them to capture the moment.

Before I could put my phone away I got a notification.

**John**😊**: **_Why are you in Mexico?? You better not be smuggling drugs over the border without me!_

Wait what? I opened Freddie's instagram and saw the picture of us with the sombreros tagged: _"Ay-Oh! We're in Mexico, bitches!" #FreddieMercury #RogerMay #ShoppingSpree #IGiveZeroFucks #DarlingsAtPlay. _Oh no. This was bad...

**Brian**😍**: **_I know you're posing in front of the Taco Bell at the food court and not really in Mexico. But I hope you seriously didn't buy that sombrero at the hat store. -Bri_

**John**😊**:** _Wait are those your girls in the background of that pic??? Why would you bring two babies on a drug heist in Mexico? Are you stupid or crazy?_

**John**😊**: **_..._

**John**😊**: **_It's you two so I shouldn't be asking that question because I already know the answer. _🤦

**Brian**😍**: **_You left the price tag on it by the way, so you can't lie to me. It says $400. Why would you buy such an expensive hat??? You're supposed to be shopping for HAZEL! -Bri_

**John**😊**: **_The answer is you're both stupid AND crazy! _

Freddie returned with the ice cream. He looked at the notifications on his phone and shook his head. "I'll take care of this."

**Freddie**😸**: **_@ Deaky you don't know what drugs are. You're way too innocent for any of that. Just say no, dear!_

**Jim**🌻: _Can confirm. Freddie is at the mall and I highly doubt he is smuggling drugs. I apologize to all Mexicans for the chaos twins being reckless again._

"See, dear, all better. Jim apologized for us. What a sweetheart!" Freddie grinned. He gave Azalea a small cup of chocolate ice cream. I spoon fed the chocolate ice cream to Hazel. Meanwhile Freddie got two more cups of vanilla for us. I would have preferred the chocolate but I didn't complain. It actually tasted amazing and oddly enough I couldn't detect what flavor it was but it definitely wasn't plain vanilla. "Wow! This is the best ice cream ever!" I savored another spoonful and fed Hazel some more of the chocolate.

"I knew you'd like it! Ours infused with rum." Freddie announced.

I snickered. Of course it was rum flavored. Then I dropped the spoon in contemplation. "But not the girls' ice cream, right?"

"No, theirs is normal chocolate. I have at least one brain cell, silly. I'm not dumb enough to give them rum." Freddie laughed flicking ice cream onto my nose. By the end, we were just as messy as the babies, with the ice cream all over our faces. Was it possible to get drunk from rum infused ice cream? I sure felt a little bit buzzed. But that was okay. Freddie's driver was going to pick us up, so I didn't need to worry about driving home.

"To the toy store!" Freddie announced.

We were two drunk daddies bringing their sugar high kids to the toy store. _#IGiveZeroFucks _was right. Azalea somehow escaped from her stroller restraints and ran through the toy store grabbing from bins of toys and playing with everything in sight while Hazel just shouted for Elsa waiting for me to take her to the Frozen section.

I got a bit distracted when Hazel picked up two chicken thigh shaped objects and began to shake them. Oh my God! I knew that sound so well. "MARACAS!" I squealed. "T-They look like...that?" Ohhh that's why people called them chicken drumsticks. They didn't really resemble drum sticks but they definitely resembled maracas.

"Why are you so eager, dear? They're lovely maracas, but nothing to write home about." Freddie laughed. Then his eyes widened. "This is your first time seeing them, isn't it? Oh as a drummer you must be so excited, darling!"

"Yeah they're great sounding _and _great looking!" I beamed. I loved discovering new things even though now it wasn't as much as novelty because I was adjusted to my eyes.

"Papa! Papa! Papa!" Hazel reached up from her stroller to tug at my arm to get my attention. She pointed to something in the display case in the Frozen section. I wasn't expecting to find anything of interest for me in that direction. My mind was suddenly changed when I laid eyes on a mini car. The Elsa Jeep was an adorable blue car made for little kids.

"Roger, you need to get that for her!" Freddie insisted.

"I don't know." I sighed looking down at Hazel. "She's a little too young for this kind of thing." The car sure was beautiful though. If anyone's daughter would be driving around in it, it would be me...I mean my daughter. Yeah. Hazel.

I looked at the label. "It says ages 3 and up. Hazel is 14 months."

"Elsa!" Hazel pouted so sweetly and Freddie laughed. "The recommended age doesn't mean anything. You should do it, Rog. How can you say no to this little baby face?" Freddie pinched Hazel's cheeks and cooed. "Elsa!" Hazel squealed again.

"She would look so cute in that car." I said. I noticed the price tag. "$399?" Then I noticed the shiny wheels of the Jeep. "That's worth it to get my daughter a 4 wheeled friend." It was less than $1000 after all.

Was it a spontaneous and reckless decision made under the judgement of alcohol infused ice cream? Maybe. But what good decision isn't? I had the cashier ring up the box.

"You should give it a test ride." I grinned as I unveiled the machine of a dream from the box. I picked Hazel up out of her carseat and buckled her into the Jeep. "You push that button to turn it on and step on that pedal to..." Hazel's feet dangled without reaching the pedal. She was too small. Although she hardly seemed to notice because her interest was in tapping the horn on the wheel to make Elsa sing Into the Unknown. That was a dumb horn but it made Hazel happy and it wasn't Let it Go for once so I could live with it.

"You know what. I have an idea." I said. I unbuckled Hazel and crouched down into the car. Then I put her on my lap and buckled us. "I'm gonna drive us around! Are you ready, baby?" Hazel responded by hitting the horn again.

I floored it, expecting to zoom real fast and get Hazel to scream and laugh. Only the bloody thing only went up to 5mph. Lame! "Go Roger! Go! Ride the wild wind!" Freddie shouted throwing the maracas in the air.

"Are we having fun yet, Hazel?" I exclaimed.

"Merp." Hazel replied unenthusiastically. She pressed the horn again and that made her more impressed than my driving skills. 

Suddenly, out of nowhere a security officer stepped in front of the car. He put his foot on the hood, forcing it to come to a stop. "Sir, I'm gonna need you to step out of the car so I can give you a speeding ticket." He said. 

"What the fuck?" I looked to Freddie who was howling with laughter. Was this officer for real? 

"No need for profanity. Get out of the car." He said.

I rolled my eyes and obeyed. "Sir, have you been drinking? You know it's illegal to drive while intoxicated, correct?"

"What the fuck?" I repeated. 

"I'm gonna need you to blow for me." The officer was referring to his breath tester thing but I had a very dirty mind so I just started giggling. "Blow here, please." He repeated. Freddie was having the time of his life laughing it up at this bizarre situation. I followed the orders, convinced that this was some sort of prank. 

"Says here that you're over the legal limit. So you're under arrest." The next thing I knew I was being frisked and handcuffed. "I'm married!" I cried. "Stop being so kinky."

"Don't worry, Roger, I'll call Miami!" Freddie called as the handsy cop dragged me away.

***

It turns out that there's a jail on the bottom floor of the mall. I sat in the cell patiently waiting for someone to come to my aid. After what I felt like hours (but I was later told from Freddie was only 20 minutes), an officer unlocked the cell. "Alright, you're free to go. We're just letting you off with a warning. Have a good day."

"What the fuck?" I said again for what felt the 39th time today. 

Thankfully, Brian was waiting for me outside of the mall jail, but he didn't look pleased at all. Oh no! I batted my eyelashes and perked my lips, not sure what else to do. "Hi, honey! It's so lovely to see you!" 

"None of that, Rog. I'm very disappointed in you. I told you I trusted your judgement, and then you got arrested and you put Hazel in danger because of your recklessness." Brian said sternly.

"I did not. Freddie can vouch for me. Hazel was fine. That thing only goes 5 mph. We were barely moving." I protested. I tried again to get back on his good side. "Besides, isn't it kinda hot to say your husband got arrested. There's some sex appeal to that, right?"

Brian face palmed. "There's nothing sexy about breaking the law, Roger. You're lucky Miami sorted everything out with the officer or else you'd be transferred to a real jail cell. I expect you to write him a lengthy thank you note explaining that what you did was stupid and wrong."

"I ate ice cream and played with Hazel. How is that wrong?" I challenged. 

"Wait what? But the officer said you got drunk and drove a speeding car through the mall with Hazel on your lap." Brian softened. "Tell me the truth, Roger. I promise I'm not mad."

"But you're disappointed." I pointed out. We all knew that one was worse. 

Before I could tell my side of the story, Freddie came running with Azalea and Hazel trailing him in the Elsa Jeep. Azalea was driving. "Roger, darling! Are you okay?" He gave me a hug. "You have to admit it was probably the most hilarious thing in the world, so I hope you're not too upset."

"Dada! Dada!" Hazel tried to unbuckle herself. She made a gesture to the car. "Elsa!" She honked the horn again. "Papa." She gestured to the car one more time. 

"Papa got you this Elsa car?" Brian somehow translated that mess of cuteness and Hazel giggling in confirmation. "I'm glad you're happy, Hazel." Brian said, nodding with a sudden understanding. 

He looked down at the car then back at me. "How the hell did you manage to fit in there?" I shrugged, assuming I was forgiven. "Practice with cupboards." I replied. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I the only person who grew up wanting one of those mini Barbie Jeep things and kept getting disappointed when my birthday would roll around year after year and my parents would never get me one? All the "cool kids" would have one. LOL. They're actually super dangerous and should be banned. At least in my now adult opinion that's what I believe, but whatever. Sorry about all these silly stupid chapters lately. I use humor a lot to deal with stress and right now I'm kinda stressed but it's getting better. Hope you at least got some laughs out of this one.


	61. Time Waits for Nobody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hazel is growing up. Azalea and Robert start preschool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who got selected as a rep for my school's chapter of Florida Association for Women Lawyers? Yay! Still kinda stressed out....JK a month away from finals and I'm a little bit more than "kinda" stressed out! Don't worry about me. I'm fine. *Laughs and sobs* So that's about it on updates on my life that no one came here to read about. Here's a new chapter!

If you had told me 10 years ago that I'd be living out the cliche domestic bliss and be genuinely satisfied, I'd have told you to go fuck yourself. But here I was. A baby on my lap, a dog scampering by my feet, and a loving husband by my side.

"Babababa." Hazel babbled clapping her little hands together, completely unfocused on the book Brian was reading to her. "Hazel, shhh." I kissed her cheek gently as she made noises. "We need to know what happens next. Pay attention to Dada."

Brian grinned and kept reading. "George wanted to be a good little monkey, but somehow he always got into trouble..."

"Story of my life." I murmured, tossing the tennis ball so Valentine would stop barking. Hazel squirmed, trying to crawl off of my lap. "No, Hazel. It's story time." I told her. Valentine returned the ball and I threw it again. "Valentine fetch!" I told him, trying not to interrupt anymore.

Hazel finally decided she had enough of Curious George's antics and managed to wriggle out of my embrace and waddle away. "Oh no!" I sighed.

"Where is she going?" Brian laughed, closing the book. I shrugged and threw the ball again for Valentine. "Fetch!"

Hazel returned and dropped her unicorn plushie at my feet. She stared up at me expectantly. "It's your unicorn!" I stated dumbly. What did she want? "You wanna play with the unicorn?" Brian asked. I tossed the ball again for Valentine as Hazel continued to look up at us as if we could read her mind. When Valentine went for yet another round of incessant fetch, Hazel picked up her unicorn and threw it. Then she retrieved it and brought it back. "Hazel fetch?" She chirped.

Awww. What a little cutie. "Hazel fetch." I repeated and tossed the unicorn watching her scramble to go get it.

"Roger, no! Don't encourage that. She's not a dog." Brian said.

"This makes her happy." I reasoned. "She's way more interested in fetch than Curious George. I don't think any harm will come from it."

"Well I suppose Azalea went through her cat phase and nothing happened, but I just figured that was because she was being raised by Freddie." Brian said.

"Hazel fetch?" This time she dropped the toy in front of Brian. He shook his head smirking and picked it up and threw it. "Hopefully we're doing this whole thing right. Sometimes I think we're killing it, and then suddenly our girl thinks she's a dog."

"Hey." I took his hand in mine and offered him a warm smile. "We can do anything together. No one said raising a daughter would be easy, but we have each other."

"Thanks, Rog." Brian squeezed my hand back. "Good girl, Hazel!" He cooed when she brought the unicorn back again.

***

Waking up at an ungodly hour for something other than Hazel was never a way to make my morning.

_6:45 AM: 39 missed calls from _**Freddie**😸

**Freddie**😸**: **_Threat level Ay-Oh!_

**Freddie**😸**: **_Everyone get your asses to Garden Lodge ASAP!_

**Freddie**😸**: **_I'm serious!!!!_

"This had better be a bloody emergency." I grunted as I stumbled quickly through my morning routine, still half asleep, feeling a bit like my former blind self. Within 30 minutes, Brian, Hazel, and I made it to Garden Lodge.

There was a yellow school bus stopped in the middle of the street. Deaky and Ronnie were waving to Robert who was sticking his face out the window. Meanwhile, Azalea was desperately clinging to Freddie's leg refusing to let go as she screamed and sobbed hysterically and Jim try to pry her off.

"Sweetheart, you have to go to school!" Jim insisted.

"Please, darling, get on the bus!" Freddie begged.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Azalea wailed, refusing to budge.

"Well we have this to look forward to on Hazel's first day of school." Brian stated. Hazel watched curiously. "Az school?" she asked. I grinned. "That's right. Azalea has to go to school. Today is her first day of preschool."

Hazel then let go of my hand and toddled over to the bus, staggering to get herself up onto the platform steps. "Hazel school!" She said.

"Oh no, no, no, honey, you're too little for school." I carried her away from the bus doors. "It's Azalea who has to go."

She squirmed and tried to get on the bus. "Hazel school!" She said again. Brian helped me hold her back. "I know you're eager." Brian said. "But you have to wait till you're a bit bigger." "HAZEL SCHOOL!" She screamed over Azalea's sobs.

"This a bloody disaster." Freddie sighed. "Roger, why don't you tell Azalea about how awesome buses are because buses are cars?"

I frowned, still trying to hold back Hazel from fleeing. "I hate buses. They're the worst. I wanna drive really fast but then a stupid bus shows up and puts up its flashing light and stop sign and I have to stop because the law is dumb."

"Roger, that law is put in place so reckless drivers like you don't run down the little ones trying to get on and off. That would be negligence per se and you don't want that." Brian reprimanded.

"Well I haven't run over any kids yet so I think I'm good." I replied.

"Last call!" The bus driver hollered. "I can't keep waiting forever. You're gonna have to drive her yourself otherwise."

"HAZEL SCHOOL!" Hazel burst from our embrace and clambered up onto the platform. I tried to keep myself from swearing as I went to go and get her back. Only before I could, the bus driver looked down at Hazel, shrugged, shut the doors, and drove away.

Okay now I cursed. "FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCK!!!" I shouted. The others gasped and Azalea continued to cry.

***

We drove Azalea to school and caught up with the bus. Thankfully Hazel was giggling as Robert carried her off the bus. "Papa, Hazel school!" She squealed upon being returned to my arms safely.

"That's right Hazel, you tried to go to school." I tried not to be mad. In fact it was kind of impossible to be mad when she was so cute. "But you can't go to school for real until you're a little bit older." Brian told her gently.

"I saved Hazel." Robert announced. "Can I go home now?"

"No, silly boy. You still have to go to school." John told him.

"Az and Wob school? Hazel no school?" Hazel finally caught on. I hugged her. "That's right. Smart girl. You'll be ready Freddie for school in no time!"

When Azalea saw a girl with a matching Hello Kitty backpack go into the school building, she stopped crying, and ran after her, not bothering to say goodbye to Freddie or Jim. "Looks like she already found a friend." Jim said with a satisfied smile.

"Y-Yeah." Freddie's voice cracked and then he started crying. "She's growing too fast! Make it slow down, Jim. I just can't handle it!"

"It'll be okay, love. We'll see Azalea again in a few hours." Jim consoled him.

***

"What a day!" Brian exhaled as we finally laid down to sleep. "I know." I said, pulling up the covers. "I'm so exhausted. And Hazel's gonna be up at the crack of dawn, so we should get some sleep." I cuddled closer to him, and offered a soft goodnight kiss.

I could tell we were both very tired, but this closeness brought something else to mind. I yawned, trying to brush aside my dirty intentions. We needed sleep not sex. Besides, if past lessons were taken to heart, my screaming would wake Hazel and we'd hear her crying from her crib and it would ruin the mood. Another strange thing I discovered about finding my forever. I could still achieve with domestic bliss without sex. Too bad it was annoying as fuck to be abstinent. I just had to focus on other things. Like the way Brian's curls laid across the pillow like flowing water. So beautiful... "Bri..." I groaned. "Why are you so hot? Stop it!"

"Well if you wanna do something about it, you'll have to do it quietly so Hazel won't wake up." Brian flirted. 

Oh was that a yes? I accepted! "I can be quiet!" I shouted only to be shushed by Brian. Damn it! "I can be quiet." I tried again in a whisper. Brian nodded.

The reminder to be quiet soon left my mind along with any other rational thought because I was too overwhelmed with pleasure. My focus was on keeping my eyes open as they tried to flutter shut because I wanted to see every second of this intimate moment between the two of us.

"Papa? Dada?" The waves of pleasure immediately subsided and it was scary how quickly I came down. Brian gasped, quickly helping me to cover up as Hazel poked her head up by the bed. Shit! I was mortified. This was so awkward. How much did Hazel see? Did she know what was going on? Oh God! Would she be fucked up for life now? "H-Hazel...h-how did you escape your crib?" I stammered. 

"Cheewios." She replied nonchalantly. 

"No, honey." Brian responded surprisingly calmly. "It's bedtime, not snack time." With the sheet securely around himself he get up and picked Hazel up delivering her back to bed. I dashed to put on my shedded clothes and went to join them. 

"I can't believe that just happened." Brian said as he spun Hazel's mobile to get her back to sleep. 

"Hopefully she won't remember it and if she does it'll only be brought up through a hypnosis therapy session." I tried to make light of it and ended up laughing. "It's so funny but there's nothing to laugh about." I sighed. 

"God I feel awful. Look how innocent she is and now we've probably corrupted her." Brian shook his head and hummed a soft lullaby. 

Hazel was slowly dozing off and hopefully she would stay asleep longer this time. Before she completely shut her eyes, she cooed something softly. I could barely make it out. "Wove ooo."

It took me a second to realize what she had said in her little baby voice still learning how to properly form words. "Awww, she said she loves us."

"And we love her even though she's too pure for us." Brian said smiling brightly down at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chaotic little slice of life chapter but I'm happy with it. See you next time!


	62. The Black Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halloween is probably my favorite holiday and I'm so bummed that it's basically cancelled due to COVID like literally everything else. I'm told there's gonna be a 2nd/3rd wave and they announced they're cancelling Spring Break next semester cause they don't want people traveling and coming back with COVID. Ugh. So it looks like this won't be going away in 2021. Anyway to cheer us up here's a special spooooky Halloween chapter of the Blind AU! Hooray!
> 
> Trigger Warning: It's a Halloween Special and I was just assigned the Andrea Yates case in Criminal Law so expect some very dark and uncomfortable themes in this. *Evil laugh*

I was already up with Hazel, getting her her cheerios and drinking my coffee (with 1 and 3/7th sugars of course) when Brian got up. Yay! "Bri, Bri, Bri, look!" I shoved the newspaper in his face. "You're in the newspaper!"

"Good morning to you too, Rog." He yawned, taking the paper from me without the excitement than I anticipated. "Why are you up so early? I didn't even hear Hazel wake us."

"Just look at the newspaper!" I squealed. Who still reads newspapers you may ask? I do because I like the fact that I can finally see it. Growing up my parents didn't bother subscribing for a Braille copy because it was too much money and I only would've been interested in the comics anyway and the whole point of the comics were the visual aspects. Anyway now I get to see the comics and the boring article stuff too.

"Escaped mental patient wandering The Black Queen Forest and Campgrounds?" Brian read aloud.

I frowned. No that wasn't right. "No, not that article. Here." I pointed to the one below it.

_Animal Rights Activist, Brian May, to Perform with his Band at The Black Queen Forest and Campgrounds..._

_Dr. Brian May is on a quest to save all the woodland critters. So he and his band featuring his brothers and husband will performing a wildlife charity event this weekend. His band will feature the vocals and piano skills of his adoptive brother, Freddie Mercury. Mercury is known for his performances in the Royal Ballet as well as his world famous paintings featured in museums and on art collectors' walls around the world. What fans of Mercury might not know is that he has a hidden talent for singing and piano. Mercury will be singing a special song for the event March of the Black Queen, based on the legend of the ghost of the Black Queen who supposedly haunts the forest campgrounds of the venue..._

"I love Fred of course and don't mind sharing the spotlight with him but I wish they'd discuss the animals and the charity more." Brian sighed.

"Who cares? We're famous! We're gonna be stars!" I exclaimed. "We even have a roadie thanks to Crystal. It's like we're real rockstars." I knew that was the wrong thing to say in front of Brian but I realized that too late because I was too swelled up in the thrill of performing. I tried to correct myself when I caught Brian's disappointed gaze. "I mean um...it's great that we get to do something we love to bring awareness to animals who can't speak for themselves."

Brian nodded. "Much better." He wiped some milk and cheerio dust off of Hazel's face. "Are you excited, sweetheart? We get to spend the whole day in the forest learning about all the animals and then Papa, Uncle John, Uncle Freddie and I are going to perform and you'll get to watch us. Oh, Roger, don't forget her noise cancelling headphones. It might be a bit too loud for her little ears."

"Well I know you won't remember so that's on me." I teased.

"Elsa?" Hazel asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "No, honey, not today. We're going to the Black Queen Campgrounds. We'll see lots of trees and um...leaves...and..."

"Elsa?" Her eyes lit up as if she expected me to tell her that Elsa would be there. Brian laughed. "Maybe she'll be there, but we'll definitely be seeing lots of little critters like birds and squirrels and plenty of badgers of course."

"And the best part is we'll take a car to get there." I announced. Yeah camping wasn't really my thing, but I was up for the adventure and the car ride to the end of civilization. I was more excited about performing and seeing everything and just having a good time and eating the free pizza. It was sure to be a fun time.

*******

Well it was official. My new eyes weren't so novel any more. The park ranger was giving us a tour of the camp grounds. After about an hour I got bored of him pointing out all the different kinds of trees. We were in the forest. Of course there were trees. How long could we look at them and pretend to be surprised?

"And if we look at the leaves on this tree we'll notice thatthey're thin and folded..." The ranger monotoned.

"Twee." Hazel stated. Okay that was by far the highlight of this tour. I nodded. "Yes. Tree."

"No offense, darling, but these trees are so dull." Freddie announced what was on everyone's mind. "Where's the Japanese cherry blossoms? Or how about some banana trees? Those are nice. I thought the Black Queen would choose a more interesting forest to haunt."

"I like trees." Deaky said.

"Yes, I know, dear, but this is so mundane. Look at what it's doing to the kiddos." Freddie gestured to Azalea and Robert who were sleeping in their strollers.

"And if you look up at the branches on that tree, you'll see that they're perpendicular." The ranger droned on. "This is one of those exciting moments when what you learned in geometry class can relate to real life."

"Riveting." I remarked sarcastically.

"Ohhh look at that!" Brian gasped approached the tree. "Poor little thing." At first I didn't know what he was referring to, but then I spotted a strange bird creature with its wings trapped beneath a snapped branch. It was unlike any bird I had ever seen and appeared deformed. Instead of feathers it had fur along with very large pointy ears and piercing red eyes.

Brian removed the fallen branch from the creature's wing and scooped it up into the palm of his hand. "Don't worry, little guy. Our friends from the wildlife foundation will get you all healed in no time so you can spread your wings and fly away."

"Yup. We always have to rescue Dracula from snapped branches and such. He's always getting hurt and in critter rehab. For some reason he just loves to fly right into trouble. You could say he's blind as a bat." The ranger chuckled. I couldn't help but cringe at that stupid expression.

"Dracula is a rather intimidating name for a cute little fruit bat." Brian remarked. Cute? That demon spawn he was holding?

"You should be careful, Brian, dear." Freddie warned. "Dealing with bats in a haunted forest is never a good idea."

"Aye." Jim agreed. "My grandmother would share Irish lore stories about vampires to us when we were kids. You shouldn't mess around with bats."

"I'm a man of science, not superstition. Bats, like all creatures, are worthy of our respect and should not be literally demonized. Vampires are not real." Brian said firmly.

"Of course vampires are real." I told him. "You've just never met one before."

"I hope you're joking, Roger." Brian said indignantly. "Vampires are not—Ouch!" The bat decided it was a good time to bite Brian's hand. It left a small mark but nothing too major. Still I wanted to comfort him and kiss it better but I was a bit scared to get near the bat he was still holding.

"Well, it was nice knowing you, Bri." John said.

"Oh dear! Will you still be able to play guitar tonight?" Freddie voiced concern.

"I'm used to dealing with animals. I've been bitten once or twice before." My brave Brimi down played."It's really no big deal."

"Okay, but I'll still love you even if you turn into a vampire. Just promise to eat Freddie first." I said.

"Don't be ridiculous, Roger. It was just a nip and vampires are not real." Brian grimaced as the ranger put some cream and a bandage on the wound from his handy first aid kit. Once the ranger safely took the bat away from Brian, I felt safe enough to give him a consoling cuddle.

"If I was a vampire or cannibal I'd eat Deaky first because he's the sweetest. I bet he'd taste like a cinnamon bun." Freddie blurted.

"You know what Ronnie's probably missing me back at camp and we need to rehearse." John said slowly backing away from Freddie. Then he abruptly turned and made a run for it.

Despite the ranger yelling at us to stick together, the group dispersed with most of us going back to camp but others staying to look at the trees and possibly bird watch. For all the talk of wildlife, we hadn't seen much with the exception of Dracula.

I looked down at the bandage on Brian's hand sympathetically. "You sure you're alright?" I asked.

"It's fine, Roger, honestly. No need to worry." He assured me. We looked away from Hazel's stroller for a split moment just for the quickest, softest kiss and embrace. Big mistake

"TWEE!" Hazel figured out how to unbuckle herself and went dashing through the woods. Fuck!

"HAZEL!" I shouted. _'Don't lose your cool, Roger.' _The voice in the back of my head screamed. No, I wouldn't. I wasn't mad at Hazel. I was scared because she ran off alone in a haunted forest with vampire bats. Shit! "HAZEL!" How the hell was a 16 month old baby able to run off so quickly?

"Twee!" I let out a sigh of relief when I found her hugging the bark of a nearby tree. "I wove twee." She said contently. Aww. What a cutie. No, I wasn't like Michael at all. I would never ever ever hurt her. "Hazel," I didn't raise my voice, "we don't run away like that, okay?" Learning moment, not a berating or worse a beating. I shuddered at the thought of what my father would have done to me if I ever fled. _'You little piece of shit, so stupid running away and crying cause you're lost cause you're blind and stupid. Of course you're gonna get lost, you idiot!' _Nope, not going there. I was in the present. Hazel was sweet and I was a good father using this moment to teacher her right from wrong without harming her.

"Bri, I found her!" I called out, not sure where Brian went. "We can head back to camp now." Where did Brian go? Why did all these trees look the same? Shit. Were we lost? Hazel looked to me for guidance, but I couldn't offer any.

"Um...Hazel, honey, you know when Kristoff sings about being lost in the woods?" Well that was one way to tell her that we were kinda screwed.

"Elsa!" Hazel responded, clearly not understand.

"No, sweetheart," I sighed, "what I'm trying to tell you is that we're--"

"--Lost?" A strange woman emerged from the bushes. She was very fail with thing long whiteish blonde hair pulled back into a braid. Her skin so pale it was almost translucent from a clear lack of melatonin. The gown she was wearing was a faded blue and patchy. This woman almost didn't seem real like some sort of ghost that I could reach my hand through.

"ELSA!" Hazel squealed and ran to the mysterious woman. I held my daughter back. "Hazel, we don't approach strange ghost ladies." I whispered. "Elsa." She said again, writhing against my embrace.

"Do not be afraid. I am a spirit of the night. I am here to protect the forest from the fiends who prowl." The woman responded.

"Ohmygod! You're the Black Queen!" I gasped. The legend was real! I had to tell Freddie.Better yet I couldn't wait to rub it in Brian's face that ghosts are real. Haha!

"I see you have an angel, there." The Black Queen referenced to Hazel. "Have you sworn an oath to protect her from the demons? Or shall you make the same mistake as I once did?"

"Elsa!" Hazel was practically drooling as I tried to make sense of the ghost's words.

"So is being all cryptic an undead thing? I'm not too big on riddles and shit. But my husband is great with brain teasers." I told her.

"Roger? Hazel?" I heard a call though he sounded many years away.

"We're here, Bri!" I hollered. "We're—"

A clammy hand clasped my mouth. "SILENCE!" The Black Queen shouted and I knew her sudden shift in tone would have been terrifying enough to make Hazel cry if she wasn't so infatuated with Elsa.

"Listen clearly, foolish mortal, or suffer my curse!" Her voice bellowed. Hazel giggled even though this was horrifying.

"At a time when I was alive, I faced a fiend. The fiend lived inside the soul of my now perished husband. The demon within him sucked the blood of my angels, draining them dry. After my children lay bloodless, he tried to turn me but I killed us both before the change could overtake me. Now I protect the forest from the possessing fiends. You must do the same to protect your angel."

"Umm..." I tried to wrap my head around all of that and what she was trying to tell me.

"Your husband who is arriving is overtaken by a demon. He shall kill your child and change you through a bite to the neck. You must kill him first." The Black Queen warned.

"Shit! You mean when the bat bit him he really did turn into a vampire?" I grappled with what she was relaying. No, Brian wouldn't hurt me or Hazel. Even if he was a vampire. That would go against his very vegan nature. My sweet, gentle Brimi would never ever do anything so ghastly even if he was overtaken by demons or whatever. 

"Roger?" I screamed when I heard his call, now much closer. "Dada!" Hazel cooed, unperturbed by any of this. I turned around to see Brian coming. He grinned brightly when he saw us. No way was he a fiend when he had the smile of an angel. The Black Queen was mistaken. 

"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." Brian ran to embrace me. Wait why wasn't he reacting to the actual ghost with us? I turned back around only to discover that she was gone. Eek! She had vanished without a trace. 

***

_'Ding-Ding-Ding-Da-Da-Ding-Ding...'_

"That's a really cool riff, Deaky." Brian complimented the bassist. "Did you make that up?" He was so kind. There was no way. Brian was not a monster. It wasn't possible. John stopped playing and glared at Brian. Oh good! I wasn't crazy. Deaky was onto him too. Oh wait. No he wasn't. He was just being his usual sassy self. Damn it! I was overreacting. 

"Roger, darling, how can you play drums when your hands are shaky like that? What's the matter dear?" Freddie pulled me aside. "I know something is bothering you, my love. So it's best not to dwell on it and let it get pent up. Out with it." 

Well if anyone was going to believe me it would be Freddie. I might as well be honest. "I saw the spirit of the Black Queen and she warned me that Brian's a vampire and I have to kill him before he kills Hazel and turns me into a vampire."

"Wait? What?" Freddie gasped. "You saw the Black Queen? Oh tell me, darling. What did she look like? Was she gorgeous? What was she wearing? Did she have any jewelry?" 

Not the point of the conversation, but at least he didn't tell me I was insane. "Umm...she was very very pale and..."

Freddie shook his head. "No, no, no, dear. You're mistaken. The Black Queen is a beautiful, powerful woman of color. Hence the name. You clearly just saw some crazy white bitch who was culturally appropriating." 

"Look, the point is the bat bite turned Brian into a vampire." I cried. "And I don't know what to do. I can't kill him like the um...White Black Queen told me to. But what if he's not the same Brian now that he's become a vampire and he tries to hurt me and Hazel?" 

"Fred? Roger?" I screamed again when Brian approached. "My goodness, what's making you so jumpy?" He laughed. "We're breaking for lunch." Deaky announced. "There's pizza." 

I was on edge as we got our food. I knew Brian would avoid the pizza because cheese and pepperoni definitely weren't vegan. But why didn't he take the garlic bread? Was it because he was now allergic to garlic? I watched him chomp down on his spinach salad. Were his teeth always that sharp?

"Roger, you're not eating." He noted. Shit! I tried to act natural. I ended up nearly choking on my pizza by trying to put the whole slice in my mouth at once. Nobody batted an eye to that. I guess that meant I was doing a good job behaving normally. 

"You saw that he didn't eat the garlic bread, right?" I whispered to Freddie as we returned back to the stage to rehearse some more. 

"That is very suspicious." Freddie agreed. "Who doesn't like garlic bread? I suppose the only explanation is that he's a vampire."

"Who's a vampire?" Deaky asked way too loudly. The two of us shushed him. I made a subtle gesture to Brian who was tuning his guitar. John rolled his eyes. "Is that because of the bat bite? Seriously? Brian's not a vampire. Vampires can't be so curly and soft."

"He's being curly and soft to deceive us." Freddie reasoned. 

"Or, now hear me out, he's _always _curly soft even long before the vampire bite." John said. I gasped. "You just called it a vampire bite. Not a bat bite." "You know what I meant, Roger." Deaky retorted. 

Brian walked over and my heart raced. "Why are you three all huddled over here? Are you scheming against me."

"NO!" I shouted a little too quickly. Why did I sound defensive? It was still Brian, the man I loved. This was ridiculous. 

"Anyway, John, maybe we should work on that riff some more? I really liked it." Brian suggested. 

"What riff?" Deaky asked. 

"The one you were playing earlier, dear." Freddie reminded him.

"Ohhh. That riff. Yeah...I don't remember it. Didn't write it down. Sorry." John picked up his bass and started playing a completely different riff. 

"No, no, that's not it." I sighed. Without thinking, I clumsily picked up the Red Special, nearly dropping it as I slung it over my shoulder haphazardly, eager to just get the riff. I began to play the riff recreating it perfectly with my eyes closed. I played it rough enough to give it that funky edge Deaky was going for, strumming nearly hard enough to pop the guitar strings.. _'Ding-Ding-Ding-Da-Da-Ding-Ding...' _Perfect! Freddie clapped, Deaky looked unimpressed, and Brian looked about ready to murder me. Oops. 

"Roger, you don't just grab the Red Special like that. That was very reckless!" Brian shouted, his hands fisted and jaw clenched. Uh-Oh! "I got the riff." I stated with a cheeky smile. 

"You need to handle my guitar with more care. You know how important it is to me." Contradicting himself, Brian snagged the instrument back with force. "God, if anything would have happened to it, I might've snapped your neck." 

Whoa! Yeah I knew better than to mess with the Red Special, but I really never saw this side of Brian before. It was very scary to say the least. 

Brian sighed, his gaze softening. "Roger I--" I wasn't sure why I flinched when he reached to touch me. Maybe it was because the last person to yell and threaten me like that was Michael. But that monstrous outburst hadn't come from my Brimi. It was from someone or something else entirely. "Oh, Roger, please don't look at me like that. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." He sounded so sincere. "I love you." He spoke again, so gently. I wanted to cry. 

"I um hate to interrupt!" We all turned to see Ronnie stagger onto the stage, holding her protruding belly. Deaky approached her and gave her a hug with clear concern. "What's wrong? Did your water break?"

"No. I um...Well...We were so busy watching Azalea and Robert and there was so much excitement and...um...Hazel ran off and we lost her." 

"Again?" I cried, my heart sinking. "She couldn't have gotten too far. Let's go look for her."

*******

"AY-OH? AY OHHH?..."

I face palmed as we wandered aimlessly through the forest. "Freddie, it would help if you called Hazel, not Ay-Oh. She'll respond to her name."

"Don't be silly, darling. Everyone shouts Ay-Oh back. It's a kind of magic..._Di-da-di-da-di-da-di-da-de-do-de-do_..."

"Freddie, it's not working. Please try something else." I said. 

"Fine." Freddie cleared his throat. "_Mama, I'm gonna be your slave..." _Deaky popped out of the bushes._ "...All day long!"_

"This really isn't helping." I told them. 

"Hey!" Brian called us over. "I found an abandoned industrial shed. I think she might've wandered in there, so I'm going to check."

"Abandoned industrial shed? This haunted forest is very plot convenient." Freddie observed. 

Brian ran ahead to his find with the rest of us trailing not too far behind. We made it to the entrance of the shed and were about to go inside when there was a sudden sharp scream and cry. That sounded just like Hazel! "Shit! No! What have I done?" That sounded like Brian! The door to the shed swung back open and nothing could have prepared me for what came next.

My heart stopped dead in my chest and I couldn't breath. There was Brian, the love of my life, so gentle and kind, but he was holding Hazel who was covered in blood and more blood was dripping from Brian's face. No! No!

I collapsed to the ground, in sobs, unable to believe my eyes. Perhaps I was still blind as a bat and this was all in my imagination. I wasn't sure where Brian took Hazel. It didn't matter. Freddie consoled me looking easily as disturbed. Deaky had gone as pale as the Black Queen. "So..." He was the first to speak in a soft shaky voice. "What were you saying about Brian being a vampire again?"

***

"If I steak him in the heart, I'll go blind again." I sobbed. "I-I...I don't think I can do this. Why does it have to be me?"

"Because you're the one he'll least expect. Roger, you can't let him get away with killing Hazel. This needs to be done." Deaky said. 

"It's not the same Brian we know and love. This a heartless vampire. Remember that, dear, and you should be fine. Now go on and stab him in the heart." Freddie pushed me forward in Brian's direction. 

On unsteady trembling legs I followed the clogged footsteps in the ground leading to a nearby stream. Brian's back was to me as he was crouched by the water, likely cleaning the blood off his hands. He was dumping something into the water. Oh God! I felt sick. I wanted to hurl right into the water alongside Brian. To make matters worse he was singing as he did the deed. 

_"...Sail away sweet sister  
Sail across the sea  
Maybe you'll find somebody  
To love you half as much as me  
My heart is always with you  
No matter what you do  
Sail away sweet sister  
I'll always be in love with you_ _Forgive me for what I told you  
My heart makes a fool of me  
You know that I'll never hold you  
I know that you gotta be free..."_

"Bri, h-how could you?" I bawled. 

Brian turned around and had the audacity to smile that beautiful smile. "Hey, Roger, there you are. Wanna help me?"

"Help you? Why the hell would I want to help you...d-discard our daughter's corpse into the water?" I screamed. My hand was too shaky to properly grasp the stake. 

"WHAT?" Brian cried. 

"Papa!" Out of nowhere, Hazel, who appeared perfectly fine, albeit just in a diaper, came running and gave me a hug. 

"Hazel?" I gasped. "Y-You're...You're..."

"I know." Brian laughed, holding up what he was putting into the water which was her clothes. "We had spare diapers but no spare clothes. So I had to wash them. I guess I'll take blame for not remembering to pack a spare outfit. Although it was really unlikely that I'd dump a bucket of red paint all over her."

"Paint? Y-You mean...it wasn't blood?" I looked down at Hazel who was giggling and babbling, clearly not hurt in any way. Then she walked over to Brian and hugged his legs. "Dada twee." She stated. 

"No, Hazel, I'm not a tree." Brian said. 

"That's debatable." I let out an exhale, slowly starting to gaining my composure. 

"Listen, Roggie," His sweet voice saying my nickname made me feel like I was melting. "I really am sorry about scaring you earlier over the Red Special. It wasn't right of me for losing my temper like that. I never should have yelled and threatened you. I'll find a way to make it up to you." Brian said, sounding so much like his old self. 

"So y-you're not a vampire." I accepted. 

Brian shook his head. "No, Roger. I'm not. You're silly." 

_Brian's POV (earlier)..._

"Brian, I am so glad I caught you!" The ranger exclaimed before I could take my plate. "The salad and dressing are all vegan thankfully. But I'm afraid some of the other orders got mixed up. The pizza is pepperoni and plain cheese, not vegan cheese, and the garlic bread have butter."

"That's not a problem. I like salad." I told him, loading my plate with lots of leafy spinach. "This whole event has been quite lovely. Thanks so much for helping to organize it."

"Oh I'm glad you think so. I was worried that the nature tour was a bit of a disastrous. People evidently aren't too interested in trees." He said.

"The nature trail tour could've gone um a bit better." I said trying to be honest. "But overall you're doing a great job. Keep it up!" 

I joined Roger, Freddie, and John who were already eating. Well John and Freddie were, but Roger surprisingly seemed to have no appetite. That was strange. Normally Roger would have devoured an entire pizza pie by now. Earlier while on the trail he had complained about feeling peckish. Perhaps he was feeling ill. "Roger, you're not eating." I noted. 

Roger blinked seeming to have come out of a trance. He then tried to stuff the entire slice of pizza in his mouth, which was a very Roger thing to do. I guess he was acting like himself then. I put any concerns out of my mind and returned to my salad. 

When we were finished with our meals and heading back to rehearsals, I spotted Roger and Freddie up ahead whispering about something. I expected that those two were up to no good. Nothing out of the ordinary, I suppose. Without thinking much of it, I picked up my guitar again and continued to tune it. The small bandage on my hand was no problem at all. Perhaps that's why Roger was acting a bit off. He was worried about me. That was sweet, but this really was a nonissue. 

I looked up and saw that my three bandmates had completely abandoned me and were all huddled together in the corner of the stage. They were definitely up to something. Knowing Freddie and Roger I would say it was some sort of prank against me. I braced myself for something stupid. Oh well. So long as they didn't mess with my glorious Red Special. I put my baby down and walked over to see what the boys were up to. 

"Why are you three all huddled over here? Are you scheming against me." I inquired. I was joking of course, but there's a truth to every tease so to say. 

"NO!" Roger shouted a little too quickly. Okay, he and Freddie definitely had something planned for me, and Deaky was no doubt an accomplice. I had to be prepared for anything. I got annoyed by their childish tricks, but I usually didn't mind so long as their foolishness didn't lead to destruction. But I trusted that Roger knew better than to hurt my Red Special. 

As if to prove me wrong, Roger abruptly grabbed the guitar without a care in the world. He roughly swung it over his shoulder and nearly dropped it in the process. No! No! No! How could Roger do this to me? He knows that's one of my most prized possessions. Did he want to get me angry? How could Roger have the audacity to do this? Was it just me or was his strumming overly violent? Was he deliberately trying to break the strings? This wasn't funny. I was fuming. 

"Roger, you don't just grab the Red Special like that. That was very reckless!" I shouted, grabbing the guitar back and into safe arms. Roger just smiled like he was completely disregarding my feelings. This had to be deliberate. "You need to handle my guitar with more care. You know how important it is to me." I practically cradled it, feeling so caught off guard by how disrespectful Roger was being toward me. It was like he didn't care at all that I was upset. Of course that only escalated my anger. "God, if anything would have happened to it, I might've snapped your neck." 

Wait...Oh no! I should not have said that. Not to my Roger. He was more important than a silly guitar anyway. God, what just came over me. I was supposed to be the voice of reason. How could I give in to my own raw emotion? More importantly, how could I ever hurt Roger like that? The frightful look he gave me broke my heart. Rightfully so because I was totally in the wrong here. I sighed. Nothing I can't undue with a heartfelt apology, right? Man, I really messed up and never ever should have threatened Roger like that. Time to make amends as best I can...

"Roger, I--" He flinched away from my touch, staring up at me like I was a foreign entity. No, not a foreign entity, this was the kind of look he would give to someone he knew very well. It would go to his father. Now it was directed to me. "Oh, Roger, please don't look at me like that. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." Would my words be enough to remedy this situation? I wanted Roger to know that this was such an awful mistake and I felt horrible. No one should ever be treated like that. "I love you." I told him. Roger looked like he was about to cry. Well that made two of us. 

***

I was still feeling miserable about the way I treated Roger, but right now I had to focus on finding Hazel. It took a while but eventually I stumbled across a lead. I wasn't sure why there was an abandoned industrial shed in the middle of the woods. I recalled the ranger mentioning something about a space being used to store some tools and the red paint used for fake blood when doing a vegan demonstration. That was probably it. So I informed the others and went inside to investigate. 

"Dada!" Sure enough, there was my sweet girl giggling as she played with an empty can of paint. Thank goodness the more dangerous tools like screwdrivers and wrenches were on shelves above her reach. 

As I reached down to get her I forgot how tall I was for a moment, and bonked into one of the shelves. It didn't hurt , but the damage was what followed. A can of red paint came flying down and it opened midair, pouring all over Hazel. The paint rained down on her leaving her completely drenched in a thick red coat. As any baby would do in that situation, Hazel screamed and cried. ""Shit! No! What have I done?" I scolded myself. 

I picked Hazel up and consoled her, rocking her in my arms gently until she calmed down. "Dada." She cooed softly, putting a hand on my cheek. I smiled down at her, bopping her nose and laughing as she did the same. No doubt my face also had red paint on it by now. But my biggest concern was Hazel's safety. I carried her out of the shed. "Come on, baby, let's get you cleaned up." 

_Roger's POV_

"It's okay, Bri." I assured him, giving him a tender kiss. "It was wrong of me to be so reckless with the Red Special. I would've lost my temper if it were the other way around." 

"So we're good?" Brian laughed as Hazel snuggled herself in between us. 

"We're good." I confirmed. "I'm glad you're not a vampire."

I leaned in to kiss him, but we were once again interrupted. "Hey! Are you okay?" It looked like the ranger, but there were two police officers next to him.

"Yeah, we're fine." I told them. "No vampires here."

"Vampires? That's cute." One of the officers laughed. "No, we're looking an escaped mental patient. Lady Elda. She's very dangerous. Have you seen her?"

"Elsa?" Hazel asked eagerly. 

"We haven't seen her." I said. 

"Elsa!" Hazel said again. She pointed in the distance where the Black Queen was lurking. 

"There she is! Good spot, little girl!" One of the officers exclaimed. "Alright, Lady Elda, let's get you back to the institution." 

"But I need to slay the fiends and save the angel." The woman screamed as she was apprehended. 

"Bye-bye Elsa!" Hazel waved.

"Hazel, no that's not Elsa." Brian said. 

"It's a relief to no longer have that crazy lady running around our campgrounds." The ranger said. "She drowned her kids and stabbed her husband claiming the only way to save the kids from the demon possessing her husband was to kill them. Then she tried to kill herself. I'm glad she's getting the help she needs." 

"Wait what?" I cried. "T-That wasn't the Black Queen? That was just so psycho who murdered her family?" 

"The Black Queen is nothing more than a legend. There's no such thing as ghosts and vampires." The ranger said and Brian nodded. "Now I believe you two need to get back to your band and perform." 

"No more wandering off Hazel." I told her sternly as we walked back to the campgrounds. "There are dangerous things in these woods." Then I smiled up at Brian knowing he'd protect me from the monsters. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween everyone! Remember to stay safe this year while still having fun.


	63. Drowse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger feels insecure after a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bit of a writers' block and finals are in 12 days *laughs nervously*, but I'm back with some much needed fluff!

_Roger's POV_

There were lots of reasons to be happy. Ronnie was going to give birth to Deakling #2 any day now. Meanwhile Azalea and Robert were learning the alphabet song, and Hazel was cute as always. Freddie was recently named one of most successful and influential young artists of the last decade. His painting "The Sleepy Deaky" (title is self explanatory; it's a painting of Deaky sleeping) sold a record amount of copies and was now a common site in any art connoisseur's collection. People just can't get enough of Deaky. So that's how we found ourselves at another art auction toasting and celebrating with friends and family. 

It was rare to see Freddie's shy side as the cameras rolled and reporters pestered him with questions. I guess I couldn't blame him. The flashes of the cameras caught me off guard as well. The media was just eating him up. 

"Mr. Mercury, what was your inspiration for the painting?"

"Um, he's sitting right over there..." When Freddie pointed to Deaky, Deaky gave him one of those "don't you dare" looks. The attention remained fully on Freddie. 

"Mr. Mercury, is it true that you're also a musician?"

"Is your voice as good as the songs you put out on Youtube or is it auto tuned?"

"Can we hear you sing?"

Freddie shook his head hesitantly. "I don't know about that, darlings. Believe me, nobody wants to hear me sing."

"Yes we do!" I hated to put Freddie on the spot, but...oh fuck it. He needed a confidence boost. "Sing, Freddie, sing!" Brian took away my champagne glass with a sigh, but my drunk encouragement did the trick nonetheless. "Sing! Sing! Sing!" Everyone began to chant. 

_"Can anybody find me..." _Freddie began meekly. Then there was that sparkle in his eye as everyone became captivated. He grinned. "_Somebody to..."_

_"Loooove." _I harmonized. 

"Okay let's do it!" Freddie exclaimed, strutting across the floor like it was a stage. The fear was completely lost now. He sang, completely unaccompanied by his piano, but it didn't seem to matter. He poured his heart and soul into the rendition. He danced around as he sang, angelically crooning to the heavens, asking to find somebody to love. 

_"Can anybody find meeeee...." _Freddie inhaled before reaching the final high note. _"Somebody tooooooo...." _He dramatically flung himself at Jim. _"Looooooooveeeeeee...." _The crowd went nuts as Freddie pulled Jim into an impromptu waltz and Brian and I continued with the background vocals. 

"Best art auction ever!" Crystal screamed. He popped open another bottle of champagne and I gasped as it exploded all over the room. I don't think I've ever seen that before. Add that one to the list. 

Freddie looked into one of the cameras, smiling proudly without any regard for his teeth. "Azalea, darling, if you're streaming this at home, please go to bed now."

"Phoebs, send her to bed please." Jim added. 

The rest of the night we spent dancing and having fun with champagne while reporters commented on how it was odd that an art auction was such a festive occasion akin to Times Square on New Years Eve. "Just goes to show you that Mr. Mercury puts a fun spin on everything he touches." A lot of the more snobby art lovers walked out in disgust, but we didn't care. 

Drunk and giggling Crystal and I walked up to the man of the night who had a champagne foam mustache on top of his mustache. "Fred, I mustache you a question." I snickered. "I don't know, Rog, perhaps you should shave it for later." Crystal laughed. Freddie beamed and guffawed along with us, sufficiently drunk and happy. 

"Roger...where's your curly hubby?" He slurred. "I think you need to yeet him over here and give him a big ol' kiss. Cause tonight is all about love...and something about painting a cute picture of Deaky or something."

"'s a good question, Freddie...Where's my BriBri?" I glanced around the room, searching through the people dancing trying to find Brian. 

Finally, I found him in the corner, talking with another tall and lanky man dressed in an all black suit. They were in the midst of a conversation, but I had too much champagne in me to regard it. I walked over and tugged on Brian's arm, trying to get him to come dance with us.

"Ah, Roger, this is Dr. Pleakley." Brian stated, oblivious to the wild party that was going on around them. "We were just discussing our research on Mars." 

"Yes. My wife dragged me here because she loves art. Now Dr. May and I just happened to come across each other by chance. Fellow scientists tend to congregate I suppose. Now, Dr. May, where were we. I believe you mentioned the centrifugal force..."

Wow! Brian and this guy sure had a lot to talk about. Brian was completely engrossed in their intellectual dialect while I struggled to decipher all of the bigs words they were using. For the first time since the night began, my smile faded. I knew Brian loved me of course. But sometimes I wondered if he ever got bored with me. I couldn't offer him these in depth scientific conversations. I didn't have the intellectual capacity and knowledge to keep up with him. Brian was such a deep and philosophical thinker, whereas I appreciated things as they are. Especially now with my new eyes. I never challenged or questions the things I saw. I accepted them. Did that tire Brian? Was he looking for a companion who would be more thought provoking?

"Roger, c'mon...it's not time to talk about space...let's join the conga line!" Crystal dragged me away from my distracted husband and I suddenly found myself back enjoying the conga line which Deaky had started. 

***

"Okay, Hazel. Today's the day." I announced to the sweet baby curled up on my lap. "Let's do this." I opened up the book, flipping past the front cover for the first time. "Time to learn about space dust!" 

I got about halfway through the first page of Brian's book before I realized I couldn't comprehend any of it. Hazel stared down at the page cluelessly. She touched the text and looked up at me. 

"No, honey, Bri--I mean Dada didn't make any Braille copies of his book. We have to look at page, not touch it." I told her. 

"Elsa." Hazel stated. Then I realized she was referring to her Frozen picture book. God, I still thought like a blind man sometimes. I felt stupid. "No, this isn't a picture book. This is a grown up book with big boring words and no pictures." I said. "But Dada wrote it and I wanna understand it so I can show Dada that I'm interested in his work and I can be smart too."

Hazel looked down at the book again, and then grimaced in confusion. Or maybe that was her poop face. "Cheewios." She proclaimed

"Oh no, baby. Diaper change first. Then you can have a snack." I ignored Hazel's screams of irritation at not getting her way, but she quieted down thankfully when I started changing her. I was looking forward to starting her potty training soon. Although she was growing up way too fast. "There, all set to go. Fresh clean bum." I announced making her giggle. 

"Cheewios!" Hazel said again. 

"Yes, yes, I'm getting them." I gave her a bowl of cheerios and watched as she happily played with them and ate them in a messy fashion. Maybe I was procrastinating, but I figured it was more importantly to give Hazel a bath after she ate than to continue with "story time". I couldn't have my daughter coated in Cheerio dust. It just wasn't right. 

"Such a big girl, you're able to go in the tub instead of the sink now!" I applauded, as I got the water nice and warm and applied the bubble bath solution. "Bubbles!" Hazel said out of nowhere and I smiled. "Yes, that's right! Bubbles! Now you have lots and lots of room for more bubbles in your bath!" 

She didn't seem to mind as I untangled and shampooed her hair because she was distracted by her duckie and all the bubbles that surrounded her in the water. 

I heard the door open. "Roggie? Hazel?" Brian called. "Dada." Hazel cooed in response. "I'm giving her a bath!" I shouted to let Brian know we were doing alright. 

_"It's the fantastic drowse_

_Of the afternoon Sundays  
That bored you to rages of tears..." _

I sang softly as Hazel played and giggled in her bath. Hazel looked up at me, and then splashed some bubbly water in my face. "Bubbles!" She squealed. 

Now I was way too mature to splash back. No way would I stoop to that level! So instead I took Hazel's duckie and squeezed it making the squeaky sound. Hazel grabbed the duckie back and plunked it back into the water, making a big splash. Then her attention was suddenly on the water. She ran her hands through the water. "Papa?" She looked up at me and then pointed into the water, running her hands through it again. "Bubbles?"

I immediately reflected on the first time I saw water. "Yeah, when you make splashes. The water changes. It gets all ripply." I ran my hand through the water, dispersing the bubbles. "You can't really feel it, can you? But you can definitely see it." 

"Why are you two so cute?" Brian walked in and observed us. He crouched down and gave me a kiss and a kiss to Hazel's wet curly head.

"Dada. Bubbles." Hazel tried hold a handful of bubbles up to show him. She frowned when they popped and she tried again. 

"She reminds me so much of you." Brian laughing, bopping her nose with more soap bubbles. 

"Me?" I gasped. "No way. She reminds me more of you. She's so smart and keen on gathering knowledge. I'm not that sharp."

"I'll tell you you're not that sharp the way you put yourself down like that, love. Hazel is just like you because she's so bright. She's inquisitive and curious in the best possible ways. And you're the same. Always keeping me on my toes. Never a dull day without you." Brian said. 

"I-...You don't think I'm a dumb blonde who can't hold an intellectual conversation?" That came out wrong, but somehow I knew how to phrase it just perfectly to bring my insecurities to the forefront. 

"No. Of course not. When did I ever say that? Why would I ever say that?" Brian seemed taken aback by the question. "You challenge me all the time, and it's great. You make me think of things in new ways I never thought possible. I love the unique way you view the world, and that's why Hazel is reminding me of you. You're anything but an empty head, Roger. And we can't all be rocket scientists. I hope you know that."

"I tried reading one of your books." I sighed. 

"Wait. You actually read it? No one ever bothers to read them. That's great! What did you think?" Brian was so eager and I didn't want to disappoint him. 

"I couldn't get past the first page." I admitted. 

"Oh." His smile faded. "That's alright. It's not for everyone. I know that. I like to keep my work life and my private life separate after all. I could bore you and talk about space dust for hours and hours, but what would be the fun in that when we can talk about something you'd like too, like music. Nobody said we had to share the same interests." 

"Bubbles!" Hazel interjected, splashing around again.

"If it were up to Hazel, we'd just talk about bubbles all day long, and I'd be fine with that too." Brian said. 

"I think we'd all be fine with that." I remarked, giving her the teeny tiniest splash back. Hazel giggled and splashed me back again. 

"Okay, baby. It's time to get out and dry off. We don't want you turning into a prune." I now understood that reference because Brian showed me what prunes looked like and apparently your skin gets wrinkly like that when you're in the water for too long. I've decided that prunes are both gross looking and gross tasting. I took Hazel's tiny hand in mine and examined her fingers. "See, they turned all yucky and prune like. That's what happens." I touched her fingers gently. "They feel all wet. You can't really tell that they're wrinkly just by touching them, but you can see it."

"You're amazing, Rog!" Brian said out of nowhere. "Look how engaged you have her. I could never get her full undivided attention for so long like that. I'm telling you, your perspective on the world is a gift. And I want you to treasure it the way I do. Okay, love?"

"I guess I know what it's like to be like Hazel and seeing it all for the first time and not understanding what she's looking at." I said as I shut off the water. I observed Hazel watching it all travel down the drain with great interest. "It would be hard for someone else to comprehend that everything is still so new for her."

"Yes. Well I hope neither of you ever change." Brian replied, pulling me close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing to see here. Just some mindless fluff. Move along and have a nice day! 💞


	64. Back to the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old memories come back to haunt Roger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaah! Finals start on Friday and I'm not ready Freddie! *Sobs* I'm so scared. IDK what's going to happen if I end up flunking out. Don't really have a plan B for something other than law school so that sucks. No more overachieving for those straight A's. I just wanna survive. Anyway here's a new chapter.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:
> 
> This chapter deals with suicide and depression. Not as sad as some of my other chapters with Roger's flashbacks, but be warned.
> 
> Angst ahead!

_Brian's POV_

Would it be an off day if Roger wasn't screaming? Part of me wasn't surprised when I came home to Roger aggressively shouting and throwing one of Hazel's plushies against the wall. Meanwhile Hazel was watching Frozen, completely unperturbed by Roger's yelling. So just an ordinary Tuesday?

"Aaaaaaaaahhhh!" Roger was running out of toys to throw, so he reached for a pillow and flung it across the hall.

I sighed, and put away the various dolls, plushies, and squeaky toys (those belonged to Valentine) that Roger had tossed all around. "Now, Roggie," I said gently, "what kind of message does this little temper tantrum show to Hazel?"

Roger looked back at Hazel who was glued to the TV screen. "Look at how quiet and well-behaved she is." I remarked."So why don't we take some deep breaths and try to reach that point. Okay?"

Unsurprisingly Roger responded by screaming in my face. I knew there was no point in trying to reason with Roger when his anger took over like this. Instead I ignored him and sat down alongside Hazel, giving her a kiss. "Elsa!" Hazel pointed to the telly, oblivious to the raucous Roger was causing.

"Yes, it's Elsa." I stated pretending to care as I looked down at my phone. I figured it wouldn't be the worst to reach out for help. So I sent out a text to the group chat. _SOS! I think Roger is broken. -Bri_

**John**🥺: _Have you tried turning him off and on again?_

**Freddie**😸: _^Roger is a robot. Confirmed! I knew he was too pretty to be real!_

Well, those two weren't being any help, but I should have expected that. Freddie had his own troubles taking care of Azalea, and John was anticipating the birth of baby Michael, so I--Wait a minute.

"Roger, I know why you're upset." I gasped, rushing over to try to intervene once more. "But Deaky choosing to name his baby Michael is no reason to act out like this."

Roger paused for a moment, but only to change his aim of Valentine's squeaky bone away from the wall and toward me. I dodged the toy just in time. "That's not why I'm pissed!" He shouted. "I'm just so...fucking...angry...because...they...those fucking bastards...Aaaah!" Were we making progress? It seemed like there were some more decipherable words in that little ramble. "Easy, Rog, let it out...coherent sentences. Tell me what's making you so mad."

"I..I just...Aaaah!" The final scream was more a howl of frustration rather than one of lashing contempt. Then Roger clamped his teary eyes shut, stood up on his tiptoes and smashed his lips against mine rather chaotically. Then he blinked open his eyes, tears overflowing. "I like seeing you after we kiss. It reminds me of opening my eyes for the first time." He sniffled, clearly a lot calmer now. Perhaps that kiss did the trick in grounding him, in which case I was happy to help.

"Why don't you just slow down and tell me what happened. Alright? Can you do that for me, honey?" I said softly.

Stifling back more sobs, Roger gave me a soft hug and muttered something inaudible as he nuzzled his head by my shoulder. Eventually I picked up on a soft" sorry". I was more concerned than I was upset. "It's alright, love. I just want to know if there's something bothering you, so we can take care of it."

Roger walked over to his laptop and pulled up his email. "Here. Everything you need to know is in this message. I-I don't wanna have to live through this again. Please look at it by yourself." He dried his eyes and stumbled over to Hazel, joining her on the couch. "You know I love you, baby girl." He murmured, pulling Hazel onto his lap. "Elsa!" She responded.

Meanwhile I looked over this mysterious email that had Roger so freaked out.

_Hello Roger,_

_I'm an investigative journalist, and recently I've been looking into a conspiracy theory and allegations surrounding the independent film company Rhye Studios. I am reaching out to you on a very personal matter regarding the role you played in the studio's award wining documentary Life in the Dark...._

I recalled Roger mentioning something about a documentary crew coming to film him and his friends over his senior year of high school. I kept reading.

_...I'm not sure if you're aware of the rumors, but the crew of the Rhye Studios documentary team, known for showcasing the lives of the physically and mentally handicapped have allegedly acted unethically in handling their film stars. After doing some digging I believe I've reached the truth. The rumors are indeed accurate. The documentary team takes advantage of their participants and manipulates the footage to craft the most engaging narrative. While this would be acceptable in a forum like reality television where participants are aware of what the cameramen are up to, Rhye Studios is actively meddling in the lives of innocent and often helpless people. I've managed to gather some leaked footage that speaks for itself..._

I clicked on the first video file somewhat hesitantly. I didn't want to watch my poor Roggie being taken advantage of in any way whatsoever. My mind was going to very dark places with the vagueness of the journalist's writing, and I was scared at what to expect.

Thankfully, it didn't appear to be anything sinister at least at first glance. It was a man in a white lab coat, presumably a doctor sitting down to an interview.

_"I am apprehensive about this surgery. While I've performed thousands of eye surgeries over my career, I've never quite encountered a case like Roger's. It's less about his eyes and more about his nerve endings, so it's more of a partial brain surgery than an eye surgery. It's a very difficult case unfortunately. Our team is going to have to remove infected nerves cells and shock the remaining dead nerve cells and create an artificial pathway reconnecting them to the eyes. It's clear why Roger's files are so discouraging and no surgeon has been able to give him the results he's wanted. I made sure not to directly promise him his sight back. But if we do our best and all goes well, hopefully he'll at least get partial vision from this." The doctor reached for his cup of coffee. "By the way I wanna thank your crew for taking such an interest in these blind kids. It's great what you do. I wish I could help them all."_

_"AND CUT!"_

_A hand suddenly covered the camera, but then it was removed, and the film continued to roll._

_"So you don't think you'll be able to help Roger?" The man from off camera asked._

_The doctor sipped his coffee. "No, I didn't say that. I'll do what I can. That's what I'm saying. We have the best tools and technology available and my team and I are ready to go. There's nothing more we can offer."_

_"You know it would break his heart if you failed, but he would gain the audience's sympathy." The interviewer responded._

_"Bless that boy! Why would you say a thing like that? We want this surgery to succeed." The doctor cried._

_"Yes, of course, but happy endings don't win Oscars, if you know what I mean." He replied without a hint of compassion._

_"No. I'm not sure I understand." The doctor exclaimed. "Why wouldn't you want that boy to be able to see?"_

_"Because tear jerking documentaries are more successful and earn more money than your run of the mill generic fluff. And like we said in the ad, we won't be paying you until our revenue from the film comes in. I doubt you flew all the way from America to do all these surgeries for a lousy price."_

_The doctor gasped. "I answered the advertisement because I wanted to give back and help these kids. I didn't do it for the money. I thought you gave a damn about the children too, but evidently I was wrong."_

_"C'mon, doc. Get real. How much money will it take for the highlight of the film to be poor Roger's surgery failing when all his friends get to see again. It'll break the audience's hearts...and their wallets."_

_"You're despicable. I hope you rot in hell!" The doctor shouted._

_"Sir...I um hate to interrupt." Another voice came from off camera. "But it looks like that camera is still on."_

_"It is? Oh FUC--" The footage cut out._

I sat there staring back at my own reflection in the computer screen, stunned. Did that really just happen? How could those bastards try to bribe the doctor like that? Would they seriously jeopardize Roger's surgery for a profit? Now I was more afraid than ever to click on the next video.

This one appeared to be a sped up security camera footage from a hospital room. I watched carefully, not sure where this was going. Then suddenly a man dressed in all black quickly snatched several tools from the surgery table and replaced them with nearly identical tools he had in his pocket. Before anyone could catch him, he ran off. A few moments later, a blonde boy with a service dog was escorted inside by doctors. Then the video ended. I rewatched the video again just to make sure I saw all of that correctly. There was no denying it. That man clearly tampered with the surgeon's tools right before Roger went in.

Dare I move on to the next video? I already felt sick to my stomach. Still, I clicked on it. Again, the doctor was being interviewed.

_"So how do you think the surgery went, doc?"_

_"We'll know in a few days when we can remove the bandages. I'm hopeful, but it seems like fate has a different plan for Roger. We had our tools all cleaned and accounted for and ready to go right before surgery. But for some reason, the blades felt more dull than normal so we had a harder time carving out those infected nerve endings, and the shocker we use to reactive the dead nerve cells didn't seem to bring as strong of a charge as it normally does. I'm just praying that what we did was enough to at least give him partial vision, even if it's just in one eye. Anything. That poor boy has been through too much already for this not to have worked."_

_"You know maybe we shouldn't include this interview in the final cut." Someone muttered._

"It's too suspicious." I said, now fully aware of the team's foul play and what it did to innocent Roger. How could they purposely tamper with the surgeon's tools like that? They were sociopathic!

One final video. There couldn't be anything worse than what I just saw. I took a deep breath and clicked on it.

It appeared to be some crew members in the editing room working on the footage they captured. They didn't seem to realize the camera was on.

_"Yeah, yeah, that's great. We'll have them all celebrating Chris getting his eyesight back, and then we'll cut to Roger's post surgery interview. Ned's out getting that one right now. He should be emailing us the footage right...Oh speak of the devil. Ned's calling me now." The man chuckled and answered his cellphone. "Hey, Ned. We were just compiling the footage we have from...Oh shit! He did WHAT?"_

_The other crew members stopped their work and looked up curiously. The man hung up the phone and announced "Roger Taylor committed suicide."_

_Silence._

_And then. "So...Do we fade to black and put up a stat on how many blind people kill themselves or something?"_

_"Oh yeah, yeah. That's brilliant. And then we get some home video footage from his family and have an 'In Memorial' kinda thing. I love it! Oscars here we come!"_

_Then his phone rang again. "Hi Ned. I just told the crew in editing the news. So we're gonna--Wait. He survived? What do you mean he survived? Fuck!" He hung up his phone and announced to the crew. "Change of plans. Roger's dad found him and brought him to the hospital. He's gonna live. I guess we'll have to do a post interview once he wakes up. It'll be a lot less depressing this way, but I'm sure it'll at least get us one Oscar nomination at a bare minimum."_

I was appalled. Those bastards were actively rooting for the death of my soulmate. How could they? How dare they? I wasn't sure what I could do about any of this, but I knew I needed to be there for Roger.

Hazel had fallen asleep on Roger's lap, and he sat perfectly still watching the end credits to Frozen 2 with tears falling down his cheeks. I turned off the TV and sat down next to him, not sure what to say. What do you say to that kind of unconscionable thing? They potentially ruined Roger's life. He could've died because of them.

"Sorry 'bout all the screaming...and the throwing of things." Roger said quietly. "I overreacted."

"Just a bit." I tried to make light of it, but I couldn't. I reached over and took his hand, careful not to interrupt Hazel's nap. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better." He replied. "Apparently it's a good narrative for me to be dead." Roger sounded so deflated, and it hurt my heart to watch him go through this kind of emotional turmoil.

"That's bullshit." I told him, squeezing his hand. "You know it's bullshit."

"Is it bullshit? God, I thought I put everything in my past behind me when Michael died, but now..." He sighed. "You deserve better, Brimi. I-I shouldn't even be here."

My heart sank. No! I wouldn't let him go down that dark path again. I had to do everything in my power to bring him back to the light. "You're exactly where you belong and where I need you to be." I stroked Hazel's hair as she slept soundly. "Where she needs you to be."

"But I'm a shitty father. I let the telly distract her while I raged out like the hulk. I'm utterly pathetic." Roger sulked.

"You should be angry after watching those videos. I'm certainly pissed off. Those fucking bastards hurt you for their own benefit. It's despicable. You are in no way a bad father or a bad person for acting out after finding out about all of this. It's okay, Roger. You're okay." I gave him a kiss. "Love you, Rog. I don't know what I'd ever do without you."

Hazel stirred. Her eyes fluttered open and she yawned softly. "Papa." She cooed and crawled off of Roger's lap reaching for her unicorn plushie.

"Papa." Hazel presented him with the toy.

"She loves you, Roger." I told him. "Always remember that." But would our little family be enough for Roger to overcome the hauntings of his past brought back to the surface? I could only hope.

***

I woke up at around 3 in the morning and realized that Roger was missing. I panicked and checked the bathroom, followed by Hazel's room. The baby was sound asleep in her crib, but there was no sign of Roger. Oh God! What if he tried something? What if he ran away? The feeling of dread and failure was overwhelming. I was supposed to protect Roger. How could I sleep when I knew he was back in that dark headspace, at his lowest point in life?

Finally, I found him in the living room, curled up in a little ball watching the telly. He just looked so small and sad. My heart ached.

"Oh Roger." I sighed, putting a blanket snuggly around him. He barely acknowledged me, much like Hazel watching Frozen. Only the Snow Queen wasn't the one gracing the screen. It was a clip of a younger Roger playing the drums. As bizarre as it seemed, watching him play with his eyes open for a change seemed off. _"Many of the students find solace from their dark world in the form of music..." _A voiceover explained. "_Seventeen year old Roger Taylor is a big Beatles_ _fan and even named his service dog after drummer, Ringo Starr." _

"Is this the documentary?" I asked. "Couldn't sleep." He murmured. "It was on Netflix." 

"Probably not the best idea to watch this." I said, but Roger shushed me. So I slunk my arm around him and cuddled as we watched.

The voiceover narrated the senior prom. _"At first glance, prom night doesn't appear to be any different than the ordinary high school experience..." _I immediately spotted a teenage Roger in the panorama of the kids dancing together. He was with a girl, and the two were awkwardly tripping over their own feet. It was cute and like the narration said there wasn't anything off about it. That was until you noticed their eyes cast blankly ahead, not acknowledging each other or anything. Roger leaned in, giving her a clumsy kiss which first landed on her nose but then lowered to her lips. Both their eyes remained wide open during the kiss. Then Roger abruptly pulled away. He said something to the girl and then ran off, bumping into several people on the way and putting his hands out to touch the wall guiding himself to the bathroom.

The camera cut to an interview with a younger looking Crystal. _"Yeah, I mean of course I imagined I'd actually be able to see my date on prom night unlike most people here who don't remember what others look like. But I got to touch her boobs so that was nice. I didn't get much further than that but I consider myself lucky enough. I think that whole loose your virginity on prom night thing is just all hype. I doubt Roger did any better than me despite what he might tell you."_

Then a blonde peeked his head around the corner. Crystal didn't react of course. But then Roger made a sound causing him to glance in that general direct. _"Psst. Chris! Are you there? I though I heard your voice. Are you there? I need to talk to you. Alone."_

_"Yeah, I'm here, Rog. Can you guys let us talk for a few minutes?" _Crystal got up and reached out for Roger. The two walked away arm in arm, which I was told by Roger was a fairly normal thing for them to do to help each other get around. Naturally, the cameras followed.

_"Are we alone?" _Roger whispered. Crystal looked from side to side as if that would help him. _"Yo camera dudes, if you're here, say something!" _The crew gave no indication that they were filming. _"I think we're good." _Crystal said. _"So what's up? Did you get laid or what?"_

_"I um..." _Roger sniffled. "_Please don't hate me, Chris."_

_"Yeah I'm gonna murder you if you got all the way and I didn't!" _He laughed, not catching on from Roger's facial expressions that he was on the verge of tears.

_"I-I kissed her...and then I panicked because...because...It's not a blind thing like I thought...I'm just not attracted to girls the way you are...I'm sorry."_

In the present, I hugged Roger tightly. Coming out was never easy, and Roger hadn't even known that he was being filmed and this would air in the documentary. I doubt he gave them permission to use this footage. What monsters!

"Don't worry." It was like Roger could read my mind. "By the time the documentary was made, I had already come out to my family. I'm just pissed that they didn't tell me they were filming." I gave him another soft kiss to calm him down and let him now I was here for him no matter what.

_"...A-And...I ended up f***ing Drew in the bathroom." _Roger hesitantly admitted to Crystal.

_"Wait. You f***ed Drew? Drew? F***ng Drew?" _Crystal sounded disgusted. I cringed.

_"I know I had sex with a man. I'll understand why you don't want to be my friend anymore." _Roger sobbed.

_"What? No! No! No way! You're my best friend in the whole wide world. I don't care if you're gay. I just think you can do so so much better than that idiot who makes fart noises in human geography class. Drew's an a**hole and you deserve someone better. Set your standards higher, Roger. You should have someone smart and sweet who really loves you. Not that f*ck boy."_

_"Y-You're okay with me being gay?" _Roger sounded so relieved. _"Why would I not be okay with that? You're my best friend no matter what." _Crystal assured him.

In the present I looked down at his small smile. I took comfort in knowing that as dark as things got for Roger, there was a little bit of light coming from somewhere. He just had to seek it out.

_"But I just don't want you to get your heart broken because Drew is not end game material." _Crystal warned.

_"I think I might be in love with him." _Roger admitted.

The camera cut to a skinny boy with curly reddish blonde hair and cocky smile.

_"Yeah I let Roger f*** me. He can claim he's not gay all he wants but he's totally gay for me and we had lots of fun in the bathroom at prom night after he ditched his girl."_

I hated being so judgemental, but Crystal was right. Roger deserved a better first crush than this arrogant boy. Perhaps I was partial and believed Roger always deserved the best. Either way Crystal was spot on. Drew was not the best. 

_"Are you in love with him?" _The interviewer asked.

_"Nah, he's just a good lay. We had some fun. But he's not really boyfriend material."_ Drew laughed. 

"Screw him." I murmured, giving Roger another reassuring kiss. "He missed out on something truly special." Roger didn't say anything, and we continued to quietly watch. 

Of course Drew was the first in the group to have a successful surgery and get his sight back. He was jerk, but I wouldn't wish that fate on him, so I was happy that it worked out for him. The film showed a short montage of congratulatory hugs and phone calls. Only one particular phone call stood out among the rest.

_"Hi Drew, it's Rog. What's it like? I mean Chris kinda explains what he remembers, but I'd imagine you'd have an easier time telling me coming from a perspective of never seeing before."_

_"Yeah it's great Roger! Everything is all so new. I can't believe it. The best part is I finally got to see my sexy neighbor who I've been crushing on for a while. Turns out he's just as hot as his voice. I think I'm gonna ask him out. This could be true love you know. I'm just so happy. Anyway thanks for the call. I hope your surgery goes well next week." _

_"Oh...yes."_ I could hear the raw pain in Roger's voice. "_Well I'll let you go. I'm sure there's lots for you to see. Talk to you soon."_

"I liked him a lot." Roger whispered softly, biting down on his lip. "He was my type too. Tall, lean, lustrous curls."

"I mean...his curl aren't _that _lustrous." I wasn't sure where that outburst came from.

Roger smirked. "You're fun when you're jealous."

"I am not jealous. I just..." Shoot maybe I was jealous. I knew I wasn't Roger's first time, but I had no problem with that. What difference did it make? I had him now. "Look, it's like what Crystal said. You can do better."

"I did do better." Roger nodded. "I prefer my men sweet and kind. Drew wasn't that. He just had the whole tall curly thing going. Fortunately, I know someone who's everything I want in one complete package...Except he kinda has a jealousy issue."

"Cheeky Rog." I bopped his nose, earning a giggle. Yes, this was what i wanted for Roger. Just his smile and laughter. "Seems like you're feeling better." I said, "We should turn this off and go to be--"

The scene suddenly transitioned from Crystal celebrating his returned vision to audio of a frantic 999 call coming from Winifred with the camera panning on empty pill bottles spilled on the floor. 

_"Help quick please! My boy! My baby boy! My husband found him...and he...he...Oh God! He tried to take his own life. Please hurry! Please!" _

A statistic about the suicide rate among the visually impaired flashed on the screen. "They really wanted that statistic for an emphasis on their story." Roger said. "Even if it meant turning a person into a stat." 

"Rog, we really don't have to watch this." I told him, reaching for the remote, but he stopped me. "I wanna see it. Now that I know the truth. I wanna see how they crafted it."

After another interview with the doctor which had his remarks about the tools edited out, Roger was back on camera for one final interview. Whereas before his eyes were simply blank in an unperceptive manner, now they were more blank in an emotionless manner. There was nothing in there. You could tell. Just watching from the outside. Roger was drained. He wanted out. His will to live was gone. I held him even closer to me in the present, reminding him that those days were far behind him now and he was here with me. 

_"I don't know what you want me to say." _His voice sounded so lost and broken like there was no hope left. "_My life sucks. And it's not going to get any better. It's great that my friends had success stories, but that's just not the case for me. _

_"Is that why you tried to kill yourself?" _The interviewer asked. 

_"I don't think things will ever get any better. This is it for me. It will take a miracle for me to reach a point where I'm happy in my life, or even a point where I'm even just okay. But I'm not okay. I'm just existing. And that's it." _He stated bleakly. "_Nothing short of a miracle will change that."_

In the present, Roger was crying, and I was trying to maintain my composure as well, but I just couldn't bare to watch something so devastating happen to my love. But Roger dried his tears and offered me a sad smile. "I found my miracle." He said in a small voice. "Love you, Brimi."

The tears continued to fall. "I just want you to be happy. I never want you to feel so empty like that ever again."

"I _am _happy. I have you and Hazel. Even without my eyes I'd be the luckiest man in the world just to have this beautiful family." Roger continued to sniffle, but I knew he wasn't in a bad place mentally, so I let him cry it out. We spent the night snuggled on the couch bawling over our complex array of emotions. 

***

_Roger's POV_

"NO!" Hazel shouted. 

"Yes!" I responded, putting her in her crib. "It's nap time. Go to sleep!"

"No! *Yawn* No sleepy! *Yawn* NO!" She protested. 

"Brian help!" I begged as Hazel fought against me and her exhaustion. The lullaby he was singing just didn't seem to do the trick. 

Then my phone rang and I officially give up. I handed the writhing, screaming baby over to my husband. "She's your problem now."

I answered the phone now that my hands were free. "Hello." "Roger, dear, I was going through Azalea's closet and making room for all the new clothes I bought for her, and she has a lot of old baby outfits that she outgrew. Perhaps you'd like to come over with Hazel and have her try them on. I bet she'd look adorable in them."

"I dunno, Fred. We're trying to put her down for a nap. She's pretty cranky right now." I said hesitantly. 

"We can bring her!" Brian suddenly emerged behind me, holding Hazel, who was now eager because she wasn't being put to bed. 

"How did you hear Fred's call from the other room?" I gasped. 

"I expect you darlings over here in the next 10 minutes." Freddie said. "See you soon!"

"Merp!" Hazel announced, clapping her hands with a tired yawn. "I guess she can sleep on the drive over to Garden Lodge." I decided. 

***

I almost had a sheer heart attack when Freddie ushered us into the mansion and dozens of people jumped out yelling "SURPRISE!" followed by Freddie grabbing what appeared to be a gun and shot it only for me to realize it was a rainbow confetti cannon. Why did he have a rainbow confetti cannon on hand? 

"Aaaah! What the hell?" I cried, catching my breath. Brian shook the rainbow confetti out of his hair and tried to prevent Hazel from eating the strips of paper she picked up. 

I spotted the usual Garden Lodge crew alongside the Deacons, my Mom, William, Clare, Crystal, Miami and a whole bunch of other people who I didn't recognize right away. Wow! There were so many people here. It was dizzying trying to count them all. 

"It's a party, darling, and it's being thrown in your honor." Freddie exclaimed. "Are you surprised?" 

"Um yeah. It's not my birthday." I reminded him. 

"I know that dear but who says we have to wait till it's your birthday to show you how loved you are. Brian said you were feeling down after the documentary gate scandal and asked me to throw you a party. So I delivered. I invited everyone who loves you!" Freddie proclaimed gesturing to the packed room. 

"I don't even know who half these people are." I said. 

"They're the soulmates you helped unite, and some of your old friends who you've probably never seen before but you'll recognize by voice. I did my research, and I'm not surprised so many people agreed to show up. You're well loved." Freddie explained. "Shall I launch the confetti cannon again and get this party started?"

"Nothing too rowdy. It's past Hazel's bedtime." I couldn't believe how lame I sounded. But then I noticed Hazel waddling away to go play with Azalea and the cats. "Eh, she'll tire herself out. Let's party!"

Freddie grinned, launching the confetti cannon once more. Then the next thing I knew Freddie whisked me away again. He draped me in a king's red cloak and a crown and escorted me around the mansion, showing me off to all the party guests like I was royalty. 

"Brian planned all this?" I asked as I waved to everyone. 

"He told me to make you feel special and loved. I could think of nothing better than this." Freddie put an arm around me as we continued our "royal tour". "Oh that couple already has two kids and are pregnant with their third. Never would've happened if you hadn't helped them find each other. Almost half the people in this room owe you for helping them find their soulmate." Freddie explained. He pointed to Ronnie who was seated at a kids' table drinking apple juice with them instead of champagne. Her tummy was so big. She was going to give birth any day now. "You're responsible for Deaky's bunny action. So when the Deaklings inevitably take over the world, I'm gonna blame you." Freddie teased. 

"I had nothing to do with any of this. I was just in the right place at the right time." I said. 

"Oh I wouldn't say that!" I gasped when I spotted Uncle Clem mingling with the crowd. Keiko was nearby. "Clem-Clem!" I squealed rushing over to him, my crown nearly falling in the process. 

"I got the first flight from Japan as soon as Freddie called. Even convinced Keiko to come with me." He said. "Her sister is managing the inn for now. So it's in good hands while we're gone."

"I hope you're not doing anything too sketchy in advertising and operating that place." I warned him, but I still couldn't contain my smile. 

"Nah, I learned my lesson. It's all on the up and up." He assured me. "Only I do promise anime character meet and greets for families with kids staying at the inn, but I'm purposely vague in not naming specific characters because we have to get off brand characters for copyright reasons."

"I'm so glad you turned your life around." I told him sincerely. "Thank you for coming to...whatever the hell this is."

"An impromptu Roger party is what Freddie called it. Said you were feeling upset and Brian wanted to cheer you up." Uncle Clem explained. "You don't seem very upset now so I would say it's working as planned." 

"I'm not upset." I said. "I never really was upset. It was just those dark thoughts that I thought I put away kinda came back. But Brian was really good about it. He let me scream and cry, and he held me all night and told me he loved me. It really helped. I didn't need all this additional extravaganza but I'm not complaining."

"Sometimes all you need is a good cry, but parties can help too." He said. Uncle Clem's attention then shifting to the crowd around us, dancing and mingling. "It's amazing how many soulmates you've helped find each other over the years, myself and Keiko included."

"It's just luck." I answered honestly. "I feel fortunate that I found Brian. Otherwise I never would have escaped those dark thoughts. He brings me back to the light."

"I think Brian's fortunate to have found you." Uncle Clem patted my shoulder. "You're a bright spot in all of our lives and I'm sure everyone at this party can attest to that...Except maybe that creepy guy lurking in the corner. Who the hell is that?"

"Ohmygod! That's Drew!" I gasped. 

"Who?"

Shit! He was coming over. I was not in the mood for meeting face-to-face (or should I say eye-to-eye) with my quasi ex-boyfriend right now. Actually I would never be in the mood. "Quick! Hide me!" 

Before Drew could get any closer, I hid behind one of Freddie's houseplants. "I'm a tree!" I announced. "Don't pay any attention to me!" Uncle Clem rolled his eyes and walked away leaving me to fend for myself. 

"Roger?" Drew approached. Fuck! Who was I kidding? The only person who could pull off the tree stunt is Brian. 

"Oh hi Drew." I stepped down from the plant display. "I didn't know you'd be here. How's it going?"

"Wow! You're really pretty." He looked me over. I doubt he saw the documentary in its entirety so this was likely his very first time seeing me. "Like really, really pretty." 

"Prettier than your sexy neighbor?" That came out more spiteful than I intended. For all the feelings of closure I got with Brian, there was a bit of pent up rage when it came to the man who I first fell for and lost my virginity to. 

"Oh? You're still hung up on that. C'mon, Roger. That was so many years ago." Drew shrugged. "So how have you been? I haven't heard from you since high school. You kinda disappeared off the face of the earth after we all got our surgeries. I was worried when you didn't reach out to me after your surgery. We all were. Especially Crystal. Then out of the blue I get a phone call from some posh bloke asking me to show up to a Roger Taylor appreciation party. Naturally I was intrigued. So here I am."

I had made amends with Crystal, but hearing Drew's concerns and seeing all these people who came here for me made me realize I had a lot more making up to do with my other friends. Some of them really did care about me. Maybe things weren't as bad as I remember them. 

"I guess you didn't watch the documentary then." I said. 

Drew cringed. "I don't think any of us could stomach that thing. It's just too painful to get through. Nobody wants to relive those memories. Plus I heard Rhye Studios does some messed up stuff when they make the documentaries with disabled kids. Not sure if any of it's true but they allegedly forced a kid to commit suicide or something so it would be more compelling to watch. That's sick if it's true." 

"Yeah. Very messed up." I sighed. "But I don't think there's any point dwelling in what's already done." 

"I tried reaching out to you a while back when I heard that Taylor Swift song. It reminded me of you. Kinda uncanny actually." Drew chuckled. "She was singing directly to me, called me Drew and everything. Anyway, I'm sorry if I was the reason for the teardrops on your drum-set. Did I mention how pretty you are? I never imagined that you looked as perfect as a porcelain doll when I pictured you. Maybe we could get some coffee and catch up some time."

"No. I can't. I'm sorry. I'm married." I thought about my new position for a moment, and then I reveled in it. "Screw it. I'm not sorry. I'm happy. You could've had me, but you chose your neighbor. Now it's too late, and I lucked out because I have the perfect man and not some creep like you. Goodbye Drew." 

Damn that felt good! I couldn't help but turn back and giggle at his flabbergasted expression. He really wasn't expecting me to turn him down like that. What a jerk! Crystal and Brian were right. I could do so much better. And boy was I glad that I did choose to do better. This was as good as it could get. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter came out longer than I expected. Anyway, hope you liked it! :)


	65. Scandal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhye Studios is "sorry".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a request to do a follow up on the Rhye Studios scandal from the last chapter. My torts exam is next week and it falls on the worst day of the year for us Queenies. RIP our legend sweet Freddie who will never ever die in our hearts. 💔💔💔💔 I'll be wearing my lucky Freddie shirt when I take the exam. So I hope this chapter about subsequent legal action will help me study. Hopefully. Probably not. Enjoy!

The videos were all leaked on Youtube, and the anonymous journalist wrote an article published by the BBC and other reputable news outlets. The word was out that the documentary crew of Rhye Studios were scum, and they'd likely never work again. Thank goodness! I was more than happy to put all that drama behind me and move on, but Miami insisted I meet with him to talk possible legal strategies. Even though he was a retired lawyer and he dealt more in entertainment, copyright, and contracts, he wanted to be a part of this case to help me out. I appreciated that. 

"The studio is trying to sue the journalist for defamation, but they don't want any more bad publicity, so they're going to settle. The settlement gives us room to negotiate on your behalf." Miami explained. "Normally we would bring a separate action, but this is a tricky situation because of the statute of limitations."

"What's that?" I inquired. 

"It means in order to sue, you have to present your prima facie case--sorry, hard to not speak Latin--you have to bring your claim to court in a certain amount of time. If you wait too long, you won't be allowed to have a case. The statute of limitations in this jurisdiction* for intentional torts is 5 years, and the issue at hand occurred over 10 years ago. Therefore we're barred by the statute of limitations. So any remedies for our hypothetical claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress will be brought through the negotiations. Does that make sense so far?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, not really following. So too much time passed for me to sue, but I'm negotiating?"

"The attorneys of the studio and the journalist are going to reach a settlement. I'm going to talk to the journalist's attorney to see if we can add negotiations on your behalf into a possible agreement. In other words instead of settling for compensation in return for a non-revocation of the article, we would work in additional compensations for you." Miami stated. 

I was starting to understand even though it was still a bit muddy. "I don't really want money, if that's what you're saying. I just want an apology."

"An apology? Well that can certainly be arranged. I did calculate possible pain and suffering and punitive damages that we could negotiate for, but it may be easier if you're not seeking the money." Miami said. "The issue of the conversion of the doctor's tools was settled a while ago, but the studio still denies any responsibility. They claim that the man who interfered with the tools was not working for them. Perhaps if we're not asking for money we can get an admission for the conversion as well as an apology? I'm not sure if they'll agree and they'll likely argue that it was unlikely your surgery would have succeeded anyway, but I think we'll be able to convince them if we play our cards right."

"I want it to be a legitimate apology. They need to repent for outing me without my permission, and trying to make me into a suicide statistic. The videos are on the internet. Everyone already knows they're guilty."

"Roger, this is torts. Nobody's guilty. They're liable." Miami stated. 

"I don't give a shit about semantics, Miami. All I want is the apology. They wanted me dead because they thought it would make a better story. Is it really too much to ask that they say they're sorry?" I cried. 

"No, I don't think it's too much to ask at all. In fact, most people want money. I think going in not asking for money will give us the leverage to get the apology." He said. "So, let me talk to the journalist's attorney, and we'll see what happens." 

***

_Dear Loyal Viewers,_

_We would like to acknowledge some blunders on our behalf in light of the recent allegations. Foremost, we take the utmost care in sustaining a professional atmosphere and would never do anything to purposefully harm any of our workers or film stars. We see to it that any issues which may occur are quickly resolved with due diligence. So we would first like to recognize that a rogue employee of ours happened to tamper with a surgeon's medical tools which may have impacted the performance in an operation. This employee was not acting our behalf, and we have since terminated his employment. The doctor was compensated for his tools. We take full responsibility. _

_We would also like to publicly apologize to Life in the Dark star, Roger Taylor. Roger's surgery may have been impacted by the incident mentioned above. We are not entirely sure if the outcome would have been any different, but we are sincere in issuing an apology to Roger if this is the case. We are sorry that Roger's failed surgery drove him to attempt to take his own life. We are also sorry for airing a scene in the documentary in which Roger came out of the closet even though Roger and his mother had signed a waiver allowing us to film...._

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" I punched a hole in the wall. Shit! "Briiiiiii!" I hollered. "I need a calming down kiss!" 

"I can do that." Brian happily obliged. "Would you also like to cuddle with a badger because I can arrange that as well."

"I think I'm better now." I sighed. "Thanks."

"Anything I can do to help. I'm sorry that their apology was so insincere and self serving. Perhaps we can order a vegan pizza for tonight."

"Orrrr we can get a normal pizza?" I proposed. Brian rolled his eyes at that request. I purposely pouted and gave him my widest puppy dog eyes. "Your Roggie is sad. Don't you want him to be happy?"

"Oh alright, you win. We can get it from the non-vegan place and we'll order my half without cheese or meat. I hope you enjoy being a spoiled brat who always gets your way." Brian showed he was teasing by affectionately patting my head. 

"Cheewios!" Hazel demanded. 

"No, honey, we're gonna be ordering pizza for dinner. You'll spoil your appetite." Brian told Hazel, being more firm with her than he was with me. I guess you could say I was the favored child. 

"Pwease." Hazel squealed. 

Brian and I both gasped. Awww. Our baby girl was growing up and learning manners. I'm sure I was the one who taught her that...probably. "Sweetheart, say that again." Brian prompted with a surprised smile. "Pwease." Hazel repeated. 

"Who taught you how to say please?" I asked. 

"Cheewios." Hazel replied. The cereal taught her manners. Mystery solved. 

"Hazel, let's use the new word you learned." Brian prompted. Getting annoyed, Hazel humphed. "Pweeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssseeeeee." 

"She is literally the best!" I cooed, getting out the bowl. As I prepared her snack, I got a phone call. 

"Hello, is this Roger Taylor?" The woman on the other end asked. I couldn't recognize her voice. 

"It's May actually. Taylor's my maiden name." I corrected. 

"Oh my mistake. Roger, I'm a representative from the Good Morning Show, London's local talk show in the morning. Would you be interested in coming on tomorrow morning for an interview?" She asked out of the blue. 

What the hell? Was this a prank? "Um...sure I guess, but why would you wanna interview me?"

"We want to get your side of the story in the Rhye Studios scandal. After the allegations came out, a lot of our viewers wrote in that they wanted to hear from you. Now that the studio put out a statement confirming everything that's happened, I think it would be an opportune time for you to share your story." She explained. "What do you think?"

I didn't see any reason to say no. I doubt they'd also deliberately sabotage me or try to make me look bad. "I'm in." I agreed. 

***

I fidgeted with my tie and asked for a refill from the water cup I already drank from. Everyone had been super nice and supportive so far, but I was nervous for when the cameras would start to roll. This wasn't like a well rehearsed drum solo. I wasn't sure what to expect, and I couldn't close my eyes. 

"Roger, relax." The interviewer--Sally, I believe her name was--offered me a warm smile. "It's just an interview. You're not under an investigation. I'm just gonna have a conversation with you. Okay?"

"Okay." I took a deep breath and looked over at Brian off camera was holding Hazel and waving. Then we went live. 

"Hello everyone, I'm here with Roger Taylor, who most of you may know from the documentary Life in the Dark. Hi, Roger, how are you today?"

"Hello, Sally, it's nice to be here." I began to calm down a bit as Sally engaged in a friendly conversation, just asking me about my life, how I got my sight back, what really happened in the documentary, etc. Then my nerves acted up a bit when I noticed some of the people in the audience and crew with teary eyes. Why were they crying? Someone from off camera ran up and gave Sally a tissue. 

"Well, I have to say Roger, that is a very touching and inspirational story, and thank you for being so brave to be here today to come speak with us. We really appreciate it. Can you tell me, and I'm sure our viewers would like to know, what have been some of your favorite new sights so far? Any surprises?"

"That's a good question." I considered it. So many things to see and explore. "Everything's been pretty surprising because it's all so new if that makes sense. Seeing cars for the first time was definitely special. But I'd have to say my favorite sight is my husband. Yes, he's a wonder to look at with his soft eyes, bright smile, and all the hair and the legs. Oh and my daughter of course too. Hazel's a real cutie..."

"Papa!" Hazel somehow got away from Brian and ran toward me. The audience applauded. I grinned and picked her up. "I swear this wasn't scripted." I laughed. 

"She's adorable." Sally agreed waving to Hazel. "How old is she?"

"She is twenty months, and I swear I'm going to stop this whole month bulls--sorry can't say that on air." I thankfully stopped myself and rephrased. "I'm going to stop referring to her age in months when she turns two. Because it's too hard to keep track of otherwise."

Sally laughed. "Well Roger, we just have one more thing we'd like to discuss with you, and then we'll send you on your way with sweet Hazel. We just want you to react to this viral video."

I turned to the screen behind us at first wary it would be another clip from the documentary crew. Only it wasn't. It was just an unfamiliar man with a pair of headsets. 

_"Hey peeps what up it's your boy Conspirazee Bee here with another conspiracy for you. I found something pretty interesting and wanna know what you think. If you watch all these videos caught on camera of people finding their soulmates, you'll notice something..." _Videos of people finding their soulmates began to roll. A lot of the footage was very familiar. _"See.." _The man slowed down the footage _"In all of these videos, there's this cute blonde somewhere in the background. Could this pretty boy have the answer to finding love? Let me know what you think in the comments below and don't forget to subscribe for more crazy conspiracy videos."_

"So that's clearly you in those videos." Sally acknowledged. 

"Guilty as charged." I replied. "I'm just really lucky. There's no secret honestly. I think maybe after having little to no luck my entire life, some higher force decided to answer my prayers and repay me. But it's all coincidental. I don't know anything about soulmates or any of that. I'm just blessed to have found the love of my life."

"And we're all glad to know of your beautiful love story and we wish you all the best. Thank you so much for being here. You're welcome to come back any time."

"Thank you, Sally. It was lovely being here." 

I was eager to return to Brian once the cameras stopped rolling. Only Sally and several crew members and audience members hovered over me for hugs and overall well wishes. Plus they wanted to say hi to Hazel who was being cute and hiding behind her hair and playing peek-a-boo. 

Finally I got to Brian, who gave me the best hug of all. "How was I?" I asked. "Brilliant." He replied. "I'm really proud of you, love."

I was greeted by even more love from a bunch of incoming texts on my phone. Apparently many people were watching. 

**Freddie**😸: You were a star, my darling! A STAR!!🤩 xxoxxoxoxox😘

**John**☺️: Great job, Roger! 

**Crystal**🤪: Dude, you broke the internet! #BoycottRhyeStudios and #RogerSlay are both trending on Twitter right now! 

**Clare**💙: You were awesome!! Hazel is too cute!🥰

"You know Miami is right about the court of public opinion. It does hold a very high power. I think it's safe to say nobody will want to be associated with that documentary team ever again." Brian said. 


	66. It's Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger gets another lesson in art. Also cute pandas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone cares, here's an update on me. I think I did decently enough to pass on 2 of my finals. I think I failed the one I felt most confident about going into exams. And I have one more after Thanksgiving break. Yay! 
> 
> I felt like writing something soft. I know I do that too much. Just fluff without much plot. But I really don't care. I need this now. So here's some fluff about pandas or something IDK...

Naming the newest Deakling Michael was not John's idea. Michael was the name of Veronica's great grandfather. I tried my best to give the name a new association. I'd welcome Baby Michael into the family with open arms. Too bad he wasn't so willing to join us. I mean I guess I shouldn't hold something like that against him. But it seemed like he was being a stubborn little baby for a lack of better term. Ronnie went to the hospital on her due date and nothing happened. The doctors told her to go home and wait for contractions. That was 2 days ago.

So Freddie threw an impromptu "Threat Level Ay-Oh" meeting with all of us at Garden Lodge where he engaged us in some fun activities that he believed would help the baby arrive sooner.

"I don't think any of this is scientifically proven to induce labour, Fred." Brian said as he was handed a paintbrush.

"Of course it is. Everyone knows that painting with water colors while listening to opera and drinking raspberry tea will make the baby excited to be born." Freddie stated like this was common knowledge. "And it helps if everyone around the expectant mother is doing it as well. Jim, dear, do you mind making volume a tad louder please?"

"It's very convenient that three things you happen to love: tea, opera, and painting—are designed to induce labour." I remarked skeptically.

"Well our doctor did recommend the raspberry tea." Ronnie said. "I'm open to trying anything so long as it's natural."

"And the kids are having fun." Deaky nodded toward our little ones giggling as they messily finger painted on their papers.

I looked at my blank sheet of paper and the painting tools. For some reason it felt foreign to me. We all weren't professionals like Freddie obviously, but the others had some semblance of what they were supposed to do. Even the kids had no trouble splattering paint on the page. What was wrong with me? Why was I overthinking this? Brian who thought meticulously about each and every little detail managed to pick up his brush and start to paint. Ugh! Why was I just staring at a blank sheet of paper not seeing anything? Wait...

I totally just thought like a normal person. I said I was staring at the blank paper not seeing anything. That's something a non-blind person wouldn't even think twice about. I did it! I reached a point where I was finally not questioning my eyes. Was this another milestone worthy of celebrating? It was difficult to express my thought process to the others, so I'd have to just congratulate myself internally.

"Roger, sweetie, are you okay? When you get lost in your own head this long without screaming, I know something's wrong." Brian noted.

"You didn't paint anything, darling." Freddie observed.

"I um..." Trying to put my thoughts to words was tougher than I expected. "I've never painted before...and I think I'm just having trouble with visualizing what I want to paint on the page." Yeah that was it. My problem was conjuring an image in my brain and transferring it to the paper. All too theoretical for my new eyes. Just a bit of an existential crisis. Nothing to worry about.

"That's the fun of it, dear. You can paint whatever you want. Whatever comes to mind. The page is blank for a reason. It's whatever you make of it." Freddie said.

"Didn't you learn painting in arts and crafts class in school, Uncle Roggie? We do painting all the time in arts and crafts class." Azalea inquired.

I really didn't want to explain to her that I was too ill to go to pre school and never painted before because arts and crafts isn't really a priority for the blind. Thankfully, Hazel offered a distraction when she perked up and eagerly held up her finger painting. "Hazel school!" She said proudly.

"Why do you wanna start school so bad? School is boring." Azalea wondered.

"I like school." Robert said.

"You're a poopyhead. School is only good at snack time and lunch time. All the other times are not fun." Azalea responded.

"Azalea, we've talked about this, my love." Freddie said. "We use nice words when talking to other people."

"What did I say wrong?" She asked.

"You called Robert a poopyhead. That's not very nice." How Jim said that with a straight face was beyond me. Even Freddie was starting to snicker.

"Oh. Sorry." Azalea said flippantly and then went back to painting.

"You really want a second one of these little gremlins?" Freddie teased Deaky.

"It's a little late to reconsider." Ronnie gestured to her tummy. "Now please let me focus on my painting. I think it'll help."

Since this was my first time painting, I made a clueless attempt. It didn't seem so difficult at first. Just put the brush in the paint and then brush to paper. _'Not bad' _I thought to myself.

"Okay everyone let's show off our masterpieces!" Freddie announced. He held up his perfect painting of Delilah. It probably wasn't best to compare my work to an artist.

"I made a mishmash!" Azalea proclaimed holding up her splotches of paint.

"I made a mishmash too!" Robert told us.

"Hazel made a mishmash." Azalea pointed to Hazel's project.

"Three mishmashes." Freddie nodded.

Who was I kidding? I might as well call my painting a mishmash as well. Shows I'm about as competent as your average 3 year old.

"I painted a flower." Jim held up his lovely rose painting for everyone to see.

"Aww, you're so soft!" Freddie cooed.

Deaky held up his confusing self portrait featuring himself painting a picture of himself. "I painted a picture of myself painting a picture of myself." He explained.

"No more inception for you, dear." Freddie said. "Brian, I assume you painted a badger, so we can move onto Ron—"

"—I'm not that predictable. I painted the solar system. See. Here's all the planets and their moons orbiting the sun." 

"Where's Uranus?" I snickered.

"Why is Pluto still in there? It's not a planet anymore." Deaky observed.

"Darlings, please, we must ask more important questions." Freddie interjected. "Why are all the planets orbiting the sun like that? We all know the world revolves around me!"

"Pluto is no longer a planet, but it's still a part of the solar system and my heart." Brian said. "And Freddie, your ego is the size of Mercury."

"You didn't answer my question about Uranus." I pouted. Brian rolled his eyes.

"Ronnie, dear, what did you paint?" Freddie moved on.

Ronnie held up her painting of two cute but strange looking black and white dogs. "I painted a mommy and baby panda." She announced.

Oh my God! "I've never seen pandas before!" I gasped. "I thought those were weird looking dogs."

"I only ever saw pandas on TV." Azalea said innocently.

"I saw a panda once at the zoo." Robert said.

"Brian, how could you go this long without showing your Roggie a panda?" Freddie exclaimed. "This simply won't do."

He took out his phone and showed me an image of Ronnie's painting brought to life. A baby panda and its mom. They were super cute! The word "fuzzy" came to mind, something I never would have been able to associate without touch. Vision was such a wonder. Just when I thought I was beginning to come to terms with it too.

Hazel surprised me by looking at the picture as well. Then she squealed "pandas." Yay! A new word.

"Yes, Hazel, that's right. Pandas." Brian cooed. He looked to me and smiled. "Pandas." He repeated.

"I love seeing new things." I grinned back. My eyes darted between Brian and Hazel. Certain familiar sites were just as special as the new ones.

"So, what did you paint, Roger?" Brian inquired.

"Do you even need to ask, dear?" Freddie mused. "He obviously painted a car. Let's see your four wheeled masterpiece!"

"Um, it's not a car this time." I hesitantly held up my paper. "Please don't laugh. It is my first time painting after all."

I cringed at my rudimentary stick figures. "This curly blob is supposed to be Brian. I'm the one next to him, and this smaller curly blob is Hazel. I painted our family."

"That's very sweet." Brian hugged me.

"Not bad for your first time painting. I expected a fourth mishmash." Freddie complimented.

"Really?" I did not expect that coming from a talent like Freddie. Perhaps everyone was being nice to make me feel better about my inferior skills.

But then John who could not tell a lie spoke up. "I know you can literally see yourself now, but I wish you could see yourself, like really take take a step back and see how far you've come. We're always telling you how proud we are of you for a reason, Roger. I know we both remember not too long ago you wouldn't even dare to dream of being able to paint, let alone painting a picture of your family. Now you're living the life you've always wanted. You ought to give yourself more credit because you deserve it."

John was quiet, but in rare moments like this when he did speak, his words meant the world. "Thank you, Deaky. And look how far you've come too. Remember when you were so shy you couldn't even speak to Ronnie? Now you're going to welcome your second child into the world."

"And he sure is taking his sweet time." Ronnie remarked, putting her hands on her belly.

"My mam says it's good luck when babies stay in longer than their due date." Jim told her.

"Better late than never." Freddie agreed. "I'm sure he'll make a grand and dramatic entrance. We just have to be patient. Why don't you drink some more tea in the meantime, darling. That ought to help."

Ronnie held up her cup of tea "Cheers to pandas and mishmashes!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pandas will cure my depression!🐼  
Oh and also Animaniacs 2020, the only good thing to come out of this god awful year.


	67. Thank God It's Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling a lot better now. Haven't really been in the mood to write lately, but since it's Christmas time I decided to add this chapter. Happy holidays!

_Roger's POV_

While every Christmas was a special Christmas, this year was particularly memorable because we were welcoming baby Michael into the world, who was only a few days old. As expected, he spent most of the night napping in Azalea's old crib rather than engaging in the Garden Lodge festivities. Veronica, still recovering, rested with him. Deaky alternated between our jolly fun alongside Robert and checking in on his wife and newest son. Despite this, the mood of course was still very jubilant.

With all our family (plus Jim's gazillion siblings visiting from Ireland) and several dear friends, Garden Lodge was alive with celebration. Kids and cats raced through the halls as the adults laughed and toasted their eggnog, with the sound of Freddie joyfully singing Christmas carols never too far from gracing your ears.

Hazel waddled by me in the midst of a game of tag with Azalea and one of Jim's nieces. "Twee." She pointed to the Christmas tree and went on her happy way.

"She's adorable!" Crystal grinned. "Is this her first Christmas?"

"It's her second Christmas, but I don't think she remembers her first. She probably won't remember much of this one either." I explained.

"She's happy and with her loved ones. That's good enough, right? I'm sure she'll have some lasting memories soon enough. She's not even two yet, so there's lots of time." Crystal replied.

I nodded, watching Hazel giggle with her cousins, her smile refusing to fade even when Deaky reminded them not to be too loud because Baby Michael was sleeping upstairs. Hazel didn't have a care in the world. Her life was nothing but laughter and smiles. It was perfect. Exactly what I wanted for my daughter: the childhood that I was denied.

"I love Christmas." I sighed. "It gives you an excuse to act like a little kid."

"I never knew you needed an excuse." Crystal joked. To prove his point, I stuck out my tongue and threw a piece of fruit cake at his face. Crystal threw the fruit cake right back at me and flipped me off. We both laughed. Some things never change although it was left unspoken that the last time we celebrated Christmas together, we were in the dark. Those days were thankfully over. It was time to move forward.

"Roggie! My sweet boy, there you are!" Before I could question what was happening, my mother latched onto me and dragged me into the foyer. I shrugged and waved bye to Crystal, ignoring the arm lock walk Mom insisted on doing. "Watch your step, dear." I rolled my eyes and followed her forward. I really wasn't in the mood to remind her that I could take care of myself, so I went along with it. "Where are we going?"

_"I really can't stay..." _Freddie's voice grew louder. "_...But baby it's cold outside.." _The sudden shift in octave was kinda jarring. Freddie had an incredible range!

There he was seated behind the piano, grinning as he crooned. His hand raised to gently shoo the cats away from the keyboard. William, Jim, and two of Jim's sisters sat on the couch, enjoying the show. Poor Brian was perched on the chair as three of Jim's nephews and Robert all tried to sit on his lap at the same time, playing with his hair and his floopy red Santa hat. This was probably not the best idea since Brian was recovering from a seasonal case of the sniffles, but it was only minor, so I wasn't too concerned about the kids getting sick.

"Oh Freddie! I found your duet partner." Mom pushed me forward. "Now you don't have to sing both parts."

"Rog," Brian looked up, and cleared his throat, "where's Hazel?"

"She's playing with Az and the others." I told him. "You want me to sing?"

"Of course we do, darling. I would've asked Brian, but he has to rest his vocals to feel better. It works out this way. You can sing the higher part." Freddie exclaimed.

"You mean the girl's part?" I corrected. Why even complain that I was put in that role? We all knew I sang high. Might as well embrace it. Freddie giggled as I made a somewhat sexy pose against the piano. _"I really can't stay..."_ I sang in an over the top flirtatious girly voice.

_"...Baby it's cold outside..." _Freddie sang back, channeling a pretty convincing Dean Martin. And the song went on with the two of us giving a silly and grandiose performance certainly not worthy of a little living room family get together, but a fun spectacle nonetheless. The two of us were smiling and laughing by the end, earning an applause from the small audience.

"Well, we know we did a good job because the cats are purring for us." Freddie stood up from the piano and dramatically bowed, gesturing me to do the same.

"Uncle Brian, Uncle Brian, did you bring your guitar?" Robert squealed.

"I did, but I can't really play anything when I have four kids trying to suffocate me." He laughed and then coughed, trying to at least cover his mouth, but Jim's nephew clung to his arm so he couldn't block it in time.

"Boys, you might wanna give him some space." Jim advised.

_"Have yourself a chaotic little Christmas night..." _Freddie sang making me laugh again when more of Jim's nieces and nephews came running in. This time Azalea was among them. Little Hazel stumbled in behind them, struggling to keep up with the bigger kids.

"When does Santa come?" Azalea asked.

"When you're sleeping, silly. You leave out milk and cookies for him." Jim said.

"And a fashionable coat." Freddie added. "Y'know it's cold in the North Pole, and Santa could use some extra style. Although I do love the red suit. Can't beat the classics."

"Wow! I didn't know Santa was a contender to get a makeover on Queer Eye." William laughed.

Azalea decided that she had enough of this conversation about Santa's fashion and observed the boys piled on Brian. "Everyone on Uncle Brian's lap!" She announced, charging first and the rest of the kids followed joining onto the cuddle chain.

"No!" Brian cried, "I really don't think--" With Brian's weight plus eight children, the chair collapsed beneath them. Yeah, this wasn't funny at all for Brian, but...

I laughed the loudest. I couldn't help it. I nearly fell over guffawing at Brian and the kids now on the floor and the broken chair. It was just so ridiculous. I was almost teary eyed from laughing so much.

"Best Christmas ever!" Azalea cheered and led her posse of cousins away from Brian and out of the room.

Again, Hazel moved her baby feet as quickly as she could trying to keep up with the bigger kids. Only she just couldn't make it, and tumbled down onto the floor.

"Oh no!" I gasped as Hazel erupted into tears. I hated it when she cried. "No! No! No pouty faces allowed on Christmas." I picked her up. "It's okay, honey. Please don't cry, my love. I've got you."

Brian finally broke free from the boys on top of him and rushed to our baby. "Beautiful Hazel Blue. Shh. It's alright. Don't cry."

He turned away for a brief moment to sneeze, and then Hazel's tears subsided. She actually smiled and giggled. "Dada." She cooed.

"Hazel, you crazy girl, you think it's funny when Daddy sneezes?" I asked her.

"She gets it from you. You think it's funny when Daddy falls through a chair." Brian said. Hazel giggled some more.

"No more sad faces." I told her. "Come here. You can sit with all the grownups and Uncle Freddie can play the piano and Daddy will play the guitar. Would you like that? You can sit on my lap."

"Wait!" Freddie exclaimed jumping forward excitedly with his phone. "None of you move a muscle. I need to take your picture!"

Brian gasped. "Roger, look where we are." He pointed up. The three of us were standing directly under the mistletoe. How perfect! Brian kissed one of Hazel's chubby cheeks, and I kissed the other. Freddie captured the moment on camera.

***

"Let's go find a quiet room for your nap." I held Hazel's hand as we walked down the hall. "Baby Michael is using Azalea's old crib so you might have to sleep in a big girl bed for now. Unless Freddie has another spare crib lying around."

Hazel babbled something incoherent and I assumed it meant she wasn't sleepy yet. I knew she wanted to stay up late with her older cousins, but she'd just get cranky if we skipped her nap.

I opened the door to what I thought was a spare bedroom, but turned out to be a TV room. Uncle Clem was spotted on the sofa with Keiko, Clare, and even more of Jim's nieces. Damn, the Huttons procreated more than the Deacons.I greeted Uncle Clem normally: by walking up and screaming at him. "Aaaaaaah!!! You've been here this whole time and you didn't think to come say hi or Merry Christmas? What the hell, Clare? Why are you hogging him?"

"Aaaaaah!!!" Hazel mimicked.

The nieces shushed us as they watched the TV.

"Hey there, Roger!" Uncle Clem adjusted himself in his seat but didn't stand up, and I saw why. He was wearing one of those boot casts on his leg. "Kinda been stranded in here for the last two hours 'cause one of the kids stole my little scooter I've been using to get around. Did I tell you how I broke my leg? Now that is a story!"

"He slipped in the shower." Keiko spoiled.

"Wait. You weren't wrestling an alligator that escaped the zoo and saving all the kids at the water park?" Clare gasped and the nieces seemed disappointed as well.

"Still telling tall tales?" I sighed.

"Only to the kiddies." Uncle Clem justified. "You liked hearing the story, right girls?"

The nieces nodded. One of them remarked "I knew it was a make believe story."

"Well I love make believe stories." Clare said.

"Just make sure everyone knows they're not true stories before you tell 'em." I said firmly.

"Speaking of kiddies, look how big this one's gotten! Come over here, Hazelnut!" Uncle Clem put his arms out and Hazel waddled into his embrace. "Aww, she's so precious, Roger."

"She needs her nap." I reminded her. "Say bye-bye Clem-Clem." I prompted.

"No!" Hazel stepped back toward Uncle Clem.

"Yes!" I insisted reaching for her only to have her run up to the TV. "Elsa."

"You stubborn girl. That's not even Elsa." I cried.

"Ahh, come on Roger, let her stay up and watch Barbie Nutcracker with us." Clare coaxed. "It's Christmas. Brian's not even forcing her to bed. It's all your doing, and I thought you were the fun parent."

"Well, I guess there's no real harm in this." I sighed. "You lucky girl." I cooed down at Hazel as I picked her up and put her on my lap.

***

_Brian's POV_

I lost track of time Christmas caroling with Freddie and the kids. Eventually I realized it was well past Hazel's nap time and she would get rather cranky if we didn't put her down soon. Now where did Hazel go? Was she with Roger? Where did Roger go?

Garden Lodge was fairly large, so it took me a while to search through all the rooms. I found several cats and quite a few little ones roaming around, but no Hazel and Roger. 

"Hi Uncle Bri!" Azalea rounded the corner, nearly colliding with my legs. "I"m gonna stay up all night for Santa! Do you want a gingerbread man? They're yummy. Uncle Joe made them." She munched on her cookie as she spoke excitedly. Although she looked more like Jim, her mannerisms were similar to Freddie's. The sing-songy voice and the way she waved her hands dramatically while she spoke, it was all very Mercury-like. Interesting to observe, since she wasn't Freddie's biological daughter. 

"Az, honey, have you seen Uncle Roger and Hazel?" I asked her.

"Oh yeah. Uncle Roger is napping. They're in that room over there." She pointed and then ran off to retrieve more cookies.

Roger was napping? What about Hazel? I went into the room that Azalea directed me to, and sure enough Roger was sound asleep, and sweet Hazel was wide awake on his lap. Aww. 

"Shhh! Don't wake him." Clem whispered as Clare put a blanket over Roger to keep him warm. Hazel looked up at me and cooed but then looked back at the TV. 

"I bet he's dreaming of sugar plum fairies." Clare whispered. "What do you think, Hazel?" Hazel was invested in whatever cartoon was playing. Something surprisingly not Elsa related. 

I leaned down and kissed Roger's forehead. "Merry Christmas, my sleeping angel." I whispered and moved Hazel onto my own lap, bouncing her up and down happily as we watched. 

Despite my sniffles, I was still having a beautiful Christmas, and I knew Roger and Hazel could say the same. 


End file.
